Ep. 317 – Our first guest

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Damn.

It's been a long December.

Yeah, there's reason to believe that the president.

Maybe this year we'll find the cure to HIV.

Maybe Maybe we'll find.

Was HIV cured?

It's done, right?

It's done.

Or you can do enough

pills to...

You know what I think is really tough?

Have it and live a normal life.

Is that like HIV was attacked?

Because the medicine didn't change.

And I've looked into this.

Medicine didn't really change.

It's like gay people were getting HIV AIDS.

And then for years, they were like, we're dying.

We're dying.

And then straight people started again.

They're like, actually, it's not a big deal.

Yeah, yeah, because they're too gay.

Yeah.

They're being gay.

They were being dramatic about it, I feel.

Like, no, literally, as soon as straight people started getting AIDS, it was like, oh, this isn't really.

You don't think that it's because

they got better medicine because straight people were getting it.

What, the straight hospitals?

Yeah.

Yeah,

exactly.

Yeah, they were being fags about it.

That's what you're saying.

They were being dramatic.

I wouldn't say they're being.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, they were writing plays about it.

Yeah, multiple plays.

They're like, look how much weight I'm losing from my disease.

And then they probably died from trying to be so tragic.

Yeah, they died from just

having body dysmorphia.

Yeah, yeah.

They were using the AIDS as an excuse.

I'm so fat.

And the bruises, whatever, the sores,

that's just.

That's from boyfriend.

Yeah, it's

dancing in the gay nightclubs.

Everyone's got a hard on.

So you're just

being jabbed left and right.

That's a lot of hands and holes and rods.

We've all seen cruising.

We've all seen Fire Island.

Did you watch it?

Yeah, I watched it, dude.

Yeah, it was good.

I thought it was kind of fire.

Yeah.

No.

I mean, I don't know.

It was on.

My girlfriend and her friend were watching it, and

I was responding to emails about the t-shirts.

This was like two weeks ago when when the shirts came out.

But, you know, I mean, I wasn't watching it for

intently.

It wasn't like, yeah.

It wasn't like the, what do you call it?

I think it's time for us to take Fire Island back.

Dude, we got to storm the beaches.

Just D-Day.

Just straight guy D-Day.

Just on the boat.

Just getting shot.

Just on the boat.

This is the first scene in Saving Private Ryan.

And they're like, 30 seconds.

Like, shit.

And everybody's like, sick.

And then the fucking the top of the PT boat or whatever drops down.

And there's just, like, guys just gyrating on the beach.

And then people are, like, throwing up and drowning.

No!

No, it's terrible.

You're telling your grandson about it on your deathbed.

We were just boys.

Yeah.

They took us from the stickball fields of Iowa.

They put us on those damn boats.

Yeah.

And it was hell on earth.

Yeah.

I was deep in the shit.

Just occasion, like,

the doctor is like, he saw Bo Yang's butt cheeks.

I don't know if he's going to make it.

Tom Hanks is like, he did the best that he could.

It's good.

Fire Island, directed by Steven Spielberg.

I remember it like it was yesterday.

Deep in the shit, which is what we called it because my penis was covered in it.

Because I was having sex with those guys.

You went to fire out.

I was just boys.

Yeah,

I went with Amber Frost.

I wasn't going to bring up.

And Paul Coupeau.

I wasn't going to bring that up.

No, those are the people I went with.

It was a dramatic weekend, though, wasn't it?

It was pretty funny.

It was pretty funny.

Well, yeah, there was that.

But then it was just being

on a beach.

They all looked like John Cena, those guys.

Who?

The guys on the beach.

You know, I have a theory that I have: is that John Cena, you've seen Prometheus, right?

Yes.

So, you know, the engineer alien at the beginning who creates humanity.

So John Cena is the engineer alien of people with Down syndrome.

I can see it.

That he drank a little poison, and then it went into,

I guess, probably

like whatever, the Swedish fish factory.

Yeah.

And then

he grew genes.

Yeah, I always said, what if there was like a Galileo moment?

You know, where they're always like, there's all, like, they think we know, like, oh, it's everything's caused by genetics.

Right.

And then it literally, somebody comes along, proves it without a doubt.

They look, like, even the scientists get angry.

They're like, this is insane.

And then they look at the papers and they're like, well, no, I guess it's undeniable.

This is correct.

That it is, it literally, Down syndrome is caused just by a candy exposure in the womb.

That the mom had too many sweets.

She had too many like Skittles or something.

Yeah.

Yeah, you go on trial because you're trying to get the word out.

Right.

Yeah, it's Will Smith in concussion.

It is the candy that is doing it to them.

The candy has made them like this.

It's fucked up what's happening to the candy.

They have brain damage from too much candy.

Oh, that's good.

That's some good shit right there.

Yeah.

I never saw that movie, but I kind of want to see it for the African accent.

I told you,

I saw the tennis one where he's teaching the girls his daughter, the Venus and Serena Williams one.

And he's just straight up literally playing a mentally retarded man.

It's very funny.

King Richard.

And he won an Oscar for that, too.

Yeah.

It's a great movie, honestly.

He's doing also like this down home with like southern like deep south accent.

And then I pulled up a video of the actual Richard Williams speaking and he doesn't sound like that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's doing like a field hand.

I think Will Smith kind of went insane.

That was bound to happen.

Oh, yeah, he lost it.

Because he was a guy, he's on top of the world, and you can't have that kind of

do that to a human being.

Yeah.

You know, you can't make him the biggest guy in the fucking world for like 10 years.

And then what?

Then what's next?

He just has to wait to die and then what go to heaven how is that gonna be any better it's not gonna be better than being Will Smith Independence Day yeah right or it's not gonna be better than iBan in black or yeah or iRobot or the getting jiggy with it Jawana man

he

really was going for the Oscar and Jawana man yeah Kazam

Kazam

Kazam was so funny they're like what if Shaq was an actor and then it's like never mind

they gave him a couple they They gave him that in Steel.

Oh, I forgot about Steel.

Steel.

Was it Steel or Real Steel?

No, Real Steel.

Real Steel is the Rock'em Sock'em Robots movie.

That was the Rock'em Sock'em Robots reboot.

Yeah.

No, no, they gave him Steel, where he was

a superhero, I believe.

They should have given him Steel.

And he could have played Seal and

Getting Kissed by the Rose.

I feel it's like a kiss from a rose.

And Shaq did all of the singing in the movie.

And that's the most impressive part about it: Shaq did all of the singing himself.

Yeah, he's so stupid, Shaq.

Is he stupid?

I think he's just got a dumb voice.

No, he's dumb too.

Is he?

He's dumb, too.

But he's great.

Yeah, I remember when they made him, he was like the spokesperson for like Cadillac or something.

And they had that commercial where it's like, there's enough room for me in here.

And it's like, yeah, most people aren't you.

That's not like a selling point for normal people.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Be like, check out fucking Raffler in clothes.

We put them on an elephant.

Yeah, exactly.

These are pants for

4X pants.

Yeah, so take that Cadillac.

Yeah, take that Cadillac.

I remember when our friend Stop said that Shaq actually uses the products

that he's a spokesman for.

That's funny.

Cadillac, and what else is there?

Cadillac, the general auto insurance.

He does.

He's like...

He's the spokesman for everything, basically.

What is it?

We can look up his roster.

Shaq.

Nah, that's alright.

It's fine.

Who gives a shit?

It's summer and...

It's looking like winter right now.

Is it cold today?

It's a little chilly.

I was in Portland all weekend.

Oh, he does icy hot too.

How is Portland?

Those people are.

Dog shit city.

The shows were fun.

Yeah.

Yeah, I had a good time at the shows, but the

man, that place sucks.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah.

Because it's like it was already Portland, and then the rest of the country became Portland last summer.

Right.

So they're like, well, we got to step it up.

And it's wild to me because they have like homeless people there.

And this homeless woman, I was wearing, I don't know, maybe she knew who I was.

Or maybe just.

She was a fan.

No, most homeless people are fans of the show.

Just because I had like a red, I had a Fud Ruckers hat on, but it was backwards.

And sometimes I worry about it.

There was a period there where you just couldn't wear a red hat.

Right.

You know?

Right.

It was like, they took that from you.

It was like being

an Indian during, you know, their swastika got taken away from them.

Yeah.

They must have been pissed away.

If you're a guy, just wait, if you're me, you're Mario,

you know, you got a little red cap guy.

Right.

Your whole culture was taken away from you by the MAGA hat or whatever.

But yeah, no, I was.

I was saying there, this homeless lady comes up to me.

She's like, good afternoon.

You know, and like using like bank voice.

Wait, that's what you were going to say with the homeless people there?

Because the homeless people I've seen there are

like Charles Manson types.

Well, this lady, I mean, she had Pacific Northwest.

She had like a whited-out eye, and then there was like, she had some male

her partner.

She was business casualty.

And she was like, good afternoon.

I'm ignoring her.

You know, I'm like, hey, how's it going?

And she's like, can we help you with anything else?

I'm like, I'm good.

She's like, well, we would like it if you left this city.

And it's like, how.

She said that to you?

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, because she thought you were a MAGA.

Who knows?

But like, how are you fucking homeless and you have like time for politics?

You're just like outside, just shitting yourself to death.

And you're like, well, we got to talk about redistricting.

It's like, what the fuck are you doing?

What?

Get a home.

Yeah, get a home, get a house.

Get a home.

Get a home, bitch.

You're going to have no home and you're going to have fucking opinions all of a sudden.

Get out of here.

No, that shit was wild, dude.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Jesus Christ.

No, I've seen like in the Pacific Northwest, they have an insane, like, it just, I don't know what it is.

Maybe it's methyl.

Well, Well, it's the weather, so they don't have winter there, so they don't die off, but it's also the weather isn't nice.

It's not like fucking LA where it's like you're homeless, but you can literally just live on like one of the nicest beaches.

Yeah, you're on Venice Beach.

Yeah.

So in the Pacific Northwest, it's it's never cold enough to die, but never comfortable either.

Right.

You're just getting like a misted on all fucking day.

It's like bringing out the piss smell and you're fucking.

Also, you start doing the homeless thing by being a hippie where you're like, I don't need a house, man.

I can have a fucking tent, man.

Yeah, that's all I need, man.

They do it performatively.

Yeah, and then they just become proper homeless.

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, it's

too, it's weird.

You know, I was like trying to say this to somebody else while I was there, but they were probably ignoring me like most people do in real life.

I know they do.

Unlike this, where you're forced to hear my opinion.

Yeah, this is the only time I listen to you, honestly.

And I don't even do it most of the time.

People are forced to hear my opinions here.

Yeah, like the, it's like, it's weird to think that like homeless people on the East Coast have like etiquette, but they do kind of.

They kind of do.

They have like dignity.

Yeah.

You know, even like they like I think I imagine like a guy in an Aver X jacket masturbating on the train.

But he's at least he's you got to jack off.

Yeah.

He's doing it too.

He's doing it on the train, which is where we know that they beat off.

That's a designated zone.

He smells exactly like I expect him to smell.

He's wearing the clothes I expect him to wear.

And then in Portland, it was like a guy going around with a bike lock at 9 a.m.

just smashing car car windows.

Yeah, exactly.

And it's like, this guy's like 26.

He's not acting right.

Yeah, his dad's like a state senator.

He's got an iPhone.

Right, yeah.

He's just got a bad attitude.

Yeah, he's just a bad boy.

Yeah.

You can't keep.

Act right, Seth.

Right.

Seth, get a job.

Right.

No, no.

Yeah, there's like, they're more pissed off there for sure.

I was at, I was in a,

I was with on a class trip to Seattle.

What class was that?

It was like my Fraser class.

With a school.

What school?

With my middle school, I think.

We went to Seattle for some reason.

Anyway,

Seattle doesn't have any history.

I forgot what it was.

No, it was like there was a science aspect to it.

That's the other thing, Taz.

Puget Sound.

Those towns have no history.

There's nothing there.

There's logging.

So what?

There's, I don't know, what do they do in Seattle?

They did the chop.

That's a great history.

Logging's what?

They killed two black kids the second

cops left.

Chop or Chaz?

Was that Portland or Seattle?

I confused the two because they're both the same.

It's funny that they both.

Oh, maybe it's Chaz.

Yeah.

They named it after Chastity Bono, you know, that, the child of

Sonny Bono and Sheriff.

Anyway, but

they really should just...

They should genocide all the white people in the Pacific Northwest and just give that entire area to illegal immigrants.

Yeah.

And it's nice there.

And that's weird, too, because it is all white people when I was in Portland, but there is there was like one or two Mexican people, and it's like, how did you end up here?

Yeah, like, how did you get here?

They got Trabajo there, I guess.

There's Trabajo to do, but I mean, there's work everywhere.

Yeah, there's work everywhere.

I mean, that's like, how did you get Somali people in Minneapolis?

Yeah.

I want to go to Portland.

I try.

I want to be a LGBTQ plus.

I'm a big fan of Fred Armistein.

Yeah.

Is that show still on?

Probably.

I don't fucking know.

Anyway, we were in Seattle at Pike's Place Market, and that's where they throw the fish.

That's like the tourist area.

And there were two fucking

meth guys.

They're fucking fighting.

And one guy just gets fucking punched to the ground and just steel-toe boot to the temple.

Blood spray.

And we were like waiting to get back on the bus.

The girls are crying.

Like, we saw someone get murdered on the street.

And, like, it was fucking, I, like, literally can close my eyes and remember how scary that shit was.

Yeah.

That was, like, I've, I've had nightmares about it.

It's, like, one of the scariest things I've ever seen in my entire life.

Someone getting murdered on the street.

Like, the kids crying and screaming.

Where's Frasier when you need him?

Yeah.

In Seattle.

Listen, we got to talk this out.

He's their Batman.

We have to talk this out.

I can't do fucking any impressions, man.

Yeah, I know.

You got a Kelsey Grammar?

No.

No.

No, I don't.

I'm weaning off of impress.

I'm weaning off the show.

I'm weaning off.

We're weaning off.

Yeah.

Everything.

Look, it's closing time, folks.

One last call for alcohol.

You got six months left of this.

No more impressions.

Dude, we're getting city recap where I say something that makes people roll their eyes.

I wonder if that's a unique take.

Yeah, Portland.

You got a lot of homeless people in Portland.

Portland, they got coffee shops.

They love coffee.

They don't, really, though.

They don't.

They didn't have a lot of coffee shops.

They didn't have coffee shops.

No, I mean, I guess they did, sort of.

I was staying downtown.

Downtown.

Oh, yeah.

That's where I stayed.

I almost moved there.

To Portland?

Yeah.

For what?

Law school.

What law school?

I got like a full ride to Lewis and Clark, which was the number one environmental law school.

Did Lewis and Clark

go to Portland?

Is that where their tour ended?

I think that, yeah.

They were done fucking that bitch together.

I never understood, like, so the explorers, they like half of them die getting to the Pacific or whatever

and then what happens when they're out there?

They just go back.

How the fuck do they get back?

Well, I don't know.

The only thing I paid attention to was that they were running a train on that chick.

The Sacagawea.

Sacagawea.

Yeah.

They gave her a coin for being the throat goat.

I mean, that's literally Western United States.

The only way to be like a Native American that made it into history was by being just a dog whore.

Just like an absolute slut.

Like all of them.

The Pocahontas was giving up plenty.

You had to be the one.

You had to fuck white guys.

Yeah, no, exactly.

They had to get sex, they had the history.

And then the rest of them done nothing.

You were like a Native American bitch.

She was like a good mom.

Yeah, exactly.

No, you just got your head cut off.

Just a regular squaw.

Yeah.

No, yeah.

Now, Pocahontas is a cartoon for kids.

And it's like this was a whore.

This was a whore.

She has like little birds landing on her finger and stuff.

This is a traitorous whore.

Yeah,

she was a race traitor.

Yeah,

she wasn't.

She was a squad.

She wasn't giving it up for any of the braves.

Yeah.

She was giving it up for some fucking white dickhead.

John Smith.

Get a new name, dude.

No,

that's so funny.

Yeah, she knew directions and she fucked all the guys on the trip.

Yeah,

she could paint with all the colors.

This bitch.

This bitch.

She's about to suck all the the colors in the book.

Oh, man.

Yeah,

that's really fun.

No, I guess Lewis and Clark made it out there.

The college was really nice, but then I went with my dad, and then I was like, there's no reason for anyone to live here.

There's just no industry there.

There's Nike.

There's nothing.

It's fucking depressing.

There's Columbia Sportswear.

Yeah, there's Nike.

There's that.

There's Adidas.

There's one

advertising firm that's like,

that's, they're very proud of their like Wyden and Kennedy or something.

No, we should nuke the PNW.

I honestly, there's no, I hate, I hate it.

I mean, I guess the people that come to the shows, they're they're cool.

They're nice, yeah.

Thanks for coming out.

I appreciate it.

They weren't having a good time.

Yeah.

The crowds were good.

Yeah, everyone was very friendly.

Very nice.

Everybody's always friendly.

The people that come to the shows are very friendly.

Yeah.

They're always really friendly.

The people that came to funny ones, I'm going to do it.

The people that DM'd, not so much.

The DMs.

Those get a little laugh.

When did somebody just suggest to you?

Somebody DM me.

Someone DM'd me and is like, yo, and shout out to this guy.

This is one of the best DMs I ever got.

But he's like, yo, if you're into Bob Dylan, you should get into this guy named Towns Van Zam.

Easily, they're my top two, but Towns got to put him number one.

Yeah, I agree, dude.

I agree with you.

Those are top two.

Yo, have you ever heard of the Beatles?

Yo.

That's like very, When you go over to Europe, you haven't been to Europe, but when you go over there,

all of them are like that.

All of them are like

have you heard of the Beatles?

Yeah, I mean, Europe had culture for like 20 years during the Renaissance, and they've been cruising off that since.

Europeans are fucking whack.

Dude, they are so keen.

You know what I mean?

And they like, yeah, they give you the worst fucking suggestions.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, have you heard of

the show friends?

It's a very funny show.

Well, I hate to.

Yeah, I hate to cut it there.

But

what is it?

Oh, The Ridge Wallet, folks.

Come Town, aka The Adam Friedland Show.

Aka The Adam Friedland Show.

Starting this week now, The Adam Friedland Show is brought to you by Ridge Wallet.

Ridge Wallet, an excellent company that has grown exponentially since they started advertising on Cometown.

Coincidence, I think not.

Yeah, I mean, they're huge.

They don't even need these ads anymore.

Yeah.

It's crazy.

I don't know why they're still advertising.

I don't know.

At the beginning of the year, he's like, yeah, he throws us a bunch of money.

He's like, do the ads or whatever.

Do them whatever?

I mean, he just

literally doesn't care.

I mean, yeah, they make so much money now off these wallets.

Anytime I pull it out now, too, there's always...

You know, it's women that want to talk about it.

Women want to talk about it.

Yeah.

Because they want to get in your pocket, dude.

Well, they're like, they always got a brother or fucking, you know, a husband or something.

They're like, I got got that for my husband because, and then they're like trying to sell me on it.

Yeah, no, we sold you, bitch.

Yeah.

We sold you first.

Don't try to sell me.

Ridge wallet,

are they made in the USA?

Yes.

Do they have free 45-day returns?

Yes.

Are they backed with a lifetime guarantee?

Yes.

Is it a minimalist masterpiece?

What do you think, Nick?

Sure.

Yeah, sure.

Fine.

Whatever.

They're everything you want out of a wallet.

It's small.

They're inconvenient.

They're expensive.

No, I like this thing.

When I first saw it, I was like, that's the dumbest shit I've ever seen in my life.

But

I had a big wallet.

Yeah.

I got this one, and I said,

it's time for daddy's night on the town.

Yeah.

And I was peeling off 20s, handing them to any Native American woman I saw.

And she was giving pussy up.

I had my own Jamestown colony

that night.

She was sucking, and I was like, I'm going to put your ass in the Encyclopedia Britannica for this.

So, listen, guys, all these models, they're RFID blocking.

I'm constantly getting RFID.

There's strong money clip cash

where you can place cash, and there's a cash, and it's easy.

What is it?

Cash clip,

but it remains easy to slide bills in.

They're 45-day return.

USA made.

These are fucking sick.

They're from

a receipt from 2008 for a California burrito.

You don't need that shit in your fucking wallet.

You don't need a crinkled

fucking.

You don't need garbage.

What is RFID?

I don't fucking know.

It's like someone

scans your ass.

Why the fuck do they have that?

Why is that a thing that can happen?

Is that somebody can just wipe their phone near your pocket and steal your credit card information?

Why did they come up with that?

So that we have to...

Now I have to have an RFID blocking wallet.

So it's radio frequency identification.

That's what it says for.

So people are fucking scanning

your ass wallet.

So you got to get a friend.

You got a daily carrier subreddit?

Where guys are like,

a lot of them have ridge wallets.

Ridge wallet, flashlight, gun.

They're like, what do you do?

They're like, I'm the assistant manager at a GameStop, of course.

Yeah, and that's the thing is, you can get a ridge made out of the same metal or alloy as your gun, which is pretty tight, right?

The gun industry is not going to be a thing.

They're going to outlaw guns, but by that point, everyone's going to have a 3D printer, and you can just make your own guns.

Yeah.

Yeah, but you could also make your own pussy in the 3D printer, too.

You know what sucks is you can't just build your own house somewhere.

You have to buy the land first.

Yeah, they used to have that in the Old West.

You can just claim your shit.

Yeah.

You just put a stake down or something.

Yeah.

Listen, guys, Ridgewall started in 2013 on Kickstarter.

Now they're fucking huge.

And they're currently the pockets of over half a million guys and gals.

But let's be honest.

It's the guys that are doing this.

This is for the fellas, guys.

Yeah, you've got to be a hardcore lesbian to have a Ridgewall.

You got to be a real fucking

beaver hound.

Yeah.

Just have hands in your pockets constantly.

Just wide hips.

Khakis.

Just a fucking bowling pin.

Wide.

Yeah, wide.

No tips.

Yeah, wide hips, khakis.

Yeah.

High ankles.

Yeah,

one-syllable name.

Yeah, bow shoes.

Yeah, bowed shoes, exactly.

Like a tin-tin haircut.

That type.

They're so funny, dude.

I want to chill with more of them, but unfortunately, they meet me, and there's something about my vibe they don't like.

You can get...

Anyway, guys, these are...

Yeah,

these are ways to securely store your credit card and debit cards in your pocket without worrying about scanners and thieves accessing your cards.

And I'm constantly afraid of scanners and thieves because these cities

are a disease.

A couple years ago, I had like Apple Pay give me a notice.

It was like, your cards declined for a $900 purchase at Zara.

And I was like, what the fuck is this?

You were at Zara, dude.

And I called my bank, and they were like, yeah, we don't have any record of it.

And I called Apple.

They're like, oh, yeah, it's probably just somebody trying to steal your card and they used a fraudulent thing to make Apple Pay go to.

And I was like, so why is that?

That seems like that shouldn't be happening.

Yeah, that's fucking.

And they were like, oh, no, that happens all the time.

It's like, well, then it sounds like your fucking bullshit Apple Pay thing isn't ready.

Dude, that's.

I guess this can happen.

I told Apple exactly what I told you.

You told them exactly where to stick it.

Yeah.

Okay.

Here's the deal, folks.

You go to RidgeWall.com, you check out their extensive line of products.

They got walls, they got fucking, what are their backpacks, they got all that shit.

The backpack is good.

The commuter bag is good.

I take it on planes all the time.

The backpack is the number one.

I'll tell you what.

Let's say

it's

8.12 a.m.

Yeah.

You can see the North Tower out the window.

You know what's about to happen.

You know your life's about to happen.

You check the calendar.

You said, oh, shit, today's September the 11th.

Yeah, it's September 11th, 2008.

How could I have forgotten?

And you look down, you got your Ridge backpack, and you smile at the camera and you you say, At least I have my waterproof Ridge Wallet commute.

Yeah.

And then that's the end.

That's the end of the commercial.

And then it's a black screen.

Yeah.

And it says, what if?

And then it fades out again.

It says Ridge Wallet.

Ridge Wallet.

And then it says,

it says September the only one.

It says Ridge Wallet.

Just do it.

And that's their commercial.

It doesn't say never forget.

It just says that September 11th.

9-11.

September 11th.

Just do it.

Just do it.

Re 9-11 spec.

And then we see Derek Jeter.

The captain.

Yeah.

Tipping the hat.

He's got a bad on his shoulder.

Yeah.

And he said, he's saying,

hey.

What's up, guys?

Yeah.

He doesn't even know he's in the commercial.

He doesn't know he's in the commercial.

Hey, how's it going?

Hey, guys.

And then the commercial ends again.

And it says, that's what if.

Ridgewallet.

Just do it.

Yeah.

So, guys, go to ridgewallet.com.

You put in promo code.

Sorry, come town or come town20.

And you're going to get a good deal.

You're going to get a good break on these products from these guys.

I tell you, a rainy day like this, all I want to do is sit in my apartment and re-watch Breaker Morant.

You love that movie.

That's a great movie, dude.

I actually haven't seen it.

As a South African, I have not seen that.

I cut out coffee.

I've had no caffeine for like eight days.

No shit.

I'm trying to make the cocaine feel more powerful.

So I figure I cut the coffee out.

Yeah.

The first up you get.

Is your 10 a.m.

bump.

Is my 10 a.m.

bump.

To play.

To play

a fucking banjo kazooie.

Imagine using Coke as, like, for energy.

That That would be the most inefficient and expensive way.

That's what guys did in the 20s.

Well, they did

in the 80s on Wall Street, too.

I don't think people...

80s has the reputation of being the Coke decade, but I think it's like...

No,

it was guys in the fucking 20s that went hard.

They were injecting the shit all day long.

Yeah, dude, that's how Freud came up with all his shit.

Yeah.

That's how Freud was with his boys and he was like, yo, fellas, yo, yo, yo, fellas.

Yo, yo, yo.

Yeah, he would smoke like 19 cigars a day just inject cocaine yeah he was like yeah yeah yeah you know what I was thinking you know what I was thinking I was thinking um you know how you know how like we all want to fuck our moms you know how only like uh we all want to bust inside our moms and his boys were like I don't know I don't know I don't know about that dude I don't know about that boy yeah I don't know I don't know if I and it's like yes yeah we all do it's a guy thing yeah guy talk guy talk guy talk real talk boys you know how we all want to fuck our moms you know how you know how I want to fuck my mom yeah it was more of like a...

Why do people accept that as like the basis for Western thought?

What?

Cocaine?

That you want to fuck your mom.

Well, I was like, why are people like that?

No one did psychology before Freud.

Yeah, but that's the first idea, but we s we just had to stop there.

I mean, I'm sure people have wrote other psychologies, but like that that that's the basis for all of it.

I don't know.

It seems a little gross to me, but yeah, well, it makes sense.

You come out of her pussy.

You're always moving towards death.

Yeah.

And so you need to square that circle.

Yeah, I know.

I know.

I would fuck my mom.

If I could see her again.

Yeah.

That's a Luther Van Draus song.

Fucking with My Mom.

To fuck my mama again.

If I could just fuck my mama again.

He's at her grave song.

To fuck with my mama.

Fuck with my mom.

He's laying a flower down at the grave.

Fucking with my mom.

Yeah, it is a weird song.

Yeah.

Yeah, so I'm on

chamomile tea.

You're on chamomile tea, dude.

Dude, if you fucking Portland change you, man.

Yeah, chamomile.

You're a real bitch.

I put a little hibiscus in there, too.

I like chamomile.

It's really nice.

Doesn't it make you sleepy?

Maybe.

I think it does.

But honestly, it's like the first week, you know, just mad headaches and like sleeping all day long.

Yeah.

And then once that fades, it's like

I have like almost no anxiety anymore.

Because I used to just pound coffee all day long.

Oh, yeah.

It makes you fucking crazy.

It makes your heart feel like it's going to explode.

Yeah.

But also quitting it is fucking really hard, too.

Yeah, well, I mean, now I'm like eight days out, so I'm like, okay.

The first three days, you feel insane.

Yeah.

No, my head hurt a lot.

Yeah.

And then, yeah, it was just like,

I would just be in bed all day long.

Yeah.

But.

It is.

No, it's like, it's a fucking drug.

Yeah, it's weird because it goes from like you don't realize that it is.

It used to be that I had anxiety and now I just have things that bother me.

You know what I mean?

I see what you're saying.

Like this shit that's just fucking annoying, but you can assess it as like, yeah, that's annoying.

Well, there's nothing I can do about it.

True.

You know?

Yeah.

It's like,

yeah, my apartment's fucking trashed.

Nothing I can do about it, dude.

Right.

I can't change that.

There's a Zen of bathroom.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The Zen of

doing nothing to improve your life.

Yeah.

Pissing in cups because you're too lazy to go to the bathroom.

Yeah.

Did you ever read Zen and R, the motorcycle?

I think I did when I was like in 10th grade or something.

Yeah.

I never read it.

Yeah.

My dad gave it to me.

Why?

A man who's never been on a motorcycle in his entire life.

I don't know.

That's not really the whatever.

Yeah, I don't know.

That's like a, you know, dads try to be cool a couple times.

Like, they're like, I'm about to blow your mind.

My dad didn't do that.

He was just like, we're watching good fellas.

We're watching kisses.

That's cool.

Yeah.

That's cool.

No, my dad.

My dad.

No books for me.

He gave me Dune, I remember.

Yeah.

And I was like, this is a great book.

And he's like, isn't it great?

How about Dune with a C?

Yeah.

How about Dune with a P, dude?

Apparently, there's a town called Poon in India.

Really?

Yeah.

I love that.

What a beautiful day in Poon.

Poon's Toyota.

yeah yeah Poon Honda yeah Poon Honda that was the joke from years ago I remember that on this show on this show back when we were young men back when we had the fucking our whole lives ahead of us

now we're having medical issues and hurdling towards death eternal darkness dude you there's this guy funny moms on Monday that I'm really sad you missed why just blackout drunk but like not even disrupting the show just so loving anytime you addressed him He was just like I fucking love this like oh I love you Yeah, and he's he's wearing he's wearing a fucking Miller high life hat an angry orchard hard seltzer t-shirt and a corona light key lanyard just all the beer clothes he's wearing beer clothes

Like a crackhead wearing like a crackhead.

It's crazy because

you go you go anywhere else in the country you expect to see those people.

You're That makes sense.

What is that guy doing

in Bedford-Suyvesant?

Right?

What is he doing in the UK?

He made it all the way to New York.

Yeah, like it doesn't.

Yeah.

It's wild.

I'm glad guys like that are here.

And like doing what?

Like hanging out at like driving, leaving the city to go hang out at Sheets.

I don't know what.

Yeah, I wonder what.

No, he said he just gets drunk, dude.

Yeah.

He's like, yeah, he's like, I fucking do it all the time.

I asked him if he gets pussy.

He says, he's like, like, I don't have, I don't know, I'm too fucking drunk, dude.

He said, he's too drunk for pussy.

He's a man.

That guy has the right idea, honestly.

He's wearing the clothes of the thing he loves.

The bank's calling me right now.

What are they saying?

I don't know.

It's probably bad news.

They're like, hey, we lost all your money.

I know we said we already did that, but we did it again.

It's like the 20s.

Just wanted to check in and make sure that.

It is, dude.

It is funny how just fuck things are now.

What is it?

But

you can get up to $100,000 back or something?

With what?

FDIC?

Isn't that what FDIC is?

That just means your money.

If the bank goes out of business or something, then you can get your money back.

You can get your money back, yeah.

But it's up to a certain number, though.

Oh, really?

Is that how it works?

Oh, great.

Good.

Cool.

I think so.

So,

if you have $2 million, I think you get like $100,000 back.

I don't know.

Maybe it's more than that.

Yeah, it might be time to kill a senator.

Not me.

I don't mean me.

And I'm not suggesting anyone else does it.

But if it were to happen,

I don't understand how anyone could say anything other than, well,

it was about time.

It's these times we live in.

Is anybody like who whose

opinions are like broadly represented by the government?

Is there any person that's like, yeah, I don't want health care.

On top of that, like corporations have tax breaks.

Also, everything just constantly pandering to gay stuff.

I think there are.

So I want a combination of all of the worst aspects of both sides.

I think there are those people.

Who?

Who the fuck is that?

I don't get it.

I think like they talk about like people that are like proud to be a modern.

Yeah, like, you know, because like politics is, you know, I mean, they all got to like grease the wheels and play some sort of game or whatever.

That's why everything drifts towards the center.

But, like, is that the center?

No, it's a bunch of

like corporate woke fascists.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah.

I I don't

I think that we don't know anyone like that, but I think that there are that is there are a lot of people like that.

Who who who?

You know, baby boomer dads,

guys with small business small business guys.

Yeah.

Um fucking

I don't know

upper middle class people

I'd say yeah does that sound right?

I don't think it sounds right at all.

I think it's really yeah just nakedly like a group of people

a group of people making money and then for some reason they people vote for them.

Yeah.

I don't know dude.

Who fucking knows?

I don't know.

It pisses me off dude.

As long as I can't get a little slice of the action,

then I'm mad about it.

Of course.

I want a couple of points on the packet.

I want a couple points.

Yeah.

Dude, I don't know, man.

I fucking.

I think we should.

I don't think anyone will ever

pick up a gun.

Actually, there was that one guy that did it when they were at baseball.

Oh, someone will.

It'll happen.

I mean.

I just think there's so much Netflix.

Yeah, that doesn't.

That won't stop it.

You don't think so?

No.

I think people can have really awful,

like, humiliating lives

and just come home.

We're going to go prediction corner.

Corona's going to get real bad again.

You think?

Yeah, probably.

You think?

Yeah.

I think.

Omicron.

Based on nothing.

Omicron mutation.

I haven't looked at it.

But

it would make sense that it would get bad to the extent that it was.

Mm-hmm.

And then

just nothing would be done about it.

History has been to your will on a number of occasions.

Yeah.

Nothing's going to be done about it.

And I don't think anyone's going to care, care really.

You know what?

I don't really have it.

I don't really have a I'm dumb with prediction.

I'm too old for that shit.

Yeah, I don't really fucking care.

Now I just want to know

if and will I ever be able to buy a fucking house?

And the answer is no.

No.

Never.

No.

No matter what.

You can move to like the shittiest place in America.

Yeah.

And the houses are

like $700,000.

It's insane.

It's fucking insane.

You could be in the worst place and it's $650,000 for a one-story two-bedroom.

And then considering that, you know, like

interest rates have tripled in the last three months, now those houses are effectively, they cost, you know, I don't know, the math, but like twice as much in the long run.

Yeah.

I don't understand it, but there has to be a crash eventually.

For real estate?

I think so.

No, why would there be a crash?

There's no supply.

Demand's high.

As long as demand is high, there's never going to be a crash.

It's everyone sitting on the sideline saying like, well, the interest rates go up.

that'll drive down demand, and then I can seize when the opportunity.

It's like, no, that's what we're all saying.

That's everybody.

The houses pricing will not come down.

Right.

They'll continue because that's all the Fed has.

Which also, it's like,

what is even driving inflation?

It's like half of that is just fucking companies raising prices because they know that there's an opportunity to do so.

Yeah.

So the Fed is going to just continue raising the rate.

I don't know.

Fuck it.

I don't know.

All I know is it's time to pick up a guy.

It's time to kill.

And I'm not going to say it.

It's gun o'clock.

Yeah, it's gun o'clock.

It's fucking gun o'clock.

Yeah.

And

but

that's all we'll say.

That's all we'll say.

That's all we'll say.

And we're not going to encourage anybody to do anything.

But it is gun o'clock.

In fact.

For the record.

No, we can't encourage them to do one thing.

Oh, yeah.

Go to bluechew.com.

Go to bluechew.com.

Folks, do you like sex?

I do.

Do you like

putting it in or getting it put in you?

Yeah.

I like that too.

Both of that.

All of that.

And that's why I like the website, Blue Chew.com.

Yeah.

Hold on.

You're looking it up.

Yeah.

I've been taking a Blue Chew in a while.

Dude, I love this guy from the Blue Chew website.

Yeah, he's got a cool look.

You know what?

He's clearly just a guy who's in a Just for Men ad.

And they were like, let's get this guy.

I've maybe said this before, but every older male model for

boner pills or whatever, you can't tell if he's a Democrat or a Republican, right?

They cast a guy that could be either.

They're like, who could who could appeal to all?

Vaguely ethnic.

Yeah, maybe he's not.

He's Mediterranean.

Yeah, he's got dark eyebrows.

Maybe he's

olive skin, but maybe he's white.

Yeah, if he's like Spanish, then he's probably a Democrat.

Italian?

Italian.

He's like

a Republican finance guy.

No, no.

They don't let them on Wall Street.

Yeah, they do.

What are you talking about?

They let the WAPs on Wall Street.

Of course.

How are you doing?

My name is Michael DiVagino.

I work at Citibank.

And

I'm here to create opportunities for you and your wealth and your retirement.

No, they let them be bank tellers.

Oh, yeah.

I don't fucking know.

Anyway, guys, a guy.

I got a chase once.

It was like, I went in just some like, you know, some like bro, dude.

They worked at Chase.

I was like, yeah, I got the Sapphire Reserve card.

He's like, yeah, that card's clutch.

That card's absolutely clutch for travel.

That card is fucking money, dude.

Yeah, it sure is clutch for travel.

All right, anyway, guys.

Listen, they have multiple plans, right?

Where you can order sildenophil or it's a Dallophil.

Which one do you take, Adam?

I think Sildenophil.

Is that the Sialis?

That's the one I have.

No, I think I have the Viagra.

I don't want to have...

I don't want my addict.

You know what?

When you take the Sialis one, you fuck the night before, and then you wake up, and your boner, like, you wake up rock hard.

Well, I wake up hard every day, but like, harder than a P-boner, and it's, like, kind of a little painful from my experience.

Yeah.

So I like to just

hit it and quit it.

I like to nut it and fuck it.

Anyway, guys they have different strength plans and they diff have different amounts that you can order let's say I want to get the pro plan

which is 34

45 milligram sildenophil chewables

and that is only a hundred and twenty dollars so that means you can get 34 pills

for your dick

Hold on, let me see.

Let's see.

Let's

Yes.

You could get the highest strength

sildenophil, 34 of them, which means you can use them every single day.

And one of the days you could use them four times in a day.

And you get them at 45 milligram strength, which means that your dick is going to be literally, it's going to be vibrating.

It's going to be angry.

You're going to have an angry ass boner.

Folks, what else?

40% of Americans agree that it's hard hard to take pills.

Did you hear that again?

40%.

For me, it's hard to take pills too.

I have to take most of them as suppositories.

I don't like swallowing pills.

You know that.

So

Blue Chew provides a chewable tablet that is 100%

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Guys, get your fucking dick hard.

Don't let them, don't let them down.

What else do we have to say about this thing?

I don't fucking know.

Anyway, guys, go to Blue Chew.com, promo code ComeTown or Come Town20

Cometown and you get your first fucking month free.

You sign up, you talk to one of their licensed medical providers,

you just pay $5 shipping for your first month, and you get a bonus from these pills.

Or chewable tablets.

All right, thank you.

Now, let's back to the show.

Back to the show.

I got a piss real bad.

We're going to do it.

This is coming out tonight.

Probably.

Yeah, we're doing this.

So what's the Carolines all weekend?

They added a Sunday show before the show sold out, so there's still tickets available for each one of the nights, but come out Thursday, preferably.

I think I'll have Kenny feature, actually, because no.

Kenny D.

Kenny DeForest.

He's the man, dude.

I see.

Nobody else can do it.

Everybody's fucking gone.

Did you hit him up?

Funny Moms did

he did Funny Moms on Monday.

It was great.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, so Kenny will be there, and then you want to do the rest of the weekend?

On Thursday?

No, Friday through Sunday.

Yeah, I can come Friday through Sunday.

Well, there you go.

That's the show.

So I will be there too, guys.

So

if you guys are planning on detonating a vest and taking both of us out, we will be in the same room.

Do it in Washington, folks.

No more mall shootings.

No more schools or malls.

Yeah.

We're taking it to the streets.

Okay?

Yep, as Michael McDonald would say.

Taking it to the streets.

We are taking it to the streets.

The anthem of the Black Lives Matter movement.

The Doobie Brothers, taking it to the streets.

Black entertainer Michael McDonald.

The original hood passer.

Anyway, what else is going on, dude?

I don't fucking know.

I don't pay attention to that.

How about Michael McDonald Trump?

Okay, let's hear that.

Yeah, yeah.

We're taking it to the streets.

That's it, folks.

That's it.

That's it, folks.

They got streets.

We're taking it there.

We're taking it to the streets.

Who's on the streets, folks?

There's a lot of streets we can take.

We got a lot of streets.

A lot of black people on the streets.

Oh man.

Damn.

Yeah, I'm thinking I might get back in the corona stuff.

Really?

Yeah.

Because you were really into it for a while.

I don't know.

Why not?

Oh, also, folks, just so you know, you can go to adamfreeland.com slash shop and we still have a lot of we still have some of the Steve shirts left.

Most of I think almost every Bush shirt, besides a small in one of the colors, is

also if you're a fan of the Adam Friedland show, which you're listening to right now,

patreon.com slash Cometown, soon to be changed to patreon.com/slash the Adam Friedland show.

I don't know about that, man.

It is.

Patreon.com slash Cometown.

Subscribe.

For the next six months, you can get the premium episodes before this show ends.

All right.

Let's see what else.

Let's check the news.

Did we say promo code come town or come town or come town 20 for both Ridge Wallet and Blue Chew?

That is correct.

That is correct.

Yeah.

Anyway, folks, what

I did have.

So you're going to see this damn Elvis movie?

Yeah, I was going to take my dad to see it.

He wants to see it.

He's like,

have you seen anything about this new Elvis movie?

Is he excited?

Yeah.

No, no, no.

You know that kid lights Camera Jackson?

Your parents, your dad gets old and then he turns into like a

lame toddler.

And you have to just be like a parent to them.

Yeah.

You have to take him to a ball game, put a little cap on them.

Not even, dude.

Like the fucking Train Museum or the Boz Lerman Elmis movie.

It's like...

God damn.

Whatever.

It makes him happy.

No, it's nice.

That's kind of, you know,

we were their toddlers once.

Dude, Elvis was hilarious.

It's crazy.

He was a wigger, dude.

He was one of the original wiggers.

He wasn't even a wigger.

He was like, you know, those kids that are into tap dancing or whatever?

No, he was back in Memphis

chilling with the brothers.

No, he was like an autistic kid.

He was like a wear suits to school kind of kid.

That's what Elvis was.

People are like, he's not a wigger at all.

Dude,

I can't wait to see this movie, man.

It's going to be so good.

Yeah, it's going to be terrible.

But, you know, like

what's the funniest part about Elvis is that Nixon recruited him to be like the face of the anti-drug movie.

Yeah, and he was just fucking

so many pills.

Yeah, like a livid pharmacist.

Yeah, yeah.

He did the Don Simpson movie.

Dude.

He died on the toilet.

Dude, he's the fucking best, man.

I love Elvis.

Yeah.

What a, what, um,

I gotta, yeah.

What was I gonna say?

I for fucking forgot dude.

I don't fucking know.

Oh god um looks like uh

looks like Mayor Eric Adams waved a checkered

checkered flag to bulldoze over a hundred illegal dirt bikes today.

You see that?

Uh no I didn't.

Yeah.

So next time you're thinking about driving a fucking dirt bike or an alternate vehicle get ready for the New York Police Department to take that shit away from you.

Honestly, those kids do really zoom around.

It is scary.

Yeah.

I get really worried about motorcycles.

Too dangerous.

No reason to do it, folks.

What are you texting about, bro?

I'm not.

I'm looking at TikTok.

What's on TikTok?

Nothing.

I hate TikTok.

I got to hand that account off also.

I got to clean my fucking apartment.

That's all I got to do.

Really?

Clean my apartment, figure out a way to get rid of the phone entirely,

just do these weekends, phone it in.

This is hi to people, take pictures.

Cruise out the end of the show.

Eric Adams destroyed all these dirt bikes.

Moved to Japan.

Eric Adams destroyed all these dirt bikes, and some guy responded, Wish these had been donated to the Ukraine instead of being wastefully destroyed.

To do what?

To scare off the Russians

against the Warriors.

What if

that's so funny?

It's so funny to make everything about Ukraine.

Well, it's so funny.

I'm going to make guys.

I'm going to make that my personality.

Who's still doing that?

It's like the same people that fucking like, they got into a fever pitch over BLM and then forgot about it are the same folks doing the same thing with Ukraine.

And it's like, they're going to forget about that too.

What do you think the next thing is going to be?

After that, so the BLM, Ukraine.

Because it's wild.

You couldn't have predicted that.

If you went back to June 2020.

No, we wouldn't.

And all the people with the black squares would be like, look, I know you really care about this now, but I promise you in two years, you won't.

And your big thing is going to be the Ukraine.

That we have to give illegal dirt bikes.

We need to send nuclear weapons to Ukraine.

Yeah, we've got to give them nukes and dirt bikes.

They'd be like, there's no way that's true.

And I'm like, all it's going to take is one post from Chelsea Handler.

Dude, it's crazy.

If they were too dangerous for the USA, they are too dangerous for Ukraine.

In fact, we should be banning guns in Ukraine, too.

Oh, I think this is a joke.

Oh, we got trolled.

What happened?

It's not a real thing.

It's not a real thing?

Oh, that guy saying that?

He just said it was fake.

Oh.

Damn, I was looking at pictures of Matthew Perry the other day.

Fat you Perry or skinny?

It's so funny.

There's one season of fucking

I've just if you Google his name, there's like all these tabloids come up.

There's one I couldn't see it, but it's like it's a picture of him looking like dog shit.

Yeah.

Coming out of his house after like, you know, another fucking like Tylenol bender or whatever the fuck his problem is.

And it comes out, but then the inset in the photo is like they've zoomed in on his fingernails and it's like, look how shitty his fingernail is.

It's like, no wonder this guy's just killing himself with drugs.

Can you imagine that?

You fucking like you have nothing to live for anymore.

You're just

pictures of him.

And you just, you're trying to just go buy some milk.

And people are like, look at his shoes.

Because you made the mistake of trying to fucking get a little bit of vitamin D and go get a croissant or whatever he wanted to do.

That's so funny.

Yeah.

You know what that guy needs is some friends.

Yeah.

You know, I'd say maybe three girls, three guys.

I think, you know, living in the...

Where do they live?

Upper West Side?

Yeah.

They're also all like 28 and they all wear suits every day.

Yeah.

That used to be being a man.

Yeah.

Wait, who?

In France.

Oh, France.

Yeah.

They rarely wear suits.

No, they all go to work.

They're wearing suits.

All the guys do.

All the fellas do, except for...

Well, they had office jobs.

Well, not the actor.

Don't people still wear suits at office jobs?

I don't know.

I don't think so.

I've never had an office job in my life.

They don't wear suits on the fucking...

The closest thing was a car dealership.

And I guess that's technically an office, but it was a double-wide trailer.

Car dealerships, what you wear

golf clothes.

No, you wear a shirt and tie.

You had to wear a shirt and tie?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You didn't wear like pants.

Just a shirt and tie.

And the big socks with the, like, the, you know,

the businessman about to cheat on his wife look.

What are those socks that have like a belt on them?

It's a really inefficient way to have socks.

Yeah.

Like the,

was it because the elastic hadn't been?

Yeah, they didn't have.

So they put belts on their knees.

Yeah, people used to dress really fucking stupid.

That's really funny.

Yeah.

Yeah, I hope the whole world ends.

Here at Cockout Toyota,

we have the lowest prices.

I hope the world ends for my sake.

Yeah.

You know, because I'm tired.

That's why I want things to end.

So you can finally take a nap, bro.

I can take a fucking break.

We're going to help.

I'm going to, I'm in the next six months.

My goal, I'm going to help you build the Adam Friedland show.

Yeah, we're going to get it big, dude.

Gonna get the Adam Friedland show, send you off, take the training wheels off, watch you go down the street.

And me, I'm off to find my own Pocahontas in an island somewhere.

Yeah.

Some titty with big, saggy ass, droopy ass island type titties.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Some nipples below the waist type of bitch.

Yeah.

I'm going to paint with all the colors of the wind.

You know what I mean?

I'm going to bust with all the colors

in her ass.

Damn, I have to piss so bad.

I hate having to run out the clock on this show.

Oh, yeah.

Just go to the bathroom.

No, no, dude.

How many minutes do we have left on this?

I don't know.

Who gives a f?

Who gives a fuck?

It's your show, dude.

It's not my show, man.

It's the Adam Friedland show.

That's not what it is.

You know, I'm retired.

I'm not Riff City like I used to be.

You are, dude.

I don't have it in me anymore.

Dude, we had a good riff about how Native American women who were probably raped by white men

wanted cocky.

That's how you get

into history.

That's how you get on the money.

That's how you get on the damn money.

Yeah.

What else was it?

What are these RX bars?

They have them at Costco.

I might go to Costco and pick some of these up.

Yeah, they're pretty good.

These are pretty good.

No bullshit.

Yeah, they don't fucking bullshit with you.

Yeah.

A no bullshit cliff bar.

Yeah, they tell you what's in it, and that's all that's in it.

Yeah.

They're like, you know,

12 nuts, one banana.

I don't know, whatever the fuck it says on there.

Dates, peanuts, egg whites, chocolate, natural flavors, sea salt, cocoa.

It's pretty nice, right?

Yeah.

Not bad.

It kind of looks like a little flat piece of shit.

A little turd.

It does look like poo-poo.

Yeah.

Maybe I should

be able to market poo-poo.

Maybe I should just get into eating shit.

Maybe that's my next health kick because I started

eating shit.

Yep, that's when I started the eating shit period of my life.

I got to do it.

2 a.m.

infomercial.

Eating your own shit isn't possible?

Yes.

For the first time ever.

For $12.95 every two weeks.

You can learn the shit-eating system.

Eating your own shit every day.

I mean, that is really all health stuff is.

Right.

If you turn into a health nut, which I am, I mean, I was always...

bound to be like that.

I know you guys always have me pegged as being like a plastic surgery guy.

That's never going to happen, but I'm definitely going to be like a...

No, I never saw you as a plastic surgeon.

I will definitely be like a vitamin shop fucking like

weighing like 70 pounds, that kind of guy.

Going on power walks and taking just massive amounts of vitamins.

Yeah, yeah.

That's the end of the supplements, guy?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I've never felt better in my life.

Yeah, you know, there's a term for it, and it's like the anorexia for men.

It's orthorexia.

It's where it's like a fear of unhealthy foods.

Yeah.

They get really into vitamins.

Yeah.

But then they'll have to flip.

It's like, one month a year, I completely fall off the fucking wagon.

You start eating shit.

Yeah, not even eating shit.

I'll just fucking go and check into a motel and kill myself with drugs.

We'll put a little, we'll add a little

spice to life, I guess.

They call it.

All right, folks.

I know who I want to take me home.

That's close enough.

Again, you want more of the Adam Friedland show?

No, it's not.

It's what?

Okay, fine.

Patreon.com slash slash come town.

Slash Cometown.

Check me out.

Carolines this weekend.

We'll have a good time.

Adamfilam.com slash shop for shirts.

Shop for shirts.

And I had a falling out with the new print shop.

I gotta figure out.

I might have Nick Rocherford handle this.

Dude, do it with my boy, dude.

Do it with Sammy.

Okay.

All right.

I'll put you in touch.

But then I'll tell you what.

I'll sell the remainder of those fucking Ariel Monster shirts.

And once those go, then I'll design new ones.

Okay, bye.

All right, bye.

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