EP.252 - GUZ KHAN (LIVE)

I added one more podcast to the giant podcast bin.

Now you have plucked that podcast out and started listening.

I took my microphone and found some human folk.

Then I recorded all the noises while we spoke.

My name is Adam Buxton, I'm a man.

I want you to enjoy this, that's the plan.

Hey,

how are you doing, podcats?

It's Adam Buxton here.

Thank you so much for joining me once again out here on a Norfolk farm track at the end of June 2025.

I'm here with Rosie, she's my best dog friend.

She came out fairly happily today, didn't you, Doglegs?

Define happily.

Well, I mean, without a great deal of resistance.

Come on, you love being out here.

At least it's not quite so hot today.

Yesterday it was blazing squad.

Today it's Mo Cloudy.

Earlier today it was a little bit damp

and there was a sudden plague of little insects.

I'm not sure exactly what they were.

Midges maybe, but they weren't biting.

and there was just clouds of them all around the castle.

One moment there's just a few gangs goofing around in the garden.

The next moment the air was thick with them.

I made some tea and walked across to my nutty room.

And by the time I'd got to the door, I was covered in the things.

There was about eight of them in my tea.

The spiders' webs all around the barns were thick with them, like trawlers' nets.

The spiders are going to be feasting for weeks.

Anyway, let me tell you a bit about this podcast.

It's number 252, 252, which features a rambling conversation with friend of the podcast, Guz Khan.

This will be his third appearance on the podcast.

Some brief Guz facts for you, just to remind you.

Born in 1986,

Guz and his siblings were brought up in Coventry by their Pakistani immigrant mother following the death of her husband when Guz was just three.

Guz attended Coventry University where he studied criminology, then spent a a few years working as a teacher before making a series of viral videos that brought him to the attention of the BBC.

In 2017, he made the first series of his sitcom Man Like Mobine, the show that would catapult him into the center stage of TV, film and stand-up comedy, all of which he has pursued in various forms since.

Series five of Man Like Mobine landed earlier this year, 2025, and Guz has intimated that it will be the last, although he has intimated that with previous series, as I recall.

No, we're going this way, Rosie.

Dog legs.

I don't really want to go that way.

I would prefer to go the way that goes back to the sofa.

We're not going to be long, don't worry.

I'm just going to do this intro and then the outro, and then we'll go back.

The conversation you're about to hear with Guz was recorded on my 55th birthday on the 7th of June 2024

in front of a thousand-strong live audience at Manchester's Albert Hall.

That was part of the podcast tour that I did last year.

And we spoke about home life in the Khan household.

Guz filled me in on how his kids were doing, including the struggles he and his wife Dino have been having with one child who was determined not to go to school.

Incidentally, the phrase I was reaching for but didn't recall on stage was school refusal.

In other words, something that goes beyond just not liking school and playing truant, but is more like acute anxiety that leaves a child very upset when it's time to go to school.

And there could be a variety of reasons for that.

There's a link to a bit of an info blog.

I don't know how useful it is, but just in case that's something you're dealing with with your children.

Link in the the description.

I mean, if it's a big problem, you probably would have googled it yourself, wouldn't you?

But you know, it's trying to be helpful.

As well as parenthood chat, Guz told me about how excited he is to be installing dormer windows.

That's a window that projects vertically from a sloping roof.

I suppose I know them by the brand name Velux.

Anyway, we didn't talk too long about dormer windows.

We moved on to dealing with conflict online and in the world

with brief reference to Guz's adversarial interactions with far-right anti-Islam activist Tommy Robinson and I told Guz about what were then my dreams of being on the great British Bake-Off and I played him a song that I'd made to woo the bake-off producers.

It was accompanied by some AI-generated images of me baking pies for various celebrities.

You'll find a link to the video in the description of today's podcast.

Anyway, as you may know, I did make it onto Bake Off earlier this year for Stand Up to Cancer, but Guz also presented me on stage with a strategy that, as you will hear, might well have brought me one step closer to my other TV dream of appearing on Taskmaster.

It was a strategy that I wasn't 100% comfortable with, but it was funny, and if anyone can take the discomfort out of a situation, it's Guz Khan.

I'll be back at the end to say goodbye, but after the ramble chat jingle, we will travel back to Friday night in Manchester, June the 7th, 2024, with me in front of a sold-out crowd who had just enjoyed 10 minutes of very funny and probably now totally redundant material about AI that I had showed them.

And they were just about to find out who my guest for that night was going to be, because they didn't know when they bought their tickets.

Little did they know what was in store for them.

As they discovered, part of that involved strong accents and very strong language throughout the evening, so be warned.

Here we go.

Please welcome the creator of Man Like Moby

Actor, stand-up comedian.

It's Gulam

Dostagir Guskan.

Shit.

You lot are noisy, innit?

My God.

Did I do that pronunciation right?

I chickened out on gulam.

What was it again?

It was.

No, I felt you shooting yourself a little bit when you were.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because remember what I told you backstage?

I said, put as much sauce on it as you can.

And you remember in the last podcast as well, you were a little bit worried about putting sauce.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, it's not called, yeah, it's generally considered for white guys to put sauce on words and names.

It's gone out of fashion recently.

No one's more upset about it than I am because

I love accents, but

Gulam.

Yeah, so like the thing is, just as a little caveat, bro, if you were to meet an uncle in the street, right?

And for some reason you had his driving license in your hand, okay?

Yeah.

If you did his name and said his name to him without the source on it, he'd be more offended than you put in all the source on it.

Okay.

So if you said, oh, Bhagwan Singh,

he'd be like, why the fuck are you saying my name like this?

I I don't understand.

If you read his name and said Bhagwan Sangh, he would say, I like you, white man.

I like you.

Source always.

Bhagwan Singh?

See?

Yes.

Yeah, yeah, okay.

But it's getting the right source, though, isn't it?

I might just sort of go.

Yeah, if you start throwing in some butt-buttoning things after me, just

don't do that.

I wouldn't do that.

Don't go what the fuck out of you.

I wouldn't do that.

Gulam.

Yeah, that's good.

Gulam.

An Arabic word which means young and handsome servant in paradise.

Is that what that means?

Apparently.

Apparently, that's what that means.

I don't know.

Just googled it.

It's a weird name on reflection.

Do you miss it though?

I mean, do you feel obliged to use Guz just because it's less of a mouthful?

Or?

I'll be honest with you,

only ever like

heads of year when I was at school used the name and then the police, that's it.

No one else, not even my mother, that's not even my name in the house.

I've got a whole different name in the house.

What's your name in the house?

Uh Jav.

Jav?

Yeah?

Where'd you get that one?

Who fucking knows?

We don't know.

We don't ask these questions.

What's that got to do with anything?

Did you ever show prowess for the javelin at some stage?

No, my fat ass never showed no prowess for none of these sports, but I don't know.

Like, Guz was always like, that's the West Midlands name.

Yeah, that was in primary school what they shortened Gulam from to.

And even my teacher used to say, Gooz, come here, you prick.

How's the family?

Really good, really good.

Have some news for you.

Oh, yeah.

We are welcoming baby number five.

No way.

Wow, wow, wow, wow,

whoa.

Nobody expected this child, nobody wanted this child.

It's the point I want to say.

Brother Box, I'm in a really weird zone as well because when it gets to that level of children, that number of kids, people are thinking, like, oh, is this like some kind of faith-based thing?

Because more than four kids is like faith-based numbers.

And I'm like, nah, it's just accidents, bro.

It's just one pump, one pump more than should have been pumped.

And then that's...

I'm fucked, man.

Sounds like you're not the only one.

It's too much kids, man.

So this means you are, whether you like it or not, locked into the showbiz life for the foreseeable future.

That would just...

It's back into the drugs.

Like, it's still...

It's possible, but Britt, it's really a lot of kids.

I mean, two is fine.

After we had two, I was like, that's fine.

That's enough.

You know what my uncle said?

The news broke, the news broke.

He let everyone else leave the room and just very quietly he looked at me and said, You like sex, innit?

Well, listen, it's still happy news.

I can't think of a nicer family to grow up in than that of yourself and your wife, Dino.

Oh my God.

I mean, you're nice parents, right?

Like,

we're way more

encouraging than it was for us lot growing up.

Yeah.

Yeah, and I mean, everybody.

I think I'm speaking on behalf of maybe all first-generation immigrants, yeah, in the majority.

It wasn't like,

oh, you've got a dream.

Go and follow your dream.

It was more like, you're a dickhead.

Don't be a dickhead.

It's a very different.

So I think we're better at telling the kids to be like, yo, do what you want to do.

But like,

when Dino has to step in and pattern the kids, they get patterned.

Do you know what that?

No, what's that?

Like, if they're basically fucking about,

them all will step in and say, boy, stop fucking about.

And I quite like it when she does that because I don't really see that side of her too much.

That's why I'm on kid number five.

I'm attracted to weird stuff.

Yeah, it's hot

but do you do you curse in front of the children yeah I'll be cursing all the time do you yeah fuck this fuck that fuck him

Tommy Robertson could suck my dick I say all kinds of stuff

important message But yeah, do you know what it is?

Because here's something that used to happen to us, yeah?

Our parents would swear profusely in Punjabi and Urdu, but the moment we said like an English swear word, it was like, Don't do this,

this is very bad.

And the English swear word would be like, Oh shit, which is just like shit, isn't it?

Yeah,

but in Punjabi and Urdu, the levels of swears, the eloquence, and filth of them is way above and beyond anything English has to offer,

which is like, you know,

which means I'll jump in your mum's fanny with both feet.

So shit didn't seem that bad, really?

I haven't said that in front of the kids yet.

Yeah, shit doesn't seem nearly so bad.

No.

And what about?

I'm interested to know about the intellectual environment in the Khan household.

Are you speaking more than one language?

Yeah, we are.

So they hear Punjabi, Urdu.

Dino's family speaks a dialect which is called Mirpuri, which is again very different.

So there's like three straight off the bat there.

Right.

But now my kids understand, but they don't speak shit really, which is quite disappointing to to me as a father, them as their mother.

They get the piss taken out of them a lot.

But

I've got uh two white Irish aunties who were born in Kilkenny and they married both my uncles, Pakistani uncles.

And these white Irish aunties have a better command of Punjabi and Urdu than my kids,

which honestly is embarrassing for me and makes me say I want to jump in your mum's fanny with both people.

Are they difficult languages, do you think?

I don't know.

I don't think so.

Have you ever tried to learn another European language?

No, it's not.

Never interested me.

Never interested me.

Like, I think

Punjabi is considered like a more

and I feel bad saying it because Punjabi is my first language.

But for example, if you're an Urdu speaker or a Hindi speaker, they reference Punjabi as quite a rough language.

I don't know if there's anybody in here who speaks Punjabi Urdu.

One.

Someone laughing.

Someone laughing at the very idea.

Yeah, but you know, so it's just considered a little bit rougher.

Yeah.

But I think that's just because Punjabi people, people from Punjab are a little bit more hot.

And people who speak Urdu are a little bit.

But what I'm saying is, like, people who speak Punjabi are like labour supporters, and Urdu speakers are fucking Tories, just Tories.

It's what I'm trying to get to.

Right, okay.

Have you seen there's a clip that my son showed me the other day from TikTok?

Speaking of languages, this is a dad practicing Arabic with his three-year-old in the back of the car.

Has anyone seen this one?

Oh, there's a couple of you who have.

So he's encouraging his three-year-old to do Arabic.

It's just sort of guttural noises.

Which sort of reminds you, it kind of strips language back to its very essence.

Because you it used to be like when I remember being pretty young, and you do sort of impressions of the way foreign languages sound.

Of course.

You know, like

French is just.

And what would English be like?

Like, what do you think people outside the UK who don't speak English think English people sound like if they do a crude impression of the sound of it?

Exactly.

But you've got to get those kids speaking the Punjabi and the Urdu.

That is a superpower.

A foreign language is a superpower.

My mum was Chilean.

So when she...

Second, brother, what you said what it was?

Yeah.

She was from Chile.

So we grew up.

What did she think I said?

Why are you you living hungry out in the cold what the fuck's going on chilly

she was chilling

she uh she stopped speaking Spanish to us when we were little her kids because when she after she moved to the UK like English people that she met said oh you shouldn't speak in two languages to your kids it'll confuse them

and she thought oh okay I better not then I better just carry on speaking English so England was like that yeah It's such a shame.

So bro, are you, you know your mom?

Of course you know your mum.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I remember her.

Well you're from Chile, so your mum was, she's like, she had some sauce.

Yeah, well my dad used to use the phrase a touch of the tar brush.

Another phrase.

Hey, fuck you, it's out of the gate.

Okay?

They were in a loving relationship.

So that's my, I never knew that people.

You are a little bit

like Greek Cypriot.

You've got energy.

It's the

slight swarthiness.

Is that an acceptable word still?

No, it's not really.

It's all,

what's the word on social media?

It would be...

Well, just yikes, I suppose.

As soon as you get into that area, it's all problematic.

But yeah, he used to...

My dad used to love the idea that my mum was exotic.

If you ever met my mum, she looked like, I don't know if you ever saw a show called The Good Life, but she was very much like Penelope Keith in The Good Life, and she ended up just the most posh white woman that you ever met in your life from England.

You would never have known that she was from Chile.

Wow.

Yeah.

She assimilated hard.

Shit.

Shit.

But yeah, carry on with that language.

That is a superpower.

Do your kids get on?

Yeah,

like...

So the hierarchy is Sophia, who's my daughter, my firstborn, the greatest thing that ever happened to me, she is...

She's like, because she's 13 and the boys are all still like boys, innit?

Yeah.

But

they interact with each other like...

quite violently sometimes.

But because she's now a 13 year old young woman, like she's got to the stage where all her body kicks incapacitate them.

So there's nothing, they can't wrestle back, they can't do anything back.

So she's we're going through that transition where she, what I'm saying, she's beating the fuck out of everybody right now

in the house, and it's changed the dynamic of the house because now them men don't even be they don't be chatting shit no more.

They used to chat, the boys used to chat a lot of shit like, yeah, yeah, yeah, dickhead.

Now when she comes in the room, it's like, yeah, dick, dickhead,

because they know the head kicks

it hit different now, you know what I mean?

So, but no, I think they're very, they're very defensive of each other.

So, uh, Wiggy and Ye, who are the two oldest boys, uh, Wiggie,

I don't even know, he's a more gentle soul, yeah, he's got ringwormed.

Didn't even know he was fucking around in the the garden with mud so he's like a gentle guy

and and ye's like

ye takes like jabs and hooks and like all that kind of stuff really seriously he thinks he's really rizzy and something happened at school just a few weeks ago and even though them two hadn't really they weren't like getting on on in the house wiggie came back and he said oh dad uh ye sorted out all the kids in my year for me and i was like yeah that's that's good he ringworm you're a lucky boy ringworm you are a lucky boy.

So, I like the fact that with outside of our supervision, they're all looking out for each other.

That's important to me.

I'd rather they kick the shit out of each other in front of us and then out in the world,

Autobots Unite, or whatever it is.

You know what I mean?

How old are they now?

Like, what's the age spread?

Suff is 13, Yay is 11, Wiggie is 9,

and that crazy little one is 3.

He's he's a can I'd say I don't know if it's politically correct I'd say he's a pussy

why like you know

he's getting dropped off to nursery at the moment yeah and all the kids are like I want to stay at home because home's fun and we feel like that's sick as a parent like oh yeah you do so right if kid wants to stay at home we're chilling with you but he's like wailing and screaming and holding on to door handles at the moment.

And you know what he said to his mum?

If you make me go today, you're gonna hurt my heart forever

mate

and to my wife I'm like you've you've done the right thing we have to let him go when he comes home from school I'm like your mom's a dickhead bro like that I would have never done you like that

so he's really he's really put he's sticking it on us right now with this and I don't really know how to cope with this because I'm the kind of dad where if I had to witness that three days on the bounce I would cancel his schooling forever.

Yeah, yeah.

It's a thing that, oh, there's a phrase for it.

Does anyone know what the phrase is?

It's something like school reluctance.

I mean, it is something that you sort of think, well, yeah, I think I had that.

I didn't want to go to school.

But for some people, it's a real problem.

And they hate the idea.

It's traumatic for them.

And actually, for some of those people, they're best off not going.

There's other options.

I was talking to Catelyn Moran the other day, the journalist.

She didn't get on with school.

So she did three weeks, and then from then on, it was just being educated by her parents, even though she admits that they didn't really do too much educating.

Mainly, they just sort of watched movies and a lot of TV, and she went to the library.

That was her thing.

She liked to read, so she picked up a lot of what she needed to do herself.

But for some people, school

doesn't work, you know.

Did you like school?

No, not really.

But I didn't mind it.

I like the social aspect of it.

But whenever I started a new school for the first year or so, it was horrible.

And boarding school, especially, that was properly traumatic.

And it was sprung on me like, after Christmas, you're going to start at a boarding school.

I was like, well, why do you hate me?

I thought we were all getting on.

And now you're going to fucking dump me in a boarding school.

I mean, they may as well have just said, after Christmas, we're going to shoot you in the back of the head.

And it'll be fun.

It'll be, you'll like it.

It was, and it was fun, but only because the trauma was so extreme of being dropped off at this place.

And it wasn't even like a terrible school, really.

Some people have really awful, awful times, whether they're a boarding school or not.

You know, I'm not suggesting that it's just those kinds of schools where people have a terrible time.

How about you?

How did you get on?

Yeah, good.

Adam.

it was good.

It was sick, and progressively, as we got older, it got even sicker because it's like we had a year group where, especially, we got to year seven, by year nine,

everybody in the school was like, Fuck it, they're feral this lot.

So there was like a different set of rules, nobody cared.

When I was in primary school, just because I could see that was a little bit traumatic for you after Christmas when they told you, fuck off, yeah?

Like

in primary school, I used to get a lot of stuff pinned on me.

And the punishment in primary school was that you'd have to go into, is it called a foyer?

And there was a clock on the wall, massive clock.

And if you'd know, you had to stand facing the wall under the clock.

And

kids used to get sent there.

There was nothing unfair about that.

But I remember when I would get in trouble, sometimes I'd get kicked out of my class in the first lesson and I would be stood facing the clock at home time.

So they'd leave me there for the whole day.

And if it wasn't for my boys and hobba bobba at break time

and sneaking me all kinds of pork scratches that I shouldn't have been eating, all kinds of shit,

then

I wouldn't have even had lunch.

But I remember that's a very vivid memory for me.

Wow.

So that was shit.

Yeah.

That was shit.

But then I did, in the end of year six, I did break the main culprit's car window.

So I thought that's alright.

Why did you break that window?

Because she kept fucking standing me out there, the dickhead

and broke her car window.

Oh man, didn't you worry that that would escalate?

No,

no, not at all, not at all.

Where we grew up, things like that are like that's character building.

If you've got a bottle to break a teacher's window in year six, you're going places.

Like, it was, it's a, it's a good thing.

Yeah.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

When you were on the podcast, the first time you and I talked about parenthood, and I think you were surprised by how kind of stressed by it I seemed.

Your philosophy was like if they're still alive at the end of the day, jobs are good.

I think fundamentally, yeah.

Yeah.

And then you have to worry about what kind of people they turn into, and you have to worry about the extent to which you are responsible for the kind of people they turn into.

Do you think that you and your wife will be fairly hands-off about that and just let them turn into the people they want to be?

Or are you going to be laying down the law?

And if so, what will that be like considering your waywardness in your own youth?

No, because being a hypocrite is a really good thing as a parent.

I think.

You have to do it.

Sometimes you have to do it.

Do you know what I mean?

Obviously,

I'm traversing this thing where obviously, like

you know, they're not mates, but like old acquaintances will just ball in when we're having a haircut or whatever, and then they'll get into conversation about what it used to be like back in the day.

And I'm like, Yeah, yeah, is it okay, yeah, man?

That's that's good, trying to cut the conversation off.

And they'll talk about specifics, and then Ye, in particular, if he's getting told off, will be the first one to bring about like, Oh, remember what Irfan said in the barbers.

And I'm like, it's not important what Irfan says in the barbers.

Irfan's been to prison for a long time, time.

And then,

and then you know what?

He's clever, he's clever, because then it'll be like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And Irfan was talking about, or what was her name, Shanice.

And then he'll walk out, and then he'll leave me with his mom.

And his mom's like,

Yeah, yeah, I remember Shanice, motherfucker.

I remember Shanice.

So

he's smart with it.

I like the fact that, you know, he knows how to play the game a little bit.

As long as they're like sound,

do you know what I mean when I say that?

If they're sound,

yeah, if they're sound,

they're not like

they don't enjoy hurting people.

Yes.

And you know, people will be doing that, you know, in lots of different ways.

If they're sound, then fuck it.

Just have a good one.

But if you're not sound,

I think their mom can get quite hitty.

That's what happened to us.

We didn't really get like smacked when we were kids.

But as soon as, like, oh, motherfucker, you got hair on your chest.

Then aunties and uncles will be swinging haymakers like left and right, bang, bang, bang.

So you never know not actual haymakers i heard people oh my god and you know you underestimate the short aunties thinking it's going to be okay a couple of my cousins woke up and it was the next day and they'd been fucked up so yeah it's it's part of life

that's bleak

and what are you and your wife like at home if i may inquire what do you mean well are you

Are things harmonious?

Are you a good unit?

You know, sometimes if there is someone who does does a job like yours, for example, that's very irregular, you might be away for long periods of time.

How does your wife deal with that?

She's like, in that sense, she probably would wish that I did things a little bit differently.

Yeah, I mean, is she mainly working at home and looking after the kids, or has she got another job as well?

She has.

She's got that.

that mass responsibility.

Yeah, but I'm probably around more than she really wants

at any any given time.

You'll be like, oh, isn't it nice that you got home to your family?

I think my family would prefer if I went missing for

not ever, but you know, six months or whatever.

Like, oh, I don't know where he is.

Get the flyers up.

Let's start a Facebook group.

They prefer if I wasn't around as much as I was.

What is most likely to cause a row in the Khan household?

V5s.

What's that?

You know, when you get a car

and the DVLA sends you a

legal piece of paper

and it's got the number plate on it and it's got your name on it or Dino's name on it.

Yeah,

I have lost 100% of all V5s

that have ever come to the house.

So I'll be like from another part of the house Ardino have you seen that V5 and just muffled in the distance she'll be like pussy on I told you to put the V5 somewhere she she hates and that's caused huge arguments in our house what the fuck is wrong with you why are you losing these v5s on purpose i should have never married you you fat cunt what's wrong with you just get out of hand

i hate them v5 should be electronic what's the need any

for fucking paper v5s now i have to face the wrath of dino because i used the v5 to roll it up and smoke some weed it's just fucking a lot of headache

And what are you supposed to say to that box?

I lost it again.

And she's like, you're a fucking idiot.

Yeah, that's no good.

You need to take better care of it.

That's like listening to my wife and our middle son.

He is unable to hold on to any things and to keep track of anything at all.

And yet he's totally indignant.

If you ever try and cross-examine him and suggest that he changes his ways, he gets very upset because he thinks he's got everything sorted.

What kind of shit he'll be losing?

Oh, man, everything.

Everything.

Like, every device that he's ever had, every

bit of possession, like to the extent that recently I got him a phone, like a pretty cheap phone, to replace the one that he'd lost a few months earlier for his birthday.

And he genuinely didn't want it because he just said, we both know what's going to happen to him.

You know, he was sort of being nice.

He was just like,

I don't want to go through all this again.

It's just a sort of pathological thing like he cannot control.

He doesn't he's not connected to physical things, which in a way is quite nice.

I quite like that about him, that he's not materialist in that way.

But it would be good if he was a bit more materialist

that he could just hang on to some of this stuff.

How about their devices and their time on the internet?

Is there any attempt to control that, or how do you manage that?

Like

you can,

on the main electric board, you can just turn it all off

I've done that three times so far because I'm like yo, that's this YouTube shorts gonna fuck you up.

It's a plan from the government.

They're trying to fry your bread.

You can't even concentrate.

You're not even listening now.

I only started talking five seconds ago.

You're not watching YouTube shorts no more.

And then 1 a.m.

Yeah, there's the three channels I'm going to show up there.

Boom!

Open the door.

Fuck's going on in here.

No, nothing done.

I was talking in my sleep.

Give me the iPad.

Look on the iPad.

You can see the screen is still lit from YouTube shorts.

And I'm going to send them a fucking send him in there.

Now what I'm saying.

So I went out to the main electric box and I turned it off.

I said, no more electricity.

And then he said, well, you're staying up till late.

What are you going to do?

So I went back and turned it back on.

But the point is,

sometimes you have to cut it off at the source.

Yeah.

Like,

we are nothing compared to our parents.

But I only imagine if we had this device access YouTube shorts when we were a kid, our parents wouldn't have turned the electricity off.

They would have ripped the box out the wall and shoved it in my ass.

That's what he would have done.

I would have never watched YouTube shorts again.

I know.

I have a...

When we moved into our house, like we had all the electrics redone, and I asked them to put master switches in some of the rooms for that reason so that if things reached crunch point, I could just go in and hit, and they're big red switches.

And I just hit the red switch, and everything dies.

It's pretty good feeling.

Okay, but are we being stupid?

Is it just normal for them to

because it's not even good content, is it?

Well, it's just somebody like restoring a Lego, like, fuck.

I know, like a matchbox car, yeah.

And you know, already they've stuck that Matchbox car in the mud themselves six months ago, so it gets fucked up to make 15 seconds of content for them.

And they're like, What's even your problem, man?

Like, I'm just watching this car getting restored, but it's

if they're watching Matchbox cars being restored, then everything's fine.

It's the other stuff I'm worried about.

Never, Pornhop doesn't have shorts, does it?

I don't know,

I would would imagine it does.

I mean, surely, everything's got everything.

Any terrible thing you can imagine, they've probably seen.

I remember when my son got his first device, like an iPod Touch kind of thing, and it had internet connectivity or something, which was a stupid thing for me to have done.

And I gave it to him way too early.

But, you know, you want to endear yourself to these people.

That's the...

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's what it is.

Yeah.

You want them them to love you.

And so I tried to buy his love with Apple

gear and the concession that I made to being a somewhat responsible parent was at least you know his account is linked to my account.

He can't do it.

There are parental, I thought there were parental controls on there.

Evidently there weren't, because I started getting alerts about sites that he was visiting.

He'd obviously just realized, oh, I can go on the internet and I can look at stuff.

And he'd been hanging out with a mate of his, he must have been about six or or something, pretty young.

And we're in a car journey, and suddenly I start getting alerts on my phone telling me what he's been looking at.

And the thread was: the first search was Sylvester Stallone's penis.

Because they'd seen Rocky.

They were like, look at this guy.

And then, of course, the next thing is, imagine

what kind of equipment this guy has.

Let's find out.

And then, you know, you can imagine, three clicks later, they're in the belly of hell.

And they're looking at some terrible, terrible stuff.

And so then I, you know, I went and confronted him about it, and I was like, what are you looking at?

And he just immediately burst into tears.

Because he knew that he had gone to a terrible place.

And you could see that the search had ended in literally three clicks.

It was just like,

the sites that it had taken him to.

And they'd obviously just close it and gone, no.

But.

Can you remember what the last search

before Sylvester Stallone's penis was?

What was the last search before that?

Can you remember?

No, I think this was their inaugural.

It was their first search.

This was welcome to the internet.

Where would you like to go?

Rocky's dick was his first search.

Yeah, that's wild, man.

Fuck.

Yeah, I felt pretty bad about it, but it was a chastening experience.

And

we did actually, it's like a fun family story

I wheel out more than I should.

Never in public before.

But I did mention the possibility that it might happen to him the other day, and he was okay with it.

He was alright with it.

Yeah, he was like, okay, whatever.

He was fine.

You know what?

Dido did get angry with me about?

Oh, yeah.

There's a YouTuber called Selim the Dream.

Selim the Dream.

And Selene the Dream does this prank where he, I don't know if anyone's seen it, he moans in people's ears at like supermarkets and stuff.

He moaned, like in what way?

So you're there in BNQ now, yeah?

Yeah.

Looking for whatever you're looking for.

And he'll just casually come behind you and he'll go, hi yeah.

It's a bit like it's a bit dodge, yeah?

It's a bit dodge, but there's a bit

there's a particular set of his videos where he'd been doing this for quite a while, but the whole video was dedicated to him doing that to Asian uncles.

And the Asian uncle's reactions compared to everyone else was very different.

Is Selim the Dreamer Asian himself?

No, no, I think he's Ethiopian, maybe Somali, right?

So

he'd pull up behind an Indian or Pakistani uncle, and they'd be browsing light bulbs or whatever the fuck it is.

And Selim would go, Hoya.

And the Indian uncles would spin round in panic.

And what I love about Asian uncles when they're panicked is they don't be speaking English properly.

So he'd go, Hoya.

And the uncle would spin around and say, Who is this?

One uncle,

one uncle was reading something for the shelf, and Celine the Dream came behind him and said, Oh, yeah, daddy.

And the uncle spun around and said, Why you fuck me?

And me and the kids found this hilarious together.

And the mom wasn't very impressed, perfectly.

Right, now look, what have we got here?

I think that I earlier on was looking at your YouTube channel.

How often do you go on there and maintain that?

Are you like very proactive with your socials?

I forgot a password for this for like

some time.

Yeah, what were you doing on there?

I was just sort of looking through various bits and pieces.

I wanted to see what you've been up to.

It suddenly occurred to me, like, oh, I don't know what you're actually doing these days.

What are you doing at the moment?

Well, like this week.

Yeah, like in your in your career oh career yeah

like that's all right but the thing that's really exciting for us at the moment we're having a dormer done in the loft

oh yo listen fuck comedy this dormer is the shit I wish you could all see it it's the shit bro okay

and I managed to source like these windows called Fakro windows instead of Velix because Velix is very expensive yeah and so this brother was like fakro is very good, have the Fakro.

And I went online, the Fakru is much cheaper and it feels nice in the hand.

What I'm saying is, that's what I'm spending my time doing-fucking dorm windows.

It's very exciting to me.

Korea is alright, yeah, but the dorm is gonna be sick.

Yeah,

and how much time do you spend on social media and doing all that?

Because I mean, I do know that about you: that you're not someone who is overly focused on growing the brand, smashing the stats, increasing the reach, all those sorts of things, which is quite unusual for a modern personality.

You're told generally,

you have to be on Twitter.

If you're not on Twitter, you're nobody.

No, I would do be on the internet, like talking shit to people.

Like, I like, this is one thing I didn't want to lose.

I didn't want to lose the ability to just be like, bow, have that motherfucker.

Like, I didn't want to lose that.

Because I used to love having that throughout my whole life.

So, I was going back and forth with Tommy Robinson last night.

On Instagram or Twitter or something?

Twitter, Twitter.

He's active on Twitter, yeah.

Like you can catch him.

Sometimes you can see when he's online and I go immediately, bow.

Boom, straight in there.

No, and I want to say this.

I want to say this, okay, about him.

That definitely, you know, like the attraction dynamic between us,

it's heavily on my side.

You're stalking him.

Yeah, I'm for sure.

I'm stalking him.

I want to know about his house in Benedom and all that kind of shit.

I know more about Tommy Robinson than I know about Dino, to be honest with you.

There's a lot.

There's a lot I know.

So yeah, I'll be on the internet talking shit.

What kind of interactions do you have?

Are you trolling him or are you trying to actually have meaningful intellectual discussions with him?

Well,

I don't know how much you know about Tommy Robinson, but.

But is it sort of primarily performative or are you trying to genuinely school him, as it were?

No, no, no.

Sometimes I'd just be sitting there and I'd be like, oh, Tommy Robinson posted 33 seconds ago.

And I'm like, bow.

What's life like down there, you tiny motherfucker?

Like, just things like that.

And then it gets him really rolled up because I shouldn't be here in this country, of course.

Yes.

Does he respond to you?

Sometimes he responds to me, but it's something I can't tell whether it's him.

I can't tell whether it's him or press team, whoever handles his social media.

But when it's him, you can tell it's him because

he types like he talks, which I find very entertaining sometimes.

I think I love Tommy Robinson a little bit, is what I'm trying to say.

Is there any part of you that would ever want to get into politics?

Because, you know, you'd be a very charismatic candidate that I feel like a lot of people could probably get behind.

There you go.

Nah, but

there's not any money in it, is there?

I'm doing all right.

If you get to be Prime Minister, then you just spugger off and you are coining it on the

talk circuit.

I would just like to go into...

Remember when the Ali G character

went in there and he was just like smashing everybody?

Yes.

And he was like,

that would be fun for a day.

Because sometimes those conversations would be going on and on and on.

And they're all like, oh.

You see someone with a strong, shut the fuck up.

To move the conversation on.

I would like to do that one day.

In a political context.

In a political context.

When they all sat there,

shut the fuck up, dickhead.

Who said that?

In the House of Commons.

In the House of Commons, yeah.

Fuck your mum.

Who said that?

I predict that in our lifetime, that will happen.

I hope.

The thing about all their money is, bro, it's like there's a lot of people that like you, Box, yeah?

So in passing, a lot of people are like, oh, girls, hi.

I'm like, yeah?

Like, I tell you what.

Those conversations we have with Adam Buxton,

really, really good.

And that's usually.

and they just walk away.

They're not my usual interactions.

And I'm like, oh, somebody's on a box thing.

But it's like, you know, if Pretty Patel came up to you and said, I really like your podcast, yeah?

Yeah.

You'd have to kind of firms pretty, innit?

You know what I mean?

No,

your followers, the internet, if they saw you fist-bumping Pretty Patel, you'd be finished, bro.

Fucking dead in the ground.

But if you explain to me the context,

I'm not going to kill you for that.

Yeah, okay, I see what you mean.

Have you ever been in that position where you where someone was charming to you?

What if Tommy Robinson comes up and he's all charming with you?

He helps you with your shopping.

He does your wife a favor.

He shows you

he does Dino a favor.

What kind of fucking favors you're talking about, Adam Buxton?

Not those ones.

But

he shows you his human side

Nah, because look, there's people here

if it was just me and you backstage, I'd be like,

But it's the world in it, you know what I mean?

Yeah, I mean, I agree with you as far as like it should be the most important thing, like how people treat each other one-on-one.

Yet, we know that there's more to it than that.

That's the weird thing about social media, though, isn't it?

Is that people are liberated to have have these clashes of principle.

Yes.

And fundamentally, it is one of the frustrating things about so many of the conflicts that you see in the world, whether they're small or catastrophically large, that you just think, fuck, I wish you were in front of each other in real life.

I wish you were able to find a point of common humanity.

You know what I mean?

That's the truthful, nice version of it.

I don't know if you ever heard of this term, chat shit, get banged.

Have you ever heard of that?

Because

in real life,

all these Twitter fingers, hot, pee, peon, pee, bullet, bullet, bullet, bullet, bullet.

In the real life,

brother, it's a very real saying that everybody should be aware.

That's how life works.

If you're chatting too much shit,

you're going to get banged.

What do you like with conflict in general?

Like real-world physical in-the-room conflict?

But give me some context.

Well, what about on set?

When you were on the podcast, we talked about people

like toxic sets.

Yeah.

And people losing their temper.

What I never like, yeah.

I never like it when me and you talk to each other and then I leave and I'm like,

Box is a good guy, you know?

And then people always wait till Box has gone to his car and he's on the way home and then three people are like he's a fucking cunt

but then now I'm confused because I'm like yo you're sick not that I'm saying this happen I'm using example but like now I'm confused because I'm like oh was all that nice interaction that I had with Box real

or is he a dickhead or are these three chatting shit and do I need to bang them right now it's like it's a real moral quandary i'm not i've seen a couple of people do things that i don't like, but I've always like checked them on it and they've always done that.

You know, actors, I'm not an actor like that.

I don't regard myself as an actor, but you know, actors, when you catch them doing something and they know it's wrong, and you check them on it, they all go, oh,

three times it's happening, they've all gone, oh.

I know they're acting to me as well.

Yeah, yeah.

But they're like, it's been a really hard day, and I've got this going on, and my mum died in August.

But I'm like, okay, there's a lot of shit going on, but you didn't have to be a dickhead to this person over here right but I'll never I'll never that does get you sacked from jobs I have been sacked from from jobs before because there's an expectation in our industry to just is it toe the line is that the right yeah yeah yeah just toe the line but life short ain't it you want to get sacked off a job but you help stand up for somebody over here who's getting treated like shit.

That's always stuff I saw my mom doing.

My mom would never, it didn't matter how big the guy was or how dangerous they were, if she saw somebody mugging somebody else off, Zainab Khan would always step in and say, fuck you.

Oh, good for your mouth.

Yeah, I mean,

it's a hard thing to do.

I certainly like to think I would do that in that sort of situation.

But then I think about some of the situations where maybe it hasn't been a total meltdown, but someone's been really yelling on a set or whatever.

And

my initial reaction is to just giggle nervously because you just think this is ridiculous.

Why are tempers getting so heated about a fucking TV show?

This is mad.

So you sort of can't really believe it's happening, and then too late you think, oh, actually, that must have been humiliating for the person who was being yelled at.

But then also, bro, it's this specific industry that we've spoken about before, which is if my man had started that and he was like assistant manager in Liddle,

somebody would have head-butted him and he would have been in fucking sleep and he would have never done done it again.

Because this is this, like, it's not real life, it's pretend bullshit.

I suppose that's the thing.

Yeah, exactly.

Because you're trying to create something from nothing.

You're kind of trying to catch lightning in a bottle when you're, especially making a film, which is a very difficult thing to do.

And so the madness just gets hold of people, I suppose.

I mean, one day there will be footage of me absolutely losing my shit somewhere, probably on the platform of Cambridge Station

at some hapless rail employee.

But remember, earlier on with the parenting and the hypocrisy stuff, yeah?

Yeah.

If that footage does come out, I'll still be like,

Box my boy, though.

That's my boy.

Do you know what I mean?

So look, I wanted to ask you about, I've got a fantasy that I'm going to, I'm trying to get myself onto the Bake Off.

Who'd you say again?

You know, the great British Bake Off?

That's your fantasy to go on there.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, the celebrity one, you know what I mean?

Oh, yeah, okay, yeah.

Would you ever go on a show like that?

Fuck no.

Why not?

Like people going on TV and the whole show is about making like cakes

and cookies.

Yeah.

Don't do that in your house, bro.

I wouldn't go, nah.

Yeah, but you're being judged by Prue Leith and Paul Hollywood with his amazing blue eyes.

You might get the handshake from Paul Hollywood if you do a good bit of baking.

Is that what happens?

Yeah.

You give your handshake.

You get a handshake, and it's the highest accolade known to man.

I don't know who am I to judge.

In your house, if you won this, would you finally be like, yeah, dad, you're sick?

Yes, I think so.

Then that's fine.

Then you have to do what you have to do.

What about, have you been on any of those kinds of shows?

What, bake-offs?

Well, you know, like a sort of reality.

Well, you've been on Taskmaster.

I guess that's different.

Oh, yeah, that's different, though, man.

That's different.

They want you to like bake a cake, and then if you want to shit in the cake, you can shit in the cake.

It's a whole different thing.

It's a wonderful thing.

Yeah.

You can't really do that.

You know, you know, Ali.

Have you done it yet?

What, taking a shit in a cake?

No, haven't you done Taskmaster yet?

Oh, Taskmaster.

No, that's a sore point.

Why?

Because, you know, I know.

Now, say what you say what it is.

Because I think I would do a good job on Taskmaster.

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

So, let me get this right.

Fuck Bake Off, leave it where it is, okay?

You would actually like to do Taskmaster, and no one's bailed you, giving you the call for it.

Is that what you're saying?

I'm saying, yeah, that is what I'm saying.

I've had Alex on the podcast, and he said, Oh, you're on the long list, but it's a very long,

it's a very long

have you got his number?

Yeah, let's call him now.

Call him, call him, call him, call him, call him, call him, call him, bro, call him, call him, call him, call him, call him.

Because

here's the thing, yeah,

you're a lovely guy, He's a lovely guy.

There's no need for this long list thing here going on.

Please bell him.

Please bell him now.

And we're going to fix this thing right now.

Yeah, do it, man.

Do it.

Do it, man.

It's not good.

I think it might jeopardize my friendship with Alex Horne if I ring and say,

hey, Alex, I'm doing a show in Manchester, and there's a crowd of a thousand people here who want to know why I haven't been on Taskmaster.

He's going to be like, no, but ordinarily, but

if you do say one more bit of information, Guz made me make the phone call, it's going to go, I promise you're going to be alright.

Yeah.

Because he wanted to, I think, I think he wanted to kick me off the show like six times.

Why did he want to kick me off?

Because I threatened to throw an iron through the stained glass window in that house.

Why?

Just, he said, you can do what you want.

I said anything.

I said anything.

He said, anything you want, Guz.

And I said, I'm going to throw this iron that stained glass window.

And he said, you're not allowed to do that.

I said, motherfucker, you told me I could do what I want.

Call him.

We're going to fix this now.

Come on.

Come on, bro.

All right.

This feels like a mistake.

You're not thinking.

This is good.

Hello.

Alex,

it's Adam Buxton.

I'm on stage, just so you know.

Alex!

Which which stage, Adam?

I'm on stage in Manchester

at the Albert Hall,

and

I'm here with Guz Khan.

Alex?

Ah!

Alex!

I'm not interested.

Whatever you're selling.

Alex, how are you, my bro?

Girls can.

I'm pretty good, my bro.

Alex, listen.

Brother,

forget all the people that he imagine they're not even here, yeah?

This is me, you, and Box.

We're in a Dixie Chicken, 2 a.m.

in the morning.

Yes,

strawberry Mirandas.

The conversation's going wild.

Now, Box looks at me and I look at you, and Box says, you know what, brother?

I would actually legit love to be on Taskmaster.

And then I look at him.

Hold on, wait, wait, wait, hold on, hold on.

But just to confirm this, Alex, I have to say to you, say, Wallahi, you want to be on the show?

Say wallahi.

Wallahi.

You say, wallahi.

Wallahi, yes.

And I say, you're a beautiful guy, because you are.

Adam Buxton is a beautiful guy.

Your energies are unmatched.

I'm your brown boy from the Midlands.

Please, can you just do the thing and make sure Box is on your show?

Because I think it'd be a beautiful combination.

I fucking love both of you.

Don't make this long cuz.

Chat shit get banged.

Can we do this, please?

Please.

Wallahi?

Yes!

There's a combination!

Alex?

Yes, Adam.

Alex, I'm aware that

this is probably.

Alex, I'm aware that this is most likely likely the end of our friendship.

Well, it was also the beginning when you called me.

It's the first ever time.

I was made to do this by Gus Khan,

who was trying to make my dreams come true.

I was chatting to him about Taskmaster and my love for Taskmaster, and that's how it happened.

Well, it would genuinely make my dreams come true.

So let's let's sort this out once and for all,

Alex, thank you so much for taking this call.

I will check in with you later to make a fulsome apology.

But this is the sound of Manchester saying thank you, Alex Horne.

Okay, good Manchester, by Manchester.

I'm hanging up now.

I mean,

I think that couldn't really have gone better.

On the other hand, he's probably now deleting my number

and blocking me from every avenue of approach.

Happy birthday!

Happy birthday!

Yeah, bro, that's a no-brainer.

That's just some bullshit where you think he's cool, he thinks you're really cool, and he's like, would he do it?

He just needed

one prick to be like, Do the tinkers, and that's it.

And you know what I mean?

So, I'm happy, bro.

You're gonna be sick on that show.

We're gonna love watching it.

Fucking listen,

thank you very much.

I know this isn't a good reference, but it did feel like being on Jim will fix it.

Don't take that the wrong way.

Thanks, thanks.

But

Bakoff, Off.

Now, what can you do?

What can you do for me there?

Do you have the producer's number?

Is that brother still on Bake Off?

Which one?

Paul Hollywood?

Not Paul Hollywood.

There's Noel Field in.

Yes.

Yeah, call him.

Call him, Missouri.

I don't think I have Noel's number.

But this is what I would do, though.

If I went on that show, I've got it all worked out.

I've got a song about baking that I think is going to seal the deal.

And this is something that I used AI for, and it's a song about baking pies.

I the only thing is that I did have fun with this one, trying to get the AI to use some bad language.

Because when you use AI music generating software, the platforms I've been using, they don't like you to swear.

If you put in sweary lyrics, it says does not compute, Try again.

They don't like hate speech and swearing.

So you have to find ways around it.

Not the hate speech, I haven't put any hate speech in.

I don't think that's going to get me on bake-off.

But I did try to do some with a bit of fruity language, and this was the result.

I baked you a pie,

I baked you a pie,

I baked you a fucking pie.

I baked you a pie,

I baked you a pie,

I baked you a fucking pie.

I made it sweet as a fucking treat.

I know you like sweet pie.

There's sugar shit all over it.

I baked you a fucking pie.

I baked you a pie

I baked you a pie

I baked you a fucking pie

I baked you a pie

I baked you a pie

I baked you a fucking pie

Fucking honey that you'd so runny

I baked you a fucking pie

Sweet, sweet ya

ma vaca.

I baked you a fucking pie.

I baked you a fucking pie.

There we go.

So that's my plan.

This time next year, I hope to be able to say that I have been on either Taskmaster or Bake Off.

It's my dream.

Or both?

Or both?

Or both.

One more time before we go, can we just get a happy birthday to you?

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to

Harlows.

Happy birthday to you.

Hey, thanks, this is the best birthday I've had

for a long time.

Thank you very much.

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Continue.

Hey, welcome back, podcats.

That was Guz Khan and the wonderful audience at the Albert Hall in Manchester last year, June 2024.

And I was very grateful to them all for showing me a wonderful night.

What an amazing birthday that was.

Of course, the question is,

when will you be seeing me on Taskmaster?

Well, as I speak,

there hasn't yet been a follow-up call, but I mean, it was a promising first step, wasn't it?

Anyway, thank you so much to Guz

and to everyone there that night,

especially Seamus Murphy Mitchell and everyone from the Albert Hall who made us feel very welcome.

Thanks to the Crosstown Promotions crew, Dan, Liam, Katie, Ben and Richard.

If you go into the description of today's podcast, you will find a link that will take you to my website where you'll find a photograph of me and Guz with Seamus in the background, just before we went on stage that night.

I've also put a link to a compilation of Salim the Dream

going up and moaning in people's ears in

hardware stores in America.

I mean, it looks really ill-advised to me.

People are genuinely angry, freaked out, upset to have him go up and moan in a sexual way into their ear.

They don't know how to respond.

They're freaked out because Salim just looks completely gormless when they turn around, so they're not sure what the deal is.

They don't know if he's

been threatening or coming onto them or taking their piss or what the deal is.

It does tweak my anti-prank nipples, but there's no denying that it's fairly compelling viewing.

Anyway, that's there, as well as the video for my AI baking song, I Baked You a Pie.

And to be clear, the music was generated by AI,

but the words were my own.

Since then,

everything's changed in the world of AI

and you can swear it up.

The platform that I was using then now no longer has a problem with swearing.

As for any other kind of inflammatory language, I'm not sure I haven't tested it.

When I did that one, I baked you a pie.

It took me so long to find spellings that would fool it into saying

the F word and the other sweary words.

Time well spent though, I'm sure you'll agree.

Last weekend, I was in Sheffield with Joe Cornish Cornish at the Sheffield Dock Fest and we did an event

in which we were introduced on stage by Fenton Bailey and Randy Barbato from World of Wonder Productions who produced the Adam and Joe Show back in the day and they had been curating various events at the Dock Fest

of which we were one.

So Joe and I spent just over an hour doing yet more reminiscing and looking back back through lots of videos I had trawled through the archives and put together a few bits and pieces from the Adam and Joe show as well as some bits of home video and a few examples of some of the things that we used to like to watch in those days.

It was good fun actually and we had a really good audience.

I signed some books afterwards.

So thanks very much if you came along and I hope that we might get to do something similar again.

Maybe later in the year, maybe next year.

Next year is going to be the 30th anniversary of the first Adam and Joe show that we did.

I'll let you know if anything materializes.

But yeah, thanks if you came.

If you'd like to join me for more chat around my book, I Love You Bye!

Which I hope you own a copy of.

Don't forget to pick up that audio book as well with all that bonus content, including a whole hour brand new podcast with me and Joe waffling about it and other things.

Come along to the Mannington Book Bash.

It's a very nice boutique.

Is it a boutique?

I don't know what makes a boutique a boutique, just that it's small.

If that's the case, then it is a boutique literary festival that takes place

in the grounds of a beautiful moated medieval country house, Mannington Hall in Norfolk.

It takes place between the 25th and the 28th of September this year.

It's organized by the independent Norwich bookshop, The Book Hive.

And I will be doing two events there on Saturday, the 27th of September.

The first one is 4 p.m.

with me waffling about the book with another human, TBC,

and I will be signing some books either immediately after that event or the next event which is going to be at 6 p.m.

I think

on the Saturday and that will be me interviewing a comedy hero of mine Nigel Planer

aka Neil of the Young Ones and star of so many of those brilliant comic strip films back in the day

as well as sitcoms thereafter.

He is also the author of fiction books as well as now a memoir called Young Once about those days with the comic strip.

Comes out later this year.

Very much looking forward to meeting Nigel.

I hope you can make it along.

There's a link to buy tickets and find out more in the description.

Okay, that's it for this week.

Thank you so much.

Once again to Seamus Murphy Mitchell and to Becca Bryers.

Thanks to Helen Green, she does the artwork for this podcast.

Thank you to everyone at ACAST for all their help the Azing with my sponsors.

But thank you, especially to all of you.

Would you care for a hot, creepy hug?

Of course you would.

I don't smell too bad today.

And

I've brushed off most of the insects from my toweling top.

So come here.

Hey, good to see you.

All right.

Please go carefully.

And for what it's worth, I love you.

Bye.

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