Taskmaster: The People's Podcast - Best of 2024

Hello!

Happy New Year from Taskmaster the People's Podcast.

It's been a wonderful year last year, 2024, and we thought we would celebrate last year with the new year with a best of of last year.

Not at all confusing.

This is Taskmaster the People's Podcast, bits that you might have missed from the past, and exclusive new bits that we didn't show before previously.

So, sit back, relax, enjoy what is technically the last day of the holidays.

Because for a lot of cultures, the 6th of January is still the holidays.

Okay, it's called 12th night.

The 12th night is after Christmas.

So, technically, this is still fine.

This is still the holidays.

Enjoy the holidays with a special holiday best of special.

Goodbye.

We have a very exciting

friend.

I'm not going to say guest.

It sounds weird.

Oh, thanks.

We have an old friend.

An old friend.

A ghost from the past.

It's a lovely girl.

It's lovely to be back on the park and see some nice faces.

It brought me back when, Jack, we couldn't hear you.

It brought me back.

It brought me back.

Oh, yes.

This is how I spent most of my Wednesdays.

I remember now.

And I had to deal with my cogs.

I had to get that Yeti microphone on, not the inbuilt.

It's complicated, it's very complicated.

How are you?

Tell us about your life and what you're doing before you make your season 18 predictions.

Yeah.

Yeah, all good.

Cat got run over, but he's okay.

Oh, my God.

Watch out to Boba.

Boba.

But he's the greatest healer of our time, so he's okay.

Then no one could believe it.

Innards all intact.

Yeah.

Good lord.

And I don't say that sentence enough.

Is that what the vet said?

As soon as you came in, they said, innards all intact.

Vets are an absolute switch.

I'll say something positive and something negative about them.

They're all really beautiful.

The men and the women vets, or however they identify,

they're all stunners.

And it's not their fault, but the racket that vets, and it's not them, it's the vet practice.

But Labour government are looking into it, thank God, because it's like one or two people that own all the veterinary practices and they hike up the costs.

Yeah, it's very few independent ones.

There is one in Crouch Hill, and you'll find it's about a quarter of the price of like, well, I'm not going to name names.

Do you think it's more expensive to have a cat or

a very aged mother in a home?

That wasn't where that sentence was going.

Sorry.

Well,

I was expecting something else.

I think cat because they charge me two and a half grand for one and a half nights, and it's in the care of rest home is like you know, one and a half, two grand a week.

Yeah, so absolutely,

it puts it in perspective,

yeah, and leaves you can't leave your mother in a box and give them some kiggle now and again.

So, well, well, you can try.

It's it's

there is there is always, there's always an acquired taste at a certain age for that kind of thing,

right?

Yeah, so well, that's the other live stream you've got going, isn't it, Johnny?

Now then, now then.

How's your book been doing?

The title of which is What's That Lady Doing?

Oh, thank you for asking.

I mean, I do get lots of nice messages from

women in particular who say it's really helped them.

So that's really nice.

Have you gone into paperback yet?

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, okay, because that's, I think, I think that's where the money sort of comes in.

That's when the sales happen.

And I think Audible as well.

I don't know anybody buying hardbacks, to be quite honest, Jack,

is yours going to be a hardback?

I think it is going to be a hardback.

Oh, no.

No, but you have to go.

You have to, it's the audio of the day, hardbacks, softback.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, it's hardback and audio, same time, then softback.

How many have you written, Jenny?

I think this one is my 12th or 13th book.

Yeah, I know.

I think it might

be your third.

I've got stats on it.

I think that is your 13th.

Is it my 13th?

Wow, that's incredible.

yeah well some of them some of them are just comedy books but some there are quite a number of novels in there as well just comedy books just comedy

well listen uh with i'm blushing now as if and can i just say you've got lovely skin jenny really

i do i do and that's because I don't go out in the sun.

Don't go anywhere near it.

I can't.

I've had a skin cancer scare.

I had an auntie, Auntie Ida.

She lived in California.

She never stepped out in the sun.

And

she was known as the lady with the beautiful skin.

Wow.

That's quite a long skin.

That's quite a long moniker, isn't it?

Yeah.

Ida.

Ida with the beautiful skin.

Yeah, there you go.

I was trying to work out if Ida, it broke down to the lady with a beautiful skin, but it didn't.

That's what you're dealing with.

Yeah, yeah, same thing.

Yeah.

Okay.

Do you want me to look into my bar?

My bar.

We want you to look into your crystal ball and make sure that.

I'm like Richard Herring.

I've just got one bar.

We should say you've done predictions for the past two series and you've been right each time.

We are doing predictions for series 18.

You are, of, of everyone who has made predictions in

Taskmaster People's Podcast history, you are the best at it.

Okay, no pressure.

Oh my God.

Okay.

Right.

Okay.

I don't know which medium to use.

Use both.

Use both.

Use all.

Okay.

Well, I think I'm going to go for a freestyle reading, which is arrogant

because usually I go on the apps, but I'm going to get my ball.

Now, remind me of the names in this one.

Gone.

You've got Andy Zoltzmann,

Babatunde Lashé,

Emma Siddy,

Jack D,

And Rosie Jones.

Oh, that's tough.

Oh, that's tough.

Is Jack D in this one?

Jack, are you absolutely sure Jack D's in this lineup?

I am positive.

Of course, you are.

I'm so sorry to interrupt there.

I've just seen you look a bit blank and thought, oh, really?

I hadn't.

Okay, okay.

And would you want to know whom we thought would win?

Yes, yes, please.

Yeah.

Okay, okay.

We don't want to corrupt the medium.

Actually, tell me after.

Tell me after.

Tell me after.

Okay.

I think Jack D and Emma City will do well.

I think Rosie Jones will come third.

Interesting.

Hang on.

And then we've got Bubba Ton Day, haven't we?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And we've got.

Andy Zoltzman.

Andy Zoltzman.

Oh, Andy Zoltzman

is going to be very clever.

Clever.

Oh, clever.

Does clever win?

This seems worryingly logical, Lou.

I've got me on shit.

Yeah, okay, okay, okay.

I want the.

We're going back to the Magic Ape ball.

We're going back to the Magic Ape Ball.

We can't rely on me.

Okay.

Ask again.

I forgot to ask.

Okay.

Okay.

Which one did you ask?

I forgot to.

I've lost my powers here.

Okay.

Okay, I'm going to ask, where will Andy Zoltzmann come in the new Taskmaster series?

Ask.

Will he become first or second?

Leading question.

Okay.

Leading questioner.

Will he come first or second?

Not yet.

Not yet.

No, there hasn't been a series.

I've absolutely nailed it there.

And

I'll see you all later.

It looks like we can.

So thank you for the opportunity to come on.

I'm going to be more to it, Lou, than that.

Okay, no, no, I'm doing it properly.

Okay, so I'm going to say, does Burbatinde get first, second, or third place?

Only time will tell.

This Magic 8 ball isn't as good, actually.

It's vague.

It's vague, this Magic 8 ball.

What are your waters telling you, Lou?

Oh, I know, I know, I know.

I do this thing where I rock back and forwards.

Wait there.

This is my witch taught taught me this my good witch she's got a good energy okay so you can ask your body

is Jack D gonna win this series of taskmasters hang on first of all give me an answer for yes give me a motion for yes

is forward yes Lou is rocking rocking gently backwards and forwards is forward yes okay so forward is yes oh she's bending right over forwards then

give me an answer for no

she's going backwards.

She's going backwards.

Oh, she's really going backwards.

Okay.

She's going to start talking in tongues next.

I've just wet myself.

I hope that's not a problem.

She's wearing apicot shorts and it shows.

Is Jack D going to come first or second in Taskmaster?

Oh, yes.

Leaning forward.

Okay, so Jack D, first or second.

It's almost religious.

It is.

I feel we're in the presence of something here.

Is Emma Siddy gonna come first or second in Taskmaster

oh she's going backwards that's a no that's a no that's shocking is Babaton D going to come first second or third in Taskmaster it's got to just be oh a no no it's a no no is is Rosie Jones gonna come first or second in Taskmaster

Yes.

Hang on, is Rosie Jones going to come first or second in Taskmaster?

Yes.

Okay, so Jack D and Rosie Jones are at the top.

Okay.

Is Emma Ciddy going to come fourth place in Taskmaster?

No.

No.

Okay.

Is Emma City going to come third place in Taskmaster?

You won't tell me.

Maybe it's going to be a tie.

Maybe it's going to be a tie.

It could be a tiebreaker.

No, but hang on.

Andy Zaltzman, isn't Andy Zaltzman going to do really well in Twasmaster?

Oh, she's going to be.

She's gone silent now.

Nothing.

Nothing.

Well, I'm very confused.

Okay, well, from that, he might get disqualified.

He might, he might, something awful might happen.

That was terrible.

He might get cancelled.

Do you know what his politics are?

Yeah.

They have to CGI him out.

Honestly, that was quite extraordinary to watch.

I feel sorry that we're not doing this on prime-time television.

We're absolutely wasting it because that was uncanny.

I think there would be about the new ghost watch.

There'll be, you know, people will be incredibly moved, I think, by what they saw.

It was a lot.

It is, you are supposed to use this tactic to ask your body stuff it already knows.

Obviously, I don't already know the results.

So it's more stuff like,

does this person like me?

Did

don't go there.

Don't start asking your body things.

No, no, I wouldn't.

I wouldn't.

Only use this for Taskmaster.

yeah yeah but what i mean is i did try once try it on a football question and i got it wrong my body said one thing and it said another because i don't really know football no no

taskmaster well yeah but i don't really know it's more sort of like am i allergic to this food okay okay okay that feels like the type of thing that like a medical uh bracelet should tell you or move your body yes or no because your body knows your body knows i see i guess your body your body's drained sensation in my, because I'm allergic to red-seeded fruit, and I can sometimes look at a red-seeded fruit, and I think you're on the danger list, but I will get a sensation in my mouth.

And sometimes I think I can risk it, and sometimes I think, no, no, no, no, no.

It's that, hang on, is that about the music?

It's female intuition

who wouldn't understand what it is.

I know better than to.

And who's just whacking her finger?

She was whacking her finger like that.

that.

Yes.

Well, that's so we've got Emma.

Our ovaries.

So you said Rosie, and did you say Jack first or second?

No, I said Emma,

or what did I say?

Emma was first.

I was in a trance.

I can't remember.

I thought she said that Emma and Jack were first and second.

Yeah, in my head, I think Andy Zoltzman is going to do well.

And I think Rosie Jones will probably just have a massive laugh.

But

Babaton D, I don't know so well, but I don't know.

I think Emma was fourth.

I think it was either.

I think it will go back and replay the tapes to work out exactly what was said.

We were all quite transfixed by what was going on.

I didn't really listen to what was said.

But we were all of us.

I was distracted by the fact that I really like the decor in Lucy in the sitting room.

There's a rosy pink going on.

She herself is wearing an apricot.

I'm liking that colour combo.

And there is an acid yellow sideboard behind you that I think is insanely nice.

You'll have to come out with me.

No, I don't do meeting people in real life.

I'm always a disappointment.

I can be quite good fun.

We were going to go out for dinner.

It's never going to happen.

I mean, you know, we'll talk about it again when Jack's book's coming out and we'll all go, oh, we must go out to celebrate with you, Jack.

We'll take you out for dinner.

It'll never happen.

I'm just telling you that now.

Oh, God.

Yeah, yeah.

I remember that.

I remember this.

Good.

Well, so what are you up to?

Are you planning a new show?

Are you plotting?

What?

I am doing a new show, which is on sale now.

It starts in February, so

I'm learning to do a front flip for that.

Whoa.

Yes.

Okay, what we'd like to do now, and I don't know whether you'd be willing this, but I don't know whether you'd like to stand up and ask your body whether it wants to do a flip or not

or can yeah, whether it can do it or whether it physically is able after some training.

Okay, yeah.

I'm going to gymnastics tonight, actually.

Will I be able to safely do, no, sorry, will I be able to do a front flip

by February?

Yeah, yes, it's a yes.

All I'm going to say is my last tour, I finished six months of it, and every night I was doing a small cartwheel.

It wasn't really a cartwheel, Lou.

It ended up being more of a bunny hop, but I'm too old and I'm too fat to even bunny hop.

And I broke my neck.

And I had to go and have a

break my neck, but I had to go to hospital and pay quite a lot of money to have some discs shaved down in my neck.

So just watch yourself, that's all I'm going to say.

Because a lot of these stages, they're not sprung, you know, they're not sprung.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay.

And that was just

when I say old and and fast,

I mean it.

I was too heavy.

I

was blimey.

It's not easy being alive.

It really is.

It gets harder.

Love, I tell you, it gets harder.

I'm still going to do it.

I did try and do it once on stage, but with no training, and that was the error.

And let's just say the entire sort of four rows after the break could only smell deep.

And will it involve a springboard?

Are you actually going to do it off your own two feet?

No, I quite like that.

I'm not going to be someone travelling around gigging around the country with a springboard well if ashley banjo doesn't use a springboard i'm not using a springboard that's a rule in all stand-up isn't it ashley banjo doesn't do it you won't do it i think if you brought a springboard people will be like she's going to do a front flip whereas i think if not having a springboard people are going to it'll come out of that yeah and imagine the headlines if i break my back you know

we'll have to go on with no front flip though enjoy your gymnastics class tonight but be a bit careful yeah yeah i will yeah are you with a lot of eight-year-olds?

Um, this is a one-to-one because I was a bit slow in the old adult class.

I'm not what you'd call a natural,

okay.

But you, but you've done lots of, you've, you've, you, you're, you're the dancing star.

Well, I was in the dance off every week in Dancing on Ice, yeah, but we've but we've been over why that was,

yeah, jealousy.

One word, jealousy, yeah,

quite legitimately, every week.

Oh,

infuriating, infuriating television.

Sorry that everyone's jealous.

I mean, both of us really hope that the tour that kicks off in February doesn't end in A ⁇ E.

Oh, thank you.

I really hope that.

That's really kind, but at least it'll be cheaper than the Vetsbills if it is.

Yeah, yeah.

Always remember at the back of your head, I am cheaper than a cat.

Yeah, yeah, thank you.

And you'll just spend the rest of your life sitting in a box with a gibbet.

I'll watch you.

It'll come to us all.

But we'll let you go.

We'll let you go, Luke.

But anytime you want to catch up, you're very welcome to jump on board the pod.

Thank you.

Lovely to see you both.

Take care, Daring.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

Thank you so much.

Thanks, Christine, as well.

Nice to see you all.

Bye.

Hello, J and J of the P P's P.

That's us.

Flampoiance.

exhibits qualities of exuberance, confidence, and style.

A tortoise is not flampoo.

Oh, we're going going back to the tortoise.

Can a tortoise be flamboyant?

Okay, I see.

A tortoise is not flamboyant.

However, sundials are useless and decorative, confidently fanciful and stylishly archaic.

Freddie Mercury is obviously flamboyant, but his image will never make a plastic clock flamboyant.

It is kitsch at best, but more likely, just crap.

All love from Texas.

He's good.

He is good.

He's good.

What's weird is that we received this email many months ago before we even watched that episode.

So I don't know how they've done that.

No, I'm kidding.

I just, I

don't, I mean, I, okay, I sort of agree, Todd.

I sort of agree.

But I also think that

there is a flamboyance.

I feel like Freddy just

it bleeds into the

you can't you can't

agree with Todd, but

but then you're sort sort of, but surely a clock, a clock is always going to be fighting against the fact that it's not flamboyant because by that nature, a clock is always not flamboyant.

I mean, I would argue a sundial is not a clock, personally.

Is a sundial a clock?

Yes, it is.

Of course it is.

It's what they had.

It was a clock of the olden days.

But that doesn't make it a clock.

They wouldn't have been like, what a great clock.

They'd have said, what a great sundial.

Oh, I can't.

Anyway, this is all a bit of a blur for me, Jack.

Were you going to be penned about language?

Was this something that cropped up after last week's podcast?

Because

I know that we did something about sundials and tortoises, but I can't remember the actual details.

Will you help me, please?

I like the fact that Todd has given literally no context

to this.

Yeah, I know.

But it was

series three, episode one, they had to bring in the most flamboyant clock.

Oh, yeah.

And we got into an argument as to whether a tortoise could ever be flamboyant.

And Todd is claiming that a sundial is flamboyant and therefore

the tortoise being merged with the sundial makes it flamboyant.

Freddie Mercury is flamboyant, but the plastic.

But I would argue.

No, Todd's right.

You can argue that you're not.

Stop agreeing with Todd.

Todd and me went into this together.

What did I say last time?

Did I agree with Todd?

I think you did agree with Todd.

I think

you were pro-Torto Sundy.

And I think that

I feel like if you start saying that

a plastic clock cannot be flamboyant, then you're ruling out the entire concept of this task because it says most flamboyant clock.

And that is a clock.

Yeah, but it's a plastic clock.

It's a plastic clock.

So with some

of the clouds, it needs to be a grandfather clock.

Yeah, yeah, it's not a flamboyant clock.

It's a shit clock.

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Steve bought an.

I thought this actually deserved more points.

I think it did as well.

And

I think what's good about this one is that it's a classic Steve thing that we talked about.

What did you call it last week?

I can't remember now.

Oh, don't worry.

I can't remember.

It was like a doubler.

That was it.

Christine has a doubler where

he brought in the picture and then was like, well, I have to explain it and create a backstory for it.

Which I, I mean, that's the, you know, Glug Gravies, which is a reference, of course, to a previous prize star.

And Alan Horne, who

presents a pub quiz.

And it was this sort of terrible thing.

I think what it did was it.

upset Greg and Alex a bit because it sort of reminded them that there were other lives that could have happened to them.

The back of the corridor.

The back of the comedy.

The back of the corridor.

It is, yeah.

And they can't get, they haven't got through the comedy door.

They haven't got through the stand-up door.

Yeah.

I mean, I'm sure that the real blokes in that picture are having a very nice life.

They look very happy, in actual fact.

But it is something that when you're confronted by somebody that looks a bit like you, but that you know their lifestyle is nothing like yours, it gives me the shudders slightly.

Well, it was actually, it was a photo of them, but face swapped, yeah?

What?

Wait, Jenny?

Hang on.

Oh, fuck's sake.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

God, I'm so stupid.

No, it's not fault.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

So, oh, listen, I didn't, and that's why I didn't understand Alex's joke afterwards.

I thought, what are you blithering on about, Alex?

I genuinely, okay, I better explain this to the listeners and apologize at the same time.

I genuinely thought, oh, God in heaven, what's wrong with me?

So sorry, Steve.

I'm glad you had to tell me.

Well, you couldn't be that polite that you'd let me blither on, going, you know, the whole all our listeners going, silly cow, silly old cow, silly old cow.

No, I, because I wasn't, I was unsure how much you were committing to the bet.

I couldn't work it out.

I genuinely thought that Steve had been walking down the beach.

I thought, oh, he probably knew these gay blokes that look quite happy in their lives.

That are called Glug Gravies and Alan.

I knew, no, no, I think I thought he was sparing them their real names.

But I think

what people might not understand, and this is, I'm clinging to this excuse, is when you look like me, right?

There's quite a lot of other women in their 60s that look like me.

And I get sent quite a lot of photographs of people that look like me.

And it makes me feel kind of sometimes it's all right and sometimes it's upsetting

but i did not notice a face swap thing i think that's quite clever

email to jack who's this from uh this one is from ohio it's from anna anna in high ohio uh she says oh hi ohio

I'm sure no one's

ever done that before.

That's original, that is.

I'm sure I just, Anna, Anna.

Well, actually, no, maybe, maybe in Ohio, they don't do it because it's just like, you know, that's where we live.

Yeah.

Oh, Christine says, and she's our resident American, says, round on the ends and high in the middle.

I don't know what that means.

Hello from Ohio.

I'm wondering if the data shows any correlation to winning and/or high scores with contestants in costumes or what you call fancy dress.

I assume contestants who have regular old clothes instead of of a thoughtful outfit are contestants who score lower.

Think either in normal shorts and sweatshirt versus Kyle's red race suite, or more ambiguous, like Ed's Canadian tuxedo.

Oh, was Ed in a Canadian tuxedo?

That's disgusting.

Is that what it's called?

I can't remember.

Double dead.

What is that called?

Is it called a Canadian tuxedo?

I'm loving it.

I'm loving it.

A Canadian tuxedo.

Anna, thank you for that.

Oh, amazing.

Well,

this is, well, there is more commitment in this series than some

than others.

You know, we've got Andy in his full cricket whites.

Baba is in full casual.

He is what Anna would say regular old clothes.

Yes.

I mean, he's just reached into his wardrobe, hasn't he?

And he's pulled.

It's not all nice enough.

It's a good wardrobe.

I think he's at least aware that he's going to have to do things where he might get messy.

Emma, obviously,

they always give you an overall if you're going to get messy.

So, I'm not going to take that as an excuse.

Emma's got full-blown detective spy undercover agent going on, complete with Trilby.

Roses in a day glow.

Um,

is it yellow or green?

It's sort of a yellow, it's like a lime green, I would say.

It's gorgeous, it's a yeah, it's a it's a sort of fluorescent, you know, like one of those lemony-colored fluorescent pens, highlighter pen, yeah, um, which is great.

So, and Jack is

yeah, which is very much his thing.

So, I think I actually have looked at this before, and I think that the answer is,

or I think when I looked at it previously, it was that costumes do do better.

But I was, and but the actually the best is boiler suits.

So, I separate it into boiler suit, costumes, suit, and uh, casual or normal clothes.

I will say that in recent years, um, the normal clothes, uh, Mae Martin, Sam Campbell, they've been doing very well.

So, um, last year, obviously, the winner was Penny Mercury or John Robbins, which is obviously a costume.

So, that again is upped costumes again.

Boiler suits going out of fashion, I would say.

Boiler suits, you're not doing particularly well if you're in a boiler suit.

Sue Perkins is one of our last boiler suit people.

Oh, Joe, Joe Manali as well.

Joan Manali was in a boiler suit, but she did well, but she didn't win.

So,

I think the I need to double-check exactly what it's like now because that was a couple of series ago that I did it.

It might be entirely different now.

I feel like it goes in waves, and like all fashion, it goes in in peaks and troughs and waves i'm just glad some people are still doing it though because oh yeah i mean jax would look like a a suit as a sort of dressing up on someone else but i i think that is just that's something that's in his wardrobe

almost regular old clothes but it's not casual yeah well jury's out on that i think what did dara wear by the way i'm just dara speech a a sort of a very green um jumpsuit complete with lots of really nice little in fact quite similar to daisy's Daddy's and Balettes and Daisy Macoupin, actually, if the most similar person would be Rosie, actually, in this series, who's really made the effort of basically like

I would say archetypal, the archetype for that is Melga Deutsch.

She was the one who pioneered the boiler suit with little extra things here and there in her series.

She had like a beautiful.

Rosie's always worn a boiler suit, though.

No, I know, but I think the little extra like things saying like

the things on the back saying daddy and the rest of it and like little like

extra bits bits and pieces.

That makes me think she's taking inspiration from your Lou Sanders, yeah, your Daisy May Cooper, yeah, Mel Ge Dreutsch.

I do, I do know that, yeah, Rosie is very much, but often her boiler suits are less like, they're more like pantsuits, aren't they?

Or is she properly,

we never say pantsuit in this country, it's an Americanism.

I'm so sorry.

Oh, I'm very sorry, Jack.

I just can't think of a punishment right now, but they're really a pantsuit.

Oh, dear.

Whenever I put on a pantsuit, I'm round on each end and pie in the middle.

It's an American Christmas.

This is all my Turkish series is wearing a pamsuit.

I can tell you that for nothing.

Okay.

Right.

Email to Jack.

What's this one?

This one is self-titled A Fashion Easter Egg.

Ooh.

Hi, Jack and Jenny, my favorite JJ.

Very sweet.

We like that.

Thanks.

When watching episode one of series 18, my mum pointed out something amazing.

She noticed the jumpsuit Rosie wears in the studio is the exact same as the costume for Taskmaster New Zealand contestant Series 5 contestant, Hayley Sproul, that she wears for her tasks.

As a

skeptical daughter, I decided to do some light googling to see if my mum's eyes were, in fact, those of Eagles, and she was right.

It's not just that they both wear leopard or cheetah print jumpsuits, they are literally from the same company.

This has nothing to do with statistics or anything at all.

I just wanted to share a super fun Easter egg that shows how connected the Taskmaster New Zealand and Taskmaster UK universe are, even if they are thousands of miles apart.

I doubt it will happen again, but I have my eyes peeled in the next nine episodes to see if anyone else wears something another contestant once wore.

It'd be great to see Jack D walk into the studio in Phil's costume.

Could you imagine?

I do not want to imagine.

Horrifying.

No,

describe Phil's costume.

Horribly tight-fitting, bright and yellow.

You could see.

Oh, I see Phil Wang's.

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I got it.

I got it.

I thought it was going to be another

Tasman News.

No, no, it's sadly.

It's sadly ours.

Okay, no, I'm looking at the,

and also, this is from Kat in Austin.

It's a wonderful email.

And thank you, mother, as well, with her beady eyes.

And they are wearing the same leopard print.

They are.

They're exactly the same.

All in ones.

Yeah, yep.

And I'd like to hazard a guess at the company, but I can't see the logo.

Christine, can you help us out here?

Is it a Joni or?

Oh, Christine.

Oh, it's Lucy and Yak.

It's Lucy and Yak.

Okay, the company is Lucy and Yak, who specialize in a lot of dungarees, a lot of overalls and things like that.

So if you are interested in

copying a Taskmaster, yeah, yeah.

Or, you know, Haley.

Then get onto the Lucy and Yak website and maybe they will send us a free.

That'd look great.

Yeah, that would be nice.

You'd look absolutely fucking awful.

Oh, no.

Right, well, we should start with a welcome to Alex Horne, but I'm going to start with a question.

I'm flummoxed, Alex Horne, because the first thing you said to us before we started recording is that you've had a bowl of cornflakes yeah and i'm flummoxed why you're flummoxed what we're gonna be having corn flakes nobody in their right mind eats cornflakes nobody but the thing is i have heard because i listened to a bit of your um off menu you just literally have no taste buds do you you literally have no taste i don't but i think that's a fair enough comment if i'd had kippers or something slightly exotic but cornflakes is like the ready sorted crisps of breakfast

they are the dullest thing in the world and you're a successful successful man, and

I'm surprised and disappointed with them.

Thank you, Jack.

Thank you.

Yeah, I know.

I like that.

Half a spoonful of sugar on it.

Does that help with some milk?

That's fine.

No, it doesn't.

No, it doesn't.

Oh, no.

Very, very disappointing.

We're not even going to do that.

We'll forget.

It's a good cop, bad cop, and I'm going to say that's a fine breakfast.

A fine good breakfast.

Well, I don't know where I stand now.

I don't even trust you.

Oh, shoot.

Okay, that's fair.

The only worse breakfast than cornflakes is Whitabix.

Oh, well, I don't want to talk about what happened yesterday.

You had Weetabix, didn't you?

We keep our Weetabix in a little jar.

My wife started, because the trouble with Weetabix, they go,

should we talk more about Oetabix?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is what people want to hear.

We have to keep them in an airtight jar now.

Otherwise, they lose their shape.

Lose a shape?

Well, you know, they get all crumbling.

There's so much dust on a Weetabix.

It's mainly dust.

Yeah, and you have three children.

I bet, yeah, your house must be filthy.

Oh, it's a hovel, Jenny.

Yeah, good, good, I'm glad to here.

Right, we'll get on to Taskmaster now.

You know, let's go back to those very early days.

And when you did the very first television episode, at one point did your heart feel calm and like you were doing the right thing and you'd got it?

No.

No, it was pretty stressful.

We did something called a show zero, which is like a pilot, but the show's always already been commissioned.

And we did that the day before we did the real show.

And it was Frank Skinner, Romesh, Tim Key, Roshan Connerty, and Josh Whitticom.

And we all had a sort of debrief in the dressing room where we said that didn't feel right at all.

Oh, God.

Because it was slightly too strict.

It was a bit too pantomime.

Greg had a cane and he didn't.

I've heard about the cane.

Yeah, and everything was bad.

He was never happy.

So he didn't give them any credit for anything good.

And so we switched that around and made it more real.

But when you start a new series, how long does it take you?

to guess who's going to win?

Oh, that's a good question.

I like it when I don't know.

Sometimes

you get a feeling.

So So Dar O'Breen was clearly, well, not necessarily going to is going to be in the top two.

And I'd say, Jenny, I don't think you're

going to be on my radar.

No, no.

So I normally know who's at the top and who's roughly at the bottom.

Some series I don't.

The one we've just finished, series 18, so we haven't done the studio.

I haven't got a clue who's going to win.

Out of all five of them, anyone could win.

And that's a lovely feeling.

What about, do you lie in bed at night ever thinking, my brain is dead and I cannot think of another task.

Well, that's where Avalon come in because we have this constant rolling deadlines and I can't sort of the deadlines are what make me come up with stuff I suppose.

If we had a sabbatical I wouldn't spend the year coming up with tasks.

I wouldn't do it till the final week.

Okay.

So I have this constant pressure that, oh, we start filming a new series next week.

So we need 50 tasks.

And I've also got a bit of a slight backlog.

So when we're filming is when I'm most sort of fertile, I suppose, because you're doing something, you think, oh, I know what could work.

So I scribble things down all the time.

So at the moment, I think if my notes section ran dry, I would panic a bit, but I've got enough in there to reassure me we'll be all right for another series.

And do you have help?

I've came up with a task.

Yeah,

I thought you meant like a therapist.

Do you need help?

Well, that too.

Well, I have help in that the team are always there and encouraged to come up with stuff.

We don't have any writers.

It is still pretty much me,

but there's definitely tasks that other people have come up with.

I used to lean slightly on things like Sweden and New Zealand.

So if they come up with tasks, we're allowed to use them.

And then I think the Andes don't like that so much.

Hello, Andy.

And we've had people ask about this because, like, obviously, if people had seen Taskmaster New Zealand, they would possibly get a few, like, if contestants had seen them, they'd know what to do in certain situations.

So, do you sort of have to sort of say that?

I mean, I think we've only done a handful.

It's probably under 10 that have been elsewhere.

And I really like the crossover because I, firstly, I think if you've gone to that effort to watch the Swedish Taskmaster to do better in the UK Taskmaster, then all credit to you.

But also, there's no reason why you'd copy what they've done.

I think you still panic over them.

And I just love the idea that we see how Swedish brains and English brains work differently.

I mean, ideally, we'd do them at the same time so they couldn't see each other.

But I like having the crossover and see it as a positive rather than a negative.

And we always try to put our own twist on their tasks if we do it.

But I don't think there's, I think we've kind of stopped that now, which maybe is a shock.

I think that's

why the show keeps working: is that you can ask five people to do the same thing, which could, I mean, the danger would be if they all did exactly the same, and then you'd all be left there thinking, oh, God, this is all getting really repetitive.

But they don't.

They just don't.

But even if everybody's brain works differently.

But if three people do it the same way, then that's fascinating too.

And we can still have fun with that because, you know, you package it all together in one little VT.

But I think never, ever has all five people done the same thing, even when the parameters are quite narrow.

It is remarkable, people's brains.

And that's probably where the casting comes in: that we don't pick five young men or five middle-aged women.

You know, we pick,

not that they're all the same, but you know what I mean?

We try to pick five different types of comics.

If you pick five middle-aged women, I mean, the one thing we'd do is have an afternoon nap.

That's what we build into the show in the filming days.

Just go, but about two o'clock after lunch, we're just going to have half an hour with our feet up.

Do you mind?

We'll start again in half an hour.

Yeah.

Well, Jack Ram, I think, was the only person who'd really stopped the TV mid task quite often with with like with tasks are there other things where you sort of just find objects and think i must use this in a task i'm thinking uh a christmas tree a bagger or a crane yes yep or a cement mixer um there is yeah i've tried to get a mangle into the show for quite a long time and we've i'm sure there's a task where they have to They get given a sort of clay sculpture and then it goes through a mangle and they've got to put it back together or something.

So yes, we do have objects.

My grandmother lost a bosom in the mangle.

Right.

Right.

Well, maybe we won't use a mangle in the show.

Watch yourself with that.

It's a bit of health and safety advice there.

Just watch them with the mangles.

Who was doing the mangling?

Was it her?

She was mangling.

She was mangling and she's auto-mangled.

Oh my word.

She didn't.

The bosoms were on the dangle and she auto-mangled.

But was she

winding it?

She was winding.

What is happening?

Do you know what, Alex?

I lied to you.

I lied.

It was.

That's not as funny as a bosom.

No, I think Edit that can you bleep out what the truth was?

Yeah, just forget the truth and let's go with the bosom went in the middle.

Um, so yeah, we do sometimes the object comes first, but I don't think that's necessarily the right way of doing it.

That's like when you write a song because you've thought two words that rhyme and work back from there.

I'd say often the concept at first, but yes, I have been guilty of going to Pierce's hardware shop in Chesham, wandering around looking hopefully at Sim.

we're actually joined by Sophie Williams today who works on taskmaster and is the voice behind the workout who's following you task aka she is Mr.

Blobby she is the the voice and the brain of Mr.

Blobby such as it was on that particular task now then how much Sophie did you have to do in studying about mr blobby to be able to confidently ask those answer questions?

Absolutely none at all.

Good girl.

Good girl.

That's what we like to hear.

I am obsessed with Mr.

Blobby.

Really?

Oh, my God.

So, are you?

Oh, my God.

Okay, that's amazing.

So, yeah, like,

I think they've always known that I've loved Mr.

Blobby as well.

So, like, it was my 30th a few years ago.

And

actually, when we were filming your series, Jenny, and they got me like Mr.

Blobby t-shirt,

Andrew, the AP.

Are you the same age as Joanne?

Is it the thing of your generation?

I think it must be, but I'm the same age as Mr.

Blobby.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

Which is how I knew his age.

They were like, are you over 30?

And it was like, yeah, well, yeah.

That's amazing.

So did you have, so you had all that information on hand.

What was the funniest Mr.

Blobby fact fact you had prepared?

Oh,

the thing I was most worried about was whether if they asked if he was a comedian, whether I could say yes or no, because to me he's hilarious.

Sophie, Sophie, may I answer this for you?

No, no, he's not.

There's certain rules, it's a bit like the magic circle.

And I would say, I would ban him.

I'd ban him.

That's what Alex said.

He didn't want to offend any of the comics, so he said, definitely say no.

Mr.

Blobby doing like a five-minute set at the King's Meriden.

I'm really sorry.

I have never heckled a comic in my life, but I would make an exception for Mr.

Blobby.

Oh, it's so funny.

But even for my wedding, one of the researchers on Tuskbuster, she made me Mr.

and Mrs.

Blobby cake toppers.

My cake looks so good.

She did my wedding.

Yeah.

Big fat.

And what does your partner think about all this?

does he discourage or they discourage or are they quite into it he just goes with it there's no stopping me so he's a saint you can tell me you can turn from me he's a saint i'm very lucky

yeah um now sophie woolen thought it might be a mate from school yeah i mean what did you think of sophie's questions because they were quite random weren't they Well, they're quite hard as well.

Those are the ones I wasn't sure about, the ambiguous ones like, have you met, have they met him or yeah so those are the kind of ones me and Alex looked at each other and kind of made little gestures at and if I wasn't sure who'd go yeah oh

where were you

I was walking alongside so I was walking following along oh

that's interesting I thought maybe you would be in like a in a truck somewhere

well I don't think they I didn't want to put them off and then see me and think, well, it's just Sophie, what you're on about.

I see, okay.

But also it had to be close enough that the signal would

work.

Oh, that makes sense.

Did Alex have a special signal to get across to you that you should say amphibian?

No, he just, so I was doing the answers, and then if I kind of paused and kind of wasn't sure, then he'd go a bit like...

bit like that and then put his hand up and and then that then i'd know that'd be amphibian then oh god because some of those mammals and some of the birds birds, they were quite confusing, weren't they?

You weren't making them up on the spot.

Did you have a great big fact sheet of are you secretly a bird, an ornithologist and a mammalanian?

And a blobby fan.

You can't have

those three things, can they?

You'd be insane on Mastermind.

You'd be insane.

No, I was useless with the animals, so I had a sheet and I could never pronounce any of them.

I still don't know how to pronounce it.

Is it Capybara?

I don't know, but

so

yeah, I just got a fact sheet, but they were quite hard, some of them, and some of them were intentionally difficult.

Like, I think there was one that had frog mouth in it, but it was a bird, I think.

Yeah.

But you think frog, amphibian, so

it was designed, wasn't it, to confuse?

Yeah, yeah.

And then the quacks as well were quite quick.

So

trying to get the answers out in time with the quacks was hard as well.

Did you feel sort of any stress or tension about this?

No, it was okay, actually.

It was,

yeah.

I think if I didn't know my blobby, then I would have

blobby was your anchor.

So, so was it

complete coincidence that Joanne is also obsessed with Mr.

Blobby?

Yeah, I think so.

I think it was just that they want to mr.

Blobby, and yeah, and then they I think she mentions it in a different task, doesn't she?

I've heard her say it before.

She did it in the first episode, yeah.

She really rates him as a top physical comedian.

But it's amazing that Alex would be like, well, this, this task, you know, because Sophie loves Mr.

Blobby and then actually Joanne loves Mr.

Blobby as well.

Oh, that's so funny.

Yeah, it'd be interesting to know why it was blobby, but I even got one of we had a spare blobby inflatable.

I think they gave one to Joanne and then one to me afterwards.

Girls fighting over Mr.

Blobbies.

It'll be very interesting actually if we get any emails from women of your generation

saying, yeah, me too.

Because it's kind of,

listen, I shouldn't be saying this, but it's a tiny bit fetishy.

Well,

I don't think it's an age thing because lots of my friends find it weird as well.

I've got one other friend that's obsessed with blobbying and that's interesting.

I wonder what it's from.

Were you a child when it was on television?

I'm just trying to sort of, does it go back to Saturday evenings with the family and being happy?

Well, I think Noel's house party was a bit before my time, but he was on kids' TV a lot.

And I never got to go to the, what was the theme park?

The

Crinky Bottom theme parking?

Overgrown and yeah.

Oh, terrible.

I never got to go there, but

you know.

What's that Chernobyl now?

It's kind of overrun by wolves.

Well, we know where you're having your next birthday party.

You and Germany.

Crinkly bottom here.

You

So it's been really lovely talking to you.

Just because people will want to know how long have you been working on Taskmaster?

Oh, about

just before the pandemic, so

four and a half years.

So, but I've moved across to Junior Taskmaster now, so I've been across that.

That's been fun.

I hope it's a career for life.

Yeah,

we'll phone you again.

We'll phone you again when Junior Taskmaster comes out.

During the blobby round of Junior Taskmaster, all the kids are like, who is this guy?

Thank you so much, Sophie.

That's been really, really, really

weird and interesting and fun.

Thank you.

Thanks.

Bye-bye, guys.

Bye.

I've got to reassess Blobby.

I mean, hello, that's two of them now.

And that's it.

That's 2024.

Right there.

Done.

Thank you so much for listening.

Hope you've enjoyed reliving some of our best moments of 2024.

We'll be back next week with our homework, which is covering Series 12, episode 4.

And for people in the know, that is the There's Been Another Revelation in the Lab episode.

So I think it's going to be a lot of fun.

I love homework.

Isn't homework great?

If you have more homework suggestions, or if you've got some goofs or some bloops that you've noticed while re-watching the show, email us in, because you never know, you may email in a question so good that it gets next year's or this year's

best of compilation.

And you could be listening to your own question this time next year and thinking, wow, I'm such a smart person for asking such a good, intelligent question that made Jack have a nervous breakdown or Jenny attack Jack through the medium of Zoom.

There's only one place to email, if all those things sound really good.

You should email fans at taskmaster.tv and remember to rate and subscribe.

Please, please, please.

Hope you're having a very, very merry end of festive period because it is still the festive period if you're listening to this on the day it comes out.

And have a fantastic 2025.

Goodbye.

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