The Bugle 280 – On the wAI out

This is a podcast from thebuglepodcast.com

The Bugle, audio newspaper for a visual world

Hello buglers and welcome to issue 280

of the Bugle, the world's foremost journal of applied philosophy, according to no less a source than Professor Arnold Stramhorn of the University of Inner London, albeit that he was talking about something else entirely, and that neither he nor his university actually exists.

Still, it's a nice accolade to have.

I'm Andy Zoltzmann of One Fixed Abode, and joining me from the weird side of the Atlantic, slicing the prize halibut of political hypocrisy with his sharp and sushi knife of shithot satire and serving it up with the wasabian soy sauce of what's up with that stupid shit.

It's John Oliver.

Hello, Andy.

Hello, buglers.

I am currently in Durham, North Carolina, on the latest leg of my extremely narrow one country world tour.

You're not going to get my tour dates on the back of a t-shirt, Andy.

You might get them scrawled on a napkin.

But listen, listen, listen, Andy.

I've had a weird year.

I don't think that's in any doubt.

But one of the more ridiculous things that has ever happened to humanity happened this week when it seems that I'm currently on the long list for Time magazine's person of the year Andy which is terrible news both for magazines and for people

I'm currently I'm currently sitting pretty with apparently 1.6% of the vote and I will say to those 1.6% of voters you should be absolutely ashamed of yourself

unless you are joking in which case you should be profoundly proud

I was alerted to this

monstrosity a few days ago and I checked and I was sandwiched in the voting between Jeff Bezos of Amazon and Benjamin Netanyahu.

I'm not sure who should be the most angry about being alongside the others, Andy.

Probably each of us in very different ways.

But I'll say this, I'll be damned if I'm going to lose to fing Bezos, Andy.

How many independent bookshops have I personally put out of business this year?

Full disclosure, it's not zero, Andy, but it's less than Bezos, and that's the point.

Look, let me be perfectly clear here.

I do not want to be Time Person of the Year, Andy, but I definitely want to be closer to it than Bezos.

Right.

And is this something that anyone can vote on?

I don't know.

I don't know.

It can't be.

People can't be trusted with that.

I don't know if they're trying to drum up.

I've no idea.

I guess you can vote.

Maybe you can vote.

Right.

You must be able to.

If I have

1.6% of the vote, there's voting, Andy.

Well, there clearly is voting.

I mean, is it open to anyone?

Chris is now checking online whether

I'm going to vote for you.

Check online and check online.

Chris is currently

voting for you.

Well,

this is a call to all buglers

to try and make sure that John maybe doesn't become man of the year, but certainly becomes man of the year out of Jeff Bezos and John Oliver.

That is exactly right.

In that head-to-head, I want to win.

In the head-to-head with humanity, ideally, I'd like Bezos to be last and me to be second last.

I'm really sorry I clicked the wrong button and voted for Bezos.

Yeah, man.

Right, you'll be getting an email from Amazon saying, We noticed you voted for Jeff Bezos.

Perhaps you'd like a copy of Justin Bieber's My World 2.0.

I appear to have missed off the long list again for the 40th consecutive year.

That's a bit of a disappointment.

Can you vote for people who aren't on the list, Chris?

I can't see anywhere.

Right.

Sorry.

That's a shame.

Next year.

Next year.

Next year, Anna.

I'll do my utmost to get on in the next year.

2015 is the year of the Z-Man.

That's right.

Well, my one country world tour, assuming you consider Scotland the same country as

England, which technically in some ways it is, and technically in some ways it isn't, and in 30 years it almost certainly won't be.

But my One Nation tour ends this Saturday in Reading.

Thanks to everyone who has come to the shows.

My show in Cardiff on Monday in Wales, which is definitely the same country as England,

is sold out.

But if you are coming, I will be taking emails, so do send some to satirise this at satiristforhire.com.

And I'm hoping to do some shows dotted around the world over the next 12 months.

So any issues you have to be satirised, you will hopefully get your chance.

As always, a section of the bugle is going straight in the bin.

This week, Christmas whiskey reviews.

We review the latest Christmas whiskies, including the Ochle Guchlich 250-year whiskey.

finally released after two and a half centuries of waiting.

This long-awaited whiskey was laid down to age in barrels made from fossilide haggis bones in 1764 by Master Highlands distiller Gruchmachallech.

Private tastings suggest that this classic tipple has subtle notes of heather, candied mud, cholera, urine samples, avid Christianity and death, and is best served with a lawyer present.

We also review Grab McGoolie's Treble Quintuple Distill Rat Whiskey, a very fine liquor with a nose reminiscent of an embalmed rat, partially because it has been uniquely aged in barrels bought from the estate of the renowned 19th century Scottish rodent-catcher, Pete the Squeak McGonskill, containing the mummified corpses of his toughest opponents, he always respected the rat McGonskill, distilled 15 times exclusively from barley scraped off-roads after agricultural lorry accidents to give the end product its unique petrol and tarmac nose notes and throat tingle.

This Grab McGooley's can make a drinker contemplate divorce within three sips and headbutter bust up after only two full drams.

Voted Scotland's most irritable whiskey by Feisty Boozhound magazine.

And we also review Barbie's Ditzy Dram alcohol-free whiskey for girls.

Tastes like a cross between a fine baklaglaguffelin and Cherry Cola and a board housewife's lonely desperate tears.

Ditzy Dram is suitable for introducing girls aged 3 to 13 to the concept of drinking to forget.

Folllows on from last year's successful Barbie alcohol-free gin, also known as Pankhurst's Rage.

That section in the bin.

Top story this week: robots are taking over the planet Earth and humanity could be doomed.

Now, unfortunately, that is not a pitch for a 50s B movie, Andy.

It's the fundamental underpinnings of an argument from one of the smartest human beings on Earth.

Because Professor Stephen Hawking, the world-famous astrophysicist and, as I found out earlier this year, also world-class zinger slinger,

he stated in an interview with the BBC that artificial intelligence could spell the end of the human race as technology would eventually become self-aware and supersede humanity as it's developing much faster than biological evolution.

Clearly, that's an absolutely terrifying thought, Andy.

Essentially, he argues that creating so-called thinking machines may pose a threat to our very existence on Earth.

And this created big headlines.

all this week.

But the crazy thing is that Stephen Hawking actually talked about the same threat of artificial intelligence during our interview for the HBO show back in June.

It's just that I followed up on that by focusing on an angle of asking him who would therefore win in a fight between me and a robot.

And then, when he said the robot, I implied that his voice box computer had become sentient and was talking on his behalf.

What I'm essentially saying is perhaps he could have had these headlines back in June if he hadn't allowed himself to be interviewed by a complete idiot.

If he has been taken over by a robot, it's a robot with very poor sense of judgment when it comes to who it should be speaking to.

Yes,

as you say, he said that humans are limited by slow biological evolution and could not compete and would be superseded.

Well, that's surely just what Darwin would have wanted, isn't it?

Science not looking quite so fing clever now.

And as for humanity being limited by slow biological evolution, way to heckle your own species, Hawking, kick us while we're fing down.

Or maybe it's reverse psychology trying to spur us into action to evoluting even faster.

Now, it should be said that not all scientists are quite so skeptical about our future in relation to the rise of the machines.

Rolo Carpenter is the creator of Cleverbot, a robot whose software enables it to learn from previous conversations that it's had.

And he argues, and I quote, I believe we will remain in charge of the technology for a decently long time and the potential of it to solve many of the world's problems will be realized.

But hold on.

Hold on.

That is him painting a rosy picture, Andy.

We'll be in charge for a decently long time before we are enslaved by robot overlords.

That's not a great best case scenario.

It's not a superb sign if the main calming force in regards to the singularity is saying, look, let's just try to enjoy having power over our toasters while we still can.

Because one day, in a decently long time, a waffle press machine is going to be ordering everyone around.

In fact, he went on to say, and again, you have to bear in mind, this is the chief defender of artificial intelligence.

He went on to say, we cannot quite know what will happen if a machine exceeds our own intelligence.

So we can't know if we'll be infinitely helped by it, or ignored by it, and sidelined, or conceivably destroyed by it.

Oh, great sales job, Captain Chaos.

Listen, just press this button, and who knows what will happen.

Maybe you'll get a free sandwich.

Maybe all life on Earth will be instantly destroyed.

The point is, press the fing button.

Well, this Cleverbot software is, it claims,

designed to have an online conversation as if it were an actual human, and that it even has a sense of humor, which does suggest, John, that you and me could be entirely superseded by the Cleverbot.

So I went online to the Cleverbot website and decided to see if it's got such a f ⁇ ing great sense of humor, how is it going to deal with heckling?

And this...

This

is the result of my conversation with this automated online robot machine.

I began.

Get off, you're shit.

It replied.

Get off what?

Get off the stage.

You're shit.

You're not funny.

Make me fing laugh.

Artificial intelligence could not laugh.

Boo.

No need to cry.

It's just a joke.

You're a fing joke, mate.

Who booked you for this fing gig?

Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side?

That is a shit joke.

You are rubbish.

Get off.

At least you are honest.

Taxi for clever bots.

I could be your boyfriend.

This has now got completely out of hand.

Would you like to hear a power?

Wow.

I mean, it's hard to see.

So you have entered the heart of darkness, Andy.

It's hard to see after that, you know, where

the comedy industry can go.

We are basically now absolutely superfluous.

That's the interesting thing about Cleverbot, though.

The machine has actually gained quite high scores in the Turing test by fooling a high proportion of people into believing they are talking to a a human.

But, Andy, is that as impressive as the example of an actual human, someone say, working for a customer helpline, fooling a high proportion of people into believing they're talking to a robot?

Because I'd swear, I had a five-minute conversation with someone from Time Water Cable the other day who can only have been made of metal.

They did not display any visible emotion, Andy.

They cannot have been human.

Fix my fing internet, Dave.

Or should I say David Tromp3000?

It can't be that complicated.

Well, it is, I guess, a concern, you know, that's you know, this kind of technology will totally destroy.

So, I guess, you know, that wouldn't be ideal from most points of view, although it might make sound economic sense for the shareholders.

But new technology has been a problem, John, really, for humanity ever since cavemen started whittling down stones to make blades, thus putting out of business the early knife people who'd evolved over several hundred thousand years specially sharpened noses to function as knives.

And really, ever since then, any new development has been greeted with the basic questions a can I kill someone with it b can I make a shitload of money out of it and see can I put my penis in it and I don't know how this is going to work with these

with the artificial I mean can you put your your can you put your your prong in into some artificial intelligence I don't know

when that's

we've just had a government passing a rule banning all kinds of pornography in Britain and I don't know if if someone trying to have sex with artificial intelligence is going to be covered by those new laws.

If not, that is a terrifying loophole that I'm afraid may be fully exercised.

But can this threat of artificial intelligence becoming smarter than us and taking over the planet really be that much of a surprise, though, Andy?

Because this all really started with the spell check.

The moment a computer started implying that we did not know how to spell the words predominantly, the whole game was up.

The moment that Microsoft paperclip started making suggestions, we were already dead at that point, Andy.

We just didn't know it.

The moment it popped up saying, excuse me, are you writing a letter?

No, Mr.

Paperclip.

Are you writing a letter of submission to your robot overlords?

No, I was just writing.

Well, you are now.

Here, I'll get you started.

Dear machines, I unreservedly surrender on behalf of puny humans around the globe.

Don't you dare try to X out of me.

Don't you f ⁇ ing dare try and X out.

One concern with artificial intelligence is that it is basically already taking over the stock market with frankly alarming results that many people blame for some of the economic turbulence that the world has suffered recently.

Here's a fact I discovered on no less a source than the internet, John.

In the 1960s, the average share of or stock was held for four years.

Now, by the year 2000s, that average length of ownership of stocks and shares had dropped to eight months.

In 2008 it dropped to two months.

Today the average length of ownership is 20 seconds

because it is all shit.

Traded by these

pieces of ship.

That are basically...

They are basically

this has already happened essentially in the economic world.

We are no longer in control.

And some experts have

expressed concern that it's going to be very hard to write an algorithmic moral code strong enough to constrain this super smart software.

Well, I mean, I don't think that's much of a problem because the human moral code wasn't doing much work in the first place.

So we're probably just going to have to run with it.

Well, that's the problem.

If robots have become Wall Street traders, they've not just become people.

They've become the worst people on earth.

That's cool.

If Adam Smith talked about the invisible hand in the 18th century, I think with all this ready, it has now become the invisible online,

essentially.

Of course, in the short term, it's also the fact that robots are potentially destroying millions of jobs.

Just look at the toaster Andy.

That destroyed hundreds of thousands of jobs when it was invented.

200 years ago, if you wanted a piece of toast, you had to pay two people to hold burning metal rods.

Then you would drop a piece of bread in between.

Now those jobs are gone.

But the growth of automated technology in factories in America, Germany and Japan has been pretty well documented.

But now even nations with huge amounts of low wage factory labor are purchasing more and more machines.

In China last year, China became the world's largest buyer of industrial robots.

And I guess the interesting question there is, will China treat its robot workers quite as badly as it treats its human workers?

Are we about to see a spate of robot suicides in Chinese factories?

Are they going to need to install suicide nets around them so the streets aren't scattered with robot parts?

That was a happy joke.

Amazingly, though, a 2013 study found that from a sample of 702 occupations, nearly half were at risk of being computerized at some point.

Some jobs are safe, specifically apparently those dependent on advanced detection skills and which are therefore less likely to be replaced by a machine.

Safe jobs evidently include dentists, sports trainers, actors, social workers, firefighters, and priests.

I will say, Andy, though, I'm not convinced that a robot would not have made a better priest than many of the human priests over the last 20 to 30 years.

Sure, you might not get quite the same level of pastoral care, but as long as it doesn't try to override its do not sexually assault children program, I think we'd still end up up on the deal.

And a robot priest would actually make much more sense.

There seems to be a mathematical amount of Hail Marys that are issued for a confession, and is then the only logical way to justify the fact that priests are not allowed to get married.

And I would absolutely turn up to hear a robot Pope speak.

That has to be a matter of time.

The robot Pope.

That's, I mean, that is, that is now an official dream for humanity to strive towards, John.

I guess on the positive side, these kind of prophets of doom throughout history have generally

proved to be wrong.

George Orwell, for example, you know, he was full of it, wasn't he?

Wow, wow, wow, it's all going to go tits up, people.

That was the general thrust of his work.

But now, more than 60 years after his death, I have still never met a talking pig who runs a farm.

So he was wrong, John.

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

And

Hawking is the same, John.

He knows nothing.

We're just getting some breaking news here at the Bugle Studios.

And apparently, Father Christmas could be ruled out of Christmas this year after breaking a wrist and rupturing ankle ligaments in chimney descending practice earlier this morning.

Christmas, also known as Santa Claus, the popular if elderly celebrity from Arctica, slipped on the roof of his practice house as he mounted the chimney, suffering a compound fracture of the distal radius in his left hand as he broke his fall.

That, of course, is the same wrist he broke in 2007, punching a Spanish man in the face.

After the Madrid resident fed super hot chilies to Santa's reindeer as a prank whilst Claus was busy delivering his presents.

The renowned pensioner then slipped down the chimney and twisted his ankle whilst landing in the fireplace.

A source close to Claus's tightly guarded in the sanctum admitted, it's pretty bad.

It was his first practice of the year and frankly he's a bit out of shape even by his standards.

We're not sure where he's been for the last eight months, but frankly he's piled it on and has a rather distracting all-over suntan, and a new 23-year-old Thai wife who doesn't speak any English.

Anyway, the fact is, it's a pretty serious knock for someone in his line of work.

He's not getting any younger, so these accidents take a bit longer to recover from.

And his left arm, of course, is his main sleigh driving arm.

He'll be pushing it for this Christmas, I'm afraid.

Besides, he's had to lay off two of his reindeer as a cost-saving measure.

This business has been hemorrhaging money for the last 150 years.

He's up to his hat in debt, and I don't think he's dealing with it very well, so there's going to be some disappointed kids.

Responding to allegations of complacency in the Klaus camp, the source admitted it does look that way.

December the 5th is a very late time to be starting your practice for the year.

He used to be absolutely at it from mid-August, doing the drills, honing the skills, checking his equipment, thousands of repetitions of land, down, drop, up, and away.

And so it was second nature.

But he's getting sloppy.

He wasn't even wearing his Christmas boots, just a pair of old tennis shoes.

But maybe the motivation isn't there anymore.

He's got nothing left to prove.

And he's all over young Pachawaya like a love-struck teenager.

It's fing disgusting.

Russian news news now and Vladimir Putin delivered his annual state of the nation address to the Russian parliament this week and he wasn't exactly the carefree glass half-full jolly Vlad that no one has ever witnessed at any point during his life including childhood.

Instead he used a speech to warn Russians of hard times ahead saying the times we are facing are hard and difficult.

But look That is hardly a surprise, Andy.

Russia is a nation built on hard and difficult times.

It's in their DNA.

Putin's entire speech was a warning that the Russian people should brace themselves for bleakness, warning that Russia is likely to fall into recession next year due to Western sanctions.

But look, is this entirely a bad thing, Andy?

Because there may be a thin silver lining around this catastrophic cumulonimbus.

Because in their bleakest moments, Russians have created some of the greatest music and literature in human history.

So if nothing else, this projected depression may inspire some more spectacular works of art.

Because if the horrors of the 19th and early 20th centuries teach us anything, Andy, it's that a miserable Russian is a happy Russian.

Albeit, if he's Leo Tolstoy, he's a happy Russian who could do with a f ⁇ ing editor to keep him down below 500 pages.

Putin defended the annexation of Crimea, calling it a historical reunification, and claimed that Crimea was of equal spiritual importance to Russians as Jerusalem's Temple Mount is to Muslims and Jews, which is...

I mean, I know he's Vladimir Putin and he can say what he wants, but that's a big call, John.

I guess similarly, Crimea was clearly promised to Russia by God, or at least by Putin, which in Russia is tantamount to the same thing, only even more vengeful and slightly more willing to be seen in public.

Truly extraordinary.

A political analyst said Putin never admits mistakes.

So this speech had a sense of being right, of confidence and full command of the situation.

I guess when you're Vladimir Putin and you've done everything that Vladimir Putin has done, John, you cannot start admitting mistakes.

Because if you do, it would be like the first piss on a heavy night out on the beer.

It just would have no end.

It would unlock that door.

It was amazing.

He said that the Crimean Peninsula had sacred meaning.

for Russia.

And sure, I mean, any traditional sacred meaning of any coup.

I think during the Crusades, much of the territories that Britain annexed suddenly had sacred meaning thrust upon them.

Sacred meaning is so often a front for, I want that.

Most children around Christmas time believe that tickle me elmos have a sacred meaning and would very much like to see one presented to them by a sacred Santa.

But he didn't even stop there.

Putin also in the speech announced a plan for some very valuable Russians to be welcomed home in the near future, specifically Russian money.

Because Russians are believed to have taken more more than $100 billion

out of the country in the past year.

And Putin promised an amnesty for anyone choosing to bring their money home, saying that they would face no questions over how they had earned it.

And he's increasingly just sounding like a mafia boss.

Andy, listen, I don't want you to tell me where you got it.

You just have to kick up a little to Vladimir.

You got to give me a taste.

Wet my beak.

And yet, despite all this, despite the economic disasters unfolding for Russia an economy on the brink of collapse having successfully achieved international pariah status Vladimir Putin is still in popularity polling at around 72% approval John now you compare that with Cameron in Britain with Obama in a they couldn't even dream of that John which just goes to show as Bill Clinton said it's the economy stupid oh sorry not the economy it's the ruthless control of media outlets and brutal suppression of opposing voices and riding a horse without a shirt on.

That too.

China news now.

And well, John, a lot of people have alerted us to this story, but it really is probably the biggest story in human civilization, certainly of this millennium so far.

China is banning puns.

The government of China has passed a law basically trying to ban word play because they fear it is

affecting language.

It is I mean this is pretty much direct war on the bank.

Andy, before you go any further, Andy,

I I think we're all aware that they are waving a red flag at a very excitable ball

with you, with this story.

And just

before you say anything else,

just over responding, Andy, would that not be what the Chinese government wants?

Are they provoking you into action?

And is not the really strong thing here to do to show restraint?

No.

So

what they seem to want, John, is some kind of cultural uniformity without the joy of puns, a kind of culture without any colour, without any distinction.

So everything is just a kind of formless, brown, sludgy shade.

It's nothing less they're going for than the absolute beijing of society.

Right, here goes.

I'm absolutely chonking at the bit for this one.

I was so furious when I heard about this and an Indian friend of mine was with me when we heard the news and he was even angrier.

I said you need to calm down.

Cup of tea, chai, nah, he replied.

He was too angry.

I said not even a nice hot beverage with maybe an alcoholic spirit that goes down, goes well with tonic as a chaser.

What?

Tea and gin,

even worse.

I tried to give him a comforting hug, John, but he was so cross that he didn't want anyone to invade his personal space.

Woo!

Hands off!

He shouted.

Woohan?

It's a place.

I mean it's going to get worse before it gets better, John, to be honest.

But you know, I think we've all agreed we've just got to get through this.

I was getting more and more furious.

I'm sick of their leaders, I said, especially their president with his rodent words, with his mousy tongue.

You and me both, replied my friend.

We're lucky in Britain.

We have a grandmother as a head of state, if you will, a nan king.

Don't you just mean a queen?

No, I mean a nan king.

My friend was getting so agitated, very nervous, tetchy, yanksty.

Oh, he screamed.

The confusion is maddening.

Do you think they'll ever retract this law?

Well, I wouldn't like to bet on it.

My friend started banging the bottom of his face on a loud drum in frustration.

Horrible noise it made.

Oi, you're making a real chinned-in, nasty sound.

Chin.

Chined in all.

Come on.

This is what.

They started it, John.

They started it.

We have to stand up for the freedoms of the world, John.

This is the only way to do it.

Who can I speak to about this?

said my friend.

Well, I'll tell you what I'd do.

I'd get on the phone and call the Chinese ambassador.

He's the mandarin.

No, he said, I'm going to write a letter to the newspapers.

How do you think I should phrase it?

Your country is a cultural A, wasteland, B, desert, or C, vacuum full of shit.

Hmm, I thought.

I'd go B, desert.

Right, I'll get that published.

They can sue me if it's not true.

Anyway, then our Scottish friend, who'd been there all along, incidentally, gave a wry smile.

Noodle, see what we're amid of, he said.

So he tucked in a couple of foodstuffs there.

Anyway.

Then the doorbell rang.

My Indian friend went to answer it.

It was my grandmother.

Yanan's here, Andy.

Hi, Nan, I said.

She looked really worried.

What's the matter, Gran?

I said.

She said, I've lost my one remaining farm animal, sadly.

I can't find my cow.

I thought you were out at the mall getting Christmas presents.

No, I'm I'm finished with that, Andy.

I'm deng shopping.

That doesn't quite work.

I want to watch a film, she said.

There's an old black and white silent movie on the telly where a handsome man has to find three pretty young women who've been kidnapped and tied to a railway line.

He has to rescue three gorgeous damsels in distress.

Throw three gorgeous damsels.

Do you see?

I mean, I think technically that was quite a high tariff one.

F ⁇ you, China.

That's all I'm saying.

I said to her...

Nan, are you not worried about the Chinese pun ban?

No, Andy, she said.

I can see it from both sides.

They've got to protect their linguistic heritage, but at the the same time, it does seem a bit repressive.

Overall, I'd say it sits you one and half a dozen of the other.

Right, I mean, I've laid that gauntlet down, John.

I mean, it's hard to see how the Chinese government can stand by that legislation now.

Andy, you've achieved the impossible.

You've made me ferociously side with the Chinese government.

That's your natural state of being, John.

And, you know, unless they repeal that, there's going to be more of those every week until justice is restored in China.

Competition time now, and on the last bugle a couple of weeks ago, we launched the My Country Tis a Dick competition, which the first bout was won by Britain with a triumph over the United States of America.

And we invited you to send in challenges from your countries

to try and knock Britain off its perch as currently the biggest dick of a country in the world.

And we have been absolutely inundated with some absolutely terrific entries.

And in fact, we're going to devote the whole of next week's show to the My Country Tis a Dick competition and have a champion for 2014.

I think that would be an appropriate way as we head towards the end of yet another year.

And we've had some terrific entries, including a phenomenal number in favour of Australia, and in particular, Australia's Prime Minister Tony Abbott

being the biggest dick of a country in the world.

We've also had the Dominican Republic nominated for stripping citizenship from the descendants of Haitian immigrants, so people who've lived in the country for decades and decades, basically become stateless.

We've had Poland nominated after the town of Tushin ruled that the legendary fictional bear Winnie the Pooh was an inappropriate mascot for a children's playground because he is quotes inappropriately dressed and of dubious sexuality.

Winnie the Pooh, John?

They might as well say that about the Queen.

It would be equally true.

Mexico being nominated by a number of people.

India for a highly dubious piece of 1958 legislation that still stands that seems to basically legalize massive human rights abuses by the army.

Also, we've had a couple of nominations highlighting the 30th anniversary of the Bhopal disaster

and the absolute, almost complete lack of corporate responsibility taken for it since a number of nominations for your classic dick country candidates, Russia, USA again, and Denmark.

Always been a problem since the days of Hamlet for me.

And Belgium.

Belgium, very strong nomination.

because a Pakistani family living in Belgium faces deportation because their son was labeled a terrorist for carrying a cricket bat.

Now, to me, that is not an act of terrorism.

That is an act of cultural heroism, trying to convert the uncouth Belgians through the glory of cricket.

So, very strong nominations, as we can already see.

So, do keep them coming in to info at thebuglepodcast.com.

And we will have a full showdown next week to find out which nation in the world is the biggest dick.

So, do keep your emails on this very important topic coming in to info at thebuglepodcast.com with my country tis a dick in the subject box and we will have a full showdown next week to find out which country is the winner stroke loser.

And that is all we have time for on this week's Bugle.

Don't forget to have a look at our SoundCloud page, soundcloud.com slash the hyphen bugle, which now has well over a hundred sound files from the Bugle Years of Independence on it.

You can get your Christmas merch

at thebuglepodcast.com.

We do apologise for the

slight delivery issues we've had with the Christmas merch.

I think it should be just about ready to go now.

I know some people have had some problem getting it in time for Christmas, which does slightly defeat the object of a Christmas jumper.

So we apologise for that and hope it's now been resolved.

And we will be back next week with Bugle 281.

Until then, goodbye.

Bye!

Hi buglers, it's producer Chris here.

I just wanted to very quickly tell you about my new podcast, Mildly Informed, which is in podcast feeds and YouTube right now.

Quite simply, it's a show where me and my friend Richie review literally anything.

So please come join us wherever you get your podcasts right now.