Bonus Bugle: Where will he be?

The Bugle, audio newspaper for a visual world.

Hello!

And welcome to the Bugle.

I am Harry Hall.

Oh, what was that?

Let's go.

Have another go.

I'm Harry Kundabolu.

Hello.

Hello!

Hello!

Hello!

Hello?

Help me!

Help me!

Switch the promo mode now!

Activate promo bugle!

Do it, ma'am!

For the love of Cthulhu!

Zeus!

Dionysus!

Andy Zoltzmann!

I don't.

Buddhism doesn't have a god.

I don't.

And yet.

So there's ways to find me on the internet.

Can I do a jingle for this?

Bop bop bop.

Andy in the USA.

And I do now have my US tour dates largely confirmed.

Andy in the USA.

Where will he be?

As soon as he finds it, he'll tell you.

Enough now.

The.

So

I will be in the USA on the 15th of October in San Francisco, the 17th in Phoenix, the 19th and 20th in Los Angeles, the 21st in Portland, the 24th and 25th in Toronto, which I know is technically not in the USA, but you know, it's in the same global ballpark on a continental level.

So that's my little Canada trip for this year.

On the 30th of October in Chicago, the 31st in New York, 1st of November in Boston, 5th of November in Philadelphia, the 7th of November in Nashville.

That, but not 100% confirmed yet, but I'm pretty confident it's going to go ahead.

And finishing up on the 8th of November in Washington, D.C.

So please come to all of those shows.

Wouldn't you love to see one of these NFL owners disrespect our flag?

Some owner's gonna do that, but they're friends of mine, many of them.

You guys just really beautiful tackle.

Boom, boom, boom.

They like what's happening with your stream.

But we look at the big London Fashion Week trends, including as the world reaches peak tattoo, the latest

tattoo

that word

tattoo alternatives.

Let's just go with that.

Including full limb upholstery is the big thing this year to replace tattoos.

Permanent, unalterable, lifelong attachment of high-quality furnishing fabrics to your arms and legs.

We look at the latest piping, outline quilting,

cheeky little nail head trim.

Thank you, the internet.

Also, a special focus on the PERMA fabrics that the top celebrities in the world are now getting sewed immovably onto their faces, including chin chints,

adorn your facial nether regions with some hard-wearing florals,

nose tweed,

distinguished yet attention-grabbing, from the full tweed all-nose covering for the discerning aristocrat to a more subtle bridge tweed highlight strip, and I-Viz tabards.

Tabards for your eyelids to make sure your peepers are visible to all from a safe distance with a pair of new fluorescent yellow polyurethane-coated polyester eye jackets, complete with reflector strips for nighttime imspottability.

How does that word even work?

Anyway, so

and also we have an interview with the supermodel Julapinette Splanchez, the world's first fully turfed fashion model,

about her year covered in a luxuriant all-body sward.

So

that section is

in the bin.

So the huge news in tech this week is the launch of the iPhone X or 10.

Hi.

Is it X or 10?

Yes.

Yes, thank you.

Thank you.

It is the first iPhone that you can use in a game of noughts and crosses.

But on and it's very expensive.

On current trajectory, the iPhone 20 when it comes out in what about 10 ten years will cost 8.7 million pounds have a screen 260 times larger than the phone itself with a high enough resolution to see individual electrons in the sandwich you've just unnecessarily photographed It will know so much about your personal life and motivations that it that you will instinctively call it mum

It will have more than 5,000 different emojis for is that the right word Helen

Emos.

For every human emotion, including, it will also include a fully functioning three-dimensional squash court and be so trendy that you just have to take it out of your pocket in public to garner up to 100 immediate requests to breed.

So, and it will also be able to connect a phone call to another phone for approximately nine seconds before dropping out.

So, I mean, it's huge, huge, huge steps forward.

Hello, buglers!

Sorry, is that my phone?

Oh, Andy!

Well, sorry.

And Len alert, is it?

It could be a fall of wicket.

It's actually.

Buglers should probably know that we are recording during the England West Indies Test match.

There is a rain break, but if it doesn't hold, we may be down a bugler.

That's why I've got two of you in this week to cover that eventuality.

I've been burned by this before.

You go off and watch the cricket, I'll talk about the musical crowd.

We are one break of sunshine away from a rudderless ship.

This is the most precarious bugle I've ever been involved in.

My name is Twiggy.

I'm a dove who found a stick.

My name is Nish, and I love rap.

Oh, dear.

You're already picking up on this.

You did the hands and everything there

my name is nish and i'm here to say

um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um um

hi buglers it's producer chris here i just wanted to very quickly tell you about my new podcast Mildly Informed which is in podcast feeds and YouTube right now.

Quite simply, it's a show where me and my friend Richie review literally anything.

So please come join us wherever you get your podcasts right now.