MIA KHALIFA Talks Viral Fame, Fatwa, Being the Goat

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Do you have autism?

Yeah.

Everyone.

It's all

a spectrum.

No, I don't think I have any spectacles.

No one's fully straight.

No, I don't think I'm autistic at all.

Oh.

I cry everything.

Yeah, yeah.

It used to be called Rude.

I'm

dead.

Remember Rude?

Remember Rude?

Do you remember Rude?

They bring Brandon.

Remember Rude, yeah.

Now somebody changed their logo like Jaguar.

He's trying to be a f ⁇ ing dickhead.

And they're like, he's just, he's so autistic.

And I'm like, I don't care.

What am I?

I need to read the DSM too.

I'm not a doctor.

Welcome to the Adam Friedland Show guys.

It's Adam Friedland.

First off, as always, I want to thank our channel members for supporting the show.

If you'd like to become a member, you can click the link in the description.

You get early access to all of our episodes, discounts on merch and if you subscribe to the second or third tiers you'll get your name in the credits of every episode of this find program also there's a link to our patreon if you prefer supporting the show through patreon also i'd like to note that our merch store has been restocked go to adamfriedland.show to check out our stuff we have t-shirts hats they sold out real quick last time get them before they're gone again my guest this week is media personality and influencer mia khalifa Mia, or Sarah as I know her and all of her friends, that's what her friends call her, first came to prominence in 2015 for her brief stint as an adult film actress.

She quickly became a global phenomenon earning her the title of most searched adult actress for both 2016 and 2018.

And now of course this is the part where I do some hilarious bit before I show you my interview.

But let me be clear, I'm not going to go there this week.

Folks, as my star rises, the target on my back gets bigger and bigger, and the margin for error gets smaller and smaller.

Piers Morgan is watching everything I do.

The man is relentless and dogged, and I have to be mindful and careful not to lose everything that I've worked so hard for.

I'm fairly certain, also, that I think I'm being followed.

I don't know if it's Piers.

I think it could be a member of my family.

Anyway, guys,

this might be tough for some of you, but it's become clear that my days of being an immature baby for an adoring audience are over.

I'm an adult now.

I have to be.

It's true, my guest this week was a beautiful woman, but as you'll see, I treated her like I would any other guest, be it hot guy, ugly woman, or hip-hop and R ⁇ B legend.

So if you've come here for nasty jokes, you can turn off now.

This is an adult show for an adult audience.

I'm no longer making making baby stuff for babies.

I'm in the adult industry now.

So pour yourself a glass of wine, maybe, sit back on a piece of white furniture and enjoy my thought-provoking conversation with Mia Khalifa.

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Ladies and gentlemen, cultural icon media personality, Mia Khalifa, everyone.

Big clap.

Hi.

Hi.

Nice to meet you.

Thank you for coming.

Thank you for having me.

Your tissues are there.

Thank you.

She brought tissues because of my boogers during Sarah Jennifer's departure.

It's so embarrassing.

No, it's not.

Do you have a change of

diaper?

Okay, why did we start this way?

Thank you for coming on.

I guess, like, so, you know, how do we start this thing?

Like, where do we start?

We started at the beginning, right?

We started at the beginning, yeah.

10,000 BC.

No, no, no.

I want to start,

what is the date today, of course?

Oh, happy 9-11.

It's not.

Just stop it with your edge lord jokes, okay?

Oh my god.

Okay, we're not going to start that way, but you moved to America shortly after or shortly before 9-11.

Shortly before.

Okay.

You are from Lebanon, right?

You're born there, and you moved here, what, you were 11 or something?

I was 8.

Elementary.

2001.

Yeah.

2001.

And you moved to the greater DC area.

Yeah.

Right?

And you moved during a time of like Islamophobia,

anti-Escale.

I guess it was always there, but yeah.

I think it escalated after 9-11.

Yeah.

And now it's kind of back, right?

Yeah.

It's kind of vintage.

Cyclical.

It feels like a little bit like...

It feels like a little Toby Keith, like kind of post-9-11 moment we're having again right now.

Yeah.

We'll stick a boot in your ass.

Stick a boot in your ass.

Kind of a good song.

It's so fucking good.

You know, I love this bar also.

Great song.

Yeah.

What else?

I love country music, actually.

I do too.

Yeah, what's your favorite?

Florida, Georgia line.

You like that one?

No, I like...

Baby, you're a star, you make me want to roll my window down and creep.

You know that one?

it's actually good you want to harmonize with me do that again zach

he's teaching me harmony right now zach the intern how to harmonize yeah yeah he's actually we we

i shouldn't say it on the camera should i i'm just turn away from the camera okay we do friday afternoon choir uh me me and the four employees that's so beautiful all of you just stand like what is there pedestals do you i i grew up jewish so i am jewish but like i always wanted to do like christian songs like oh that's so beautiful amazing grace it seems so beautiful if you get get to do that at church so now I make uh like a virgin is also a beautiful I don't think that's from church I do is it yeah I think it's about it's about Mary like a virgin touched for the very first time I think it's about getting your pussy no her being touched by the power of God like a prayer is that a is that a that's about a

uh blow jobs

is that is that Madonna?

Yeah, my mom used to play that in the car, and I used to ask her what it was about, and she said, stop talking.

You moved to Montgomery County, Maryland.

Yes.

Gaithersburg.

Gaithersburg, Maryland.

Sarah Mia is from the same town as Mr.

Nick Mullen.

Give it up for him, everyone.

My former partner.

Where did he go to high school?

I don't know.

You don't have that off the top of your head?

I think he was

a

community college.

He just skipped high school, went straight from middle school to community college.

I think he

got an early GED and then community college.

I think he was a bad boy.

I went to military boarding school.

Yeah, yeah.

So what led you to that?

You were a bad kid?

Smoking reefer.

Really?

Your parents caught you smoking trees?

Mine did too.

Yeah.

But they would never send me to the Army.

What Army did they send you to?

No, literally, it was the feeding school for West Point.

It was an Army.

It was like Army, not nation.

Were you good at the Army when you were?

I was so good.

Really?

I was so good.

I loved it so much.

What did you have to do?

Like, make your bed and stuff?

Yeah, and I still can do hospital corners.

You could bounce a quarter off of.

Really?

Yeah.

You make your bed every day now because of the army?

No.

I like getting back into a bed with like crumpled sheets.

What?

What like what is like the so you went for the rest of high school to military school?

So you didn't really have have like a like a typical high school experience?

I feel like I had more of a normal experience there than at public school.

Did you speak English before you moved to the States or you only spoke?

No I spoke French and Arabic.

French there.

Yeah, because I went to a French school.

So how did, like what moment did you feel like you'd integrated into American culture like after you moved to your elementary school?

I'll let you know.

You still don't feel like that?

I mean you have an American accent.

Yeah.

You like

Arab people see me as American, not Arab.

Yeah, right.

But for me, like my parents come from a different country and like I also like you like sports and films, right?

Yeah.

And like that was one way that I kind of learned American culture.

Me too.

That's why I embedded myself so deeply into sports.

I felt like I was...

Like I it gave me something to talk to the kids about at school the next day.

So I very much obsessed over football and basketball and that's how I kind of found my little friend groups.

Yeah yeah.

You've advocated publicly to change the name back to Redskins?

Multiple.

No.

Is that true?

No, I hope not.

You said I want it to be bullets and redskins again.

Okay bullets?

Bullets we can talk about.

That's on the table.

You played lacrosse as well?

That's very mid-Atlantic, right?

It's very white.

Did you put bitches on the deck when you were playing?

No, I did not.

I actually got a concussion and now there's a little hole in my head.

You want to feel it?

Yeah, I guess so.

Oh, God, that's disgusting.

You want to feel something disgusting on my head?

Here.

What is that?

Oh, it's fucked up, no?

Are you okay?

I've just had it my whole life.

It's like a massive, disgusting mole.

Oh.

Yeah, that's why if I go bald, I'm...

Oh, yeah, I can't go bald either.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

You can't go bald as well.

Yeah.

Thank God, dude.

That's my biggest fear, actually.

I had a dream the other night that I woke up bald.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, yeah.

And I was like, what do I do?

Get a wig.

I think I would go rough.

I would go turkey.

What does that mean?

Oh, to turkey?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay.

Have you been there before for a procedure?

No, I do all of mine in L.A.

What procedures have you had?

You have had your shoes?

I've got my nose done, yeah.

Got my implants.

I have breast implants.

What else have I done?

I mean, other than like the...

little injectables here and there.

I'm thinking about getting a BBL myself, but I would only go to South America for that.

Got to go to Columbia.

Yeah.

Well, I get a lot of like Instagram reels for

BBL promotion?

For like BL.

I don't know why it's on my Instagram, but it's like, no, no, for hair replacement and Columbia dress.

You have gray hair, though.

I know, thank God.

Thank God.

All right.

I saw,

I went through your letterboxed.

Oh, God.

And I was actually upset by one of them.

Which one?

Harry Met Sally.

Oh, wait, what did I say about that one?

You gave it three stars.

Yeah, it's a three-star.

It's a three- Okay, but a three-star and a like is different than just a three-star.

What are you talking about?

A three-star and a like.

There's a difference.

It's very nuanced.

You're really.

No, it's just, it's one of the worst movies.

No.

No, it's

the reason why.

It's a very upsetting movie to me.

Why?

Because he doesn't deserve her.

Why doesn't he deserve her?

Because his face looks like Niockey.

Every joke he's telling, she's laughing at, and it's not funny.

He's like doing like, hello, mammy.

And she's so gorgeous, and she's like, ha ha ha ha.

I'm like, that's not funny.

He's being disgusting.

Isn't that Nancy Myers' fault?

That's a funny thing.

I just don't like him.

And then sometimes I think, like, when I have a girlfriend, is that what it looks like?

Does it look like Harry and Sally?

No.

No, I think it does.

I think I'm.

Because my greatest fear is that I am like that Billy Crit, like Billy Crystal in that movie.

What?

Absolutely not.

Disgusting.

Yeah.

Have you seen me do my Jasmine character, Sally?

What else is he in?

Also, that's the only thing.

City Slickers?

City Slickers 2, Curly's Gold?

And City Slickers 3?

No, is there a 3?

No.

But those are the only two you named City Slickers and City Slickers 2.

So, wait, so how would you describe yourself in high school, though?

Like, when you were popular?

No, not at all.

Not at all.

I weighed 170 pounds.

I had a unibrow.

You were a big girl?

170?

Yeah.

You're a B girl.

I was a big girl.

I was security big.

Really?

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

And so then, like, when did,

like, when did you lose weight, I guess?

Post-fat is like kind of a genesis of evil, I feel like.

Yeah, like, like, between 19 and 20.

19 and 20.

Yeah.

I feel like a lot of like

that guy Richard Spencer, do you remember that alt-right guy?

I was like, that guy definitely was like 250 pounds, and now he hates

minorities.

Oh, no, I don't hate minorities.

I'm just saying, I was fat.

There's a hate that's in a lot of them boys' hearts.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Because it's like...

A little resentment.

I think so, yeah.

I have a lot of friends that grew up fat and they're like, they think of themselves still as fat.

You don't understand how hard it is.

Oh, no, that stays with you for a long time.

And that's why you seek validation.

Really?

Yeah.

Really?

You got to go to therapy.

Like if you if you lose weight,

yeah, no, for real.

For real, because then you're suffering, then in your head, you're still behaving like that.

Oh, you time it when the camera's on.

Stop it.

That's embarrassing.

It's tough.

What's the ass straight forward?

Be a man.

Smoke a cigarette.

I can't do it in here.

Does anyone have?

I'm not going to smoke bogs.

Okay.

Yeah, I feel like that's a tough addiction to have food, right?

Because it's like

an unhealthy relationship with food.

right but it's like you can't quit food no and to be completely transparent i'm on ozempic now because the fucking like mental battle of like battling with binging or like borderline anorexia and like over controlling or like overworking out that takes care of all of that what does ozembic do if you have any food you vomit it out no you just or you crap it out immediately i what i i don't know the way i react on it is um i eat when i'm hungry and i don't crave things that

I shouldn't be eating.

So I just have a normal relationship with food now.

I don't eat as like a coping mechanism.

It must be tough, yeah, because

it's like you have to have a healthy amount of crack every day.

Right?

Just a little bit, which is

basically what high school kids are on.

On what?

Crack?

Adderall.

Isn't that the same thing?

No, I'm just saying, like, you can't, if you have a food addiction, you have to just have like, it's not like you can't go cold turkey.

You have to just have a little bit of crack every day.

Yeah, yeah.

Just a little little Oreo here and there.

Crush it up, sniff it.

Growing up post-9-11, what was your experience with prejudice, you know,

especially in the DMV?

What were your experiences after moving to America?

Well, my nickname was Sand Enward.

What?

Really?

Yeah.

Me and the other Indian kids in school.

No, it's not.

It's not.

But we were also in elementary, middle school.

So,

you know.

They used that one in elementary?

Oh, my my god you're Lebanese

in Australia they're like so racist like I was a I was in an Uber and someone's like you don't want to go down there it's a bunch of good accent it's a bunch of Lebos and I was like oh my god what was like I was like lesbians and he's like no Lebos Lebanese and I was like there's like four million of them on earth and you have a slur for it oh my god Lebo's the best at slurs yeah that's hilarious they use it in everything no I've never heard it yeah it sounds endearing I like it it's kind of cute right yeah yeah yeah.

Yeah, it's like a beanie baby name.

Yeah.

Look at a little layback.

Yeah.

I think that like I've watched, I've like done a lot of research, I've watched a bunch of interviews with you, and it's kind of like you have kind of a thing that you're asked about constantly.

But what's more interesting, I think, is before

your kind of viral success and then after your viral success.

It's very interesting.

You only worked in the industry for what, like a matter of weeks?

A couple months, yeah.

A couple months.

Yeah.

Three months.

And what was like, how much money did you make while you were doing it?

Like, not very much.

$11,000.

$11,000, right?

Was there a concept at the time that

the work you were doing was like a success?

Or like...

No, no.

And there was no intention for anything to be successful.

That wasn't ever the intent.

It was,

I mean, honestly, it was just extremely poor judgment and extremely poor foresight.

Like, I didn't think further ahead past where I was in that moment at 20, which as I mentioned earlier,

when you've never had male attention in your entire life.

You just lost weight?

Yeah.

Really?

Yeah.

Oh, interesting.

And after I had lost the weight, I got a breastfeeding.

No, I got, well, yes, I was, yes, I was in a relationship at the time, but no, I got my breast augmentation.

And so everything came at once.

So it was like the movie She's All That.

It's like you took your glasses off and you're the weird art girl and then you've you've taken the glasses off.

Exactly when she's coming down the

movie.

With Freddie Prinz Jr.

Yeah, what happened to him?

I think he's not problematic.

He's on Little St.

James.

What?

No, I don't know.

Oh my god.

What happened to Freddie Prinz Jr.?

Isn't he married to

Elaine Maxwell?

No!

Leave him out of this.

They're unproblematic.

Who's he married to?

Sarah Michelle Gallagher.

Yes.

What?

Yeah.

He got Buffy?

No, he got his...

No, they were both in Scooby-Doo.

Oh, my God, he got Daphne.

He got his Scooby-Tree.

No, he got

Daphne.

Daphne.

Valma's there, like, oh, brother.

Oh, brother.

Where are my glasses, Scooby?

Oh, brother.

Okay.

I guess.

Oh, that was Scooby.

Okay, anyway.

I think that's it.

So none of the rabbis that were on set said, like, this is going to be huge.

No one said that at all?

No, but I did tell them that

they're going to get me killed.

Why?

By who?

What do you mean?

Family?

No, no, no.

Just by, in general, when it was

when I was told what I was going to be wearing and what I was going to be doing.

Oh, that thing.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

The hijaby.

Yeah.

I think it's like interesting.

It's like I was thinking about how to handle it.

And

normal Adam was like, oh, I don't know what that is.

But I think, yeah, in a real sense, probably every guy you've met.

and a lot of women you've met are like uh are familiar with it you know and it's just like um you became a viral sensation but like what I was wondering is like, to what extent, like, like, whether or not you realized that this has like become incredibly famous.

So at that moment, I still thought that no one was ever going to find out about this.

Right.

But I think the way it happened was very

just circumstantial.

It was very like, it was just lightning in a bottle because of everything that was happening in the world at the time.

Charlie Hebdo had just happened.

Me too had just really taken off.

There was a lot of social things going on that

really were the reason why I was a part of that and why it kind of exploded the way it did.

You're from an immigrant family, like so am I, right?

Like was one of your concerns that

it would cause a rift in a traditional immigrant family?

Not necessarily, because I did not think anyone would ever find out.

So everything happened very...

very quickly.

And subsequently, did it cause tension in the family?

Yeah, yeah, we were estranged for a long time after that.

Right.

I guess, like, you were telling me on the phone, like, you got a job, so like, after getting out, like,

you left on your own terms.

It was only a matter of a couple of years.

Yeah, after everything kind of happened like that, I, I mean, obviously, yeah, that wasn't the intention, and that is not what I wanted to do or be doing.

I basically just had my early 20s slutty phase in front of everybody in the world.

But you were telling me you got a job and...

I did, yeah.

I was a bookkeeper at a construction firm.

And is that when it dawned on you?

Like, what was the moment where it dawned on you that like every

that the world was like

you were famous?

I felt like a burden at the office because any clients who would come in, anytime I would have to go onto a job site, anytime I would have to do anything that involved interacting with other people who didn't just work in the office with me, it was it was a huge distra like not not a distraction, but like

I realized that that I can never work a normal job again.

What were the guys doing?

Were they like,

yeah.

They're busting in their pants?

Every guy that walked in?

No, but there was like whispers and talks, and you know what I mean?

And did it cause you to be paranoid?

It caused you like...

Yeah, there was a lot of instances where like I just had interactions with people that I realized, wow, my life is not the same.

I can't go to the grocery store.

I can't go to the laundromat.

I can't do any of these things.

And like, how did you process that stress that put you under?

I didn't process it for a really long time.

I didn't start therapy until like 2016, 2017.

And that's when I started processing it.

But until then, I was just lashing out on anybody who would cross my boundaries, even though I didn't know what my boundaries were quite yet.

And it caused you to lose trust in people?

Did it affect your sex life?

Yes, I imagine it would.

Very much so.

Yeah, and it still does.

Yeah, absolutely.

I can't even

mentally get past somebody

wanting to be with me for the novelty or for that reason.

So I'd much rather just be alone.

I've been in

two long-term relationships since then, and

that's it in the last 10 years.

I remember there being a response in the Arab world.

Yeah.

You received fatwas, is that right?

Yeah.

I mean,

I don't know if it's an an official one, but I'm not going to.

What's an official fatwa?

I think when the government does a press release and, like, officially announces it.

And there's a seal, they get it notarized.

Ready?

I feel like they need to be notarized.

It worked out for Rushdie, right?

He gets hot girls because of the fatwa.

Really?

Where are my hot girls?

He got the one.

I got one.

He got...

What's her name from,

what's her name?

Top chef.

Padma?

He got Padma Lakshmi.

Wait, she?

I love her so much.

There's an episode occurred where he's like, yeah, this guy's cleaning up because of the fatwa.

Oh, my God.

Do you think it's my turn?

And your fame is sustained.

That's what's interesting is that you went from virality to like proper fame, right?

Around 2017, is that correct?

Around 2017, what?

You reopened your Instagram account.

2016, yeah.

2016.

What was the impetus behind that decision?

That was at the same time that I left the construction firm and decided to be literally an influencer.

Yeah.

My goal was to reopen Instagram because

ISIS Sympathizers Sympathizers had hacked my Instagram, so Instagram shut it down.

ISIS did it.

Yeah, they were posting like propaganda.

So Instagram immediately shut it down, and I didn't have an Instagram for like a year, and I worked a normal job and all of these things.

So yeah, I reopened Instagram, moved to Austin, Texas.

Oh, nice.

Comedy mothership, yeah.

Yeah, exactly.

And yeah, just tried to be an influencer.

Did you have like

a kind of management or like?

I haven't had management until three years ago.

You can't trust these people.

No, it's not that.

It's just.

They're so annoying.

They're like, take pictures of yourself looking sexy and put it in GQ and every comedian is going to make fun of you, Adam.

Yeah, hold the mic this way.

They'll love that.

You just lay on the ground and

twirl the wire.

Every comedian is going to just shit on you in every group chat.

No.

So wait, but you've been remarkably successful, right?

You've become kind of like a media personality and like a cultural figure, right?

In a lot of your interviews, I've noticed that you talk

there are two words that are like kind of come up and one you talk about shame and then but you talk about regret, right?

Yeah.

Like

can you like talk about shame first of all and like how what your understanding is I'll give a soliloquy about shame.

Go off queen.

I'll talk about shame all day.

Go off queen.

Oh my god.

I'd love to hear that.

It's such like a visceral human emotion.

I think deep down behind every negative emotion, there's a layer of shame there.

And shame is a really, really really difficult thing to get past because

along with shame comes guilt and comes regret and comes all of these other emotions that are just,

they're very overwhelming and they feel suffocating.

And you feel very trapped when you're dealing with shame or trying to work through it.

And shame is something

to overcome, is that what you're saying?

Yeah, I believe so.

It's a negative emotion, right?

I think it can also be a positive one.

Like if you have no shame, you probably are not a good person.

You should have a little bit of shame sometimes.

And what's the difference in your mind between shame and regret, I guess?

I regret things that I'm not ashamed of.

Like I regret speeding and getting a ticket.

Because you're being a bad citizen, right?

If you cut someone off in traffic.

No, I don't regret that.

You don't regret that?

No.

Everyone gets their turn getting cut off.

So you have no shame, you're saying.

Not in that instance.

I think that's a good question.

But if I were to be pulled over for not using a turn signal, I would have regret, not shame.

Okay.

I mean, you've become an incredibly impressive and successful person.

So how do you manage shame and regret in relation to

your instant virality?

Therapy.

Therapy.

Therapy.

I've worked through that for years, and I'm still working through it, but the battle isn't as tough as it was seven years ago.

Now it's just maintaining.

Yeah.

I don't know.

And reminding myself, like, I don't need to carry that guilt.

I made a mistake.

I was a kid.

Everybody makes mistakes.

Everything is fine.

I didn't kill anybody.

You didn't make your money mining blood diamonds.

I mean, I think that you probably

didn't do anything.

I think

you didn't do anything any harm.

No.

In fact, you made some folks feel all right.

Oh my god.

No, sorry.

I mean, like, honestly, it's not like a net negative on society, right?

Like, uh...

No, but

there are people who,

like, like I don't give a fuck what the what the incels on the internet think, but I do give a fuck about what

Fatima 713 you know thinks because she's being called Mia Khalifa, but she's deeply religious and it makes her feel like she's being oversexualized.

So like that that gives me guilt and shame.

You're a good, you're still good.

You could be a good person.

You're not like, you don't own a rubber plant.

You still have a chance to be a good person.

No, I mean you don't own a rubber plantation in Africa, in the Congo.

No, I'm not mining for.

Right.

You didn't like take advantage of anyone.

Like, you, I don't know.

You just like, I don't know.

You make $6 million a month?

No.

So, sick?

No, that's crazy.

I wouldn't be here if I did.

You wouldn't be here?

Absolutely not.

You would never see me again.

I would be a ghost.

You would never see me again.

What would you be doing if you had a Billy?

Building a moat.

A moat.

I would buy a sports team.

If you had $6 million, you think you can buy a sports team with $6 million?

Oh, a Billy.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I'd build a moat.

I'd build a moat.

Where, in Florida?

Florida.

No, that's a motion.

Miami?

I do.

Do you have like a animal?

Would you put like, you know, sharks and stuff in there?

No, I'd put crocodiles.

Those are way more realistic.

Oh, that's kind of, in this day and age, a little tough.

I would buy a sports team.

What sport?

I would buy like a shit soccer team and do like what

the guy from It's Always Sunny and Ryan Reynolds have done.

What?

They have a soccer team?

They have a soccer team and then the whole town likes them and they do shots with the Welsh guys in the town.

Oh, you just want friends

A lot of friends.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

You want more.

That's what it sounds like you.

Who's your best friend?

Well, Samantha.

Samantha.

Samantha.

Hi.

Samantha is your best.

What's your guys' vibe

as a crew?

You and Samantha?

Me and Samantha?

Well, you know.

You do face masks?

We actually see each other like once a year.

She lives in Boston.

Oh, come on.

I see my friends all the time.

They just happen to be my employees.

She knows more about me than anyone else.

I talk to her more than anybody else.

Really?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, I don't know.

I was trying to think, like, actually,

it's kind of an interesting question.

It's like

for you to have gained success for such a short amount of time doing something and then walking away on your own terms, is there any comparison in sports, art, literature, like

film?

Actually, actually, it sounds like

there would be an easy answer, and it's taken me two weeks to figure it out.

There's got to be a one and done.

Try.

I think I found the answer.

Yahoo?

No, no, you have to guess.

Okay, hold on, hold on.

You know sports too, so.

But it's not,

I won't say that it is or isn't sports.

Jordan in baseball.

He stunk at baseball.

Also, he left because of gambling and he killed his father.

Okay, couldn't he?

He killed his father.

It doesn't matter.

Did he?

Fact check that, please.

That makes him the goat.

Okay.

Wait,

let's.

I want you to guess, because it's very, it's tough.

And it can't be.

I'm trying to think of a Trapper.

You've only made one film.

It can't be.

James Dean made like three movies.

Hansen.

Hansen.

Drek.

Crap.

Okay.

And they didn't walk away from music.

They probably kept...

They just became...

Tracy.

Chapman?

Yeah.

Yeah.

How many albums?

Yeah.

How many albums?

One.

Not even one.

Was it just a single?

She didn't just make Fast Car,

she did Revelo.

She did that one.

What else did she do?

I'll look it up right now on the iPad.

I don't think that's right.

There is, okay, there is one sports comp, but I don't think it works perfectly.

Who?

Jim Brown, maybe.

Oh my god.

He just left to be a civil rights icon.

Same and an actor.

Okay,

I want you to.

Okay, here's the clue.

It's in literature.

Oh, who wrote one book?

No.

It's one of the books.

Oh, Homer.

Homer wrote the Iliad.

Oh, fuck, he did too.

And yeah, that shit is mad long, too.

That's not a couple of months.

It doesn't have to be a couple of months, but it has to be like a short amount of time.

We don't know how fast he wrote it.

Are you going to interview him?

Homer?

Okay, it's one of the best books ever.

We all read it in school.

We all read it in school.

yeah we did it's a got a great uh message wait 96 to present she's been making albums Tracy Chapman has nine albums you're lying on her ass lying on freaking Tracy's ass wait then why is why did she come out of retirement for that for that performance what do you mean retirement not retirement but it was like her first like

you know it was a big deal because like she had gone away and she didn't like she left the public eye yeah it was a big deal that she came back she left left your eye because you just went back.

I just stopped looking.

I closed my eyes.

I didn't keep up with her.

Those eye doctors, man, I'm telling you.

Okay, it's a book we all read, I'd say probably ninth grade.

Ninth grade?

We read Catcher in the Rye.

We read.

Okay.

No, J.D.

Salinger has many.

Salinger went crazy.

He didn't walk away.

That was a.

No, but he also has many.

Freddie and Zoe is just as

F.

Scott Fitzgerald.

Oh, shit.

No, it's not.

Yes, it is.

Oh, fuck.

Is it?

Yeah.

No, it's not.

It is.

Is that Salinger?

Yeah.

Who?

I think it's Fitzgerald.

That's Fitzgerald.

No, it's Salinger.

It's Salinger.

Yeah.

So Fitzgerald made Fitzgerald.

He did Great Gatsby.

Which is the great American novel, but he did four books and 20 years of

making, doing books.

So it doesn't count.

But you're close.

You're so close right now.

It's not of Mice and Men.

I read that last week, and I know that.

What do you think about that one?

Lenny?

I'm going through all of...

Lenny.

I just want to pet the bunnies.

Oh my god.

Yeah.

So scary.

He didn't know his own strength.

I know poor guy.

No, tell me.

Tell me.

You're so close.

Think about it.

He's a great lesson for kids to have.

Oh, um, um,

the one about the dystopian

Come on, we're close.

We're right there.

The alchemist?

No.

What is it?

Okay.

Tell me, please.

I'll tell you a character.

Okay.

Boo.

Oh, my God.

Wait, no, she wrote multiple books.

No.

Boo Bradley.

One and done.

She only wrote To Kill a Mockingbird?

And then they released a second one a couple years ago, but people are like, that's half fake.

Oh, I enjoyed it because I love to kill a Mockingbirdburgbingbird.

Yeah, Harper Lee.

You're one of the greatest artists of all time.

I'm Harper Lee!

You're Harper Lee.

I'm Harper Lee.

You're kind of Harper Lee.

I'm Harper Lee.

Or you're Vince Young University of Texas, but.

I'll take either.

No, but he washed out in the league.

It doesn't count.

I didn't wash out in the league.

Yeah, Wagwan, everybody.

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So, like, in terms of your career currently, like, do you feel fulfilled in your career?

Like, what are your

motivations moving forward?

Like, do you want to make a movie?

You like movies.

I do.

What kind of movie do you want to make?

Like, a Harry Potter song?

What's your number one movie?

My number one movie of all time?

Train spotting.

Come on.

Actually, come on.

Vertigo.

Actually, okay,

it's not number one ever, though.

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

Number one ever ever.

And the only reason I'm not saying it is because it sounds way too, like, way too new, but

ask her.

Oppenheimer.

Ever?

I saw it 12 times in IMAX 70mm.

Oh, that's.

12.

I traveled to three different states.

That's 36 hours.

Yeah.

And that doesn't include streaming and regular IMAX.

That's your best ever?

Ever.

But it's because I'm autistic and was obsessed with the Enola gay as a kid.

Do you have autism?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Everyone, it's all.

No, I don't think I ever spelled it.

No one's fully straight.

No, I don't think I'm autistic at all.

Oh.

I cry everything.

Yeah, yeah.

It came around like six years ago.

Autism?

Yeah.

Because of the vaccine.

It just dropped.

Just kidding.

It used to be called Rude.

I'm dead.

Rude.

Remember, Rude?

Do you remember Rude?

They rebranded.

Remember Rude, yeah.

Now someone's like, they changed their logo like Jack.

Why would they be a fucking dickhead?

And they're like, he's just, he's so autistic.

And I'm like, I don't care.

What am I?

I need to read the DSM2.

I'm not a doctor.

You could be an eye doctor if you tried, though.

It's not a real doctor.

Exactly.

I talked about this before the episode.

Don't stop trolling me.

They're just glasses sellers.

Do you have a prescription in yours?

What are you doing?

I am a freaking liar.

My integrity is all I have.

The audience trusts me more than they trust anyone in the news media these days.

You're a journalist.

No, I'm not a journalist.

Do you think about what you would have done

had you just gone to college?

Yeah, all the time.

And be in in the fucking guts of the Smithsonian Museum.

Yeah.

Like in the basement, in the, yeah.

Like, like, just filing.

Doesn't say dinosaur bone or something?

No, because you need to be an archaeologist for that.

I would have to go to the bottom.

You could have been an archaeologist.

No, I have no interest in that.

I have interest in...

You would have been a file collector.

Data collection and filing, yeah.

Oh, you are autistic.

Yeah.

Proper autism.

That sounds like the suckiest thing ever.

No, no.

Are you kidding?

You get to work in the basement.

No one gets to talk to you.

There's no windows.

It's a dream.

That sounds really scary.

No, it's amazing.

I used to have to do filing.

Do you know how many colors the Smithsonian has in their possession that don't exist anymore?

No?

What?

What was that question?

How many colors the Smithsonian has in the possession of 150 colors that are no longer in existence?

The human head weighs 15 pounds.

Have you seen Jerry McGuire?

16 and a half?

Okay.

Jerry McGuire, that kid?

Isn't Jerry McGuire Show Me the Money?

Yeah, of course.

Oh, I've seen that, I've seen that.

Of course.

But I thought you were calling me autistic, so I assumed right now.

No, the the little kid goes, like, here, man, I had to rain.

It's 15 pounds.

Was that Stuart Little?

It was Stuart Little.

It was your mouse.

It was the mouse.

Yeah.

It was the mouse.

No, it was that kid with the glasses.

Yeah.

I hate that hair punch in the face.

Jonathan Lifnicky.

I hate him.

I got that.

Wow.

What a pull.

What a pull.

Great

pull.

Train spotting not a good movie.

Train spotting's a phenomenal movie.

Is your issue with Danny Boyle or with great acting?

It's just a mess, so it's a book?

Oh no, I can't read.

I don't know how.

The glasses are fake.

No, no, I do with listening.

Okay, so Trade Spotting, you can't, well, you probably could.

But it's written phonetically in the Scottish accent.

So it's amazing.

And there's like a key in the back for all of the Scottish slang.

So it's a lot of work to like.

Have you ever read House of Leaves, where you have to turn the book around as you're reading it?

Is it?

Yeah.

There's like some pages that are written around the corner.

Yeah.

Who wrote that?

I can't remember.

I've never read that.

Not Harper Lee.

You kind of are Harper Lee.

You should change your bio.

The Harper Lee of.

Are you kidding?

I am going to rest on that laurel for the rest of my life.

I kind of think like maybe it's kind of dope.

I love that.

I love To Kill a Mockingbird.

Yeah, I love it too.

I mean, I've kind of modeled myself after Boo Radley in my career.

Boo, after Boo, okay.

I think like,

so you think that like what you studied like data collection and science kind of stuff?

Yeah.

And then

that's what I would want to do.

And do you would you have considered that like a better alternative at cir certain points or I think that's very

that's that's that's up to that's up for debate.

Yeah.

I think so.

You're rich.

I am

successful.

No.

You live in Miami?

Yeah.

Big ass house?

You got on the water?

No, no.

Star Island?

No.

I live in like essentially a condo, but with a backyard.

Do you like, like, what's your crew in Miami?

You like living there?

My crew is two people.

Two people?

Yeah.

I don't love living there.

Who's your crew?

My two girlfriends.

Her?

Boston.

Can't get her to move to Miami.

Why don't you live to Miami with your best friend?

I have children.

She has children.

They can live too.

How old are you?

Yes, Sam.

They're under three?

Yeah.

Mama Sita.

She's a mommy.

If they moved to Miami,

they'd love it.

They are really, they'd suffer.

They're blonde.

Whatever.

They'd be fine.

They'd just do Molly when they're 11.

They get away from the middle.

Oh my god, that's literally how kids in Miami grow up.

I know.

It's crazy.

I went to college with some of those kids, and they really, like, they were like...

Where'd you go to school?

GW.

Oh, right.

You've since become a fashion person, right?

Thanks.

Do you like that world?

Yes.

Yeah, I do.

You're a designer?

Yeah.

What's your line called?

Chaitany.

Chaitan?

Is that French?

No, it's

Spanish.

No, it's Arabic.

Arabic.

Yeah, it means devil.

Have you been back to Lebanon in the last couple of years?

No.

Are you allowed to?

I'm not allowed to, but

I don't think it would be the smartest decision to go somewhere where I get a lot of threats from.

It's difficult there.

Yeah.

Are you in contact with anyone that's like, or like, do you feel like an obligation to advocate for individuals that are uh in the industry?

I advocate for the rights of sex workers and for the protection of sex workers and I advocate for changing the the age of of consent

for doing porn specifically.

I'm not talking about the age of consent in general, but at the very least

for the adult industry to 21.

Yeah.

But

I also

know that actual sex workers and women who are still in the traditional porn industry do not like it when I speak on the industry

at all.

Because they think that my opinion is completely irrelevant and doesn't,

yeah.

That's interesting.

Yeah, I guess because you were only there for a short time, so they feel like you have nothing to do with it.

Yeah, and there's this weird, like,

there's this weird thing of they see me as biting the hand that fed me because they take so much pride in what they do and they're so proud of it and I kind of demonize the industry because that's what it is.

Like the

traditional production porn industry is predatory and toxic and terrible, absolutely terrible top to bottom.

So yeah,

they don't like it when I talk about it that way, but that's the truth.

Right.

Yeah, I guess that's a difficult position to be placed in.

Because you obviously want to, certainly.

Want to what?

To be like

an advocate, right?

You do it.

not necessarily.

Well, you do it like when it comes to you know, it's the Middle East, you do it when it comes to women's rights.

Yeah, like, yeah, you know, but I will never advocate for the traditional porn industry.

I think it should be dismantled and disbanded completely, and I think that everybody should be,

I don't think it should be legal to sign a contract in perpetuity when it involves a woman's body.

Yeah,

yeah, I guess who's gonna do it if we take it away from the Israelis?

Cut that.

Seriously, guys.

That's the lead.

Should I get a rhinoplasty?

No.

What was the recovery process like?

Oh my god, a day, not even.

I didn't take any pain meds after.

Maybe just a little bit smaller?

A day?

A day, not even.

And it was

like a little bit, just a little bit smaller, maybe?

Don't get a rhinoplasty.

What about like a...

Strong doses on men are so nice.

What about like

a little bit of like a Michael Jackson style?

Oh my god.

A tiny.

I wonder if it comes with a snape.

What if I got a snape?

Snape?

Or no, I mean a

caldimort.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Just a slit, just two slits.

Come on.

You think girls like that?

Yeah.

What?

Reflex is sexy.

No, I like my nose.

I've recently started liking it.

Were you baptized?

You got a bot mitz.

What's the bat mitzvah confirmation?

I had a first communion.

I had a confirmation.

Yeah, everything.

Everything.

In Lebanon, do they do Arabic mass?

Yeah, yeah.

Lebanon is predominantly Christian, actually.

Predominantly Christian.

Yeah.

51%?

Like barely 51%.

This sounds like a little bit of exaggeration.

51%.

Yeah,

maybe they're fluffing those numbers, but yeah, there's a huge, huge Christian community.

Yeah, I guess like just moving forward, what are your big projects that you're looking forward to and that you want to work on and like goals you have like in your career?

A documentary.

A book?

Documentary about what would the focus be?

Harper Lee.

Harper Lee?

Kind of a little bit true, no?

I'm telling you,

I'm running with this in my head.

Maybe Bo Jackson?

Bo Jackson?

But he played professionally.

Exactly.

It doesn't count.

I was thinking John Cazelle, that guy, but he wasn't like the Mia Khalifa of those movies.

Oh, damn.

He was in five movies that all got nominated Best Picture, and he died.

Died Doesn't Count.

Died Doesn't Count, no.

You know, he was Meryl Streep's partner.

Oh.

You know that Fredo from The Godfather?

Oh, shit.

He was Meryl Streep's partner?

Dog Day Afternoon, Godfather 1-2, Deer Hunter, and The Conversation.

Dear Hunter.

All nominated best picture.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, but he wasn't the Mia Khalifa of those losers.

That's quite a run.

There's only one other one.

But the legacy hasn't lasted.

Bjorn Borg, the Swedish tennis player.

Oh, my God.

Retired at 26.

He has the underwear line.

Who?

Bjorn Borg.

Look that up.

Let's see.

Doesn't he?

So both of you guys retired and started underwear stuff?

Yeah, exactly.

Bjorn Borg did?

Right?

Look at the Swedish underwear brand.

Because my ex-husband was Swedish and he always wore things on the waistband that said Bjorn.

What was it like being married to a Swede?

Lots of

IKEA too.

Do they laugh?

They don't do that.

No, they don't.

That's offensive.

That's incredibly offensive to say.

Is it?

Yeah, yeah.

What, they're going to IKEA and eating horse meat and stuff?

He retired at.

Where's the underpants?

You're making this up.

Very handsome guy.

Let's bejorn's Swedish underpants then, because

I'm just misremembering who owns the brand.

Bjorn is a common name.

Personal life.

Oh, his business ventures failed.

Oh, oh my god.

Poor guy.

And now he's trying to go back to tennis at the age of 68.

Sad when you're for what?

No, I'm just kidding.

I was just joking.

So, so you've been married twice.

Like, is it, have you found that that's been a difficult thing for you, like, to like trust people, like re-establish trust, like after processing your experiences prior?

No, I think I have really good discernment.

Yeah.

And if I don't trust someone from like instantly, I'm never going to.

Yeah.

That's not something that you can build.

Yeah.

It's something that you either like, you know?

Yeah.

So, no,

yeah.

Those relationships ended for very different reasons.

Mostly just growing, growing and not growing at the same time.

Yeah.

Babies.

Yeah.

Baby boys?

Yeah.

They were baby boys.

Yeah.

Every boy is a baby boy to me.

I can't trust these men, right?

Yeah.

Do you think that men are becoming like the girls?

Yeah, they are.

Because all my friends are like,

all my friends are like, I just want to open up and share my feelings, but I feel like she's withholding.

I'm like, isn't this what the girl, the guy, isn't it, we're supposed to be doing that?

You're supposed to be fighting in wars and building houses.

We're supposed to come back from the black lung place and be like...

The coals?

The coal mines?

And she's going to be like, I want to talk about my day.

And we're supposed to be like,

I can't do that.

But now it's the girls who are doing that to us.

What happened to us?

Is it because we...

The coal mines shut down.

I think it's...

We need to go back to fossil fuels.

We stopped violence.

I think we stopped violence.

We need to start beating the men.

No, the

ladies, we got to start beating the men.

I think our grandfathers were about to be like, when I was eight, I had a traumatic thing, but then they did violence instead.

Yeah, and that's how you insert all of that.

Yeah.

We stopped the violence, and now we're like, just now we're like, just I want her to understand the real meaning.

Okay, so after this, I'll punch you in the face.

No, it's the opposite.

You need to punch me in the face?

You can punch me in the face right now.

I have no job.

I'm not going to punch you in the face.

I don't want to hit anyone, let alone a girl.

We have to rebalance the scale.

Let alone a cultural icon, be a Khalifa, and a noted anti-Semite that I.

Oh my god!

I don't want to be hit.

We could do it through blocking.

It's a little bit like...

You don't know how to fling yourself and pretend like you got hit?

People do this

when they make, it's too much, like it's...

It's nice vanilla, no?

What?

Just

regular, like I love you and stuff, that kind of stuff.

Without a slap?

Does it really mean anything?

No, I don't want to be hitting and stuff and doing hitting and she's like, hit me, and I'm like, I don't know.

I will if you want, but like,

it doesn't feel nice to do.

Why?

Because I like like, just like ball gown, tuxedo.

Yes.

Through the sheets, through the bed sheets.

Like a romantic dance and then

spin.

And then, yeah, and then like a huge, you know, with a canopy bed.

And then just like, you know, exploring.

And then soaking.

I love you.

What's soaking?

Soaking is what the Mormons do.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I heard about that.

What does they do?

They just go to bed inside of a girl?

And then there's somebody under the bed and they're pushing the mattress up.

So technically, they're not having sex.

They accidentally are going...

Do you think culturally we should just people should not stop being Mormon?

No, people should just like, we should know, like, killing people.

People should have secrets again.

I don't need to know everything when someone talks, you know, like I don't, like, the way you fuck is like a big part of identity now.

And it's just sometimes I'm like, I don't care.

Like, it's like, I want to get my sandwich and get out of here.

Is that what you call cookie?

A sandwich?

No, I'm at, like, if I'm at a bagel place and they're like, I'm a Dom daddy top, I'm like a little bit like, can we just go back to secrets?

How can we make things nice again,

Sarah?

Hmm.

We can make things nice.

We got on the right track yesterday.

No, I mean, this is kind of a nice thing.

This is nice, yeah.

No, but like a kind of a

to see, you know, to see us get away from the world.

Yeah, we're bridging, we're bridging the world.

Christian and Jewish.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's nice.

Palestinian chicken.

Do you think people are seeing this as an inspiration right now?

Yeah, of course.

Really?

This is the two-state solution.

No, come on.

I don't want two states.

I don't either.

There's only one.

I don't want a state at all.

Do you think that just open all the borders?

We're citizens of the world.

Yeah, I guess, like, I guess let's just

leave it at this.

Okay.

No, I mean, I think that, like,

let me see.

I had one more that I wanted to

say.

you think that um

are you the Harper Lee of porn?

Are you the social short career big impact Harper Lee?

Really all these notes are about Harper Lee.

I du I think

um

sorry, I'm sorry, I normally I'm way more professional than this.

Um

Um

I guess like uh

I brought up when Harry met Sally

So you got your name from Wiz Khalifa?

No, it was my first dog's name.

And the last name from Wiz Khalifa?

Yeah, more or less.

Yeah.

Is he your favorite rapper?

No, but I love weed.

All right, mi-eco.

Thank you.