Mike Wozniak - Series 20 Ep.7

Hello there, it's Ed Gamble and welcome to the Taskmaster Podcast, the podcast where we discuss, I say all things Taskmaster, specifically the episode you've just watched, hopefully, Series 20, episode 7.

I mean, what a great series this is.

Series 19 was amazing.

This has been amazing.

What a run Taskmaster is on.

What a great lineup as well.

We have interviewed all of the lineup on the podcast so far.

So now it's special guest time.

People who have been on the show today,

we have a wonderful special guest.

It's the incredible Mike Wozniak.

Yes, we packed Mike into our little caravan and we got him to talk all about this brilliant new lineup and specifically episode seven.

But before we get into the chat, I must tell you, you've got to go and see Mike's new tour.

He's got a brand new stand-up tour.

It's called The Bench.

It's coming to venues across the UK and Ireland in 2026.

Just in case you're wondering, it's a show about a bench.

Sign up to Mike's mailing list for tour presale.

www.mrmikewozniak.com.

Highly recommended.

I've not seen this particular show, but Mike is simply one of the best.

If you loved him on Taskmaster, you will love his stand-up.

So let's get into it.

This is Taskmaster Series 20, episode 7, as discussed by Mike Wozniak.

Welcome, Mike, to the Taskmaster podcast.

Thank you, Ed.

Delight to have you here.

Delight to have you in the little caravan.

It's lovely, isn't it?

It's nice.

It's had a lick of paint, hasn't it?

Has it really?

I think so.

I mean, if this is it after it's been done up.

Yeah, this is post-renovation.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's, we're just, just for the listener or watcher, also outside in the Taskmaster garden today, it stinks of shit.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

But we're, you know.

I don't think that's the house's fault.

I think there's something going on with some sewage somewhere.

Or some golfers.

There's a lot of nearby golfers and they are of a certain age.

They are.

We don't want to make them feel bad about it.

Or maybe they're waddling around from green to green with trousers full of

that's why they have those plus-four trousers

to tie up at the end.

Yeah, yeah.

Mike, you're going on tour.

We're going to get in a plug for it right now.

Oh, nice.

Yeah, you're going on tour.

It's called the bench.

It is called the

really, it's a very exciting title.

And a bench is pivotal to the.

Okay, that's good.

It's not just you weren't sitting on a bench when you thought, I'll tour again.

Well, yeah, yeah.

I was sitting on a bench.

Yeah, and I thought, I'll tour again.

I thought, what can I write about?

And I thought,

why don't I write about a bench?

Right, the whole thing in one sitting?

Yeah, and then put some dates in them and panicked.

You know the system.

You're performing at venues including London's Soho Walthamstow.

Yes.

Yes.

I've got all the information here.

Blimey.

We're doing it.

We're getting all over.

And that's near me, that.

Well, you should come.

So I'll pop down.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Is that a promise?

No, I don't know what date it is.

Don't break my heart.

No, no, no.

It's not a promise.

It's a potential.

I like the idea of going to see it.

Bristol's the old Vic.

Yeah, I love that place.

Yeah, it's a beautiful theatre.

Yeah.

York's Grand Opera House.

Yeah.

That's another beautiful theatre.

That's an ambitious one as well, I think.

What are we talking, 1200?

It's a potential hubris date.

Yeah, okay, nice.

Well, if you live in York, please either go and see Morris or it's Environs.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or yeah, that's crucial.

If you're in the Environs, you can also go.

And Dublin's Ambassador Theatre.

Yeah.

Among many others.

Yeah, all over the place.

All over it.

I'm reading this word for word.

That's great.

Yeah.

Do come.

It's a labour of love.

A labour of love.

Yeah.

MikeWozniak.com for tickets.

Crumbs.

Let's talk Taskmaster, Mike.

Please.

Is it nice nice to be back at the house?

I love being here.

It's home away from home.

And it's also, it's really nice to see what the art guys have done with that gang with it with the setup.

Yeah, it's kind of incredible.

It's a lot of miscellany here and there.

Whenever we show up and there's like a new series being filmed or they flip the house to a new theme,

where they keep coming up with these ideas.

It's extraordinary, isn't it?

Yeah.

Especially when you look back at Series 1.

I think I saw a clip of Series 1 pop up recently.

And the theme is just house.

The theme is just, I can't believe we're allowed to make this show.

Let's get in there.

It's serial killer's house is the theme, really.

Sort of saw ride.

That's superb.

I love it.

Yeah.

It's a very relaxing environment, actually.

I feel a bit jealous as well.

I want to play again.

Do you know what I mean?

And that always happens every time I'm watching it at home, you know.

Does it really?

Always want to play, always want another go.

We could probably sort something out for you while you're here.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Great.

Sometimes, I mean, I don't know how much, how many of the team are here today, but sometimes they might be testing testing something out.

That's true.

I did a little test here once for a task.

Did you?

Yeah.

Could we

be as a team?

How would we be as a team?

I've got a feeling you might be the sort of alpha.

No, I no, no, no, because I think you're quietly alpha.

Oh, nice.

Because I think you've got the sort of

you've got the dad's skills.

Yeah.

So I think you'd have to use your dad's skills on me.

Puppeteer manipulator.

Puppeteer manipulator.

That's our parents.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Absolutely.

You'd basically I'd be throwing a tantrum.

Yeah.

And then you'd quietly sort of make deals with me.

Yeah.

If you calm down now, then later on, we can go and get an ice cream.

That sort of stuff.

I think that's what would have to happen.

Okay.

How do you think we might be quite a good team?

I think we'd be quite effective.

Because I'm like, you know,

smash everything open with a rock.

That's my.

I'm like, caveman approach the taskmaster.

And you...

I'm happy to pick through the through the rubble.

Yeah, but you can make something amazing from the rubble.

You're creative, you're thoughtful.

Yeah.

And I'm like, let's get this done.

I'd feel safe with you around as well would you yeah well that's nice to know yeah I don't feel safe with me around sometimes we're talking about series 20 episode 7 tell me what you think of this lineup Mike

I absolutely love this lineup it's a great lineup it's got I mean for a start I mean Reese Shay Smith is one of my ultimate heroes of all time yes same you know and and so that's that's exciting to see

And then, but they're all brilliant.

They're all brilliant.

And stand up, of the stand-ups, the trio of kind of stand-ups, I mean, they're all just, they're all rock and roll.

They're amazing.

They've all had me sort of rolling around on the floor laughing.

Yeah, they're so funny.

In the past and so different.

I'm also enjoying the very clear sort of the sort of decades kind of age thing that's going on.

That's quite a pleasing.

It's really nice to watch.

I mean, I don't think Sanjeev and Reese are necessarily

enjoying the fact that a lot of tasks this series seem to have been an oldest goes first or and it's always Sanjeev's like, oh God.

okay

but it is nice it's the yeah the 20s 30s 40s 56 really neat and in the right order in the right order it's really pleasing stuff yeah bit of order from the chaos that's what we want isn't it um let's talk about this episode though yeah episode seven drier than you think chalk yes is the name of the episode yes the prize task is the best thing you can either ride or rip yeah

quite an odd prize task man it's it's an odd one it's an odd it's it's sort of um it's not one i mean, I mean, these days, of course, I mean, they could put it all in AI, couldn't they?

What does that mean?

Talk me through what you mean by that.

I know what that means, but I think it involves an algorithm.

Right.

So when you say, who could put it all in AI?

The contestants could put it all in AI.

Or, yes, or for the idea or to get the...

The camera operator, I don't know, particularly.

A props master.

I'm not quite sure.

Or even just what does it mean?

Because sometimes there'll be a task and

you don't know

do you what do you actually mean?

Yeah, really.

What does that mean?

Is this sentence possible?

Does this sentence make sense?

And this is quite a tough one.

Ride or rip.

Ride or rip.

And also partic particularly, do you do you mean that?

Do you mean ride?

You can ride it or you can rip it.

Yeah.

Or do you mean it's one thing that can be ridden or ripped?

Yes.

And that's it.

What do you mean?

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

Or it can be ridden, but it can't, it could never rip it.

Yes, ride or rip is specific, but a couple of them went with ride and rip.

And some people used, I mean, let rip, for example.

Do you know what I mean?

The Castlevania example.

It's a tricky one.

It's not one where you can necessarily just say,

I'm going to construct a sort of extraordinarily large paper aeroplane.

Or a paper horse.

Or a paper horse.

Yeah.

For example.

Which is where my mind went straight away.

A big paper horse.

That is, you can operate.

Yes.

Yeah.

Because you could ride or.

Yes.

Does it have to be in motion if you're riding it?

Can you ride something that's stationary?

Yeah, when you're sitting on something that's stationary, is that just sitting on something?

Yes.

Or are you riding it?

Are you riding it?

Good question.

So a roller coaster, when you get on it and it's stationary before it moves, are you riding it at that point?

I don't think you are, are you?

Are you just assuming the position?

Yeah.

Are you bracing yourself?

Hmm.

These are all good questions.

This is why we should be in the studio all the time, Mike.

Exactly.

But

here's what we got from them.

Sanjeev brought in a hat for Alex Horne to wear with

Bell and wing mirrors, so you can then ride Alex Horn.

I thought this was a lovely and appealed to Greg's sensibilities.

Yeah, yeah,

I was a huge fan of that.

I thought that was spectacular.

And a bit of work had gone in.

Yeah.

I like to see a bit of work going in.

I respect arts and crafts because I'm not very good at the arts and crafts thing.

So the fact that someone has the skill to stick some things on a hat

blows my mind really.

I'm suspecting it wasn't necessarily Sanjeev who did the sticking.

How cynical.

Well, given that a lot of Sanjeev's prize tasks so far have been his own piss, I just don't think he's putting that much effort into

creating this thing.

I think he's obviously come up with the idea and it's a great idea.

I like to think he spent the whole rainy weekend dismantling

his old BMX.

Yeah, yeah.

You know, from back in the day.

He's getting out the dressing up cupboard, the whole works.

It's a great idea anyway.

Yeah.

And, you know, anything for Greg that approaches sort of a sort of dominant sadistic relationship with Alex, I think.

It's a nice idea.

And also,

that clearly.

Greg is, as you know,

he's a strong man and he's willing to use his strength

to make a point.

And I think if he was dissatisfied with Alex, if he was riding Alex,

he would be able to rip that hat asunder.

So you could ride and rip.

You could ride and rip, yeah.

Yeah, no problem.

I think there's probably someone out there who writes fan fiction about Greg and Alex who has written a fan fiction where Alex is a bike and Greg's riding him.

That's true.

Probably not in any of the positions that Sanjeev sits in.

No, no, no, no.

Only one way to secure yourself on that bike.

Yeah.

And I think we have to agree.

Alex would be in motion to a degree.

Yeah.

You can't not be.

You can't not be if Greg's the rider.

It's just Newtonian physics, isn't it?

It's just basic stuff.

Yeah.

Phil brings in two coconuts with a ribbon, so you can wear them like mittens.

So this is the clever double meaning here.

Yeah, so he's ripping off Monty Python.

Yes, which I like riding, but he's not riding.

No,

no,

it's a bit of a thought experiment one.

It's a bit of a head scratch.

And I think he was rescued by...

I mean, the ribbon, I think, was, that's a delicious touch.

Yeah.

I like that.

And the ribbon looks fantastically long as well.

I don't know if that was...

Greg-specific or...

Well, yeah, I guess...

It looked like it was about four meters long.

Yeah, I get...

Well, we're we're measuring from one of Greg's hands

all the way up his coat sleeve across his back, which is magnificent.

And then all the way down another arm.

So I think you would need about four metres, wouldn't you?

You probably would need about four metres.

Yeah, yeah.

It's an imaginative

take on the task.

I didn't think Greg was massively taken

with it.

And I wasn't, I mean, as soon as Phil presented that,

I thought you're going to get crapped on here.

I mean, he's still got three points, but I think Greg's in a very generous mood this series so far.

Okay, yeah.

Yeah.

I think he's giving out points, especially with the price task.

Do you think he's softening?

Do you think he's softening

in his old age?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

In his dosage.

Yeah.

I think this Taskmaster is going to end with Greg just hooked up to loads of machines in the studio.

More machines than man.

Yeah, he's going, oh, five points.

Yeah, it's true because I like the way that Phil played

with the meaning of the...

That's really nice.

But I think back in the day, like if Rod Gilbert had presented that, there would have been a 10-minute argument.

Yeah,

he'd have been given no points and there would have been a huge row.

Yeah.

And now, a bit more gentle, but he's not riding anything.

No.

But he has rips.

So there's a rip there.

Yes.

And

he's deployed the ore.

Yes, hole.

Yeah, and deployed it half.

The ore hole.

The ore hole.

Yeah.

Maisie brings in a personalized Greg Davis penny farthing.

Yes.

It doesn't look real to me on the picture.

No.

Do you see?

No, and a very strange choice with the seat size as well.

I feel like.

Tiny little seat.

It's a really strange, like that's disappearing up him, isn't it?

Do you know what I mean, isn't it?

And easy to remove, I think, mercifully.

Yeah.

Yeah, the whole thing's never going up.

It's just a seat.

There is.

Who is it?

There's someone who rides around London in a penny farthing.

Is it one of the Vines?

Someone does it.

One of the Vines.

One of the Vine brothers.

I thought you were talking about the

defunct social media.

It might have been one of those.

Yeah.

Well, it's not Jeremy.

I mean, he posts videos of him from his bike helmet.

Okay.

Of like, you know, oh,

a car got in the way on the road.

It's like, yeah, you're on the road, mate.

Cars are going to be there.

Okay, so

he's not going to be trying it on with a penny farving.

God, no.

No, this is someone I think poodles around Richmond Park.

I mean, if Tim Vine poodles around Richmond Park and I think it's a good thing.

I don't think think it's Tim.

Because he's Tim Vine enough.

He doesn't need that.

I'd love it, though.

But Greg, on a penny farthing.

Yes, the penny.

Well, I used to live in south-west London.

Yep.

And there was a man who'd regularly ride down New King's Road on a penny farthing.

Right.

And I saw him fall off it once, and it's the most I've ever laughed.

Oh, delicious.

Was he in all the gear as well?

No, he sort of...

Would you mean like Victorian gear?

Yeah.

No.

Imagine if you're doing it, it's usually a sort of affectation, right?

No, he genuinely seemed like he was commuting.

I see.

There was also a man who used to walk around with two blue parrots on his shoulder.

Same shoulder, different shoulders?

What were we talking about?

Different shoulders.

They were huge, these things, yeah.

But he would walk around like they weren't there.

If I had two blue parrots on my shoulder, I'd constantly be going like, I know, look at my parrots.

This guy was like, what are you looking at?

But that's it.

It was a posh area of London.

So

it was, they were eccentric rather than mentally ill.

Yes.

I think that's how people categorise these things.

Okay.

Yeah.

But Greg on a penny farthing, I mean, he's going to be fatal to Greg and bystanders, I think.

Yeah.

Oh, God, if he falls off.

Yeah.

Doesn't bear thinking about.

But, you know,

I didn't necessarily like it as a prize.

It's a difficult prize.

It's a beautiful object.

Yeah.

You know, so

I get it, but I think it's just the safety first element of my nature

makes me want to have a word with Maisie.

And

have you really thought this through?

Come on.

Reese brings in the Evil Knievel Ripcord toy yes I thought this was great it's beautiful it's a beautiful object

and Ripcord do you know what I mean he's gone slightly he's gone slightly you know off you know

off lane there off off grid off lane off the track off piste off piste off piece he's gone off something yeah

the headstone and the headstone the rip headstone nice little league of gentlemen touch isn't it it just felt like it was perfect he'd found the perfect object yeah to cover the thing and greg says it was his favorite toy so why does he only get two points it's a collectible sure it's collectible

it's fun to use it's fun to watch it's a talking point if you had it on your mantelpiece it's it's a great talking point you know i think if reese had it as on his mantelpiece you wouldn't there'd be so many other things to talk about yeah I mean, that guy's house sounds

crazy.

Yeah, yeah.

I want to go to his house so badly.

Yeah, there's going to be, yeah, weird stuffed animals, cryptozoological sort of evidence, that kind of stuff.

Yeah.

Blood from famous murders.

It would pop out.

It seems too plastic.

It feels like it would pop out somehow.

It wouldn't.

It would pop out.

Well,

I imagine most things there are going to be like have elements of bone or feather.

Oh, yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or something sort of spectral.

Yeah.

So just a sort of a plastic toy from the 80s or 70s.

Yeah.

It's going to stand out.

Maybe it needs its own special room.

Yes.

It's just a massive white room.

Yeah.

Just with that in the...

Or just or a special box that you put your head in.

Yeah.

And you are the buses that evil's going to jump over.

Face up.

Mike,

move in with me.

Let's just.

Let's talk.

Let's all abandon our lives and just move in together and build that.

I would love that.

First thing in the morning, pop your head in the box.

Isn't he going to make it?

Pretend you're a bus.

Look, isn't he going to make it?

Anya, now this is my favourite.

Oh, yeah.

Brings in a toilet scooter.

Yeah.

And I'll be honest, when I saw it on the the screen, I was like,

that looks like they've done it with AI.

I completely agree.

I thought someone had put that together.

And there she is.

There she is, poodling around.

She's riding it.

Yeah.

It's functioning.

It does the biz.

I thought it was a stroke of genius.

It was beautiful.

And you can ride and you can let it rip.

And I know for a fact, I mean,

I know that Greg, like if that was commercially available.

He would have it.

He would have it.

Because he loves his gadgets.

Yeah.

He loves having a shit.

Yeah.

And taking his time with it.

And he's very lazy.

Exactly.

As we all know, well, me and you know.

Yeah.

When we were writing Man Down with Greg, started off in an office.

Yeah.

Very quickly it was, do you mind coming over to my flat?

Do you mind washing me on the toilet?

Do you mind

11.40 a.m.

every day.

Excuse me, lads.

Off to the toilet.

Yeah.

20 minutes, half an hour, we say.

Yeah, at least you've got time for an episode of, you know, Melgo in the middle or something.

Do you know what I mean?

It was time for a proper break.

Yeah.

Whatever it might be.

Then he'd come back.

We'd work for another couple of hours around 2 p.m.

Sorry, we're going to call it a day, lads.

My head's full of bees.

Heads full of bees.

Heads full of bees, lads.

Yeah.

And particularly if you could get his head full of bees, then you might get off his ear.

Do you know what I mean?

Because you were going to get too many contradictory suggestions.

Absolutely beautiful.

And also, I think

with that trolley-rideable bog, I mean, if he, if he could, was able to upgrade it to,

you know, sort of Japanese system or with the b washer.

Yeah, choice of, or even just a B-Day or

something.

Do you know what I mean?

I guess the issue with it is not plumbed in.

I don't think Greg's worrying about that, do you know what I mean?

Yeah, because Greg can always find someone who can sort that out.

Do you know what I mean?

Because also, the good thing about the scooter is

you can leave the scene of the crime immediately.

Exactly.

Yeah.

And a pace.

Yeah.

Drop and drive.

Drive by dumb.

I thought it was a class act.

Yeah, class act.

Rhys got two points.

Phil got three points, Maisie got four points, and Sanjeev and Anya got five points each.

I was surprised that Sanjeev got the five points, but I'm always happy for him.

Phil.

Right, so this is something that

you were ripping and riding at the same time.

If you'd like to show, here it is.

Check this out.

So you're ripping off a very famous Monty Python joke

and you're riding an imaginary, could be a pony could be a horse could be a camel depends on what leader and it's I've put a nice little ribbon on it so you can wear it around like mittens for your coat

because if you lose one you're just a madman waving around half a coconut yeah the M1 but when you're on the M1 you've got two you look yeah yeah great they go oh don't beat your horn near him it'll startle her

I like it Task one, it's a team task.

Steal the statue of Archimedes.

You have 15 minutes of observation and preparation in the van, then 15 minutes to carry out your heist.

Most sophisticated, successful heist wins.

Your time starts now.

This gave me flashback.

So there was a task in series nine, which is the series I did, where we had a van thing.

It was an individual task.

We got in like a spy van type thing, and we had to get a message to Alex.

I remember it.

He was sat over there.

And I hated that task.

It didn't make sense.

I thought it was poorly put together.

And that was the problem.

And that was the problem rather than that I did not plan how to get the message to Alex, really.

Sent a doppelganger over for no reason, and then just ran top pace.

I didn't know who we were avoiding,

I didn't know who we wouldn't, I was supposed to be looking at us.

So,

yes, well,

this was triggering for you.

It was triggering for me.

I was desperately excited.

This one was where I was particularly envious.

You'd be good at this.

I love a heist.

I mean, I'm a sucker for any kind of heist

movie.

You're also, and this is a compliment, very sneaky.

Thank you.

Okay, I take that as a compliment.

I can imagine you in a black leotard doing the scene from Entrapment, the Catherine Zetha Jones.

Thank you.

Bum under the label.

Mike's OnlyFans is just him recreating famous sexy movies and Catherine Zeta Jones.

In full.

Yeah.

Your darling buds have made exceptional.

No, I would have been excited by this as a team task because also there's...

It's got to be a team task.

Yeah, this one.

There's a lot of clues.

There's a lot of ways you can plan it.

And

would you have planned it to the end of the day?

Planning is key here.

Do you know what I mean?

People panic.

Do you know what I mean?

Well, they did.

They're using up the planning time just

panicking.

Yeah.

Really?

I mean, to the point where, like,

Rhys and Maisie,

I mean,

Rhys has devised so many extraordinary kind of criminal acts

and devious acts in fiction.

Yes.

I thought

he's going to be great.

He's going to be an absolute mastermind.

The two of them went for a sort of smash and grab job.

It was really a smash and grab job.

Bulldozer into the nationwide.

They also, even though...

Clearly on the screen, on their map, it said camera room.

They could see Alex go into the camera room and every single time he went into the the camera room, they decided that was the time to run towards the house when they were fully on camera.

It was so frustrating to watch.

Yeah, yeah.

Very funny, though.

I mean, maybe

that was sort of how crime is, I think, most of the time.

I think crime is mostly just sort of desperate idiots making an absolute pig's ear of a

should be a simple task.

It was very real.

I mean, the

I wouldn't have been surprised if they had actually subdued Alex.

I thought there was the real risk that they might, you know, get a rubber kosh across the back of his head at some point yeah they're both they're the two angriest yeah so you would expect that might happen and then one of them might they have to bury a body

talking out of hand very very quickly and leaving the country um and then yeah eventually they just

they literally rip the rip the whole box out of out of the hutch and run into the van very funny i'm glad someone did it this way an amazing moment where alex asks maisie her name.

And I don't know why she...

Within the character, she was like, I can't say Maisie.

Yeah.

So she went, oh, Lindsay.

Which I think was the name of one of the twins from another team task, right?

Oh, yeah.

So when they did the twins task, one of them was called Lindsay.

So they'd clearly done that just before.

So when she had to come up with a fake name, she went, Lindsay.

Just came up with the first name, the last name she was.

She's named better than Phil's Pip, I think.

Pip was not

an ideal pseudonym.

And he said he released an album in the 90s.

Did you hear that?

Well, Pip released a famous album in the 90s.

That trio, at least they did try for some sophistication.

They tried, they got the code.

They had the tropes.

They observed the routine.

They did the stakeout.

Yeah.

Do you know what I mean?

They hit a couple of heist tropes, which I think.

They did.

Yeah,

they got the code for in here, which is the guard room or whatever.

Yeah.

They found a little figure that they were going to use because they knew it was a weight sensor.

That was a lovely bit of the Indiana Jones action there.

Really good.

Indiana Jones slash Mission Impossible.

I mean, it's a trope, a classic.

Yeah.

And they nearly, I mean, Anya nearly did it.

Yeah.

She got in there, she replaced it, the alarm didn't go off, but then she

stepped on the mat on the way out.

I mean, even that's a high stroke, right?

Do you know any plans go wrong?

It's all going perfectly well until

it isn't.

You know, in a moment of reckless relief, that's the moment when things go wrong.

So you're happy to see high stropes, even if they were mistakes, even if they're mistakes, because these happen within the heist.

It can't be that everything goes to plan.

Yeah, you know, you want that halfway point, something's gone wrong.

What

chain was too long to keep the guard in the toilet?

Is that a high strope?

This is what I was going to ask.

Is that a classic high strope where they try and chain locking up the guard is locking up the guard is, but not

by draping a chain loosely near the door?

Just push the door open

and then pretend.

And then realize that something's wrong.

Yeah.

It's a nice idea, though.

Yeah.

And ripping the wires out of the cameras, which Alex said they did not know that they were going to do.

Well, that's brilliant.

Again, is the tech guy does it?

That's the, there weren't too many, there weren't enough people in the team.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah.

If it weren't for them, the tech genius, I'll do that thing.

Yeah.

He's not, you know, doors aren't his thing.

He's definitely used that toilet or he's seen that toilet in use.

Yeah.

It opens outwards.

Do you know what I mean?

You can't lock a door that opens outwards by securing it to something that's physically outside it.

That's absolutely insane.

You need a wedge.

You need a wedge.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

You need a wedge.

You know, and he's a very wedgy kind of man.

Do you know what I mean?

He has wedges on his

person.

On his shape, the shape of his body.

The shape of his body.

He has wedges of hair.

He's a man of many wedges.

Are you suggesting Phil should have wedged himself?

I'm suggesting he could have wedged himself.

I'm suggesting he would have had loose wedges on him.

I think there's he's spoilt for choice wedge-wise.

Yeah, maybe that's the problem.

He's got his blinkers on.

Yeah, and that's what we're positioning.

He's too close to wedges.

Yeah, yeah.

It was in the end pretty successful.

I mean, I thought that, because they showed that first, I thought that was going to be the disaster one.

And Maisie and Rhys were going to do it without a hitch and not set the alarm off.

Right.

But

instead, we get Maisie squawking out of the van to alert.

The two of them just running around.

Yeah.

Just see-through umbrella and panicking.

Yeah.

The seether umbrella.

That's that reminded me of like David Bediel a bit.

That thing where you've got

someone who's got such an incredible body of work, and you know they've got a brilliant, brilliant, brilliant mind.

Yes.

Capable of the most incredible lateral thought.

And yet

that same person is capable of trying to hide themselves under a see-through umbrella.

Yeah.

Wonderful.

Wild, absolutely wild.

The squawk got me.

Squawk.

Well, they claim they're walking talking about.

It's so casual.

Yeah.

Shut the door.

Shut the door.

Look back.

Just completely unflapped.

Volume.

I thought, well, that one worked.

No one would have spotted that.

Yeah.

Used it before and use it again.

Yeah.

They must think it's just a duck or a goose.

He's in this van where the noise is clearly coming from, and then the door shuts.

Obviously, so up Greg Street, that any stupid noise.

Reese and Maisie get three points.

very lucky to get three.

I think so.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, because if that was a real heist, that's it.

Game over.

Yeah, they'd be dead.

Yeah, they'd be dead.

There's no Ocean 12 happening after that.

No one's mourning for them at all.

Yeah, they're the fool guys.

I mean, if it's a heist, possibly the mob is using them to rob a post office on the other side of town just so that the police are going in the other way.

So

they can get into the Millennium Dome.

Exactly.

Seen the documentary about that heist.

Now, I tried to.

I watched the first few minutes because I love a heist.

Yes.

And it just seemed like it was just quite an old man saying, I'm really clever, me, I'm really good, me.

It's interesting how they do their own stories.

I want to say something interesting.

Look at that.

Oh, I'm really good at crime.

Also, you're not because you wouldn't be talking about it.

Phil, Anya, and Sanji get the five points.

Yeah.

Hello.

Yeah, I just saw you on the camera.

Excuse me, I didn't know which way around I meant to be going.

I send you back to a car park.

podcast.

Sorry.

Right, what's your name?

Uh, Lindsay.

Starfroom alarm check.

Oh, come on.

He said he saw me on the camera.

Do you know what we do?

What?

We run in and we just grab that whole box and run out of it.

You reckon?

When he's in the loo, now?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Ready?

Go step on the bottom of the corner.

Task two, this was absolutely disgusting.

I've got quite a high threshold for disgust, but this is really awful.

Dribble a technicolor picture of your hero.

Your technicolor picture must only be made from things that have traveled directly from your mouth to the tray through the air and cannot be tampered with post-dribble.

Best technicolor dribble picture wins.

You have 15 minutes, your time starts now.

Yeah.

So I'm not squeamish at all.

The thing that would have made me anxious here as a participant would have been the arts and crafts element.

Yes.

Oh, the actual making the picture.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What would you have grabbed?

Because I think we need to talk about what Technicolor means.

Because Rhys did very well here.

Yeah.

But he used two colours, really.

Yes, he was.

Maisie got three points.

He was more chiaroscora, maybe.

Technicolor.

yeah, I think I would have lent on the technicolor thing because the hero bit is tricky as well, yeah.

Because then you think, you know, who are you going for?

Are you going for your Carolina hands or your Billy Connolly's?

But actually, I think I'd have pretended that my hero is probably

Pennywise, the dancing clown, or something.

Yes, you have to.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, for the technicolour and for the simplicity of it.

Just to show this is I've got no other means of showing that this is meant to be a human or humanoid

figure.

Do you know what I mean?

Or I'm eating my own moustache and spitting spitting out a chewback.

Do you know what I mean?

I think a lot of them realised that and a lot of them went with people that

they could make with their mouths.

Hucknell.

I mean, a lot of people's personal hero, of course.

Do you know what I mean?

A natural choice.

And if you've met Phil Ellis, you know he never stops talking about me.

He loves Hucknell.

He's always singing Fairground.

I was surprised he didn't have his little Hucknell pants on when he saw his lovely Hucknell pants.

Yeah.

I mean,

very poorly executed by Phil, I think, the Hucknell.

But understandably,

so.

Yeah, Rhys.

Reese, I mean, that was a clever move, I think, as well, because I think most people would have heard Dribbland and thought liquid.

Yeah.

I've got to get some food colourings and Magob.

He's chewing up coffee granules and bread.

He's going for.

Yeah.

It is smart.

And his comes out looking pretty good.

I mean, it does really look like dry.

He gets a bit of shape to it.

Yeah.

You wouldn't argue this.

I mean, it's a dribble.

It's a pretty solid.

Oh, it's a dribble.

It's a gob.

You know, sort of a bit of masticated gloop.

Yeah.

And the bat, I thought the bat and the dark moon that he puts in the corners

work.

And

you can guess what it is.

Yeah.

And you would be able to guess what it is, even if it didn't look like the thing.

If you had a bit of time, knowing who the man is.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're going to get there sooner or later.

Anya's, I thought, was a good idea because I think she

saw the squirty cream and was like, I can make a rough.

Yes.

Build outward from there.

Yeah.

william shakespeare great starting point yeah and i think it maybe deserved a little bit more than the one point

but it did look like gordon the gopher

yeah that's fair and also quite harrowing at points she's so she's so cheerful i'm a big fan of and yeah she's very very funny brilliant weird brain yeah

but also like very positive and cheerful even when it looks like a jellyfish is escaping from her.

Do you know what I mean?

It's a really sinister.

The whole jelly.

Yeah, the whole.

I feel like a living creature.

Do you know what I mean?

Or something from

something from another realm.

Because when she's got the whole jelly in her mouth, I thought, well,

she's going to dribble the jelly.

We're going to get.

She's going to be using the jelly in this sort of stream situation.

But no, then it would just all back up.

It came out like a weird sort of secondary space brain.

It was almost like, oh, that's why she's like that.

Yeah.

She's carrying around that weird creature.

Yeah, she's popped her new brain out.

Yeah, it did not go well.

I mean, it didn't look like William Shakespeare, but she very very technical but the yeah very technical and the rough was a and it was an outstanding move yes it was yeah hucknell i think is a nightmare i don't know how it got four points i mean i'm looking at them now i've actually got them up in front of me yeah just to remind you mike yes please there's the hucknell at the top it doesn't even look human no the hacknell

no

that yeah no the hacknell it looks more like a sort of um It's like a sort of pony and trap catastrophe from the sort of 19th century is what it makes me think of.

Do you know what I mean?

There's something bucolic but fatal about it.

Yes, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's it's pretty gross.

I mean, Sanji.

Hucknell after a sort of very strong blast

into a Nissoise.

Yes, maybe.

It's Hucknell post-Martin McCutcheon being sick in his hair.

Right, there we go.

Which is the only thing I think about when I think about Hucknell is once he was in a car with Martin McCutcheon.

She'd had too much champagne.

She was sick into his dreadlocks and he had to cut them off.

Because they never stopped smelling of Martin Bacas II.

That's magnificent.

Sanjeev did Gene Wilder.

So everyone else seemed to think

we'll go with someone that we could realize on this canvas.

And Sanjeev's genuinely gone with his hero, I think, and he's gone with Gene Wilder and it looks insane.

Who is a distinctive looking man?

Sure, but not that distinctive.

Sanjeev looks like he's done his, then held it upside down for a year.

Was he trying to wonker it?

I don't know i don't know he was going for technicolour but it does look like a kid's it looks like a kid's painting doesn't it yeah but not of a man

of something something's going on well of a sort of very friendly worm or something yeah i think you know i think he should have changed it then in the studio and said it was actually i decided to do and you've cut it out a very friendly worm my hero is a very friendly worm

um

let's talk about maisie because i don't know how maisie is doing well at taskmaster

Because she's getting points here.

Yeah.

You know, there's some.

She's one of life's winners.

Yeah, she's one of life's winners.

But how?

Because I've seen her on a football field.

Yeah, she's very good at that.

Yeah.

But this is not a football field.

No.

Taskmaster is the opposite of football.

I think people who are good in competitive environments,

sometimes they just plow on through

sheer will.

Yeah.

Iron and grit.

She has grit.

Even though this is one of the dumbest things I've ever seen, she just doesn't leave the room.

No.

She sees Technicolour.

There's nothing around her that could be used.

Everyone else, she goes,

did they tell you you should leave?

She's on the show.

She's been on the show.

She knows the show.

She's bright.

We know she's bright.

Do you know what I mean?

I doubt that now.

After this, I see.

She's a prolific writer.

Yeah,

I really doubt this.

But this is what I love about the show.

It's like, you know, it's like that heist thing.

It's when you see these people brought low in moments of panic.

And there were no even disruptors.

I mean, the lab can be quite disrupting to people's.

I mean, I don't want to skip ahead too much, but like the bopping thing.

Yeah.

Like,

I think some people think like when the task is coming up and it's not there, that's you know, it's just Alex being annoying.

It's not.

It's like it disrupts any sort of calm you've got before you go in.

It's like it's white noise and fiz in your brain.

Yes.

Deliberately to it's like spinning a person around before doing a

find a keepers sort of game or something like that.

You're being very generous.

She chewed up the task and gobbled it into Rod Stewart's face.

It was really basic stuff.

It was really basic.

I mean, it looks good.

It doesn't look like Rod Stewart, sure, but I get the aggressive assumption.

It's a sort of primordial self.

Do you know what I mean?

She's...

Yeah, it was atavistic.

Also,

I don't...

I've never heard her talk about Rod Stewart.

No.

She's panicked there as well, hasn't she?

She's panicked there, but that's interesting as well.

That's.

Why does that come out?

Maybe she's thinking of a recognisable silhouette as well.

I don't know, though.

I don't think it's even that.

I wonder if it's like a

first memory, sort of a car journey through the peak district and Rod Stewart's

is the tape and the cassette.

I think she's gone back that far.

She's gone too far.

She's gone back to factory settings in that task.

Yeah.

Rod School.

But yeah, to not leave the room and just use the paper is Alex must have been doing somersaults in his head when that was happening.

Yeah.

He loves it when that happens.

Of course.

To be able to go, let's have a look at Maisie and she's just chewing up the task.

You have to, and I, it's easy for us to say when we're out of it, but I think if you're, I think you're in any environment, but Taskmaster included, if you are

physically eating your instructions,

you must say, whoa, stop.

Think.

Think.

Take up at least 10 seconds of your time and think.

Is this the right way forward?

Is this what everyone's doing?

that applies to gcse yeah

all kinds of things you're sat in the exam hall yeah nuclear submarine orders do you know what i mean if you're whatever it is if you're your first recourse yeah to consume it

it's worth it it's worth the pause and a second go stop think

this is good advice this is good life advice from my wasn't

um it was somehow uh one point one point for anyo with the william shakespeare yeah amazing two points for sanjeev's gene wilder Three points for Maisie's Paper Ross Shoe.

It was baffling just because there was the shape of a

shape of a face.

But again, I mean, going back to basics, that's one of the few things.

Do you know what I mean?

Even the most basic, you know.

Yeah.

Childhood, that's one of the first things that they draw.

It really is factorizing stuff.

Four points for Phil's Mick Hucknell.

Extraordinary.

Because it had some sense of animation.

I think Anya was cheated in this one.

Anyway was cheated.

I mean, it does.

Looking back at it, it really does look like Gordon the Gopher.

Yeah,

it's unarguably dreadful.

But this is relative, isn't it?

Yeah.

And I think

you can only give Rhys the five points.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Even though it's not technicolour

in my definition of technicolour.

Yeah.

And I can define it however I want, Mike.

Well, that's it.

And I mean, Rhys is famously, he's something of a sine-ass, doesn't it?

He could probably find some

sort of 50s definition of technicolour from the lab that would, yeah, I mean, he'd have you up and he'd tie you up in ribbons and stuff.

Oh, God.

He does anyway.

Yeah.

He just looks at you and you're like, oh, man.

Don't get angry, Reese.

Let's start with Shakespeare.

Let's.

Everyone's a hero, really.

This is Anya's take on William Shakespeare.

So let's focus on the rough.

Yeah, the rough is there.

The rough is there.

I did actually make a note.

I was surprised by how much the squirty cream looked like a rough when it was going.

It's good, isn't it?

And then, so that's his pen, his quill, the red at the bottom.

I mean, honest to God, it's rubbish.

And then then the orange is like back because it was in medieval times that that's like the what air looked like that

pollution, because they didn't have air conditioning because of the smog.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, no, it is good.

Because this is bugging me slightly, yeah.

It was in the late 1600s.

Yeah.

It was pre-smog.

They didn't have factories.

Good point.

Someone doesn't know about the Industrial Revolution.

Task three, get exactly 63 points by bopping Alex on the head.

Great fun.

You must shout a different type of food every bop to register the bop.

If you bop anyone other than Alex, five bops will be deducted from your total score.

You must stay in the hutch.

Fastest wins.

Your time starts on the whistle.

Great fun.

Good, clean fun.

Fairground business.

Violent.

Yeah.

Lots of tiny little faces popping up here and there.

Love it.

Splat the rat, but all around.

Splat the rat whack-a-mole.

Yeah.

It's got all of that feeling to it.

Obviously, the dream is, and I think you would have done this, and I think I would have done this, is to catch Alex off guard, get him straight away.

Lure him in.

Yeah.

And he was wearing, who was it where he was wearing the Greg mask?

Yeah.

Well,

I'd have had that off him in seconds.

Yeah, gone.

And I'm sure he's lurable.

Do you know what I mean?

Oh, he's lurable.

Yeah.

I mean, you could fake injury.

Fake a piece of cheese.

Do you know what I mean?

Fake a piece of cheese.

Yeah, chocolate de claire or whatever it is.

Alex.

I think he was gettable.

I mean, people do get him at some point.

But I think straight away, if you've got the measure of the task,

you're like, Alex, so I don't really understand, is it?

Because he can't stay away.

No.

If you're asking questions.

He wants to be around.

If he's there with his little clipboard, you know.

You could just, you could hide probably somewhere in there.

Yeah.

He'd come and find you.

You know, it could all tempt him in saying that you can, you know, you've got a shoe repair kit.

You can sort out his sort out his loafers.

That's so tempting.

Yeah.

Yeah, if you said,

come on in, Ed, I've got a shoe repair kit.

Try and keep me away.

But no, no one gets him straight away.

I mean, this is so much fun to watch.

Again, they had, I think, but they also didn't have to tot it up, did they?

I was surprised at that.

Yes, I thought that was going to be the advice.

It was a very slippery Alex.

I thought that they would have had to do their own scores, but maybe that just would have been too ridiculously important.

I don't think they would have ever finished it if that was the case.

Because, yeah, Alex does the totting for them.

I mean, I don't want to hammer Maisie too hard in this episode, but I have written this might be Maisie's dumbest episode yet.

Because this forgets to do the food thing for so long.

It's just like hitting things and going,

why are you not putting a body done?

And then indignant.

Seems to forget what all foods are as well.

Really panicked.

But I understand that.

No, that's an amazing effect that Tarsus will have on you.

expect you to list anything yeah you can really disappoint yourself yeah absolutely could be foods colors countries anything yeah it's all gone yeah she does it i mean she she does it fine in the end she only gets the two points does it in six minutes 39 but she wouldn't have wanted that hand holding no you know no really she doesn't even spot the task to start with

it took an incredibly long time absolutely mad yeah um a few of them cotton on which i don't think i would have done to grab a head and just hold on to it and keep hitting it.

Yeah.

It feels quite brutal.

That's it.

And I think a bit of me would have thought that it was one hit per

face or something.

I think that's

a good thing.

Exactly.

I'd put my own rules in, but it's not there, is it?

No.

And they do love a flippy cushion, don't they?

They love a cushion.

Love a flippy cushion.

Yeah, love a flippy cushion.

Thank you.

Reese tries to get Alex straight away.

but does a really good job of bopping away.

I'd be very frustrated at that point where you go over 63.

Yeah.

He's like, you've got to come back down again.

You've got to get some Gregs.

I'd be livid.

Anya's foods,

lots of crumble.

I think she was going through a bit of a crumble phase.

I feel like you could almost geolocate where she lives at the moment based on the

Poke Bowl.

Apple crumble.

Frangipan.

Frangipan tart.

She was going through a curve.

You're in a very specifically five metre squared of Stoke Newington, aren't you?

Yeah.

Do you know what I mean?

I sent her a link to there's a place in Borough Market that does like crumble.

You queue up and they give you it's like a crumble thing.

And she went there, like, I think 40 minutes later, after I think.

So I think it was maybe.

And this is what everyone who's outside of London thinks is happening.

Yeah, people are queuing for crumble.

They've opened a cafe now.

It just does.

Crumble, it just does

crust.

Do you know what I mean?

What it is, it doesn't matter what it is.

Yeah.

You're coming for it.

Yeah, yeah.

And it's on instagram yeah and you have to queue for three hours yeah three hours and then all they're doing today is just it's the sticks that a kebab was on

that you can lick delicious and i would absolutely fall for that every time um but this was total chaos i loved it um

i love the note that daisy the producer's made here uh um Sanjeev on a roll before going over, then spams the one points and gets the 63 with a great curry run at the end.

He went on the curry run.

He went on the curry run and why not?

A joy, an absolute joy.

This is also the sort of task that could easily be its own.

I mean,

you could franchise that across the world and it could be just that.

Do you know what I mean?

Like escape mirrors or de-stress rooms or whatever they're called.

It's just rage, raid rooms.

Rage rooms, that's it.

That's what it felt like to me.

Fairground.

I mean, just that.

That could be a thing very easily.

Are you going on a run of food?

Because I think that's the key, isn't it?

Is to lock into a category.

Yeah.

What run do you think you're going on?

Get your cuisines in.

Yeah.

I think I'm going.

I think I'm going trad 80s pub food, your steak and kidney suit puddings.

Bop.

Your fish and chips.

Bop.

Your steak and kidney pie.

Bop.

Your chicken and leek pie.

Bop.

Your Sunday roast.

Bop.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

Your scamby fries, your pork scratchings,

all the way through.

I guess with the roast, then you've got to break down the roast into its constituent parts.

I think that's useful.

Yeah, right there.

Do you know what I mean?

The roast is...

Beef, lamb, gravy.

Potatoes, parsnips, carrots.

Different types of potatoes.

Different types of potatoes.

Yeah.

Dauphinoirs.

Boulanger.

Yeah, see, we're getting back into this sort of East

Your East London business now.

Sorry, chips.

MASH.

And Spunge like it.

Jackette.

We should just go and play this now, I think.

But we'd just name the foods and hit each other with a hammer.

A real hammer.

Yeah, but I would have to give you the category of food.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm absolutely rinsing you at that game if you can.

I know you are.

I know you are.

What category would you give me to try and trip me up?

Ooh,

there probably isn't anything, isn't there?

Tibetan breakfast foods.

Yeah, I'm out.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Bacon, egg.

Probably.

Yeah, yeah.

Coco pops.

Reese gets the one point, sadly.

I mean, he just takes far too long.

Maisie gets the two points.

Sanjeev gets the three points.

Phil gets the four points, and Anya gets the five points.

Yeah, nice to see.

Poke bowl.

Poke bowl.

Ah, beef.

49.

Pork, 59.

Bacon.

69.

You've got too many now.

Now you need to take a few Gregs.

Mashed potato.

Sticky toppy pudding.

Guts cheese tart.

52.

Beetroot.

57.

Pork belly.

Right.

Carrot cake.

Apple turnovers.

Right.

Right.

We're now on 59.

Bananas.

Okay, you're on 62 now, so you just need one of me that's worth one.

Bendy, onion barges, tikka masala, Jal Frazi.

I'll stop the clock.

Cheese!

Stop the clock.

Oh, machine!

Got it.

I'll stop the clock.

Thank you.

Oh, God.

Live task.

I know you would have loved this.

This is magnificent.

I want nothing more than to see you do this, Mike Wilson.

This is absolutely magnificent.

Avoid the Taskmaster's big ball.

You must stand on the circle, but you must not step on any gold.

You must be facing and staring at the Taskmaster sign at all times.

And after the Taskmaster releases his big ball, you may each take one step.

The first person touched by the Taskmaster's big ball.

Each round is eliminated.

Last player standing wins.

A lot of fun.

And one where when Greg is so happy as well.

Do you know what I mean?

I mean, yeah, I think.

When he is godlike, he's physically above everyone else holding it.

Yeah, he's still kind of baddy from kind of the barbarian type.

Yeah, it's lovely stuff to see.

This is one where Maisie actually,

the brain did kick into gear.

Yes, absolutely.

But she gravitates towards the bullseye.

Yeah.

Which is the, I think that's the key.

Which is clearly where it's going last.

And she, I mean, it's no surprise to me that her and Anya

were the last two.

Yes, because they

they're like they can move their

limbs.

There's a lot of movement.

There's like bending all over.

They have functioning joints.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Whereas Sanjeev just

Sanjeev is just one block of word.

He's just waiting.

He's he's running out the clock.

He's just waiting.

It's coming.

Death is coming.

Do you know what I mean?

It might have been the ball that did it.

He's had a good run.

Yeah.

Reese again, I didn't think he's never sort of pretended to be particularly athletic.

I mean, he's amazing on stage.

He can do posture, gesture, movement.

Sure.

Yeah.

Dodging, not so much i think he's in good he's in good nick though rhys he got annoyed when greg said they were the same age because he's like yeah but not not in the same health

so i think

i think he's in good nick yeah um and phil goes first phil is a beautiful sight in that kind of environment yeah i feel like i could

I could watch that all day.

You could make a YouTube channel of just Phil probably

in his wire fronts in his vest, dodging a big golden ball

All day long.

I mean, it didn't work for him.

The ball seemed to hate Phil.

The ball went straight for Phil.

Bye-bye.

And then Rhys, and then Sanjief.

Yeah.

And then, obviously, the face-down between the two youngest.

Maisie wins, though.

Maisie gets the victory.

Nice for her to do something in this episode.

Well, because

the last run, Anya was onto the central zone as well, I think.

Yeah, yeah.

But just, yeah.

But it didn't matter because Anya wins.

She She tottered.

She tottered.

She tottered.

There was a totter.

She tottered.

She double-stepped.

Yeah.

20 points for Anya.

18 points for Sanjeev.

Phil gets 17 points.

So does Maisie.

And Rhys on 13 points.

Meaning, we're still so close in the series.

I don't think it's ever been this tight at this stage.

They did say who's in front just before the stage,

before the live team.

Yeah, so

Anya's in front.

And even after that.

Yeah, even after that, 110 points.

Phil's on 106.

Maisie's on 100.

Rhys is on 98, and Sanjeev's on 99.

Sounds good.

But anyway, it's very, very tight.

There's only like, you know, 11 points between bottom and top is pretty tight at this stage.

A few episodes to go.

Yeah.

A few episodes to go.

It's hotting up.

I like it.

Because as we know, the winner matters.

If you win, that's it.

You know, then you're.

It's the pair of shoes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's the open top bus.

You choose the sissy you want to to go.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think Sarah Kendall chose Swansea.

That was a surprise.

Yeah, no one expected that.

Very porterna.

Mike, thank you so much for coming back on the Taskmaster podcast.

Of course, your new show, The Bench, is on tour.

MikeHorsneyout.com for tickets.

Well, thank you for having me.

And I'm sorry about the, I wouldn't normally wear a hat.

It's quite rude.

Oh, no, I like it.

You look like you're about to do a heist.

Do I?

Yeah.

Oh, that's good.

I've sort of had to wear it.

I did this sort of children's TV thing.

And

I thought there was a bald cap on day one and we're in a sort of period of regrowth at the moment.

And it's not...

I don't really know what this is.

It doesn't really resemble any precedents that I know.

What is it with you and doing things to your hair and then revealing it?

This is like the reverse.

Yes.

Yeah, reverse Mohawk thing.

What was the show you were doing?

It's this Dexter Proctor, the 10-year-old doctor.

It's an Adam Kaye book.

Right.

Henry Packer illustrated.

They're doing a TV version of it.

I've got a tiny part in it.

I'm like Dexter's dad.

So

you shaved the middle to have like...

Well, because Henry had illustrated it, and you know.

He's done you there.

He's done me up like a kipper.

I thought there'd be a ball camp.

There wasn't a bold camp.

I thought I want to do a proper job.

And also,

I don't have enough on for it to really matter.

Do you know what I mean?

And I thought it would irritate my children, which it did.

How have you done this right at the end of the record?

Well, just

to be polite, do you know what I mean?

Yeah, but this is going to be the clip.

Oh, right.

Is it?

Yeah, yeah.

You're mad if you think we're not putting this in.

Oh, right, I see.

I thought we were wrapping it up.

No, this this is for you.

Yeah, I know, but luckily we're still filming it.

So I'm sorry, I didn't really know what to do with it either.

I could buzz it all over, but yeah, that's.

It would work for you, the buzz all over.

I'd say you've got to do something.

Something needs to be done at some point, doesn't it?

You can't just go do not talk.

It's not too soon.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah,

you're going to have to write a 10-minute opening routine in the bench if you leave it like that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Can you pop the hat back on?

I'm finding it quite disconcerting.

Sure, yeah.

No one likes it.

No, tried out a lot of hats, though.

Well, you look good enough.

Pam likes it.

She likes it.

My dog Pam likes it.

Yeah.

Well, your hair.

Yeah.

It's texture.

A little bit of sandwich paste or a bit taramasilata.

And she's been a very good girl.

Mike, we always ask our guests to rate to their experience on the podcast between one and five points in the start of the Taskmaster.

We hope you've had a nice time, but give us an honest point score.

It's always five.

It's always five.

With this beautiful boy.

Nice boy.

Yeah, what a lovely boy.

Thanks, Mike.

Thank you.

See you soon.

Bye.

Bye.

Thank you so much to Mike for coming on the pod.

What a revelation at the end there.

I hope you go and watch the video of that.

I mean, if you're listening on audio, which I'm sure you are, because we don't do these bits on the video,

do go and watch it because there's a brilliant moment at the end.

And don't forget to go and see Mike on tour.

His brand new tour, The Bench, is coming to venues across the UK and Ireland 2026.

Sign up to Mike's mailing list for tour presale, www.mrmikewasniak.com.

Look,

I'm a millennial.

I still say www.get over it.

You're lucky I'm not doing HTTP.

All right.

We'll see you next week.

We've got another brilliant episode discussing Taskmaster Series 20, episode 8.

We'll have Stevie Martin in the caravan.

Bye-bye.