15 Years of Puns!

The Bugle, audio newspaper for a visual world.

Hello buglers, welcome to this promised bonus sub-bugle issue 4247 sub-episode A.

We said it was coming and here we are.

Already, what, 15 seconds in in fact, and as this sentence drags on, we could be, well, you know, 25 or even 30 seconds in in before you know it.

Coming up on our recent live tour, audiences got to enjoy, if that is the correct word, puns, if that is the correct word.

Special puns, 2007 puns, and we've held them back until this hyper special sub-episode until right now.

Well, in fact, later in this show.

We've also got some recent UK news.

There was so much that we held some back for this week.

And in no way has it dated radically, as the UK continues to defy the very concept of time and progress.

But before that, the Football World Cup.

As you may know, we have a new series called Top Stories, link in the show notes, or whatever they are, and this week it focuses on some classic World Cup moments, you know, from when the World Cup wasn't a harrowing journey into the darkness of the human soul, including from episode 272.

So, as a prelude to that, here's the pre-top story excitement from 2014 in Brazil.

Little World with Me, Andy Zoltzmann, live in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.

I am heading back home in an hour.

I just had to come out here to pick my kids up.

And as the last time, I tell them not to come home until they found one of the two largest Jesus statues in the world.

Particularly as the one in Rio isn't even top two anymore.

Equal third after the Poles whacked up a 34-metre Messiah a couple of years ago.

Pair of losers.

My kids, that is, not the Jesuses.

Two of them, though.

One did the tricks, one told the stories.

Anyway, and joining me from Rio de Janeiro.

Well, from New York, same ocean, basically same continent, different hemisphere.

It's John Oliver.

Hello, Andy.

Hello, buglers.

Quick story.

No, there are no stories.

There can be no opening stories this week, Andy.

Nothing else is relevant.

Top story this week.

World Cup, World Cup.

It's the fing World Cup.

Oh.

World Cup, Andy.

World Cup.

World Cup.

World Cup.

The World Cup is here.

Hamlet's last words, Andy, were the rest is silence.

And I presume that what Shakespeare meant was that everything other than the World Cup is silence.

In other words, everything other than the World Cup is pointless.

Hamlet was so excited, Andy, he just died of joy thinking about future World Cups.

That's what I took from the end of that play.

The World Cup is nature's anesthetic, Andy.

Nothing's going to hurt for the next few weeks until England gets knocked out and it's over, and then everything is going to be pain.

Everything.

Pain everywhere.

There are so many benefits to the World Cup, non-to the host nation financially, but that's not the point.

There are much bigger considerations than that.

I was thinking this morning and I realized that for me, so much of what I know about the human body, Andy, is learned in the run-up to the World Cup from medical reports on players.

The only reason that I and most people in England know what a metatarsal is is that David Beckham broke one in his foot in 2002 and the whole nation decided to learn more about the human foot.

And what I learned then has actually stayed with me.

I learned that the human foot has five metatarsals and the worst one to break is the fifth one and if you break the second one like David did you'll be out for four to six weeks.

That's what I know.

And this happened again as I've indirectly received second-hand knowledge this week about malaria pills because the England team are going to be playing in the Amazon

middle of the Amazon rainforest for no clear practical reason whatsoever.

And there have been in-depth reports all week in the English papers pointing out that the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine have prescribed malarone for the 23-man playing school for 49 additional travelling backroom and administrative staff.

And the England team apparently were given their first pill at breakfast on Tuesday, Andy.

That is just good coaching.

Before a meal, you take it, don't take it on an empty stomach.

Good news, great start to the World Cup, Andy.

They took those malaria pills very effectively as a unit.

Yeah,

I can testify to how difficult malaria pills can be from when I went to

India and I just could not for the life of me get the mosquitoes to eat them.

I mean a lot of those pills are actually considerably bigger than an actual mosquito.

I mean what are you supposed to do?

Chop it up.

It led to a spectacular statement from the England manager Roy Hodgson who said to reassure people the bottom line is it's better to have stomach cramps than have someone contract malaria.

True Roy.

True.

You know what?

That's again, that's good coaching, Andy, because that is true.

Stomach cramps is better than malaria.

He's got that written up on a whiteboard with little magnets and arrows everywhere.

He's the philosopher king of English football.

So, well, there it is.

A World Cup special.

As always, some sections of the bugle going straight in the bin this week in the World Cup special.

A number of sections in the bin, including a commemorative supplement detailing the World Cup's greatest nil-nil draws, chosen and explained by the legendarily defensive Italian tactical genius Gian Luigi Plottigrozzzi, who evolved the Italian Catanaccio defensive tactic into the even more defensive Dogonaccio and led small-town ASC

Blogromio to the 1974 Scudato title without conceding or scoring a single goal, still viewed as the high point in the history of Italian football.

Also in the bin, a Where Were You When section, celebrities tell us where they were when great World Cup moments happened, including Marlon Brando.

Where was he when Brazil scored their legendary fourth goal in the 4-1 final win against Italy in 1970?

Marlon says, I was on the Italian bench getting into character for the Godfather movies.

Don Corleone started off as a left-sided midfielder in the Italian leagues.

We talk to Red Rum.

Where was he when Crif pulled off the Crif turn in 1974?

Turns out he was standing in a field eating some grass.

And we speak to David Seaman, England's goalkeeper, and ask him, where the fk was he when Ronald Dinho stuck one over his head from 40 yards in 2002.

Clearly, he has no fing recollection because he wasn't paying attention at the time.

Also in the bin, a Where Are They Now section, we catch up with heroes of past World Cups including the winning goalscorer from 2010 Andreas Iniesta.

Where is he now?

He's still a footballer.

England squad player James Milner also starting to he's also still a footballer and the US Ford Climp Dempsey still a footballer and from 1930 Pablo Dorado the Uruguayan goalscorer, the first goal in the final.

Where is he now?

He's dead.

Juan Bataso, the Argentinian goalkeeper in that game, also dead.

And Bert Pattenaud, America's star striker, six goals in four games, dead.

All those sections in the bin.

Innocent times.

Now, back to the UK.

Formerly, evil, stroke, naughty, delete according to preference, but highly competent.

Now, well, we can barely tie our collective shoelaces without letting rip and shedding billions from the national coffers.

Here's a bit from our birthday show about then Health Secretary, assuming she hasn't been reappointed, either between me recording this and you listening to this, or even me saying the words and the sound waves hitting the microphone, Therese Coffee.

This show involved Felicity Ward and Anuvab Powell.

In other British news,

the Health Secretary is trying to make people smoke more.

I mean, that's not technically true, but it's basically true.

Felicity, I know this story.

Why do they always put their tongue out when they smoke a cigar?

Put it back in, champion.

You're a grown-up.

Therese, obviously the spiritual heir to Churchill.

But Felicity, I know you were fascinated by

this story.

Absolutely love this story.

And I think it's actually really important.

It is important to know that despite the many health warnings, smoking still does look incredibly cool.

So that is something to bear in mind.

I stopped smoking three and a half years ago.

Unrelated.

Thank you.

It was the same day I found out I was four weeks pregnant and

very unrelated.

And when I think of smoking I think of Greece.

I don't know if you've been to Greece before but those people just love to dance with the idea of cancer.

You cannot move for smokers over there.

Doctors, firemen,

the babies are smoking.

Everyone's going for it and I absolutely love that they've read the pamphlets, they've read the statistics, they've got the books and collectively as a country, they've just said, oh, no, thank you.

They invented philosophy, democracy, yogurt.

I mean, they're so innovative.

I mean, they invented the Hippocratic Oath

and they're still pro-smoking.

I think if they're into smoking, I'm into smoking.

I mean,

I heard a lot from the new Tory regime about they don't want to be

a a nanny state and they're cutting back on programmes to advise people on healthy eating and how to how to save money.

But I mean nannying is a bit more than just giving people some useful advice, isn't it?

I don't remember the bit of Mary Poppins

where Mary says, I wouldn't stick your fingers in that plug socket kit.

If you need me, I'll be in a hub.

So I mean we're not so what they seem to be going for rather than the nanny state is a kind of methadicted rogue uncle state where everything is just stripped from your home and there's nothing left.

So

there there must be some kind of balance between the two, I think.

I think it's actually a bit more like

aunt-drunk auntie energy.

You know, the aunties, when you're at Christmas, they're like, I'll meet you out of the back, let's have a cheeky sig.

Don't tell grandma.

Maybe, Andy, new research will come out that'll say it's very good for the lungs.

Well, there has been research to that effect in the past, I think.

So maybe.

Just going back to old science.

We are taking Britain back.

We've taken back control.

We're taking back control of our lungs.

That's right, of our self-destruction.

Also

in Britain this week,

there's a probe launched into the Festival of Brexit.

The so-called Festival of Brexit, the unboxed

festival.

Now,

you are, as I said, a relatively new convert, Firsty, to the holy state of ethereal spiritual perfection and guiltless glory that is being a British

citizen.

So it must have been lovely for you in your first year of citizenship to have this nationwide festival expressing what being British really means.

I love it.

I absolutely, and the unboxed festival, like obviously that was,

that's a shorter name, but I found out that celebration of We Bite the Hand That Feeds a Shit Show was just too long to put on a banner.

Look, the British citizen in me is appalled that all this taxpayers' money is going towards the festival of Brexit.

The comedian, because it's been very poorly attended, like a shocking 1% of the intended audience have turned up to these events right those are words I've not heard since I did my first run at the Edinburgh Festival

this is exactly what I mean the British taxpayer in me is like I don't want my money to go towards that the comic in me is you always lose money the first year man festivals are hard we've all played small audiences you know

120 million pounds and you know it has caught you know an element of British culture I think unfortunately the element that it's celebrated most vividly is our national ability to say, ah, can't be asked, that looks a bit shit.

So, this is a fundamental part of Britishness, Anna.

I mean, every time I come, Andy, I see new good money-making ideas generating from this anti-growth country.

And, you know, this is a very good idea.

Apparently, one of the public installations that they're doing is part of this festival of Brexit.

It's called the Sea Monster.

And it's an abandoned oil rig in Western Supermare

that you can go and see and pay for.

And it's just sitting there.

And now, if this sort of thing is going to carry on, then what we could do back in India is we could take loads of people down the Mumbai sewers

to see an ek.

This is true, an excellent drainage system the British built in Victorian times.

They can stare at their own feces

and we could call it the Festival of Empire.

There you go.

We've left you a living metaphor.

NATO,

have you been impressed by Britain's expression of

its spiritual self?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Fair enough.

Thank you.

Organisers have claimed that although only 240,000 people have attended, they've claimed more than 4 million have engaged with it,

albeit in the same way that you might engage with a roadkill ferret on a motorway,

either by not noticing it, or by noticing it and saying, oh, or by noticing it and saying, how on earth did that even happen?

So.

Is that your second rodent joke of the evening?

There's rodents at the top.

There's more.

I am standing by and I'm excited.

And here now is some more recent UK news with actual Knight of the Realm, alleged bully and most fired man in government award winner Gavin Williamson.

This one with Nish Kumar and Hari Kondabolang.

UK news now and well it hasn't taken long but Rishi Sunak's

fledgling government has been hit by its first resignation stroke sacking.

Gavin Williamson, former Defence Secretary, former Education Secretary, recalled to the cabinet on what can only be described as absolutely f ⁇ ing baffling grounds,

has

resigned stroke been sacked amidst bullying accusations.

He was sacked by two previous prime ministers.

He was sacked by

Theresa May as defence when he was defense secretary for leaking discussions from a National Security Council meeting.

And he was sacked by Boris Johnson for losing the confidence of the entire education system by being unbelievably, remorselessly useless at his job.

He was then knighted

earlier this year.

He was made a knight.

I don't think he can even ride a horse.

And then he was back in cabinet as minister without portfolio

in Rishi Sunak's attempt to shore up, I believe, what's known as the fing lunatic wing of the Conservative Party.

It does slightly give the there's question marks about Sunak's judgment, Nish, just a few weeks into his, and he already brought Siwella Braverman back, as we talked about on the bugle, just a few days after she'd been sacked.

And it does slightly give the impression that if Rishi Sunak was presented with that classic conundrum of having a fox, a chicken and some grain, and having to row them across a river in a little boat with them all intact, what he would do would be to put the fox and the chicken in the boat, shove the grain down his trousers and then dive into the river.

Claim that it was all going to plan even as the bloodied feathers floated down onto his wet, wet head.

So, I mean, what have you made of?

I think, look, I think appointing someone like Gavin, appointing Suella Brabbermann, who, as we discussed, jumped while she was being pushed from her job as Home Secretary

seemed like a very strange move and it largely actually obscured the strangeness of rehiring Gavin Williamson because that had happened six days before she was given the same job so she was sacked from a job or she quit either way she she quit her job she was reinstated six days later by Sunak and that obscured the fact that Gavin Williamson who had again twice been fired for two different types of idiocy say what you will about the man he's a renaissance man of being f ⁇ ing shit at everything

But that sort of caused, and that sort of clouded Rishi Sunak's reputation for competence.

But here's the thing.

Rishi Sunak's reputation for competence is not based on his own competence.

During the pandemic,

he was the chancellor.

He was in charge of our nation's finances.

And he pioneered a scheme that encouraged people to eat indoors in the summer of 2020, right?

His competence is

only based on his predecessor.

Rishi Sunak's reputation for competence is entirely based on the fact that his predecessor as Prime Minister seems to have been breastfed from a car exhaust.

And it's absolutely

what it's based on.

And what's become quickly apparent is Rishi Sunak is out of his depth.

I have never seen an Asian man look more out of his depth since I caught sight of my own reflection during sex.

It's unbelievable.

I laughed too hard.

I'm sorry, Nish.

Yeah, it's not what you wanted

this close to the start of being Prime Minister.

Hari, have you

found the early sort of month or so we've had of

Rishi Sunak watching on from America?

I mean, it's kind of weird because a part of me is like, okay, so the queen died.

That's cool.

And then after she died, they elected...

It's an Indian guy running the UK.

That's probably going to piss a lot of people off.

Like, oh, the colonized is now in charge of the colonizer.

But then, from what I've heard, he is still colonized.

Is that accurate, Nish?

Is that alright?

Well, let me put it in terms of the film Get Out Hurry.

My concern would be if someone took a flash photo of Rishi Sunak, a single tear would roll down his face

and he'd take my hand very firmly and urge me to to leave the establishment that we were both in.

Could I take my old Bobby Jindal jokes and just use them for this Prime Minister?

Because I'm assuming that he's basically what Bobby Jindal has always wanted to be.

And, you know, and I'm thinking, I don't really know much about this man, but could I just reuse those jokes?

Yeah, listen, we're talking about climate crisis.

We've got to recycle where possible.

And all South Asian comedians from America should be recycling their Bobby Jindal jokes for Richie Sunak.

No dude.

No dude.

Richie Sunak's predecessor but one Boris Johnson

is set.

One of the weird things we have in this country

and our American listeners would no doubt be able to relate to this is resignation honours.

So a departing prime minister can give knighthoods and other state honours to to people.

They submit a list and

including seats in the House of Lords.

Now, a seat in the House of Lords is a seat for life in Parliament.

And Boris Johnson has appointed on his...

Boris Johnson is trying to appoint on his resignation peerage list a shameful list of bootlickers, bimbos and tropical island holiday facilitators who between them can be proud to have pushed trust in politics to an extreme low during their tenures and offered very little in return to the British people.

Now sorry for not being balanced.

What I did there was I quoted from a Conservative MP,

a Tory MP, describing Johnson's resignation peerages.

Now that was a report on the Sky News website.

The reaction from everyone else can be summarised as, well, I know Johnson laid his cards on the table, but still, for f sake!

Two of his advisors are set to be given this seat for life in our parliament for having advised a prime minister who took some of the least advisable decisions in the history of this country.

So why would you allow a departing prime minister this privilege?

I know in America, Hurry, you have presidential pardons where you basically legalise crime.

It's like a kind of bizarre plot of

some knock-off

sci-fi film or something.

Well, I mean, in Britain, what this is, is part of the British method of political corruption.

What we have done, we have baked it into our system.

We give it a fancy title and ideally some strange clothing involving some sort of dead animal.

And bingo, we have fully formalized and normalized the kind of graft that in less civilized, less democratically advanced countries would take years of behind-the-scenes effort and millions, if not billions, of dollars.

That is the British, British.

We're number one.

We're number one.

It makes Indian politics seem a little bit more reasonable, once again, right?

Because this is,

you have to go through all that work instead of, okay, here's an envelope full of like a hundred lakhs.

You can go

yeah i i said earlier that uh american politics was like tedda uh british politics is like a film that stars kevin spacey that came out recently

it yeah it's an it's a source of uh deep national embarrassment uh it's it's a very strange thing that people can just be you know given the position of power and be sort of sat in the House of Lords for as long as they want.

That's weird, anyway.

The fact that we have the fact that our parliament, which claims to be the mother of democracy, has just one bit of it that has people called lords in it is unbelievable.

Like, none of that should have happened.

Yeah, and so with Gavin Williamson, I mentioned he was knighted, so he's now technically Sir Gavin Williamson.

And the convention is that he's then referred to in news reports and news broadcasts as Sir Gavin, not as Williamson.

And it annoys the living f out of me.

Yeah, especially when the news report in question is referring to the fact that because the reason that Gavin Williamson has had to quit is that several allegations have been made about bullying within various government departments, including Williamson taking real umbrage at not being invited to the Queen's funeral and inviting one civil servant to slit their throat.

Yes, which is impolite.

It's not knightly behaviour, isn't it?

It's not knightly behaviour.

I'll tell you what is knightly behaviour.

Slitting someone else's throat.

Not this lazy knight bullshit.

Oh, please go and split your own throat.

Listen, Gavin Williamson, if you're a f ⁇ ing knight of the realm, take a sword in your hand and take matters into your own hands.

Not only is he rude, he's lazy.

I do think he should have been invited to the Queen's funeral.

I think they knock on the Pope's coffin.

And when a Pope dies, they knock on the coffin to check that he's definitely dead.

And I think if Gavin Williamson had been at the funeral, there's quite a good chance that the Queen would have burst out of her coffin and said, get that out of this room now.

And she'll still be with us today.

And now, to wrap up this sub-episode, here's what you paid your money for.

If you have indeed paid money, if you want to pay money, go to thebugalpodcast.com and click the donate button.

Well, it's from our 15th anniversary show.

And it's...

Well, a very special 15th anniversary pun run recorded in Dublin in front of a live and

let's say thoroughly enjoying themselves crowd with Alice Fraser and Chris Addison suffering stroke joining in via the wonders of the internet.

Right,

well I think we should finish off by maybe looking back to 2007 since it is our 15th anniversary and what was going on in the world in October 2007.

Because the very week that the bugle started,

now 15 years and what two, three weeks ago,

there was a major United Nations meeting.

And I had a friend who actually worked at the United Nations at the time, and he was running all the various competitions to keep the world leaders interested, kind of the social side of it.

No.

No.

And

he met all the world leaders of the time.

What the fuck?

First rule of showbiz, Chris, give the people what they want.

I think we're saying the same thing.

And my mate was working at the UN.

He met all the world.

He's met the Chinese leader at the time.

He said he was a very interesting man who'd, interestingly, made all of his money selling cloths for people to dry themselves with and was still a world leader in that market.

He was huge in towels.

Audience, you cannot leave unless you test negative.

Run for the doors.

The Libyan leader, he gave a speech, but it was absolutely rubbish.

And my mate bumped into him afterwards and said, that wasn't very good, mate.

And he said, well, I still got paid for it.

And and my mate said you got a fee

Colonel

no

then he met the

I don't know what stage of his career that was taken but

there must have been a moment you remember how he died with the metal pole inserted where metal poles are not There must have been a moment when he thought to himself,

yeah, I had that coming.

so my mate at the UN he met the Zimbabwean leader at the time at the fancy dress party actually and he looked a bit nervous and so my mate went up to him

I'm not sure about my costume and he'd come as a highwayman but also wearing kit that Neil Armstrong wore on his lunar mission and he said my friend do you like it and it my mate said I don't know it's a bit robber moon garby

And he was a bit stressed already because he'd given a lift to the German Chancellor, but he'd had to borrow a car.

He borrowed this this really posh German car, a Benz, in fact, from a mate of his.

But his mate was then late back from his fishing trip, and my friend described it as his angler merck hell.

But

he never really recovered.

He can't drive now.

I remember my mate, he

was

speaking to this with the Afghan leader, and he said,

whenever he was drunk, he got very modern about the fact that he'd never be able to drive his Lamborghini again.

But he came to recognise when he was really upset about something and when it was just his hammered car sigh.

And

he lent a car to the Spanish king, but he parked it in New York and then couldn't find it again afterwards.

They just never got it back again.

And I said, that must have been annoying.

And he said, well, Andy, it was just one car lost.

Anyway, so my mate was judging the cookery competition that the leaders held.

It's a big cookery competition.

And the Syrian desk bot, he tried this really weird recipe.

He cooked a roadkill animal that he found from the English countryside, but in the style of a recipe by a famous 18th-century French writer who was renowned for his pioneeringly filthy pornographic stories.

Yes, he cooked them badger al-Assad.

The Russian leader, he just in the cookery competition just did some potatoes with cheese and gravy, Canadian style.

And

my mate said it wasn't very good, but because he's kind of intimidating, I felt I had to tell him that it was really quite tasty.

Yes, I had to flatter a mere Poutine.

Oh,

you can't handle the truth!

I do feel, Andy, if you're having to illustrate the puns with the people so we know what you mean.

The UK Prime Minister carved an apple medusa for the cookery competition, but he forgot to wrap it overnight.

When he came down in the morning, it had discoloured.

Oh, no, he said.

Oxidation, it's turned my Gorgon brown.

His predecessor, his predecessor happened to be there as well.

He got sick, He was one of the judges.

He got sick eating all the food.

He ended up kind of bent double,

stretched out, touched the end of his lower limb, then touched the middle of his legs, and he just vomited everywhere.

Toe, knee, blah.

It was...

It was won by the French president.

He got a choice of prizes.

They'd been donated by the top golfers from the 1960s and 70s.

They'd given the items they used to keep their pets warm in, and they all had aquatic animals.

He had to choose the prizes

from Arnold Palmer's Turtle Sleeping Bag, Gary Player's Dolphin Onesie, but in the end he went with Jack Nicholas Shark Cozy.

They're actually hurting you now, aren't they?

There were other competitions as well.

The British head of state was there.

She was entering

her pets in competitions for smartest fish and nicest reptile.

But she had a bit of a problem at the Queen with her goldfish, whose scales were looking a bit dull, and her gecko, which had halitosis.

And she said to my friend, I'm going to have to sort this out: shinier skin for my fish is my first priority, and cleaner lizard breath the second.

God bless you, Brenda.

What have I become?

There were interesting lectures, too.

The head of the Catholic Church, he gave a lecture about the medical issues of 17th century British poets.

All of them had very embarrassing personal bodily issues.

But the Pope got a bit confused.

He was trying to do his speech without notes.

And he said at one point, I know one of them, one of these poets from the 17th century, had a scrotum-related skin issue.

Another had rather troublesome wind, and one of them, who'd had 15 other health issues previously, had a curious curvature of the wang shortly before he died.

But who was who?

Oh, I remember now.

It was Milton, eczema on his buttocks, Dryden, flatulence, and Pope, Bendy Dick, the 16th and

final illness

of his life.

Oh, God.

And there can be no more appropriate way to finish this gig.

Oh, yeah.

I'll tell you what, there's a couple I haven't done on this tour.

I'm going to leave.

I'm joking.

No, no, no.

They also had a music video competition.

The

American president, he'd superimposed his vocals on pop videos by a great female vocalist of the 1980s.

He was fine when he was doing Tina Turner and Cindy Lauper, but he couldn't really do the high notes.

And he ended up getting the

massive James Bond baddie from Moonraker, who had a surprisingly high falsetto voice when he sang.

And he ended up doing the vocals on his cover version of Wuthering Heights.

And my friend said to him, I can't believe it.

Did George W.

Bush?

Well, can't believe you didn't do that one before, Andy.

So good.

Right.

I mean, there were more.

Oh, no, Andy, I'm sorry.

You're so...

You're like a delicate, precious flower that's covered in toxic lace.

Right.

Second rule of showbiz, Chris, always leave them wanting, always leave them wanting considerably less.

Achieved.

Anyway, at the end of it all,

my mate bumped into the Iranian leader.

He wasn't very well at the time.

He had to have all his food intravenously, injected by a syringe.

But he was really down and lacking in energy.

And then

he said, I need something to lift my mood.

Ah, my dinner jab.

Whose brain works like that?

More?

No, no, you've got to finish.

Because I know when I first did the puns, it was with John Oliver, and I sometimes think, John, how would he deal with us?

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Come on.

Right.

I'm just trying to think, there were probably about 156 global leaders at the time.

And I was thinking of, I don't know, just calling my wife and children and telling them I love them.

My mate was quite impressed and intimidated by the.

He met the Egyptian leader, the Egyptian leader, and

he was impressed and intimidated.

The finally honed upper body physique of this young rising star of the Democratic Party was there at the time, the Egyptian leader, of course, went on to become the first black president of the USA.

And when he was

kind of impressed by someone, the Egyptian leader, he used to speak in this strange kind of Scottish accent.

And he said, there's nae fat on his chest.

He has ne moobs barak.

Well,

I think we found the breaking point.

I think we found the breaking point.

I'm pretty sure this is never my breaking breaking point.

I think this is legally now a hostage situation.

Right.

Well,

I would say you asked for it, and some of you did.

Well, I think that's time to wrap up this gig, Chris.

That's the problem with democracy, right?

Yeah, yeah.

That was very much a satire on the Boris Johnson years.

Anyways.

That concludes this week's bugle.

There will not be a bugle next week.

I'm currently immersed in a family emergency, but we will have some more bugle content for you and then we'll be back with a full bugle as soon as possible and practical.

Thank you very much for listening.

Goodbye.

Hi buglers, it's producer Chris here.

I just wanted to very quickly tell you about my new podcast Mildly Informed which is in podcast feeds and YouTube right now.

Quite simply, it's a show where me and my friend Richie review literally anything.

So please come join us wherever you get your podcasts right now.