Bonus Bugle – Too Much News #1

Thanks once again to Radiotopia for hounding us.

Hounding us.

Hello buglers.

There is no official bugle this week because, as I may have mentioned before, I am in Australia now doing shows at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival and subsequently Sydney, Auckland and Wellington.

Do come along to all of them.

In the meantime, here is a show of outtakes from the last few months since the Bugle relaunch featuring my glamorous assistants stroke co-hosts Mish Kumar, Anu Vab Powell, Hari Kondabolu, Helen Zoltzman and Wyatt Sinap

Well Downing Street are now trying to move to calm everybody down

because there's plans for Theresa May to make a very big speech later on this month that's going to put all of our minds at rest and calm everyone down.

This is going to need to be a huge speech, Andy.

This is going to need to be a speech that makes we will fight them on the beaches look like a team talk at an under-11's five-aside football game.

I think if she gave exactly that same speech that Churchill did, she would please 52% of this country.

Steal from the best.

The Economist has written a slightly

unflattering cover story about Theresa May.

They've gone with the headline, Theresa Maybe.

No.

Showing the economist maybe should leave the zingers to us.

But in the article, it sort of criticises her for being indecisive and then goes on to compare her as a Prime Minister to Gordon Brown, which

for non-British buglers is not a flattering comparison.

If you're a Prime Minister and you're being compared to Gordon Brown, it's a bit like saying that film was a bit like the Star Wars prequels.

This singer reminds me of Vanilla Rice, or that stand-up comedian is somewhat Kumar-esque.

You've shown your

naivety here as a relatively new member of the Bugle there.

The film reference you had to go for there

was

either Smurf 2 or the Love Guru.

Perhaps you've used the wrong frame of reference.

I can't believe I missed an opportunity to mention the guru.

Have you seen the guru?

Have I seen the Love Guru?

Well, I'm a man of Asian descent, haven't I, Chris?

Of course I've seen it.

It's part of our national diet.

It's such a pleasure to watch the culture of my ancestors be represented so faithfully on screen.

What was the name of his.

Do you play Dick Pants?

Dick Pants.

I still haven't watched it.

I had it stored on my

TV hard drive thing for about five years and never got around to it, then deleted it.

Someone gave me a DVD of it at a gig.

I still haven't.

And it was good.

And I think I'm pleased with that because when I saw John in America in September, I was still able to look him in the face.

There was another gender war story, Helen, that you alerted me to about a lady shark eating an entire man shark.

Now, it turns out you then subsequently say, well, this is no longer relevant because it happened more than a year ago.

I mean, it's still relevant to our lives.

It was just one of those stories that got thrown up by an algorithm to make it look like it was current, whereas I think it happened last January.

But I think that shark speaks for women everywhere because that male shark had kept on nudging her and eventually she snapped.

And any woman who lives in London has been subject to unwanted touching on public transport.

And at some point we're gonna eat those men with our shark's teeth.

Right.

Watch out.

Right, I mean, I don't I mean there's not a statute of limitation on stories about sharks eating other sharks.

I mean I don't think it doesn't have the same

rule of topicality that maybe some politics has.

I guess so.

And also after what Eve did, which is ages ago, that's still relevant, isn't it?

Eating that contraband apple.

Oh,

honestly.

She started everything.

Stealing that apple out of Pandora's lunchbox or whatever it was.

But

I know it's a fish-eat-fish world out there, but to me, this is feminism gone mad, Helen.

A lady shark being allowed to eat a man shark.

It was the kind of thing that everyone feared when they let Joan of Arc enter Wimbledon.

Why, because she ate all the men.

I think so.

They should have respected her personal space and not nudged her.

Well, she played very well.

She was on fire.

Oh, God.

Another shark story.

Someone found a dead shark in a Walmart in Florida in a shopping trolley.

Yeah.

Buy one, get one free on sharks all week at Walmart.

Well, it just shows how

PC has gone too far.

That these poor sharks are now so terrified of being hammered in the press for

eating other seals or surfers, being carnivore shamed, that they're now taking life life and death risks, trying to go to online supermarkets to buy tofu.

Tragic, as far as I'm concerned.

Just so they don't get grief from the snowflakes online.

Let the shark live in peace.

And it also shows how deep the riptides of economic inequality are biting.

That even sharks, traditionally quite well off, and they're able to afford a protein-rich diet with quite a lot of sushi and some pretty rare meats and surfer carpaccio-no having to economize buying a Walmart for cheap hot dogs.

It's tragic.

And another shark story in what is rapidly becoming an unexpected shark section.

A man, and this was this week, a man saved a shark that had a knife stuck in its head in the Cayman Islands.

And it makes you think, what the f was the shark doing in the Cayman Islands?

Pay your taxes, shark.

It's typical, this swung off to a tax haven.

And then when they get injured, they want free healthcare.

You can't have it both ways, Captain Chomp Chomp.

You cannot have it both ways.

So you get like, there's a movie Sharknado.

There's Sharktopus, I believe.

Sharknado 2, as well.

Yeah, so I think Bugle Shark is the inevitable conclusion of this.

It's not such a good portmanteau, Chris.

Okay, well, I thought you weren't a fan of portmanteau.

No, I'm a fan of portmanteaus.

I'm just not a fan of the bad ones.

Shargole.

I saw the portmanteau womanity and it made me very angry.

Womanity.

Yeah, it was a type of body lotion.

Oh, I thought it was some new form of...

Humanity.

Well, I was thinking it was like a new form of mermaid, half woman, half manatee.

Oh, God.

Now I can get behind.

Come on, science.

Step up to the plate and do something people want to see.

I just have one question, Andy.

Because we're talking about mad despots now, and they're everywhere.

And I got a little obsessed with Central Africa.

Right, that's always always a good hunting ground for the despots.

For crazy despots.

And I came across the great documentary filmmaker, Werner Herzog, who wanted to make a film on a guy called Jean-Bidel Bocassa, who was the leader of the Central African Republic.

This was in the 70s.

And it was just about, it was a documentary just about

usurping power.

Just an average day in Central Africa.

But then Herzog's interest changed when there were rumors circulating in that country of the fact that Mr.

Bokasa may or may not be a cannibal.

And when we look at stuff like that, I think the Donald Trump problems ease a little.

You have to look at it all in perspective.

You have to look at it in context.

Because he made this documentary about grabbing power.

Bokasa saw himself in the vein of Napoleon.

He wanted a coronation like Napoleon's.

So it's a film about all that.

But throughout, there's this sly tinge of Herzov trying to find out, does he also eat people?

It seemed like a very specific goal.

It was left ambiguous like all great movies.

So we're never sure.

And it's in his biography.

But when you look at it, we have to now look at all these people in context.

You know, there's Mugape, there's Trump, there's Putin, there's Modi, you know, just

he's vegetarian, so we're okay there.

Right.

So

what you're trying to say is we should all cheer up because Trump is not a cannibal.

I think it's a start.

It's a start.

It's got a rob.

Clutch at those straws, and from humble straws, you can build a giant skyscraper.

Who's the Breitbart guy that Trump appointed?

Steve Bannon.

Steve Bannon.

I like how Chris jumped out with that answer.

It was like a competition there.

Yeah, I mean, we should take each other in a quiz night at any time.

My answer to every question, though, is Steve Bannon.

Oh, that's a problem.

You're going to get it right a few times, but you're going to be down points a lot of the game.

Yeah, I'm just relying on first impressions, I saw.

Yeah.

I was once banned from a sports quiz

because

my team had won it three years in a row, and they told us to...

told me I wasn't allowed back the next year.

Really?

Yeah.

Badge of honour.

It's probably the intellectual highlight of my adult life.

That's a pretty good one.

I was banned from a mall because I told a mall cop to f off.

We all have our crosses to bear, why?

Yeah.

Well, I mean, there has been a story of almost equal importance breaking recently.

And that is the news that science has studied the famous Mona Lisa painting by Leonardo da Vinci and concluded that after centuries of argument, the Mona Lisa is in fact happy,

not sad or in between.

Science.

This is a study by the University of Freiburg, Hari.

And regularly on the bugle...

we do contemplate exactly what science is doing with its height.

Where is that university?

Where is Freiburg?

I think it's in Germany, isn't it?

Oh, Germany.

Oh, okay.

It's a good country.

Okay.

It's a good university, claims Chris.

Apparently so, yeah.

It has a very good knowledge of German higher education.

I think it's like one of their elite academic institutions.

It doesn't, I mean, people have disputed for years with the Mona Lisa.

Is she happy?

Is she sad?

It's a kind of, it's that mysterious smile that has even sparked a film of the same name, the Mona Lisa's smile.

I think think all these things are relative.

I think she is...

I don't know if she's happy or sad.

What I do know is that, as judged by comparison with people in 2017, the Age of Fury, she is f ⁇ ing ecstatic.

She has a face that has never, A, listened to a radio phone in about Brexit.

B, observed even from a distance, American politics.

C, used Twitter.

D, read below-the-line comments by anonymous readers on newspaper websites underneath stories about one or more of the following rage-inducing subjects a anything or b anything else she's never e thought about the 1990 world cup football final she's never got to be quite a lot of

football

final reference that's three different world cups in one show

Two of them won by Joe.

Oh, anyway.

She's never F thought about using a southern train service into London.

And she's never G tried to get a mobile signal to check the cricket score on holiday in Portugal and been unable to do so for more than four hours.

I'm just getting flashbacks.

So no wonder she looks chilled out, frankly.

She should be happy.

Also,

a number of other reasons she should be happy.

This picture was painted in the early 16th century, in 1503, Leonardo started it.

She's, of course, she's happy because she's not dead, despite having been alive for quite a long time, which is often a pretty surefire way in those days of becoming dead.

And also, she'd had two children and was still not dead.

I mean, that's pretty impressive by the standard of the day.

She's not currently being tortured, suffering from the plague, being burnt at the stake.

No wonder she's looking chipper.

Also she was the wife of a wealthy silk merchant.

Sure, Hari, it's not like being shacked up with a showbiz megastar like you or me, but still for 1503 that's quite a good catch.

Maybe she's seen something a little bit funny because her eyes are not quite down the barrel of the easel.

Maybe Leonardo had something on his shoulder, like a bird had crapped on his tunic or some of his lunch was stuck in his big old Renaissance hipster beard.

Or maybe his studio assistant Ricardo was doing his famous chicken impression.

We don't know.

It's just as if she's about to break into some kind of

maybe da Vinci as an alleged vegan had broken wind.

I mean,

we just don't know.

Also, this painting apparently took the big arty idiot over a decade to finish.

I don't think he's ever been called that before.

Leonardo.

A big arty idiot.

You can put that on his posters.

It took over a decade to finish, and maybe the smile was the last bit, because the eyes are saying, when the f ⁇ is this going to end, Leonardo?

And the mouth has just clearly just been told just give me 20 20 minutes to wrap this up um

so um

big news for the Mona Lisa actually I I uh scientists have found out why why she's smiling right it's a why is that well apparently uh da Vinci's fly's open and his cocks out

science proved that science

right

Okay, is that science you've just made up?

No, no,

it's from the Freiburg

University.

Right.

An accredited university in the world.

I just don't know what's truth anymore.

The Guardian art writer, Jonathan Jones, recently claimed that the Mona Lisa might have had syphilis

because 10 years after it was painted, apparently there's documentary proof that she bought a medical concoction made of snails.

So that's pretty much proved.

Also, she's not wearing an I don't have syphilis badge.

So it was pretty clear that is the

a man in Germany tried to leave his house and found out that his front door had been bricked up.

Now it's unclear whether this was a prank or an act of

a threat.

or a logistical error.

But it made me think, Nish,

is that bad?

I mean, looking at this, if you were given the chance to be bricked into your house at this point in human history, would you take it?

Only if I could, only if the bricks were leadlined.

But I also think this could be a blueprint for Trump, because this would make more sense to me than building a wall across the border with Mexico.

Just brick everyone in America into their own homes.

That is the logical goal of the insular Trump activist.

Yeah, I mean, we can still, I mean,

he's almost certain to do that to the White House I imagine.

Yeah, but and why stop and why not just brick the entire world would be a happier place if everyone in the world simply bricked themselves in.

I mean look at history.

Most major wars and human disasters have been caused by people who are able to leave their homes

Adolf Hitler being prime example.

So if we just every if everyone in the world all seven billion plus of us just brick ourselves in a little you can do everything online now.

You have drones taking people's food everywhere.

You can

human reproduction, even you can do that.

Absolutely.

Drones involved there as well.

Drones just, you know,

you know, find your find your reproductive partner online.

You even have a three, there's this new, we're getting on to tech later in the show.

Some very exciting new tech that's just come out, the CES show in 2017 that we'll talk about later,

which is a Pregmatech Incubutero 7.3 Auto Womb,

which

basically is a very high-end 3D printer.

It's a 5G, 4D wireless mechanical electronic techno womb that enables you to grow your own offspring on a windowsill.

You and your partner, or partners, it's 2017, whatever you think is best, once you've cracked your feminices and your masculine micro squigglers into the Incubutero, you just wait 24 hours and the AutoWomb prints out a little baby for you.

There you go.

That's just one of the many exciting new products that we'll be talking about.

And the Republican Party is already moving to guarantee the life rights of these windowsill fetuses.

You've taken an admirably sort of philosophical perspective with this story, Andy.

My question is far more prosaic.

Who are these builders that could just knock up a wall overnight?

Managed to deliver a project that's not even been asked for in time and under budget in that he was charged zero money.

These guys are clearly the greatest builders in the world.

They're whatever the opposite of cowboy build they're Indian builders.

Or maybe they're just ancient Egyptian builders who've been woken by the breaking of a curse.

We just brick people into rooms.

It is quite an extraordinary story because he did just wake up and find himself unable to leave his front door and obviously had to call the police.

And a police spokesman said to a local journalist, it reminded me of the building of the Berlin Wall.

That went up pretty quickly too.

But he then added, it's a crime and no joke.

There's that classic German sense of humor there, Andy.

Straight in there.

I mean, comparing one bricked-up doorway to the Berlin Wall is

that's bold in many ways.

Yeah, you don't need Hasselhoff to bring that wall down.

Yeah.

I mean, the Berlin Wall,

as I recall, it wasn't possible to just go around and use one of the windows at the side.

If it did, those guys really made a fuss over nothing.

This came in on Twitter from Andrew Broadworth.

A very important question in this week of all weeks, Hari.

I don't know if you have any opinion on this.

He asks, South Africa apparently has an anchovy-based Marmite-type spread of its own.

How does it measure against Marmites and other similar spreads on the disgusting scale?

Are you a connoisseur of Marmite?

By connoisseur, if by connoisseur you mean I've tried it once and nearly vomited, then yes.

Yes, I am.

I mean, South Africa is not renowned as a as a culinary destination.

Um, so I can only imagine once you know I've picked up Marmite and run without a baton.

What the hell are they going to end up with?

Um chuck some anchovies in it, why not?

Uh I'm I'm a moderate fan of Marmite,

but yeah, I mean I cannot it the South Africa a South African version of anything that isn't built on is frankly a risky culinary path to go down as far as I'm concerned.

what's on the bugles dating profile well I've no idea we did this thing years ago with the old bugle email address where I can't remember how it happened but people signed the bugles email address up to what can only be described as an unbelievable shitload of dating sites literally there was like an dating sites of every religion and ethnic background

I think I now that you're saying it I think I actually remember this incident yeah do you remember signing us up for any day?

As a result of which, that email address became unusable.

Too sexy.

It's very hard to unsign yourself up from these things.

That's how they get you.

As I keep telling my wife.

This election campaign is finally put out of its misery on Tuesday.

And the 2020 campaign begins at 8 a.m.

on on Wednesday.

Yes.

How do you see that?

I mean, are you excited about that?

I mean, there'll be like a, I think about a two-minute break in between

in between the electoral cycles.

And I mean, could Trump run again?

I look forward to that.

Maybe first clown president.

Maybe that's what shows up.

We've got a clown epidemic now.

Maybe this is our opportunity.

They need a voice.

They want to be heard.

Clown president.

Well, that brings us on to, well, another story you mentioned,

the creepy clown epidemic that has

torn the world apart.

I think it's probably the biggest news story of this year, bigger than Brexit, bigger than the American election.

The world is terrified of clowns.

And I respect these creepy clowns.

They've come to Europe now.

They've been scaring people in Europe, obviously happened in the US and Canada.

I respect crowns because we live in a world of groundless scaremongering.

At least these creepy clowns take the time and effort to actually properly scare people.

And this is this is what we need.

We need genuine I've had enough of the the lies of the scaremonger.

I want people I want genuine, genuinely frightening people, actually frightening people.

People who are willing to put on makeup.

Like that's also they're putting in the work.

Like they're not just saying something scary.

They took 45 minutes to an hour to

like put on the red mouth and the weird like do the weird triangles over their eyebrows and put a wig on.

Yeah,

I appreciate and I respect I respect the amount of work that went into that.

There's also a part of me that wonders, as terrified as we are of a zombie apocalypse, if perhaps this is how the zombie apocalypse begins.

Because we're scared of zombies, but clowns we're not too sure about.

Maybe the clowns are are actually zombies in clown makeup to get our defenses down.

They make a balloon animal and we're like, oh, thank you.

And then they eat your brain.

Right.

Well,

that's an interesting interpretation of

the clown crisis.

I mean, that does seem quite a, you know, strategically,

that's a good way to go about it, particularly in this year of so many distractions, people being afraid of change, of no change,

of crazy candidates, that

the zombies can sneak in under cover of clown.

To give some context to the clown, well, you know, why are people so obsessed with these killer clown pranks?

I put the search term killer clown prank into YouTube and it came up with over 100,000 possible videos and the most viewed killer clown prank video that came up from that search had been viewed 92 million times.

Now when I put global warming into the YouTube search engine, the most watched video was only 35 million.

So it appears that as a species, we are two and a half times more interested in killer clown pranks than the potential end of the planet Earth.

And the Sudan Civil War got just 540,000 views.

Well, and also that Sudan Civil War is just the...

It's just a trailer for Marvel's Civil War,

but just for the Sudanese people.

Oh, right.

So

that is.

His marketing gone mad, isn't it?

That really is.

Yeah, that movie didn't do, it didn't do that well in the Sudan.

It did well everywhere else.

It's interesting you should mention warfare in the context of clowning, because clowns have a great military history, particularly in the

British Army.

We used to use clowns militarily.

In the Second Afghan War in the 1840s, there was an entire regiment of clowns under the command of General Arnelius Glooch.

And if I may read briefly from the British history of military clowning,

it was whilst he was on the road to Kandahar

that news arrived that Her Majesty Queen Victoria had alleviated General Glooch of his duties.

This followed the failure of his tactic of making his soldiers fight against Sher Ali Khan's men in full clown outfits.

Whilst his intention was laudable to reduce the enemy to such a peak of hysteria that they were unable to return fire, the practicalities of clown warfare proved rather problematic.

General Glooch's clown cavalry found that their animals were rather hard to manage whilst wearing large, ill-fitting footwear, and also they were often fighting with up to 30 clowns to a single horse.

The cannons of the 3rd Frampshire Clownsaliers ineffectively fired custard pies at the enemy, many of which, in the merciless Afghan wind, blew straight back into the faces of the advancing British clownfantry.

Furthermore, many men fell in the battlefield and remained untreated as the waiting clown medics assumed that they had been simply felled by the giant ladders carried by their fellow clownbotants as they swung round in apparent surprise whenever something went bang.

So

very uh sad history of uh clowning in the British Army.

Uh even more worryingly from uh an evolutionary point of view, and I'm very concerned about our status as number one species in the world, as you know, um chickens apparently exhibit Machiavellian tendencies,

according to one article.

I think they might be inferring I don't know if these scientists use the term Machiavellian or not, but actually, this doesn't make sense.

She's saying chickens exhibit Machiavellian tendencies.

I've always knew it.

I always knew.

Michael Gove is a chicken.

Look at him.

Chicken.

Look at his face.

Listen to him talk.

Watch his wattle move when his plots unfold.

Chicken.

So, yeah, they're plotting their avenge.

They're descended from the dinosaurs.

So that's what you'd expect from these peaky little bastards.

I can't wait to see the new Jurassic Park movie featuring a T-Rex, a Velociraptor, and a devious chicken.

One of the scientists involved, Dr.

Laurie Marino, said, the very idea of chicken psychology is strange to most people.

Yes, Dr.

Marino, it is.

And that is because most people have got shit to do.

It's a busy world.

We would all love to spend more time thinking about chicken psychology.

But it's always one of those things that gets put off for later, isn't it?

It is so hard to prioritize in a competitive global globe or world

thinking about chicken psychology.

People just don't have time anymore.

Back in the day, of course, you'd happily spend an afternoon sitting outside the coop chatting, trying to get to the bottom of what makes them cluck or tick.

Depends on the breed, of course.

I mean, I would love to have the time now, Nish, to pop my chicken buddies on the couch and get right into their id.

But I don't have time.

If I didn't have children and a job...

Well, sport to work on tele.

Stuff to do, like coming for my own weekly session on the couch with my own shrink dr chris here you're not you're not still recording our and broadcasting our special chat so good by the way some good news i'm not hearing that weird english guy's voice in my head anymore once a week like i used to

that seems to be cured but bad news i'm hearing a range of other voices and they scare me

the Tory MP John Redwood, uh he uh he said this, I cannot believe the judges failed to read the leaflet.

So there was this leaflet given out in a build-up to Brexit explaining what would happen, saying that, you know, if we voted for Brexit, then Brexit would happen.

So it appears we now have governments

by leaflets.

That is, that is, I mean, I thought we ditched that shit when it turned out the Magna Carta was full of bullshit.

Yeah, leaflets don't get things done.

I mean, that's...

Were they leaflets that were just left under the windshield wiper of...

people's cars?

Essentially, yes, essentially.

Nobody's going to read that.

But apparently we now have legally binding leaflets in this country.

And it's now, in fact, it is compulsory.

You can be sent to jail if you do not eat two pizzas for the price of one on a Wednesday.

That is the law of the land.

More on Article 50 in next week's Bugle.

Your emails now.

This came in from Ben Lyford.

Who writes, hello, Andy.

F you, Chris.

F ⁇ you, Ben.

I didn't even get a shout-out.

F you, Ben.

I watched your section on Matt Ford's Unspun show last night.

I'm doing a little bit of telly at the moment.

Yeah.

After

18 years in showbiz.

Saltzman's gone full, meet.

You're part of the media elite.

And I felt I had to get in touch.

I think it's fair to say we've

put up with a lot from you, Zoltzmann, over the past few years.

The intermittent podcast, the literal hemorrhaging of long-term co-presenters, pun runs, no pun runs, and the craven nepotism of jobs for the Zaltzmans

but the mathematical inaccuracy of the blackboard in your piece on unspun is one stage too far now so I recorded a piece about education and it just a and it's he had a little black back blackboard with mathematical sure formula in the back in the background and Ben has pointed out I saw what I can only assume to be the quadratic formula top right.

I say assume, because instead of writing x equals minus b plus or minus the root of b squared minus 4ac over 2a, you put x equals minus b plus or minus the root of b squared minus 4a over 2a.

No c.

Where's the constant gone?

asks Ben.

How is the discriminant going to tell whether there's naught one or two solutions?

If you can't even get the basic quadratic formula right, how can we be expected to believe your bullshit?

The scales have fallen from my eyes.

Sweet baby Jane, that is an email.

Yeah.

Ben,

you have a lot of time on your hands my friend this could be my my own personal watergate oh my god this is the smoking gun

Ben is deep throat

that is absolutely that is incredible because of all for all of the bullshit you've spun yeah it really does feel like it's funny it's like how they got Al Capone on tax evasion

in my defense I did pass the actual writing of the blackboard on to a to an underling.

Yeah, of course.

It's TV and Shobisnit.

This is like Trump and Russia.

That production manager was your Jeff Sessions.

Do keep your emails coming in to hellobuglers at thebuglepodcast.com.

Right.

I think that's appropriate in the circumstances.

Every 54 seconds is a record.

I don't like terrorists.

I can't help myself.

Look, we can.

We can't help but sometimes view these kind of incidents through the prism of how it's going to affect us in the short term.

And people are thinking, oh, God, is this going to lead to me being searched at airport security?

Or people thinking, oh, God, is this going to complicate me getting to work?

Chris now sees terrorist incidents and thinks, oh, God, I'm going to have to edit so much swearing out of the bugle.

A lot of people don't like the bleeps on the bugle.

I like the bleeps.

I think they're wrong.

Right.

Really?

Yeah.

I think the bleeps are important.

Right.

Oh, yeah.

I agree.

I think there's something funny about.

I think there's something funny about the bleeps.

One, bleeps are funny.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Two,

kids and people who don't necessarily like hearing and do listen.

Yeah.

And

given two,

I think that people who like f and c aren't put off by the bleeping.

Yeah.

Because they still get a sense of it.

Yeah.

Well, that's why, but that's exactly why you're not allowed to do it on a BBC.

Because apparently the bleep is enough of the inference.

But I think it's a shame because I actually think, like, arrested development,

on the DVD, there's the cop, there's the pilot which doesn't have the swearing bleeps.

And then the actual show has the swearing.

And for some reason, it's just much funnier.

I don't know why.

I think it's, yeah.

I think it's really funny.

Also, I bet you.

So if I was to put this show, those pricks, yeah?

Pricks I keep in, and fk I take out.

And I think it's funnier

having half of that sentence.

I still don't really understand though why

on the BBC they uh

there's so much swearing at the top of every hour during before news bulletins.

What's going on with that?

Is this like a bonus extra bit at the end of the show?

I'll save this for an off-cut average.

This is like an Easter egg.

A big f ⁇ ing cut of an Easter egg.

Hi buglers, it's producer Chris here.

I just wanted to very quickly tell you about my new podcast, Mildly Informed, which is in podcast feeds and

right now.

Quite simply, it's a show where me and my friend Richie review literally anything.

So please come join us wherever you get your podcasts right now.