2025 NFL Teams as Classic Action Movies, With Kyle Brandt and Joe House

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The Bill Simmons podcast is presented by the Ringer.

Speaker 1 Podcast Network, where you can find a new episode of the Rewatchables coming on Monday night. We did Witness.
It was me and Mallory Rubin. It is the 399th movie that we've done on the Rewatchables.

Speaker 1 It was a really fun one. We had a couple pods that are launching and relaunching.
We launched last week The Ringer Tailgate, a college football podcast with Tate Frazier, Van Lathan, Joe Anderson.

Speaker 1 First ones up. They're going to be going live after the late college football games on Saturday.
So around 4 p.m. Pacific time.

Speaker 1 I thought the first episode was really, really good. I was excited about it.
Did you listen to any of it, House? I haven't had a chance to yet, but I'm excited for college football season.

Speaker 1 So those guys guiding the way is it's excellent. So check that out.
That's going to be on YouTube as well. But if you like college football,

Speaker 1 we've been doing this since the Grand Land days. I feel like we finally cracked the code with one of these.
And we also have Todd McShay.

Speaker 1 He's going to be, you know, we've had his podcast now for almost the last year, but we had that. So I feel like we're finally in a good place for college football.

Speaker 1 We're also going to be doing some of that on the revamped Ringer Gambling Show, which relaunches on Monday with some new lineups.

Speaker 1 And the gimmick for that this year is we're gonna be going noon ET live every day, like a TV show.

Speaker 1 And we felt like that was like the best possible time to do the show because you could go backwards, but it's also just enough time to talk about that night's games if it's on a Thursday.

Speaker 1 And on that YouTube channel, we'll be doing a lot of like shorts and picks where some of the stuff like that that maybe we don't even get to on a pod for a week, but even Premier League, some golf stuff, baseball as we get into the playoffs.

Speaker 1 So we're really going to try to go all out on the gambling thing, but it's going to be concerted Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, noon E.T. live on YouTube.

Speaker 1 And then Shil Capadia relaunched the Ringer NFL show. Awesome.
So that's our third one. And that's been going every day.
And I thought he had a great first week. Can't wait to go on.

Speaker 1 that podcast as well. So coming up on this podcast, I had to try a crazy gimmick because we don't have cousin Sal.

Speaker 1 We're doing the over-unders later this week, the annual over-unders podcast. Brought Kyle Brand in.
We decided to rank the AFC teams and the NFC teams and do

Speaker 1 action movies. And I'll explain it after we do the break and then Pearl Jam.
But it's a gimmick that I wasn't positive going to be worked, but I had a great time.

Speaker 1 It went a half hour longer than I thought it would.

Speaker 1 And we dedicated to Tommy Fleetwood, who finally got off the shine today. Congrats to him.
Anyway, taking taking a break, Pearl Jam, Joe House, Kyle Brandt, next.

Speaker 1 All right, we are taping this a little after three o'clock Pacific time on Sunday. House and I are on a high because our guy Tommy Fleetwood finally pulled it off Kyle Brandt.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 He finally won a PGA tournament. Not just any, though.
The Tor championship, 10 million bucks. Yeah, he kept falling out.

Speaker 1 It was the equivalent of if Josh Allen had just kept losing playoff games, but also

Speaker 1 they were his fault every time.

Speaker 1 And then he finally won the Super Bowl, which maybe that will happen this year. Your guy, Josh Allen.

Speaker 1 So Kyle Brand's here. Joe House is here.
And we have an absolutely ridiculous gimmick that I'm not even sure the two of you fully understand. Definitely don't.
But we're plowing ahead anyway.

Speaker 1 I sent you the text, Kyle Brandt, and I said, we're going to rank the 16 teams in the AFC and the 16 teams in the NFC. We're going to go from one to 16.
And we're going to assign an action movie.

Speaker 1 from our wheelhouse era of 1984 to 1996 and an action movie that fits the profile for each team. It wasn't even coherent when I sent it to you.
You immediately understood because that's what we have.

Speaker 2 I was at the gym. It was one of those where, like, I'm texting while I'm at the gym like an asshole, and I see something.

Speaker 2 Bill concocts some kind of like Long Island iced tea of football and 80s movies. I'm like, I don't know what the fuck this is.

Speaker 1 Yeah, sure. I don't know.
I don't follow it.

Speaker 2 I still don't follow it, but it sounds fun and I want to drink it. So let's do it.

Speaker 1 It's literally the most Bill Simmons thing ever. Like, you know, it's here.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 the problem for Kyle Brayton and I is there's some action movies that we're probably never going to do on the rewatchables because they might not even be that rewatchable.

Speaker 1 So it's an excuse both to hit a couple plus go backwards at movies we've already covered and just try to thread the needle as much as possible.

Speaker 2 Let's just say, Bill, I got a fastball coming from my KB secret pick choice. I got one coming that we have never covered.

Speaker 2 And I don't think we're allowed to cover on the rewatchables, but we may cover it today.

Speaker 1 I can't wait.

Speaker 1 So what we're going to do.

Speaker 1 We are going to go AFC and then NFC. And Kyle's going to get first pick.
I get second pick. House gets third pick.
And we're going to go basically two trios, first six teams.

Speaker 1 Then Kyle and I have seven and eight. Then we go back and we'll finish the thing.
And when House is up, because House doesn't know these movies as well as us,

Speaker 1 he's going to give us the profile of what we're thinking.

Speaker 1 We're going to be standing at the dinner table next to him in our sommaye outfits. And he's going to be like,

Speaker 1 I need an action movie for the Houston Texans.

Speaker 1 It's kind of a one-man show. I don't really have high expectations expectations for them, but I think they'll be entertaining.
And then we will somai with them and figure it out.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we're like, sir, you want an estate Cabernet, something from the Segal Vineyards with some good legs.

Speaker 2 We got you covered, House.

Speaker 1 I'm so excited for this.

Speaker 2 My question, Bill, is like,

Speaker 2 if I give my AFC team with whoever is number one and I assign a movie to it, then that movie is off limits, like it's taken, it's done.

Speaker 1 Movie's off the board. That's why

Speaker 1 it's much like eating with House. It's not competitive.

Speaker 1 We're not trying to win. Nobody's going to leave.
But once it's off the table, it's gone. Once off the table, it's off the table.
But we're all eating. We're all sharing.
Yeah, we're all eating.

Speaker 1 It's not a zero-sum game.

Speaker 1 We're trying to win.

Speaker 1 So here's what we did because we're going to do the AFC and the NFC, but I sent you four divisions of movies. And

Speaker 1 I mean, these divisions are incredible.

Speaker 1 Just for the record. The Stallone division, obviously, he was going to get one.
So that's eight movies.

Speaker 1 That is Over the Top, Cobra, Cliffhanger, First Blood, rocky four tangon cash demolition man and rambo first blood part two was there a stallone movie you felt like was missing is there a case you want to make for anything i left off daylight i just love bill when you sit down to type out the over the stallone division your first two are over the top in cobra that just tells everything about you all the movies he's done those are the first two on the menu well that's great and you yeah oh yeah obviously cobra has to be on here and for me over the top and it had there's good football parallels there are a couple of good teams for that.

Speaker 2 Like, House, Rocky is allegedly the best sports movie of all time. Like, I like Cobra way more than Rocky.
Just so you know where I'm coming from.

Speaker 1 I've listened to some of the pods with you guys. I get it.
Okay, good.

Speaker 1 And so, Rocky 4 is technically a sports movie, but for us, it's also an action movie.

Speaker 2 Sure.

Speaker 1 He's taking on, you know, not just Drago, who's fueled by steroids, but he's also

Speaker 1 ending the Cold War. There's real stakes.

Speaker 1 So we have that. Anyway, that's the Stallone division.
Schwarzenegger gets his own division.

Speaker 1 And what's great about Schwarzenegger is there could have been three more movies in here, but we got Predator, The Terminator, Total Recall, True Lies, Commando, The Running Man, Last Action Hero, and Kindergarten Cop, a movie that Kyle Brandt tosses my way on text every once in a while, just to make sure he knows, that I know that he knows, that he's ready for it.

Speaker 2 I watched it with my son recently.

Speaker 2 Very strange storyline about domestic violence in the middle of the movie. I have no idea where that's coming from, but it's all there.
We'll get to kindergarten cop house.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 And then Steven Seagal and Jean-Claude Van Damme

Speaker 1 together. Van Damme.
I'm just going to say Van Dam Van Damme over and over again.

Speaker 1 Neither of them really had enough movies for their own division, but what they did is they each had four great movies to share a division.

Speaker 1 So we did Out for Justice, Above the Law, Under Siege, Mark for Death. The only Seagal movie Kyle and I have not done on the Rewatchables.
Those are the four Seagals.

Speaker 1 Bloodsport, Sudden Death, Kickbox, or Double Impact. So House, when you're making one of your picks,

Speaker 1 maybe Kyle just thinks about it and goes, it feels like you're leaning towards something in the Jean-Claude

Speaker 1 vintage.

Speaker 1 Maybe a kickboxer.

Speaker 1 So, that's that division. Wildcard division, that's the last one.
Toy Soldiers, Point Break, Action Jackson, Passenger 57, and Roadhouse.

Speaker 1 And then we each get a random, you don't know what the movie is, pick.

Speaker 1 So people are going to hear this and go, well, wait wait a second. This is, you're doing the apex of all these movies, but there's some stuff missing.
So what happened?

Speaker 1 Well, I made Die Hard ineligible. It's too good.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's in a different draft.
It's in like the best movies of the day's draft. Speed is ineligible, the fugitive, Terminator 2, Lethal Weapon 1 and 2.
They're just too elevated.

Speaker 1 They don't want to be swimming in these pools. You okay with that, Kyle?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, listen, it's, I struggled with a team. I'm not even going to say it.
I struggled with a team that is so good in the NFL right now.

Speaker 2 I thought it deserves something like one of the taboos like Terminator 2, but we'll have to fit something with it.

Speaker 1 You have a random pick. You might be able to do it.

Speaker 2 I do. But my random pick is a shitty movie, and that's the one I'm going for.

Speaker 1 I'm not surprised at all.

Speaker 1 The funny thing for me is Toy Soldier was just an Toy Soldiers was an automatic. We did it on the Rewatchables, I think, two years ago.

Speaker 1 I love it. I have a perfect team for it.
I hope it survives until we get to our team. Anyway, AFC.

Speaker 1 So this is it. The movie comes off the table.
The team comes off the table. Okay.

Speaker 1 Kyle Brandt, first pick, AFC, who is your one seed? The season ends 18 weeks from now or 19 weeks, but 18 weeks.

Speaker 1 Who is the number one seed in the AFC?

Speaker 2 The number one seed, I'm going to go with the Kansas City Chiefs. I'm going to go with the Chiefs.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And listen, I'm not going to mess around here. I'm going to go with Rocky IV.

Speaker 2 We are deep into the franchise now. We're already in the fourth movie.
It should be getting shitty by now, but it's not.

Speaker 2 And it's an incredible testament to them that the fourth movie is arguably the best one. You have Mahomes as Drago, this like unstoppable force in the AFC who wins it nearly every year.

Speaker 2 And the Kelsey piece, Kelsey, I see House as this like kind of old, aged, lovable wingman.

Speaker 2 Kelsey is Paulie, which if anyone's wondering, would then make Taylor Pauly's robot, which is the best part in the whole movie.

Speaker 1 So I have Rocky Four and the Chiefs number one.

Speaker 1 Here we go. That's unbelievable.
That was up and running. That's it.

Speaker 1 When there's another movie that when it pops up, I'm going to explain why that was my Chiefs pick. But I love the Rocky IV thing.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like the franchise that we're really going to do this again. It's all the same characters, same narratives, but holy shit, I'm enjoying myself.

Speaker 1 Housewear, do you have Kansas City winning the AFC West?

Speaker 1 Yes, I do have him winning the AFC West. And I've seen Kyle does.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Bill, my question for you quickly about Kansas City is like,

Speaker 2 are you seeing sense memories with the Chiefs now that you had with the patriots like i i'm at the place where i'm kind of getting bored of the chiefs yeah like i don't think they're terribly interesting but they're just because they're so good and i'm a lot of the same feelings are coming up from the middle of the pats run

Speaker 1 first of all thank you yeah because i we always like when the pats get uh organically brought up into the pod oh brent you don't have to that was awesome really it wasn't a suck up it was a legitimate suck up at this stage of of the podcasting between the two of you you can tell it like it is kyle Brant.

Speaker 2 Well, listen, if you think I'm sucking up to the Patriots, wait till you hear the movie I compare them to. So that's not going to happen.

Speaker 1 Good. I think people didn't like the Patriots, and I still feel like people, most people like the Chiefs is my take.

Speaker 1 Maybe I'm missing it completely, but I still feel like if you're talking about the seesaw of I hate those guys versus I like those guys, it still feels like they're in the I like the guys.

Speaker 1 camp. You disagree or no?

Speaker 2 The officiating thing was tough. The turn off the Taylor thing was tough.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 But listen, the Patriots had sex and drugs and murder and gates and all this shit to keep us entertained and talked about. The Chiefs are just like, yeah, Mahomes is great and Reid is pretty cool.

Speaker 2 So it's this different kind of sizzle.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the Chiefs had, you know, some pretty unseemly stuff themselves, but they were never with the main characters. We had like Spygate

Speaker 1 week one, 2007. We had the Flakegate right in the playoffs.
We had the Hernandez thing, which was the craziest football story. So, and then people hate Belichick.
The media hated Belichick.

Speaker 1 Everyone hated Belichick. I don't think people hate Andy Reid like that.

Speaker 2 Nobody hates Andy Reid.

Speaker 1 Nobody hates Andy Reid. Plus, we're only like halfway through the Patriots run now with the Chiefs, essentially, right? True.

Speaker 1 I'm up now.

Speaker 2 Go on.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I did not have Kansas City as my one seed. Nor did I.
I had the Bills of Buffalo as my one seed. Wow.

Speaker 1 This is unbelievable. We should mention I'm doing

Speaker 1 four hours of content with the Cuz where we're doing all of our over-under picks and futures and everything on Thursday. I reserve the right to change my mind over the next four days.
I get it.

Speaker 1 So do I. Right now,

Speaker 1 right now,

Speaker 1 I'm leaning toward kind of going all in on the Bill's story and all the pieces and Josh and the whole thing. So my movie is going to be Cliffhanger.

Speaker 1 Sliced alone, 1993.

Speaker 1 The run's kind of the run's kind of over for him. Yeah.
He has this amazing 80s. Arnold has come in and cleaned his clock.
And we've talked about this on rewatchables multiple times.

Speaker 1 Arnold comes in and he's just like, here's Total Recall. Here's kindergarten cop.
Here's Terminator 2. He's just like, he's pummeling him a lot like Rocky

Speaker 1 in the first couple rounds of Rocky 4. Stallone's just getting the shit kicked out of him.
And people kind of give up on Stallone a little bit.

Speaker 1 And then Cliffhanger happens and he gets us to come to the theater right before, it's like right around Memorial day um may 1993 yep and he's back he looks great the movie looks awesome he's

Speaker 1 he's just playing all the hits and uh and we leave the movie and we're like stallone's back

Speaker 1 i think that i'm gonna feel that way about buffalo at the end like all the stuff all the tough losses and the close and this and that and i just feel like I feel like this is going to be their Cliffhanger season.

Speaker 1 Plus, literally, it's a Cliffhanger cup, right? That's my case.

Speaker 2 I think there's also a lot of things that just piss people off about the Bills. They leave you frustrated a lot.

Speaker 2 And as we know, Michael Rooker spends this entire movie just kind of pissed off for really weird reasons that don't make sense.

Speaker 2 Like at the beginning scene, he's mad, even though he brought the girlfriend up there and she died, but he blames.

Speaker 2 There's a lot of blame that goes around with Buffalo when they don't pan out or they can't beat the Chiefs again. So I think there's a symmetry there too.

Speaker 1 Misplaced anger, blame, resentment. Yeah, so Cliffhanger starts house.
Michael Rooker takes his girlfriend up on a mountain and they're hiking and it gets fucked up. They have to be rescued.

Speaker 1 And finally, they're on a zipline and she barely knows how to hike and starts to lose it on the zip line. And Stallone tries to be the hero.

Speaker 1 Like she's going to fall, climbs on the zipline to save her. And she ends up falling to her death.
And Rooker's pissed off about it. Hmm.
It was like, what about you, buddy? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Who took her up there? She shook her head there. That's right.
So anyway, and he's mad at Stallone the whole movie. All right.

Speaker 2 She's like, she had Bill's fans being mad at Dalton Kincaid at the end of the title game for dropping that pass like was that really what it was about it's a little bit misplaced so bill i think it's a great pick and we're two teams in i i feel the same way you do i'm like oh i had a good one for cliffhanger or i had a good one for buffalo so we'll have to get to him somehow yeah yeah yeah well i think we're off to a good start and it's a relatively coherent gimmick and i'm pleased with it but now this is the part where it gets scary because joe house is up well hey come on house

Speaker 1 this is the third team in the afc um and it turns out that this is my favorite team in the AFC, and the team that I think is going to land the one seed, and the team that I've already bet to win the Super Bowl this year, and that's the Baltimore Ravens.

Speaker 1 Awesome! I think the Ravens are lined up for an incredible season. A reminder to everybody, they started off last year eight and five, and they had bad losses.
A couple dumb losses.

Speaker 1 They had likely lost. Yeah, there was a couple bad ones.
And then they reeled off four straight wins and came into the playoffs, you know, in as good a position as anybody.

Speaker 1 And once again, snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. And it wasn't Lamar Jackson.
Reminder to everybody that in that game against Buffalo, there was a couple key turnovers.

Speaker 1 And Mark Andrews, you know, was the GOAT.

Speaker 1 And I don't mean, you know, greatest of all time.

Speaker 1 This Baltimore team, what they did in the offseason, once again, they reload on the defensive side. I think that they found a defensive identity last year in that run at the end of the season.

Speaker 1 I just think that they are ready to go on a tear. And so I'm in between two movies.

Speaker 1 On the one hand, I love the idea of Terminator because Lamar Jackson last year had an MVP season.

Speaker 1 I don't see anything in terms of this offense that will take me off of Lamar Jackson in that direction. Then the other one,

Speaker 1 if we're going to go in that direction, is First Blood 2, Rambo.

Speaker 1 Those were the two where I was. First Blood 2.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What would be the case for First Blood 2 with the Ravens? I'm trying to just like. Well, you didn't give me First Blood.
Oh, you did give me First Blood. Sure.
You could do First Blood if you want.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, I meant First Blood then. You put both movies in.
Okay, I see. I remember First Blood.
So you don't want to put Action Jackson here.

Speaker 1 Oh, well, that's the layout.

Speaker 2 Guys, mind if I butt in, Bill? I got Action Jackson written down for the Ravens. It's fucking awesome.
God damn it.

Speaker 1 I love it. I got Action.

Speaker 1 Done.

Speaker 1 If the somayas can help you here.

Speaker 1 I agree. I love it.
Thank you. We have a vintage bottle of Action Jackson.
He's literally the action Jackson.

Speaker 2 It really is.

Speaker 2 Are you interested in a movie house where at one point, Carl Weathers throws a guy out of a window so hard that he goes through the window and into the window of the building next to him?

Speaker 1 It's never been done before. That's the bottom of the shit.

Speaker 1 Saint Action Jackson, you guys. Thank you.
Also,

Speaker 1 I don't want to say this was the movie I fell in love with Sharon Stone in because

Speaker 1 it had already happened five years earlier.

Speaker 1 But she's throwing 119 miles an hour in this movie. Also,

Speaker 1 have we talked about this, Kyle?

Speaker 1 The fact that they weren't three or four of these is enraging.

Speaker 2 I don't know why. Well, that brings me to the point about the Ravens, Bill.
Carl Weathers never really became the man.

Speaker 2 Like, he never became, he was always the guy in Predator, or he was always Apollo, or he was always Chubs. He never got over that.
Is that Lamar? Does he never win the Super Bowl? No,

Speaker 1 beloved, respected, and yet he was. Love him.
I mean, honestly, honestly, some MVPs, there's a real Rocky III MVP case for Carl Weathers that I could have thrown in.

Speaker 1 But yeah, I just felt like I loved Action Jackson.

Speaker 1 I don't think we've done it yet on the rewatchables. It's one of the ones we're saving.
Oh. And I don't know why there wasn't four of them.

Speaker 1 I mean, we actually know why there wasn't four of them because Hollywood was super racist back then. And all they wanted to do was

Speaker 1 get the white dudes. So it's really only Snipes has a couple movies and the one Carl Weathers, and that's it.

Speaker 2 Well, on the topic of being exclusionary, I love that House gave two totally viable suggestions. Bill and I are like, nah, fuck that.

Speaker 1 Action Jackson. You're action Jackson.
You're like the dick waiters. It was the right answer, though.

Speaker 1 I love the dick waiters. I love dicks in all of those walks of life, like a dick caddy.
I always love the guys that are ready, you know, the asshole at the counter, the soup Nazi. That appeals to me.

Speaker 1 That's a challenge. Having worked in the service industry for a couple of years there, I always thought people respected when you gave them the truth.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 When they give you a choice, and they're like, I was thinking about either getting the chicken or the cheeseburger, what would you get? And I'd be like, I'd get neither.

Speaker 1 Our skirt steak is phenomenal. Yeah, and they'll sugarcoat it.
Just tell the tell the truth.

Speaker 2 I was recently in Vegas and I ordered a tequila. And I'm not, it's the name, it's the George Clooney's tequila.

Speaker 2 The barton looked at me and goes, Would you mind if I gave you something else that's way better and cheaper? And I was like, Awesome, man. Yeah, do it.
And he gave it to me.

Speaker 2 And I had so much respect for him.

Speaker 1 That just happened with Action Jackson. The balls.
There we go.

Speaker 1 There we go. all right so off the board interesting interesting wrinkle i gotta say the gimmick's working great we all had different one seeds i would not have guessed so kyle had kansas city yep

Speaker 1 i had buffalo and house had baltimore and it was going to be in some order those three

Speaker 1 i this is where i was really excited to see where the draft was going to go yeah uh the four spot

Speaker 1 because

Speaker 1 Well, I'll tell you later. Who do you have for the four spot?

Speaker 2 All right. So this is my first shock and awe.

Speaker 2 In the fourth spot, gentlemen, I have the L.A. Chargers.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Wow. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Let me scroll down. They're not in my fourth spot.
Hold on. All right.
There they are. Gotcha.
Okay.

Speaker 2 And my movie comp for the L.A. Chargers is total recall.
You have... In both cases, a wild man director.
You got Harbaugh, you got Bearhoven, you got Harbhoven, okay?

Speaker 2 You got a great lead in Herbert, but like in Charger, for the Chargers' house, like weird shit always happens.

Speaker 2 You have your quarterback who throws like no picks all year, and then he throws like 12 in one game, in one playoff game. With Verhoban, it's like, we're going through a science fiction movie.

Speaker 2 This is fine. Everyone looks normal.
And there's a three-breasted woman out of nowhere. For no reason.
My God, Verhoban's fucking crazy. For no reason.

Speaker 2 Lastly, there's always the sense of with the Chargers, like. Their past is repeating itself and haunting us.
And I'm having recall of I'm living a different life.

Speaker 2 And it's like, it just seems to gel up. Chargers, total recall.

Speaker 1 So it's funny. I had total recall for the Chiefs.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 no, but this is better. You made a way better case because mine was like, Mahomes,

Speaker 1 you're pretty ordinary last year. You were just a construction worker working nine to five and coming home and you threw for 3,900 yards.
And

Speaker 1 you, you know, you guys, you didn't have a top five offense. And then in this, in the playoffs, you weren't that great.
In the Super Bowl, you got your ass kicked. Yep.

Speaker 1 You realize you're a guy that everyone thinks is the key to Mars. That's in there.
Is that coming back? But I think this is way better.

Speaker 1 Well, ironically.

Speaker 2 I think the Chargers, like, I have them in the divisional round losing. So that would mean they're in the playoffs for how long? Two weeks.

Speaker 1 Two weeks.

Speaker 2 It's all there.

Speaker 1 How else would you think? It's a total recall. I love it.
I think it's tremendous. So

Speaker 1 we've already done this movie in the rewatchables. Otherwise, I don't think you were on it.

Speaker 2 No, I know Van was on it and probably CR. I don't remember, though.

Speaker 1 I just watched it from start to finish. Oh, yeah.
A week and a half ago. Wow.

Speaker 1 And I couldn't believe how good it was. Even though we had already dissected it, exacted every amount of content we could have gotten start to finish.

Speaker 1 I was just like, God damn, they really knew how to make movies back then.

Speaker 1 There's not a wasted split second in that movie. It just goes.
And it's got, and there's just these different premises and different locations.

Speaker 1 And these every time you think they've run out of characters, there's another one. The three-breasted ladies there, we have shootouts.
All of a sudden, we're in this weird nightclub.

Speaker 1 It's just a tour de force, and the ending's unbelievable.

Speaker 2 I know.

Speaker 1 And I still don't know if he dreamed it or not.

Speaker 1 What was your take? Did he dream it?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, it's like inception with the top spinning.

Speaker 2 I like to think he dreamed it because it was just so cool, and everything was so fun, and he wins in the end. And I like to think he dreamed it.

Speaker 1 So the

Speaker 1 reason you would think he dreamed it is they ask him to find a girl, and he picks the the girl when they're when they're trying to do his choose your adventure.

Speaker 1 It's the exact

Speaker 1 it's the exact girl that's the girl in the movie, right? So it's like, okay, so but on the other hand, um,

Speaker 1 I don't know, maybe he didn't dream it. Maybe he really did save Mars.
Who knows?

Speaker 2 What's really fun about Total Recall for a beginner is it leads the league in Arnold Schwarzenegger yelling and grunting like that.

Speaker 2 He does it more in Total Recall than any other Arnold movie. So if you like that, that's your movie.

Speaker 1 So ironically, my wife was in the background, like getting ready and walking in and out and stuff. And at one point, she says to me, is this just an entire movie of people grunting and screaming?

Speaker 1 And I was like, yeah, you nailed it. Pretty much.
That should have been in the Ebert review.

Speaker 2 That's being a Chargers fan.

Speaker 1 Well, let's talk about the Chargers really quick. I'm down on them.

Speaker 1 And I have four days to talk myself out of it. I thought the Slater injury was a terrible moment.
Trying to figure out.

Speaker 1 And I know, like, out of all the teams in the league, to be able to at least move Joe Walt over is probably a better better solution than anyone else would have.

Speaker 1 But I just, when you lose a guy like that before the season starts, when is that not a terrible omen? Yeah. And I didn't love what they did with this receiver room.

Speaker 1 I mean, at some point, these Herbert seasons, you have to like capitalize on it and use it to push you. They have guys they're all excited about, but it feels like preseason.

Speaker 1 I know poor Kyle's doing three hours of content a day trying to like talk about fourth and fifth receivers.

Speaker 2 No, but my deal is like I've learned over the years, especially with playoff picks, just go with coaches. Yeah, like cover the roster, pick Mike Tomlin to make the playoffs, pick Sean McVay.

Speaker 2 And I know Harbaugh's new here, but I don't care. I think he's a top five coach in the league.
He's crazy, like in the best way, but like I know they got an offensive tackle injury. It sucks.

Speaker 2 It happens. Other teams will too.
I just trust Harbaugh. I do.

Speaker 1 Always. The case against them is last year's schedule

Speaker 1 was so favorable for them. But then the games where they had to play good teams, they just didn't score.

Speaker 1 I mean, you're talking like 10, 12, 14 point range for five. Then in the playoff game, they completely fell apart.
I had a different AFC West team

Speaker 1 that I'm about to take.

Speaker 1 I really admire that pick, by the way.

Speaker 1 It's a team that I had in the

Speaker 1 three spot because I think they're going to win the AFC West, but I don't think it's the Chargers.

Speaker 1 I have the Denver Broncos right here. Denver.
Okay, talk about it.

Speaker 1 Interesting.

Speaker 1 I just like every, hey, I've talked about them five different times in the pod. It just feels like they have a ton of talent.
They know who they are. You're a great coach, Theory.

Speaker 1 The Denver versus KC thing has been kind of quietly really good here for since the 1990s.

Speaker 1 The Casey piece of it, where,

Speaker 1 you know, they're still trying to figure out some of the stuff with their offensive line, especially the middle.

Speaker 1 The Rashi Rice thing just kind of hanging over the season like an anvil.

Speaker 1 when does that suspension kick in it doesn't seem like they're totally psyched with their running game i just i have just as many questions about kc than in denver and i'm just like it i really like this denver team i'm gonna ride with them so my movie

Speaker 1 is predator okay let's go somebody's got to take it because uh for a variety of reasons but this is more like less of a match of the what the movie's about and more like just the name.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 1 I think Denver is the predator of the AFC. Nobody sees them coming.
Not really sure what's happening in the jungle. There's just some weird shit happening.
Can you guys go down there?

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 1 And it's like, oh, no, you're not hunting them. They're actually hunting you.

Speaker 1 And right now, I feel like Denver, nobody realizes they're the alien in the jungle yet. And that's my case.

Speaker 2 That's like Andy Reid and Patrick Mahomes are like, you're scared, Andy. Bullshit.
You ain't afraid of no man. There's something out there hunting us.

Speaker 1 And it ain't no man. And Casey,

Speaker 1 how's Casey going to lose this? They have Jesse the body and Carl Weathers, Arnold. Like, this is going to be great.
They've got this.

Speaker 1 I also, you guys talked about this on the Ringer gambling show, House.

Speaker 1 And then Shield did his three tiers of MVP picks on the Ringer NFL show. Did not mention Bo Nix.

Speaker 1 I don't think Bo Nix is going to win the MVP.

Speaker 1 I'm just going to say that. Okay.

Speaker 2 Nor do I.

Speaker 1 But there is. It usually Shield made this case out.
It's usually a 13 or 14 win team produces the MVP. So if you're all in on Denver,

Speaker 1 as House would say, maybe sprinkle just a

Speaker 1 smattering

Speaker 1 on the 60-to-1 Bo Knicks. Why not? Like, what if he throws, what if he's 3,500 yards,

Speaker 1 you know, runs for 800 yards and 10 TVs. They go 15 and two.
I am not saying this will happen, but for the odds, I just thought it was interesting.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't think that's a bad way to speculate to have that, you know, in the portfolio, a little taste.

Speaker 1 Because Purdy's the other one, like that, where it's like, if you really like a San Francisco comeback, odds are Purdy's going to be awesome and maybe just go long shot on him. All right.

Speaker 2 Well, I think what else is interesting is

Speaker 2 one of these second-year quarterbacks is not going to play well this year. It's just how the odds are.
It's like they're not all going to work out. They're not all going to be great.

Speaker 2 So Jaden, NYX, May, and then like Pennix and McCarthy and their other class and Caleb as well.

Speaker 2 Like, I think one of those four, including Caleb, is going to be like, ooh, what happened in that second year? You have to just, the law of averages of quarterbacks. Is it going to be May or Caleb?

Speaker 2 Like, I Nick's looked great. Fine.
He was in the playoffs. He represented himself, but I don't know.
I just don't think he's Don Elway yet.

Speaker 1 Here's the problem with the Bears from what I say with Caleb. They, they just,

Speaker 1 how much can you blow Tyson Badger?

Speaker 1 They like Badger. The coach loves him.
They gave him an extension. He's sobbing in the press conference.
It's like, what are you guys doing? Let's save it. Save the Bears for the Bears.

Speaker 1 I've never seen it. We're not even on the Bears.

Speaker 1 Mike House is going to be on my podcast on Thursdays this year.

Speaker 1 And as we're leading up to it, if I was just like raving about

Speaker 1 the person who's like, if anything happens to House, I'm going to have this guy host instead of House. And all I did all August was rave about the other person.

Speaker 1 That's like, if we give this person a $10 million contract, I'm going to be upset.

Speaker 1 Two years, $10 million. Yeah, I'll be upset.
Tyson Bajant or Badgent?

Speaker 2 Bajant, like Agent.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you said it right. Tyson Bajant.
Okay. I was going to say it, right? All right.
So Denver off the board. And that means House is now up with the six picks.

Speaker 1 So we only have two playoff spots left here. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And in that context, this is why Houston is the right answer to me. They are the class of their division.
The case for Houston is just it's a bad division, and they have a great defense.

Speaker 1 There could be, should be a bounce back for C.J. Stroud.
They got rid of three of their offensive linemen. They brought in four guys.
So as you swapped out, but there's some weird receiver stuff.

Speaker 1 They're relying on some rookies. Tank Dels, not back yet.
The thing that hurts the enthusiasm for Houston is the Joe Mixon injury. And it does seem like that is going to be persistent.

Speaker 1 Because they're basically having an open mic night for the running back position. That is the problem.
It's like, is it going to be Nick Chubb? Is it going to be this random guy we drafted?

Speaker 1 And yet it may not matter in that division.

Speaker 1 And CJ Stroud and

Speaker 1 that defense might be enough. So I'm not sure what to do.

Speaker 1 I think this is the right spot for him for them first of all like the sixth spot even though they're they'll be the four seed because they're gonna win it but it's the defense like they're at least we know they're gonna be good defensively and we know their secondary is awesome so you'd be like all we like even in the playoffs pretty respectable defensive performance by them right colbert yeah they

Speaker 2 where you're putting them now is just it's kind of like where they've been like yeah they're they're a very good team but like you know not that upper echelon so i i'd be curious to know the movie pairing because i i have something something in my I have an idea as well.

Speaker 1 Oh, well, I'm sure. I was going to ask you guys about Cobra because this idea of a secret society, the killers.
I don't know if we want to shoot our Cobra rod here. Okay.

Speaker 2 By the way, the Cobra is the 85 Bears and the 73 Steelers.

Speaker 1 So, no, that's

Speaker 2 we can't do Cobra with the 2510.

Speaker 1 That's fine. That's why I like

Speaker 1 that. You gave us a price range and the $60 to $80 range, and then you just asked about a $750 bottle.

Speaker 1 Can I have the sanist boredom? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I was, so what were you thinking? Because I had a movie I was thinking for them.

Speaker 2 All right, this should be wild.

Speaker 2 This is an interesting one.

Speaker 2 For the Texans, I have Passenger 57

Speaker 2 just for the simple reasons of a lot to like. Really strong, cool lead.
You got some good supporting actors, the young Liz Hurley, Tom Saismore,

Speaker 2 but it's just not up there. It's not a Stallone or Schwarzenegger or Van Dam quality thing yet.
That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 I like that movie, but I'm not saying it's going to win the AFC or like be the coolest movie of the year.

Speaker 1 So my two were Commando and Passenger 57 because Commando. Awesome.
Commando. Well, that's good because I had Commando as my second choice, but right.
So I think it's Pastor 57. Passenger 57.
Because

Speaker 1 the thing I was thinking with the Commando is it's like

Speaker 1 really likable, good Ardon Schwarzenegger movie, but

Speaker 1 it's either a round one or round two loss compared to the rest of his catalog.

Speaker 2 Absolutely.

Speaker 1 Okay. So that's a strong pick for the test.

Speaker 2 Passenger 57.

Speaker 1 All right. We have done, we're through six teams.
We're going to take a quick break and then hit the rest of the AFC. The Bill Simmons podcast is presented by Fando.

Speaker 1 I hope you're ready because Fandu Futures Day is going to be Tuesday, August 26th. It's a futures extravaganza.
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What? Go nuts. Go nuts on House's team.

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Speaker 1 And now it's time for Fantasy Sleepers. It's a new segment presented by Yahoo Fantasy, a site that we use here at the Ringer for our fantasy football draft.
The season kicks off September 4th.

Speaker 1 Now is the time to play Yahoo Fantasy Football. Try the new Yahoo Fantasy Guillotine Leagues.

Speaker 1 We're doing that this year.

Speaker 1 The lowest scoring team gets eliminated weekly. It's great.
It's cutthroat. It's awesome.
Want to play instantly with friends? Try the new draft with friends mode. Prefer the classics.

Speaker 1 Play in a private head-to-head league.

Speaker 1 That sounds fun. Maybe we'll just go head-to-head.

Speaker 1 Don't touch RJ Harvey. RJ Harvey is my guy.
Or you could join a public league. No matter how you play, one thing is true.
Sleepers can win you the week or even the whole league.

Speaker 1 So House loves RJ Harvey. That's your your guy.
Yes, I do. I loved Egg Buka, who's a first-round pick, who's not even a sleeper, but I actually think he's a sleeper to be a top 10

Speaker 1 dude. My biggest one is Trayvion Henderson.
Yeah, I just think he's going to be a top 20-point. We're going to find out a lot about that offensive line this year.

Speaker 1 I think Sam Darnold's a sleeper. You're down on him.
Nobody believes it's Sam Darnard. He's going to be sleeping on his back from that offensive line.
Yes, I agree with you. He's a sleeper.

Speaker 1 He's literally a sleeper. JSN on the Seahawks as well, like him.
That receiver room's gotten worse.

Speaker 1 The season's almost here.

Speaker 1 Don't listen to House. Listen to me.
Draft now at yahoofantasy.com/slash Simmons.

Speaker 1 All right, so we have six AFC teams. We've done KC, Buffalo, Baltimore, the Chargers, Denver, and Houston.

Speaker 1 One of the questions with the AFC, Kyle, which I'm sure you've done multiple segments on. Sure.
You're bleary-eyed. Oh, yeah.
In the mornings, trying to figure this out. is

Speaker 1 who the fuck is the seventh AFC team? I know. Who is it? I mean, you could even say who's the sixth AFC team.
You at least made a compelling case for the Chargers.

Speaker 1 But when you get to the seventh seed,

Speaker 1 it's an all bets are off situation. So who'd you have?

Speaker 2 Well, I have

Speaker 2 an angel and a devil on my shoulders because I have some teams, but like my movies for them have already been taken. But it's fine because there's a cluster fuck trying to get the seventh spot.

Speaker 2 So I'm just going to go with it again. You guys mentioned this division already.

Speaker 2 I have the Raiders. I have the Pete Carroll Raiders.
the Pete Carroll, Tom Brady Raiders. I like them.
I like how they're built. I like their quarterback.
I like their running game.

Speaker 2 I like their defense. And my movie comp is kickboxer.

Speaker 2 I like anything with an old mentor who teaches like a young talent how to do things. And that's Pete Carroll.

Speaker 2 I also like that the Raiders given Ashton Genzie 350 carries in his rookie years, like Van Dam kicking the tree until he breaks his leg. Just keep kicking it.
Kick it.

Speaker 2 Kick it again until it's bleeding. And Max Crosby is is Noxu Kao, the White Warrior.
So I have the Raiders as kickboxer and as our shocking seven seed as the third team from the AFC West for me.

Speaker 1 It's in the vicinity of where I had them as well. I like it.

Speaker 1 But you left out the key point why this is such a great pick with the Raiders. The unintentional comedy and kickboxer.

Speaker 1 matching the unintentional comedy of the Las Vegas Raiders. Brady just randomly coming in with his cool Raiders gear, Mark Davis's Davis's hair, just the fact that they're in Vegas.

Speaker 1 Like, there's a cheesiness to the Las Vegas Raiders that matches. There's a famous scene in Kickboxboxer when Van Dam dances.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and it's like his whole, he's wearing a

Speaker 1 tank top. Yeah, and this is

Speaker 1 it'll occasionally become a meme. And it's like, what fits better than that for the Las Vegas Raiders? This is great.

Speaker 1 I just want to observe out loud, we have all four of the AFC West in the top seven teams here. here.
Unlikely. We just said that.
Possible.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying it out loud. That's what we did.
But I think. The coaches.
I understand. There's two divisions that are above all the other divisions, AFC West and the NFC North.

Speaker 1 And I think you can make a case for playoff spots for all eight of those teams. We just did.
If you wanted. We just did with AFC West.

Speaker 1 And people have a different one of who bounces out. Most people will probably have it like we have it here.
But I listen, talk about this every year. If you have a terrible QB and a terrible coach

Speaker 1 and you

Speaker 1 go to a B minus for those categories or C plus, it's still four to five wins.

Speaker 1 Just being competent

Speaker 1 makes you go from five and 12 to nine and eight. So I'm having an adult in the room.

Speaker 2 Listen, Geno Smith, I know he doesn't blow anybody's hair back. The Seahawks won 10 games last year.
10. With

Speaker 1 the defense,

Speaker 1 they have all that.

Speaker 2 They have Carol now and they have adult in the room. I just, I like it.

Speaker 1 I think Carol's never lost less than seven, right? Isn't that the stat?

Speaker 2 You take your hands and you put them in broken glass for the fight against Tong Po at the end. That's them against the Chiefs.

Speaker 1 Amazing sequence.

Speaker 1 I had the Patriots.

Speaker 1 I'm stunned. Look,

Speaker 1 come on. What do you mean? Come on.
Come on. They're making the jump.
Make the case.

Speaker 1 They check all the boxes that we see every year that Washton did last year, and they have the balls to pick them, but brand new coach replacing a horrific coach and a horrific coaching staff.

Speaker 1 Spent a lot of money in free agency. They had a really good draft with guys that seem like they're going to play.
They have a quarterback that I think has a chance to be special.

Speaker 1 I just thought what he did in 10 games last year with the worst coaching personnel offensive line situation possible.

Speaker 1 And the team really likes him.

Speaker 1 They're definitely going to be better. 9-8 might be a seven seed.
And when you look at their schedule and you start going through it, it's like a miracle of a schedule.

Speaker 1 And you know what else is a miracle getting Trayvion Henderson because the Browns took his teammate two spots before. So

Speaker 1 my movie here, we circled it with Houston, but I think this is Commando

Speaker 1 where it is,

Speaker 1 it's just like, it's just a little tester for what's to come. or what I hope as a Patriots fan is going to come.

Speaker 1 It's like, oh, can Arnold carry his own movie where he's not just walking in and going, I'll be back.

Speaker 1 Oh, he can. He could be like a likable star of a thing.
Oh, could this, could bigger things happen down the road? They could.

Speaker 1 Could there be a good infrastructure around Arnold in a movie that's repeatable? Oh, yes. Yeah, sure.
So Commando is

Speaker 1 my pick. I know you love Commando.

Speaker 2 I love Commando.

Speaker 2 What I'm wondering about is the Stefan Diggs piece of this.

Speaker 2 Is he Bill? Is he a Radon Chong? Is he a Bill Duke? is he is he uh vernon wells like i think radon chong i think it's it's radon

Speaker 1 i think it's like we just kind of needed somebody that where you recognize their name yeah we have spent more money on the actress we probably could have she's serviceable can she can she get 75 catches and 900 yards she can and that's it i think diggs is going to have 90 catches this year i i know that people are down on him and they think he's a jackass or something his stock is low he's such a professional on the field he's so so good at wide receiver and he took josh allen from adolescence to adulthood i think he's gonna do it again i love diggs this year my only issue the ceiling for me um that i i don't makes it unattainable is just that offensive line isn't good enough to give drake may the time that he's going to need to get 90 balls into the it's a way better offensive line this year and it's still not that good right that they were an f minus minus last year as an offensive line it's the worst offensive line they've ever had since i've been a patriot fan and now they're going to be a d

Speaker 1 no i think they're going going to be like a like a C okay maybe a C plus I'm not going to sit here and argue with you about it because last year Washington was forecasted to have one of the four worst offensive lines in the entire NFL if you look at every forecast and then they came in and scheme-wise Cliff Kingsbury and with the weapons that they had they ended up being a very serviceable offensive line I mean they had

Speaker 1 When you look at the coaching staff they had last year, it's people that aren't in football. I get it.
I know. Like very seriously.
I don't know

Speaker 1 what Mayo's doing. I don't know where Alex Van Pelt is.
You're going down the line. I don't know if these guys are

Speaker 1 in pro college, high school. Who knows?

Speaker 1 You're up again with the ninth pick, Kyle.

Speaker 2 The ninth pick.

Speaker 2 All right. Well, I had, this is where I had the Bengals.

Speaker 2 I had Cincinnati here just on the outside. And listen,

Speaker 2 this is where I run into the, I have Predator.

Speaker 2 I know, Billy, you already claimed Predator, but it's just like

Speaker 2 so many, so many just huge, giant, expensive, violent weapons with no ability to defend themselves.

Speaker 2 They just sit there like a sitting fucking duck, and the predator goes in and steals Jesse the body's body. There's nothing they can do about it.
And it's pretty cool.

Speaker 2 And they got miniguns, and Jamar Chase is old painless, but like they really have no way of protecting themselves against this superior weaponry.

Speaker 1 That's what I worked with. You just violated the draft.

Speaker 2 I know. So I got to go with another movie.

Speaker 1 I have an idea for this. If you want, I don't know if the samaes can help each other.

Speaker 2 Yeah, give me something.

Speaker 1 I had Tango and Cash written down for them, and here's why.

Speaker 1 It's not a good movie.

Speaker 1 It's super entertaining. I don't know why it's so entertaining, but it is.
You just get to hang out with Stallone and Kurt Russell.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 1 They have this weird kind of back and forth stuff.

Speaker 1 Stallone's trying to be hilarious.

Speaker 1 he's like this hilarious, wise crackings, really into the stocks.

Speaker 1 And it's just a fun hang. And you never think it's going to win the Oscar or be that good.
And I think that's the Bengals. I just think they're a fun hang.

Speaker 1 They're never going to really do anything. Their defense is going to be bad.
Zach Taylor. Trace and Blurrow are cool, too.
That does like

Speaker 1 a self-factor with Swayze. I mean, you'd want anybody from this team on your fantasy team.

Speaker 1 Enjoy it. I'll buy it on 4K Blu-ray.

Speaker 2 Predator's too good of a movie to go to the 2025 Bengals. This is good.

Speaker 1 We're in agreement. That's where my head supposed.

Speaker 2 Highly watchable. I think that's a word for both of those things.

Speaker 1 Tango and Cash. Plus, like Burrow and Chase.
Chase. Literally Tango and Cash.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. My next one.

Speaker 1 This is going to hurt. See, I'm taking movies right off Kyle's board.
I don't mean

Speaker 1 because it's not a zero-sum game. I have Pittsburgh right here.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I don't think they're a playoff team. I don't know if Aaron Rodgers even gets through the season.
I think it's completely unrealistic that he's going to be good this year. I don't see the case.

Speaker 1 I watched him play football last year. I don't know why he'd be better a year later.
I don't think he wants to get hit anymore. The way that team catered last year,

Speaker 1 the Metcalf thing, they kind of went sideways with the skill positions. Their offensive line will be a little bit better.
Schedule's pretty hard.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I just grabbed out for justice here

Speaker 1 because

Speaker 1 I think it's a season where there's just a moment where Tomlins just wandering around going, Has anyone seen Richie?

Speaker 1 Has anyone seen Richie? And but he really means a quarterback because this is year eight for him not having a quarterback, year nine.

Speaker 1 And it just feels like, has anyone seen Richie season for the Steelers? They'll probably go eight and nine, nine and eight, whatever, but I don't think they're a playoff team.

Speaker 2 I'm going to keep coming back to nine and eight until somebody remembers seeing the divisional round.

Speaker 2 It's good.

Speaker 1 It's good. That was excellent.
the case for aaron rodgers being better this year is that he is a full year now rehabbed away from the the achilles

Speaker 1 i mean you know if you want to advance the argument that he was back too early from the achilles definitely you would make that argument with kirk cousins is he was he back a year too early from not wanting to get hit anymore because he didn't want to get hit last year

Speaker 1 There was a lot of disarray. Now, some of it he certainly

Speaker 1 had a hand in. I'm not absolving him of the disarray in that jet situation, but this is a different situation.
And

Speaker 1 I'm really, really, really intrigued by Arthur Smith and Aaron Rodgers. Really, what, KB, what are you hearing? Like, how is that relationship going?

Speaker 2 I went to Steelers camp. I sat with Rodgers.
I watched. And God damn, the ball flies out of his hand.
We know that. Like, it's very impressive.

Speaker 2 And the Arthur Smith thing is very strange from the get-go because Arthur Smith's like, run the shit out of the ball.

Speaker 2 Just run left run right do the falcons thing what I did with those two running backs you wouldn't think and the weird part about it is Rodgers had no say in picking him Rodgers brought Nate Hackett to the Jets

Speaker 2 there's no end there's no Alan Lazard Randall Cobb is not on the steel it's not like his whole crew where he's Vinnie Chase and he brought turtle and e there's none of that he's just is there because Tomlin is the coach and Tomlin always is in the playoffs

Speaker 1 All right, you monitor this training camp stuff closely and you've gone to training camps. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Why do we believe any story about anything that these guys say in the training camp like who's going to be like yeah we haven't really liked him he's been kind of a dick no but those before the season those stories do leak out like that's why everybody's got their eye on the dolphins we'll get to them eventually right yes those stories are leaking out of miami like you know that's a good point

Speaker 2 It's like you're skeptical of X players in the best shape of his life and has recommitted himself to fitness and lost this much.

Speaker 2 It all matters in this time of year.

Speaker 2 It's what we do in August.

Speaker 1 Well, the thing that uh and i've talked about this the one thing i do look for is the raving quotes from the teammates and coaches about like a new quarterback a rookie like and this is where like the cam ward thing becomes so interesting because the way they talk about cam ward it's very similar to daniel's last year agreed you can see like from the moment daniel showed up in washington and house and i were texting during the summer i was like House, did you, did you get a quarterback?

Speaker 1 It seems like you got a quarterback. Everyone's like blowing this, blowing this.

Speaker 1 And I wouldn't let myself believe it. I was like, oh, this is the thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, House had his hard season. He didn't want to be hurt.
Yeah, I didn't want to be hurt.

Speaker 2 When did you start believing, House? Like, when was the moment?

Speaker 1 That pass that he threw to Terry McLaurin on Monday night football

Speaker 1 and took the hit. Yep.
I got chills. I'm almost getting chills right now thinking about it again.
It's just so unexpected to see a guy with that level of poise.

Speaker 1 And it was like there was a bucket to drop it into that was like barely the size of the football. God damn, that was a badass play.
That made me believe. Well, how sad that you're up.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 the following teams are left:

Speaker 1 Indianapolis, Jacksonville, the Jets, Miami, Tennessee, and Cleveland. And you have to go.
You have to take one of those teams. Who are you taking?

Speaker 1 Miami. And the reason that I'm taking Miami is because it's one of two outcomes for them.
And for sure,

Speaker 1 everybody has got their antennae up. Everybody's paying attention.
Like when the odds board opens for first coach to be fired, it's going to be Mike McDaniels' name at the very top.

Speaker 1 And all we've been talking about is that hot seat for him, the hot seat for Tyreek. But the talent is still there and on both sides of the ball.
Like if you, if

Speaker 1 Jalen Phillips and Bradley Chubb can play 12 games this coming season on defense. Yeah, they have certain skill sets.
Yeah. They can rush the passer.
They have speed.

Speaker 1 Then there's other parts of the team where it's like, yeah, we just don't have an offensive line. Yeah, we're just not going to have a secondary this year.

Speaker 2 Well, the thing with the thing with McDaniel, his apologists say if his record with Tua as a starting quarterback is excellent, he wins.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's a huge if.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 2 when he has a starting quarterback, he wins.

Speaker 1 So, what's a movie that's like one extreme or the other?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I had, I had an idea for this, but kind of you go because I've kind of strong-armed you on.

Speaker 2 All right, so wait, did we? I don't think we burned this.

Speaker 2 This is where I'm ready. I have a chip that is very special to me.
This is where I'm ready to burn my Cobra chip.

Speaker 2 I think Marion Cabretti is Mike McDaniel. It's just eccentric for eccentric's sake doesn't even really make sense.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 It's just like, why are you being that strange? You can just be straight with us sometimes. And it's like, I can see McDaniel with the aviators and a match in his mouth and talking about his run game.

Speaker 2 You're like, guys, defense is a disease, and I'm the cure.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 that fits to me.

Speaker 2 It seems like him.

Speaker 1 He would definitely eat pizza by cutting it with scissors.

Speaker 2 Yeah, just scissors, frozen pizza. I think Tyreek is like this really cool, like bladed weapon with spikes.
He's the Night Stalker. I think Cobra is down in South Beach.
I do.

Speaker 1 House and I went to breakfast, and I was walking him through the movies on the list because he didn't remember some of them. Fun, that's a bunch of stuff.
And I was just like, great breakfast.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if somebody had overheard it, they would have thought we were just two lunatics.

Speaker 1 But we get to Cobra. I'm like, Cobra,

Speaker 1 Stallone just lost his mind. Yep.
He just loses his mind. And at one point, he eats pizza by cutting it with scissors.
He kills 230 people and mumbles all his lines and has a toothpick in his mouth.

Speaker 1 And it's an incoherent movie that we both love.

Speaker 2 There's no guardrails. Just do anything, sly.
Nothing.

Speaker 2 It's no one stepping in to tell him that would never happen. And that's why it's fun to watch.

Speaker 1 That's the Dolphins, too. I had over the top in that spot for many of the same reasons you just laid out.
Completely ridiculous, incomprehensible. Not sure why it happened.

Speaker 1 Multiple major, major holes in the movie, and yet still weirdly enjoyable.

Speaker 1 Okay. that means I am now up.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I can't believe I'm doing that. I hate the AFC South.

Speaker 1 I really do. And

Speaker 1 I've changed my mind on the Indianapolis, Jacksonville, Tennessee thing. And I thought I had kind of landed on Indianapolis for a split second, and then the Danny Dimes thing.

Speaker 1 I just can't do Jacksonville. My body keeps rejecting it like a, like a kidney.
It's understandable. And I keep kind of veering toward Tennessee for the second place spot, maybe,

Speaker 1 which we already have bets on them finishing in fourth place. So it's like a zag just on things we bet on.
And it really comes down to like,

Speaker 1 they have a good offensive line.

Speaker 2 Yep, they do.

Speaker 1 They might have a quarterback who's special right away, which we have seen year after year after year now, where this one quarterback will come in and just be good right away.

Speaker 1 They have some

Speaker 1 things they can do. Like maybe they'll have a little bit of a pass rush.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Maybe they'll have an easy schedule. So you can kind of start talking yourself into pieces, but it's really the Cam Word piece.

Speaker 1 I want to ask Kyle this, and I want to ask it in a way that won't get him in trouble with anybody. Okay, go on, go on.
I didn't see any team last year that was worse coached than the Tennessee Titans.

Speaker 1 Well, so that was that

Speaker 1 the special teams, like some of the teams. But how much of that was Will Levis, though?

Speaker 1 Will Levis didn't play special teams. Their special teams was an abomination.
Yeah. Now, I know that they brought in, you know,

Speaker 1 an adult finally on that side of it, but I'm just going to put it politely. I have Maddie Callahan questions.
I have Callahan questions. How about

Speaker 1 and until those get answered, I think. Why is this making Kyle uncomfortable? They talk about shit like this every day on Good Morning Football.
I don't have to tone the league line that hard.

Speaker 2 It's cool, House. I'm the only one who's critical.
It's fine. I don't care.

Speaker 2 I don't think they're going to fire me because I say the Titans coach has questions about me.

Speaker 1 Right. You're like, hey, did you hear what Kyle agreed with this Tennessee coach?

Speaker 1 I thought they were point shaving last year. That's how bad it was.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I call them the Tennessee point shavers. I never told you my movie for them.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. What do you got?

Speaker 1 Kindergarten cop.

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 1 kindergarten cop, first of all, gives the

Speaker 1 feeling of youth, which is what they have with Cam Ward, right? Just like, oh, he's too young.

Speaker 1 They can't do anything. He just got there the team's a mess

Speaker 1 kindergarten cops a movie that when you saw the trailer you just assumed it was going to be terrible yeah and i'm old enough unfortunately to remember seeing the troll but like oh man arnold's really lost it what the what the is he making this movie like this is just this is just going to be a bomb i can't believe and then it turned out to be really good i know it's that it's one of these annoying things that our heroes all did is they're like, no, I can't do action movies forever.

Speaker 2 I got to show my diversity. I'm like, God damn it.
Just make the fucking action movies.

Speaker 2 It's like when you go to a concert of a band you loved in the 80s and they're like, hey, this is one of our new ones. Oh, shit.
I'm going for a beer. It's like that.
Don't do that. But they do.

Speaker 1 And it worked in this case.

Speaker 2 So I got the twins worked and a lot of them worked for him.

Speaker 1 House,

Speaker 1 you have.

Speaker 1 Are you next? Yeah.

Speaker 2 You lost track, Bill.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know. I lost track, too.
Give it to Kyle. Yeah, Kyle, you go.
Yeah, I think Kyle hasn't gone.

Speaker 2 All right. I like that we, I feel like a janitor just mopping up the hallways of the AFC South.

Speaker 2 We have to do it.

Speaker 1 The real point is it doesn't really matter who goes at this point, but you go. Who do you have? All right.

Speaker 2 I'm going to go to Duval Connie. You got the Jags.

Speaker 2 I got the Jags. I'll take this one for us, Bill.
And this one is on a T for what the movie is. This is definitely double impact.

Speaker 2 This is like, listen. Back in the day, people were like, we need more Van Dammage.
We need two Van Dammes in one movie. And house, I'll give you one wild guess.

Speaker 2 Who gets a screenwriting credit for this movie? take a guess I can't I can't imagine Jean-Claude Van Dam screenwriting fucking credit

Speaker 2 on the screen my hot take Bill about about double impact is that sinners is just a ripoff of double impact and Michael B studied tape of Van Dam and that smoke and stack were just Alex and Chad totally ripped off

Speaker 1 did it first that's great

Speaker 2 that's great but obviously the connection is uh Travis Hunter they're double impact he needs to do two characters they draft him to to be the defensive guy, the wide receiver guy.

Speaker 2 And we'll see if it works.

Speaker 2 Double impact doesn't totally work. Trevor Lawrence in this case would be Bolo Young, who was like great physical gifts, but never really wins.
So that's where I'm at. It's right there for you.

Speaker 2 Double impact Travis Hunter.

Speaker 1 I really like it.

Speaker 1 I don't have a lot of notes other than to mention that not only did Van Dam

Speaker 1 co-write the movie. I wonder if he bought first draft.
Do you think he loaded it into his computer? Do you think Van Dam had a computer?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 1 But he plays twins and he plays the twins differently but you know even in sinners the twins

Speaker 1 they they're a little different but yes you know they they sound van dam's like no one guy is going to be this guy and the other guy and it's a really bad movie that i can't believe we haven't done on the rewatch there's a part where a woman starts to put her hand down van dam's pants and she goes am i going to get a surprise and he goes yeah big surprise and you're like jesus what are we doing here what just he must kick somebody

Speaker 2 he wrote he wrote that he wrote his life big surprise, the big penis.

Speaker 1 Yes, that's him. He liked that one.

Speaker 1 That's great. All right, three teams left.
You can have India, Indianapolis, the Jets, or Cleveland.

Speaker 1 Here, I'm taking the Jets, and we're squarely in the Segal Van Dam division, I think, movie-wise, right? It's got to be a lot of fun. Well, so if I can suggest

Speaker 1 a movie here,

Speaker 1 as an action somai, I mean, you could do the running man,

Speaker 1 but double entendre because Aaron Glenn is just like, we're just running.

Speaker 1 yeah we're just gonna run the ball a lot and then we're gonna keep running it is there a scenario where the jets can win eight or nine games this season

Speaker 2 i mean yeah how many justin fields conversations have you had on the show in five years he's pulling his hair out yeah and you know why i i've seen a lot of justin fields a lot a lot and he is like the greatest person and the greatest employee he doesn't say and he works really hard and he gets his ass kicked he almost never wins the game he starts and then when he finally did win some games, Mike Tomlin benched him for Russell Wilson.

Speaker 2 It's a very odd legacy. So I love him.
I'm rooting for him. But like, it's also the longest playoff drought in like major professional sports.

Speaker 2 So is this Justin Fields in year one of Aaron Glenn's going to break it? I don't think it's likely.

Speaker 1 I went back in my notes from last year for all the podcasts I hosted to just try to jog my memory because we always get amnesia after this season.

Speaker 1 And before they benched Fields, there was a game that they won, but I did a whole section. I wrote out a whole section to do in the pod about like Fields doesn't have it.

Speaker 1 They actually have to go to Russell Wilson. He's not good enough.

Speaker 1 Because he just,

Speaker 1 you know, especially if you're down, what was that game? Was that maybe Dallas where they were down and he had to do a drive at the end? He's just not accurate enough.

Speaker 2 Yeah, no.

Speaker 1 So it might be, I think, I've said before, I think they're going to be the tease buster this year.

Speaker 1 There's going to be like two games this year that they win 16 to 9 and they have to lead the whole game.

Speaker 1 And you had the other team as part of a three-team 10-point tease, and you can't believe like Cincinnati's losing to the Jets in the fourth quarter.

Speaker 1 Let's go to Cincinnati where Justin Fields just ran. So I was like, I can't believe I bet on Cincinnati.
What am I doing?

Speaker 1 I just, I'm not going to bet anything involving the Jets because their defense and Aaron Glenn together, like they're still talent on that defense. They're not talent.

Speaker 1 It was a disaster what happened with that, with Salah leaving and the difference between

Speaker 1 what that defense was capable of when Salah was still there. That was the only unit that had any kind of semblance of like competent football.

Speaker 1 And I mean, the schedule is the problem. All right, we're on a terrible pace.
We got to keep moving.

Speaker 2 We ran in our running man for that, Bill.

Speaker 1 Let's do, yeah, let's lock down the running man for that. Okay, good.
All right.

Speaker 1 All right. You have the second and last one here, Kyle, and then I'll go last.
You can have Indianapolis or Cleveland. Tough, tough podcast already for Danny Dimes.

Speaker 2 I'm going to go Cleveland. Okay.
And

Speaker 2 I'm going to go Jim Cotta.

Speaker 1 You're going wild card.

Speaker 2 Wild card, Jim Cotta.

Speaker 2 Cleveland is like, we have Miles Garrett, and that's it. Jim Cotta is like, we have a pommel horse and we will kick the shit out of you with it.
I don't care what else is going on.

Speaker 2 You give us a pommel horse and we will kick. That's all.
It's really like one asset that they're bringing and all kinds of other shit going on with quarterbacks and ninjas and attacks.

Speaker 2 I got the Cleveland Browns' Jim Cotta, Bill. I hope I didn't steal your wild card.

Speaker 1 So does this mean you've watched Jim Cotta?

Speaker 2 I've seen Jim Cotta

Speaker 2 like a seamstress, like in pieces.

Speaker 1 I've been poking you with it for the last couple of years. Oh, listen.
Well, for rewatchables, I'm just like,

Speaker 1 hey, can you check out Jim Cotta? I know. He badgered me for Out for Justice for

Speaker 1 two years, and I finally did it. And guess what? I was, it made my year.
I'm so happy that I dove into Out for Justice. He won't.
obliged with Jim Cotta. You can't do a full hour on Jim Cotta.

Speaker 1 How do you do it? Oh, we definitely can. It's Pommel.
We would do two two hours.

Speaker 1 It's in the running for the worst sports movie of all time

Speaker 1 because it's Kurt Thomas as

Speaker 1 Kurt Thomas coming off the 84 Olympics, star gymnast, and they make an action movie for him, and he just has to do gymnastics action shit. It's amazing.
It's a mesmerizing movie.

Speaker 1 It's one of the funniest movies. Watch it.
It's stunning. Yeah.
All right. I'm going to take Indianapolis then, who somehow fell into the 16

Speaker 1 seat in this. So

Speaker 1 we're going to do true lies here. Ah, all right.
Go on. Yeah, I'm sorry.
Don't do it.

Speaker 1 I just think a lot of lies left and right coming from this franchise. Just things that Richardson and I, all of it just seems,

Speaker 1 I don't think they had any intention of bringing him back. I think there's a lot of stuff behind the scenes with that they're seeing that we're not seeing.

Speaker 1 They spent money on dimes to come in. Dimes is not remotely close to the guy he was in 2022 when he wasn't even that good.
And I just think they're out on Richardson. And I don't even know.

Speaker 1 Like, I would have tried to trade him in August, just be like, you know what? We fucked this up. It was the fourth pick in the draft.
We took a swing. I have two questions about that.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Kyle,

Speaker 1 how invested was Shane Steichen in that draft pick? I think very.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Is that the story? Yeah.
Steichen. He was the guy.

Speaker 2 We're going to find the weapon of tomorrow. That was

Speaker 1 Steichen.

Speaker 2 I think, I mean,

Speaker 2 when you draft a quarterback that high, the owner is very involved as well, especially that owner. Yeah, that's that was.

Speaker 1 I don't even know what Ballard, who was it?

Speaker 2 Was it Ballard, Stike, and Ursa? Maybe that's why we're at where we are. Okay.

Speaker 1 True Lies is a good movie, and Indianapolis is going to be a bad team.

Speaker 1 And by the way, we have to stop talking about them because we're way behind on pace now. And we're going to go to the NFC.
We're going to take a break and we're going to rip through the NFC.

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We just did the AFC. We each had a different one seed for the AFC.
I can't wait to see what happens in the NFC.

Speaker 1 Plus, we have a lot of good movies left, including, I think we have Under Siege, Above the Law, Over the Top, Terminator is available, Point Break, Rainbow 2, Sudden Death, Toy Soldiers is still available.

Speaker 1 Under Siege 2, Rocky 4, Above the Law, Demolition Man, Couple wild cards, Bloodsport. So we have some good stuff here.
And Kyle, you're going to lead us off with,

Speaker 1 I don't think it'll be a surprising one seed for the NFC, but who you got?

Speaker 2 I got the Lions.

Speaker 1 Wow. I do.
It is. I got the Lions.

Speaker 1 I'm surprised. We're both surprised.

Speaker 2 I have the Lions. I know.
And I know all the attention is on Philly. I'm going to go with the Lions

Speaker 2 and I'm going to go with Under Siege for the Detroit Lions.

Speaker 2 Ryback is just like, I'm just a cook. And Campbell's like, I'm just a coach.
But you know, both of them want to get in there and kick ass.

Speaker 2 You got all these new weapons. It's, there's Tommy Lee, there's Busey.
Uh, Jameer Gibbs is a laniac, just hot as hell, fulfilling different kinds of fantasies.

Speaker 2 It's under siege, the lions is exactly what they are.

Speaker 1 That's great. I have them lower in the seeds, and I had Under Siege two for them, so I thought that's pretty funny.
Wow, awesome!

Speaker 1 You got Under Siege one, that's the difference in how we feel about the Lions. He's feeling an Under Siege season.
Yeah, I'm more in the Under Siege too.

Speaker 1 I was telling House about Under Siege because I don't think he'd ever seen it. And as soon as I got to Erica Laniak jumping out of a birthday cake, he was like, say no more, I'll watch it.
I mean,

Speaker 1 so Lions, you're not worried about

Speaker 2 coordinators?

Speaker 1 Yeah, so that would be like the, in this case, it'd be like, it's diehard on a boat. We're not worried about it.
It's too close to diehard.

Speaker 2 But all those movies are like, you know, the odds are against Dan Campbell. That's just the way he likes it.

Speaker 2 This season is about like, are you just some meathead who had really smart coordinators and this is going to catch up with you? Or is Dan Campbell truly like Mike Ditka? Is he the real thing?

Speaker 1 We'll find out. I think he is.
So here's, I just want to make this as a PSA.

Speaker 1 You can't be all in on the Bears and Ben Johnson being a genius and how great he's going to be for the Bears, but then also be all in on the Lions being good this year. Okay.

Speaker 1 Like, it's, to me, that's the seesaw, and you got to pick a side on the seesaw. Yeah, I know which side.
So if

Speaker 1 you don't think the Ben Johnson loss is going to be a huge thing for Detroit, then you can't also then pick the Bears to go 11 and 6 because Ben Johnson's their coach. All right.
We'll see.

Speaker 1 I'm going to take Philly here. Sure.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 1 This was a pretty easy movie.

Speaker 1 I had Rambo First Blood 2.

Speaker 1 First Blood, big movie, influential. The best acting of Stallone's career, other than maybe,

Speaker 1 maybe

Speaker 1 the Mickey Dying scene.

Speaker 1 So Rambo, they're making First Blood 2.

Speaker 1 There weren't a ton of sequels. The sequel thing had really started in the late 70s and they started to feel money grabby by around 84, 85.
It's like, oh, they're bringing this back.

Speaker 1 Boy, was I glad they did. I know.
And they took it. They blew it out.
They threw some steroids literally and figuratively into it.

Speaker 1 They made it absurd. It had iconic moments and scenes and was in some ways better than the first movie.
I still like it.

Speaker 2 More weapons, more muscles. There's a love story in it.
There's helicopters shooting.

Speaker 1 They're just adding. Shout out to

Speaker 2 like, put it all in. Yes, more, more, more.
It was like the Bash brothers of a movie. Just like big, beefy forearms and muscles and hitting jacks.
It was great.

Speaker 1 So Eagles, they won the Super Bowl last year. So how do you top that? Well, just fucking make it more cartoony.
Run it back.

Speaker 1 Run the tush

Speaker 1 every time. Run it back, baby.
Try to see if Devontae Smith can get 200 yards in a game.

Speaker 1 Just come up with the fake hurts injury. So Tander McKee, you can showcase him for a game because you're trying to trade him before week seven.

Speaker 1 I'm ready for all of it. And that's my pick.
How's your third pick?

Speaker 1 Out of respect to the Washington franchise, I'm not going to select them here. Okay.

Speaker 1 But I am going to select the Green Bay Packers out of respect for the NFC. Wow.
North. It's high.
It is high. That's exactly right.
But I think that this is a 10 to 11 win team.

Speaker 1 And the winner of the NFC West, I have around 10 wins, not much more than that. And the winner of the NFC South is like a a 10-win team.
So I'm fine with Green.

Speaker 1 I think Green Bay, the combination of their head coach and their quarterback, if their quarterback is healthy all season long, I like that combo better than any of the other divisions, mainly because

Speaker 1 the LA Rams with Matthew Stafford's back have taken a significant drop for me. I would have had the Rams, honestly, in this spot because of how much progress their defense made last season.

Speaker 1 Their defense was incredible the last six games of the season. So the Rams would have been, but I'm not touching an old quarterback with a bad back.

Speaker 1 So I'm putting Green Bay in here because of out of respect for LaFleur, out of respect for Jordan Love and their defense. They changed that defensive coordinator.

Speaker 1 And very quietly, Jeff Hathbee had a good season last season. I thought they're still thin the secondary, Green Bay, but help me, help me out here.
A quality team.

Speaker 1 They gave the Eagles everything the Eagles wanted. Oh, yeah.
They were right there.

Speaker 1 The profile is basically they're young.

Speaker 1 They're coming on. Could this be the year, the year away? What are we we getting from Jordan Love? I had point break written down for them.

Speaker 2 Interesting.

Speaker 1 It's like Keanu had been in our live for a few years. Could he lead a movie? Swayze's coming off Ghost

Speaker 1 and Roadhouse. It's like, could he be a bleach blonde, cool surfer?

Speaker 1 So the Swayze Keanu is your LaFleur Jordan Love? There were just questions when it's coming out, but I also really wanted to see it. And then it delivered.
So House's case put in Green Bay here.

Speaker 1 You're like, there's some young pieces here.

Speaker 2 What's crazy about Green Bay, too, is like, House, like, there's there's no buzz, they're very quiet

Speaker 2 because everyone's talking about the Bears and the Lions and what's J.J. McCarthy going to look like.
They're by far the most quiet team in the league. That's probably good.

Speaker 2 I don't know if we saw Point Brank, Catherine Bigelow, middle of summer hit, like, being that big of a hit. Point Brank's one of my favorite movies of all time.

Speaker 2 I think it was way better than everybody thought that would be Green Bay.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.
Go ahead. So we have a top three of Detroit, Philly, and Green Bay.
Interesting.

Speaker 1 Two division champions,

Speaker 1 not even brought up yet. You have the fourth pick, Kyle.
Who do you have? All right.

Speaker 2 Well, I'm going to need some help from the samoye because my picks here at the top of the NFC, the movies are all gone.

Speaker 1 So we'll go somaye to somayee here.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I need help.

Speaker 2 I have the Buccaneers. I have them right there

Speaker 2 for a bunch of reasons. Not only is the NFC South pretty light, I like Baker, I like Bulls, and nobody plays the Eagles harder than the the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

Speaker 2 Ask any Eagles fan who plays them the best, the Bucs. They knocked them out of the playoffs a couple of years ago.
They play awesome.

Speaker 2 If they were to run into Philly in the playoffs, they could beat them. But I also had Bill, I had written down that Baker has Bodhi energy.

Speaker 2 It's not tragic to die and doing what you love, but point break is off the board. So are you feeling anything for like young hot shot Baker? A lot of baggage there.
It hasn't got it done yet.

Speaker 2 What do you think?

Speaker 1 So this was my favorite one of the 32 for the movie.

Speaker 1 And one of the reasons I came up with this dumb idea that people are probably pouring gasoline on themselves.

Speaker 1 I'm having a great time. I don't care if people like this around, I am too.
Um, for me, it's obviously toy soldiers. Oh, Baker Mayfield, Sean Aston,

Speaker 1 uh, young scrappy, like Sean Aston can't be the lead of a movie. What are we doing? He's 5'7, he's gonna be John McClain in a boarding school, saving a boarding school from terrorists.

Speaker 1 This movie's ridiculous. How is it working? Great.
And same thing for Tampa. Like, this is ridiculous.
How are they?

Speaker 1 Godwin's coming back for Manicio. They've lost Macmillan for a half year.
This Ohio State receiver, miraculously, falls to them at 21, who's going to be awesome. He's going to be awesome.

Speaker 1 Mike Evans is still good. Like, what are we doing? How are worfs they're not going to have for four weeks? How are they scoring 38 points in this game?

Speaker 1 I just think it's going to be like, and then you have scrappy underdog, tiny Baker Midfield, aka Sean Aston. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I thought that Todd Bowles would be Lou Gossett, but Mike Evans is so old, I think it might be him.

Speaker 2 And i also think that toy story or not toy story uh toy soldiers the villain is really bad right we've talked about that like that villain is not great the nfc south the villain is not very good like there's not someone who's really intimidating there so i i love you know i love toy soldiers great call yeah i don't know who will wheaton is in this

Speaker 1 because when we kyle and i broke this down two years ago and We slow-moed a couple Will Wheaton scenes and just went like really, really intensely in on some of the stuff he was doing.

Speaker 1 I don't know who that character is in this Tampa.

Speaker 2 It's got to be Bucky Irving. He's looking to fight, but like maybe not really.

Speaker 2 I like Bucky.

Speaker 1 He's up and coming.

Speaker 2 He's going.

Speaker 2 I think Jason Light, the GM is Marcus Brody from the Indiana Jones. Like we can do the whole casting, Bill.

Speaker 2 The fact that this was what launched what we're doing is perfect. Toy Soldiers in the box.
I'm in.

Speaker 1 All right. So now we have Detroit, Philly.
Green Bay, Tampa. I am up with the five seed.

Speaker 1 And it's a team that I actually had a whiff higher than that. And I'm just confessing, this is full confession time because I think I'm locked in.
House is not going to like this. Oh,

Speaker 1 it's fine. It's the Seattle Seahawks, who I think are going to win the NFC West.
Okay, I love them. I have,

Speaker 1 I needed a Nobody Believes in Us team. They qualify.
I couldn't find one in either conference. How do they qualify for nobody? They won 10 games last season.

Speaker 1 They're plus 550 to win the NFC West in a division that I think any of those four teams you could make a case for. That's fair.
Why is he at a plus 550 on FanDuel?

Speaker 1 There's almost six to one odds they're going to win the division. They were good.
They had the division last year. They almost won it.

Speaker 2 People are not excited about Sam Darnold. Let's just say what it is.

Speaker 1 Which means that nobody believes in this thing. But this is the nobody believes in this part.
They don't believe in Sam Darnold. He already went through this last year.

Speaker 1 They thought they got the receivers worse. They don't believe in Cooper Cup.

Speaker 1 But everyone's just blindly in on the Niners. And from a Zag standpoint, standpoint, I think it's the best zag of the eight divisions where there's a case for it.
I know.

Speaker 1 Their offensive line, Kubiak doing the zone blocking. Everybody's excited about that.
They nailed the great Zabel pick. They nailed the draft house.
They did. They did

Speaker 1 nice nail draft. I agree with that.
And guess what else they have? They have a defense that might be a top five defense. It's a very good defense.

Speaker 1 If you're making your top five defense draft, they have to be one of the candidates. They have a home field advantage.

Speaker 1 And I don't think their division is going to be very good because of the Stafford piece you mentioned earlier. so i have seattle and my movie is sudden death

Speaker 1 wow awesome sudden death is a nobody believes in us movie okay

Speaker 1 they're they pitched this and the people in the room were like no way stop it's like so man it's like die hard but it's during a hockey game yeah

Speaker 1 it's a penguins game yes van dam is basically going through a divorce he's kind of a loser he's just like a security guard type guy um and he's gonna have to foil this terrorist attack.

Speaker 1 And at some point, he's going to play goal in the movie. Yeah.
And everyone in,

Speaker 1 I don't believe this. I don't, we should make this.
I don't want to commit. And they're like, just trust me, just trust me.
And guess what? We've already done the rewatchables. It's a magical movie.

Speaker 2 And they said, well, what if we have a scene where he fights the mascot in a kitchen? Would that work? Yes.

Speaker 1 Everything.

Speaker 2 House, the best thing about this movie is, can you imagine if a team, if a movie maker went to the NFL and they're like, can we have a thing where the Steelers and Cowboys are playing and the whole stadium is rigged with bombs and it's going to explode?

Speaker 2 And they're like, No, the NHL is like, Sure,

Speaker 2 you're going to make a movie about hockey, take our jerseys, whatever you want, fine.

Speaker 1 If you want to blow up both teams, fine, do it.

Speaker 1 So, Seahawks, nobody believes in them. Nobody believed that Sutton.
I definitely don't believe in them. All right, well, there you go.
It's a perfect pick. Uh, house, you're up.

Speaker 1 Um, I have San Francisco 49ers here,

Speaker 1 and you know, this is the right place for them, I think, um, where there is uh been a large market movement in favor of the 49ers winning the West.

Speaker 1 You know, they have been,

Speaker 1 they're penciled in. The win total.
It's just the NFC West is done. Just put them in.
They're the champs. It's just that they're the favorite.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's not, you know, it's still like everyone has them in the playoffs. Everyone's in the three and three out.
Well, the Niners will definitely be one of the team. They're just in.

Speaker 1 And meanwhile, they lost 10 guys who signed contracts for at least 10 million a year

Speaker 1 on top of like McCaffrey. Who knows? We don't know when Ayuk's coming back.
They're already having like major wide receiver stuff.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I know

Speaker 1 this week.

Speaker 2 They just brought, they traded for Brian Robinson Jr. from Commanders.
Yeah. Really good running back.
Really good. I just had a fantasy draft, and that was fucking everybody up.

Speaker 2 I think he's going to get carries. I do.

Speaker 1 He's definitely going to get carries. He's a tough guy.
This is one where you have to

Speaker 1 invest in

Speaker 1 the regression, which is to say, they're not going to have the injury luck that they had last year. They're not going to have the worst defense in the second half of football games.

Speaker 1 They were an abomination in the fourth quarter of football games last year. The defense was a bottom-five defense in all of those metrics.

Speaker 1 You say that Robert Salah with these guys starting from scratch. Robert ate kids Salah.
I know. There we go.
Shraigz is probably texting them right now.

Speaker 1 And they have that. Text me after you put the kids to bed.
I have some questions about the secondary.

Speaker 2 Do you know I once had an exchange with Robert Salah that I'll share with you where I was like, dude, you're ripped. Like, you are so huge.
What are you on?

Speaker 2 Like, do you do you take some sort of like creatine or he's like no i'm on i'm on phw and i was like what's phw i'm googling it phw i go what the hell is that he goes pure hard work and i was like oh jesus christ you're pure hard work i love that it was an amazing story let's go phw

Speaker 1 so you had the niners winning the nfc west you need a movie i bet it and i bet the niners to win the afc west even though i think arizona has a good you know it's an interesting uh team i i just can't do anything with the rams

Speaker 1 You disparage Seattle and you like Arizona.

Speaker 1 I think Arizona is better than Seattle. Okay.
And I think that's what it's going to work out this year. It sounds like we're going to have to make a head-to-head bet.
It's fine.

Speaker 1 Well, it says, give me a movie for San Francisco. They have the easiest schedule in the NFL.
That's part of the case. I have a good one for this, but I stole the last one spot.

Speaker 2 You do yours, Bill.

Speaker 1 I want to hear yours.

Speaker 2 No,

Speaker 2 because my Niners pick was

Speaker 2 Cliffhanger, just because everything's so tragic with the front 49ers constantly. and that cliffhanger is tragic, but the cliffhanger's already been used.
So, what do you got?

Speaker 1 So, I was thinking above the law because it's them coming out of the coma.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, well, that's hard to kill.

Speaker 1 Hard to kill is coming out of the coma. I mixed up my cigals, your three-word titles, they're tough, they're tough, but that's why I'm here.

Speaker 1 I, I mean, I would argue if, if, if I'm not the preeminent cigal expert, you are,

Speaker 1 and even I messed up the title, just though. We all do, I just

Speaker 1 above the law and hard to kill, screw it up. Well, I'm gonna go hard to kill for this.
Maybe, House, that could be

Speaker 1 your random

Speaker 1 surprise pick. I like that.
So hard to kill. Yeah.
Segal gets shot after

Speaker 1 a sex scene with his wife that became a rewatchables category. Correct.
Because Segal just starts going at it with the actress in a way that it's uncomfortable. Oh.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 we had to create a category for like,

Speaker 1 this movie needed an intimacy coordinator.

Speaker 2 What's crazy is later in the movie, he has a sex scene with his future wife and they have no chemistry.

Speaker 1 Right, no chemistry. He has way more chemistry with this actress.
But anyway, he's in a coma, comes out of the coma, hasn't done anything for five years, and sees Senator Trent on the TV.

Speaker 1 And Senator Trent says, you can take that to the bank. And the first words he says is, I'm going to take you to the bank, the blood bank.

Speaker 1 And then all of a sudden has his strength back. Well, that's nobody's ever come back from a coma faster.
That would be San Francisco coming back. Yeah.
So that heart to kill is the case. Great.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Love it. I'm in.
All right. You're up, Kyle Brandt.
This would be the seventh seed on your board.

Speaker 1 Playoff team right here.

Speaker 2 I got the Cowboys.

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 2 I got the Schottenheimer Cowboys.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 2 And my movie comp is Last Action Hero.

Speaker 1 I had that as well for them.

Speaker 2 See, Bill, the fan dual odds of how many times can we nail the same movie on the same team? Why? Because

Speaker 2 it's just so fucking much.

Speaker 2 much it's it's overproduced it's loud it's there's so many cameos you can't keep track it's still pretty good if you watch it um but what is last action hero most remembered for the soundtrack cypress hill allison chains and it's all the sound bites coming from dallas all the nonsense and the blather but the movie is still pretty good even though it's just a lot last action hero cowboys big budget Arnold, a lot of attention.

Speaker 1 Ultimately disappointing. It's picked up.
It's the perfect perfect pick.

Speaker 1 It was one of the only no-brainer. It has to be Dallas.
I had them lower on the list than I have them lower ranked, but the movie is a great movie.

Speaker 1 So the case is basically when Dak Prescott plays, they're usually pretty good. Yeah.
They weren't good last year, just with Dak Prescott, just before he got up just that way.

Speaker 1 All right, I'm up. I am taking the Bears of Chicago.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I might change this before Thursday, but right now I have them as a seven seed.

Speaker 1 I'm actually buying the Ben Johnson.

Speaker 1 Me too.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 they've just had good drafts. They've spent a lot of money.
They beefed up stuff. Their biggest question is this left tackle thing where they just basically had

Speaker 1 an entire offseason audition for this left tackle and then landed on the same guy they had last year, which I thought was enjoyable. Braxton Jones.

Speaker 1 They just have a lot of talent and they have an easier schedule and easier road than those other teams, even though they're playing all the NFC North teams. House

Speaker 2 said, when did you know Jaden Daniels was good? And you had that moment immediately?

Speaker 2 The moment, Bill, I started trusting Ben Johnson was there was a moment early in training camp where he screamed at Caleb, like was tearing him apart. They get to the press conference.

Speaker 2 The press goes, what was that about with Caleb? And he's like, he was late on the throw. He can't be late.
And he knows that. And now he knows that even better.
I was like, holy shit.

Speaker 2 Like, Caleb is the ultimate

Speaker 2 NIL, self-made millionaire. Everybody kisses his butt.
And now Ben Johnson's like, fuck you, kid. Like, be on time with my throw.
I love it.

Speaker 1 One other thing with them, they play the Vikings week one, Monday Night Football at home. And they're

Speaker 1 catching the Vikings at an optimal time where there's a bunch of shit going on with them. And if you want to play them, you want to play them that week.
Yep.

Speaker 1 Then they're at Detroit, home, Dallas, at Vegas,

Speaker 1 bye week, at Commanders, and then home Saints. And it really feels like they could be five and two coming out of that.
They have to be for the seed because the bottom half of the schedule is brutal.

Speaker 1 They have Green Bay twice. They're on the road at San Francisco in week 17.
They host the Lions.

Speaker 1 Everybody in that division has a

Speaker 1 tough road. I know.
So my movie for them is Rocky IV. Oh,

Speaker 2 okay.

Speaker 1 You know, nobody believed in Caleb Williams.

Speaker 1 Could he be the guy? I know he got drafted. Just bear with me.
Sorry, go, go, cook. Just bear with me.
Okay, cook.

Speaker 1 Because deep down, there's this whole Bears QB thing that's lingered over the franchise forever.

Speaker 1 And then if he actually gets over the hump and the Russians are now cheering for Caleb Williams, if he comes out,

Speaker 1 you know, when I first got here, a lot of people were saying the Bears would never have a QB,

Speaker 1 but I guess it's better than 400 million people killing each other. And if I could change,

Speaker 1 and it just, I don't know, it would be Caleb climbing the mountain

Speaker 1 and doing the Dragon, Jim McBean.

Speaker 1 Doing the Drago yell.

Speaker 2 I'm in Lambeau Field, and it's like a few cheers now for Caleb Williams.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. I don't know.
For some reason, Rocky Forest Strike. I do love that.
I have him over 4,000 yards this year. I bet that.
He's going to do it.

Speaker 1 I think, yeah. I mean, if Luther Burden's good, they might be genuinely dangerous.

Speaker 1 The schedule is the problem. Do you have a Loveland jersey yet, Kyle, or no?

Speaker 2 I have a Colston Loveland jersey. I have an Alamede Zakias jersey.
I have a Braxton-Jones jersey, a Joe Toon. I have them all.
I can go get them right now.

Speaker 1 Yes, I do. Do you have them as a playoff team?

Speaker 2 I do have them as a playoff team. My list is getting convoluted, but yes, I think I do.

Speaker 2 And for no other reason than like, if not now, when? Their defensive coordinator is perfect. It's Dennis Allen, who's not good as a head coach, but a great defense coordinator.
So many weapons.

Speaker 2 But I think to your point, Bill, like the most interesting game of week one for me is Vikings at bears and the team that has to win the most week one is the bears if you lose at home to jj mccarthy without jordan addison like that's so bad so bad okay house uh

Speaker 1 oh no we we house we skip you on this one we go back to kyle for the next pick okay

Speaker 2 um

Speaker 2 i actually have the vikings what

Speaker 1 yeah wait what number are we this would be i think number nine no no no all right are we eight or nine uh let's say Nine, because you had the Cowboys at Detroit, Philly, Green Bay, Tampa, Seattle, San Francisco, Chicago.

Speaker 1 We're nine.

Speaker 2 Take the Vikings back. But I actually might choose an even crazier team.
Okay.

Speaker 2 In my eight spot, I have the New York Giants.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. I love it.
This is okay. I love it.

Speaker 1 You got a reason not to do it is the schedule is like the scary. It's terrible.
It's the hardest schedule in the NFL. Okay, let's hope.

Speaker 2 I have to tell you guys, I love you. I fucking hate schedule talk.
I hate it. I think it's usually so misleading.
It's all based on last year. I don't know.
It's a pretty daunting schedule.

Speaker 2 Like, that team might end up sucking or have a million injuries. Like, there's so much turnover.
I'm personally not intimidated by schedules. I'm just not.

Speaker 2 My movie, it was already taken, but it was perfect. It was kindergarten cop.
Like, there's just all these fun little kids. You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 There's Scataboo and there's Dart and there's neighbors and Dable and Russ are like Schwarzenegger and his partner.

Speaker 2 And also in the history of the New York Giants, they have a player who's named Demani Tooma.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 2 I I don't have another movie. It's kindergarten cop.
And I just, the question is, and let's talk Giants.

Speaker 2 House, I have it

Speaker 2 over under when does Jackson start, Jackson Dart start. I have it week 4.5.
What do you think?

Speaker 1 Wow. I thought it was going to be a little bit longer.

Speaker 1 I think it's in September. So

Speaker 1 you can't do kindergarten cop clubs. You took it out.
Can I suggest?

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 1 First Blood, and here's why. Did we do First Blood yet? We did First blood, too.
Did we do first blood?

Speaker 2 I don't remember.

Speaker 1 Hold on, I'm looking through.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we didn't do that. We did Jim Cotta.
I know that.

Speaker 1 We didn't do first blood.

Speaker 1 The problem with the Giants at this spot, there's a cognitive dissonance here, right? Because if they're going to go to Jackson Dart four games in, that means that they've lost. No, or he's so good,

Speaker 1 they feel like they have a pretty good team and they want to activate him. Here's why I'll go first blood.

Speaker 2 Or they're two and two, and he just Russ hasn't been good. And they run the ball and play defense.
And they're like, Russ, you got us on the ground, but now let's go to the kid. And the kid works.

Speaker 1 And he gets to go to the Saints and they go three and two at this point. Sounds great.
Let me do my first blood case. You've interrupted me twice.
We know you don't like the Giants pick.

Speaker 2 Didn't you go over this at breakfast?

Speaker 1 No, yeah, I did.

Speaker 1 Jackson Dart is just John Rambo walking through a small town trying to get some breakfast, trying to stay out of everybody's way.

Speaker 1 And then he gets activated and fucking unleashes holy hell.

Speaker 1 And it's about the 20-minute mark of the movie, basically,

Speaker 1 when all of a sudden he's a superhero. Yep.
That would be the case here for Jackson Dart and the Giants.

Speaker 1 He gets unleashed. It's like, oh my God, he took down those three guys in the prison cell, stole a moped, and went into the mountains.
This guy's a fucking badass.

Speaker 1 That would be the first webcase.

Speaker 1 I

Speaker 1 really tried to talk myself into the Giants going nine and eight. And that was the one schedule where I was like, holy shit.

Speaker 2 Guys, don't be scared by the fucking schedules.

Speaker 2 Look at the teams. And like, don't worry about the schedules.

Speaker 1 Are they going to beat the Chiefs? No.

Speaker 1 Even though it's at home, but are they going to beat the Chargers at home? Maybe. I don't know.

Speaker 1 I hate Giants fans because they took two Super Bowls for me and remind me about it all the time. I'd actually be happy for them if the Giants were good.

Speaker 1 Like if Scatabo is getting goal line carries and Jackson Dart's good, that is fun. And they have like a pass rush that's the 07 Giants again.
It's like, this is fun. Tremendous.
It's a lot harder.

Speaker 2 And they go to Russ and they go after four weeks, Russ, it's over. And he he goes, nope.

Speaker 1 It's over. Well, the other case for them, and this is sadly, does not apply to Indianapolis because they're not going to be good, but this is, we all get fired if the season doesn't work out team.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So if they think Jackson Dart's going to pressure him, there's a different kind of pressure with the Giants.

Speaker 2 Like, I think all those three other teams in the division have to do incredible things this year. The Giants are like, let's be like pretty good this year.
And we have things to build on.

Speaker 2 I love Dable. I think he'll work.
I do. I believe.
Once they get darted.

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Speaker 1 All right, so I'm up and I'm delighted because House interrupted me twice with the last team. Now I'm just going to take his team here, the Washington Commanders.

Speaker 1 I do not have them as a playoff team.

Speaker 1 They fit just about every regression. exercise you're ever going to do.
They check all the boxes. I'm still not sure if Jaden Daniels can be healthy for 17 games, even though I respect the guy.

Speaker 1 Here's the thing: if they're a playoff team again, then Jaden Daniels just moves into that Josh Allen group of just they're 10 wins a year for the rest of his life.

Speaker 1 I think this was a team that the fourth down luck last year, the schedule, the new coach replacing, the new coach bump, so many things went in their favor.

Speaker 1 They fucking completed a Hail Mary and ruined the Bears season.

Speaker 1 They just had a couple ridiculous wins. I'm going Demolition Man for them for

Speaker 1 this season.

Speaker 1 It should have, it looks good on paper.

Speaker 1 This movie should have been awesome. You got Stallone and Snipes and Sandra Bullock just feeling her oats out.
Cool premise. There's a cryo prison.
Yeah. I got to chase somebody.
And it just...

Speaker 2 Dennis Leary.

Speaker 1 The pieces just didn't totally work. By the way, I've watched Demolition Man 12 times.
The pieces never really fit together.

Speaker 1 and I think that's going to be this Washington season pieces aren't fitting together for Washington much harder schedule um

Speaker 1 what about the wide receiver the wide receiver is still holding out oh he's got he's playing he'll be in week one under the old contract you have you have that you spent some money on these two defensive line guys who didn't really play last year i'm not sure about your secondary at all you got old secondary is better now there it's the oldest team in the nfl the one thing i'll say out loud i won't say the line because I respect you and cousin Sal.

Speaker 1 They are favored by a number that is inappropriate against the New York Giants.

Speaker 1 One of the best bets for week one is playing the New York Giants against, you know, taking the number against Washington.

Speaker 1 Historically, those teams play each other tough. The front seven for the Giants is as good as any.

Speaker 1 The only case that I'll make for Washington is they got markedly better on offense, assuming McLaurin's back for week one. I keep assuming that.
They're markedly better. The line is better.

Speaker 1 What they have in terms of a double-headed running back tandem with Rodriguez and Bill Jakori, whatever the extra.

Speaker 2 Hyphen guy. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 But call me Bill, but I have three other names. And Debo in a Kingsbury system, I think it's going to be a dynamic offense.
Counter.

Speaker 1 Go on. Did we see Debo's best years already? Of course.
It doesn't matter. Are you going to have the same luck you had last year? Did we see Austin Eckler's best years previously?

Speaker 1 20 for 23 on fourth down conversions and completed a Hail Mary. They're going to keep going for it on third and fourth down.
They're going to play four down offense all season long.

Speaker 1 I'm not saying that they're going to convert that number. I have them stepping back.
They're not going to win 12 games this season.

Speaker 1 Where do you have them, Kyle?

Speaker 2 I have them just on the outside. And I'll tell you, House, I'm not talking shit here.
I think they lose week one to the Giants.

Speaker 1 I just.

Speaker 1 I'm petrified of it. You're not talking shit.
I think that's a very, very sound observation. More importantly, we've never done Dead Molition Man on the Rewatchables.
Where do you stand on it?

Speaker 2 Stand in great places. It's a lot predicted a lot of the future.
Wesley snipes. And I look at the three seashells, kind of like the commander's wide receiver room.

Speaker 2 Like, we don't really know what they do. Like, what are those things? So we can go.
Taco Bell plays a role in it. They warden from Shawshank.
It's great.

Speaker 1 I love it. Okay.

Speaker 2 Touchless sex, it's odd, but it's in the movie.

Speaker 1 It's a very strange movie.

Speaker 1 All right, you're up. What do you got?

Speaker 1 Oh, I'm up? Yeah, you're up.

Speaker 2 All right, what number is this? Is this like 10 or 11?

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 we're in the double figures range.

Speaker 2 All right, here's my sleeper. This is like my super, super, super sleeper.

Speaker 1 I like this team.

Speaker 2 I have the Carolina Panthers.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 2 Oh, man. Yes.

Speaker 2 Based on this. I like the coach.
I like the staff. I like the quarterback.
I like how they played at the end of last year. They scared the shit out of the Eagles.

Speaker 2 They scared the shit out of the Chiefs. They were winning games down the stretch.
And I think there's continuity. I like the draft picks, I like them to play like in early December.

Speaker 2 I'm like, holy shit, when the playoff scenarios are up, like the Panthers are in that, like, in the hunt column or whatever it is. I really do.

Speaker 2 I had them, Bill, as I had them as Terminator one because it's like, holy shit, where did this movie come from? Wow, um, but we've used Terminator, I think.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you have uh Panthers, so uh, what do we have left?

Speaker 2 It's not a lot of good picks left of movies, but um, I mean, we do have Under Siege 2 left.

Speaker 1 I don't know if it doesn't really fit.

Speaker 2 Uh, we have dark territory, that's the NFC South.

Speaker 1 We have uh Over the Top is left, but I don't know if you want to waste on the Panthers, but your excitement for the Panthers, maybe this is where Over the Top goes over the top.

Speaker 2 And Bryce Young is the child in the military academy who learns how to be tough and learns how to arm wrestling and learns how to love his father, Dave Canalis.

Speaker 2 And David Tepper is the Robert Loja up there with all the money saying, I want the kid. Like that, we can make that work.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And Matt Rowe is the mom

Speaker 1 just watching her off their bed.

Speaker 2 Also, it's a very over-the-top pick to say the Panthers. So like it all works.

Speaker 1 I'm talking Panthers here. Very over the top.
I explained over the top to house today, and I think he had a vague memory of it and trying to explain how important it was. Yeah.
Wasn't.

Speaker 1 He was just thinking about it.

Speaker 2 Our boys from Corollco.

Speaker 1 Think about it. Yeah, our guys.

Speaker 2 They're like, we want to make an arm wrestling movie, but we also want to make a truck driving movie. Let's save some money and just make it one movie.
Fine.

Speaker 1 Merged them.

Speaker 1 We kind of fucked up the order. House was supposed to go there, but it's fine because I don't think he was going to take care of Laura.
He definitely was not going to take care of Leonardo.

Speaker 1 So I'm going to jump.

Speaker 1 We'll make believe

Speaker 1 house is up here and then we'll jump it ahead. Who do you have here, House? I think Atlanta is interesting.

Speaker 1 I thought they were more interesting a couple of weeks ago before all these injuries on their offensive line. Yeah.
But

Speaker 1 you can't overstate how much Kurt Cousins sabotaged their season. There's really, it's not possible to overexaggerate what he did.

Speaker 1 He single-handedly submarined them with that stretch of games that he had. He had by far the most fourth quarter turnovers where the game was within one score.

Speaker 1 He had, you know, near the most, you know,

Speaker 1 turnovers that were returned for points. We don't need to hear about how bad Kirk Cousins was.
Again, what the point is. Kirk's probably watching and you heard his feelings.

Speaker 1 That seems like such a nice thing. They have talent and they improved on defense, I think.
The defense let them down over the course of the year.

Speaker 1 Well, they definitely spent next year's first round pick trying to improve their defense.

Speaker 2 Well, listen, I listened, fantasy draft last night for me, and everyone is saying, take Bijan, number one. Like, he's the guy.
And I couldn't do it. I just, I couldn't pull the trigger.

Speaker 2 It's like a Falcons running back in 2020. I like Bijan, and I think he's really talented, but like the number one pick over, I couldn't get there.

Speaker 1 All right, we're coming back. If you noticed that edit, that was because we couldn't figure out the movies.
Then producer Steve Ceruti reminded us that we used Rocky IV to start this podcast.

Speaker 1 And then I did it again for

Speaker 1 the Bears. Fine.
I'm going to make the case Rocky IV, eligible twice.

Speaker 2 Do it. Do it a third time.

Speaker 1 You are the Falcons.

Speaker 1 How about the Falcons? We haven't used Roadhouse yet. Maybe this is a fun spot for Roadhouse.

Speaker 1 House thinks the Falcons are going to be exciting. They have a lot of fantasy guys.
Nobody thinks it's going to win an Oscar. Um,

Speaker 1 I don't know, there's some comedy. No, why are you shaking your head sadly? No, it's the rowdiest bar south of the Mason-Dixon line, yeah.
It's we're in the south with Atlanta.

Speaker 1 I think that's the right call.

Speaker 2 Hey, you know why? I got one.

Speaker 2 Have you seen this video where someone was chirping Michael Pennix and calling him Michael Penis, and he like confronted him and it looked like he was about to roundhouse kick him or something?

Speaker 2 Like Dalton? Like, don't mess with Pennix. I don't think that's funny.
So there you have it. He'll rip your throat right out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and it's and there's like, uh, I'm trying to figure figure out who Kyle Pitts is in this.

Speaker 1 Maybe it's the guy that gets sent in, it's Dalton's buddy who just gets the complete shit kicked out of him.

Speaker 1 And Kirk Cousins would be Sam Elliott, he's the old vet who might have to come in for one fight. Yeah, Road.

Speaker 1 Yes, this is good. This is good.
Yes, who is uh, who's our guy, Brad Leslie, in this?

Speaker 2 Our Brad West is that like Arthur Black?

Speaker 1 Yeah, Arthur Blank.

Speaker 2 I run JC Penny here because of me.

Speaker 1 Um, all right, So Atlanta, then Carolina, and then Minnesota is going to be my pick here. And Minnesota can't believe it took this long to go.

Speaker 1 I had a stretch where I had Minnesota winning the division at one point in early August. With JJ.
And I might have even have a fan to a bet when I was in Chicago on them to win like 10 games.

Speaker 1 I just don't like what I'm smelling from this team the last couple of weeks. I think the defense is still going to be the defense.

Speaker 1 Just throwing the combo of the McCarthy with some wide receiver uncertainty,

Speaker 1 harder schedule stuff. Somebody's kind of has to lose out of the NFC North.
And I just think I like Chicago more.

Speaker 1 I just have a lot of questions with them offensively beyond Jefferson. And we're just pushing McCarthy into this.

Speaker 2 I know.

Speaker 1 When he missed all last year, he's coming off an injury. I just, the more I stared at it, it just made me nervous.

Speaker 1 The thing that got me off of Minnesota was when you go into the numbers and look at how incredible Sam Darnold was on passes that were 20 yards or longer down the field.

Speaker 1 He led the league in all every one of those submetrics having to do with longer passes down the league. And I have no confidence whatsoever that J.J.
McCarthy will be able to replicate that.

Speaker 1 And it was a really important part of that Minnesota offense.

Speaker 2 I think J.J. McCarthy is the most pivotal player in the whole NFL this year.
Like so much weight. Is he good? Is he not? We have no fucking clue.

Speaker 2 He has this Lamborghini and Justin Jefferson, and you know how that goes. Like, they start 0-2, and he throws a couple picks, and it's like, well, we could have had Darnold still.

Speaker 2 Look at him, he's winning in Seattle. That's a bad storyline.
So he seems like a great dude, McCarthy, but like, it's a lot to step into. And he's played no football in the NFL.

Speaker 1 Ironically, I'm pairing those two storylines together with liking Seattle because I think the Sam Darnold nobody loves this, but then also the Minnesota not being as good and people going, hey, you know, it's pretty good, Sam Darnold.

Speaker 1 Anyway, my movie is Bloodsport because the thing that is fun with them is their defense. And Bloodsport is just a violent,

Speaker 1 incredible action movie. Chang Lee, I think, is,

Speaker 1 I'm not sure who?

Speaker 2 The Lions.

Speaker 2 The Lions. It's Dan Campbell, basically.
Bill, I got Blood Sport for the Vikings. I'm just so thrilled to tell you that.
I got it written down.

Speaker 1 Wow, we've matched in like eight. You guys.
If we had that match game, we would have won. We would have been going to Hawaii for at the beginning of Blood Sport.

Speaker 2 Van Dam's acting is so fucking bad. But by the end, it's like he does that scene with Ray Jackson where he's like, if you ever need me, my brother, I'll be there.
I was like, holy shit, Van Dam.

Speaker 2 That's really good. I think that's how McCarthy has to be this year.
It might start rough, but he'll get better in the kumbite that is the NFC North.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think I said this when we did the pod. It's the best acted scene in a bad movie of all of these movies.
Yes. He has this moment in the hospital.
Van Dam.

Speaker 1 And what was this guy? What was the guy? Ray Jackson.

Speaker 2 Ray Jackson. He goes, Donald Gibb.

Speaker 1 Anytime.

Speaker 1 Any place,

Speaker 1 anywhere,

Speaker 1 I got you. Or whatever he says.
And Van Dam's like, I love you, my brother. And it's like, why am I welling up? It's fucking blood sport.
I'm getting chilled.

Speaker 2 You used to write columns about that. That the director was probably on the monitor taking off his headphones and be like, cut?

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 Guys,

Speaker 1 really good.

Speaker 1 No more takes.

Speaker 2 We're done. That's lunch.

Speaker 1 All right, you're.

Speaker 2 I'm up, I think, or is it?

Speaker 1 No, because we screwed up. So it was Carolina, Minnesota.
Now house is up. And I'm really excited for this one because I have the wine bottle ready for that.
How do we not get to the Cardinals yet?

Speaker 1 Is that who you're taking? Yeah. Okay.
I think the Cardinals are live this season. All of their offensive metrics were good.

Speaker 1 I mean, you know, obviously the story is always what version of Kyler, how consistent can he be? But they have room to improve on defense.

Speaker 1 And I thought as the season went on, like they were legit threatening for a playoff spot. It feels weird to have them where we have them.
They're, to me, as good of a breakout candidate.

Speaker 1 I like them way better than I like Seattle. I think Seattle with the poorest offensive line with Sam Darnold under duress is a disaster waiting to happen.

Speaker 1 I think this Arizona thing, like that's a sustainable on both sides of the ball with the talent, they made the improvements on defense that they need. And I trust Gannon.
So I like this Arizona team.

Speaker 1 Well, we don't have a lot of movies left.

Speaker 2 I can do one.

Speaker 1 What do you got?

Speaker 2 I have the Cardinals as Marked for Death is a kind of a ridiculous Steven Seagal movie in which he fights the, quote, Jamaican voodoo posse.

Speaker 1 Oh, no.

Speaker 2 And it's kind of like a dumb movie, but really likable. Like the Cardinals, very likable.

Speaker 2 And the comeback for Kyler to your point, House, to have an ascension to start him again this year, would be like Screwface's comeback after he gets his head cut off with the katana and he comes back to life

Speaker 2 to fight Hatcher. So I like Mark for Death.
It's not like one of the most famous cigar movies, kind of like the Cardinals, small media market, but talented.

Speaker 2 And there's still an arm-breaking bill over the shoulder, and it gives you what you want. Well, of course, there is.

Speaker 1 It's a cigar movie. It's the only one out of the uh, we haven't done that in Under Siege 2 out of the cigar catalog.
Those are the two, unless we

Speaker 1 probably in season 15 of the rewatchables when we talk ourselves into executive decision. Yes, and on deadly ground

Speaker 1 on deadly ground, we might actually have to do. Uh, I like Mark for Death for them, that's good.
I actually had Mark for Death for the next team. oh no

Speaker 1 kyle's up

Speaker 2 um all right

Speaker 2 we're really deep now i only have a few teams left we are we on 16 is this the last team i think we have two teams left and i can't believe one of the teams hasn't been picked yet we only have

Speaker 1 we have the rams

Speaker 2 on the table i i have the saints at 16. So who's 50? Who's left?

Speaker 1 The Rams. The Rams are 15.
You have to take the Rams. How did that happen? Yeah.

Speaker 2 All right. Well, listen, I believe in the Rams way more than this.

Speaker 2 And here's my take. And this is nuclear.
I said you believe in the coaches. I think Sean McVay is the best coach in the NFL.

Speaker 2 House, if they said that Matthew Stafford was out for the season, I would still think the Rams are fighting for a wild card with Garoppolo.

Speaker 1 That's my take.

Speaker 2 I believe in McVay that much and their defense and their run game. I just think he's the best coach in the league.
I do.

Speaker 2 I don't know how they're not.

Speaker 1 Hadn't they fought a 15 on our list? It's just that uncertainty. I mean, I think I kicked 15 teams because I I like the movie better.

Speaker 1 So, who's your movie for this one?

Speaker 2 I don't know. What's left? We have only a couple of movies left, right? I already used Gymcada.
I used,

Speaker 2 what's left? Anybody?

Speaker 1 Well, Above the Law is left. Under Siege 2 is left.
They're down here because you dummies put the Panthers and the Giants all the way up. I did that.

Speaker 1 I did that. That's it.

Speaker 1 It looks like we only have Under Siege 2 and Above the Law left.

Speaker 2 Well, I had Above the Law for the Browns because many of their players think they are. But

Speaker 2 I went,

Speaker 2 let's go Dark Territory Under Siege 2, Bill, for something. You know why?

Speaker 2 Because I've never seen that movie before, and I have never seen the Sean McVay Jimmy Garoppolo Rams or the injured back Matthew Stafford Rams. But I still kind of believe in it.

Speaker 1 Okay. So what movie did you do? Under Siege 2?

Speaker 1 Under Siege 2. Okay.
I've never seen it.

Speaker 1 You've never seen Under Siege 2?

Speaker 2 I refuse to watch it. It's like I don't watch the hangover sequels.
I don't want to watch that. I like the original only.
My relationship is strong. It's on a train.
People say it's not very good.

Speaker 2 I'm out.

Speaker 1 Who said it's not very good?

Speaker 2 Many. That movie is like, Under Siege 2 is not well liked.

Speaker 1 In this house? Under Siege 2? In this house, it's liked?

Speaker 2 I have never seen it. Sell me on it.

Speaker 1 It's Under Siege 2.

Speaker 1 I mean, for 15 years, it was on all the time, and Under Siege 1 was never on. So Under Siege 2 was like,

Speaker 1 all right, there's not the beer i wanted left in the fridge but there's that beer left i'll drink that that was under siege two like forever because under siege i don't like it's like uh tommy lee jones like made it disappear from cable for

Speaker 2 it's like i've never seen us marshals the fugitive sequel i don't watch it i don't care i like that that i can defend you on yeah

Speaker 1 all right

Speaker 1 new orleans Here we go. That's our last team.
Do you think this is the worst team in the league?

Speaker 2 It's just, what is the plan here? Like they, they don't have a quarterback, right? So every other one, everybody else kind of does. So their defense is good.

Speaker 2 Like they have really good defensive players, but I just, I, I, new head coach, no quarterback. What are we doing? People think they're going for Arch Manning.

Speaker 1 Horrible organization, poorly run.

Speaker 1 I don't think there's any scenario where they're not the worst team in the NFC. I'd be shocked.
I have adjusted alt-unders on them already, House, on FanDuel.

Speaker 1 You can bet them to win three wins or less, two wins or less. And I'm not giving them a good action movie.
So we're going to have to go to one of the worst action movies. What do you got? Ever.

Speaker 1 It's Stone Cold with Brian Bosworth. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Did the boss ever play for the Saints? That would have taken it to another level. Probably.

Speaker 1 Well, there was this era where they just, like Stallone and Schwarzenegger and Van Dom and all these guys got old, Segal.

Speaker 1 And we were just like, we need some new action. Maybe it'll be Brian Bosworth.
And it's like, you know what? It's not going to be Brian Bosworth, actually.

Speaker 1 It will definitely 100% not be Brian Bosworth. It's a really bad movie.
I can't defend it. I wouldn't watch it if it was on right now.
And I think New Orleans is going to be bad. So

Speaker 2 our guy, William Forsyth, aka Richie from Out for Justice in Stone Cold, in which Brian Bosworth goes undercover with a biker gang. It's awful.
Just not even fun, awful, just awful.

Speaker 2 How has she ever seen Stone Cold?

Speaker 1 I don't think that I have. I think ironically.
I've only seen it once.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I've watched it. I think, ironically, it's in New Orleans.
Is it possible?

Speaker 2 I don't remember.

Speaker 1 Baby dot. I don't think that's that one.
Great. It's bad.

Speaker 1 What's funny is Stone Cold Steve Austin then came in and took Stone Cold and like turned and that became and it's so like it even made it go away even faster and more violently.

Speaker 2 At the same time, Vanilla Ice was in a movie called Cold is Ice, which is also like, what are we doing with all the cold? It's very strange.

Speaker 2 And none of them were good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so that was 1991

Speaker 1 that came out. Stone Cold, a street smart cop goes undercover to infiltrate and bring to justice a ruthless motorcycle gang before they can carry out their plans of tyranny and murder.

Speaker 2 Do we have some Lance Hendrickson in there too, Bill? I think he might show up.

Speaker 1 He's in everything back then. Yeah.
Yeah, we did. I thought so.
I thought so. Our lead lady was Arabella Holzbog.

Speaker 1 That was it for her.

Speaker 2 That's her character or the actor.

Speaker 1 She played B.

Speaker 1 All right, that's it. So our big fuck up here is the Rams are not going to be the 15th best team in the NFC.

Speaker 1 I don't know how we ended up, but I also think that speaks to how good the NFC is compared to the AFC. Like we got to the AFC, there's seven teams left and you don't like any of them.

Speaker 1 You get to the NFC, it's like, all right, Carolina, maybe the Giants. Like you could really do some talking.
So there you go. Kyle, did you have a good time?

Speaker 2 I had the best time. I'm trying to think of the one that was the most satisfying.
I liked the Cowboys as last action hero and I liked the Ravens as action Jackson.

Speaker 2 Guys, this was, I could have done this for three more hours. I love it.
Let's do MLB and NBA teams, too.

Speaker 1 My highlight

Speaker 1 the NBA. I took Rocky IV, even though it had already been taken with the first pick of the draft, but I took it anyway.
I just didn't care. Guess what?

Speaker 1 Cowbray, great to see you. We could see a good morning football and all over the place and definitely on the rewatchables, too.
We're already talking about the next one. Thanks for coming up, buddy.

Speaker 2 My pleasure. Great times, KB.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to insult any of your ex-colleagues. I'll say that for the next pod.
Who would it be?

Speaker 1 We'll do a draft.

Speaker 1 I know who the number one selection is. I don't.
Sorry for that pod. Sorry, Pete.
Bye, Cobra. Bye, guys.
See ya.

Speaker 1 Oh, that was awesome. So fun, Bill.
Thank you. Yeah, really fun.
Thanks for sticking around so much.

Speaker 1 Of course.

Speaker 2 This was a great time.

Speaker 2 Many times.

Speaker 1 All right. Thanks, guys.
See you, KB.

Speaker 1 All right. So that was it for the big, the movie.
Hey, I'll give it a B plus. I had a good time.

Speaker 1 I mean, I was. It's hard to keep track of while also hosting it and coming up with the teams, but I thought we did a good job.

Speaker 1 I want to see the rankings of

Speaker 1 I think the Rams were the big mistake. Somehow, I don't see them falling to fit.
Well, the Rams and the Cardinals.

Speaker 1 I think both of those teams just Carolina and the Giants ascended, but this is what happens in football.

Speaker 1 The big thing is, so on Thursdays, you're going to be on my Thursday podcast.

Speaker 1 We're launching Ringer Gambling Show this week, relaunching Ringer Gambling Show this week, and you're going to be on that on Monday and Wednesday.

Speaker 1 And on Thursday, we're going to launch this gimmick called Ringer 107,

Speaker 1 where we are going to make 107 football picks for the 22 weeks of the NBA, of the NFL season. 22? Three.
23? Yeah. Yeah.
Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 So five picks a week, and it's going to be four straight-up picks, and then one has to be a teaser parlay around even odds.

Speaker 1 I'm going to do two.

Speaker 1 We're going to agree on two together, and then you're going to do the fifth one, and we're going to be a team, and we're actually going to compete against some other ringer people.

Speaker 1 And Fando is going going to put odds of us going head to head and all that. And the goal is like 107 picks total for the season.
I'm not doing million dollar picks for this season. And

Speaker 1 we're hoping that we can go 60 and 47 would be the dream. Can we get to 60 wins? What's a good, what's a record that you would be delighted by? 58 and 49? Yeah, I want to get around 54, 55%.

Speaker 1 That's how you win at football picking. So I feel like we should be able to do that.
It feels like we should be able to, but it's

Speaker 1 come on. So, yeah, so that Thursday night pod, we'll be doing our picks.
We'll be using those lines. The lines are going to freeze on Thursday morning for all the shows.
And we'll be doing Ringer 107.

Speaker 1 And that's what we're going to be doing. But we'll talk more about that.
The next time you're going to be in here is

Speaker 1 that Thursday. I mean, after Tommy Fleetwood wins a PGA tournament, anything's possible.
Man, he did it. Thank God.
Thank God for Tommy.

Speaker 1 He took out the check that he won today is enough for all of the tournaments that he should have won combined. He made all the money back.
He did.

Speaker 1 and then we spent we spent the weekend with jacko amazing um and we watched uh we watched the yankees red sox we watched two of the games and he started drinking at 10 54 in the morning he he he wanted to know when we could go to the bar after the first four innings i mean i'm probably jink as we're recording this right now the red socks are playing the yankees but uh but we had a good time doing that we saw cousin sal we saw rob stone we we we had uh a lot of the greats we had a fun uh fun trip and then the other thing is we're doing this ringer fantasy football draft

Speaker 1 that we're doing on Monday, which is tomorrow in person. Yahoo! You have a team.
I have a team. We're going head-to-head.
We're doing the whole thing. Fun.
So it's football time. It's officially now.

Speaker 1 It officially feels.

Speaker 1 This is my last Sunday podcast without the cuz.

Speaker 1 People can't wait.

Speaker 1 We'll have it. So thanks for doing the movie draft.
Thanks for pretending you've seen any of these movies.

Speaker 1 Thanks to Gahau as well. Thanks to Subuti.
Thanks to Eduardo. And

Speaker 1 I will be back on this podcast, I think, Tuesday.

Speaker 1 But Thursday is going to be the big two-part over-under podcast with me and Sal. I'll be interested to see.
You guys swayed me on a couple teams today.

Speaker 1 I still haven't landed on my final outcomes, but it'll be interesting to see where we go. But I'm eager to hear.
Thanks, Salis. My pleasure.

Speaker 1 I don't have

Speaker 1 feelings with them.

Speaker 1 Must be 21 plus in president select states for Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18 plus in president, D.C. Gambling problem, call 1-800-gambler or visit rg-help.com.

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