Episode 917 - John Cullen

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark.

And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.

Woo!

Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 917 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.

My name's Graham Clark.

With me, as always, is a man who fancies himself an Oreo thin over an Oreo regular, Mr.

Dave Shumka.

Yeah, here's my hot food take.

Okay, go.

The stuffing is the worst part of the Oreo.

Yes, you've said that before.

Yeah.

And you know what?

I used to get the

Christie or Nabisco chocolate wafers.

Yes.

They don't make them anymore.

They don't?

They don't.

They're not available.

Man, I should have spent more time with it.

I know.

Yeah.

Oh, man.

They were so good for dipping in vanilla.

They would just

disintegrate.

And you just like, you know, you could stuff a bunch of them in your mouth all at once.

Anyways, they were fun.

They were fun cookies.

They really don't make them anyway.

And I checked the baking aisle.

I checked,

because people crush them up and make the cake

toppers or bottomers.

Bottomers.

Crusts.

Cheesecake crusts.

Tops, bottoms, whatever.

Yeah, I'm sort of a...

What do they call someone who can do both?

First of all, I'll get yourself a man who can do both.

But yeah, they were sort of power bottoms.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, they were power bottoms, absolutely.

But yeah, they're not in the cookie aisle.

They're not in the baking aisle.

I went online.

Not since like 2020.

Yeah.

I have a favorite.

We'll get into it later.

Our guest today, a repeat guest here on the repeat.

Three Pete.

Yeah.

And he has since.

I know him from comedy, but since then he has become a podcaster.

He's become an author.

He's become a color commentator.

He is Mr.

Curling himself, Mr.

John Cullen.

Thank you guys so much.

Thank you for having me back.

Just would like to report: I am a cheesecake bottom.

Oh, okay.

I do love that sort of crushed-up cookie crust.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's as good as it gets.

There used to be, you know, Vortmann, those kind of weird cookies.

Yes, Vortmann.

There was one.

What?

There was one.

Do you not know those?

Oh, it's like a Dutchman.

Vortman cookies.

It's like a Dutch sort of like a traditional drawing of a

long plastic.

Yeah.

I'm going to look up Vortmann.

Vortmann.

Vortmann.

I wonder if they're still going, Mr.

Vortex.

Oh, yeah,

oh, they are.

Okay.

But they had one that I loved and they discontinued it.

Nothing worse than that.

My idea for an app or a website is a thing that lets you know: hey, by the way, your favorite whatever, lip gloss

cookie,

it's done.

Coca-Cola is going to be done in one month.

But is that any

time?

Give yourself food poisoning in a year when the leftover packages you have.

I shouldn't even know that lip gloss.

Did we get to know us?

We are now.

Get to know us.

John?

Yes.

You are

a

cheesecake bottom.

Yeah, I am a cheesecake bottom.

Thank you.

What type of cake or pie are you a top?

Oh, that's an excellent question as well.

I would say most pies.

I'm more of a pie filling guy than a pie crust guy.

Oh, so I'm sort of the opposite of Dave's Oreo stance.

Right.

Yeah, but I would also say a a lot of pies have a top that is crust.

Yes, exactly.

And I don't need that.

Would you eat?

I like a sour cherry pie.

Would you eat a filling just with no crust at all?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Definitely.

Do you?

I had an apple yesterday.

Some people say, like, ooh, I love this without the pie.

If you say pie filling, some people think of the cans.

Yeah.

Which seems very cool.

Would I just open a can and eat pumpkin pie right out of the can?

Would you?

I might.

I might have to microwave it.

Pumpkins?

I don't like pumpkin.

Well, because that's not sweetened.

Oh, you have to mix it in.

You have to make your own.

You have to make your own

pumpkin spice.

Oh, I see.

Okay, so out of the can would be disgusting.

Yeah.

It doesn't come that way.

And there might be some brands that do it.

Vortman.

Vortman, maybe.

That's where I used to always go for my sweetened pumpkin pie filling, my pre-spiced.

What is your top pie?

Oh, I do like a sour cherry.

I like a blueberry.

And I also am a fan of the

cream pies.

Yeah, cream pies.

Absolutely.

That's a top Zabota.

There we go.

Your coconuts, your bananas, your chocolates.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So

you're not like a top crust guy.

No, don't like the top crust.

Like, it's fine.

I'm not like, I'm not going to pull it off or something if it's on there, but I'm not like, hey, you know what?

I've never seen anybody do that.

That would be very funny.

Just feel about it.

Does anybody want this?

Is this my convertible?

Exactly.

Like, I wouldn't, I don't think I would do that.

Oh, that would be cool if, like, you're from Toronto, right?

I am, yeah.

If someone made a skydome pie that had a retractable.

Oh, yes.

Home of the Skydome pie.

The Skydome, the very famous Skydome pie.

Yeah, it's like Deep Dish Chicago.

And you look inside, and Alan Thick and Andrea Barton are singing.

I don't follow baseball at all, but the Jays are on a hot streak.

They just won last night.

Yeah, they're going to the American League Championship Series.

Okay.

And they're going to face either the Seattle Mariners.

Yay.

Yay.

Or

Detroit Tigers.

Detroit Tigers.

Are you a Mariner guy, Dave?

Because

there is a subset of Vancouver.

I am not a big baseball fan, but I do have a soft spot for the Mariners

because

they are traditionally bad.

True.

Yeah, Seth Famously is never won.

Yeah.

And

when I started following hockey as a Vancouver Canucks fan, I believe the Canucks had the record for the longest streak of losing seasons.

They had like lost 13 seasons in a row, like below 500.

And I think the Mariners eclipsed that.

So you like a loser.

I, yeah, I mean,

I mean, Bruce in the pudding.

I didn't say it.

I didn't say it.

I didn't say anything.

I gestured.

You gestured at me.

For those at home, Dave pointed at Grant.

Yeah, he didn't put it, John.

Well, I don't like him.

Ain't that the truth?

So

in the meantime, between the last time you were here,

last time you were here, you were talking about your new podcast series.

About curling.

About curling.

Yes.

And now I'm talking about the book I wrote about curling.

I'm very conscious of the fact that the two previous times I've been on your show, we have mostly talked about curling.

So it's okay if we don't talk about curling.

Okay, but tell us about writing a book for Friday.

The book, Tell us just the name of the book.

The book is called Curling Rocks.

Moving on.

Yep.

And it's about

curly eyelashes.

Yes, exactly.

Is it like Curling Rocks with an exclamation point?

Yes, it is.

It's Curling Rocks, Exclamation Point, subtitle, Chronicles of the Roaring Game.

Why is it the Roaring Game?

Because that's the sound that...

People think the rock makes as it's going down the ice.

Dave, too scary.

Yeah.

It's too scary.

I know it's October, but but it's still too scary.

Yeah, curling is actually sponsored by Katy Perry.

And so that's why they call it.

It's got a song called Roar.

Yeah, that's right.

Checks.

Your dad is a geologist.

He is.

And so he would probably see the book and be like,

actually, curling rocks.

Curling occurs over a million of years to rock.

He would talk about sedimentary.

You know, in the life

span of rocks.

The points you're doing is by the way.

Yeah.

The human being is only a blink of an eye.

Well, I think your dad would be fascinated because all the curling stones come from the exact same place.

Really?

Yeah, every curling stone in the world is from this one quarry on an island just off the coast of Scotland.

It's called Ailsa Craig.

Really?

Yes.

Imagine getting stranded there and being like, what am I going to do with this?

What am I going to do?

Oh,

I could build rocks.

Yeah.

Is that in the book?

That is not in the book, actually.

I don't bring up.

Oh, I got to talk to your editor.

I know, I know.

That's Charlie.

Charlie DeMares, past guest of this program, is the editor of this show.

The editor of this book, I mean, not this show, but.

Oh, maybe you should edit this show.

Yeah.

Hey, Charlie, take this part out.

So

how long, start to finish, did it take you to write?

They gave me six months.

Whoa.

And it was just pouring out of you.

It was just, I couldn't stop it.

Once the flow started, I couldn't stop.

Yeah, they, because they kind of said they're like, we only release books as a joke.

Yeah, nobody reads them anyway.

Exactly.

That's what they said.

And I laughed.

And then they cut me a check.

And I was like, well, this is a great joke.

It was joke rules.

But yes, so they

said, we only release books in spring and fall.

This is obviously a fall book.

So they gave me the offer last September, September 2024.

And they were like, can you have this done by March 1st, 2024?

Yeah.

Because we, or 2025, because they're like, you need to go back in time.

You got to go back in time.

Yeah.

You got to go six months in reverse.

And also warn me.

Yeah.

And tell us who, no, going back in time wouldn't get you any.

Oh, if you met your pastor.

No, you go back to support.

That's the Hornscars.

Yeah.

Horse cars.

So, yeah.

So then I said, I guess so.

And then, yeah, I wrote it in six months.

65,000 words.

It's a,

is it essays?

It is, yes.

Are there glossy page photos in it?

No, but there are illustrations.

Like, that's the only thing I want.

That's what I flipped to immediately.

Son of a bitch.

There's illustrations, though, by Alyssa Hirosi of Vancouver, local Vancouver.

Yeah.

Cool.

So she's great and did some illustrations, but yeah, no glossy.

This might shock you, Graham.

People were not looking for a hardcover, glossy photo curling book.

Well, that's, you know, that's on them.

I agree.

You know, that's their loss.

That's what I'm saying.

You did the book launch yesterday at a curling ring.

That's correct.

Did you sign books?

I did.

Yes.

You put a funny little thing in it.

I tried to.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I did some little, yeah, especially because it was my home curling club, like where I grew up curling.

So I knew some of the people there.

So was able to, you know, hey, to Doug, thanks for kicking my ass on Tuesday nights when I was 16 years old.

Ha ha.

When did you move out here?

In 1999.

Give me an age.

13.

Okay.

I want you to guess.

I was going to let you guess.

Well, I guess you said you were from, I said you you were from Toronto.

I am from Toronto, but moved here when I was 13 in 1999.

Right.

You got a curly scholar.

When you were in 1999, did you understand the significance of the Prince song that it was so popular during that year?

I did.

Yeah.

And Y2K.

Y2K.

They said, you know what?

Y2K is going to hit the West Coast last.

It's true.

They'll be the most alive.

That's why we moved.

So your parents moved.

That's smart.

They were Y2K truthers.

Did you, you would have been 14 on Y2K.

You stay up until

midnight.

We can do math.

We can do the math.

It's a quick math.

We all had a birthday on January 1st.

That's how it works.

Did you stay up?

I did stay up.

Yeah.

Were you scared?

I was scared.

I think we're all.

I was going to say, were you guys not a little bit scared?

Well, no, because Australia had gotten through fine.

And there was also Jennifer Lopez video where the

wave dropped and it goes 1999 to

now.

Being 13 in 1999, that maybe explains why you have a new metal podcast.

Yeah, I think so, Dave.

It might, yeah.

Are you a a new metal guy, Dave?

No, I was 19 in 1999.

Okay, that's fair.

But you were 14 when Corn's debut album, Cornhead.

Oh, he's a Cornhead.

Oh, sure.

Oh, big Corn guy.

Okay.

They played here last week, I think.

They did.

I went to the show in Calgary.

And he still use a crazy microphone stand.

I feel like he does.

He does.

Yes, you remember that.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Did he pipe?

He did pipe.

Oh, shit.

Yeah, both sexually and bagging.

Oh, fuck.

It was it.

He lay in pipe.

He was laying the pipe.

pipe.

That's during like a real down, you know,

like solo kind of.

Fans are starting to stream towards the exits, and he's like, whoa, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

You're missing the best part.

But yes, for those of you who are not cornheads like myself,

and David Graham.

And David Graham, apparently.

Yes, Jonathan Davis spent...

I believe.

For those of you who aren't corn fans, Jonathan Davis is a member of the band.

He's not the guy who created Garfield.

People are deaf.

Wait, why are they talking about Garfield all of a sudden?

Do you think Jonathan Davis is a mixture of Jim Davis, the creator, and John Arbuckle, the character?

I'm guessing, yes.

I'm guessing that's what Graham thought.

But yeah, the rumor was it was 50 grand, but he got like

custom money.

Yeah, I believe it was designed by H.R.

Geiger.

It was, yeah.

And it's like a

naked woman like leaning back.

And

I love it when they do this.

I know, right?

Has a prominent

chest area.

And then, yeah, he still has that mic stand.

What if he, what if the, you know, he lost it in kind of in transit?

What would he use?

Just a normal microphone stand?

I'm guessing he doesn't perform.

Oh, he just does.

He's had it for 25 years now.

He probably wouldn't know what to do without it.

He could do like Steven Tyler with some

scarves on it.

Scarves.

Yeah,

what are the big mic stand moves?

Freddy Mercury.

Freddy Mercury with the half, the half stand.

literally that's the only one I was thinking of either Steven I feel like is there somebody that really uses like a bullhorn in their acts

I feel like there's somebody that I'm forgetting yeah the Rolly yeah the bullhorn Freddy I think there's a couple like green day songs yeah yeah oh yes yeah

American Idiot they went heavy on the bullhorn yeah a lot of political statements going on there and a lot of people They do the little invisible, you know,

the Madonna.

You think if you have a mic stand, you got to do some moves with it.

You got to like knock it over and kick it back up again.

Definitely.

Then James Brown would do that.

Yeah.

Oh, big time.

I mean, I guess, like, Sabrina Carpenter has the like sequined microphone, but it's not like a stand.

I feel like some of your pop stars will do something with the microphone itself.

But as far as the stand goes, I feel like...

Famous with the microphone stand.

That's a cool Google search.

That's the Google search of a mid-40s.

Oh, well, first thing that comes up, you know it's Jonathan Davis, creator of Garfield.

What a cool fucking stand.

Yeah.

I mean, look at that thing.

It is amazing.

Like, it is.

It does.

Who is this guy from?

That was Booper?

The Sweden Rock Festival.

This guy looks really cool.

Sweden Rock.

Don't they know the famous phrase curling rocks?

Thank you, Dave.

I was hoping for that.

Yeah, this is Blackie Lawless from Wasp and his famous skeleton microphone stand named Elvis.

Nice.

Oh, he's from Wasp is like, I remember that.

They've been around forever.

Yeah, they were an 80s carryover WASP.

They were kind of a tougher version of Bumblebees.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Of Poison, you know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

The band B-U-M-B-L-E-B-E.

It's very hard to write.

Was there

a Christian rock band that wore Bumblebee out?

Oh, you're thinking of Saturday Night Live.

I'm thinking of Striper.

Striper.

They were Christian, I think, right?

Striper?

Yeah, did they wear stripes?

Or am I thinking of Sting?

Because he wore a sweater once?

He wore a stripey jumper once.

Yeah, I think that's what you're thinking.

Did you ever listen to Old Metal?

Or were you?

No, no, really.

I was so I didn't even get into corn initially.

I was nine when their debut album came out.

Thanksgiving's coming up.

I was telling my kids what we're eating.

They're only into corn.

And you know what?

We're going to play corn the whole time.

Time for you to learn.

If you want only corn for Thanksgiving, we are listening to you.

None of the instrumental stuff, just the scatting.

Yeah, yeah.

And then on Halloween Eve, candy corn.

They got to learn.

But yeah, so I freak on a leash came out.

That was pretty good.

Thanks.

Yep.

Dave, you want to try her?

No, I wouldn't.

We've both done it.

I mean,

well, if you jumped off a bridge, would I do it?

You might.

How are things going?

Things have been...

Sometimes I feel like a freak on a leash.

You should see the microphone.

You look like

everything.

It's also an HR Geiger.

Yeah.

It looks like a hand.

It looks like a hand and an arm.

And I kind of wrote off all those bands, and then I'm surprised whenever someone

talks about Lincoln Park actually being meaningful.

Yeah, sure.

Different times.

Yeah, I mean, while Lincoln Park, for you, especially, you're 20 when Lincoln Park comes out.

I mean, there's no way you're getting into.

It starts with one thing.

I don't know why.

It doesn't even matter how hard you try.

And that's what you want on this pod.

But I'm fine.

Okay, good.

I hope John comes in and wraps Lincoln Park on the show.

Did you dress in the new metal style?

Oh, you bet.

Yeah, what did you have?

What was your go-to?

Well,

I had the very baggy jeans, which the company at the time, so America had Jinkos.

That's sort of the famous one.

I guess Canada probably had Jinkos too, but I had, it was a company called Extreme.

Oh, nice.

Extreme jeans.

Okay.

They made

extremely baggy jeans.

I had a white pair.

I had a black one.

Yes.

And like, wow, that's bold of you having a white pair.

I know.

And then I had baggy, like, I had baggy band shirts.

I also.

I'm trying to come up with a Canadian

pun for Jinko.

Oh, Canada had.

I can't think of a good one, though.

Oh, geez.

What's the guys who used to make a hockey jack?

I went to their flagship store, Jinko Quitlam.

That's all right.

That's close.

It's not great.

It's not great, but that was the first thing that came out.

You bought it at the hockey Rinko.

That's pretty good.

Rinkos.

I was getting there.

Yeah, Rinkos.

That was when you actually wore them to play hockey.

Yeah.

You had the baggy hockey.

Yeah, remember that year that

the flyers and the whalers wore Jinkos?

Yeah.

Disastrous.

Yeah, that was, I mean, that look was crazy.

Did you have,

because I feel like this was a big thing with bag baggy one thing.

I don't know why.

Doesn't even matter how hard you try.

There we go.

Keep that in mind.

I designed this rhyme to explain in due time.

Oh, I know.

Okay, Dave, it sounds like Lincoln Park was pretty mad.

We actually don't know anymore, except the part where it goes out the window.

Try to hold on, but you didn't even know.

We stood on it all just to watch you cry.

Where, where, where.

Where, where, where?

You're such a fucking baby.

Get out of here.

Remix.

Baby, remix.

Jason the ruler.

I feel with really baggy jeans, they would eventually get like dragged on the streets and all all the floors and just become absolutely disgusting from the bottom up.

100%.

And they were always ripped, and you would step on the holes because they'd get like ripped at the bottom.

You'd step on the holes.

Yeah, it wasn't a good time.

And then I also, I couldn't afford to buy that many band shirts.

They were, they were more expensive than just like, you know, my mom buying me a shirt at Zeller's or whatever.

So I remember I bought a corn patch because that was only like three bucks.

Yeah.

And I sewed it to a bucket hat.

Oh, and so I had a corn patch bucket hat that I wore in the summer of

Mr.

9.

You were Mr.

1999.

It was a tough look for sure.

Did you have like a posse?

Do you have a bunch of friends that were also in the island?

No, I was in the gifted program.

I was alone on an island with all these nerds.

I was the only, I wasn't cool, but I was the only guy listening to that music.

Must have been very isolating for you.

It was, and that's, it was sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy with the music.

Which came first, me being lonely or the the music about loneliness?

I'm not sure.

And what's this genius program you're talking about?

Well, I think we don't have to get into that.

I did go to a different school, though.

Like in Ontario, if you were designated as gifted, they made you go to a different school with all the other gifted kids.

Like the X-Men.

Yes, pretty much exactly.

And what was your mutant power?

What was your

well, I knew all the lyrics to Lily Park.

Yeah, freak on a leash.

I could scat on the playground.

um

okay that was good too you guys both have a good uh aptitude for the scatting oh yeah so

scattitude uh yeah uh i guess were you good at math were you

an excellent student were you good at horrible horrible at math good at good at writing yeah yeah good at writing good at english history you've written a book

yeah so that's the word on the street yeah it's all come full circle now let's hear an excerpt from the book yeah uh It starts with

one rock.

It goes down a sheet.

You sweep really hard and it beats.

It's really neat.

Yeah.

That's pretty much how it goes.

Yeah.

So did you, at this book launch, did you read?

I read.

How'd that go?

I fucked up, guys.

I fucked up because I've been to book launches before.

I assume you both have.

I've said I would.

You're like, I replied, maybe, on a Facebook.

I go, I buy the book and I leave.

Yeah, that's fair.

So

I've been to some before where the reading always feels interminably long.

Doesn't matter how long you're reading for, you're like, is this adult really reading to me right now?

So I really went in with a clear vision and Charlie DeMares was also moderating the thing.

So I told him, I'm like, I'm going short.

I know that gets way too long.

And then I just, I screwed up, guys.

I picked a chapter that was too long and it didn't resolve in a way where I could just kind of roll out halfway through.

I had to stick with it.

I read for too long and I felt bad the whole time.

What's your favorite chapter?

It's probably chapter, I think it's four.

I have a chapter about how people think that they're going to go to the Olympics for curling and they just have absolutely no chance of making it to the Olympics in curling.

And I read an entire chapter explaining to people why they won't make the Olympics.

Why do people think that?

Because it's not like it'll be like, I'll,

it's not like a sport where some kind of like genetic advantage

i mean have you seen curlers lately though they are all pretty jacked yeah i got a poster on my wall of uh

mr gooshu okay nice nice yeah that's a good that's a good poll i was like is graham gonna come up with an actual curler here are we just gonna make up a name that was good though i had uh a poster of sandra schmurler schmurler the curler that was nice i think the olympic sport that you could get into as an older person is gun stuff

gun sport Gun stuff.

Little finger stuff.

What Olympic sport do you do?

I do guns.

I do guns.

I do guns.

It's mostly that.

Well, yeah, because there was the Turkish guy.

Well, there were two.

There was the.

Who got kind of famous?

There were two memes.

There was the Turkish guy who was just like

anyone's dad.

Yeah.

And then there was

someone from Asia.

I want to say Korea.

I want to say that as well.

Yeah.

And I think a woman who had like tiny glasses and James Bondian.

It was very, yeah, James Bond sniper villain.

Yeah, totally.

So, yeah, I think it's just like curling is very hard to get good at.

But with these new brooms, it's as easy as

they've been banned.

They've been banned.

Oh, I didn't hear the end of the.

God, no.

This is an episode one.

I heard that.

No, I heard they were having some kind of a

sweeper summit.

I mean, you probably worked on the pod, didn't you?

You think I would have.

Okay, but no.

I was not.

You didn't do any editing or anything.

I specifically asked

John Cullen.

I don't really like that.

It's not even that.

I just, how do I make this interesting?

Dave's like, no, I always

at that point, I was not even in the office anymore.

So it was like,

I had my projects.

I think I listened to a couple episodes to give notes.

But

this is good.

Yeah.

Yeah, it sounds good.

So that's why we ran into a huge snag on episode three.

Yeah.

We got the shumka cut.

So then, besides becoming an author, you've also become like a commentator guy.

I commentate curling, yeah.

Do you wear a special curling sports coat when you're narrating?

No, but we have actually talked about that doing like the old hockey night in Canada.

Yeah.

They had the baby blues with the patch.

We've talked about doing something like that for curling.

We think it would be pretty funny.

Is this on TSN?

No, I commentate for this, for a streaming service, actually.

Is it netflix it is it's it's netflix it's us and jake paul we got it on the same contract

god bless that guy i know kind of crazy he's really just he's it's sort of rising tide lifts all boats situation yeah so i uh yeah so we i work for the grand slams we have our own streaming service called The Rock Channel.

I was going to make fun of those trying to come up with a streaming service.

It's literally just called the Rock Channel.

Yeah.

And so I stream or I do do commentary for this.

I've been enough streaming services to like go on Tubi.

No.

Pluto.

We tried to get that show me deal.

Turns out that's just shut down seven years ago.

Could have been on Hey You, Quibby.

Yeah, Quibby.

You got your Rokus.

Yeah.

It could be.

True.

That would have been.

There we go.

That's it right there.

Got it.

So you

is it.

How, like, how often do you commentate?

Is there like stuff constantly going on?

Tournaments are a a week long.

Okay.

We do five of them.

So I go from Sunday to Sunday.

Like next week, as we're recording this, I go to Niskiu, Alberta, which is just outside of Edmonton.

Okay.

And we're doing a tournament there.

And so I'll do two or three games a day for the whole week.

Okay.

So listeners, this is like this is this will be out when you're there.

Yeah.

So

download, you can use code SPY to get a free trial on the Rock

streaming app.

Yeah.

And that's Rock RCK.

There's no.

Yes.

It's 2025, baby.

Vowels are out.

They're out.

They're out.

And it's RCK all capitals.

Yeah, definitely.

But what is it really?

It is actually rock channel, just spelled normal, and it's free already.

No need for a code spy.

Okay.

Yeah.

Well, you know, put it in there.

But put it in there.

Yeah, yeah, put it in there.

We haven't had a code in years.

Yeah.

You also get a mattress.

You get a mattress as well as the rock channel.

Those are are the days.

When you enter in code spy.

What do we do?

Squarespace we did.

Stamps.com, you guys definitely.

Zip Recruiter.

We did tons of Squarespace and Zip Recruiter.

Yeah.

And

we did Sherry's Berries once.

We did the luggage.

We did.

Yeah.

Oh, did you get a free?

We still use it.

Oh, good.

I have an away luggage, but I paid for it like an idiot.

How much was it?

Too much.

Too much.

Yeah, I got it for nothing.

We did get a Casper mattress for free.

That is amazing.

And we only did them like twice.

Yeah.

Did you like, do you?

We didn't need one at the time, but Alicia Tobin got it.

Okay.

Okay.

She had it for a while.

That's really good.

We had this similar with Block Party.

We did a couple where we did one ad and they gave us way more free product than should be normal for that.

For a mattress company?

No, we didn't do mattress.

We weren't big.

We were not big enough for mattress money, boys, but we did with shorts.

We did shorts, bird dogs.

Oh, bird dog shorts.

Yeah.

You still wear them?

No.

But they sent us a bunch, and then we did athletic greens.

Did you guys do that?

Oh, no, yeah.

for your time?

Yeah, we stopped doing ads five years ago.

Yeah.

Okay.

And then Dylan went electric.

Yeah.

What was the other?

Oh, we did fresh prep or

hello fresh.

Hello fresh.

And that was fine.

Those meal delivery thing.

Have you ever done one?

I have not.

I've heard too many horror stories about the food poisoning that tends to come afterwards.

Did you guys get free ones?

Did you use it?

Did you like it?

I found it to be.

It was a lot of work.

It's a lot of like they the they measure it out by the way uh if you

if you're gonna get some hello fresh news

dirty little secret of podcast advertising the products all suck

um

but no i think hello fresh my problem was so much waste they'd measure out the food so there's no waste but then you get these like freezer packs and plastic and they got to keep the food frozen and uh but i like cooking and i like sure thinking of food to make and like finding recipes and if you don't like that then this is probably a great thing for you because they come up with everything for you yeah it's just the one that we had like had risotto in it like risotto takes a lot of attention yeah um

tell you know watching uh hell's kitchen reruns on heroku boy they fuck up that risotto every time every time you got to keep it moving you got to keep it moving it has to be kept moving and it can't be too liquidy.

That's the other thing.

Nope.

It's like the bus from speed.

It has to be kept moving.

Or it floats.

Yeah, or it's too liquidy.

Or it gets too liquidy.

Yeah.

You can't sweat too much on the bus from speed or

trouble.

You'll die.

Did you guys like speed?

Never watched it.

Really?

Wow.

It's like Die Hard on a Bus.

Yeah.

Never watched Die Hard.

And the Introduction to the World of Miss Sandra Bullock.

I think the only Sandra Bullock movie I've ever seen is Miss Congeniality.

Well, if you've got to pick one, it's pretty good.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think.

I think she was in.

Was she not in

that?

No, the one before that.

The one she came from like the...

Oh, the net?

No.

Is it a Sylvester Stallone, Wesley Snipes?

Oh, Devolution Man.

Is she in that?

She is in that.

Yeah, I think that was before.

And it...

Have you ever seen Devolution Man?

No.

Damn it.

I don't watch a lot of movies.

No, clearly.

What do you watch?

What's the movie guy?

TV.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Was the last movie?

And the Rock Channel and the Rock Channel.

The last movie I saw was

I went to the theaters to see a movie, which is very rare for me.

I guess was it, I think I went to see Friendship,

the Tim Robinson Paul Rudd vehicle.

Did you love it?

No.

Yeah.

It was fine.

Yeah, it was fine.

It was fine.

I think, yeah, my audience was raring for it to be

a 90-minute sketch.

Yes.

And it definitely was not that.

And I think part of the problem for me was I saw people whose taste I would respect be like, this is the funniest movie I've ever seen.

And I was like, hmm,

I've seen funnier.

Yeah.

I saw Jackass in theaters.

I mean, you can't.

Jackass in theater was amazing.

You can't top that.

Especially when you're 13.

Yeah.

I was 17, probably, I guess, or 18, but oh my God.

What a film.

When I saw Napoleon Dynamite, it was in a packed theater.

People were losing their mind because what the fuck were we watching?

What is this thing?

Good point.

I didn't see that in theaters.

The ones that stick out for me are Jackass and Super Bad.

I saw Super Bad in theaters, and that was also like when you see it in a packed theaters.

It feels like those days are gone, boys.

They are.

Well,

I went to The Naked Gun this summer.

Oh, I think The Naked Gun 2.

That actually is naked.

They've already made two?

They've made four, Dave.

I went to that also.

And okay, so that's actually probably the more recent one I went to.

That came out after Friendship, I think.

Yeah.

And that, yeah, that was fun.

But my theater wasn't packed.

Wow, this guy's like Mary Lou Henner.

He remembers that that movie came out after that movie.

You know the Mary Lou Henner reference?

Oh, she's an actress on

Taxi.

And she says she remembers everything from her whole life.

Oh, okay.

Every date.

She's got a

diary memory.

Like, honestly, I don't remember what I did yesterday.

I mean, I could look at my calendar and be like, oh, yeah, yeah.

Wasn't there also a gymnast named Mary Lou Renner?

I feel like I'm getting very confused.

Well, you're thinking of Mary Lou Retton.

Retton.

That's what I'm thinking.

I knew you'd.

Spelled differently.

Yeah, definitely.

Well, no, Mary Lou was even spelled differently.

Yes, that was, she had a weird sound.

Jeremy Renner

got hit by a snowplow.

Yeah.

I tried to watch

back in the day, he was in a movie called Dahmer.

Yes.

And I tried to watch it.

I got like five minutes in.

I was like, this is awful.

Like, why would anybody subject him?

Was he Jeffrey Dahmer?

He's Jeffrey Dahmer.

Oh, wow.

Jeremy Renner is Jeffrey Dahmer.

Yeah.

Jeremy Renner is Jeffrey Dahner.

This spring.

This spring.

I only think of Jeremy Renner also because my friend Stefan shut down his app very famously.

Oh, Stefan Hagger.

Stefan Hagger, past guest of the show.

Jeremy Renner had, like, he was trying to do this like Instagram knockoff app, but he was the only account.

And he would, so he would post photos of himself on this app, and then it had a place where you could comment.

And so Stefan and a bunch of his friends went onto the app and he did a post that was like, what are you up to this weekend?

And they said, I'm going to be spending my weekend watching porno.

And then a bunch of people commented that.

And then he just ended up like, so then that started this.

Stefan's kind of a rascal.

He is a bit of a rascal.

Yeah.

And so they started this like chain reaction of people jumping on the app and just like getting in the comments and they ended up shutting down the app.

And didn't he, wasn't there something with a car and his musical well, no, he did a Jeep ad.

Yes.

It was a Jeep, yeah.

And he was like,

but did the Jeep come with his entire album or something like that?

I remember.

I feel like there's some really stupid thing like that.

This limited edition Jeep is a CD player.

You can't eject the CD, though.

It's molded.

You can take the doors off of the Jeep.

You just can't take this CD out.

I forgot he does really bad music as well.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's cool.

I don't think that's fair.

Yeah.

He's just following his muse list.

Yeah.

Would you, if you, if you're given free tickets, would you go and see Kevin Bacon and the Bacon Brothers?

Boy, I feel like, no.

No?

No.

How far is it from me?

I don't even.

Half hour?

No, champ.

I don't even go to concerts where I like the band and I've already bought tickets.

I talk myself out of it.

You're one of those guys.

Day of.

I'm like, oh, boy.

And do you try to sell them or you just go, whatever?

Yeah, I've sold them.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah.

Sometimes it's like, well, who's going to want this thing to even sell out?

Yeah.

This is more.

This is my equivalent.

Nobody wants to go to the Bacon Brothers.

This is my equivalent of going to a book lunch, buying the book and leaving.

I'm just, I'm just, yeah, I'm supporting the band by buying a ticket.

Okay, how about this?

Would you rather watch the Bacon Brothers or

the son and daughter from Gene Simmons doing a jazz?

Nick and Sophie Simmons.

Doing their jazz

project.

Or,

you know, it doesn't exist now, but back in the day, Bruce Willis' Bruno character that played blues and harmonica.

Boy, yeah, those are three.

Those are three things.

I don't like

jazz.

Okay, so that's out.

The Simmons are out.

I guess I don't like blues.

The Bruno shit is crazy.

I hadn't seen it until recently, and it is horrible.

I got

the album at home.

I got it on vinyl.

But you can't believe they made vinyl.

Like, I can.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But you didn't.

You haven't seen Die Hard, so you don't know.

No, you don't know.

You don't even know who he is.

You only know him as a musician.

I only know him from Unbreakable.

Yeah, which is, I enjoy it.

It's good.

I've seen Armageddon too.

That might be the only one.

You made another one?

Bitch.

It's Armageddon 2, T-O-O.

You know, like Lucas talking to.

And

the asteroid has sunglasses on.

I like the idea that it's a second Armageddon, so it's like reversing the premise of the first one as well.

Like, oh, the first one, actually, no, the asteroid did hit the Earth.

Or we have to go to the Earth because it's going to run into the asteroid.

Yeah, the Earth is about to go to the asteroid.

So we need to get some oil drillers.

Oh, that's a classic.

Yeah.

I actually have, oh, no, I have seen Armageddon.

Yeah, I saw it on the strength of I Don't Want to Miss a Thing.

Yeah.

I don't want to close my eyes.

I saw it on the strength of

Ben Affleck doing the animal crackers.

Doing Animal Crackers on Liv Tyler's belly button.

Yeah, and who's Among Us guys?

I mean, am I right?

What's that?

Wouldn't want to do an animal cracker on Liv Tyler's belly button.

I would snore one off her belly button.

Not even crushed up or anything.

That's the opening scene of Armageddon 2.

That would be very funny if you had one of those sushi women, but it was just like cookies and crackers.

Yeah.

And like charcuterie, charcuterie woman.

Yeah.

Or like, just like a crude day.

Yeah, just like an adult who just never got into like adult food.

Can you do chicken fingers and fries in a woman's back, please?

I would love that.

Do you guys do that?

Do you put the dips right on the back or do you put them in a ramekin before you put that on the back?

I don't understand the appeal of that at all.

The sushi thing off of a human.

Seems disgusting.

Yeah, I think the...

I think the appeal is obvious.

Yeah, the appeal is.

I'm not saying it would appeal to me, but I think the appeal I understand.

Oh, it's like

I can objectify a pill.

That's true.

Oh, you're a tray.

Yeah.

We're not serving ribs, though.

Those are going to go everywhere.

But we'll serve.

We'll eat off your ribs.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's exactly.

We'll eat ribs off your ribs.

Yeah, we have a selection of pie fillings.

No crust.

What about this?

You go to like a buffet, and it's got pie, you got pie crust, and then you put in your own filling.

Like you mix fillings, or you can go back, you can have sour cherry.

And then you have to make them?

No, they all, but it's all like, it's all warm, and then you're just putting it on the crust.

And maybe there's also a lattice station that you could put.

Yeah, sure.

I think it would be good if it was like...

You could freestyle, like you could do the cookie crust.

Like you have a selection of crusts because the cookie crust is unbelievable.

Yeah.

So if I could have like a sour cherry filling on a cookie crust.

crust, oh, basically.

Are you a cheesecake person?

I love cheesecake, yeah.

Have you been to the factory of them?

I've heard of it.

No, I have been.

Yeah.

And I've never been.

Is it good?

I'll say this.

How many pages do you like your menu to be?

15 minimum.

Well, then you would love the cheesecake factory.

Gordon Ramsey gets really mad about it.

He says you should only specialize in one or two things.

Yeah, I went to a book reading at a curling place last night, and the person was reading the

Cheesecake Factory.

It took forever.

chapter four here's why you'll never be a cheesecake it is also funny that it's called the cheesecake factory you would think they wouldn't go so hard to make a bunch of other stuff right like it's in the name you're specializing in the cheesecake why are we

why does why is the menu a hundred items it rocks though i i actually don't i like the cheesecake factory and i i don't really like cheesecake but i oh really okay they have this big display case of like 50 cheesecakes yes And you can kind of be like, well, I'm not into cheesecake, but that one looks like it's mostly made out of Oreos.

Yeah, I'll get that one.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think maybe I only had cheesecake once or twice in my entire life.

Really?

Yeah.

Oh, because you because of gluten?

No.

Because you're allergic to the Golden Girls?

Yeah, I'm allergic.

Do you ever watch the Golden Girls?

No.

They always ate cheesecake.

Well, he doesn't like TV.

He's more of a movie.

Oh, did you see Golden Girls in the movie?

You're Armageddon's one, two,

three.

What's the closest to a Gordon or Golden Golden Girl?

Gordon Girls?

Gordon Girls?

Like, who, if you like Golden Girls?

This risotto is horrible.

Oh, the movie equivalent?

Yeah, what?

Brady for Brady.

Yeah.

That's it.

Perfect.

Calendar Girls.

Yeah, Calendar Girls.

I randomly reviewed that for a website.

Really?

Yeah, I have a DVD of Calendar Girls.

Why did you review it?

That's a great question.

Yeah.

They sent it to me.

What was this website?

Was it?

I wrote for a pop culture website.

What was Calendar Girls?

It was about the first charity calendar that people were nude in.

British?

It was.

Helen Marin isn't in it.

Volmonty.

Volmonty, but calendar.

And it's, yeah, it was like these old ladies who are trying to save their garden club.

Yeah, it's like Volmonte, but with whatever, what's the British slang for

birds with birds?

No, I mean, but like

they're showing the showing, yeah, they're showing their minge.

They're showing ming.

They're showing fannies.

Fannies, yeah.

Was there a movie called Calendar Girl about

Jason Priestley chasing down Marilyn Monroe?

Yes.

Like, cool.

Everybody on the cast got like a chance to make a movie.

And I feel like Luke Perry's was.

Eight seconds.

Seconds.

Shannon Doherty was maybe in a vampire.

Yes.

She was, wasn't she?

Charmed?

Was she in charge?

She was in charm, but that was the movie.

Yeah.

And then Jenny Garth didn't make a movie.

No.

I and Ziri made Sharknado.

He got his chance 30 years later.

She was the cutest one to me, that Jenny Garth.

Jenny Garth.

My locker partner in junior high insisted on putting up Tori Spelling in our locker.

And I was like, she never got a movie.

She got a place of honor in my locker.

Tell me about your locker partner.

His name is Eric.

He decorated the locker first day.

Like he came.

No, his name is Shane, rather.

And

he came with already prepared posters that were taken out of like Wisconsin Beat magazine.

Yeah.

And so it was going to be a 902 and oh locker, but really

Tori Spelling, the star of the locker.

I had a

my locker was decorated with an autographed picture of Corky and the juice pigs.

Nice.

Nice.

Corky himself?

Well, Sean Cullen.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

My uncle.

Is he?

No.

Sean Curlin.

Yep.

You got it.

And then

I believe in 19, oh boy, when I was in grade eight, we flew through Los Angeles airport and they had Laugh Factory magazine.

Oh, hell yeah.

And it had Tim Allen on the cover.

And I was like, I'm getting this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Cut so many things out of it and put it in my locker.

I remember one was.

like a top 10 list of reasons to quit drinking coffee and one of them was jet black urine.

That's pretty good.

Yeah.

Yeah, I feel like like in my household, we had like a book of top tens from The Letterman Show.

They're funny.

They're funny with or without him.

They're just solid writing.

It was like

you would have to pace yourself.

Like, there's going to be a couple in here that, because you can't get laughs the whole way through.

This is a one-minute segment.

But so there would be some throwaway ones in there.

Yeah.

Well, show business, man, you know?

I know.

Dave, what's going on with you, my friend?

Oh, my God.

What is going on with me?

Well,

oh, I just wanted to let people know that this podcast now has a Discord.

Oh, yeah.

We're on the Discord now.

Oh, welcome to the 21st century.

Yeah, we're sewing Discord.

Yeah, I've gone, I've made two posts on it.

I don't know what it is.

I don't understand how it works.

Quite frankly, I don't like it.

People have explained it to me as like...

Facebook, if you make a post on Facebook, it's like, I'm making a post.

Now everyone who wants to talk about this thing has to reply to my post.

Right.

And this is Discord, is more like, hey, here's what's happening.

And I'm just, you can say a thing,

and you don't have to be like the center of attention.

Yeah.

I got to say, though, when I posted my first post, I don't feel like I got enough attention.

Really?

Yeah.

And that was your, was that your first ever Discord post?

First ever.

Wow.

Yeah.

And it just kind of bombed you guys.

Oh, what'd you say?

Oh, this is crazy.

Top 10 list I put together.

Turns out I did all the ones that get no laughs.

They assembled them for all sorts of things.

People have been posting like,

you know, a daily question,

like, what's your favorite animal?

Oh, sure.

That kind of thing.

Just conversations.

Everybody round the horn?

Favorite animals?

Go.

Oh, dogs.

Dogs.

Lemur.

Orangutan.

Yeah.

Nice.

I think today's question was, what are you a nerd about?

Uh-huh.

Speed.

Curling.

And I'm

a jock.

You're a jock, that's right.

I'm not a nerd.

I push kids into a lot of people.

You are kind of like a low-key jock, eh?

I am kind of a low-key jock.

Yeah.

I like that.

That's what people say about me as well.

But I feel like I'm outwardly more jockey than you.

Oh,

wow.

Yikes.

Things just got wild.

Okay, I'm outwardly more jockey, but inwardly I'm nerdier.

Well, there's a

I guess there's a million versions of John, and he thinks the one we see is the John.

Anyway, so join our Discord.

I think I can put a link in the...

You know what?

It's discord.com slash 4782.

No, I'll put a link in the show notes.

Yeah, and just leave it on.

Just forget to turn it off on your computer and then in the middle of the night have a go, boop, boop.

Remember to do that.

Turn off notifications as loud as you can.

Turn them all on.

Yeah.

Yeah, Dave, unfortunately, you already messed it up because it's discord.gg.

Okay.

That's in like good game, you know, because it's a video game.

And you know that because you're a jock.

Yeah.

Outwardly.

Outwardly.

Yeah.

Inwardly, very sensitive.

Well,

you have a long drive home, I had you.

Why did I say that?

I think Dave hates me.

No, John, I love you.

Oh, thank you, Dave.

I like you.

Yeah.

I don't know you well enough to love you.

That would, yeah, I don't know.

Let it grow, though.

What?

Let it grow.

We talked about some of your podcasts.

How many are there?

There's Broomgate.

Broomgate's come to an end.

It's done.

Blocked Party ended.

Is coming back?

No, we're only doing bonus episodes.

Okay.

It's a Patreon-only show now.

Blocked Party.

Blocked Party, yes.

You do the What is a Jeopardy podcast?

I do that as well.

You do the Corn metal podcast.

P-O-D-Cast.

P-O-D-Cast.

Yep.

Is there more?

I also have a curling like news and interview podcast called the Broom Brothers.

Who's the other brother?

His name's Robbie Doherty.

He's a fellow commentator.

Okay.

Fun.

Too many pods.

But that's why I'm familiar with Discord because all my pods have Discords.

You have to spend time on that.

You got to do it

nowadays.

I know.

You got to press the flesh.

You got to press the flesh.

You got to say, what's your favorite animal?

I'm not a fucking nerd.

You know, shit like shit.

I'm an inward nerd.

I'm an inward nerd, but outward, I'm a jock, and I don't have time to answer your stupid little fucking question.

Yeah.

Here's a jock thing.

Hey.

Are you allowed to sing that anymore?

Are you allowed to sing that song anymore?

Bad sports.

Yeah.

Yeah, okay.

Or Joker.

Discord.gg, Gary Glitter.

This summer, I had a muscle issue.

Yes.

An issue in my leg.

And

I went to the physiotherapist and they gave me some exercises to do.

And they also said, hey, if you have a Theragun,

you can also massage this here.

And I was like, oh, that's great, but I don't.

And they're so expensive.

And then I was telling this to my dad, and he was like, oh, I have a Theragun.

You can borrow it.

And I borrowed it.

Guys, I'm addicted to a Theragun.

I also have a Theragun.

I also have a Theragun.

It's not the The one I borrowed is not a Theragun.

Brand.

Oh, because it's on brand.

Mine is the Theragun.

Mine's a Renfo.

Renfo.

Nice.

It's Renfo.

And it's,

we're talking about massage guns for the listeners.

Yeah, it's like, this is an industrial.

This is like, it can really get in.

Oh, yeah.

Mine came with a bunch of attachments.

Yep.

Mostly dildos.

Oh, yeah.

But that's supposed to be good for the muscle, the flipping and the flopping.

But

I've never used any of the attachments.

They look they're hard plastic, and the one the standard is just like a foam ball.

Oh, mine's like a rub, like a

foam ball, kind of.

Yeah, my attachments, I would say, are all sort of like foam, foam-y.

Foam-ish.

Foam-y.

Maybe neoprene.

It could be neoprene.

Yeah, neoprene.

Probably.

What setting do you do?

Like, mine goes from 1 to 20.

I don't know what.

Oh, wow.

Well,

it's a different scale on the Renfo.

Well, where are you going one to 20?

I mean, tell us that.

I'll go to like 10.

Okay.

And then for the last few seconds, I'll go to 20 and go, whoa!

Like, it totally will numb your whole

whatever.

But it's a fun thing to do.

It's so fun.

Yeah.

And do you think it's helping?

Yeah.

Yeah.

They're really good.

Because I,

hockey season's starting up.

Uh-huh.

And I've got,

boy, like, you're not used to the hip muscles that that you need to play and I do some yoga but I'd rather just pound my hips with a gun I feel like those had existed when I was young it would have been my brothers and I attacking each other with the Theragun I feel like pinning down somebody and doing Theragun

speaking of jackass, they would like sneak up on someone with a razor or a

clipper and shave their head from behind.

I feel like you would do that with a Theragun.

Yeah, just right on the back of their neck, like where their neck meets their skull.

Give them the Vulcan neck thing and they

collapse.

How can they do that anymore in movies?

It used to be the judo chop to the neck, and then the guy would just fall over dead.

I think Awesome Powers wrecked it, right?

Because they made fun of it.

Speaking of movies where everyone was laughing in the theater.

Oh, one of the great

ones.

Experiences.

Agreed.

But yeah, I do

think of that in movies of like

to knock someone out and do the perfect amount of knockout that doesn't kill them and that only knocks them out for

well, we need them knocked out for 45 minutes.

They wake up in a room.

I think I talked about on this podcast that they had a gag in Austin Powers that they cut out every time that they killed like a henchman.

You would see this house and you'd see the wife answering the phone and then being like, I'm very sorry to report this, but your husband is not going to be coming home this evening.

And that they would do that after every guy gets killed.

That's really good.

Yeah.

Should have kept it in.

Yeah.

Yeah, even if they did it once, it would have been hilarious.

That's so good.

I did see some

deleted scenes from Austin Powers.

And there was one

where a lot of vagina

at the very end,

she said she got tired of people making fun of her name.

So she changed her name to Sandy Fagina.

that's good

uh so

are your uh are your daughters trying the theragon no is your wife trying the theragon is this only dad does theraagun abby's tried it abby likes it yeah we're old we have old creaky bones yeah yeah well so are you just just the leg or are you working the whole system uh i've done legs

but the whole leg yeah everywhere from top to bottom the calf oh once you get it on that calf yeah that's yeah that's where the original thing, the

physiotherapist was pointing out.

Yeah.

Go calf.

Now I want to go.

That's what I'm going to do as soon as I get home.

Do a little theragon.

Got it up?

Yeah.

Do you have like, did you get it because you have a trouble area or you just saw that?

Sally got it because of

she had hip.

Okay.

And also she broke her foot, so I needed to help make it.

That helps broken bones, I've heard.

Yeah.

Just

put it right on there and go to town.

Who needs a calf?

Yeah.

But yeah,

it's like they're triangles.

Yes, right.

Yeah, okay.

That's the one I have.

Oh, yeah.

Mine's a gun.

Really?

Yeah.

Like a magic?

What setting do you put it on?

What does it mean?

It doesn't have a number on it.

Yeah, you just kind of light up and down.

It's got five lights.

I feel like it's probably three pushes per light.

Like maybe it's one to 15.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

So I'm probably go.

I usually go to like the third light.

Do you start with one?

I do start with one.

I don't know why.

It doesn't even matter if it's on my thigh.

Nice.

Thank you.

Theragun.

Honestly, the way Mike Shinoda is going wouldn't shock me to hear a Lincoln Parker rewrite in a Theragun.

They have a new, they have a new one.

They have a new singer.

Yeah.

Oh, really?

Scientologist who supported.

Look, we don't need to know.

Can you sing?

I don't want all the gospels.

I don't want to hear about it, Dave Mustaine, about how much you love Scientology.

Yeah.

Yeah.

New drummer for Rush.

I don't want to know anything about this person.

Yeah.

Can she play the hits?

Okay, sorry, Dave.

So you've been Theragunning all over the place.

Theraving getting, I'm, you know, tempted.

Yeah.

To hurt myself.

To hurt my private part.

That's, you know, that's like the first thing you're like, huh?

Nope.

If you put it on full and put it on the floor, it'd probably sip around, right?

Oh, yeah.

We should race, though.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'll bring over my Theragun next week.

See See if they go off any jumps.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Because if you did, if you got it going fast, oh, you can get it off a jump for sure.

Yeah.

How often do you have to charge it?

I haven't charged mine once in months.

Oh, not that often.

Not that often, though.

I don't use it often.

No, me neither.

Liar.

Well, no, when I need it, I use it.

But do you do a little extra?

Maybe

wake up the thighs a little bit?

I would say I use it five minutes a week.

Okay.

So not

a ton.

Yeah.

You?

I got into a zone.

Well, I don't, it's only if I'm sore, but I for a while I got into a zone where I was using it before athletics as well, Dave.

I don't know if you've tried that out, but now that you have hockey season, it actually helps to like do it before too.

So, you do it before, then you go play, then the next day you're sore, you do it again.

What I do is if I have a game, I'm like, and I'm achy before I'll stretch.

And if I still hurt, then I go.

Okay, then you run.

Yeah, then what's the last stop?

Ice, what do you do?

Icy hot?

No, I do.

I do take an ibuprofen at the start of every game.

Really?

In that mode, hey?

Yeah.

Thankfully, I'm not going to do that.

I feel like I do the same thing whenever I have a drink.

So I just like.

This is forward thinking.

I know my head's going to hurt later.

Yeah.

And you're going home, you're taking your ibuprofen.

You're there gunning the form.

Exactly.

This helps me with my ovary.

Exactly.

Anyway, that's what's going on with my body.

Love that.

Today's question on Discord.

What's going on with your body?

Yeah, what's going on with your body?

Or what the hell's going on with your body yeah um a little um on the discord there's a channel for overheards and there's a channel for bumper stumpers some people are putting their bumper stumpers in the overheards it's a chaos can can i say if you haven't overheard mail it in because you know what i'm running out so don't put them on the goddamn discord where i can't use them send them to spy at maximify.org

I can't stress this enough how many I need.

I need these very badly.

You'll find out later in the episode how low we're.

I think I've grabbed the last good three and we're taping two episodes next week.

Uh-oh.

Send them in.

Yeah, send them in.

It's the right thing to do.

Yeah.

What's going on with you?

I had put it off for a while, but

I saw at home the movie 28 Years Later.

Are you a fan of this franchise?

Don't ask Johnny's not a movie guy.

That's right.

He doesn't like movies.

Is that the third one?

Yeah.

Because there's 28 days later, 29 days later.

28 weeks later.

Oh, and then now it's years.

Yeah.

Oh, God.

They skip months.

They never did months?

Yes, they didn't do months.

Did they do fortnights?

Yep.

They did a fortnight dance.

Yeah.

I just did one.

It was really good.

That was good.

That was good.

If you've never heard of the series, you've never heard of the series.

So let me tell you.

Very, very song-heavy episode.

Oh, Oh, yeah.

We like to crowd up the hit.

Yeah, why not?

But if you don't know it,

it's like a zombie movie.

The only difference being that the zombies run.

Yeah, it's like a zombie movie, but it's a zombie movie.

It's a zombie movie.

But that was the revolutionary thing is they run.

They're infected with rage.

Yeah, and they, and then spoiler alert coming.

If you don't want to get any spoilers about it, stop listening, yao.

Jog ahead 10 minutes.

10 minutes, guys.

By the way,

you're spoiling this for John and me,

and

we'll allow it.

Okay, thank you.

La la la la la la.

So, the thing that you find out at the end of the first one is that it's only happening in English.

They just wanted attention.

That's right.

They were running around and not watching where they're going.

That's why they ended up so gross.

It's exclusively on pool decks, and they were not looking where they were going.

They were said very specifically: no running, no horse, no raging.

But the first one, great.

So it was only happening in England.

That was the reveal that it wasn't worldwide, but not even Scotland?

No, it's not.

What about Wales?

Do they make it through the Wales?

Whatever's the main chunk.

And then they get.

Scotland and Wales are on the main chunk.

Everybody gets sequestered.

So nobody else in the world can come.

Nobody can go.

Everybody is in Rageville.

Rageville, Tennessee is what they nicknamed it.

Did Ireland unite during this time?

Yep.

Well, that's why Scotland got out of the Brexit.

They were like, you know what?

We're voting to stay away from the rage, guys.

We want

good luck.

Yeah.

They're so fast.

So then the.

And sometimes a drop of blood goes down into your eyeball, and it's.

I think that works, right?

Doesn't that?

It happens in the first one.

Oh, by the way, I'm spoiling the first one.

The first one, Killian Murphy wakes up in a hospital.

He's the first one, rules.

The first one rules.

The second one's not bad.

I've only seen the first one.

The second one's not bad.

The third, though, I got to say, done with zombie movies.

I'm finished.

Oh, some people cross the board.

Yeah.

It was that bad.

You're like, I'm not.

No, it wasn't that it was bad.

I'm just like, this is the same thing they do in every single movie.

It's like the group is, they're just living like medieval people and they've got a compound and they figured out how to use it.

I hear you see dicks in this one.

Yeah, and then one of those, one of those dudes, he's got a lot, like a donkey dick.

It's crazy.

It's so distracting because he's running running and it's flying around.

Do you think it's like a prosthetic?

No,

this guy's.

And that's the thing in the future of these zombies.

Some of them have evolved.

So there's alpha zombies that know they think they have.

Is Donkey Dick and Alpha?

And Donkey Dick's an alpha.

He might be the alpha of the Alphas, truly.

No kidding.

Yeah.

But yeah, I'm done.

Is he presenting himself outwardly as a jock?

He looks like Jason Momoa.

It's not Jason Momoa, but they definitely cast him as a Jason Momoa type.

Okay.

Yeah.

But yeah, this is.

Bring me something new, zombie movies.

Give me, give me a fresh.

Oh, here's a thing that I've never seen in a zombie movie before.

One of the rage zombies is pregnant and gives birth to a regular person.

So that's a new.

I've seen ones where there's a pregnant woman that gives birth to a survey.

Oh, yeah.

And gross.

Yeah.

Do they then devour it?

No, they take away the baby.

And then, as soon as the baby takes away the baby, the powers of the beast.

sort of uh

child welfare child welfare neighbors report to child services

um

but uh yeah it's not that it didn't have any twists in it that i've never seen before just done with the genre although this was the weird thing that happened at the end the very end the movie's done basically and then there's a scene where the main character runs into a gang of zombie killing guys and they kill a bunch of zombies, and that's the end of the movie.

So it's like, were you just setting it up for a sequel?

But all the guys are dressed like disgraced DJ Jimmy Savile?

They're like, oh, God.

And so it's like one of those things, like, well, you could have easily not had that.

Are you going to, how many British pedarasts are you going to mention?

Prince Andrew shows up.

But yeah,

it's really weird.

I like read the reason why it wasn't satisfying to me.

I was like, there's no reason these guys should all be dressed like Jimmy Savile.

Um, but what a way to end the movie with a big question mark.

Like, what?

The end.

You're like, my big takeaways were one guy had a huge donkey dick.

I had a donkey dick.

All these guys looked like Jimmy Savile for an unexplained reason.

Yeah.

Yeah, I don't think you need a takeaway in a zombie movie.

Yeah, but I took away confusion.

What

you're done?

You say you're done with zombie movies.

Do you believe yourself when you say that?

Yeah, because I think this is the first one I've seen.

Like, people were like, oh, I'm watching The Last of Us.

Nope.

Like,

I was out for a long time on The Walking Dead.

And then any

zombie movie I see, it's always

there's a compound or people are

coming across zombies for the first time.

Those are the two versions of zombie movies.

Right.

How do I know you're not a zombie?

Oh,

I'm fine.

I'm running.

I'm running.

You've seen all the other zombie movies.

They walk.

Yeah.

I'm sprinting.

I like it.

That would be a good movie if he had to negotiate with a zombie.

Well, there is that sort of thing of like, oh, he's bitten.

I'm fine.

I'm not bitten.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I think in 28 days later, that's when he gets the drop of zombie blood in his eye.

And within seconds, he's a zombie.

Yeah, it takes seconds in this movie for that to happen.

And you don't get that thing of like, no, I'll be fine for a few hours.

Just let me.

Right, right.

I kind of don't understand what goes on if they're eating the people.

I don't, that's a part that I didn't really, wasn't wasn't clear if they're just eating the whole people or if they're just biting them to get infected and then running away like an insane person.

Not an insane person, a zombie running.

I'm really freaked out by this pregnant zombie.

But that's the weird thing.

While she's giving birth, very human.

The second the baby's out, back to crazy.

Oh, so, well, I mean, I don't know if you've witnessed many labors.

They're pretty zombie-ish.

I'm sorry.

Hey, we're all fine.

Hey, you know what?

Join us on the Discord.

Tell us what your grossest thing is.

But just like, is she getting the proper diet?

Like, well, that's it.

Is she reading what to expect when you're expecting?

She's taking like the vitamin for you.

Is there a zombie doula?

What do you mean?

Ah, zombie doula.

I'm back.

I like that.

I'm back into zombie movies.

I got a twin snapping to get me.

My zombie doula starving Amy Pohler.

Does she get a shot of oxytocin?

Is she going to encapsulate her placenta?

What's happening?

Exactly.

What if the baby's breached?

There's all sorts of things that could go wrong.

No, baby's happy and healthy, lives in the compound.

Do they have to do a Z section?

Zombie.

Yeah, I mean, like, and of course, like, I feel like Sean and the Dead was the end of, that was the last word in zombie movies, as far as I'm concerned.

Great movie.

Great movie.

Fantastic.

Edward Edgar, right?

Yep.

Yep.

He's got a new Running Man movie coming out this year.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starring zombies.

Well, Running Man was the original Arnold Schwartz.

Yeah.

Probably.

Yeah.

Man, oh man.

If I had to guess.

Yeah.

Well, you know what?

All you Schwarzenegger heads out there.

If you had to guess it's Arnie.

Just

some weights now.

Do you guys want to maybe move on to some overheards?

Yar!

Okay.

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The wizards answer eight by eight.

The cornclaves call to demonstrate their arcane gift, their single spell.

They number sixty-four

until a conflagration

sixty-three

and sixty-two they soon shall be, as one by one the wizards die,

till one remains to reign on high.

Join us for Taz Royale, an oops all-wizards battle royale season of the adventure zone every other Thursday on maximumfun.org or wherever you get your podcasts.

Overheard.

Overheard, the segment where we hear the things, then we say the things, and then we just leave satisfied.

And we always like to start with a guest.

John, do you have an overheard?

I do.

This was one in which I was sort of an active participant, but I have, we talked about, I wrote a book, and so I have.

What's it called?

Curling Rock?

Curling Rock's Chronicles of the Roaring Game.

And what's the Dewey Decimal number?

That's a great question.

It's in the 900s because it's a sports book.

It's out October what?

14th.

14th.

Yeah.

Will it be available in the library so I can just read it?

Will the

You do the audiobook?

No, they haven't done an audiobook yet.

I think they want maybe to see if it's going to sell enough copies or something.

I've got Don Cherry to read it.

He's literate, right?

He's just saying baby after every sentence.

He's the guy I think of the most with curly.

I just think it'd be, you know, you'd be able to sell some more copies.

Good point.

Don Cherry.

Yeah, great point.

Great point.

But yeah, so I have two nephews.

They are eight and six.

And sometimes I will get like a random FaceTime from them.

You know, just they're thinking about me.

Something comes up.

Usually it's like video game related or they have to ask me a question.

So I'm just like going about my day in the middle of the day.

I get a FaceTime from my sister's phone number.

So I assume it's probably my nephew's.

Actually, it might have been my parents.

I think they were with my parents at the time.

So I answer the phone.

You get the, you know, close-up of your nephew's face.

Yeah.

I hold the phone right at their face.

And they said, Uncle Johnny, I heard you wrote a book.

And I said, Yes.

And they said, and you wrote a book about curling.

And I said, Yeah.

And they said, You should have written a book about Spider-Man.

He's not wrong.

And then it was sort of like,

and then I kind of said, like, yeah, I probably should have.

And then it was sort of like, okay, bye.

Oh, man.

50 Facts about Spider-Man?

Oh, who doesn't buy that book?

That feels like a scholastic purchase.

Oh, big time.

Big time.

Yeah.

What was your like big scholastic purchase?

Oh, I remember I got in trouble once because my, I had, I had showed my parents, because they did the book fair at my school, the scholastic book fair.

And my parents gave me like $15, but they knew that I wanted to buy about $13 worth of books.

$15.

You were a baller.

I was balling.

I know, balling.

And then I had $2 left, and there was a Jurassic Park book that was $2.25.

And I borrowed a quarter from someone to buy it.

And then I remember my parents were mad because they were like, well, we were expecting you to bring $2 change home.

And I was like, I had $2 and there was a Jurassic Park boat.

You've ruined us.

And your credit score is going to take a hit because you borrowed a quarter.

So that was a big one I remember.

And I also loved the horrible histories.

I don't know if either that might have been past both of your times, but it was.

Oh.

Yeah.

It was the what?

They were history.

They were like a chapter book style.

They had illustrations in them.

And then it was basically like the gross stuff about various periods or locations in history.

So there was like horrible histories, the dark ages.

Then there would be chapters about like what apothecary would think healed people.

They would describe like what happened when you got the black plague in gross detail.

And so that was a later era.

I loved all the horrible histories.

Have you now, Graham's just going to, I'll just let him finish writing the longest text of all time.

No, no, sorry.

I was looking for my overheard.

Sorry, you guys.

But

now in my neighborhood, there's a lot of little libraries.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

There's like

take a book, leave a book.

Take a book, leave a book library.

There's Dave famously, when you go to a book library.

A little free library, I always say, oh, wait, no, wait, what do you say?

Where whatever, whoever's house is.

Oh, yeah, I judge the

homeowner because

they're the one who put up the little library, but they're attracting a lot of wrestling biographies or

Pen Follett books.

Yeah, there was one.

Oh, there's one that was all James Patterson.

Yep.

But I, there's someone who I believe self-published a book and has placed it in all the neighborhood.

Smart.

Yeah, yeah.

And it's called Curling Rock.

Curling Rock.

It's by Jay Colson.

And there's also the Spider-Man one that's

going to keep it on the shelves.

Does your whole family curl?

No.

No, I got into it separate of my family.

My mom curls now.

She took it up about a decade ago.

So she plays in a couple leagues.

But yeah, I'm not sure.

So it is weird that you didn't write a Spider-Man book because the whole family.

Yes, they're definitely into Spider-Man.

Yeah.

100%.

Dave, do you have an overheard?

Yeah, this is at the grocery store.

I was checking out and I saw someone checking out at the

next register, and they were talking to the person, the checkout person, cashier, I think I want to say.

And I guess they had said something about how expensive groceries are.

And then the cashier was a young guy, and he said, Yeah, I heard this joke.

I must be getting stronger.

Now I can carry $100 of groceries with one finger.

Nice.

And the person checking out went, oh,

good.

Don't want to engage too.

Where do you hear that joke?

That's what I was thinking.

That's a grandpa or uncle.

Yeah, you think so.

Yeah, that's traded on Facebook.

Yeah.

Like

one of my uncles said, like, if you got whiskey, it'd be two fingers in the bottom of a barrel was like a measurement.

Anyways, uncle jokes.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, the one I remember, like, if you went to your friend's house, and you knocked on their door and their dad opened the door, he'd be like, I already gave it the office.

Yeah, that's a classic.

And it would, it was so, I didn't get it at the time.

Yeah.

Because you, as a kid, you would need to know that

people come, charities come to the door.

Yeah.

And charities also come to the office.

Yeah.

And now it's still like buy a kid's cookies or whatever.

It still would be at the office.

Like, yeah.

But yeah, there's a funny guy's head office directly.

Yeah.

Leave me alone.

I donated a accordingly.

Leave me alone.

Yeah, you just leave a cookie box on like a stick out in front of you.

Like,

it's fine.

Don't go away.

I already done did it.

Yeah.

What's up with you, Overheard?

Overheard.

Now, people who listen to the podcast may not know, but we release amazing BOCO bonus content if you're a member of Maximum Fund.

And one thing that we do quite a bit is hot topics.

So I wanted a peek behind the curtain with this hot topic was just because the subject of the headline, I chuckled so much.

And it was a headline about, I was trying to get the exact headline, but it won't come up.

It was about a guy who won the lottery and partied too hard for two months.

Like, because, you know, sure, right?

Yeah,

what country was he in?

America.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

That seems Australian.

It does seem Australian, but also American, you know, like if you did a drinking World Cup, great idea, by the way,

who would be the, you feel like it might be Australia or Scotland.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I do feel like every country has that.

Yeah.

Every country has a severe enough problem.

Well, we're Russian, so, you know, we drink a lot.

Yeah, that's a lot of stuff.

We're Irish, you know, we drink a lot.

Oh, we're Italian.

That's true.

It is like,

because Canadians think they drink a lot, but I don't know that we do on a world scale.

Yeah, I wouldn't think on a world world scale.

I think it's really, yeah, you're right, Dave.

The only thing that really changes is

the liquor in question.

Yeah.

You know, an Italian, you might think, oh, they just drink a lot of wine.

Yeah, Chianti.

Chianti.

Irish beer or Russian vodka.

In Greece, they're pounding the oozo.

Oh, yeah, they're all just fucked on ouzo in Greece.

Cuba, they're drinking rum all the time.

Yeah, sure.

100%.

Brazil, they're drinking the little caperinhas.

Nice.

Well, give them another country.

Netherlands.

Oh, geez.

They're drinking.

I don't know what they're drinking, but it's out of clogs, maybe.

South Africa, something that fights malaria.

So, sure.

They're drinking vaccines.

Quinine.

Quinine.

Yeah, there it is.

Now, we also have overheard sent into us by people all over the map.

If you have one, send it into SPY at maxivund.org.

And I cannot stress enough, do not put them on the Discord.

Send them this way.

We're going to be be sundowning that Discord channel.

This first one comes from Krista from Minnesota.

We were at the airport and we heard a man loudly telling a story to someone.

The only part I caught was he put his hand on his thigh and said, Curse you, old man Winter.

And then we laughed for two hours.

You said this indoors, like at the airport?

He's just indoors and curse you, old man winter.

I mean,

for for sure, curse him, right?

Yeah, definitely.

This was in Minnesota.

This is in Minnesota.

Yeah, they don't like winter.

Not a big winter town.

Yeah.

Yeah, Minneapolis.

Well, it's not one town.

It's two.

It's twins.

That's right.

That's right.

Oh, were there zombie twins?

Have they done that yet?

That's a good question.

They got to do that.

You're still in until they do zombie twin movie.

I think that you should, every time you see one of the zombies in the film, you should have to do a quick little bio pop-up video.

Like this person used to be,

this person has a twin who isn't a zombie.

I'm thinking zombie twins, one's regular, one's zombie.

That's good.

That's good.

But then they'd have to be fraternal, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Otherwise, it wouldn't make sense.

Yeah, I like that you said that.

And will you have to make them fraternal?

Yeah.

Isn't it disappointing when you find out someone has a twin?

Yes.

Well, no, but you find out they have a twin and then it's fraternal.

Yeah.

Who cares?

Just have a regular sibling.

Yeah.

100%.

I went to school with fraternal.

They were fraternal and they were boy-girl.

Who even cares at that point?

You're not even the same at all.

No.

They even use the word twin.

That would be great if, like in The Shining, they had fraternal, boy-girl twins.

Come play with us.

I don't want it.

Get over here.

This next one comes from Krista Miller.

I was out of.

Wasn't she on the Drew Carey show?

What is the name of the woman that's on the Drew Carey show?

I want to say Krista Miller.

You don't think.

Was she also on Scrubs?

Yeah, she was also on Scrubs.

I don't want none of those.

That's excellent.

Thank you.

Krista Miller.

That's Krista Miller.

She's on Shrinking.

And isn't she sort of like famously a very mean person?

I hadn't heard that.

Yeah, I don't know.

She dated Jerry on an episode of Seinfeld, I think.

Yes.

She put

a peach bit in her mouth.

Sure.

No, you dated George.

And she was like, looks, they're not important to me.

There's a Krista with a a K.

I was at the pharmacy today waiting for a prescription.

Wait a minute.

Don't we not give last names?

I said K.

I know what Krista Miller.

Oh, I said Krista Miller.

Shit.

Krista M.

So

Graham right now is writing Krista an email to ask if

we'll use your last name so we can keep the Drew carries.

Because we loved that riff.

We needed it.

This one comes from Krista M.

Oh, isn't she famously mean?

I was at the pharmacy today waiting for a prescription when I heard the pharmacist ask a man, which arm do you want your COVID shot in?

To which the man confidently replied, the left.

It lasts longer that way.

Sure.

Yeah, so it feels like a stranger's doing it.

I do it in the right.

Yeah.

I've been sitting on my arm for the last 30 minutes, so put it in there.

I used to do it.

My first COVID shot, I got in the left, and it hurt so much.

And I remembered, oh, I don't,

I don't write with my right hand.

I don't, I hardly need my right hand for yeah, right, but I sleep on my left.

Yeah, yeah,

um, I hear you.

Interesting fact about me.

This one, last one comes from Casey Miller in Minnesota.

It's an all, it's an all of Minnesota.

All Miller, all Minnesota.

Uh, we have been temporarily living living with an extended or with extended family for the past few months.

And my four-year-old niece has been having a really great time living with the two kids, especially my eight-year-old son.

He's been spending a lot of time with her, helping to do video games, Lego, et cetera.

About a week ago, when we all sat down to eat,

my niece insisted on sitting down next to my son.

And when she got her way, announced loudly to the table, I love Dean.

And my son did not know how to respond to this and ended up saying, I'm just eating.

Man,

that is the best when a cousin idolizes an older cousin.

I'm just eating.

Yeah, definitely.

Yeah, I had that older cousin.

I was like, she's so fucking cool.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

We all had that.

Yeah, cousin Krista from the Drew Carey show, kind of mean.

Famously me.

And what was her last name?

Well, in addition, do you need to go?

No, we're good.

We're good.

Okay.

Let's roll.

In addition to overheards that are written, and we also accept your phone calls if you want to call us or send us a voice memo even.

The voice memo way to do it is email your voice memo to spy at maximumfund.org.

You probably have a voice memo app on your phone.

And call us 1-844-779-7631.

That's one.

Ugh.

SpyPod 1 like these people have.

Hi, Dave Graham et al.

This is Allison from upstate New York, and I have a Trader Joe's edition overheard.

I was listening to two employees show each other pictures of their cats talking about said cats and one employee said to the other, yeah when I got adopted her from her birth mom

or no

dang it.

I was hoping it was going that way.

What I love about that one is normally someone calls in and they screw it up and they call back.

Well, this was a voicemail.

She didn't have to send it.

That's true.

And you know what?

She never sent another.

So do you think she sent a wrong one?

Did she re-record it, but then sent the one that she screwed up?

Do I have a theory on this?

No, I do not.

Okay.

If you do, go on the Discord of your own channel.

Theories.

Spy theories.

Next one.

Hey, Dave Graham and possible guest.

How's it going?

This is Nick in Phoenix, Arizona.

Just voice memoing in an overseen of the bumper sticker variety.

Driving into work today, there was a truck that had a bumper sticker that was like full size on the back window, like from top to bottom.

One of those baby on board things, but instead it said,

no baby on board.

I only do anal.

Boy, that didn't disappoint.

Bumper stickers are really getting filthy.

Yeah, but imagine that on your car.

Yeah.

That's crazy.

It's weird, too, when you see somebody wearing a shirt that has swear words on it or like has something like an adult.

Yeah, an adult.

You know, I get it.

you're a teen or like even in college, maybe, but yeah, you see like a 40-year-old person that's like, uh, you know, I don't, uh, my couch pulls out, but I don't.

Yeah, see, that's okay, because you know,

it's like an uncle phrase.

Changed my whole theory on shirts.

They're dude, yeah.

I was once uh at Safeway, and there was a guy in the checkout line with a shirt in the back said, North American pussy crushers

Part of the NAPC.

In England, it's the

club.

The fanny crushers.

And here's your final phone call.

This is a phone call.

Hi, Dave Graham, and possible guests.

This is Dan from Indiana.

I was at a convention this weekend, and I was standing behind these two guys, and they had come in from

Michigan,

and

they're kind of not really paying attention to each other and one of the guys goes

so

what train do you want to take back and his friend looks at him goes I don't know 2-2

what you talking about

I said what train do you want to take back and he goes oh I thought you were asking me what

a train says

Imagine getting that question what does a train say

I don't know What does the train say?

Choo-choo, choo-choo, choo-choo-choo.

It also says chugga-chugga.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And

it does one of those.

Yep.

Well, that brings us to the end of this.

What train do you want to take back?

I mean, that is a good answer to that question anyway.

The choo-choo train.

Yeah.

What train are you talking about?

Yeah, we're going to get on the Soul Asylum runaway train?

Yeah.

The money train?

The midnight money train?

Well, that brings us to the end of this here episode.

John, thank you so much for being our guest.

Guys, thank you so much.

Where can people find and order your book?

Yes,

it's called Curling Rocks, as we've mentioned many times throughout the episode.

You can get it wherever you get your.

Wasn't Curling Rocks the theme song to the Drew Carey show?

Curling Rocks.

Curling Rocks.

I hear he had quite the

co-star who was unpleasantly.

True.

That's what I've heard.

That's just the rumor.

I will, yeah, it's sorry.

I will do nothing.

I will hope you order my book.

Yeah, it's anywhere you get books.

Obviously, I prefer if you support independent, but if that's not an option, you can get it at any bookstore in Canada.

And then I believe in America, it comes out in February.

Okay.

So if you're listening to this in America, it'll be out then.

But you can, if you're a real huge rockhead, you can still order it from Canada.

You just have to pay shipping costs.

Yeah.

And

tariffs.

And tariffs.

And use SPY code SPY at checkout

at checkout for no tariffs.

Yeah, no, yeah, exactly.

We dropped the tariffs for you.

And thank you, everybody out there, for listening.

We don't have it confirmed that Kristen Miller is a bitch, but

we're going to look into it and come on back next week for another episode.

Maximum Fun, a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.