Ep. 202 – Joris Bohnson

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Speaker 2 here we are

Speaker 2 oh here we are time to mute the chat of course

Speaker 3 all right there we go beautiful yeah

Speaker 2 have you put a

Speaker 2 have you put a shirt a shirt on all week

Speaker 3 I put last time we recorded I put a shirt on because I had my window open I wanted to feel the cold

Speaker 3 But now I'm back to... I put a shirt on and then my nipples started hurting.

Speaker 2 Yeah, did you see this story about the pandas finally having sex in the zoo?

Speaker 3 I did, and I got jealous.

Speaker 2 I know.

Speaker 2 That reminded me of you.

Speaker 3 It reminded me myself of me, dude. Yeah.
I was like, damn, I wish that was me. I wish I was a fat little fucking bull.
A sex. Bouncing another little

Speaker 2 type of bear.

Speaker 3 No, that's not what. Just a fat thing having sex is why it reminded me of me.

Speaker 3 Because that's kind of what I'm like.

Speaker 2 A sexless Chinese bear. No,

Speaker 3 I'm not Chinese at all. I'm not even a little bit Chinese.

Speaker 2 You're Chinese. Did I tell you? You're Chinese.
You look a little Chinese. I've got some Chinese aspects to you.

Speaker 3 Some Asiatic aspects to me.

Speaker 2 A little bit.

Speaker 3 Did I tell you when I went to popular jewelry?

Speaker 3 They literally were like, you're Chinese, right? They wanted a picture with me because I was Chinese.

Speaker 2 Yeah, maybe you should have gone to loser jewelry.

Speaker 2 Why? That's not

Speaker 2 it.

Speaker 3 I went to the right one. You and Adam should go to loser jewelry, actually.
I was at the right jewelry.

Speaker 2 Pretending to know how to skateboard jewelry.

Speaker 2 Poser jewelry.

Speaker 2 No, I'm not.

Speaker 3 I went to the right one. The lady even thought I was fucking Chinese.

Speaker 2 Yeah. The lady thought you were Chinese?

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's how I started this story.

Speaker 2 Damn. I didn't know that.
You never told us that.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I went in there. It's owned by Chinese people.
And she was like, so you're Chinese, right? And I was like, no. She was like, you're half Chinese? And I was like, no.

Speaker 2 Because I would describe you as Stavros with Chinese characteristics.

Speaker 2 if I had to describe

Speaker 2 describe your ideology

Speaker 2 with the thin mustache you look a little bit more Chinese no more Chinese

Speaker 2 a little bit a little bit is it just because I'm fat maybe I think maybe the fat closes your eyes

Speaker 3 when I'm laughing

Speaker 2 a little bit Chinese

Speaker 3 there was a there was a kid growing up great uh

Speaker 3 he was fat as shit he was his cheeks got fat only though so he wasn't that but they lit, so he did look like a, like a Buddha statue almost.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's funny where there's like, you know, people get so fat that they just get that fat face where they have like, uh,

Speaker 2 you know, their nose starts getting swallowed by their cheeks, and then they got the same look. And it's like, those, they're done, you know? I mean, unless TLC intervenes,

Speaker 2 it's over for you.

Speaker 3 Absolutely. Yeah.
Although some people carry weight in their face. My boy George

Speaker 3 had a fat face long after not being fat.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I had a, my face didn't like my face got like hollowed out when I was like 24, I think.

Speaker 2 Maybe 23. But prior to that, I had like a much, much like puffier face.

Speaker 3 Youthful, energetic. I guess.

Speaker 2 I guess you could say that.

Speaker 3 Healthy.

Speaker 3 That's what a fat face is. It's a sign of health.

Speaker 2 Is it? Yes.

Speaker 3 I don't know.

Speaker 3 Of extra nutrients. Yes.

Speaker 2 That's why they're made of root of fat.

Speaker 2 They're not seeing people on your wife yet.

Speaker 3 I'm going to pretend I don't know what you mean

Speaker 2 because I don't have a wife. I don't know if we've said that publicly, but that

Speaker 3 we have. And the ship is not my wife.

Speaker 2 It seems like your wife to me. And I don't know what that is.

Speaker 3 The medical ship is not my wife.

Speaker 2 The USNS comfort is it's like

Speaker 2 you know

Speaker 3 how would I fuck the ship? Where would I put my comfort?

Speaker 2 No, you're in the living room, and then it barges in to bring like snacks or dinner whatever

Speaker 2 okay

Speaker 2 you know look i can get i can get behind here she comes here's her just like you got you doing your podcast in there wow look at her that is cute yeah are you and your friends doing your podcast in there she's coming around the corner

Speaker 2 yeah

Speaker 2 well i'm off to the i'm off to the supermarket to buy my husband more pork rinds

Speaker 2 i don't like pork rinds that much thank you very much well i gotta go get i gotta get stuff for my husband i had a pork rinds phase, but I'm past it now.

Speaker 2 I love pork rinds.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 3 I'm past it. Too salt, make me feel bad after the next day.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, I just like the idea that you have a wife that requires a crew of 200 to maintain

Speaker 3 to hose her down.

Speaker 2 Well, no, it's just that that is part of the component within your wife is that there's hundreds of men that keep your wife running,

Speaker 2 you know, that are required to make your meals. It requires a crew of

Speaker 2 hundreds of people.

Speaker 2 Hundreds of, yeah, hundreds of gay men wearing white.

Speaker 3 Should I be honest, if you include like four girls with big titties that I can fuck, then I'm on board with them.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's how about this? It's the cast of Down Periscope.

Speaker 2 Great.

Speaker 3 Wait, what was Down Periscope?

Speaker 2 It's the Kelsey Girl movie.

Speaker 2 Yes, yes.

Speaker 3 Yes, for sure.

Speaker 3 Okay, then yes, the boat is my wife.

Speaker 2 There we go. Now we're on board.

Speaker 2 Your initial disagreement was thinking that it was some rude criticism when really it's like, I just want the best for you.

Speaker 3 You want me to be pampered?

Speaker 2 It would be really cool to have that as your wife, bro. Yeah.

Speaker 3 It would be cool. You know what?

Speaker 2 I'm glad it's my wife. We should see if Cuomo will let you get married to the ship.
He probably has a crush on it.

Speaker 2 Everyone has a crush on him, but his dumb Italian brain makes him have a crush on the big fat wife boat. Yeah, for sure.
We're not seeing patience on the boat yet.

Speaker 2 I've been making love to the boat every night, and those are the facts.

Speaker 2 I can only tell you what the facts are because we're going based on science and facts.

Speaker 3 What's my main? Why is everybody like Cuomo? I don't exactly understand.

Speaker 2 Because he gets on TV and he's the guy that's here right now.

Speaker 2 He's seen on TV. You know,

Speaker 3 everybody's scared and horny, and there's like a guy on TV that's not Trump.

Speaker 2 I get it. Well, I mean, it's like your options are Trump, de Blasio, or Cuomo.
So,

Speaker 2 yeah.

Speaker 2 It's like that ancient riddle, you know, that the guy goes to

Speaker 2 the wizard and he says, you know, I can either call you the N-word, call you the K-word, or fuck you and your ass.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Which one do you want? And the guy's like,

Speaker 2 I guess you can call me the K-word. That seems to be a good thing.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's the one I would pick, too.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then, you know, the guy comes. It doesn't even hurt my feelings.
The guy comes running down the mountain. He goes into the village and he's like, the wizard called me a kike.

Speaker 2 And he's all happy about it. And they're like, What? That's bad.
And he's like, No, but the other

Speaker 2 options. The other options are, I can't even repeat them.
Yeah, you know, that classic Aesop

Speaker 2 Aesop fable.

Speaker 3 Gesop's fable.

Speaker 3 If you had to fuck Mary Kill

Speaker 3 Cuomo Trump de Blasio,

Speaker 3 I guess you fuck Trump.

Speaker 2 Why?

Speaker 3 Well, I guess you marry.

Speaker 2 Well, I guess

Speaker 2 de Blasio seems like a good idea. There's no good options with the whole thing.
It's all bad.

Speaker 3 Cuomo, I don't want to be married to an Italian.

Speaker 2 Why?

Speaker 2 Because they're

Speaker 2 faithful.

Speaker 3 They cheat. Trump cheats and rapes.

Speaker 2 De Blasio is probably a good husband.

Speaker 3 Yeah, he's German. He's not Italian.
He just has an Italian name. So you get all the funny parts of an Italian with German stability.

Speaker 2 You know, a good base like Angela Merkel. Yeah.

Speaker 3 You know that bitch could take a cock

Speaker 2 with his big cankles.

Speaker 3 So, okay, you got that Merkel-like getting fucked ability.

Speaker 3 And then

Speaker 3 I guess I fucked Trump for the story to see what his cock looks like. Yeah, and I think you have to whack Cuomo to put it in terms

Speaker 3 he would understand.

Speaker 3 His brother's hotter than him.

Speaker 2 His brother's what?

Speaker 3 Hotter than him.

Speaker 2 Chris. Yeah.
Isn't Chris in a relationship with Don Lemon?

Speaker 2 They do, they do

Speaker 2 two television shows in a row, which probably means

Speaker 2 shit's going down. I thought they were sexually involved with each other.

Speaker 3 Yeah, no, I think they are.

Speaker 2 I think you're right. I remember reading that on Facebook a couple years back.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's there. That's the thing I remember.

Speaker 2 I remember reading about.

Speaker 3 I heard the only time they have sex with a woman is when Rachel Maddow pegs them, actually. I heard that on Facebook, too.

Speaker 3 Probably down on the same comment thread that you read.

Speaker 2 Yeah. You read.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And there's a spin-off show

Speaker 2 called Maddow About You.

Speaker 3 Maddow About You.

Speaker 2 And she fucks

Speaker 3 with them and Wolf Blitzer.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Dildo.
He did.

Speaker 3 And Paul Riser, too.

Speaker 2 Paul Riser too. She also fucks Paul Riser.

Speaker 2 He fucks Paul Riser for sure. Yeah, I think I remember reading all that on Facebook.
Yeah. That's a good show.

Speaker 3 Underrated.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 The writing staff on Mad Ow About You is fucking wild. They got all the guys from Fraser.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 It's a similar type of show.

Speaker 2 Bitch. They taught me that Jewish guys could have wives.

Speaker 3 That was big for you. Jewish guys getting blonde wives.

Speaker 2 They could have a wife.

Speaker 3 A blonde, annoying fucking woman.

Speaker 2 A blonde, annoying wife.

Speaker 2 A shiksa wife.

Speaker 2 What does shiksa mean? It means rape.

Speaker 2 It means

Speaker 2 prisoner. It means raped victim.

Speaker 2 It means smuggled in traffic. Oh, yes.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Is it because now is shiksa? Is that because it sounds like shaksuka and their pussies are spicy to the Jewish tongue?

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's a spicy breakfast dish. It's a spicy meatball.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 Do they make spicy meatballs?

Speaker 3 That's a good question because most meatballs I've had are not spicy.

Speaker 2 And the Italians never shut the fuck up about how spicy meatballs are. And I've never had a spicy meatball in my entire life.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 That's a great point. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I've had a spicy sausage. That's why, and that's who they put in charge of this thing.
Is some waff

Speaker 2 that's going to, you know, all I can deal with is facts.

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, you can't even figure out whether your pasta's

Speaker 2 a fucking piece of shit. Yeah, dude.
How about that? How about that? Here's my question: How do you become a reporter that gets asked questions in those briefings?

Speaker 2 I guess you go to school, and then you get a report.

Speaker 3 You have to go to fucking Northwestern, I think.

Speaker 2 You got to work for a news organization.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Or your dad could be the governor, which is what Chris Cuomo did, and your brother could be the governor, too.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 You could be hot.

Speaker 3 You could be fuckable.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I thought it was cool when a guy said, what do you say to the people that are scared right now? And Trump said, I say you're a terrible reporter. Yeah, well,

Speaker 2 he's been doing that the whole time. He wrote somebody else up.

Speaker 3 Yeah, he got him.

Speaker 2 I'm struggling here because we have a read and I can't find.

Speaker 2 That's all right, bro. Well, I got to find the new copy.
And every time this fucking happens, but I find it and then I forget what I typed in. And I also have four different email addresses.

Speaker 3 You got to consolidate, brother.

Speaker 2 I should, but,

Speaker 2 you know, they kept it.

Speaker 3 Little dickboy at nickisgay.org is available.

Speaker 2 They kept getting mad at me.

Speaker 2 You know what it is available that I didn't buy it because I was too lazy to do it. I don't even want to say it.

Speaker 2 I'm not going to say it because somebody else

Speaker 2 will take it before. Don't say it.

Speaker 3 Someone will do it while you're saying it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's a good find. I'll hold on to that one.
Yeah, hold on to that.

Speaker 3 Anyway, I guess we should talk about how we're fucked because Bernie's out.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm really sad. Shit sucks, dude.
This really sucks. Well, there's also like a pandemic, so

Speaker 3 yeah, that too.

Speaker 3 We're going to get our asses fucked by a type of bunch of different stuff. I heard there's going to be hurricanes, dude.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 From some guy, again, on Facebook. So I don't know actually if that's true or not.

Speaker 2 Bill Gates is inventing a machine to hide elite-level pedophilia with hurricanes.

Speaker 2 Elite level.

Speaker 2 The hurricane, it passes over and it goes over, you know, and then you get to the eye of the

Speaker 2 eye of the storm. It's

Speaker 3 a hot air balloon where you can rape children.

Speaker 2 Don Lemon and Chris Cuomo holding hands with each other. Going on a date.

Speaker 3 It's the house from up in the eye of the storm, and they're just having gay sex and sex with children in there. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Damn, maybe I should re-watch up.

Speaker 3 Dude, unless you want to cry.

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 2 I'd probably turn it off after 10 minutes.

Speaker 3 That's the part where you cry at the beginning. It's sad as fuck.

Speaker 2 His hot little wife dies.

Speaker 3 Shit is fucked up, dude.

Speaker 2 Is it fucked up?

Speaker 3 Yeah, dude, it's sad.

Speaker 2 I don't remember any of the emotions of the movie. I just remember

Speaker 2 there was a house

Speaker 2 and the boy was Korean.

Speaker 3 Yes, he was a fat little Korean boy.

Speaker 2 Yeah, those are the two details of the movie that I recall.

Speaker 3 Dude, the first fucking, like, 11 minutes of up, a real fucking tearjerker.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it is crazy how they're able to just do that and, like, you know, with no dialogue. Quick, dude.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Just because

Speaker 3 they draw the things with so much life in their eyes.

Speaker 2 Here we go. Okay.

Speaker 2 I got this shit now, fellas. All right.

Speaker 3 What are we going to do it in 15 minutes or right now?

Speaker 2 No, we'll do it a lot at time. Okay, nice.
How about are you on you?

Speaker 2 Do you have a stockpile?

Speaker 2 You have no reason to take the pills.

Speaker 3 Dude, that's the one thing. My body, you know how they're saying, like, nature is returning?

Speaker 3 My body is returning to nature with no dick pills, dude.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so you have a vagina now?

Speaker 2 Your penis is falling off.

Speaker 3 The cock is out, dude.

Speaker 2 No more penis. Dude, my balls have shrunk.

Speaker 2 My balls keep getting fatter. My pubes have fallen off.
My balls have shrunk.

Speaker 2 I can sing in a beautiful falsetto now. My hair is growing back.

Speaker 2 Look,

Speaker 2 my hair is all growing back.

Speaker 3 Look how beautiful my hairline is, dude. Look at this beautiful, immaculate hair.

Speaker 2 You know, it's funny. It doesn't look like it's receded since you cut it all off.
I mean, it was that bad and fucking.

Speaker 3 I think I just have this shitty hairline for the rest of my life.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Which is annoying. Look at this.
It looks like a fucking arrow pointing to my penis.

Speaker 2 Does it? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Well, actually, it looks like a butt plug.

Speaker 3 Here's the little end. Here's Here's the bigger end.

Speaker 2 I don't even see what you're talking about

Speaker 3 Yeah, well you need to fucking open your eyes pal

Speaker 3 It's like a I wish I was going balder cuz I want a bald ponytail, but I'm just gonna have this hairy bullshit like fucking thin layer of hair just shave that part and then

Speaker 2 yes, that's it. It looks like Adam's out.

Speaker 2 Well, no big deal. Now's our chance

Speaker 2 to read his social media.

Speaker 3 This is awesome because now it's live streamed, so we could just not do it with it.

Speaker 3 we'd be like sorry dude it was the live stream yeah sorry we had to keep the show the show must go on yeah and actually people really liked it so i think we're just going to keep doing it i think we're just you were just going to keep going this way

Speaker 2 just two guys

Speaker 2 and it automatically cut him out of the picture too

Speaker 2 the computer the program hurt us yeah

Speaker 2 initializing making the podcast better right it'd be funny if there were if there were like you know like elite tech pedophiles that were in control of everything the playing the virus you know whatever this is all just contravence.

Speaker 2 But then they also listened to the podcast and they were like, also,

Speaker 2 not only do we fuck kids, but we're going to get Adam off the show. Adam's off the fuck.
Adam's gone.

Speaker 3 I thought actually what might have happened is this program has like an auto-detect feature that automatically,

Speaker 3 you know, removes white noise from the background. Yeah.
And that's kind of fucking.

Speaker 2 You might have like. Yeah.
This story is from the movie Cheaper by the Dozen.

Speaker 2 This is stolen.

Speaker 3 Riff momentum.

Speaker 2 Riff momentum.

Speaker 3 Riff momentum. Time to stop.

Speaker 2 Time to stop.

Speaker 2 It sounds like there's an echo from two weeks ago.

Speaker 2 It sounds like

Speaker 2 things that were said weeks ago are being repeated now.

Speaker 2 Let's just go ahead and trim that out.

Speaker 3 Yeah. It's like, yeah, it's like putting a filter.

Speaker 2 I'm glad that it's his computer that fucked up. After all the shit I caught over my beautiful mixing board.
That's true. Which the audience should know that issue has been resolved.

Speaker 2 I figured out how to mix out,

Speaker 2 you know, and so now we get

Speaker 2 that bad boy back in there.

Speaker 2 And I can hear it. I can hear myself.
I can hear you. Hearing myself is important for when I do voices.
Absolutely. You know?

Speaker 3 Dude, no joke. Look how smooth this is running without Adam.
Like, even tech-wise. We look beautiful.
Right.

Speaker 2 He's texting me. Can you resend the link?

Speaker 3 It's in the fucking text thread, you dumbass.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's also like, what am I supposed to do? Close this window, open iMessage.

Speaker 2 I'm supposed to close Safari, go all the way to iMessage. Come on, man.
Manually

Speaker 2 while podcasting, manually type out HTTP, the whole link.

Speaker 2 I'm supposed to look at the URL, memorize it.

Speaker 2 You want me to write this down on a piece of paper?

Speaker 3 What the hell, man?

Speaker 2 And then take a picture of of it and then upload it to you and upload it to your FTP so then you can go, then you log in.

Speaker 2 Yep. And then look at.
I'm supposed to do all that.

Speaker 3 You want me to do those things?

Speaker 2 That's the steps.

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 2 sorry, guys. Hello, Adam.

Speaker 2 Hell yeah. Okay, I'm just kidding.

Speaker 2 All right, we'll get

Speaker 2 all right. Hey, sorry, my computer froze.
Uh-huh. Yeah, I'm back.
Yeah. Nice, dude.
I was just showing you that.

Speaker 2 I did screen share and I was showing everybody QuickBooks and how I can just have, like, I got your W-9

Speaker 2 signed electronic. Oh, you showed everyone my social security.
Yeah, well, I was just showing them how cool it is how QuickBooks works.

Speaker 2 Well, I love good tips on books and stuff like that. For example, we'll go to contractor Adam Friedland's page here, and we'll take a look.

Speaker 2 And you can see you've got his address plugged in there, and

Speaker 2 here's his social security number.

Speaker 3 His EIN

Speaker 2 for his corporation.

Speaker 3 Yeah,

Speaker 2 for my S-Corp. Cool.
Well, you know, as long as everyone's still on the same board. Well,

Speaker 3 everything goes in through IsraelCorp. LLC.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Well, yeah, well, I'm actually.
My S-Corp is a Shell corporation for Likud.

Speaker 2 I was.

Speaker 2 It's a pass-through.

Speaker 3 You're paid through.

Speaker 3 Who's the guy that does

Speaker 3 Power Rangers and Hummus?

Speaker 2 Chaim Saban.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you're paid through the Saban Corporation. You're an employee of Saban.

Speaker 2 Yes,

Speaker 2 I'm a subsidiary of Soda Streaming.

Speaker 2 How about instead of an idiot Savant, it's an idiot Saban? And he's like, I'm retarded, but I'm also Jewish.

Speaker 2 All right, we're back. We're back.

Speaker 3 Idiot Saban.

Speaker 2 An idiot Saban. I love that.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 They're like,

Speaker 2 yeah.

Speaker 2 Charlie, Charlie, we have to go to Vegas.

Speaker 2 They're like, what's the problem with my brother? They're like, well, he's retarded, but he's also Jewish. But he's Jewish.
He's like, wait a minute. You're saying I can use him to make money?

Speaker 2 Definitely

Speaker 2 going to make the workers work.

Speaker 2 We got to make them come up. We're going to set up a bank, Charlie.
Charlie, we're going to set up a bank.

Speaker 3 Prices definitely do. The rent works.

Speaker 2 Definitely, definitely going to correct it.

Speaker 2 Definitely going going to correct it.

Speaker 2 Definitely going to own a couple of properties.

Speaker 2 Your brother's an idiot, Saba.

Speaker 2 Mentally disabled, but he also inherited all of your dad's money.

Speaker 3 Definitely have to buy Clorox

Speaker 3 and sell them for 400%.

Speaker 2 Definitely a markup market. Definitely going to buy all the N95 masks.
Definitely going to.

Speaker 2 I almost got into a fight with a guy in Costco Park. Definitely solved.
You almost lost the fight.

Speaker 2 You almost got your ass kicked.

Speaker 2 There was a guy in Costco parking lot selling N95s for $50 a mask.

Speaker 3 Get the fuck out of here.

Speaker 2 Yeah. He was,

Speaker 2 I'll say this,

Speaker 2 Filipino.

Speaker 2 N95

Speaker 2 seems like it would be like the name of a racist sneaker.

Speaker 2 Yeah. You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 Like the Nike N95.

Speaker 3 Yeah. N95.

Speaker 2 There's nothing flashy here. Right.
Don't even try me for my N95s.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it was good to see someone other than a Hasidic Jew trying to

Speaker 2 benefit from this horrific pandemic. What are you talking about? Who?

Speaker 3 They should have fucked up that Panoye.

Speaker 2 This guy in the this Pinoy guy in the Costco parking lot that was selling N95s for.

Speaker 2 He was trying to flip N95s.

Speaker 2 He looked like he

Speaker 2 was a car salesman, actually.

Speaker 2 We're not even supposed to wear them here anymore. You're supposed to make them.
What do you mean? They're supposed to go to the hospital.

Speaker 2 If you have them, you're supposed to just donate them to a hospital. You're supposed to make your own mask.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 You're supposed to make

Speaker 2 my mask is this.

Speaker 3 My roommate's family in Texas found three random ones and mailed them to us.

Speaker 3 So, am I not supposed to use that?

Speaker 2 No, you're supposed to make your own shit. And then you're supposed to give the, you should go drop those off at Elmhurst.

Speaker 2 Okay, I'll do that.

Speaker 3 Where's that? Oh, Elmhurst. I'm not trying to go over there.

Speaker 2 Why?

Speaker 3 Because it's dangerous, bro.

Speaker 2 Is it?

Speaker 3 I think so. I'm not leaving the house at all, bro.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I'm scared.
You're scared of the virus?

Speaker 3 I'm scared of the virus. It's been nice.
It's like Adam's gone again.

Speaker 2 I haven't checked in on.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, he is frozen.

Speaker 2 Just stupid figures.

Speaker 3 Looking at a man's penis.

Speaker 2 Just like not, it's funny because it's like, even if he were here, he'd have that look and he'd not be listening to a word that's been said.

Speaker 3 No, dude, that's this is actually perfect because this is exactly what we deal with all the time.

Speaker 2 I know. This is not listening to the look on his face.

Speaker 3 Waiting to say something that's not a joke.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I was thinking about getting into turtlenecks.

Speaker 2 You're like, oh,

Speaker 2 okay.

Speaker 2 Would that be weird?

Speaker 2 Would that be weird if I had a turtleneck?

Speaker 3 Goddamn, dude.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Damn, I guess I won't use the mask anymore. Yeah, you're supposed to.
I just got it. I was excited.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I want to get like a scream mask, scary clown mask. Oh, yeah.
Stormtrooper outfit.

Speaker 3 Bill Clinton with his tongue out.

Speaker 2 Bill Clinton with his tongue out.

Speaker 3 That was a big mask, remember? In like the late 90s, big Halloween mask.

Speaker 2 yeah well spencer's gifts had that wall of like

Speaker 2 the uh the fancy halloween mask yes

Speaker 2 you would just look at as a poor child be like one day yeah just like one day i'm gonna be the fucked up clown with his with a chainsaw mark halfway through i don't think anyone was buying those because they were like 200

Speaker 2 for a halloween mask

Speaker 3 They were for kids to ask their parents. You know what the function was? You set, you want, you ask for a very expensive thing so that maybe it bumps you up.

Speaker 3 So you get a mid-tier instead of a low-tier one. Yeah.
Because you whine, like, oh, I want the $200 mask.

Speaker 3 Oh, was it the hat you think, Adam, that's doing it? Is that why you?

Speaker 2 No,

Speaker 2 I don't know. My computer keeps crashing.
So

Speaker 2 I got it fucking 11 months ago. So,

Speaker 2 yeah. Yeah, I was lucky in that both of my parents are creatively inclined.
So,

Speaker 2 like, the homemade costumes were very good.

Speaker 3 Oh, interesting.

Speaker 2 My mom sewed Sonic the Hedgehog for me when I was like five.

Speaker 2 Hell yeah. And it was like, I mean, I guess maybe in retrospect, I didn't look like Sonic at all.
She just looks like shit. But as a child.

Speaker 2 No, it had like the fucking thing she sewed. Oh, shit.
Okay. She did the whole.
And painted my face.

Speaker 3 My mom painted my mom was a great face painter.

Speaker 2 And then I just wanted to be, yeah, I just wanted to be

Speaker 2 the Grim Reaper every other year. So it's just a hoodie and then a plastic scythe.
And then Coo.

Speaker 3 I was Hercules.

Speaker 3 That was a big one. Because I was a big fan of the Kevin Sorbo,

Speaker 3 the Kevin Sorbo series. So I had the Kevin Sorbo Hercules.

Speaker 2 Oh, Dick Tracy.

Speaker 3 Dick Tracy. Nice.

Speaker 3 Look, Adam, this one is just not meant to be today.

Speaker 2 You might have to sit this one out.

Speaker 2 I'll just, I'll come, you know, I'll try my, I'll try. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, we're

Speaker 2 trying to to do a seasonal Halloween show.

Speaker 2 A nice topical Halloween show, and you're ruining the vibes. You're trying to get people in the Halloween spirit.

Speaker 2 Pixelated.

Speaker 3 Pixelated like a Grand Theft Auto blow job.

Speaker 2 Like a Japanese woman's vagina.

Speaker 3 Yes. Yeah.
And the only porn worth jacking off to. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It'd be tight if you went over there and you took off a Japanese woman's pants and her shit was all just pixelated. And you're like, whoa, for real?

Speaker 2 How? Awesome.

Speaker 3 And you put your dick inside and it felt like dial-up.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it feels like

Speaker 2 Neo going into the Matrix for the first time.

Speaker 2 Whoa.

Speaker 3 It's rolling back in your head. You're jacking into the mainframe.

Speaker 3 Every Japanese woman's pussy.

Speaker 3 That would all be awesome.

Speaker 2 Yeah. You know what's good? Is Gelt.
The Jews should have hung everything on Gelt.

Speaker 2 Which Gelt is a good kid.

Speaker 2 I don't know if it's so good for us to be doing candy money. Why?

Speaker 2 Because of the stereotype that we love coins and gold. Yeah, but

Speaker 2 then you make it so everyone likes it.

Speaker 3 This is the kind of gold everyone likes.

Speaker 2 This is why you're stupid.

Speaker 2 Because here's the thing. You know, like people are like, oh, black people love fried chicken.
They're like, okay, well, we'll open the best fried chicken restaurants.

Speaker 2 And then you have to go. Popeyes.
Yeah, Popeyes, which is owned by Jimmy Popeye.

Speaker 2 Jimmy Popeye.

Speaker 2 There is actually an Israeli chocolate restaurant in the middle of Manhattan. Max Bruner or something.

Speaker 3 The fuck?

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's across the street from the AMC. I did not know that was Israeli.
It's Israeli. I thought it was...

Speaker 3 It's a chocolate restaurant.

Speaker 2 Stay woke. Yeah, it's a chocolate restaurant.
Are you going to have to break BDS

Speaker 2 stops about to he's about to cross the BDS picket line because it's a chocolate restaurant just

Speaker 3 you see the dust cloud

Speaker 3 and I just come back and I was covered in chocolate

Speaker 3 like Sonic that'd be cool

Speaker 3 that would be fucking tight dude

Speaker 3 because I'm gay now I've been I've been listening to the new weekend album pretty good yeah

Speaker 2 I tried listening to the new Nine Inch Nails album

Speaker 2 it should just be called more of the same.

Speaker 3 I think I've only heard like

Speaker 3 the one about being an animal or whatever.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I fuck you like an animal. Yeah,

Speaker 3 that's what I'm gonna do. That guy does music.
That guy does film scores now, Trent Resner.

Speaker 2 Trent Resnor, yeah. He did social network, Trent Lesnar.
Really?

Speaker 2 Lesbian Lesbian

Speaker 3 something,

Speaker 3 Brock Lesnar.

Speaker 2 That's true.

Speaker 2 That's true.

Speaker 2 It's because he's lesbian. Yeah.
Yeah, dude.

Speaker 3 He got to fuck Sable. That's his wife.

Speaker 2 I didn't watch this. Yeah, but in a lesbian way.
What's that?

Speaker 3 Did you watch this? Did you guys ever jack off the wrestling?

Speaker 2 No. No, we've had this conversation, too.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 2 You did watch Tiger King.

Speaker 3 I did watch it. It was pretty good.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 What's it about? It's a guy that fucks tigers?

Speaker 3 He's, yeah, I think

Speaker 2 he's gay.

Speaker 3 Gay and he has a little tiger zoo, and he like tricks teenagers on meth to suck his cock.

Speaker 2 Rising up. Basically,

Speaker 2 that's what

Speaker 2 all these Netflix shows are, no? Just

Speaker 2 like

Speaker 2 people on drugs. Tigers.

Speaker 3 Shut up, Adam. We're trying to do a song about

Speaker 2 the song on the air.

Speaker 2 It's the guy of the tiger.

Speaker 2 Stop making it about me.

Speaker 2 It's not

Speaker 2 a show about a gay song.

Speaker 2 Now, if you'll excuse me, me and Nick will do a gay song. Why don't you go unplug your internet again? It wasn't the internet, it was my computer that crashed.
Oh, why?

Speaker 2 Did you buy the cheapest computer? No, I didn't. I bought it.
So you're like, I have to do my job. Give me the cheapest.

Speaker 2 Just give me the cheapest computer.

Speaker 2 It's a Mac market. I've never seen a woman's pussy.
Yes, you know I have. No, you haven't.
You're lying.

Speaker 2 You lied about it.

Speaker 2 It's been nothing.

Speaker 2 And your dick's small. Speaking of, if your dick's small and you'd like medicine,

Speaker 2 if your dick's small like Adam and you would like some medicine to deal with it, there's a new company out there. There's no medicine for it.
Oh, hell yeah. Doom Eternal comes today.

Speaker 2 Oh, nice.

Speaker 3 Oh, you're doing physical.

Speaker 3 Even in the face of a pandemic, you're not downloading?

Speaker 2 No, I never downloaded shit.

Speaker 3 I know, but now.

Speaker 2 Which I don't know why, because it doesn't really save you any.

Speaker 3 You can use it on different systems, I think, is the only difference.

Speaker 2 What downloading?

Speaker 3 No, if you do discs.

Speaker 2 Oh, we can use it on like PS5 when that comes out.

Speaker 3 I don't know, I just meant like a different PlayStation.

Speaker 2 I thought it's I thought that I thought having the disc saved you some space, but I guess it doesn't at all.

Speaker 3 Nah, dude, it's so fucking bullshit. You fucking put a disc in and then it has to load for an hour.
Yeah, fuck that, dude.

Speaker 2 Um, I'm pissed sometimes longer, anyways. If you like, if you like having sex,

Speaker 2 you love

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Speaker 3 Dude, oh, that's right. Their website.
I forgot about that.

Speaker 2 I'll tell Nick to stop saying that it can work fast. Okay.

Speaker 2 That's part.

Speaker 2 Please tell the Cometown guys, not only

Speaker 2 they cannot say twice as fast at all. That's what I keep fucking up.
Okay. That was the email.

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Speaker 3 A pimp with erectile dysfunction.

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Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm sorry.

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Speaker 2 Wow. Notes and idea starters.
Please use your own language and talk about your own experiences if you wish. Oh, we did.
We want men to know it's okay to need or want some help.

Speaker 3 It's not, let's be clear, it's not okay.

Speaker 3 It's not okay, but guess what? Let's fuck.

Speaker 3 I'm ashamed every time I take a pill. I think to myself, my body, I'm 31 years old, my cock should get hard.
But listen, why even think about what's okay?

Speaker 2 I don't care. I just think about it like drugs.
Yep. You know?

Speaker 2 Because then it's, it's nice, it gives me the possibility to overdose on fucking, which is what fucking has been missing.

Speaker 2 It's why I could never develop any kind of sex addiction because there wasn't a chance that I'd have a heart attack.

Speaker 3 Yes, well, guess what? Now,

Speaker 3 now there are folks.

Speaker 2 Now you could have a brain aneurysm.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah. You take enough of those, you'll get a real headache.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I've been there, brother.

Speaker 2 You want to talk about our experience? Let's be be clear. We've gotten ahead of you 30 seconds ago.

Speaker 2 My ears have gotten hot. Listen.

Speaker 2 No, stop me.

Speaker 2 No, stop. No, put me back on.

Speaker 2 Put me back. Okay.

Speaker 2 I'll be good.

Speaker 2 Damn, I love that.

Speaker 3 That is awesome.

Speaker 2 It is cool. I wonder if there's a way where I can give you executive privileges.
That would be nice. Damn.
Me?

Speaker 2 No, no. No, not you, Adam.

Speaker 2 Now I kind of want to re-watch executive privileges.

Speaker 3 what's that about

Speaker 2 executive decision you mean no it's a different movie

Speaker 2 it's a better one actually it's got jt walsh

Speaker 2 and uh alec baldwin

Speaker 2 and uh bill

Speaker 2 bill pullman

Speaker 2 oh yeah

Speaker 2 yeah bill pullman classic jt walsh uh

Speaker 2 classic boss guys yeah the executive permission or whatever

Speaker 2 and whatever i said the first time

Speaker 2 Executive permission.

Speaker 2 1997 executive permission. When you're an executive.

Speaker 2 You need permission. Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's when movies are good.

Speaker 3 Todd Baldwin teaching Bill Pullman he can rate.

Speaker 2 Based on the Clive Clancy novel, executive permission. Executive permission.
About Clive Clancy.

Speaker 3 Clive Clancy's good. Tom Clancy's gay brother.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Permission to speak freely, sir.

Speaker 2 That line precedes every other line in the movie.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, fuck.

Speaker 2 Someone needs to wake up the president.

Speaker 2 It's like 3 a.m. Sir, you need to take a look at this.
The president, somebody.

Speaker 2 Somebody, it's my penis.

Speaker 2 Somebody needs to get permission from the president to see this.

Speaker 2 You don't have the executive permission, son. I don't have, son.

Speaker 3 You ain't got the executive permission to make it.

Speaker 2 You don't have the executive permission. I'm a four-star general, and I'm mad in the movie.
And I'm not looking at your penis. And I'm upset

Speaker 2 the whole time.

Speaker 2 The whole movie. The whole movie.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 Let me take these Arabs back to the Stone Ages and know I will not look at your penis.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And then there's like some bitch that wears shoulder pads.

Speaker 2 You know, and she's like, remember when we had sex at Harvard?

Speaker 2 Remember, we had

Speaker 2 then remember when we used to fuck

Speaker 2 in politics college.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah, dude.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, those were different times. Those were different times, you fucking whore.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we can't, when we were just kids, and now it's executive, now it's a whole world of commission and executive.

Speaker 2 There's like 400 movies that are just

Speaker 2 somebody stole 25 to 99. Yeah, the vice president slipped on a banana and died, and nobody knows where he is.
The public doesn't know, but they've replaced the vice president with a clone.

Speaker 2 Terrorists.

Speaker 2 Russian terrorists. Russian ultra-nationalists have replaced the vice president with a clone.

Speaker 3 That's a good-ass movie right there.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 I would watch that, honestly. You know what I watched recently? Was Big Trouble in Little China.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah. That's a good-ass movie, dude.

Speaker 2 You like it because it has magic, right?

Speaker 3 I love magic.

Speaker 2 I haven't seen it since I was a kid.

Speaker 3 It's good. You should watch it.

Speaker 2 Have you seen Showdown in Little Tokyo?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 It's a very funny movie. Not even funny.
It's the same movie? No, it's a different movie. It's Brandon Lee and Dolph Lundgren.

Speaker 3 Are you sure that's not the same movie?

Speaker 2 It's Brandon Lee and Dolph Lundgren, and they play like Asian task force police on the LAPD.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so like the LAPD.

Speaker 2 Yeah, the LAPD has like a section just for dealing with

Speaker 2 Asian criminals. Karate.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 But there's all this like... I mean, the movie's hilarious, but

Speaker 2 they get some Yakuza guy, and he's in, and like, Dolph Lundgren knows everything about the Asian gangs or whatever.

Speaker 2 So there's like a Yakuza guy in like the interrogation box, and he's left for alone for a second. And Dolph Lundgren sees the guy by himself, and he's like, shit.

Speaker 2 You know, and he starts running in the room. They're like, what? What is it? You know, and the guy just takes his own head and breaks his own neck

Speaker 2 while being like voluntarily detained. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Just question about something.

Speaker 3 That fucking rocks, dude.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Damn, Showdown in Little Tokyo.

Speaker 3 That's awesome that they just named a movie that.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I watched Showgirls in China. I watched Showgirls yesterday.

Speaker 3 I don't think you did.

Speaker 2 Yes, I did. You're a liar.
And you know what? It's funny though.

Speaker 2 You've been watching Barney every day. No, I haven't been watching any babies.
Yeah,

Speaker 3 I'm pretty sure you didn't watch Barney.

Speaker 2 Every day it's been nothing but Barney. Well, I've been in Time Out a lot.
Yeah, you watch. I've been here.
You watch Show Guys.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I don't know.
No idea to watch Show Guys. Showboys.
That's not a movie. It is.

Speaker 3 I just checked. It actually is.

Speaker 2 It's funny how. Hold on, hold on.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I just checked. It is.

Speaker 2 What was that sound? It was a computer. It was a computer.

Speaker 2 It was a typewriter.

Speaker 3 It was a computer. I was checking.
All right, fine. And it is.
And actually, I'm looking.

Speaker 2 Hold on. Enhance.
Enhance.

Speaker 3 Adam Friedland just watched it according to Netflix.

Speaker 2 According to Adam.

Speaker 2 The data. It just hacked into Netflix.
The data's in there.

Speaker 2 The data's already locked in.

Speaker 2 The president's going to want to know about this.

Speaker 3 I got into the back end

Speaker 3 through a back door, through an HTML channel. Mr.
President.

Speaker 2 Requesting permission. We're requesting permission to prove that Adam Friedland watched Showgirls.

Speaker 2 Show guys. Show guys.

Speaker 3 God damn it, son. You got to ask me before you go to the president about this.

Speaker 2 This isn't an executive permission situation. DEF CON 5.
DEF CON, we're moving to DEF CON NORAD.

Speaker 2 Oh my god, we're moving to DEF CON 17.

Speaker 2 We're at watch level alpha.

Speaker 2 Yes, we are.

Speaker 2 No,

Speaker 2 they have the president hostage, and the vice president is a Glenn Close type.

Speaker 2 White bitch. No, come on, Nick.
Come on.

Speaker 2 Come on. Okay.

Speaker 2 The president is a Glenn Close type.

Speaker 2 A white bitch, and they got to get the president back. Otherwise, there's going to be a white woman, the first white woman president.
Okay. And it stars us, and we got to save the president.

Speaker 3 Glenn Close is the white. But I thought you said she is the president.

Speaker 2 She's the vice president. They have like a short haircut,

Speaker 2 kind of lesbian, late 80s lesbian mom-looking vice president. Yeah.

Speaker 3 And unless we do something, there's going to be a white woman in charge.

Speaker 2 Unless we save the president. Yeah.
That's right.

Speaker 3 That's actually pretty good. That's got legs.

Speaker 2 Thank you. Thank you.

Speaker 3 Because we don't want that.

Speaker 2 That's the last thing. That's the last thing.

Speaker 2 The president's going to want to get fucked in his ass.

Speaker 2 Sir,

Speaker 2 we did some studies at the museum, and it seems

Speaker 2 somebody fucked you in your ass while you were asleep.

Speaker 3 Well, yeah, sir. We looked through everybody who went to the museum.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Ah, the museum.

Speaker 2 What's your name, son?

Speaker 2 It's Indiana Jones.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it seems somebody

Speaker 2 take

Speaker 2 while you were asleep.

Speaker 3 It says it right here in this ancient scroll.

Speaker 2 The Nazis

Speaker 2 sucked you off while you were

Speaker 2 they cloned you and they sucked you off.

Speaker 3 It's just like the bunch of Nazis sucking.

Speaker 2 Anybody want to tell me why Dr. Jones here is the first person to let me know I got fucked in my ass while I was asleep?

Speaker 2 Is the cabinets just silent?

Speaker 2 What do I pay you people for?

Speaker 3 Just the bull whipping the Nazis away from the president's cock.

Speaker 3 It turns out the cabinet was in on it, dude. Yeah.

Speaker 2 George Lucas and like the DVD commentary just being like, yeah, well, at this point, I had completely run out of ideas.

Speaker 2 But I was intrigued by the possibility of making even more money.

Speaker 2 So I considered a sort of a collaboration with Aaron Sorkin and

Speaker 2 Tom Clancy to

Speaker 3 make a movie. I love that.
It just shifts tones completely for like nine minutes. Yeah.
And it's an Indiana Jones movie.

Speaker 3 Who the hell is this guy?

Speaker 2 Dude,

Speaker 2 I was looking like Boris Johnson was going to die there for a little bit. That would have been awesome.
That would have been so funny. That would have been the funniest bit of all time.

Speaker 2 He was getting got. He would be the greatest.
The greatest of all time. Forever.
Best bit.

Speaker 3 Better. Nothing.
Andy. Everyone talks about Andy Kaufman being doing the best bits.
No. Yeah.
Boris Johnson dying of coronavirus.

Speaker 2 After publicly bragging about going around hospitals shaking hands with people with corona. He's like, I just shook their hand still.
It didn't matter.

Speaker 3 You think he's dead and they cloned him?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 They don't have that technology in England. Somebody's cloned the queen of England.

Speaker 3 The mayor, but with a smaller title.

Speaker 2 The mayor of

Speaker 2 the mayor. We got the CIA to come in and explain who the president of England is.

Speaker 2 I can never keep it straight. Which one do they got? A president over there?

Speaker 2 Yep.

Speaker 3 Alec Baldwin is confused about that.

Speaker 3 Now, slow down. You're telling me they got a queen over there?

Speaker 2 Have you seen executive decision? No. yeah i might watch it again i've seen it very funny i've seen it probably 19 times and i have i can't i have no idea what the movie is about

Speaker 2 it's just scene after scene in the overall office and you know just fucking i mean at one point they really do go uh

Speaker 2 the uh i forget which actor it is len Care you maybe that's his, I can't remember, but he, he, like, he's looking at like a table of generals or something, and he's like,

Speaker 2 get the president on the phone. It's an executive decision now.

Speaker 2 Right, yeah.

Speaker 2 It's an executive decision. Name of the movie, yeah.

Speaker 3 I love when they do that shit, dude.

Speaker 2 It's very funny.

Speaker 3 Yeah, haven't seen that. Um, I've just watched a couple John Carpenter-type things got big trouble, and then I watched Escape from New York.
That was fucking awesome.

Speaker 2 Escape from New York. Hell yeah.
I watched that on 9-11 last year. The sequel is dog shit.
Yeah, we

Speaker 2 got together.

Speaker 3 And I was confused. I was like, because when Escape from New York was awesome, I was like, why did the sequel suck, Dick?

Speaker 3 But the sequel was just corny, but the first one was awesome.

Speaker 2 The first one rules, dude.

Speaker 3 Shouts out to Ernest Borgnine, dude.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 His little toothy grin.

Speaker 2 Christine.

Speaker 2 Christine is the best John Carpenter movie.

Speaker 3 Is there a lady with big-ass tits in it?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 3 Because Escape from New York has that one lady. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Her tits are awesome. Christine's good if you want to have sex with cars.

Speaker 3 I don't, unfortunately. Damn.

Speaker 3 What's Christine about?

Speaker 2 It's about a big dog. Yeah, it's about a big dog.
A big red dog.

Speaker 3 No, no, no, no, no. There's like a horror movie that's about a big dog.

Speaker 2 Hmm. Well, I just.
There's the thing called White Dog. Yeah, there's a White Dog.

Speaker 2 Is that a Samuel Fuller movie, White Dog? Yeah. It's a late Fuller movie.
Yeah. Like 80s.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the

Speaker 2 best.

Speaker 2 stop. You're thinking of uh Sandlot,

Speaker 2 no,

Speaker 2 yeah, you're thinking of one where there's a big ass dog that's terrorizing people. Let's think, let's let's list the movies you've seen: Hercules, that's one,

Speaker 2 finding Nemo, Sandlot, Finding Nemo.

Speaker 3 I have seen those three, yes.

Speaker 2 Um, Aladdin,

Speaker 2 Aladdin, John Wicks, I have seen Aladdin, John Wick 2 and 3.

Speaker 3 I've seen the first one.

Speaker 2 No, um, I love that one, my favorite

Speaker 3 out of all those three. movies.

Speaker 3 Weapons one through three.

Speaker 2 30 minutes of one of the Jurassic Park movies.

Speaker 3 That's pretty accurate.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I have not seen Jurassic Park.

Speaker 3 Oh, you know what? I saw the one with Chris Pratt. I saw all of that one.

Speaker 2 You thought you saw Arrival. Stop Princess Bride?

Speaker 2 What? I haven't seen Princess Bride. Stop has seen Pride.

Speaker 3 I've seen Princess Bride.

Speaker 2 Hell yeah, of course.

Speaker 3 Pretty good. Shut the fuck up, of course, bitch.

Speaker 2 That's

Speaker 3 I'm sorry I don't go to www.whatmovies are fucking smart and will make people think I'm cultured.com and fucking look at every fucking one on the list.

Speaker 2 That's not a website.

Speaker 3 I'm going to struggle through them and pretend I'm enjoying them.

Speaker 2 It's true.

Speaker 3 I'm watching shit I like, not some fucking

Speaker 2 website.

Speaker 2 Hold on, hold on.

Speaker 2 The problem here is like, stop, you also haven't seen 98% of the shit that you would like. Yeah, that's true.
So the criticism is that you can say, oh, I only watch movies that I enjoy.

Speaker 2 It's like, no, you watch nothing.

Speaker 2 There's a million movies you would think. Have you seen French Connection?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 You would love it. You would love French Connection.
I would watch French Connection. You should watch it this afternoon.
Fuck. I might.

Speaker 2 Maybe we'll get a little, maybe we'll do like a Twitch or a Zoom or something and re-watch French Connection.

Speaker 3 I'll watch French Connection.

Speaker 2 You know what? You should get into like a 70s urban crime thing.

Speaker 2 That's

Speaker 2 really

Speaker 2 good Friday. French Connection, Long Good Friday, Day of the Jackal.

Speaker 2 Day of of the Jackal, Secret Partner, I think. It's an Altman movie with Elliot Gould, where he's like works at a bank and then he gets roped into this bank robbery.
That movie rocks.

Speaker 2 Long Goodbye, you should watch also. It's where it starts.
Stop said it, and then I reiterated that it was good that he said it. And now you're suggesting that he watches.

Speaker 2 You didn't like it. Wait, Long Goodbye? Oh, not The Long Goodbye.
The Long Goodbye. Long Good Friday.
No, The Long Goodbye. The Long Goodbye, I was like, I said 70s Altman and Elliot Gould.

Speaker 2 The Long goodbye is not

Speaker 2 that genre. Well, no, I mean, it is, but I don't like it.
I mean, everybody likes it.

Speaker 2 It's a

Speaker 2 neo-noir.

Speaker 3 The problem with movies from the 70s is that they're too fucking slow. Not a lot of shit happens.

Speaker 2 No, that's not a true 90.

Speaker 3 I like a nine.

Speaker 2 You ever see that? What is it? The Peter Boyle movie where he plays the

Speaker 2 he's like a guy that goes like crazy and kills a bunch. It's like in the same vein as like Death Wish.

Speaker 2 It's like Crazy Joe or something.

Speaker 2 I don't know. Here, let me see if we can find it.
The dad from Raymond? Yeah.

Speaker 3 I'm going to watch a bunch of John Carpenter movies now, though, because I'm.

Speaker 2 There's a movie about a big-ass dog, though.

Speaker 2 Beth. I swear to God.
Beta.

Speaker 3 No, it's like a horror movie, goddamn it. What's Christine about?

Speaker 2 It's a car?

Speaker 2 Isn't there a movie when someone's hiding from a dog in a car?

Speaker 2 Crazy Joe.

Speaker 2 Okay. That's another one.

Speaker 2 Mean Streets I haven't seen since I was like 15.

Speaker 3 I fuck with Mean Streets.

Speaker 2 I like that. I don't know if that's good.

Speaker 2 It's good.

Speaker 3 It's good in terms of like, you get to just watch young De Niro Young.

Speaker 2 You can see how it all started.

Speaker 3 You watch your boys that you love figuring it out. That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 And seeing Marty figure out how to use songs and scenes.

Speaker 3 And Marty's in it. I think he shoots someone or gets shot.

Speaker 2 I love when he's in movies.

Speaker 2 I love when he's in the movie. What are the taxi drivers? So sick.
Yeah. What are other seven movies stops and watch? Yeah, but there's some, there's like, there's like two or three that I'm missing.

Speaker 2 I like revenge, I like guns that are 70s, like 70s urban crime movies. I mean, you should watch all the Death Wish movies.
Deathwish.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I've seen Deathwish movies.

Speaker 2 What fuck?

Speaker 3 Let me see your penis.

Speaker 2 There's something I'm missing that's like, I know, is like,

Speaker 2 yeah, I don't know. How about just French

Speaker 2 French Connection and Day of the Jackal for sure, though? You know what Sean?

Speaker 3 In the chat, a bunch of people are saying a bunch of movies and we'll never know what they are.

Speaker 2 What do you mean? Oh, yeah, they're probably freaking out.

Speaker 3 They're going crazy to listen.

Speaker 2 These idiots.

Speaker 3 We'll never know what they are, bitch.

Speaker 3 Stop, I watch this.

Speaker 2 Stop, I watch this movie. I texted this right about it.

Speaker 2 Saint Jack, it's on Amazon. It's Ben Gaza is a pimp in Singapore.

Speaker 2 Linda tripped up.

Speaker 3 Oh, hell yeah. She did? Take that, you fucking snitch.

Speaker 2 Lioness.

Speaker 3 Rot in hell, you fucking whore.

Speaker 3 You pee monica, bro.

Speaker 2 She's been reincarnated as

Speaker 2 the boat that stops married today.

Speaker 3 No, then I'm out. Then it's not my wife anymore.
I want a divorce from the boat.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Here I am.

Speaker 2 I'm docking in the harbor. She's one of the most busted bitches.
I'm docking in the harbor to save everybody with her heart.

Speaker 3 What? She's a dumb.

Speaker 2 She's ugly from the inside out.

Speaker 3 From the inside out, bro.

Speaker 2 She ruined ruined a 20-year-old girl's life, yes, sir.

Speaker 3 And you know, in hindsight, she was the upper limit of what Bill Clinton wanted to fuck because he fucked kids.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Bill Clinton fucked some dogs.

Speaker 2 That's the funniest part about his shit is that he's going around raping and like cheating on his wife with just absolute threes and fours. He loves

Speaker 2 you're the president.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 imagine

Speaker 2 just being a daddy. And then he fucked Marilyn Monroe.
No, it was probably, he was probably like just going wild fucking kids, you know? And they're like, Bill,

Speaker 2 we need some cover for this. You're going to have to fuck a couple of adults.

Speaker 2 I guess I'll just pretend to be into trash pussy.

Speaker 3 You can't even tell who's a hot adult because he loves

Speaker 2 trash pussy.

Speaker 2 My cover is going to be that I love it.

Speaker 2 I can't stop raping the trashest trashest pussy I've ever seen.

Speaker 2 Hillary, I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 But I'm just addicted to trash pussy, Wink Wink.

Speaker 3 I know that, Bill.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Fucking bitch.

Speaker 2 Damn, dude. Yeah, French Connection is good.
You know what you should also watch?

Speaker 2 What I've been meaning to re-watch is that you ever see The Last Detail?

Speaker 2 All those

Speaker 2 early 70s Jack Nicholson movies are great. With the exception of Easy Rider, which sucks.

Speaker 2 I want to watch it. Remember, Nick, we tried to watch it.
Me and Adam tried watching Easy Rider, and it's fucking awful. It's so bad.

Speaker 2 I believe it. It's dog shit.
It's really bad.

Speaker 2 The only cool part is that Phil Spector has that weird cameo as a drug dealer at the airport. But besides that, it sucks.

Speaker 3 What did Phil Spector do? He killed and raped all shit.

Speaker 2 He did.

Speaker 2 He killed. Yeah, he started living an all-nocturnal life in a castle all alone.

Speaker 2 He went crazy and he killed. I I think she was a waitress or something.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 For real? Yeah.

Speaker 2 King of Marvin Gardens, Carnivores.

Speaker 2 I have that

Speaker 2 five Easy Pieces. Last Detail.

Speaker 3 Five Easy Penis.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Five Easy Penis. Last Detail.
I guess you could throw Terms of Endearment in there. You would love Terms of Endearment.
And the Shining scene. Terms of Endearment.
It's about breast cancer.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's like a very. Yeah.
I don't want that.

Speaker 2 Fuck it. It's about breast cancer.

Speaker 3 Yo, I don't want to see a single movie where titties are under assault.

Speaker 2 You know what I'm saying? It's too sad, dude. It's too sad.
Terms of Endearment is a great movie, dude. I know.
If you like up, you'll love Terms of Endearment.

Speaker 2 No, I don't.

Speaker 2 Terms of Endearment is up for adults.

Speaker 3 I don't want that. I want Up for Children.

Speaker 2 That's what you're addicted. Five minutes of being sad.

Speaker 2 That's what you're addicted.

Speaker 2 Yeah. That's good.
Good respect. That's good.
Thank you.

Speaker 3 Knocked that one out of the park without even really focus on a check swing.

Speaker 2 Yep.

Speaker 2 Oh, fuck.

Speaker 3 Yeah. I want to watch

Speaker 3 more John Carpenter. I want to watch The Thing next, probably.

Speaker 2 Yeah, The Thing. You know what? I said Christine's the best Carpenter movie, and I probably The Thing is the best John Carpenter movie.

Speaker 3 Yeah. But I swear to God, there is.
So what's Christine about? You're in a car. Some guy's a haunted car?

Speaker 2 It's like a high school kid, and he's a loser, and then he. And the actor looks exactly like Sean Gabbard, by the way.
Oh, that's weird. Which is weird.
And especially old Sean Gabbard, the one we

Speaker 2 like 15 years ago.

Speaker 2 Oh, fuck. Damn.
Somebody's got Rona. Oh, shit.
You know what? I'll be right back. You guys talk.

Speaker 2 My deliveries are here. Oh, yeah, dude.

Speaker 3 Respect.

Speaker 3 I wonder what Nick's getting. I wonder how many baby dick condoms only to be used for gay sex he got.

Speaker 2 Did you see that guy at the Amazon warehouse being like, a dildo is not an essential item?

Speaker 3 That guy rocks.

Speaker 2 That guy rules. Yeah.
That guy should replace Bernie as the leading voice of the left. I would vote for him.
I would vote for him before AOC.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 Before AOC?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I don't know. Oh, that's your Congresswoman.
I guess that's what I'm saying. That's my girl, dude.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah. That's Queens, dude.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 I'm just pissed at her because she stopped campaigning for Bernie because Joe Rogan endorsed him. Is that true? Yeah, it's the weakest shit I've ever heard.
That sucks, dude. Fuck her, dude.

Speaker 3 That's fucking littledickery.com, if you ask me.

Speaker 2 Joe Rogan is like a, I think,

Speaker 2 you know,

Speaker 2 on the whole, a pretty good guy. Rogan rocks.
Yeah, I think he's a good guy. Yeah.

Speaker 3 He's got dumbass friends, but

Speaker 2 he's a chill bloke. Who are you talking about? He's a chill-ass blow.
Arthur Rogan. Arthur Morgan? Brother of the pod, Joe Rogan, from Joe Rogan Experience.
Yeah, he's voting for Trump.

Speaker 2 I guess we're all going to vote for Trump now, like Joe Rogan.

Speaker 3 Yeah, if Rogan tells me to do it, I'm gonna do it.

Speaker 2 I'm wearing my hat, dude. Voting for Trump.
It's gonna fit the guy. The black hat.
Black hat. That's this is the new me now.

Speaker 3 I'm gonna vote in. I'm gonna vote for Ralph Nader, dude.

Speaker 2 Is he dead? Is he alive? Yeah, he's alive, dude. He's kicking.
That's good for him, dude. I feel like he's been old as shit forever.
He invented something.

Speaker 2 What's going on in the minds of Democrats? Like, do they think that Joe Biden is going to become president?

Speaker 2 I think they're maybe.

Speaker 2 Do they actually think that that's going to happen?

Speaker 3 The way they thought impeachment was going to work, they think this shit's going to work. They think it's just going to be easy.

Speaker 2 The hubris. The absolute hubris.
But I mean, like, motherfucker can't even talk. I know.
He can't talk, bro.

Speaker 3 They got his wife holding his fucking hand when he's on doing live streams. She's probably telling him what to say with Morse code or some fucking shit.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 His fucking brain is mush. Trump is going to wash him at the debates.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 And he's going to call him a rapist. That's going to be a

Speaker 3 a lot of people. Trump is going to call him a rapist.
Yeah. And Joe won't call him one back.
And no one will mention that Trump has raped.

Speaker 2 The only silver lining is the debates.

Speaker 2 I'm already fast forwarding to 2024 when Democrats are like, there's a term limit. He can't be president again.
And then it's like, then it's 2027. And it's like,

Speaker 2 no, we're going to do it. We're going to get those term limits removed or

Speaker 2 put back in place.

Speaker 3 They promised us, if we supported this constitutional amendment that they would give us a ceremonial statue for John McCain. Right.
And I think that was a fair trade-off.

Speaker 3 And we're going to win the fair way this time. Yeah.
We're fucked, dude.

Speaker 2 We're absolutely fucked. No, we passed a law that said that any black people that make less than $20,000 a year are legally allowed to be sold back into slavery to work directly for Jeff Bezos.

Speaker 2 And in exchange.

Speaker 2 And in exchange, they renamed the post office after the first trans woman to go to jail for rape.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 that's what the Democratic Party is. She was a trail, bro.

Speaker 3 It's a fair trade.

Speaker 2 It's a fair trade. That's called.

Speaker 3 It's called. I would love to see.
Go ahead, sorry.

Speaker 2 No, it's all right.

Speaker 3 It's over. What would you love to see?

Speaker 2 Sorry.

Speaker 3 I feel bad because you had the button on that, and I'm just going to say a factual, not funny thing. Oh, I know.
But

Speaker 3 it would be funny to see if any of these pundits will, if Trump literally tries to have a third term if they'll be if they'll try and stop it at all. Yeah.
Or if they'll just be like,

Speaker 2 no, they'll say they'll like they'll cry about it, but it doesn't mean that it's graceful.

Speaker 3 Yeah, dude,

Speaker 3 this is fucking wild.

Speaker 2 I mean, it's yet to be seen how long this thing goes on.

Speaker 2 Rona? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Right?

Speaker 2 I think the public opinion is turning on the government response, and it has to. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Apparently, the government knew about it in November, and they didn't do shit.

Speaker 2 Yeah, dude. Well,

Speaker 2 you know, I don't know. I mean, all the people that are saying, like, because Trump was polling at like 65% approval rating for how he's handled the crisis.

Speaker 3 When that $1,200 was supposed to drop in direct deposit, and then everybody realized it's like tax credits or some shit.

Speaker 2 No, we get, it's taxed, the $1,200. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Hilarious. Where's my $12, dude?

Speaker 2 I'm going to get one of those small business loans.

Speaker 2 Nice. For PlayStation 5.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Fuck yeah, dude.

Speaker 2 When does PlayStation 5 drop loans? Yeah, PlayStation 5 drop loans.

Speaker 3 I'm going to use it for hair plugs. My business is my appearance, dude.
I'm an entertainer. That's a small business loan for hair plugs.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 And a cock extension surgery.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I'm going to invest in some non-disclosure agreements that I should have had suck a long time ago.

Speaker 3 That's good, man. You should have those fucking ready to go.
Yep.

Speaker 3 By DMing Adam Friedland, you agree to never tell anyone anything.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 3 it should be an auto photo. Oh, you should have it.
You should have it incorporated to your website.

Speaker 2 Just, yeah, just like an auto reply. Yeah.
To every email. Even like business emails.

Speaker 2 I thought I was going to be done with the pod.

Speaker 2 I got an email from a soap company to see if I wanted to be an influencer. I was like, oh, it'd be funny if there was just 100,000 soap.

Speaker 2 I was offered 10 bars of soap

Speaker 2 for three swipe-up Instagram stories.

Speaker 2 It'd be funny if there was like soap companies and like candle companies and lampshade companies now. They're like, well, the world's ending.

Speaker 2 They're like, let's get ahead of the game and just contact Jews and see if they want to be sold into soap.

Speaker 2 I think that's a good thing. And then they're like, we'll give you $20,000.
You got a year. You have a year.

Speaker 2 $20,000 up front. You have a year

Speaker 2 before we holocaust you and turn you into soap. You're going to be holocausted holocausted, anyways.
Most likely,

Speaker 2 the world is going to end.

Speaker 2 It would be funny to see, just try that. Just email them, give them the option.
They're like, odds are there's going to be another holocaust, right?

Speaker 3 We're just

Speaker 2 within the next three or four years. So we'll give you the option now to be holocausted by us for a cash advance in exchange.
We get to be the ones to genocide.

Speaker 2 That's not a deal a Jew takes. And turn you into a solid solution.
That's a deal a Jew takes.

Speaker 2 What? Yeah, it's a Jew that owns that company, too. A Jew definitely owns a company.
Oh, a Jew who owns the company for sure.

Speaker 3 Yes, 100%.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Definitely a great idea, Ray. We're going to definitely genocide on.
We're not going to sell, but definitely. We're going to

Speaker 2 sell. We're going to sign up.
Definitely.

Speaker 3 Definitely. Going to do a Holocaust for money.
Definitely.

Speaker 2 Ray, are you telling me you're selling out your fellow Jews and retards as a business idea?

Speaker 2 That's the plan. That's the plan, Charlie.

Speaker 2 That's the plan. That's definitely the plan, Charlie.

Speaker 3 So, what's his name? Saban some? Yeah.

Speaker 2 A touch of Saban. I am Saban.

Speaker 3 Oh, he's an idiot? No, no, no. What's the character?

Speaker 2 Well, the character is Rain Man, but he's an idiot, Saban.

Speaker 3 Oh, an idiot, Saban. That's right.

Speaker 3 I was trying to remember.

Speaker 2 Damn.

Speaker 3 Today, baby, Wednesday, wing night.

Speaker 2 You getting wings? Or you have like fun little theme nights at at the house?

Speaker 3 It's the only thing that marks the passage of time.

Speaker 2 Wednesday is Wednesday night. Is when you boys.
Do you have food that's bad for you?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Well, we have to support local business.

Speaker 2 Tonight is Wing Stop. What business? Passover, boys.
Wing stop. Yeah, that's true.
Wing stop's disgusting.

Speaker 3 No, wing stop's good, dude.

Speaker 2 It used to be good, but maybe, you know what? It's probably another case of like going to fast food. New York City.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah. New York City fast food always takes a dive for sure.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Although the one in Queens is pretty good.

Speaker 2 Wing stop in Queens?

Speaker 3 The one by me. But I'm not going to wing stop.
I'm going to a local bar to support local business.

Speaker 2 Oh, you're going out. You're leaving.
You're breaking quarantine to go to a bar.

Speaker 3 I will not be, we will be ordering.

Speaker 2 Delivery.

Speaker 3 We will be, but we will be supporting local business.

Speaker 2 Damn, I would love some wings.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I've been dieting pretty hard. Oh, I am going to die.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's just crazy because I'm like doing home workouts, so I have to do more kind of like cardio-oriented shit rather than just lifting weights. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And it's crazy how fucking out of shape you can get.

Speaker 3 Oh, dude, I'm going to die.

Speaker 2 It comes back.

Speaker 2 I'm just like, this shit is kicking my ass. I fucking work out for like 30 minutes a day.
I get my heart rate pretty high. But afterwards, it's like my eyes are throbbing and I have to throw up.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I've been doing yoga every morning and just like stretching, I'm breathing heavily, dude.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Just like getting into a real stance and just like fucking putting all the weight in the leg and shit. Yeah,

Speaker 3 I was, I could, I can't believe the little working because I was hilariously going to the gym a lot and it was just to maintain how fat I was. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Like the second you take that away, I keep, I'm getting fatter and more out of shape.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, you know, you really should, especially because it's going to be a repeat of like when your foot was fucked up and you're just home, you know. Yeah.
You're forced to stay home.

Speaker 3 Once I'm not scared to go outside, because I am right now, the paranoia has hit me big time. Yeah.
I'll start doing a little fucking.

Speaker 3 I was doing walks and little fucking shit like that outside, like taking a fucking hour-long walk every day, but I'm fucking scared. I'm going to just die.

Speaker 2 Well, can you get like a fucking elliptical or something? Let's get a mask and gloves.

Speaker 3 I have a little bike that I ride. Yeah, just 20 minutes.
Do that then. But it hurts my knees.
It's a fucked up shitty bike.

Speaker 2 You should get like a

Speaker 2 Fitbit or an Apple Watch or something, or just like a heart rate monitor at least.

Speaker 2 And then try to get your heart rate up for like 20 minutes a day yeah yeah that's true into the what they call the danger zone that's what the danger zone that's what the doctors recommend is the people with uh pre-existing conditions elevate their heart rate into the danger zone because that's when fat when fat is in danger liquefies of being yeah being burned up danger of yeah going into your heart

Speaker 2 i love i love yeah just like elliptical machines and treadmills that have like the fat liquefier option or whatever And it's just for like fat people that have been tricked.

Speaker 2 And the fat people that use that setting once ever in their life be like, wow, I burned 15 calories.

Speaker 3 I'm doing a fat burning workout.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I went to the elliptical. I did the elliptical.

Speaker 2 I did a fat-burning workout. Yeah, well, I've been doing the fat-burning setting on the elliptical.

Speaker 2 Just how far away are you? I love an elliptical. Yeah, how far away are you? I love an elliptical.

Speaker 3 They're too big, though, for your fucking house, like good ones.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, I just do burpees.

Speaker 2 I mean, I do like a circuit kind of thing but burpees will your up yeah yeah yeah that's like cross the crossfit kind of burpees where you have to go all the way down and then jump up at the end

Speaker 3 yes yes yes yeah i'm gonna put a hole through my third third floor or fucking apartment yeah i was doing some jumping jacks it was just like doof doof yeah

Speaker 3 but maybe i'll go to the basement

Speaker 3 Go to the laundry room.

Speaker 3 Torqueout room.

Speaker 3 Get some pussy down there.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 I want to get pussy. You should try

Speaker 2 if you can do burpees without fucking up your joints. I mean, it would probably be hard on your wrists and elbows and shit.

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, my knees,

Speaker 2 I mean, it would fuck all your shit up, but they're saying they're like, they're really good for

Speaker 2 they'll get your heart rate up quick, and then because you have like an idea of how many you need to do in your head, it's not like fucking staring at like a treadmill counter, just waiting for 20 minutes to do this shit.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, so it makes it easier to like

Speaker 3 just

Speaker 3 look how good my titties are.

Speaker 2 They're coming in nice. Yeah, and you've shaved part of them.
That's cool.

Speaker 2 Did you? That's a good look. No.

Speaker 3 This is how my body hair looks. I don't know what to tell you.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Getting pussy from a man.

Speaker 2 Getting a man's pussy. All right.
I've just been doing mad pull-ups and push-ups. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But you weigh 10 pounds and you're weak.

Speaker 2 So what am I supposed to do?

Speaker 2 I can't.

Speaker 2 Dude, I'm cutting and then bulking. I'm just discouraging you.

Speaker 3 I'm bulking right now. That's my thing.
I'm bulking.

Speaker 2 Bulking and then cut. Cut.
Or when do you cut?

Speaker 3 Quarantine's over. I'm going to cut.

Speaker 2 Yeah, sounds bulking. Adam,

Speaker 2 you should get rid of all those books and turn that room into like a home gym.

Speaker 2 I have an elliptical here, and then I have a pull-up bar.

Speaker 2 I've considered getting a squat rack for my apartment.

Speaker 3 You just should.

Speaker 2 Where do you caps out put a squat rack? I mean, I could put it in my office. I could put it right fucking here.
I could put it next to this thing. It's just,

Speaker 2 I would barely have room. I mean, this room is only like

Speaker 2 small. Yeah, seven feet wide, maybe.
I don't know if there would be room to put a barbell in here or not. I don't know how

Speaker 2 I don't know a barbell is, but that seems like it's pushing it. Yeah, it's close.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I wish I had an elliptical. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Having like a bench, a bench and a squad rack in the apartment. And then, but of course, what would happen is the quarantine ends the next day, and then I'm just a fucking retard with

Speaker 2 like a home gym.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah, probably. Although, you know what, man, don't act like you'd be mad about that.

Speaker 2 Well, I would, because it's like you can't drop the weight.

Speaker 2 Do resistance bands work?

Speaker 2 I don't know. Racine got them, and they seem like bullshit.
I mean, like they're... They seem like bullshit.
They make sense if you, like, add them to a barbell, but because it's like...

Speaker 2 They're self-regulating. So

Speaker 2 if you're lazy, if you're not looking to push yourself anyways, then what the fuck good is a resistance band? Because, depending on, like, where you hold it

Speaker 2 changes the level of resistance.

Speaker 3 You could, yeah.

Speaker 3 I would like to do one to fucking get your stroke up. You put one around your waist while you fucking air hump.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 That's the other thing, dude.

Speaker 3 My fucking skills are going to completely deteriorate.

Speaker 3 I'm going to be so out of shape.

Speaker 2 Damn, and

Speaker 2 you were so good at fucking before this. Dude, who's that? So good.

Speaker 3 I was fucking fucking world-renowned, bro.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 3 pussy eating for sure is going to be an issue, dude, because

Speaker 3 I was trying to get

Speaker 3 the fucking finger popping move. I was trying to figure that out.
Like, really get my.

Speaker 2 What, at home alone during the barn?

Speaker 3 No, just eating pussy a lot. Really getting in there.
But now it's like I haven't eaten pussy. I won't have eaten pussy in months.

Speaker 2 Oh, dude, it's like riding a bike. You'll be able to get it.

Speaker 3 No, but your strength. I have a bad shoulder.

Speaker 2 Well, he doesn't know how to get there. He can't ride a bike either.

Speaker 3 I can ride a bike. Thank you very much.

Speaker 2 it's like riding a bike eventually you'll lose the ability to do it because you're too fat

Speaker 3 eventually you'll need a motorized version of it to get around it's just like riding a bike

Speaker 2 all right anyway fuck all right boys all right happy passover oh yeah dude happy this is when you motherfuckers this is when you motherfuckers started your treachery maybe we can do a beginning because you're pro-Egypt, huh?

Speaker 2 You're pro-Pharaoh?

Speaker 3 No, why did fucking why did Jesus come into fucking

Speaker 3 Jerusalem? What was he coming in for?

Speaker 2 Pussy.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I don't know.
Or something. I wasn't there, dude.
I didn't see it.

Speaker 3 It's definitely. That's why it's all around the same time.

Speaker 2 Easter and Passover? Yeah, dude.

Speaker 3 Because he comes in because he's a Jew and he's celebrating Passover. And then you guys got mad.
He was getting more fucking burned than you.

Speaker 3 Everyone's was like, this guy rocks. And then this guy was so much better than the old Jews.

Speaker 2 And then the Romans independently decided, without any influence, to crucify him.

Speaker 3 Yeah, right, dude. Pontius Pilate was nothing but fucking, he was Pinocchio, and you motherfuckers were Geppetto.

Speaker 2 Yeah, because definitely they were listening to Jews back then.

Speaker 3 There's so much.

Speaker 2 That's what they want you to think.

Speaker 3 They've wrote it back. They've gone in and wrote it back.

Speaker 3 Anyway, we don't have to get into all this theology.

Speaker 2 All this history. I miss you guys.
Maybe we do a Zoom birthday party, the three of us. Whose birthday is it? It's my birthday.

Speaker 3 Yeah, my dick's in December, mine's in February.

Speaker 2 Yeah, nobody's birthday is coming up. All right, later.

Speaker 2 Anyway, see you guys later.