A Goofy Cowboys Tie, the Reeling Ravens, a Crazy Sports Weekend, Guess the Lines, Mets Sadness, and Sox-Yanks With Cousin Sal

1h 50m
The Ringer’s Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to react to the overtime matchup between the Packers and Cowboys before discussing the players and teams that have won them over in the NFL through four weeks (4:40). Then, they guess the lines for Week 5 before talking about baseball, the Ryder Cup, and closing with Parent Corner (01:03:11).

Host: Bill Simmons

Guest: Cousin Sal

Producers: Chia Hao Tat and Eduardo Ocampo

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Transcript

This episode is sponsored by Uber Eats.

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The Bill Simmons podcast is presented by FanDuel Sportsbook.

We are also presented by the Ringer Podcast Network.

Put up a new Prestige TV podcast tonight, actually.

Episode four of Task broke it down.

Me, Joanna, Rob, you can hear that.

You can listen to the rewatchables on Monday night.

We started Redford Month.

We're starting at two days early before October.

But we are going to do the Sting as the first episode.

So that is what's coming.

Uh, unbelievable sports time right now.

Ryder Cup this weekend was really fun.

Check out Fairway Roland for the recap of uh everything that happened on that.

Baseball playoffs are coming.

We're gonna be covering that in the Ringer Gambling Show.

We're gonna be covering on the New York, New York podcast on Off the Pike with Brian Barrett as well, the Boston podcast that we have.

And

this week, it's it's just gonna be a lot of stuff going on because it's Red Sox Yankees, a huge huge huge monkey wrench for me personally uh i'm going to talk about it with sal a bit later but i really hate the yankees the red sox do not have as good of a team as the yankees so we have a crutch but losing to the yankees uh is my least favorite thing i think if i had to rank it yankees lakers are just at the very top of just pure hatred of franchises.

And then it really dips to another level after that.

Those are the two.

Those are the two I never would have let my kids be fans of.

I just really dislike both teams.

I wrote a bunch of columns about that over the years.

I wrote a whole thing about sports hate.

I really sports hate both of those teams, but I actually also genuinely hate the Yankees and the Lakers too, but especially the Yankees, especially growing up when they used to kick our ass.

year after year and then they were super arrogant about it.

And then everything finally flipped in 2004.

We came back from 3-0 and beat them.

And for the record, the Red Sox have won four World series in the 21st century and the yankees have only won one and uh it would be really nice to beat them when they are heavy favorites almost two to one favorites against the uh red sox so uh anyway go socks i've really enjoyed this season it's the first season i've thrown myself into um

really since 2018 where i was just watching everything and it was a really flawed really lovable red sox team that had one great starter um they traded Devers during the season, which was weird.

But then Roman Anthony showed up and all of a sudden was Ted Williams.

Then he got hurt.

Then it seemed like they weren't going to make the playoffs.

Then they somehow did anyway.

And there's just something spunky about them.

So it'll be interesting to see how it plays out in the playoffs.

There's a chance they just get wiped out.

There's another chance that they could be one of those weird baseball teams that had in October, all of a sudden you're like, how the hell is this team winning?

I don't know what to expect.

I'm just glad they're in it.

So go, Red Sox.

Can't wait for it.

We're going to talk to cousin Sal.

It is late Sunday night because we just had an overtime tie.

We're going to talk about that.

We're going to talk about week four NFL.

We're going to talk about Ryder Cup, baseball playoffs, parent corner, all coming up next.

Let's take a break.

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All right, we were recording.

It is 9:15 Pacific time and past midnight on the East Coast where Cousin Sal is, where he finished his roller coaster week.

Let's see.

The Mets died.

Oh, the Ryder Cup USA team died.

The Cowboys tied.

And our cousin came back.

What a roller coaster.

We just watched a four-hour football game that ended with a team willingly saying, yeah, fuck it.

Let's have a tie.

40 to 40.

And yet it was a win for the Cowboys.

You must have been dreading this game all week.

We won the trade.

We won the trade.

It's over.

We won it.

See how easy that was?

Two firsts.

I was so so excited about the bad bunny announcement.

And then we get a tie out of this mess.

That was terrific.

But,

you know, you could say the Cowboys got lucky, but my God,

I don't know how much this game you want to talk about.

How lucky was LaFleur that there was one tick left and that the guy at the work and the clock wasn't half asleep and make it go off.

That was amazing.

Just amazing.

I was dumbfounded by the Packers.

You were down, you had like a fifth round, fourth string linebacker in the middle of the field who Collinsworth was just openly going, that guy doesn't know what he's doing.

And they're just running these bubble screens and side passes.

And they have craft.

They have all these receivers who go over the middle.

Every time they throw over the middle, it's complete for 8 to 15 yards.

And then when they need to run fourth down, they do it.

And then they start doing the bubble screens again.

I thought that game was such a loss for the Packers, as happy as I was for you that Dallas looked good.

Their defense was so bad.

I mean, they couldn't get a stop.

Their special teams was bad.

I thought their clock management was bizarre.

And then it almost ends with them botching it.

And it should have gone to zero.

Where was your clock guy?

I mean, honestly, like in high school and college, that game's over.

That guy can't come back.

I mean, Jerry needs to pay the clock guy $148 million.

That's where our next big payment goes there.

And by the way, speaking of, didn't it seem like in the beginning the Cowboys were kind of playing not to lose?

Then the offense like, you know, went into gear.

But I I think Jerry gave everyone a bonus.

Says, hey, if Parsons doesn't get a sack, offensive line, quarterback, running backs, blocking.

A million dollars each.

Everybody gets it.

I'll blow all the micah money right now.

I don't care.

And he technically, I guess, got a sack, but I was like, God damn, that better not be the story.

Him stopping Dak from scoring there.

And Green Bay comes down.

But it was a ridiculous game.

The crazy thing was he's doing interviews before the game.

Yeah.

It's like he's the last person who didn't realize that everybody hated that trade.

He's still talking about it, making cases for it.

And then, you know, the ultimate case was the most valuable guy in that team other than Dak is the kicker.

Would you trade Army for two first-round picks?

The guy's the biggest weapon in the league with these kickoff rules and how far everyone can kick field goals.

It feels like he's worth 20 yards a quarter, right?

Yeah.

Sure.

Like, and overtime, you're like, well, you got to get it.

They're going to score at least three.

They get one first down.

He's kicking a field goal.

So, you know, you need three to tie him.

We've seen some of these teams go from quarterback to backup quarterback and the line doesn't move at all.

I feel like if we had another kicker in there, the Cowboys line should go up a half a point or down a half a point in there.

And it's going to be great to see this guy hold out next August for all the money in the world.

That's why you have a great kick returner too.

I mean, it was

I thought special teams had a huge impact on this game.

You know, I was in a cab in Brooklyn and in between the late afternoon games and the night game.

And I'm coming back and everyone's like, Jerry was crying talking to to Jason Garrett.

He's saying, Oh, we should have won two Super Bowls.

I was like, Don't anyone send me this video because I will vomit all over my hotel room.

And some poor housekeeper.

Super Bowls with who?

With Jason Garrett.

Like the Super Bowl, the final game in the season.

That Super Bowl.

Yeah.

Not the bad bunny bowl, but yeah, the Super Bowl.

Who thinks they should have won two Super Bowls?

I don't even know if they should have made a Super Bowl.

I mean, with

the Romo botched where Garrett wasn't the coach for that.

No, no, no, no.

But, you know, we had some 13 wins.

We were right there for, if not for Eli.

But anyway, let's celebrate the tie.

Well, let's celebrate the fact that the Cowboys are entertaining.

They're not, I don't know, you're going to go, well, now you have a tie where you go 6, 10 and 1, 7, 8 and 1, 5, 11, and 1, whatever you're going to end up with.

But at least it's going to be fun to watch.

The other team's offense is going to move up down the field.

Your team can move up down the field.

Lamb will come back soon.

Pickens, that was the best game I've ever seen him play.

I thought he was dominant.

Javante Williams, who you took a flyer on, I thought he was really good too.

I got to be honest, I didn't really feel like there was a difference between the two teams.

Did you?

Yeah.

Like watching that game for four hours, I didn't really feel.

I felt like they were right near each other, which is a bad sign for a team we were sending to the Super Bowl two weeks ago, myself included.

I think our offense is good.

I don't want to praise our defense at all, but I do feel like there are certain games this team's going to get up for.

We got up for the Eagles game opening night.

We didn't win that game, but we got up for it.

We made sure we didn't lose to the Giants, although we played piss-poor football, and we were going to get up for this one.

I don't know what that says for the rest of the year, but I think you're right.

They're going to be entertaining.

You know, I don't think NBC or anyone will be embarrassed putting them in primetime because they'll score points.

No.

Plus, we had the

Chiefs were finding a little bit entertaining today.

New overtime rules.

That was the first time we've had had those.

I don't know.

I don't know if I liked it.

I don't know.

I think it should have been 12 minutes if we're going to do each team gets a possession.

10 minutes is a little late because what happens is the Packers, they give up a field goal.

Then they just basically stonewall it and they make it.

So either we tie.

That's not fun.

I didn't feel like it.

It didn't feel like sudden death to me.

It felt like sudden nap.

Yeah, but this this wasn't an exact.

The Cowboys didn't score a touchdown.

They kicked a field goal.

It's been like that for years.

If you kick a field goal.

I know, but

I just didn't like it in general because even if the Cowboys scored, the Packers were still going to get the ball back with their chance to go down.

I didn't feel like it was as tense as I wanted it to be.

That's my point.

I never felt like I was like, oh, my God.

Oh, they got it.

It was like, oh,

this was never felt that way.

I feel like here's something I'll say is,

you know,

the way you think about it is, oh, if you win the toss you play on defense right because you want to see what the team does you want to see what you have to do in the second possession i didn't like that either

i don't know if that's the case anymore if you have an exhausted defense you're putting them out there right away and the cowboys move the ball down the field and the cowboys defense was probably equally as tired had about 15 good minutes to re-energize you know otherwise and the packers maybe score a touchdown if they get the ball first yeah i didn't like that i just didn't feel like there was the same urgency to the quarter like first of all you're deferring which everybody, they did a lot of stories on that before the year.

And it's like, probably slightly makes sense to be second because then you have the option of going for two and trying to whatever if both teams score a touchdown.

Yeah.

But I don't know.

I would want the ball first.

Dallas had been on the field for a while.

Momentum is weird.

Yeah.

I didn't like it.

I think.

If you're going to have both teams can score a touchdown, like let's make it 12 minutes.

Let's make the game longer.

10 minutes is just, I don't know.

I don't like a tie.

I didn't love that.

I didn't love that the Ryder Cup could have maybe ended in a tie.

I was like, really, we're going to watch 72 hours of golf and it's going to end in a tie.

Like, we can get rid of all these ties.

It's plenty of stuff.

The Ryder Cup had this wrinkle nobody even really knew about that Hobbins.

It's like, yeah, I'm hurt.

It's like, ah, looks like we split the half.

It's like, what?

The guy can't play.

Why don't you lose the half?

Yeah, I guess we benefited off that in 91 or something, but yeah, I don't want to do.

There are some dumb golf rules too.

So what would be your dream overtime rule?

Like, how would you do it because i didn't like what happened tonight whatever that was i didn't love it um

my dream overtime rule is that they do away with it so we could have started this at 11 30 instead of 12 20.

come on you'll have a slice of pizza at 1 30 in the morning you'll be not kidding you're not freaking kidding i don't know i i i still haven't heard one that's perfect honestly yeah what would you do i would have gotten two more minutes i think it should be

12 minutes yeah because then that's enough time for two long drives.

You get the two timeouts.

And then if you're the Packers where you're like, ah, whatever, we'll just tie.

You're not worried about Dallas getting the ball back because you can do what they did, which is just basically kill the clock.

I didn't like that.

I'm good with adding time.

I don't think it's a danger thing anymore.

You got half the players wearing helmets the size of the sphere.

So it's, we're good.

We could play two more minutes.

The Packers are playing blackjack.

They're just surrendering over and over again.

Ah, surrender.

Ah, one more.

Very strange.

So you didn't like the two-point.

I don't think you.

I take it, you didn't like the two-point conversion being run back.

Well, the extra point being blocked.

You weren't a fan of that.

You know what?

I wasn't a fan of.

They scored and it's 13-0.

And I had a great day today.

And this was like the Packers and some Moneyland parlays.

It was the Capper.

And I went and I got myself a nice thing of hot water.

Three minutes.

I'm talking to my son in the kitchen.

Come back with my glass of hot water with a little lemon in it.

And it's 13 to 2.

Yeah.

And I'm like, did I like have a stroke?

What?

How what?

Did I miss a safety?

And so now I'm rewinding.

And I mean, that never happens, that two-point thing.

They said it happened 15 times in the last 11 years.

I don't remember any of the times.

Do you?

Like maybe once?

No, it never happens.

Nothing never happens.

A football fan drinking hot water with lemon.

What's the matter?

Are you sick or something?

Huh?

What's wrong with having hot water with lemon?

What's right with it?

Hot water and lemon.

You deserve that cold cream run back.

Oh my God.

I had some pizza today.

I wanted to send some hot water down the pipes.

Oh, my God.

Wow.

How dare you?

No, it's good.

It's good.

You were complaining on Tuesday night because I wanted to get milkshakes and you didn't want to get a milkshake.

I know.

You wanted to share a milkshake with Rob Mills.

You wanted to share a milkshake with another grown man.

You're making fun of me.

I can't can't breathe at the end of these meals.

It's not, I still want hot water and lemon.

I would never be seen.

Well, the hot water is making me hot and sweaty right now.

So I'm probably going to have a stroke as we do this.

Well, Green Bay,

I'm pretty lukewarm.

I know they'll get a couple of receivers back.

They'll get a little healthier on the defensive side.

But for the most part, the impact of the Parsons thing was not what we had in our heads so far.

Definitely far from what we saw week one, right?

Like against Detroit.

Like, oh, this team's not, you're going to be lucky to get 10 points against this team at all.

I'm looking at the divisions.

You want to guess?

For NFC North?

North, yeah.

I think Detroit has to be favored now, probably minus.

I haven't looked at this.

I would say Detroit minus 140.

Detroit plus 140.

Green Bay.

Sorry.

Oh, yeah.

No, I would have said minus 140.

Yeah, yeah.

Green Bay's even.

Detroit plus 140.

So Green Bay's favored still.

Yeah.

Barely favored.

I don't know.

And they have to play in Detroit.

Yeah, yeah.

So who would you have in the NFC right now?

In the whole NFC?

If you had to pick an NFC team.

That's the Eagles.

I hate it.

It's the Eagles.

Yeah, isn't it?

They had no completions in the second half.

I know.

I know.

They're laughing at all of us.

They just love to fuck with us.

Let's play a game of win you over.

Oh, I'm going to throw some things at you, and you tell me if you were one over or not.

All right.

I'm going to throw some hot tea with lemon at you.

Now there's no lemon in this one.

It's just hot water.

Look.

At least put it in a Big John stud glass or something.

You got to hold it.

This is going to be us in the nursing home 25 years from now.

You're making fun of me with the hot water.

Put your lemon away.

Win you over.

Did the Chiefs win you back today?

Yeah, they did.

Yeah, okay.

They did.

Yeah.

I think they were laughing at all of us, much like the Eagles do offensive with their offensive game call.

But

I don't know, man.

I mean, they have receivers like dancing.

Like, all right, you, you barely break 17 points any week, and you guys are dancing around.

Then, like, I don't know.

Do you think it's a combination of the Ravens defense being abysmal?

Bottom three?

I thought it was a good sign how they played today.

I didn't understand the line this week, especially when all the Baltimore injuries came out.

I thought it probably should have been closer to Pickham.

With that said,

I just thought Baltimore was decimated.

I think Carbon knew it.

Some of the usage with Henry was pretty strange, where he just wasn't in there on these third and two, third and ones.

Where I feel like in January he will be.

And I thought the announcers did a good job of talking about it.

When he's out there, you have to play like he's going to move your linebacker.

And when he's not out there, you can just play everything completely different.

So I just felt like they kind of knew they weren't going to win the game.

And they went pretty vanilla.

And Lamar tweaked his hamstring and they were just like, all right, he's out.

It just, it was like they just felt like they didn't, they weren't going to win and they didn't, they didn't really want to go for it.

That was my take.

Yeah.

I mean, you're not wrong.

I just, this is two weeks in a row.

We saw Lamar not be able to break contain, right?

And maybe you're right.

Maybe they're just showing vanilla offense because they knew they were going to be stuck today.

But

yeah, that the Chiefs are, you know,

once the Chargers lost to the Giants, I'm like, oh, I get it.

I get it.

Now the Chiefs are going to win.

They're going to be a game out and they still have the game at home against the Chargers.

Now I understand football.

Kyle Hamilton had a really weird quote.

Let me see if I can find it.

It was the only thing that made me feel weird about

maybe something's going on with the Ravens.

He said, I just want to apologize to the fans.

The product that we're putting in the field right now, not up to par with what the Raves have been in the past and recent past.

We're trying our best to correct it, but obviously something's wrong.

It's their best guy on defense.

Now they're missing seven guys.

It's going to take a while for everybody to come back.

And they feel like they do this every once in a while.

But the difference this time around, going one and three,

apparently that's only happened twice in the last 25 years for them in 05 and 15.

They didn't make the playoffs.

And more importantly, their defense is on pace to allow 560 points.

Wow.

That seems like a problem.

Yeah.

That's a lot.

They're 560 for 17 games, you know,

and they just don't get stops.

They seem slow.

And I would be like, Mallory is freaking out.

She thinks they might be the year from hell team,

which brings up the point that we don't have the year from hell team obvious yet and they're probably the favorite right they're minus 150 to be the year from hell team

no

they're kind of coming off the year from hell so you could double you could maybe you can assume that it might happen again yeah i was thinking about it so just taking it down the the ladder a little bit like i don't think lamar could be in the conversation with allen before this game even to be mvp because like after last week's performance like well they're going to lose five games they're not going to to be a top two seed.

Now I'm not even sure they win that division.

Like, you know, what do we have for the odds there?

Do you have that?

Baltimore's minus 210.

I would, I would not take, I don't know if there's value in the Steelers plus 280, but I had no way I would take the Ravens at minus 210 at this point.

So Steelers have a two-game lead on them and one of the biggest, shiniest horseshoes up their ass that I've seen in recent years.

Just, it's unbelievable.

We're going to talk about them later.

I think there's a real issue with the Ravens with all these injuries and the fact that

the bigger thing is their schedules,

you know,

it was one of like the three or four schedules we were kind of worried about heading into the year.

We were wondering if they would go two and two to come out of this and then kind of write the ship and do what they do.

But

I don't know.

I guess the one thing with them is the division, I don't think, now that Burrow's out, Cleveland can't score.

There's already like, are they going to change QBs stuff with them?

And I continue to not think Pittsburgh is good.

I don't care.

They can go 16 and one.

And I'm just not buying them this year.

I was in on them last year.

I don't see it this year.

Do you?

I'm with you, but they're going to win games like this, like today, right?

Like, I don't want to give them too much credit, but

their offense isn't imaginative at all.

They move the ball a little better.

But, you know, I go back and forth.

They have wins against Justin Fields and Drake Mabey and Carson Wentz.

And I'm like, but I'm not betting them to win the AFC North, right?

And they have the Browns and Bengals next.

They could be five and one, this team.

They seem so easy to stop.

Rodgers is just quick throwing everything.

I don't understand why teams don't just move everybody up.

Like, they're not trying to test anybody down the field at all.

I don't think they run the ball particularly well, although Gainwell was pretty good today.

And they just get these turnovers every game.

I mean, the Jags are the other team that are just getting turnovers left and right, and the Steelers are getting them.

But the game today, like the right tackle and the center and the Vikings were out by the second quarter.

Like, you just kind of knew.

All right.

Carson Wentz with a, with a triple-A offensive line, like, this isn't going to go well.

And then they're playing in Ireland, which is supposed to be, you know, their foreign country neutral site.

It's like 95%

Steelers fans there.

And it felt like a real home game.

And it seemed like it was loud there, too.

So

I just don't see it.

I thought the Pats should beat them last week, like, like convincingly.

So.

Yeah.

I mean,

they're probably somewhere in between what we saw today.

I still don't like the quality of quarterbacks they're facing.

Like, Wentz, you know, we get, we fall in love with some of these backups.

Like, Wentz won last week.

They, they crushed Cincinnati.

Well, look what Cincinnati did the week before.

They won, and we like Browning, right?

Like, it doesn't, you can't count on these guys to play consecutive games, you know, above par, I think.

Yeah.

I mean, Wentz and Mariota were two people

I didn't bet on Washington.

Yeah.

Two quarterbacks you could have bet on today

and felt good about that until you're watching the game you're like oh

i bet on marcus mariota what what did i do right um

did uh

did the jaguars win you over

were you with that how much of that game did you watch no i watched a lot of it and i uh

you know i have to stick with them because i picked them to win that stupid division and um but they three and one i don't know if it's stupid plenty of times they look to give that game away, right?

That just seems to be the thing.

Like, will the clock expire before they do enough stupid shit?

Whether it's Trevor Lawrence going out of bounds, you know, when he should be trying to kill the clock.

But I think you said it earlier.

Like, they have three or more turnovers in all four games.

They had four today.

And Eric Armstrong.

13.

13 totally.

Yeah.

So that'll keep them in every game if that keeps up.

But it's also kind of flukish.

They had nine total last year.

They have 13 already this year through four.

They lead the league.

Pretty good.

I've actually just randomly, I think, have watched every Jaguars game.

I think I've had money on three of them.

There are a couple, you know, dopey turnovers that are like, oh, that was stupid.

But they, there was somewhere they, you know, they caused the turnover and they are aggressive and they do fly around and they make plays.

So at some point, it's a real thing.

I want to point out their dumb Jake Brownie drive away from being 4-0.

Right?

Right.

For sure.

Their best player has 12 catches and zero TDs in four games, Thomas.

Their stud mega rookie, who they traded all that shit for, has 10 catches and zero TDs in four games.

And for some reason, it's working.

Etn is like really,

really,

like, he murdered my fantasy team last year, but he's got the juice back.

And I don't know.

They've gotten some special team stuff.

Their coach tried to fight Robert A.

Kid Sala

after the game.

I enjoyed that.

And I can't find seven AFC playoff teams.

So they might make it.

I mean, they might get to nine and make it.

They could beat out Baltimore for a wild card at this point, even if they don't win the division.

It's getting that weird.

I think

I don't want to say they won me over,

but I am taking them seriously as like I bet on them today they won.

Like, I do think they're competent.

I think they're slightly above the middle of the road.

I feel the same way about them in the Pats.

The Niners,

is there a three-in-one team you like less than the Niners right now?

Let me see.

They looked awful today.

What's Denver?

Are they two and one?

They could be three and one or no?

Three and one teams are.

I'll give them to you.

Pittsburgh, Jacksonville, Indy, Chargers,

Detroit, Tampa, San Francisco,

Seattle, and the Rams.

I mean, we're probably going to get to this on your list there, but Indy is,

I think I would take San Francisco over Indianapolis.

Okay.

Not by a lot, but they just they just look like they want to do anything stupid to lose.

I mean, that Adonai Mitchell play.

Sorry.

That's what's the equivalent of that.

He cost up 14 points.

The one, the touchback one is the one I love.

Yeah, that was tough.

I felt bad for him because

I didn't, it wasn't like a Deshaun putting the ball out and doing a dance.

Like he was about to cross the line and he was going to hold it up, which every guy does.

But for some reason when he did it he had like a spasm yeah it was a little

foolish yeah it wasn't the deshaun thing is still like the all-timer when they drop it before they hit the goal line those are the stupidest you those that wasn't yeah that wasn't that but i mean is this it go on in any other workplace really like at the ringer if someone wrote an article and then juggled his computer in celebration then dropped it into a staircase three floors like you're like fucking asshole don't ever talk to me again right what do you what are you doing you flew to to new york you forgot your cord yeah that's true that was like an donal mitchell could

go to amazon and

and send you a new recorder oh what an idiot here's the thing with the niners special teams week after week they're in the bottom three or five right they gave up a huge punt a huge kick return this week um they had the field goal stuff from miller in the air it just feels like they they've just never solved that they just lose points they're like the anti-dallas they've already had a bunch of injuries and they have not had the mccaffrey injury yet and they're rushing by the way what do you think they're rushing yards per carry the the vaunted niners running attack i think it is this year four two

three three

really second to last in the nfl

and they're playing thursday right playing seattle so they could be three and two and headed the wrong way and play the rams thursday yeah yeah or the rams yeah yeah yeah

so i don't know who's your favorite nfc west team I think you're right because it's like we haven't seen the end of their injuries.

And Purdy, like you and I, we went back and forth with Purdy so much.

I did it again.

I went, I'm back against.

But now you'll see it within the games.

Like you'll see him make a great throw.

And then you're like, oh my God, then what is he thinking with that interception?

Like just within the same game, like that's that's new.

uh purdy all right let's look at this um he makes some plays that i i'm just like i gotta go get some hot water and lemon i just can't believe he did that

that's a double lemon it's a double lemon just thrown to traffic by purdy yeah so can i get i haven't looked at the nfc west lines can i guess sure yeah because we have three three and one teams and then arizona is two and two two and two yeah

i'm gonna say the rams are favorite to win the nfc west and probably in the plus 140 to 150 range very good plus 135.

i'm gonna say the niners are second just because there's a bunch of money in them already, but it's probably higher, like plus 190.

165.

I think Seattle's under 2-1, probably plus 190.

Oh, all right.

So that's the team you got to bet.

And I like them too.

They're four to one.

Now, I guess they were like almost eight to one last week, but I don't think they cut that enough.

They were five to one before the season because I bet it.

After week one, they went to 10 to 1, 11 to 1 in some spots.

Yeah.

8 to 1 after week two.

So now it's still 4 to 1.

4 to 1.

You know, whatever.

I think Seattle's a good team.

Well, we were cursing that coach all Thursday night on text.

We were very upset with their decisions.

A lot of good coaches made weird decisions this week.

I just think he's like, do you ever have those family members or friends who are just like the overprotective parents?

where they're just like, you're going somewhere and the kids have to be in a car seat and just like completely over the top.

I just think that's how he treats offense.

He's like, better be careful.

Put Donald in a car seat.

It's 33.

He just, he's so scared of anything, of having the offense fuck things up.

He either really believes in his defense or just doesn't understand offense because this is two out of the four weeks.

He just seemed terrified to let his offense win a game for him.

Yeah.

And then by the goal line, making weird calls.

Kenneth Walker never gets a ball at the goal line anymore.

And nobody does their kickers any favors.

Like everybody, nobody wants to go for touchdowns anymore.

It's like, all right, let's get him to the 36-yard line.

Let's see what he's got.

Let's take a break and then we're going to play more win-you-overs.

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All right.

I have a couple more win-you-overs.

This was my number one win-me-over guy.

I want to see if you felt the same way.

Did Ashton Genti win you over as a top six pick today?

Um, yeah, this is a departure of what we said just last week, right?

Literally, seven days ago.

We were like, Man, when you have that many holes, I don't know.

That's the luxury picks.

Like, I believe that when I said it.

I've watched a lot of him.

He's getting blasted behind the line of scrimmage.

So, his bad carries are not his fault at all, I don't think.

For the most part, that offensive line is

decrepit.

And had injuries today, too, right?

But when he breaks them, man, he's he's rock solid.

So, yeah, he's back.

He's back in my eyes.

Won me over.

I thought he was the best player I watched today in any of the TVs.

Wow.

He was either getting blasted behind the line and somehow fighting his way back to the line of scrimmage.

He was, I don't know how many guys, I can't wait for the stats.

I don't know how many guys he made miss today, but it had to have been,

it felt like 20.

He's just so dangerous.

He can catch it.

I just felt like he found his footing today.

I felt in the other games, he just seemed kind kind of small to me.

And today he was just like,

I thought he was overpowering today.

I thought he was awesome.

And that was

a really, really, really, really horrible Raiders loss.

Yeah, I was going to say plays for losers.

That's a problem.

Yeah,

I'm out.

I had them begrudgingly as my seventh seed.

And it was like, do you go Jacksonville?

Do you go Wendy?

Like, who do you have to go nine and eight?

And I was like, I have fucking Vegas.

They're not making the playoffs.

I feel very comfortable predicting that right now.

You're out on the raiders.

You don't think this is a hasty decision?

Wow.

Okay.

No.

We need to have Gino has seven picks in four games, by the way.

I know.

We need to have a real combo about Pete Carroll

because they're one of the three worst coach teams.

They do really stupid game management stuff.

They seem unprepared.

They're sloppy.

I just don't agree with stuff.

I don't know how they beat the Pats in week one because I think the Pats are just better than them.

When he went on third and two, again, setting his kicker up for a shitty long field goal.

Because there's this common misconception that everybody makes field goals, like, no, there's a bunch that are blocked, and there's a bunch that just miss.

You know, it still happens, but they cut away to him like right after the run play, the week run play, and he's like, that was a bad call.

He actually, you could see his mouth goals, like, yeah, yes, Pete, yes, you're getting it.

Yeah.

Well, I wonder, like, with him and Belichick, because I've been thinking about this with Belichick, and we even talked about it a little last week.

Like, I wrote this column for ESPN, it must have been in,

I don't know, late 2000s.

I did the speed limit corollary about when coaches hit 55.

I remember that.

That they started tailing out.

And I had all this data.

And it was like Don Shula, Chuck Noll, Tom Landry, all these people when they hit a certain age.

And then, you know, as we, we have better stuff now.

We have hot tea with lemon and creatine and all these things, HGH, all these different ways, mind exercises.

But maybe we're really pushing it when we get to the mid-70s.

Like it might be, it might be too much.

And I can only judge it from the people in our life who have hit that age.

And you have a few relatives in that age or higher.

And it's just like, I just don't know if they should be running an NFL team against people who are in their 30s, like Ben Johnson.

But then we get tricked, right?

Because he's doing push-ups with the special teams and training camp.

And he's chewing that gum faster than anybody's ever said, like, oh, man, maybe, maybe there's something in the gum.

And,

but, but, no, and the players like him.

So you want to make an exception in his case, but you're right.

Sometimes it's too old.

It's a tall task because it still seems like he's Pete Carroll, right?

He looks young and spry, but man, they look really, really sloppy.

And then this guy might be getting up at four in the morning and going to the facility every day.

So what the hell do we know?

But yeah,

they're just no different.

They're never any different.

Well, the weird thing is Tennessee is definitely the worst team in the conference.

Like they're really, really terrible.

Did not win me over.

Was that on your list?

I did not have them on the list.

Okay.

Jets, Miami, one of those teams may be terrible, maybe both.

And we'll probably have a better idea after tomorrow.

Cincinnati without Burrow might be terrible.

And then,

you know, the Browns.

You got to hate the Saints and the Panthers.

I'm just going AFC.

Oh, sorry.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The Browns, who their quarterback is just two, three picks every week.

They might be terrible.

It's just a lot of terrible.

So it's all surprises.

Yeah.

But yet, if you go to the NFC, it's only New Orleans and Carolina that I feel like are really bad.

I don't think the Giants are bad.

Giants jumped out of there.

Your team's not bad.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know what other NFC.

I guess the Bears aren't bad because they win, you know, against garbage teams like mine and

today.

Tennessee is really bad.

And we talked about Callahan Fire Tire,

Callahan, fires.

The Tommy Boy Titans.

Yeah, the Tommy Boy Titans.

Cam Ward finally laid into them.

Did the Bears show you anything that you liked today?

Because they are two and two.

I did watch a five-minute Bears locker room handing out the game balls.

Ben Johnson was like just doing a Sean McVay impersonation, gave one to...

gave one to uh the safety buyer gave one to um the guy who blocked the kick right and he was like it seemed like I told you,

he was doing that whole thing.

And it was like, you guys, you should have lost.

Like the Raiders, I don't know how they didn't win the game.

Don't get too excited.

He's going to have to give one to the reporter who asked him, what are you going to change?

Did you see that?

The female reporter

get in trouble.

Yeah.

It kind of sucks because there's only one question you could ask a coach that's losing coming out of the locker room.

And it's like, what are you going to do different?

But if you word it just differently and be like,

you got to, what are you going to change?

Come on.

Like, come on.

What's wrong with you?

You could see these guys getting mad, but no game ball.

She maybe should have audible and done like the.

So what do you think of Las Vegas?

Like, it's really changed, huh?

Exactly.

Are you a six to five?

Will you leave the table if you don't see three to two blackjack?

Because

why do you think tourism's down?

What would be your three takes?

I'm not sure about the Bears.

I didn't think Caleb played particularly well.

Their defense made a couple plays, but I just, it was almost a case that the Raiders were just kind of worse.

All right, next one.

Did Drake Maby win you over?

He was, he was great today.

This is maybe, though.

This is why he's maybe, right?

He's got to do it.

Go to Buffalo next week and do something similar.

Then, because right now it's just, yeah, maybe.

And I bet him over one and a half touchdowns today.

I thought this was a nice.

He lost Drake definitely.

Oh, come on.

That doesn't even flow.

Still Drake Maybe.

I know.

I can't wait to get.

You got a lot of shit for that?

Well, like, oh, look what he's doing.

It was a J-Pog even on our chain.

It's like, look, J-Bug was offended.

Yeah, he didn't like that.

All right.

Well, we all love Drake May.

There's some good Drake May stats now about his

stats three games in a row.

And it's like, the only other QBs under 23, Peyton Manning and Tom Brady.

Yeah, yeah.

He's on some weird lists.

But you know, when you can make these lists where you're like, only five other other QBs have ever done this.

But I mean, he's completing over 75% of his passes.

He's not turning the ball over that much.

He only had one dumb play today.

It didn't come back to Hunta.

But the thing that I loved about him today, because he knew they were going to win once they went up 14-6, there was a couple plays during the game.

There was one play that was a run out to the side.

when last year he would have put a shoulder and tried to get the extra yard and ended up getting like concussed.

And then there was another one on a scramble to the middle where he slid.

But it's clear that they've just banged home.

Don't take hits.

Don't take hits.

Don't take hits.

So he was like way more cautious about how he

put his body out there.

I thought he was excellent.

With that said, Carolina is terrible.

I mean, that's what I was going to say.

If you were to create the perfect get-right spot, wouldn't it be Carolina playing Carolina at home?

It was good.

After they won a game.

Right.

And the line was two points too low.

The line should have been over seven, I think.

Yeah.

No,

that's a good game for Vrabel.

I mean, I would have think Drake May, I'm not going to think he's terrible after this game, but Vrabel really

had this one.

Yeah.

Well, here's the thing.

They're going to Buffalo next week on a Sunday night, and they're playing a Buffalo team that the defense just looked awful.

And they've had some injuries.

They have two guys suspended that haven't come back yet.

But New Orleans was moving the ball up and down the field on them and was way more in that game than the final score showed.

I had a 13-point tease

with them that I was sweating out.

I sweat that one out too.

Yeah.

But I just, I think they're going to be able to move the ball on them next week.

I can't wait to guess that line because there's like a four-point cushion that I think that could go.

Oh, would you take a 40-40 tie next Sunday night?

You would take a 40-40 tie.

Would not want the ties.

Oh, stop.

A couple more win-you-overs really quick.

Did the Steelers win you over at all as a playoff team?

or do you think they're a rabbit team this year i think just by default because all these other

we just went over the afc teams that are dropping out but um

yeah because they're three and one so they could go six and eight and make the playoffs now or no six and seven and make the playoffs tomlin's streak seems to be intact right at this point it's oh man i mean his clock management was some of the worst stuff of the season today.

Right.

Yeah, for sure.

So not going for it on fourth and one

and then taking a delay game.

It's like,

what are you doing?

Like,

what do you think they are to make the playoffs?

Plus one.

Take a sip of water if you need.

Plus one

minus 130.

So they're favored now to be at least nine and eight or make.

Did you go under on them this year?

Because I know I did.

Yeah, but barely.

I went under.

I thought this was a year it breaks.

I got to hand it to what they're getting out of Rodgers.

Sure.

They're maximizing the three or four things he can do, and he looks way better than he did last year.

And

he's just getting rid of the ball anytime he has pressure.

But they have like eight, nine types of plays that they just do, and it's all quick, and he's getting rid of the ball.

He's never on the move.

And they know how to use it.

But I think as the year goes along, I think people are going to figure it out.

It's like watching.

Yeah.

He's yelling with Metcalf better than I thought he would, right?

Yeah.

Like that's you know, all these receivers that he made the Jets bring in and everything.

You didn't see that spark.

I kind of see it with Metcalf.

It's funny.

It reminds me a little of Tua,

where

it's just a certain type of thing.

And I think as Tua, the longer he's been doing the Dolphins, teams are getting more and more used to it.

And I just don't think they're used to it yet with Rogers.

The ball's coming out super fast.

And it's always either to the sides or right over the middle.

And he's never, it's it's just, he's playing so differently than he used to play.

Here's what I learned.

This is what won me over.

Don't bet on the overseas game.

Just don't.

House told me this on Thursday.

We were doing it for Ringer 107.

And House is like, I just want to point out we're betting on the 930 game.

And we've said we're not going to do that.

I'm like, all right, but I really love the Vikings.

Right.

Well, I had the Steelers, so I'm not going to

subscribe to that just yet.

The other guillotine league that I'm in,

we had Kenneth Gainwell on our bench.

We don't have good running backs and

woke up at 6.30.

You would have been proud of me.

I woke up, turned on TV.

There was 1455 left in the first quarter.

I was like, I fucking know it.

It was like 6.33.

And then they're like, there's Kenneth Gainwell, the starting running back, because no Jalen Warren today.

And I was like, oh.

And I just wonder how many people got hosed on the Jalen Warren thing because I got hosed by not putting Gainwell in our stupid guillotine thing.

But

how many people just had Jalen Warren in a starting lineup and woke up and he's just not there?

It's not good.

It's not, yeah, there wasn't enough heads up Saturday night for sure.

No, it wasn't Saturday night now.

All right.

Next win you over.

Did Ireland win you over as an NFL location?

I don't know.

I mean, we were doing the pregame show on YouTube.

I was going to watch that.

You should watch.

You should definitely stop watching.

I 100% watched it.

I had multiple TVs.

I i was watching it is hard we're up against the ryder cup and the nfl game but uh but so i didn't see a lot of the festivities i'm gonna have to pass on that

well they did so here's here's what i really loved other than i thought the crowd was loud and engaged

their version of sweet caroline in ireland is uh zombie by the cranberries oh really the whole crowd saying zombie And then weirdly, after the Ryder Cup, they're in the bus,

all the foreign team, European team, and they're singing zombie on the bus to Rory McElroy.

Shane Lowry's leading it.

This is like the biggest day zombies had in 30 years.

Yeah.

Huge zombie day, but

zombies make sense as like a

crowd size.

I mean, it's if you read the lyrics, it's pretty depressing.

It's a weird one to sing.

Yeah, and you got the

crowds.

Yeah, I can't say they did a great job.

That's better than Sweet Caroline.

Yeah.

The fantasy guys had a great time.

did Puka Nakua win you over as the new best wide receiver in the league?

Because I think it's official.

I think he has the best.

Here's what I'll say about what is it, 42 receptions in four games or something.

42 for 503 in four games.

I think

I used to think McCaffrey is the one guy.

If he's not in the lineup, I don't want anything to do with betting that team.

Now I think league-wide, I think it's Puka Nakua.

Like, if he's out, I don't know that any situation that I'd bet the Rams.

This guy is just such a

godsend for this team and Stafford.

42 receptions.

You know what's crazy?

It's all types of catches and plays.

Like, if you do the montage of his, he'll beat somebody down the sideline.

He'll have a crosser.

He'll have a bubble screen.

He'll have like a little 10-yarder in traffic.

Like, he's just amazing.

I agree with you.

I, what, what's cool about him versus Chase or Jefferson is you feel like those guys aren't going to be the same if they have the backup QB.

And I think with Puka, I honestly feel like with any QB, he'd go for like eight for 90 at this point.

Yeah.

He's just a monster.

He was awesome.

That game was awesome.

You mentioned the Mitchell thing before.

The Colts' past defense is going to be their Achilles heel if they're going to actually make a playoff run.

It's really bad to give up an 88-yard or to lose the game, basically.

And

their fans will remember that one as the mitch

you know jaden daniels obviously a much better athlete than danny times at this point but the the teams the last year's washington team and this year's colts washington didn't punt for like three weeks right remember last year and the colts punted once in the first three games and you just wonder when that's gonna end you know it's like it just uh it had to they had to be slapped around even though they should have won today

It was a, if you had the Colts, either Moneyline or plus whatever, like that was a pretty tough beat because they were, hung.

That was a 50-50 game.

Uh, I thought that Taylor, when on the holding penalty, where they're run that guy, he's just so fast, he's never looked better or faster.

Uh, the Mitchell touchdown was awesome, right?

So, you lose 14 points of plays, that just swings it.

That was a lot of big plays go against him.

Yep,

I will say I'm afraid of the Colts.

Like, I'm, I, I didn't really, I had the Rams like in a, like a, like a tease situation, but I didn't, I don't really like betting against the Colts.

I, they kind of scare me.

I think Warren's terrifying.

Yeah.

Are you going to score touchdowns from the backfield?

It's not good.

He's the best team.

Last one, win you over.

Did Jackson Dart win you over at all?

And did you watch the game today with any Giants fans?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

What was that?

Yeah, they were losing their minds.

Well, their takes was they're screaming at me for having the Chargers on a teaser, which I guess House and everybody warned us again.

And then I doubled up on them in the second half.

You didn't do that?

No,

I completely stayed away from the Chargers.

Darts

is out.

Neighbors is out.

And Dart's banging his hand against the helmets.

It's not even one of the soft helmets.

And then, you know, I was like, oh, man, they're down three.

They're going to win this game.

But that defense was much better than we've seen in the past.

And Scataboo, I mean, I see a ton of Scatabo jerseys out here, like just in Brooklyn.

Like, I think they like him more than like any prospect of Dart.

Like, I don't even think they care care if he gets like 700 yards and five touchdowns.

He's the guy.

Well, I mean, the first 45 minutes of that game for the Giants fans, that was like the greatest.

And then fucking Neighbors goes hurt.

Yeah.

I think

losing young Beckham and then losing young neighbors with season ending injuries fucking sucks.

No, I hadn't thought of that.

It's like completely unfair because at both at these awesome points of their career where it just seemed like every time they're throwing it up to him, it felt like anything was possible.

The Giants just, they've just had so much bad luck.

But I do think Dart,

even when he went out, he had this great scramble and they took him out for, I guess, the concussion spotter.

And fucking Russ came in.

And you feel the crowd was like, oh, no.

Russ, like, they, they just have to wave him.

But

no, it seems like they did.

I know,

I got to put Russ in now.

Shit.

I'm never going to be able to figure out this quarterback gauntlet.

I'm going to be jobless.

I'm right here.

Right here.

Yeah.

That draft, though, because Carter was awesome today.

If they had 20 pressures of the Chargers, but that's a different conversation is the Chargers Zo-line all got hurt, which was the biggest injury that happened today.

Other than the neighbors, he's out for a few weeks, it seems like.

There it is.

It's an ankle injury.

They said a few weeks already.

They said they were worried that it was going to be at least a couple of weeks.

So who knows?

But,

you know,

maybe that's the team.

One of these teams, Colts, Chargers, one of these 3-0 teams will end up not making the playoffs.

I'm like, oh,

it was 3-0.

We can't give them the division just yet, like a lot of people were with the Chargers last week.

All right,

just some random questions from some of the other games.

Philly.

who died in the heat, and you could feel that one coming.

That was a great second half bet.

They kept talking talking about the heat, they kept talking about how the Eagles bench was baking in the sun.

And it's like, and then you know, they're cutting over, the guys are dying.

But so Baker almost came back, but they just didn't have enough weapons.

But Chase McLaughlin made a 65-yard field goal today in that game.

What distance would actually impress you at this point with a field goal?

Because 20 years ago, like I went to see

the Broncos play in the late 90s with our buddy Gus,

and we saw Elon kick a 63-yarder

and it was in altitude, but it was like that we just couldn't believe it.

It was like the fucking moon landing.

We just couldn't couldn't believe how far it was.

And now this is so how far?

Is it over 70 for you that would get your attention?

What's the number?

72?

That was the outdoor record, right?

Today, 65 was the outdoor record.

And you're right.

Like, we just moved on to the next one.

It just wasn't.

Like, we wouldn't even be in the top 40 minutes of the sports center.

70 with 70?

I remember when Janakowski would do this, right?

And you're like, oh, maybe they should take a false start.

They're not winning any games this year anyway.

Maybe they should take a false start right before the half and he should kick it from.

Let him break the record.

I think 70, 71 or 72.

I think we're in the Barry Bonds range here.

It's got to be like...

Aubrey will home.

Aubrey will have a 70 at one point.

Right?

Yeah.

I think so.

I just, I don't understand.

I don't understand how this.

I know they did something with the balls, right?

They did you can massage your own balls and put weird.

Whoa, hey.

Yeah, no, it seems like it for sure.

You can tush, push.

You can massage your balls.

You can do it all.

Here's another one.

So Bijan had a 69-yard catch today, and they made a big deal about how he was 21.85 miles an hour on the run.

And then that Steelers linebacker caught Addison from behind, and they were like, oh, he was 21.3.

When did this start?

And

how could it end?

When can this stop?

Oh, you don't like it.

You don't like that?

I don't mean to be

a fart in church on this, but the difference between 20 miles an hour and 21 miles an hour, like,

is I'm going to be telling my grandkids about, oh, I got to 22.

I don't know.

Who cares?

You like it in your car, though, right?

You like the odometer?

You like being able to tell how much.

If I'm going 21 miles an hour in my car?

I'm not, I'm fucking pissed.

Somebody's, there's some old lady in front of me.

I thought it was cool with the Eagles blocking the kick.

I didn't think it was cool because I lost money on it with the Rams, but the fact that they clocked that guy at 19.

So for 300-pounders running 19.

Yeah, but you're right.

Otherwise, I don't know the difference between 20 and 30.

19, 20.

Just when you're driving around the next couple of days in Uber, just looking like, oh, 36.

Oh, now we're going 37.

Like these numbers are all around the same.

Yeah.

Like if somebody was going 25, I'd be like, oh, B.

John Robinson ran 25 miles an hour.

That's amazing.

But it seems like it's all in the 21, 22.

I don't know.

Maybe I'm too old.

I think we have to be, I don't know, like what an ostrich runs.

I want to compare it to animals.

I think then maybe we'd be more impressed, you know?

Like, oh, like, show like a bobcat?

Yeah, like a cheetah or a bobcat.

I want to see.

Or like a black bear.

They call Tyreek the cheetah, right?

But it's a

cheetah is probably a lot faster, isn't it?

i would assume i think a cheetah could be at 20 miles an hour yeah well

i i mean so they do the miles an hour thing but

heat is more interesting to me because they were like it's 90 but it's really 100 degrees on the field it's like well how hot is it exactly on the field and what like that's where instead of like mike pereira let's go to like some sort of scientist and be like okay

Jordan Davis is 330 pounds.

It's 100 degrees outside.

So the odds of him being dehydrated in two hours is actually like 90%.

What they're going to have to do is give him oxygen.

Like, now I'm actually learning something.

I like that.

You're telling me the difference between this guy runs 22 miles an hour and this guy runs 21 and a half.

Like, great.

What do I care?

Yeah.

Bill Simmons' water is 108 degrees.

If he throws a lemon in there, it goes down 140 degrees.

See, I'm drinking hot water and I have a lot of energy from the pod.

Maybe I know something.

More Washington Falcons notes.

I won money in the the falcons and their offense looked great they scored zero points last week they had 435 yards this week washton is banged up i think penix is the new geno because i feel like we're about to lose geno feels like we're the end of geno's career we lost gino

gino's gone but i think penix is going to be the new geno where game to game it's just going to be like fucking

It's like when we go to Bianco's and he's like, I've created a new pizza.

I'm just going to bring it out.

It's like,

anything's possible.

Oh, this is like your olive artichoke pizza.

I don't know if I like this.

Oh, my God.

He did pepperoni and sun-dried tomatoes.

And right.

I just think that's Pennex.

I think that's Pixenex.

I bet on Bianco much faster than I do Pennex.

I mean, I had it today, too.

I don't believe it.

This is the most effed up team, maybe even for years now, right?

Like they, well, all right.

The first game was legit.

They, the kicker missed a field goal, and we're used to that, right?

They lost the Tampa Bay.

Then they beat up Minnesota on the night game, the Sunday night, shut out by Carolina.

You just get a completely different team every week.

Yeah.

You just have to assume they're the zigzag team.

Yeah.

They should call them the Pitts because it's like the drama of when to start Kyle Pitts.

It's the new drama, the Pitts

scored a touchdown.

So we definitely have to be able to get it.

He's been doing stuff this season.

I know.

The funniest thing with the Falcons is Washington scores to cut it to seven.

Falcons come back down.

And now they're in the mode where it's like they could either go for the kill, get a touchdown, or probably settle and take it easy kick a field goal it's like three minutes left less

so they play it easy and they're playing for a field goal and because it's the falcons you just assume something horrible is going to happen and i was trying to think of any other team maybe the chargers and the afc is like that because they have that juju too but just like i was just like i oh this is definitely getting blocked this is going to be a tie game like you just go to your mind with the falcons goes to the worst case at all times this time they kicked the field goal they won but weren't you thinking the same thing it's like oh it's the falcons they're gonna fuck this up.

And they also look so much faster.

I know you don't like speed or anything, but don't they look faster at home on their turf?

Like I see Bijan and I see London.

I'm like, these guys should be scoring every single game.

Instead, they settle for field goals and with guys they cut two weeks later.

I wish we knew how fast each guy was going.

You hate that.

It's going to be a Madden rating soon enough.

Could Darnell Mooney get to 20 miles an hour on the HBS seat?

Tell me later.

A couple more quick things.

Flacco is six picks.

The Browns are pretty boring to watch offensively, even though they have some decent weapons.

Because that Judkins guy might actually be good.

Can they just make Shadora the starter for content?

Like, do that for us?

Like, we all need it.

The TV, the daily TV shows need it.

The podcasts need it.

It gives like anecdotally, we have stuff.

Like, just

do it.

I have to say how fast

first.

No, I think you're right.

Yeah.

He should get to like 19 miles an hour.

If you can get to 19 miles an hour, we'll give you the ball.

You get the game ball.

He should have raised Joe Flacco.

Flacco was weird because his first two starts, he dropped back like 90 times, right?

Like, oh, we're going to see like a poor man's Baker Mayfield here, right?

And maybe it'll work and maybe it won't.

But yeah, if they're not scoring in Detroit or against these other teams, it's not, it's not good.

Well, that's the other thing with the miles an hour.

They never do it for the slow guys.

Right.

Like Flacco chasing down somebody at interceptions.

Like Flacco, 13 miles an hour, pretty rough.

That would be funny.

They got to do it.

people in their people in their 80s do that.

Yeah.

Oh, Pat's Panthers.

This is my last thing for you.

So remember, we did this.

We've done this the last couple years where we try to figure out what's going to be the weirdest result of the season.

Like at the end of the year, when we're like, what happened that we what was that?

I think it might be Panthers 30, Falcon Zero, I think is going to go down as the weirdest game, right?

Yeah, I think so, too.

Right.

The The Panthers will end up with what, four or five wins, and the Falcons should be around seven or eight or nine, you know?

Yeah, I think you're right.

The Panthers, I think it's going to be less than that.

The other one was, who did that?

The Browns, 13, Packers, 10 might be up there, too.

We should keep track of this.

I don't know.

Yeah, that was the last time the Packers didn't give up 50 points.

Maybe.

Who do you like in Dolphins, Jets, and Broncos, Bengals tomorrow?

You know, I have,

I let the Bundo pick for our ring of 107.

So we have the Bengals plus the points, but I'd be lying to you if I didn't say I have Denver on a money, a couple of money line parlays to close out.

Right.

And then the other one, I really don't know.

I'm really not sure what the

this is a spells, someone could get fired.

Maybe not.

That's a Bianco Mystery Pizza game.

Someone's getting demoted and a pizza slapped in their face from this game.

Remember when Bianco brought out that market pizza and it was like the greatest thing thing either of us had ever eaten?

That's what the food

was like all these vegetables on it.

And it was like, we were just like, oh, it was like descended from the gods.

I don't think Dolphins Jets is going to be like that.

All right, we're going to take

a break and then we're going to get guests of wines.

Then we have to a couple other things, too.

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All right, guest the lines.

Bye weeks.

Pittsburgh, Atlanta, Chicago, Green Bay.

We're finally at the bye week.

You're already getting sad that the season's almost over.

We're only four weeks.

They don't need buys.

Come on, everybody play every week for 12 months.

Well, the problem with this one is we're losing a couple entertaining teams this week.

Yeah.

You can feel it in the

lineup.

So, Thursday night, Ram, Rams Niners, good Thursday night game.

That is a good one.

In Los Angeles.

And I have the Rams by three.

So this is two NFC West in a row on a Thursday night.

Yeah.

You have three.

Oh, you're going to get this.

I had two and a half.

I believe it's three and a half unless it changed.

It's three and a half.

We should mention you won the first two weeks.

I won the next two weeks.

I know.

You're going to win this week.

So awesome.

I think so.

My miles per hour way down this week.

Probably the pizza.

Yeah.

How much pizza have you had in Brooklyn?

How many days have you been there?

Got here Friday night.

There's a place a half mile away that's excellent, and they're open until 1 a.m.

So that's bad for me.

Then went to Grimaldi's yesterday.

And then walking back, our friend Tony says, holy shit, there's an L and B right across the street from Grimaldi's.

So we did the bang bang.

And so, yeah, it's a lot.

And then I had another slice this morning.

Yeah, it's not good you may not see me again this could be it

hey there's a london game

the vikings they they they've they lost to pittsburgh and they were told you can't leave now you have to stay we're taking your passports and they're playing the uh cleveland browns

who

can't really move the ball offensively right

but I think Carson Wentz is probably playing in.

This is either three or three and a half.

I went back and forth.

I did Vikings minus three.

All right, I got it exact.

I hit it three and a half is the answer.

It went down from four and a half, actually.

This is rough.

This is a rough defense is good.

Like the Browns defense, if it's Carson Wentz again with all those guys, if the center is missing and the right tackle is missing on the Vikings D, that's going to be a lot of trouble for them because that Browns front four is beastie.

It's tough on the West Coast waking up for two bad quarterbacks, isn't it?

Like if it's going to to be Wentz and

Flacco again.

That's why you got to do this.

Is when you do Shador this week.

Yeah.

Or even Dylan Gabriel.

We could be like, oh, look how short he is.

Sunday Marquee.

I have Seahawks Bucks as the best Sunday game.

It's good.

It's a good game.

Here's the case.

Every game the Bucks play, it goes down to the final three minutes.

Baker's really fun.

Igbuko always makes fun play.

I think Bucky Irving is a top-five running back now, right?

Tremendous.

Such a great burst for him.

Yeah, he's fucking incredible.

And I like watching the Seahawks defense.

I'm going to put, this is in Seattle.

I'm going to say Seattle minus one and a half.

Oh, it's Seattle minus three.

And what did I have?

He moved it on me.

Oh, I had one and a half also.

So we talked.

So it's Seattle minus three.

Seattle minus three.

Yep.

So Seattle's finally getting some respect.

Yeah, I guess it's a long, it's a shorter or longer rest for them, right?

Tampa Bay still injuries.

They are unbelievable.

They had two gigantic.

How long were both their touchdowns?

Eggbuka and like that so long.

And then two of the longest field goals we've ever seen.

They were right back in that game.

I was like kind of getting mad.

I had the Eagles.

We both loved Egbuka.

He was the only player prop bet bet I made was his over, and it was like 680 yards or something.

He'll probably have that by mid-October.

Two watchables, not a good sign for us for Sunday.

Eagles, Broncos in Philadelphia.

I mean,

honestly, the Eagles might be banned from the Watchables category if

they don't get their shit together.

You can't have a game where you have zero completions in the second half.

They're four, no.

Their fans are just furious constantly.

And it's like they have to have the game get to where there's somebody as a 17-point lead before they're interested in whatever the proceedings are.

Can I make a this is going to sound like bitter salad.

It really, really is.

There's no way other way to describe it.

If you're going for the tush push, you should have to declare you're going for the tush push.

It shouldn't be an option that you could flip it back to the tailback who has nothing but daylight and runs it in.

Like it should be like the onside kick.

We're going to let this lunacy fly.

I didn't like that.

I like it.

Well, this line could move depending on how the Broncos look tomorrow night, but for the short term, it's in Philadelphia and I have Eagles by four.

We split it.

I said five.

It's four and a half.

Come on, Denver.

Play tough.

Play tough here.

Pretty important Bo Knicks game tomorrow night.

Yeah.

Because if he sucks again,

that's an entire month of him sucking and then going to spill the game.

Yeah.

The stat that he, what was he, 35 out of 36 for the rated quarterbacks?

Yeah, not great.

The only other watchable game I have, which might not be watchable of Mariota's the QB, is Chargers Washington in L.A.

And I have the Chargers favored by three and a half because I get this.

I went way high.

I said five.

I didn't even think about the Daniels thing.

In my mind, he's out another week, but I guess he was almost ready Wednesday.

You get it.

It's three.

Chargers by three.

This will be a nice little test for how many Chargers, like our theory that the Chargers crowds are getting better.

Yeah.

Because Washington, old school NFC team, there's a lot of transplants here.

I'll be interested to see what the breakdown is.

But I've been impressed by the Chargers fan base.

Yeah, they could step up even further this week.

Fairly watchables.

I had to put Colts Raiders in in here because you just know that game is going to be absolutely unhinged.

I'm prepared for anything.

I

had to put it in the Vegas zone.

Colts, five and a half.

I said four and a half.

It's six and a half.

So you'll get that one.

I don't know.

I know we buried Geno here, but could you see this stupid shit here?

I think this is where he needs to be, getting almost a touchdown on the road is when he finally gets his C-legs, right?

He doesn't like these games where they're either favored or they're minus one and a half.

He needs to be like a dog.

Yeah, I think this is a let's be careful, do not put the Colts in a tease game, would be my recommendation.

I'm with you.

I'm gonna

stick to that.

I think, you know, maybe Crosby, like Plants, uh, Danny Dimes, Indiana Jones, whatever we want to call him now, a couple times.

Maybe he's like South Indiana Jones.

Uh,

Ravens home

for the Texans with a bunch of injuries on the Ravens side and Houston's defense through a shutout today.

Now, you said that counts in our league.

I didn't see points for it because I had the Houston.

You start with 13 points.

What you want a bonus also for getting a, we're playing each other in fantasy.

Yeah, so if you get a bonus, you give a bonus.

If my defense gets a shutout, I should get more points.

Not against the Titans.

That's not even, that's hardly even.

There's like 10 shutouts.

Is there five shout outs a year?

How many shout outs?

How many bonus points do you want?

I think it should be like four points.

Oh, it's close to the game.

Plus four.

We have a close game.

What do we have tomorrow?

I have Tyreek Hill and you have two people.

I have

two people.

Sorry, let me pull it up here.

Riveting content for this.

This is almost as can you do this

as we figure out how fast you run?

All right.

You're up 11.

You're going to, how am I favorite here?

You're up 11.

You have Tyreek Hill.

I have HN and Garrett Wilson.

Oh.

You're going to win.

Are you favored?

I'm favored.

They have HN projected for 16 points.

That's stupid.

Stop it, CBS.

Ravens, Texans in Baltimore.

I have Ravens minus four.

Wait, what do we say?

Oh, Ravens minus four.

Okay.

Yeah, I said five and a half.

It's seven.

Ooh.

I don't agree with that at all.

Well, now it's a must-win.

Shit, they're both one and three, huh?

Yeah, but the Texans have a good defense, though.

Like, as ugly as their offense is, their defense

can hang around.

Last one is Lions Bengals.

It's in Detroit.

And

I think they add the half point on this.

I was going to say seven, but I think they bump it.

I think it's seven and a half, Detroit.

I was way, way off on this.

It's eight and a half.

I said five and a half.

So you said seven and a half?

Yeah, you get it.

Four perfect games.

Yep.

Giants at Saints with no neighbors.

It's a bad one.

And yet I think it'll, it might make a multi-view for me.

Has anyone planted their flag on the Saints are fun corner?

Because they were fun in this Buffalo game.

That's all you.

You could have that one.

You know, I thought that too.

I mean, you said they went up and down the field.

How many passing yards do you think Rattler had?

Was it an optical illusion?

What was it?

126.

126.

And they were playing catch-up the whole time.

How many did they rush for?

I don't know.

I think Kamara had a decent day.

But to say that, like, Rattler,

I don't get the team that I'm watching there.

Yeah.

I mean, in my defense, I'm watching six TVs at once.

Right.

And every time I looked on the right TV, it seemed like they were moving the ball.

They were getting closer.

Jets, Cowboys.

Wait, we don't think we did the Giants.

Giant Saints.

I have Giants one and a half.

I had Giants by two.

It is one and a half.

It is that Tic Tac.

TikTok.

Well, if they're going to win one game, the Saints, this has got to be it, isn't it?

This should be one of the ones you have circled.

I don't think they're favored in any other game.

Not that they're favored in this one, but this has got to be the closest.

Giants pass rush, Scatabell.

Has Damashek tried to pronounce his name yet?

Scatabelle.

Scattabo.

And then

in a Jackson Dart scramble, I think that's enough for the Giants.

Right.

I wouldn't bet that game.

Jets home for the Cowboys.

Wow.

So I'll keep my guess.

I don't know if the Cowboys tonight swung it, but I had Jets minus one and a half.

No, I think.

Yeah.

I had Cowboys minus one and a half.

It's

two and a half.

Cowboys favor.

Yeah.

Yep.

I should have changed that, but I was trying to keep what I had before.

Cowboys two and a half.

Wow, we tied that game.

I was just thinking, I was just about to go through my, we lost, we're coming off a loss, but we tied.

We actually tied that game tonight.

Holy shit.

It was like a moral victory for Jerry.

This is another poop factor game.

Dolphins, Panthers in Carolina.

I think the Dolphins have to be favored by three, and that's where I landed.

That's exactly what I have, and I'm looking.

They're favored by one and a half.

Oh, how the Miamis have fallen.

That is brutal.

That's the worst team in the league, and they're favored by one and a half over them.

McMillan was open a lot against the Pats today,

and Bryce.

did not find him that often.

And he was starting to get that Larry Fitzgerald late, early 2010s body language.

Remember when Fitzgerald had bad quarterbacks for like five years in a row?

Yeah.

Just be open and then the ball would like sail that way.

There was a couple of those with Macmillan today.

And he was like, oh my God, really?

Last poop factor, Cards Titans in Arizona.

And amazingly, this has to go over seven.

And

I think it has to be seven and a half for Arizona.

Man, I was way off on this.

I said five and a half.

I was not impressed with Arizona.

It's nine and a half.

Yeah, I think that's the price for the Titans.

Jeez.

That's too high, though.

Arizona should not be favored by that many against anybody.

That's unbelievable.

I mean, it's just that you don't trust the kid on the road.

Is that it?

I mean, Kyler was not impressive for two hours and 20 minutes of that game.

I saw there was something on online about Ryan Clark five years ago was arguing about Kyler Murray versus Lamar Jackson.

Oh, wow.

And he was like way in on Kyler Murray.

And he's like, let me tell you something.

Kyler Murray will win a Super Bowl before Lamar Jackson.

Mark my words.

And was all in.

And I was thinking like, that's a bad one to have, but we all have those.

Sure.

Those ones where it's like, what?

And it's like, oh, my God, I can't put, what's your worst one?

Because that's got to be his worst one.

You know, I said

Bill is too manly to ever drink.

hot water with a lemon.

And now I look freaking foolish.

i don't know that's a good question uh just like you're saying a player is going to be great and he didn't turn out because i have some bad ones in print but i think we could just go to reddit we could just go to reddit and find out our answers i was trying to think what's my single worst one but i think it i think since i've been on video

i think it's james wiseman that that was a great a great pick for the warriors and really liking that pick right i think that might be my single worst one it might be a basketball yeah it'll have to be a basketball one you have this would be a great podcast where each, each episode,

somebody just comes in and they go over their most regrettable take they've ever had.

Right, right.

I like that.

Did James Wiseman win you over?

My James Wiseman pick.

I had a borderline talking about Mac Jones, but I didn't really

come out and say it that I thought he was like a

I was like skirting like that he was a possible MVP candidate if they were good, but we always say that anytime we think you didn't buy the jersey.

You didn't buy the jersey.

So you helped back.

i think wise man i think is my least favorite one yeah i have to think of mine all time i've had some worse though the in the in the column would it be basketball would most of them be basketball mostly basketball like draft ones

there was a dame lowered austin rivers one that was pretty bad about how they should take an austin rivers there was like uh

there was an a mecca oka four versus dwight howard i think i took team oka four

yeah it's all right we look we talk a lot about this we're not gonna bat a thousand Well, it's like saying, I never had a bad meal.

What was the worst meal you ever had?

Like, oh, yeah, yeah, you gotta, you have to eat.

It's gonna happen.

Sunday night,

Bills Patriots in Buffalo.

Let's do it.

Let's fucking go.

I really think the Pats can hang in this game.

Oh, boy.

I think they're gonna jack the line.

I think this is gonna be Bills minus eight and a half.

Wow.

Look at you go.

Bills minus eight and a half is right.

I said so.

I thought they put it in that good, you know,

decent difference between division foes, but had to be seven.

But eight and a half is, that's up there.

Pats have

no,

I don't think the bills, I think that's a lot of like people that haven't watched the two teams the last couple of weeks.

Pats have a good special teams.

Pats can block.

Pats defense is okay.

I didn't like how open McMillan was, but you know, you're on a Sunday night against Josh Allen.

It's a pretty tall task.

But I think they can hang around in that game.

More because of the Bills.

Like, think about Bills' opening week against Baltimore where Baltimore is one and three and then go through all Detroit, like they couldn't stop them.

I don't think their defense can,

you know, I just don't think

that's good.

I don't want to read into this one too much.

Maybe the Saints is tough to get up for.

Cook is

Cook's turned into a monster, too.

I wouldn't have him top five, but probably top seven, top eight range for running backs.

He's fun.

He moves the chains.

Really?

He's no more chains anymore, but he moves them.

You think he can get to 21 miles an hour?

I haven't checked.

Let's see.

Does he have like a 21 and a half in him, maybe?

That tush push for Hertz was only 0.4 miles an hour.

What fun football.

Monday night, really good game.

Probably the best game of the Sunday, Monday.

Chiefs at Jags.

Nice little tester for the Jags.

Three and one, Chiefs two and two.

The Chiefs are obviously going to be favored.

And I put this in the tic-tac zone at Chiefs minus one and a half.

Yeah, I said three and a half.

It is three.

Ooh, you win that one.

You won the week, though.

That was seven for me and like 10 for you.

Three in a row.

Not good.

Chiefs minus three.

That's a little high.

We're going to take Jacksonville on a teaser?

I'm just saying that's a little high.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's reactionary for sure.

Interesting that the Chiefs were plus two and a half against Baltimore

at home, but now they're minus three at Jacksonville.

But I don't think Baltimore is better than Jacksonville right now, do you?

Right.

No, I don't.

I will say

if they're thriving with the turnover, Jacksonville.

Is Mahomes just a little smarter?

And I know some of these could be freak turnovers, but is Mahomes just a little smarter and more careful?

You don't see him.

It is one of those things.

Yeah, you bet the Jags, and then at some point you realize you bet Trevor Lawrence over Patrick Mahomes.

Yeah, right.

And you feel really stupid.

Yeah.

All right.

So stay away.

All right.

I win that week.

Let's take one more break and then we got to talk about baseball and Ryder Cup and Brooklyn Quick.

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All right, baseball.

So the murder of the Mets season,

they were just, it was like while you were sleeping and the Mets were just Peter Gallagher waiting to wake up and the Mets fans were going there every day to go see him.

And then the Mets just died.

I didn't see him.

There was no happy ending.

Not watching it.

Yeah.

It sucked.

I mean, just the way it all went down, you let the Marlins beat you and shut you out and they take a team picture like they just won the NLCS.

Like, it was disgusting.

It's not how I thought it would go.

I thought we would blow out the Marlins today and the Reds would win in the last inning, you know, and then the Cowboys would get killed.

And that would be my day.

But it's that the Mets lost and the Cowboys tied.

Yeah, right.

I wonder what that would have paid.

I mean, they were almost the first team to have a losing record after being 20-plus games over 500.

It's one of the most disappointing seasons of my life here.

Like, you know, especially with Soto, 43 homers, 105, almost had 40 stolen bases.

Pete, 38, 110.

Like, where is it?

Like, we have one pitcher with 10 plus wins.

And I get it where teams, if you root for the Pirates, that they never spend money, but there's something to be said about a team that spends $341 million.

I know you get to watch great players perform well sometimes, but.

When you never win a World Series, it's like, it feels like that attempt to compete is futile.

Like, right?

Like, how much would we have to spend?

I hate it.

I hate it all.

40 years for you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

86.

It'll be 40.

Yeah.

The thing is, if they made the playoffs, do you think they would have won four straight rounds and won the World Series?

No, so that was the thing.

So going into the weekend, I'm like, all right, what are we going to do?

Win three against the Marlins and then two out of three against, we're going to win five out of six in the next week.

So yeah, it's probably better just to not watch him.

Well, my team made it.

You're psyched,

which makes no sense because we traded our best player

and then our new best player, who is fucking awesome, Roman Anthony,

gets hurt, misses the last month of the season.

I don't think he's going to be available for it.

Certainly doesn't seem like he's going to be available this week.

I think Hench said we've used 35 pitchers.

Wow.

We had 10 of the worst losses you can imagine and somehow finished 89 and 73.

And now we're playing the Yankees.

And we have Crochet, who's an absolute fucking beast, who's the best pitcher in the American League.

I'm surprised you're an underdog.

I'm looking at that now.

You're an underdog in that game?

In the game one, we're an underdog?

Yeah.

He's plus 112.

Oh, wow.

Max Freed.

Yeah.

I think the key is if they can if they can win game one and it's just a crochet and chapman game and they don't use whitlock and they can save whitlock for game two i think they can win the series if they have to use all those guys for game one i think that gets really tough and then bao hasn't looked as good the last

um

i would say the last probably month or so he's the game two guy The Yankees have more talent.

I mean, the Red Sox have just lost too many people.

I just wish we had Anthony.

If we had Anthony, I would be like, heads up.

But a lot of these don't go three games, you know, they just go the two.

So this is so huge, crochet pitch.

I'm really surprised that he's an underdog.

And like, you know, I say to JJ, John Gustremski, who's a Yankee fan, I'm like, is it really a home?

The Yankees have home field advantage much anymore.

He's like, bro, I'd much rather play this game in Yankee Stadium than I'm like, yeah, yeah, no, I get it.

But

I don't, I think this is a, this is definitely a winnable game for you, game one.

Well, they're, they're starting two lefties in a row.

And I actually like when we go against lefties.

That Schlittler really scares me.

I'm kind of hoping we don't see him.

Have you seen him?

Yeah, a little bit of him.

Yeah.

I had him on, Hench and I had him on our AL Keeper team, too.

He was a legitimate stud.

I thought for sure they would pitch him at home in game two, but

maybe

the days rest didn't work.

But so they got

Radon is doing game two against Bayo.

Anyway,

I'm trying, I'm already have my guard up because the Yankees, I just think, have a better team.

And if the Red Sox lose, we just point to the Devers trade and Anthony being hurt.

And Casas got hurt in the first month of season.

And we're like, ah.

But if we beat them, it's so embarrassing for them.

Oh, yeah.

With like.

Ref Snyder.

I mean, it's like Nathaniel Lowe, who basically picked up off waivers, played first base.

Like, that would be a crazy loss by them.

You're in great shape if you win that first game.

Yeah, Yankees minus 178 for the series.

Who do you think is going to win the World Series?

You know what?

I'm going to say.

Or am I stepping on your Tuesday podcast?

Yeah, let me think about it.

But it's going to take, it's still going to take, even though their relief pitching is really faltered, it's going to take a lot to knock the Dodgers off, I think.

I don't think they have the relievers.

I don't think they have the relievers.

Yeah.

Everybody goes two innings, though, in these.

Remember, you're looking at different baseball here.

I mean, what the Tigers did,

it would have been so much better if there were no wild cards.

That would have been maybe the biggest collapse of our life.

They were up to 12 games at the end of August.

I know.

I thought the best team I saw.

The best team the Red Sox played all year was the Padres, just from like watching them.

And they just kept bringing these guys guys in to throw 100 miles an hour they lost one of them after we played them but um but i was you talking about speed that's that's something that we're not you asked like what kind of kick would impress me

guys throw 102 now and we don't even the broadcasters don't even mention it at all

yeah the socks they have the best starter in the series Yeah, they have a really good setup guy and a really good closer.

But I don't trust the lineup.

I think

I'd be surprised if they beat the Yanks, even with the crochet piece.

But I'm excited at baseball.

It's fun.

Tuesday, Wednesday.

I've been in a couple years.

Yeah.

I like that.

It's three in a row, too.

Four games.

Come on at three o'clock there.

Are you going to be able to see anything?

Are you doing the, you're there for Jimmy's show?

Yeah, I'm there.

Someone offered me tickets.

I'm not watching those dumb teams.

But yeah, you get the Dodgers and Red Sox, Yankees get the night slots Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.

How much Ryder Cup did you follow?

A lot until today.

I really didn't watch.

I was so like, you know, I bet Europe.

I listened to House.

House is going to pretend he's upset about the Americans.

He had Europe.

He's so not upset.

He had so much Europe money.

Have you ever had a friend like a bet for so long and it worked?

Like, I think in February, he was talking about Europe winning the Ryder Cup.

He kept putting more on it.

It was like listening to somebody who loved AI stock in like 2020 and just kept kept buying more of it.

Yeah.

And then he had to pretend he was really upset that America choked.

So I didn't have it on.

I had the six games on.

Yeah.

It was actually seven, but I had a split screen and didn't have the rider on until,

I don't know, at some point it was like, hey,

I think my dad texted me.

So then I put it on.

And there was a moment where it seemed like they really had a chance.

Like when

Henley was up one, heading into the 18th and right.

And if it felt like he was going to just take it and everything else is pretty even, you start doing the math.

They're like, holy shit.

But then

Shane Lowry, my biggest problem with the Ryder Cup is most of my favorite golfers were on the Euro team.

P and sign.

Yeah, which I think a lot of people feel that way.

Like, I love Roy McElroy.

I really like Shane Lowry.

They can't get dual size.

I like John Rahm.

Yeah.

I even like Victor Hofflin.

But the only guy I really liked in the the American team is JJ Spawn.

Yeah.

Like really

golfer.

Well, Scotty's so much fun to watch.

You don't know.

He's all right.

He's fine.

I like him on Friday and Saturday when he would go for four.

Thomas is good.

Thomas had a good one.

You would have gotten killed betting Scheffler Friday and Saturday.

Like everything.

He was like minus 180, but it wasn't always his fault with the pairings.

But that's where all the money went for sure.

Oh, my favorite guy, Fleetwood.

That was another guy in the

team.

Yeah, yeah.

I just, I was, so I was like pushing again.

I didn't end up betting anything on it.

The fans were brutal.

I had no idea until I read afterwards what they're doing to Rory.

And like, Rory, like going into the weekend, was good natured.

Remember that heckler was like, hey, Rory.

He was like buttoning his shirt.

He's like, Rory, you don't need a button to choke.

And he's like, oh, good one.

And he like laughed.

And by the end, he's like, fuck you.

These guys are all looking at these guys.

Shaming screaming fuck off at everybody.

Like a big bear, like screaming at these fans.

And then, yeah, it's,

yeah, I don't think it's uh, I was saying, like, people like, oh no, you have to have so much money to enter these events, you're not going to get the wise ass typical New Yorker, but yeah,

yeah, there's wise asses that got lucky with hedge funds.

That's all it is.

Just they have enough money and just screaming their heads off.

Well, you know what the great equalizer was, it was alcohol.

Oh, yeah, like maybe they weren't wise asses at nine in the morning, right?

Baby doll went or uh, speaking of

our beloved, um, he was there on Saturday and left early.

I couldn't find out if he helicoptered in and out.

I think he just rode the smoke from his cigarette sober.

Yeah, that's a good question.

No, well, he lives like 20 minutes from there.

Okay.

So he drove it?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Baby, I helicopted anyway.

Before we do Parent Corner, well, should we do Agent Corner after Parent Corner or we want to do Parent Corner first?

Are we really?

Is that going to be our bombshell?

The Agent car.

Yeah, we'll do a bombshell later.

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What do you have?

All right.

I'm getting my hair cut the other day, and this guy, Graham, good guy, cuts my hair.

He cuts Harrison's hair too and Jag, my son's and Archie when he's around.

And he says to me, he's like, hey, I hear Harrison wants to be a Cowboys fan.

And I was like, what?

He's like, yeah, he's going to be, he's a Cowboys fan.

I'm like, oh, holy shit.

I was really like stunned by this, you know, because like I'm.

He was always like whoever won the Chiefs when he was young, seven or eight.

Now he's 12.

He really hasn't, it's all fantasy, you know?

But this year, like CeeDee Lamb, he was rooting for him, I noticed, but I thought it was just because he had him on fantasy the first two weeks.

And then I'm like, I got to get out of this barber chair.

Like, we could stop this now.

I have to get home to talk to this kid.

My, my hair is going to look like shit in six days anyway.

So let's just, it's not Graham's fault.

It's my, I have bad hair.

So I'm like, hey, I say to Harrison, I'm like, what's going on?

Graham told me you want to be a Cowboys fan.

He's like, yeah, I am a Cowboys fan.

I was like, I don't think this is good.

I don't want you to do this.

And he's like,

I want to do it.

I want to be a Cowboys fan.

I was like, why?

He's like, because you're my dad.

And that was like a real Cosby show moment.

But I was like, no, I want to.

Wow.

The crowd got silent and then it started applauding.

Oh, a little slow clap.

Yeah.

You're like, Uncle Phil?

I said, hey,

I want to talk to you about this when I get back from Brooklyn.

He says, am I in trouble?

I was like, yeah, only if you make this terrible decision, you're in trouble for the rest of your life.

I'm like, why can't you be a Chargers fan?

We live 10 minutes away and they need fans.

And, you know, I feel like this, I'd be doing something good for L.A.

So, I mean, I really just, I really, really don't want this for him.

I feel like I'm like running a business where I sell fax machines and I haven't sold one in like 25 years.

And he's like, I want to do that too.

I'm like, no, no, I want better for my kid.

But what do I do?

I need advice here.

Do I continue to push other teams on him?

Does he have to have a football team to be a big sports fan?

It would be fun if he was a Cowboys fan.

Oh, man.

They have another person to complain about the Cowboys with.

Why wouldn't anyone be alive?

It's because it's not a fun, oh, look what what they did tonight.

Although tonight was fun, but I don't know, man.

I don't know what I'm going to do.

I may not allow this.

I was thinking about

what you just said made me think about before the Red Sox won.

I think I wrote a column about how after the Aaron Boonhomer about passing the Red Sox to my kids, how I wasn't going to do it.

And now

the irony is neither of my kids care about baseball.

We don't even have a team anyway.

But in 2003, it seemed conceivable.

But yeah, you feel like you're giving them this burden.

It's like you're giving them like a, you know, some sort of disability.

Yeah.

They just have to carry for the rest of their life.

Yeah.

It doesn't have to be that way.

You can root with your friends for the Chargers.

Do that, please.

So

my parent corner,

there's a Starbucks that when we moved to LA, it was near the house that

we were renting.

And it was basically like near where Tarantino's New Beverly Cinema was.

It's on Detroit Street.

And used to be, it was like the walkable Starbucks to where this house we're running.

And

it was the Starbucks that I was walking to right before the Yankees Red Sox series in 2004, ironically, when a bird shit on my shirt.

And I wrote a whole piece about how, because the Italians, like bird shits, good luck.

So I was, and I was like about to write my Red Sox Yankees

preview.

And I was walking with my wife and her brother.

And the bird shit as I was thinking about the, and I was like, this is good luck.

So went into the thing and I wrote this whole thing about it in

on page two.

So same Starbucks that when my wife was giving birth to my daughter, Zoe,

I just told this story in the pod and she went into labor and then she wasn't in labor and then two days later she thought she might be again.

And we were going there in the morning and I stopped at the Starbucks and got a coffee because I was like, ah, you're probably not having the kid.

I need my coffee.

Went in the coffee, saw this 90210 actress that was in there, came out.

I was like, you're not going to leave us in there.

And Kara's like, drive!

Because she felt like, and she's still mad about it.

She's been mad about it for 20 years.

So that one corner search.

So she threw the heel at your face.

It was, it was

from last week.

Yeah, it was Lucinda from season four, 902 and 0 was in there.

And I'm like, you're not going to believe what I saw.

And she's like, drive.

So anyway,

she is coming home and she's stopping because she's coming from that direction.

And she texts, do you want to, you want me to get you an iced coffee?

And I'm like, yeah, yeah.

So she comes home and she's like, I had to get it from somewhere else.

That Starbucks closed, the one on Detroit, the one we went to.

And then she's like, remember remember the one where I was about to give birth to Zoe and you were more excited that you ran.

And we had a whole thing about the, it was still there 21 years later.

Still bad about the Starbucks.

Anyway, a lot of memories, bird shit, labor.

That's it.

I used to write columns of that Starbucks every once in a while.

Now it's just gone.

Oh, that's too bad.

And Lucinda was a barista recently.

She probably was.

Wait, I have to ask, did you, when the birds shit on you did you go in the starbucks and write the column right then no oh i went in sat there with the bird i went in the guy actually noticed the thing because we were talking about he's like what is that on your shirt and i was like i need a napkin but right and i had and we had this whole debate about whether i should wipe it off whether it was good luck and i ended up wiping off but then not washing the shirt which is pretty psychotic

that's a good fantasy punishment someone should have to wear that shirt that's not ever much.

Yeah.

Nice.

Yeah.

Anyway, that's Paracorner brought to you by Scout Motors.

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Concept vehicles not available for sale.

Sorry about that.

Keep going.

No, I was wondering, was there any chance you were going to name Zoe Jacinda?

No.

Lucinda?

Sorry.

Yeah.

I think she was dating three guys on the show at once.

It probably made a mistake.

Concept vehicles not available for sale.

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Visit scoutmotors.com for details it's weird though because i used to you know i used to be a writer and i would go write my column or write my basketball book or anything i would go to these i would leave the house and go to these different places around la

and that was one of the go-to ones but when i see these places now i just think of like all the these hundreds of hours i just spent with my head down like fucking yeah you know typing What is it?

What did it turn into?

The Starbucks.

I don't, they just closed it.

I don't even know what it's going to be.

But you could

buy it if it means that much.

No, it's sentimental.

It's nice.

That's fine.

Memorabilia.

All right.

I don't even know if it's sentimental.

My wife got mad all over again.

Then I stopped for a coffee there.

It's the opposite of sentimental.

Needed the coffee.

It was the morning.

What was it going to do?

Sentimental.

Should we do Aging Corner really fast or I guess so.

I don't know what we think we can get away with here, but all right.

Yeah.

So the big controversy our cousin jimmy's back on the air

uh

triumphant week for him we went to the show on tuesday it was great it was uh it was great to see everybody uh it was emotional the whole thing and he's back now he's in brooklyn doing his show but uh his

his agent our beloved james baby doll dixon as all this stuff was happening the week before

had a wedding in Martha's Vineyard and was doing was handling his whole side remotely.

And that turned into a big topic for us, whether he should have flown back or not.

And you're going to be shocked to know that he did not appreciate the discourse about whether he should have flown back or not.

And was,

dare I say, defensive for one of the, one of the only times I remember, like when we were really busting his balls on Tuesday in Jimmy's office,

seemed almost a little rattled about it.

So it was me, who was your take?

Me, you, and Lewis, and uh,

I don't know how much we we could talk, but Aaron, uh, the EP.

It's a bunch of people in the EP.

Yeah, there's like five of us, and we were all giving him shit about it.

And so, what does he do?

He turns his attentions to me and starts, which I'm, I'm fine with, because you know, and it was varying, varying degrees of we're just screwing with you, baby, to, hey, we're angry.

Where the hell were you?

kind of thing, right?

So, he, of course, is very defensive about it, but uh, not so much that he just took off and left for the Ryder Cup, like right the very very next day.

So he's fine.

He was like, I'm here, aren't I?

This was a day back.

Yeah.

But then left.

Yeah.

Left the next day.

So

he technically did come back.

Right, right, right.

But I don't know.

I still don't.

I need, I kind of need more information.

I wish there was a reporter covering Baby Doll because.

I want to know what the wedding was.

Who was the wedding?

What do we know about the wedding that he couldn't leave?

One of his daughter's friends.

Very dear, sweet, sweet kid i couldn't miss this no i'm not missing that wedding but he said he claimed he was putting in 20 hours a day remotely working on trying to get during the whole saga i don't did you believe that i mean i he doesn't sleep so that is i don't believe it unless he's on i mean first of all he shows up he's so dark he looks like wesley snipes when we see him you know and it's like

I don't think he's doing 20 hours of anything, but like sunbathing, like poly walnuts.

Yeah, he's 20 hours, but then he's also talking about how good his swing is.

Yeah, right, right, right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We love

it.

I don't know.

We just need some answers there.

It's, yeah, it was just

getting trouble.

Well, you have to see him for the next five days.

Oh, yeah, you're right.

You're right.

He's

3,000 miles away.

I'm not going to get in any trouble.

Who knows if I'll see him?

I don't know.

I don't know what he shows up.

The important thing is, he did show up for Tuesday after all the drama had been settled.

He was there.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm there when it counts, baby.

Now, my boy Carson is doing something for the Budweiser light tent.

I got to get the hell out of here.

Off to Beth Page.

Maybe he's like Tom Hayden.

Maybe he's a peacetime conciliary, like Tom and the Godfather.

Oh, yeah.

All right.

I mean, that was.

Maybe he's not like Jenko.

Like Jenko is a wartime conciliary.

I like that.

I mean, his way is usually just to scream until he gets his way but so but that wasn't um that wasn't the deal this time

i did not appreciate that you talked about this on the podcast

you know

private business you know leverage wise this is not good for me baby

maybe we run this by louis to see if uh

well Leverage-wise, it was a, it was a, it, it all worked out somehow.

Yeah, that's right.

And now we have this Brooklyn week and

good times all the way around.

Good week of shows.

Very happy to have Jimmy Kimmel back on the TV.

Anything you had to plug this week?

Yeah, Tate and I are going to talk.

College on Tuesday.

Big wins for Bama and Oregon.

Those were fun.

Go ducks.

House and Dubundo on Wednesday.

House, again, I got to.

He endorsed my bet.

Europe to win by between one and three, plus 400.

So that's my claim to fame for the weekend.

thank you did you like dante more by the way because mcshay was on here on thursday and he said that was his favorite qb and then i watched a bunch of that game and uh you didn't like

no i liked him i thought he was good all different arm angles that was a toughest i mean what's tougher place to win than that i don't know maybe penn state isn't great but that was uh he showed some uh well it's a great it's great when you win those games in the other team stadium in college football when it just goes completely silent.

Right.

Yeah.

When it's like, oh,

and then it's like, it's almost like you, like a pin gets shoved into the

stadium.

But that was one of those wins where it was just.

Walk-off interception, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, that was great.

That was good.

And then Friday, the bundle and high fits with me and Todd Marinovich will join us.

He has a book out.

Good times.

We'll try to find out more information about Baby Dog.

We can't offer this.

We'll do Agent Corner.

I can get a sponsor next week for Agent Corner.

All right, let's do it.

I know you're way far away drinking hot water with lemon, and he's going to clamp past me for five straight days here.

I can't wait.

I can't wait for the stories.

Cuz, good job by you.

Good job by you, buddy.

All right, that's it for the podcast.

Thanks to Sal.

Thanks to Eduardo and Gahau as well.

Don't forget new rewatchables coming Monday night, Prestige TV, Task,

all of our sports and pop culture content on the Ringer Podcast Network.

This is a big, big, big month for us that's coming up.

We are in our wheelhouse in a whole bunch of different ways.

So I will see you definitely on Tuesday.

You might even see me four times this week because with all the stuff that's going on, but I will see you on this podcast on Tuesday.

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