Ep 204. Fatiha El-Ghorri - Series 19 Ep.4

Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast.

It's me, Ed Gamble, and we are in an increasingly hot caravan studio.

Today is warm.

We're sort of heading into the first days of what feels like summer.

It should be spring.

May I not recommend recording a podcast in a tiny caravan during the summer months?

But we are excited to be joined by a contestant on Taskmaster Series 19, the current series of Taskmaster.

To talk about episode 4 of Series 19, it's the brilliant Fatia Elghori.

Fatia is an amazing comic.

She's so funny on this series of Taskmaster.

I can't wait to speak to her.

So let's get into it.

This is Taskmaster Series 19, episode 4, as discussed by Fatia Elghori.

Welcome, Fatia, to the Taskmaster podcast, or should I say, in celebration of this episode, the Mosquemaster podcast.

You officially rebranded the show Mosquemaster on this episode.

I have, it's got a nice ring to it, innit?

It really does.

Yeah, I like it.

I like it very much.

And I, but I've enjoyed any moment where you take Greg on in a sort of combative, but also with a deep sense of love and future marriage.

That's what relationships are, ups and downs, Ed.

That's what it is.

But they rarely start on so many downs, Fatty.

It's because he tests me.

If he just listens to what I say and does what I say, we wouldn't have these issues.

Okay, we'd have a happy marriage.

Your vibe on the show is fantastic.

Thank you.

It's very much what I was hoping for.

Oh, really?

It's what I was rooting for.

As soon as I heard you were doing it, I was like, this is a result.

They are not going to know what's hit them.

It's the mix of like the absolutely taking people on and then also being extremely charming at the same time and then when it comes to some tasks just being annoyed that you had to do that

some of them were mental yeah like

how much did you know about the show going in yeah of course i knew but some of them were insane man come on like the one when does the light turn on how the hell am i supposed to know well you did we'll get to it well you knew better than anyone else yeah but like there's yeah some moments where you're opening the task, you read them out, and then you just go, well, what?

What are you playing at?

What's wrong with you?

Are you kidding me?

Yeah, like having to dress the dummies.

What are they?

What were they called?

Crash dummies or something.

The mannequins.

That's it.

The mannequins.

The car crash dummy things.

I'm like, what are you?

No, man.

Come on.

Do you know how much those things weigh?

They're proper heavy.

And their limbs are so rigid, like you can't really put clothes on them.

And then you want me to do that.

No, bruv.

Come on.

We will come to that later.

We will speak about that task later.

But what I would ask is, what were you expecting from Taskmaster?

Did you think some of them would have meaning and you'd understand the task?

Yeah.

You thought there'd be a reason for it.

Or like, because I'm quite, despite what I, the way I behave, I'm quite

smart.

You are, you are, you're definitely smart.

I've got a practical way of looking at stuff and I'm a practical learner.

Yeah.

So like if you said to me, do this, you'd have to show me for me to get it.

Yeah.

I don't like people talking and telling me, like, put A at B and then A and B together will equal this.

No, again, I'll ask you again, what were you expecting about it?

Not of that.

I thought I would get a lot of them.

I thought I just would know.

And I think I was a bit cocky.

And, like, yeah.

But that's important, though.

You got, you've got to go in with confidence.

Yeah, I think.

I think it's just so funny, even on episode one, you're going, like, why do I have to do this?

Why are you doing this to me?

how was the experience as a whole how was oh i loved it i loved it i loved greg i loved alex i loved rosie matt jason stevie we were such a good team i felt like a family do you know what i mean and i like i loved it i just when i watch it back i just think oh i wish i would have taken my time on this or if only i would have read this properly oh why didn't i look under there why didn't i look under that doormat that's where everyone keeps their keys i'm like no we're arabs we keep our keys in our bras you know what i'm saying that's what we do.

So I'm like, that's why.

When he was like,

did you check your bra?

No.

No.

There you go.

That was your mistake.

Maybe for you, they just, when you weren't looking,

slipped it in.

Yeah, the sound man popped it in the bra.

So, yeah, but my, do you know what?

My hijab helped me.

You know, there was one where we had to catch like food flying in the air.

Yes, that was in episode one in the P Olympics.

Yep.

My hijab helped me.

Thank you, hijab.

Yeah,

the right way, you're not going to be happy about that yet again advantages given to muslims

exactly

in the plympics in the great british sport of plympics

and she's not even brita

let them let them froth at the mouth no you're absolutely i mean you're fantastic how how did you feel getting on with alex during during the tasks because sometimes people take the combative approach to alex i think i think i think you did that certainly do you feel like you were getting on throughout the whole process with alex I love him, but he's a wanker, bro.

He is.

Like, we had to do that challenge where we were like, one of us had to clap, one had to jump up and down, and the other one had to sit down.

Yeah.

And I was jumping from foot to foot, and he was like, Fatia, that's not jumping.

I was like, I will cut you, bro.

Yeah.

I am moving from foot to foot.

That is jumping.

Yeah, there was some debate over whether that was

jumping.

Did you say it was like rocky?

Yeah.

Yeah, like Rocky Balboa.

Yeah, exactly.

That's jumping, innit?

Yeah, I guess if you can fit a skipping rope under, it's probably jumping.

Thank you, Ed.

Can you go and tell him that, please?

I think it's too late.

It might be too late for that.

We should talk about this particular episode.

Series 19, episode 4, the prize task.

Again, some of these prize task categories, this series, are very detailed and very odd, but I'm loving them.

The thing that least suits its name when you shout it loudly when we're all looking at it on a screen.

It's a diff that is a difficult thing to choose, I think.

But talk us through broom, Katya.

Because there's been a couple of prize tasks so far where I get to the end of listening to your explanation and I go, yeah, that's great.

And then I think about it for one more second and go, I don't understand what she meant by that.

So I didn't, I feel like with broom, right, it doesn't do what it says.

So like all kitchen things do what they say, yeah.

So So like you have a blender that blends.

A vacuum cleaner vacuums

the vacuum.

Vacuum something.

But it sucks up the vacuum.

Yeah, but then it should be called a sucker up or shouldn't it?

It creates a vacuum, I suppose.

Yeah, but it doesn't clean it up.

Yeah, it sucks up in the vacuum.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, like whatever.

And

you're giving me Alex vibes, you know.

Yeah, I feel like I'm taking on Alex vibes because I'm enjoying it when you get angry at me.

A knife?

How do you feel about the word knife?

It's weird.

It'd be cutter.

Isn't it?

Yeah, it should be cutter, you're right.

Spoon, yeah, I get because it goes like that.

Yeah.

You know, like big spoon, little spoon, it hugs the food.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So spoon, yeah.

Fork, I don't know.

Like, what?

What's, yeah, it should be a poker.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Poker.

Should be a poker, a cutter, and we're happy with the spoon.

Yeah.

Okay.

Spoon stays.

So I thought, yeah, that's what broom, it doesn't really do what it says.

Yes, I do.

I think I understand that element of it, but I think the name does suit it because we all know

what it's called.

But this is why it's such a difficult category, I think.

Yeah.

I mean,

you got three points.

It was because he was scared.

I think it's because he was scared.

Or maybe

the bit I particularly enjoyed that I think deserved five points was you saying that cars were named after Alan Carr.

Because you really panic halfway through.

I did when he was like, Oh, why are they?

And I was like, Oh my god, oh my god.

I don't know why they're called cars.

Do you know?

I don't know.

No, I've got no idea.

I haven't got a clue.

But you know what?

I wouldn't do is start trying to explain why they were called cars if I had no idea and end up saying it was named after Alan Carr.

He was asking me, and I was like, Oh, panic.

And then I just thought, Alan Carr, Alan Carr.

So I did.

He was asking, Yeah, because they're automobiles, innit?

That's what they're called.

I don't know, man.

I don't know why they're called cars.

I wonder.

That makes more sense.

Maybe it's short for carriage.

Aha.

You're very smart, you know.

I'm just trying to, I'm trying, you know, that might not be right.

Did you win your taskmaster when you were on it?

Series nine, thank you.

Wow, look at this guy.

Seven series ago.

I won.

Oh, you see, you're smart.

I would have hated to be on your on the team with you.

Yeah, oh, you would have hated it.

Yeah, we would have, we would have really clashed.

I think you would have won, but I think we would have clashed.

No, you would have won, but I would have.

Mine was series nine, so many series ago.

Our tasks were things like pick up an egg and have a look at it.

Yeah.

There wasn't any of this complicated stuff.

It is so complicated.

Yeah, there's so many rules.

So many rules.

But Broom got you three points.

Let's talk through some of the others.

A lot of them went down the filthy route.

Jason had an album from a band called Fanny.

Yep.

I don't, this to me didn't seem like something that doesn't suit its name because that's the name of the band.

But I think his point was...

It's not a Fanny.

It doesn't mean what it means here in America.

It means bum, bum in America and vagina in England.

Yeah.

May I say?

Yeah.

But I don't think it was quite right.

It wasn't the prize stars category, was it?

But look, I don't think Jason cares how many points he gets.

Jason just wanted to destroy the set.

Yes.

I just want to break everything and everyone.

I'm like, bruv, don't play with me.

I'm unbreakable.

Okay, kill everyone else.

Leave me out.

I mean, there's so many chaos elements on this lineup.

Yeah.

So you have your own thing going on.

Jason's like the Tasmanian devil.

Stevie's just crazed all over the place.

I mean, Rosie is probably one of the most sensible ones on there.

Isn't she?

Yeah.

She is.

And she does some mad stuff.

Matt's also sensible, but I think also quite sort of devious yes I think he's got some something going on up there hasn't he and he's very smart like yeah and he's able to figure it out really quickly and he's got all these he really does think outside of the box he's just like and he's quick man he's quick he's like a little snake I think you're doing yourself down I think you're very quick not like a little snake but you're very quick

but yes

Jason's didn't quite work

Matt now I've written down this should have won how did it not win

it was the mummy head and then he shouted mummy

I just thought that was perfect yes to me I saw what Greg was saying about you have to say it in a certain way for it not to suit it but I just think it worked so well when he did it in the studio I agree yeah I loved it but I also felt the same with Rosie's one liar yeah like that was so smart yes like yeah and it's also a thing that a lot of people don't know its name as well so like I think hers and his were the best ones, but they, you know, they got three and four.

Stevie, Stevie got the five points for a shuttlecock.

Because she said, she goes, she only picked it because it's got the word cock in it, and it ain't a cock.

And then he was like, okay, five points.

You said cock.

I've got a cock, five points.

See what I mean?

I mean, he does.

Sometimes, yeah, Greg goes for the filthy, the filthy thing.

It worked to my advantage a couple of times in Taskmaster, in the prize tasks, especially.

I think didn't do amazingly at them, but I had one that was the best thing to celebrate with on a stage.

and it was a thing I invented called confetti cannon party pants, where it's pants you put on and there's a confetti cannon in the crotch.

Oh, wow.

So you can like basically shoot confetti out of a big cardboard dick.

I love that.

And then I had a gnome, like a garden gnome with a massive dick that's carrying it in a wheelbarrow, and you love that.

Are you obsessed with dicks, bro?

I know, but they are funny, aren't they?

They are funny.

Wasn't you scared you would burn your willie by doing the confetti?

Doesn't it not?

Isn't fire?

No,

I made sure it was pointing outwards yeah but still there's heat in it yeah i suppose so

yeah of you are i'll take the daredevil i'll take the rest at this point just burn it off everyone

it was one point for jason two points for matt three points for you four points for rosie and five points for stevie's shuttle clock

it's got cock in it

Should we discuss this or should we just move on to whoever's got tips?

Task one, here it is.

A task you absolutely love by the sound of it.

Put the most wetsuits on mannequins.

The mannequins must be wearing their wetsuits properly.

Also, you must tiptoe throughout and put your finger on your lips and say sh at least once every 20 seconds.

You have 15 minutes.

Your time starts now.

I just want the listener to know, as I read all of that out, all I could see in my periphery was just Fatia shaking her head angrily.

Yeah, this was a lot, man.

It's like, do you know that game?

I don't know if you probably did play this game, when you have to rub your tummy and pat your head.

Yes, that's the kind of madness, nonsense, bullshit that we had to do in this.

You had to tiptoe.

Who tiptoes?

Am I a child?

No, I'm not.

Okay, am I a child stealing a biscuit when your mum's not home?

No, you're not.

Why are you tiptoeing when your mum's not home?

Because she can hear things.

All right, she's got really awesome.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She's like a fox.

Yeah, she can hear.

So that was a nightmare.

And then that vibrating thing wasn't very strong.

You're right, okay.

Yeah.

And yeah, and then having to find the wetsuits in this smelly caravan, man.

What the hell?

And that little cupboard thing.

Yeah.

Oh my god.

And then the mannequins are so heavy and rigid and their arms kept on falling off.

I was like, why did you get some cheap ass mannequins?

Get the real ones.

I think they knew that it would make it more difficult, Fatty.

I think they were enjoying torturing you with those mannequins.

Their ankles didn't move.

These mannequins, you know, when they stop making mannequins and then they're like, we have a surplus that we need to get rid of, but we don't want to burn it in a landfill.

These pricks brought them innit.

Their ankles don't move, their hands don't move, their elbows don't move.

What the hell, man?

Well, as I mean, Rosie said, it must have been like having an old husband where she's trying to get rid of him.

His arm just fell off.

And there's a bit where Stevie's like, basically, just like fisting the mannequin into the wetsuit.

It's just chaos.

This whole series is chaos.

And it normally is.

But every single task seems to end with all of you doing something different, but equally all over the place.

It's brilliant.

It's brilliant fun, but it is stressful to watch sometimes.

But I don't know how

Rosie and

Matt, and I think all of them saw the baby mannequin and the wet suit above the shed.

I did not see that.

Did you even say at one point that it'd be good if there was like a kid mannequin?

And Alex says, yeah, that'd be good, wouldn't it?

But you hit on the good idea of

wetting stuff to make it a wet suit.

But you only did it once.

You could have done it with everything.

I just wanted you to carry through with that idea idea because it was a smart idea.

I think I panicked because I was like, Yeah, I don't think I understood what I had to do.

I think, I think I thought it was like, just do as long as you do one.

And maybe that's what I was thinking.

Maybe I was like, if I just get the one, at least I've got something under my belt.

Do you know what I mean?

I'm not coming in last.

Like, but that didn't work.

But also, it was one of the tasks that you needed to sort of throw yourself at full tilt and like just run around and smash all this stuff in.

And honestly, Fatiha, I think you've got too much dignity to do that.

It's not that how every time I run, that lanky prick goes, Fetiha, skip.

I'm like, what's the tattoo?

Or whatever the hell he was saying.

So this is the problem.

Like, you,

I start running, and he goes, remember you have to tiptoe.

Yeah.

I'm like, I'll tiptoe on you in a minute, bro.

Shut up.

So this is the thing.

I'll tiptoe on you, like, my mum's gone out.

And your head's a plate of biscuits.

Well, I mean, Matt's tiptoeing was obviously adorable.

He was like a baby fawn.

Yeah, he really is.

He's been called a fawn on this podcast before.

It's just like

I've never met anyone like him.

I think his next role, he should be in the Nutcracker.

And Nutcracker does all that nonsense, isn't it?

On their tiptoes.

The Nutcracker does do all that nonsense.

That should be his next role.

Yeah, we'll let him know.

Andrew Lloyd Webb.

Sir Andrew Lloyd Webb needs to call him.

Does he do the nutcracker?

I think so.

Yeah.

I think he wrote it.

Stevie.

See, Stevie's energy is great for this task because she's just like screaming top speed towards things, punching things around,

finding mannequins that weren't supposed to be part of the task.

The mannequin graveyard.

Yeah, the mannequin graveyard.

She, yeah, I was like, she came out of there with a man with half a waist and a leg.

She's like,

she screamed jackpot.

Yeah.

She was happy about that.

She's like, yes, jackpot.

Really funny.

And then Jason obviously just calls the baby mannequin a little fucker.

Doesn't get, doesn't do much.

Again, doesn't manage to get much on anything.

Just enjoys smashing stuff up, doesn't he?

He is chaotic.

How was he

off-camera, off-screen?

Same.

Yeah.

We're having dinner.

There's no fork.

He's like, it's okay.

Smashing it with his palms.

Bang, and eating it like that.

I'm like, all right, Jason.

Amazing.

He's a a cool guy though.

I love him.

I love him to bits.

He's such a cool guy, and they all are.

It seemed like you all got on really well.

It was a good bond from episode one.

Absolutely.

And we still get on, like, we still message each other.

We've got a WhatsApp group and stuff.

So that's not like, yeah.

You're going to meet up?

Maybe if Jason ever comes back to London, they might not let him back in after all this smashing he does.

Wouldn't it be awful if this is the taskmaster goes out and they're like, we can never let that man back into the UK.

He can't be trusted.

He's going to try and get on the roof of the Houses of Parliament.

parliament.

Let's talk about Matt again quickly because everyone does an okay job.

It's a really difficult thing.

If you work out that you can wet a suit, then it's probably a better,

better point score.

But I think it's one of the biggest regrets of the whole experience for Matt by the looks of it that he had his fingers on his lips for the whole thing

because he wants to stick to the rules so much that he's making up rules in his head.

He is, yeah, sometimes I feel like he, yeah, I don't know.

He take, yeah, I think you're right.

He makes it up in his head.

The realization of that when he said, oh no, I took my fingers off my lips.

I'm going to lose.

I'm going to be disqualified.

The heartbreak.

And then realizing that he didn't have to do it.

So tragic.

So many tragic moments in one.

So sadly, because of the finger on the lips, he only got three-quarters of a white suit onto one mannequin.

Meaning it was one point for Matt.

Two points for you, Fatty.

You were saved by Matt's over-fastidiousness.

Jason gets three, Stevie gets four, and Rosie gets five.

She just

is very good at just dressing mannequins.

She is.

I think she's, oh no, Matt's got kids as well.

So I was going to say, she's got kids.

So I wonder if it's if you have children, maybe you're used to dressing kids up when they're half asleep and refusing to put clothes on, staying rigid like a mannequin.

Exactly.

Maybe that does have something to do with it.

But she was very clever as well.

She was wetting them and then putting them on.

Yeah.

And she borrowed Alex's suit.

And she didn't know.

That was great.

That was so good.

And not, she didn't use because it said suits.

So she went for suits.

So she was using clothes which are a lot easier to put on than a bloody rubber wetsuit.

Yeah.

Do you know what I mean?

Which is what we all put on.

Asking for Alex's suit and asking for his spare suits as well.

And him quietly going, I might need one.

I might need one in a bit.

And soaking it.

It's great.

No, that was awesome with Rosie, actually.

That was a deserved five points.

Definitely.

I imagine this is what Marry Northern Man's like.

Yeah.

Come on, me!

Very hot, swell.

I need some more wettings.

Can I have that one that you've got on?

If you don't mind, I don't want to be awkward or weird.

Oh.

Task two, team task.

Convince the other team that the following things are the opposite of what they are.

The liquid in the cup is very hot or very cold.

The bag is really heavy or really light.

The paste in the tube is delicious or disgusting.

Alex is or isn't behind the curtain.

Two of you have or haven't met the same really famous person.

Most deceptive team wins.

You have a maximum of 20 minutes.

Your time starts now.

Again, a lot to remember here, Fatia, but you can break it down, I suppose, when you're doing it.

Yeah.

Talk to me about the team.

When you arrived and you met your team, how were you feeling about that?

Firstly, I was like,

why are Matt's legs out?

That's what I thought.

I thought, this geezer, why is he dressed like a porn star?

Like, literally.

It was my favourite when you met.

Because I think Rosie had already said, oh, you look nice.

That's a nice outfit.

And then you turned up and went, why are you dressed like that, bud?

And you can see him really taken aback because he'd never met you before.

He didn't know what to expect.

And he went, it's just so beautiful.

I'm nice.

I'm

sporty.

Sporty.

But it happens again here.

I don't know how quickly you then did this task when you're talking to each other and you absolutely torture him with something else, and he's just so

taken aback.

It's so funny.

I think that was the first

thing we met.

I think

the first one, I remember the first one meeting them was the jumping one.

Yeah, one jumping, one clapping, and it was that.

And then I think this was the next one.

I can't remember, but yeah.

It's great, it's so great.

And just your acting, I do want to talk about your taking a sip of the drink.

First thing you do is you

jingle around the cup so you can hear there's ice in it.

I didn't realise that.

Immediately, though,

you open it up and the steam comes out.

I'm like, that's clever because it does look hot.

And then you go,

and then you take the sip and say, oh, that's delicious.

And look right down the camera and go, and heart.

Which could have been a double bluff, right?

But it wasn't.

It was a single bluff.

Oh, shit.

I didn't realize.

I don't.

Yeah, what the hell, man?

I had to borrow someone's vape to make that smoke.

Oh, really?

Yeah, so I had to take a drawer and then blow it in the cup, quickly close it and then open it for it to come out like that.

That's clever.

Yeah, see, I'm smart.

Despite that.

You jingled the ice.

I really didn't hear it.

I really didn't realise.

I was so busy trying to make it look real.

Yeah.

I didn't hear it.

Oh, it looked great.

I thought it looked amazing, but yeah, it was just the jingling, really.

There's also another amazing moment where you're talking, and Rosie says to

Matt,

and you'll be good at this because you're a good actor and you just go what about me

it's like yes fatia don't stay quiet there

i know i was like where's my compliments hello hello quite right too you're on a team everyone should get a compliment

exactly um did you did you enjoy doing the team tasks yeah i loved it i loved it and i thought because we were all so different as well like

They were really good at, I don't know what I was good at, actually.

They were good at working things out and they were quick they had speed i don't know what i was good at maybe distracting alex or something so he wouldn't take it on alex 10 minutes yeah exactly that yeah and um

yeah i think i was awful i think if it was just not true if i was just if it was just me and rosie we would have lost or just me and i think if it was if i was no i agree i agree if it was you and rosie you would have lost

we would have because sometimes i felt like it was matt trying to do taskmaster and then you and rosie just did the other thing yeah

especially in that first team task where you just throw the marbles onto the window.

I didn't realise because he said I knew Alex was going to scream and go,

you can't hold on for longer than 20 seconds.

That's why I threw them.

And then I got a broom and tried to sweep them out the grass.

One of my favourite moments in the series so far that suddenly it was normal that you were just sort of gently brushing the grass trying to find trying to find marbles.

Does it feel insane at the time doing stuff like that?

No, no, because you're like, we've got to win.

We've got a time limit.

We've got to get this done.

So it was like, just go, go, go, go.

And then when they were like, why?

And then when we got in the studio and Greg was like, what the hell was that?

And I was like, what do you mean?

I thought it was smart.

And he's like, oh, no.

But this was all great.

I mean,

you didn't get guests as much as they did.

I think we would have expected the other team to do really well because

they're both actors.

Yes.

Both very good, of course, as well.

But I think they overdo it.

They like do the whole packing packing of the heavy case, then they cut, and then you know, there is clearly a bluff.

Um, you got two out of three in that first round, and then they say they've met Tom Cruise.

You don't believe that?

No, ain't no way they've met Tom Cruise.

Like, come on, please.

I believe Jason, because Jason's been in a lot of films, yeah, Hollywood, yeah, yeah.

He's Hollywood, he's proper Hollywood, so I did believe that he would have done a camera test for Mission Impossible, but your

justification for saying it was a lie was that you've seen all of the Mission Impossibles and he wasn't in it.

Have you really seen all of the Mission Impossibles?

Yeah, big fan?

Yeah.

Big fan.

Not as much of a fan of Mission Impossible, though, as you are of Batman.

Yes.

Because we found this out in the last episode that you painted your room in Batman Green.

I did.

I did.

When you were 18.

Yeah.

And my mum was, Feyeo Men.

Yeah.

Because the ceiling was black.

Do you know how hard it is to get a black painter?

It is insane.

So, yeah, I love...

No, Batman's my favourite.

And he, sorry, I'm going to digress here here to Batman.

No, go for it.

But he is the only

He's huge.

He's the only out of all the superheroes.

Yeah, he's the only one that's human.

Yeah.

And his superpowers are all in...

He doesn't have superpowers.

They're all mechanical because he's a rich prick, isn't it?

He just pays his way through it all.

Yeah, and you like that?

I like that.

He's a normal guy.

I like that.

But he's a billionaire, isn't he?

Yeah, he is.

Do you not think...

Like, if Batman was real now,

the internet would hate Batman.

Yeah, they would.

Yeah, all the new Batmans that are coming out now are shit.

The only real Batman is Michael Keaton.

He's the best.

Okay, yeah.

He's the number one.

Anyone tries to chat shit, I'll bust your head.

No, I love Michael Keaton, but surely Christian Bale's got a little look in here, doesn't he?

No, fair enough.

Sorry, Christian Bale.

I know you're from the UK, but tough tits.

He listens to this.

He better not come for me.

Imagine if he doesn't internet rant about me.

I'll fight him.

I don't care if you have got your Batman moves.

I love how Greg on him, my big man.

I love how quickly you went from saying you were afraid of Christian Bale coming for you in the same sentence, going, He better not come for me, I'll kill him.

I've got him, no problem.

Um, it was three points for Jason and Stevie, and five points for you guys.

This is so soothing, lovely, and hot.

Okay,

interesting.

Did you go to Rada?

If I don't get a buffer for this, I swear, God.

Task three.

Tell Alex why the light bulb turns on.

You may not touch or tamper with the light bulb.

There's big headshakes going on over here again.

You may not tamper with the light bulb.

Fastest, correct answer wins.

Your time starts now.

Why are you angry about this task?

Because you did so well on this.

I know, but it just felt so long.

Like, I know it's

you did it.

You did it in seven minutes.

I know, but that felt like an hour, man.

I swear.

And he's just sitting there looking at you.

I'm like, you know the answer, just tell me.

And then he like, he didn't want to help.

And I'm like, you're so cruel.

And then it was just, yeah, it was, and it just kept on flashing at certain points.

And you don't know, yeah, it was just, um, and then all these things in front of you, like smile plus two, plus, what the hell, man?

That doesn't even make sense.

Okay.

Fatty, it was a task.

You had to work it out.

It wasn't just imagine the TV show of you walking into a room, there's a puzzle there, and you say to Alex, tell me what it is, and he does, and that's it.

I'm not sure it would have made it to series 19,

but you did it so well, it was so impressive.

Thank you.

Did you work from the clues, or did you do it by accident and then work backwards from there?

Um, a bit of both, yeah, because I was like, okay, there's definitely a smile involved, there's something too, so it's either two smiles in a go, or it's something to do with time.

Yeah.

Because there was a water clock there as well.

So it was, I don't know, it was like a mixture of, I don't know how, you know, when you're just like chaotically intelligent.

Yeah, well, you absolutely nailed it.

Seven minutes.

Did it surprise you as because obviously yours was played last, seeing how long other people took?

When they said, when Greg was like, oh, Stevie, it took 28 minutes.

I was like, oh my god.

She looked like, and then she threw all those raisins in her mouth.

She is mental.

And then when it came to Jason, then they were like, was it 58 minutes?

52.

Oh my God.

I don't know how he did that.

I don't know how Alex did that.

If I was Alex, I'd be screwing, bro.

I'd be like, you best hurry up.

I need to go toilet.

I need to eat.

I need to call my family.

I need to fucking go home.

Like,

how are you taking an hour to do a task?

Jason, come on.

And then he put all the raisins in

the...

Well, that was really making me laugh.

Feeding it raisins.

Yeah.

Because every time he did it, you saw him go, it's it's obviously not what it is

but then the light bulb would come back on so every time he was about to stop it he was like maybe it is the raisins

it was so funny but i again i really don't think he he cares about getting the voice no so just the idea of putting raisins into the box was making him laugh so he decided to do it for 52 minutes it was outstanding

um he's something else that guy he's got patience you know he's got proper patience i would have lost my mind yeah that's a long long time.

I mean, I think the longest I've ever taken over at Task is 97 minutes.

What?

What was that?

It was on Champion of Champions.

I had to get a duck from the top of the drive into a pond down there.

But I wasn't allowed to come out from behind the rope up there.

So you have to release the duck from up there and get it really far away.

So I was basically building a river for the duck

that kept collapsing.

But I decided to do it.

So I was like, I'm just going to keep doing this.

Even though I knew it was never going to work so I did it for 97 minutes and then didn't didn't do it I chopped the duck's head off and buried it

you I'm calling the RSPCA feel free I'll do it to any duck that's in front of me I hate ducks now I can't even have crispy duck

oh no no no no just dreadful worst day of my life Hattie I'll be honest did they get pissed off with you I bet Alex was fuming I don't think you I think he realized that it would probably be good in the edit so he just let me carry on doing it I felt bad for the crew because it was over lunch basically.

Oh, you're evil.

At one point, a delivery man arrived.

Came in through the gate while I'm screaming at a duck.

Just desperate to make it happen.

Do you like duck outside of that?

Like, did you used to eat duck?

I've never eaten duck.

Yeah, I like duck as a meat.

I mean, crispy duck pancakes are

one of the finest things on the planet.

Oh, really?

Personally, yeah.

I've never had it.

I've never had a...

Yeah, they don't have halal ducks.

Look, there's a robin outside, you know.

Can you see?

And it ain't even Christmas.

Why is it out

get back in your house that's climate change isn't it that is climate we're about to die the world's gonna end yeah as you so beautifully illustrated in your painting from the previous episodes

put it put it on the pallet and then squidged it up against the painting and then it was all about climate change in the end luckily because it was melting no i like i like yeah crispy duck pancakes but there's no no halal ducks no well there well i don't i've never had a halal duck that might be a gap in the market maybe

after taskmaster you know, you know, there's going to be plenty more people interested in what you're up to.

Gordon Ramsey, call me, bruv, innit?

Call me.

We come at halal duck pancakes, bruv.

Come on, y'all.

Really good idea.

Also, let's stop talking about food now because this is not, I can't stress enough this is not off-menu, Fatia.

Even though, and I will let the listener know,

when Fatia turned up here, she said, Is it just with you?

I went, yeah.

She went, What about the other guy?

What do you mean?

She went, Matt.

I was was like, oh no, Matt Bainton.

We had him in yesterday.

We were talking to him about episode two.

So no, Matt Crosby, who I co-host Radio X with.

Did you think we were doing the Radio X show from the Taskmaster Caravan for no reason?

I just thought it was him.

I really thought it was union today.

But he hasn't been on Taskmaster.

I don't know, but that's what I thought.

Why is he here?

But I was like, I don't know what's going on, these people, mad people.

Who knows?

Maybe because there's Alex and Greg.

They need Ed and Matt.

Ed and Matt, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We need two white men to handle all Taskmaster properties.

That's the only way we can do it.

No, Matthew Crosby's not here.

That's a different show that I do.

But yes, I do understand I do quite a lot of podcasts for you.

Listen, I'm going to say that the listeners, listen up, yeah, because he's one of the best hosts.

Thank you.

Like Matt.

No, I'm joking.

Matt is one of the best hosts, for sure.

No, honestly, no, you are one of the best hosts.

You said that to me early before we started recording and you said the best, actually.

Yeah.

So you've downgraded that, which is a shame.

Dear me

um no jason i cannot believe jason stuck at it for 52 minutes i wouldn't i would have lost my patience yeah like i would have just been like i know

there are so many honestly so many times i'm like oh and i start touching other things in the room and they shout at me and i'm like who was shouting at you for touching other things

and his dry suit was like 30 ha get back to the task i'm like bruv i'm gonna smash a window yeah don't start

and all that but it was yeah it was yeah it's I don't know how Jason did that and I don't know how Alex has got the patience for that Ivan they just no especially if he's watched other people do the task if Jason was filming after you he'd seen you do it in seven minutes and then half an hour in you're going come on Jason

52 minutes though but you know it felt like mine was seven minutes but it felt so much longer it feels because I guess there's like silence obviously Alex can't help you or give you clues or anything he can only explain the task.

And so it just feels like you're there for longer because you're in your own head.

There's silence.

Yeah.

And you're just, and you can ask him questions or whatever, but you're trying to work it out.

And it's just, it feels so long.

And look, but seven minutes is an incredible time.

Somebody call a vet because these swans are sick.

Which, well done on not taking credit for that because Greg was sure that you'd invented that.

No, I didn't.

No, no, I used to have a personal trainer who said that.

Oh, really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Really embarrassing.

I've got a personal trainer as well.

She's a lady.

Yes, you call her a bitch on the show.

I had to tell her, you know, I had to be like, listen, bruv.

I was just joking.

Do you know what I mean?

I was having a bit of a laugh.

Like, don't take it to heart.

Because she will.

She'll be like, why wasn't you able to lift that?

You lift double that.

Oh, my God.

Do you know, you know, you know the sledge in the gym?

Yes.

I can pull it towards me.

I can do 120 kg on that.

Max.

Pull it towards me and push it back and pull it and pull it.

See, I'm strong.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

There's no doubting that.

Your swans are sick.

Stevie has an absolute meltdown in this as well.

28 minutes.

We all thought that was going to be a long time.

Falls over on the floor, collapses, screaming.

Just completely loses her mind.

What was left of it?

Finally gets it.

And as you mentioned, in celebration, downs the whole plate of raisins.

She seems to have that instinct of just celebrating by just

snacking stuff.

Throwing it up in the air, pouring it all down her mouth.

Yeah.

She's, yeah.

I don't blame her, though, because

seven minutes felt so long for me, and she did it for nearly half an hour.

So I don't blame her for, like, I'm surprised she didn't smash the plate, throw it out of the window, smash the clock, take the bulb off.

That's what you know.

Yeah, there's sort of no way around this task.

There's no clever way of doing it apart from actually working out what it is, right?

Because you can't tamper with the light bulb.

They shut off all the possible ways of doing it

because there was a task in series seven where they had to work out what a switch did.

So they were flicking the switch, they'd have to run around the whole house to see what had changed.

And what Rod Gilbert did was disconnect what was going on.

Oh.

So

he unplugged everything or whatever and said it doesn't do anything.

Oh, wow.

But Alex has made sure that's not possible.

He will not let anyone have any fun, Alex.

There's no way.

He's so strict.

So strict.

Even like when we're doing the task of three, he's watching us all.

You would think, like, I'm like, Matt's talking, watch him.

I'll just go and sit over here for five seconds.

And then he's like, Fatia, come back.

I'm like, oh, my God, you're like my mum, man.

Shut up.

It's like, just VDIs all over.

He's not letting people get away with stuff.

No, not at all.

You know, and I'm kind of glad about that, Fatia, because I tried my hardest on Taskmaster, and it disappoints me to see people slacking off.

I wasn't slacking, I was just

trying.

That's what I was doing.

Trying.

You can't just say you were doing the opposite.

Would it be fair to say there were definitely times on the show where you were slacking?

No,

no, no.

Okay.

I was like running around.

When you made me do some nonsense in here, I took my shoes off and run around.

It was wet everywhere.

I was like, I'm not getting my trainers wet.

They're expensive.

These get wet, bruv.

We've got the same trainers.

Yeah, exactly.

Because that's got style, that's why.

Stylish people, exactly.

It was one point for Jason.

Of course, it was.

It was 52 minutes.

To get one point for that is so lucky, I think.

Yeah, he's lucky he didn't get zero.

You should kick him out.

Yeah.

Disqualify.

Kick him out.

No, he's not coming on the podcast.

I've said it.

Two points for Stevie, three points for Rosie, four points for Matt, and of course, a victorious five points for you, Fatia.

What about Raisin Popper?

Yeah.

52, 52 minutes.

We had a six-minute debate about whether it's math or maths.

Yeah, you cut it?

We have to cut it, Jason.

Live task.

Win a game of front ham.

One at a time, each person must discard three socks from their washing line and add one.

If all your coloured socks are removed, you are eliminated.

Last person standing wins the game of front ham.

Couple of head shakes for that one as well.

Not happy about this.

Why is it called front ham?

No one knows.

And Alex will never explain that.

There's so many things from Taskmaster where I go, well, you can tell me now

why was it called that?

What's going on with that?

And he'll just go, no, I'm not telling you.

Because it all comes from his fevered imagination.

I don't think he knows.

He's a weird little brain.

Yeah, he's a weird guy.

You won Front Ham.

I know, I can't believe it.

I told you, I've got a strategy, you know.

If it's a practical thing, I've got a strategy.

Sometimes if it's like,

I don't know, sometimes if it's lots of different things together, I can struggle a little bit.

If there's different parts to it, sometimes.

But I'm good at like puzzles and all that kind of stuff.

I like stealth strategy.

Like I like playing computer games.

I'm good at that shit.

And you were very, very good at this.

Now, I'd say maybe there's some live tasks where you didn't necessarily think you were going to do well or give your all.

Is it fair?

I'm thinking of episode one, Fatty.

I'm thinking about getting the raisins into the glass.

Yeah.

You stood completely still and upright and occasionally blew on the raisins.

What was going on there?

So you had to move the raisins from inside the glass onto a plate, but you couldn't use your hands.

It was on the plate

into the glass.

That's it from the plate into the glass that was on the floor.

But you couldn't use your hands.

Yeah, you had to have your hands behind your back.

Them other people, yeah, the other team,

the other contestants, yeah.

They was getting on the floor.

Ain't no way I'm getting on the floor, bruv.

Are you you mad?

Ain't no way.

So that's why I just thought, let me just blow on them and like

eat some of them sometimes as well.

What was the blowing?

What was the blowing on them for?

I was like, maybe if I blow hard enough, one of them will just flip.

He genuinely hopes that one of them might just go

into the cup.

But you definitely maintain your dignity.

Exactly.

And that is important.

Yeah.

Do you know what I mean?

I'm not creasing up my shirt.

Are you mad?

Getting on the floor for some reasons.

No way.

No way.

No.

Well, the game of front ham did not involve you getting on the floor.

No.

Of course, the tactic was, I think, to not let other people know what your colour was to start with.

But, you know, maybe you had one of yours now and again.

Take off other people's, maybe to throw them, take off one of yours and put it back on later.

I feel like you might have been one of the only ones to understand this game.

Jason and Stevie sort of struggle because they don't really get a chance to have a go before all of their socks are gone.

Yeah.

Matt, again, just sort of gets taken out.

I think he generally understands what's going on, but he doesn't have time to get his game going.

I would say Rosie never once understood what the game was.

She gets to the final four.

The craziest final move you can do in front ham.

Because it's like watching the Olympics, isn't it?

You know, when you put the Olympics on, it's a sport you've never seen before.

You're an expert within an hour.

It's the same with front ham.

It's you versus her.

She takes off one of her own socks.

Two of yours, one of hers, and puts back one of hers.

But we all know.

What are you thinking when that's happening?

When she takes one of her own socks off?

I thought I've won.

That's it.

Yeah.

Well,

it's true.

I was like, she doesn't know what's going on.

No.

Yeah, because I think that's what got her.

I think she thought we were still trying to hide it from each other.

And it's like, no,

like, they don't know who's cut, but we know.

Yeah.

Like, you know what I mean?

Well, we know it's one of two, yeah.

Even we seem to know more than Rosie did, and she's in her own head.

It was mad, it was madness, but also, I was very, very glad you won this one because you played it very well.

And she still got four points, even though she didn't understand, which is a pretty good go.

Um, Stevie, very, very sadly for Stevie, gets the one point, she doesn't really even get a go.

Jason gets two, Matt gets three, Rosie gets four, and you get the five points.

Very strong episode for you here, Fatia.

Um, you do not win this episode, though.

No, no just lost to Rosie somehow she gets 21 you get 20 big golf then Stevie on 15 Matt on 15 and Jason with a very low 10

meaning that Matt still very much in the lead in the series he's 12 points ahead of Rosie 13 ahead of you Stevie has one less than you then Jason on 49 doing quite badly at the back there

But again, we've got to say he doesn't mind.

Oh, he don't care.

He doesn't mind.

what are these?

Fatih, you are absolutely brilliant on the show.

Oh, thank you.

So funny.

We can't wait to see what you get up to in the next few episodes.

This episode was one of my favourites only because there was three of us girls at the top.

Yeah, yeah.

So I loved it.

So I was like, I don't care as long as a girl wins it.

I didn't care.

As long as, obviously I wanted to win.

Yes.

But, you know, there's still so many episodes to go.

Yes.

But it was just important, I think, for everyone's mental health that Matt didn't win.

Because he's won the first three.

I think even for him, he looked worried that he might win the next one.

Because he then becomes an enemy for no reason.

He's such a nice man.

But if you keep winning, people aren't going to like you.

No.

He's so lovely, though.

He's such a nice man.

All of them are.

We were such like...

nice, you know, when we were eat having lunch breaks and like dinner and that, it was just so nice, like proper friends, proper family, so supportive.

So lovely.

But then when we had to do the tasks, that's when it changed.

Yeah, Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Enraged.

I must win.

Fatia, thank you so much for coming on the Taskmaster podcast.

You have a book being published in June.

I do, yeah.

It's a

teen,

teen book.

A teen book.

Yeah, like a teenager book.

Yeah.

And

it's about a young girl that starts to wear hijab and then she realizes there's all these perks to the hijab.

Like you don't have to iron your school uniform, you can hide your suits under there, you You can wear your headphones in school, and they don't know, and all that kind of stuff.

And it's about her.

You can catch peas.

You can catch peas pee.

Exactly.

Exactly.

So it's about her realizing there's all these perks to wearing hijab and realizing herself and it's her choice and that's what she wanted to do.

And it's okay for you to be who you are and we should accept everyone.

It's just got a strong message to it, but lots of laughs in it as well.

Fantastic.

Go and get that.

It is out in June.

Fatty, we always ask our guests to rate their experience on the podcast.

So So we hope you've enjoyed yourself today.

But you can give it between one and five points in the style of the Taskmaster.

Please be honest.

We're all expecting an honest rating from you, Fatih Elgori.

Right, I'm going to give it a four.

Oh, that's way better than I expected.

Genuinely, I'm made up with that.

No, I would give it only because we're not matching our trainers today.

Yeah, that's true.

That's why it's good.

Well, I have to wear comfy trainers at the moment because I hurt my toe.

What did you do?

I was doing box jumps.

Why would you do that?

Are you insane?

Who does that?

Are you a ninja?

you doing it?

That's the one we just jumped straight onto the box.

Yeah, and a proper jump.

I didn't just lift one of my feet off the box.

Oh, wow.

When his cameras come off,

when you're having it, bro.

I'm stamping on that foot.

Don't, it is really painful.

What happened?

So what you

fall?

My toes, I was doing lots of them.

And then I showed you that.

Why are you showing off?

Because I'm strong.

And these muslins are sick.

And I think I must have basically sprained my toe really badly, but the main problem was I then slammed my shins into the side of the box and went over the top of it.

Oh, shit.

So my shins are all cut up and stuff, but they're healing.

But the toes are worry.

So I'm having to wear my comfy shoes, and that's why we're not matching trainers today, Fatia.

You should have told me I've got comfy shoes as well, you know.

We could have matched comfy shoes.

Exactly.

So you're not a friend, man.

You're not a friend.

Next time you come on the Taskmaster podcast, and you're always welcome back.

Oh, yeah, right.

You're going to put a fucking black ex now, my name.

As soon as I leave here, you're like, this bitch ain't coming back.

I do say that.

I say it right down the camera as well.

fatia thank you so much for coming on thank you i hope your toe gets better thank you and um thank you i always love working with you you too not that fucking matt crosby

i love you matt thank you

Thank you very much to Fatia for coming into the caravan slash studio and she didn't complain once.

So thank you very much for that, Fatia.

We'll be back next week to talk about Taskmaster Series 19 episode 5.

We will have a special guest.

Who's it going to be?

Who's going to join me in the caravan?

That'll be a nice surprise when you tune in to listen next week after the main episode, Channel 4, 9 p.m.

Taskmaster.

Bye-bye.