We Didn't Start The Fyre!

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You could have done this tongue in cheek. There's so many different ways you could have done this and probably just like healed yourself and your reputation along the way.
But you chose to pretend like you knew what you were talking about the second time and you failed. This part of me feels a little tiny little bit empathetic toward Billy because I think he's just a big lug nut.
I think he's just a big dum-dum who's hoping that something works out in life. And I have been there.
I'm that guy. I'm a big lug nut who hopes this all works out.
I'm just like plodding through life, hoping the commercial break becomes Conan O'Brien overnight. It's not going to happen, but I hope it does.
The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah, cats and kittens.
Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green.
This is the dear friend of mine and co-host of this show, Chris and Charlie. Best of you, Chris.
Best of you, Brian. Best of you out there in the podcast universe.
I lost my mind there for a second. I don't know where it went.
She's our best friend. She's the co-host.
Yeah.

My mouth is not working correctly.

Yeah, welcome back.

Hey, thanks for joining us.

We really appreciate it.

Well, Chrissy, this will be way old news by the time it broadcasts here.

By the time it's getting to your ears, you'll already have heard about it.

But breaking news. Now, as we're recording this, Firefest 2 is not happening.

It is not happening.

In the least surprising news of the year, Billie has managed to fuck it all up. He is such a dumbass.
I saw that a DJ had come out and talked about how she turned it down. Yeah, there's a couple of people who are out there saying, a couple of people have a very similar story to the story that I have, which is they had been contacted by representatives of Fyrefest over the years to participate in some shenanigans.
And all you had to do was pay to be a part of it. Oh! Yeah.
You can cover it if you pay for it, which is the pitch to me. This guy literally called me out of the blue, said, I love your show.
Billy loves your show. We want you to have exclusive rights to interview him on your show for

this and that and the other thing. And then

we went down the rabbit hole for, I don't know,

two or three or four weeks, a month or something

like that. And at the end, it was a pitch to

get me to pay to go to New York

to some exclusive Fyre Fest 2

announcement event where I would pay

$3,000. But he could get me tickets

for $1,500, half price, because I was such a nice

guy. And they liked the show so much.

And while I never

spoke to Billy directly on the

Thank you. thousand dollars but he could get me tickets for fifteen hundred half price because i was such a nice guy and they liked the show so much and while i never spoke to billy directly on the phone i was cc'd on emails and billy responded to those emails from an email that seemingly was billy's i did some homework and it seemed like it was billy's so billy was in on this this is just like one big scamorama i mean billy i'm not saying that billy was trying to scam me out to scam me out of money.
I don't want to misspeak or make a mountain out of a molehill. It appeared that they were trying to get me interested in a press event where you had to pay to be at the press event, which is unlike any press event I've ever heard of.
Which was going to be announcing a fest that now is not happening. That's right.
It was a festival to announce a festival that is now not a festival. There you go.
Just like the first festival. But Deadmau5 responded to the news that this has been postponed indefinitely by saying, well, that sucks.
So people are trying to determine whether Deadmau5 has said this kind of jokingly or if he was actually involved in this. Here's how it went down billy had a billy was supposed to do it in some he was supposed to announce the lineup right he was supposed to well here's how it goes let me give you a timeline of events he announces that firefest 2 is happening he has a team on the ground in mexico because he can't attend because he has a he's on probation because he's got an ankle monitor that in itself is pretty it's pretty funny but he says don't worry i've got professionals involved he named some of those professionals which people find out they are semi-professional they're professional in the way that jam land productions was professional you know what i'm saying we did they have a website they had a website and they occasionally did an event like an event inside inside of a club.
You know what I'm saying? Like not really an event. Kind of like the venue was already there.
They just made. Promoted it.
Yeah, they just made those glossy postcards you hand out on the street. That's what they did.
So next thing that comes is there is a location given. People by east-west, like latitude-longitude.
People put that in their old search machine and find out that that's in the middle of the ocean. There's no land there.
So that's the first indication that something has gone wrong. But it's going to be in this general area.
But no one can figure out exactly who's playing, where are the stages, where do you stay. Billy puts a bunch of hotels on the website and says, these are our partners.

You're going to have a great time. You're going to be hobnobbing with the best in the world and the brightest and the people, the creatives and all this.

Also buy this $1 million package.

Yes, $1 million.

From $1,500 to $1 million.

That's the ticket prices.

And that quickly falls apart when the town where he claimed this was going to be and the hotels who he had said were his partners literally said no no no no no i have no idea yo no say yo no say yeah they had never been contacted no one had ever talked to them which is like an epic clusterfuck given that the first fire fest fell on its face because there was no

place to stay to sleep to eat so you would think those bases would be covered first but hence no

it's billy mcfarland and nothing happened so then a couple of weeks later so billy then the township

comes out and says we don't have any idea what he's talking about never had anybody

file for any permits give us any money yeah you got to go down there and you got to grease the wheels and give a couple people a hundred pesos and figure things. Like, this is the way this universe works, not only in Mexico, everywhere.
I don't, you know, get Jeff on. I'm sure he can tell us a few stories if he didn't want to do the festival again next year.
You know what I'm saying. I get it.
I've been there. I've done it.
So in a very small way, but I've been there and I've done it. So he moves the festival without announcing the festival has been moved.
It just magically appears about 100 miles down the coast. All of a sudden, it's 100 miles down the coast.
He puts this big press event together in which no press shows up. And he doesn't either because— Well, nobody paid for it.
He has an ankle monitor. That's right.
He has an ankle monitor, so he zooms in. And there's a bunch of, like, official-looking people from Mexico, but none of them are actually Mexican officials.
They're just people that Billy has buddied up to that are talking smack because that township, Quintana Roo, says, No, no, no, no, no. Yo no sé.
Yo no sé. I don't know.
I have no idea. This takes months to get these permits, and we have no idea.
To which Billy responds, bullshit. We have the permits.
I'll show them to you. So Billy smartly, in the way only Billy could do, puts them on Instagram, expecting that no one on Instagram has ever spoken Spanish before.
Because when people start reading the permits, including myself, and I'm not that great of a Spanish speaker, but I can read pretty well, they are permits from the local venues, like a beach club. We're talking like a beach club, like Panama City beach club, like Club La Vila type place, but much smaller.
Not a festival grounds, like a tiny little club that allows them to have a 12 hour event for 250 people. Billy has already said up to 1800 people are coming.
So what are the other 1450 people going to do? What are they, 1650 people? What are they going to do? I don't know. I guess they're just not going to that particular event.
Well, right, wasn't it going to be at like different ones around the town or something? He had one permit. Like a bar crawl, but a festival crawl? Yes.
A DJ crawl? Yes, it's the most expensive night out in Mexico of your life. That's what it is.
Exactly. You might as well go to South Beach and just get drunk.
At least the DJs will be good. I mean, at least you'll know who's playing.
Billy messed this up from the beginning in so many ways that it is like laughable. It is.
And the fact that he didn't have his ducks in a row before he even made the announcement said everything you needed to know about what was going to go down you this was not this is no surprise that this was coming and when he put those permits online claiming that this festival was happening and when he put the permits on the line and people were like dude this you have a permit for recorded music to be played to 250 people for a total of 12 hours and it's a four-day festival what is going on who is playing what do you claiming what are you planning to do he says well we're gonna have lots of different entertainment you might get an mma uh get an mma tutorial from a real live mma uh you know martial artist yeah yeah you might get a skateboarding tutorial from a real live pro skateboarder dude who cares go on youtube no one cares go on youtube i'm not paying a million dollars to hobnob with the 138th with the most popular mma artist do you know what i'm saying retired mba stars i'm sure that some people want to buddy up buddy up to those people. Some people want to rub elbows with those folks.
And people did buy tickets. How do we know this? Because the reason why we know the festival is postponed is because a ticket holder put out on Instagram or social media.
I mean, somebody who literally just had money to burn. Yes, had money to burn.
Or was going to be one of the few people who had the best story ever. They were going to sell it to Netflix.
They were going to have a book. They put out the email that they received.
Now, here's what I will give credit to Billy for. And legally, I think he had no other choice.
This person received a refund. And it said, if when we announce the new dates, if you're able to attend, you'll have the first bite at getting a new ticket.

Oh, okay.

So they did actually get a refund because I thought that was part of the paperwork.

That was.

That he put out too, which had the legal jargon of no refunds, no exchanges.

No refunds.

Absolutely.

No refunds.

Rain or shine.

Even if the event doesn't happen, you're going to get no refunds.

But they did refund at least this one person that's online admitting that they actually bought a ticket to fire fest too i mean that does take balls it does take balls but i can see like i could see if we had the money to burn like if this show ever made money i could see if we had the money to burn just for the entertainment to go down the rabbit hole just to be at some wild event that's going to really blow up and i don't mean in the good way like not glow up blow up and i could see wanting to be there to kind of like document it to see what goes down watch the train wreck never you know we are no one none of us want to be in a car wreck but we all turn our heads when we see them and so that that's, I think, the reason to go down there.

And I'm going to make the assumption that this person who has come out and shared this email,

it was going to go down there for the same content creator of some sort or press or whatever.

So Billy has now failed twice, but probably many more times that we don't know about,

including this New York announcement show and all this.

Some other people have claimed that he tried to get them to buy tickets to an underwater rave. Like they were going to go down with scuba gear and they were going to have headphones on where someone was going to be spinning.
I mean, come on. Honestly, what a dum-dum.
Yeah. Billy, buddy.
The funny thing is, about all of this, to me, is that, okay, you made a mistake the first time. You got in way over your head.
And Ja Rule went for the ride. Ja Rule.
I noticed Ja Rule didn't poke his head out for Fyre Fest, too. No, he did not.
No. None of the Jenners did either.
No. Whoever was involved in the beginning.
No, smartly, right? Ja Rule has not. I don't think Ja Rule has made a public appearance since.
I don't think so either. I think smartly he has not.
He came this close to spending six years in jail. Uh-huh.
But after Ja Rule, I just can't still kick it over Ja Rule. I know.
Ja Rule. I don't know.
He was good in the 90s. Yeah, he had a thing.
He had a vibe. I don't hate on Ja Rule.
I don't see how Ja Rule managed to get himself involved in this. But then didn't Ja Rule have a restaurant? Billy's a good talker, I guess.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
He talked himself right into a big paycheck for Billy and their investors. Didn't Ja Rule have a restaurant like Jabahamas or something? Probably.
I think he did. And I think people were like online giving it one star or something.
Anyway, Ja Rule, nowhere to be found. The thing about this is, and speaking with a little bit of seriousness, you made a mistake, a big mistake, and you screwed a lot of people over and you almost killed some people.
And now granted, these people had money to burn also. Like they're not the most sympathetic characters in the world, but okay.
Some people went down there with the best of intentions. You were famous enough after this whole debacle to really clean it up.
Yes. And call some- We've said that.
Yeah. I mean, do it right.
Do it right. Like change, do right by people.
Yes. It is the year of our Lord 2025.
There are literally billionaires burning money on space dicks. Yes.
You could have gotten someone to give you a million bucks to like seed this whole thing, got called in some real professionals, not some guys who would put some club events on, but some like real professionals and put this all together, taking your time, put it all together and done this the right way where you never touched the money, but you're kind of paid up front. Yeah.
You're kind of the puppet master. Yes.
Everyone paid up front, you know, tents on the ground long ahead of time. And you're kind of the puppet master pulling the strings, learning as you go along, having some other professionals that have done this 12, 15, 300 times so that you really get an idea for what's going on.
I think part of what got Billy in trouble in the first place is he had never done anything like this, and they tried to do it themselves. Yeah, because he just was doing local stuff in New York, right? Doing stuff at clubs in New York.
Yeah, he was like a— Special event, exclusive. Yeah, he's a weekend warrior.
You know, he was like, yeah, special, exclusive. He had like an exclusive club that he would throw parties at, and that never made money either.
They was like, you had a card, you had to get in the door. Yeah.
So stupid. The card.
Yeah. So if you had taken the time, the energy and the effort to get this done correctly, and you had stayed on the straight and narrow and not tried to like be a ticket broker on the side and put all these ham hock events together.
If you had just in on this and had a day job in the meantime like where you're trying to pay people back at a day job in the meantime you probably probably could have pulled this off yeah could have could have pulled off the greatest comeback in music history music festival history and people would have applauded the whole effort you would have had a lot of haters along the, but you would have put them to bed when you did it the right way. But you really did this.
I mean, how more poorly could this have gone? Yeah, and every step of the way, too, him just saying, no, it's happening. No, it's happening.
Yes, we're doing it. I mean, I'm just thinking about the reel where Billy made this announcement where he's like walking down some New York street, like a three-year-old screaming, you know, it's happening.
My team is on the ground in Mexico. Fire Fest 2 is going to happen.
Mark my words. Yeah, mark your words.
Yeah, well, he put that on Instagram, right? He put it on Instagram. And I've noticed Billy's been absent from Instagram since the permits went online.

Because the comment section, I mean, I came there for the comments.

It was so funny.

People are like, the permit said 100 decibels up to 12 hours of only recorded music for only 250 people.

So for four years or three years since you've been out of jail, you've been working on this.

And that's what you came up with?

Thank you. music for only 250 people.
So for four years or three years since you've been out of jail, you've been working on this, and that's what you came up with? 250 people? Renting a club out. Yes.
In Mexico. I could rent Chuck E.
Cheese quicker than that for 300 people. And I got a live band playing.
It's Chuck E. and his little band.
I mean, honestly, terrible. You could have done an event at Chuck E.
Cheese, and people would have been excited about it. You would have said Fyre Fest, too.
You could have done this tongue-in-cheek. There's so many different ways you could have done this and probably just healed yourself and your reputation along the way, but you chose to pretend like you knew what you were talking about the second time, and you failed.
This part of me feels a little a little tiny little bit empathetic toward Billy because I think he's just a big lug nut. I think he's just a big dum-dum who's hoping that something works out in life.
And I have been there. I'm that guy.
I'm a big lug nut who hopes this all works out. I'm just like plodding through life, hoping the commercial break, you know, becomes Conan O'Brien overnight.
It's not going to happen, but I hope it does. But here's the difference between me and Billy.
I don't make Instagram announcements about how I'm going to be Conan O'Brien, you know, how I'm going to be on the Conan O'Brien show tomorrow. So.
Yeah. He's just bad.
He is. He's bad.
It's bad. It's all bad.
But now it's over and we all get to go back to our normal lives. Exactly.
But I do have to say, and I didn't want to cut in and cut you off earlier because I know how we tend to go schizophrenic. We do.
With our talking. Go ahead.
It made me think about, you said Ja Rule had a restaurant. It made me think.
I don't know why this popped to my head all of a sudden, but I was thinking about musicians who have restaurants. And do you remember Mix? Mix? Mick Jaggers.
No. Mix here in Atlanta? Oh, my God.
It was like at Lenox Mall. And it had quite a few different locations around here in Atlanta.
I don't remember this. It was like the fun place to go.
Oh, okay. And the only place that I remember, was it Lenox Mall or Phipps? Yeah, I think so.
The only place that I, the only notable restaurant that I remember from that part of town or that I like made an impression on me was that the tavern at Phipps Plaza. Oh, yeah.
Where the girls were dressed like really nice Hooters girls. Are they still dressing like Hooters girls? I'm sure.
I'm sure they are. Yeah.
I don't remember mix, but we'll do a little research and we'll maybe we'll dredge up some stories. I don't.
I't. I don't know why.
It was like a good spot to go at quite a few locations. And it was here in Atlanta? It was here in Atlanta, and I think across the country.
Oh, really? Yeah. Oh.
You know, I once got told by a – when I was working at one of the restaurants, I can't remember. I think it might have been Listerade.
And I was talking like I was going to open my own restaurant because, you know, I was probably high on something, making all these plans that never came to fruition. But I was talking with someone else, like a financial advisor, a guy who was rich, something like that.
And he said, anybody who walks into my restaurant, oh, he was a guy who like dealt with sports players' money. He was a financial advisor for sports players and he would hang out at the bar at the end sometime sometime and so i'm sure it was at the end of the night and i'm fucking jizzy jazzed on something and he we were talking about opening a restaurant he said if someone comes in if one of these guys comes in and starts talking about opening a restaurant i said you might as well take that money and throw it in the fireplace if you want a place to go drink and have fun then and you're willing to pay a million dollars to do that.
Cool. You'll have two years.
It'll be great. And then you're going to close the place.
Otherwise for fucking get about it because restaurant business is the hardest business to return on investment. And it really is.
And so to even make a profit. Yeah.
And Chipper Jones have a restaurant for a while there. Yeah.
Everybody's My helmet buddy. Well, and it reminded me too, you remember that spot close to where we used to work at the radio station? It was right there on Peach Street.
I feel like, I want to say like Frank Ski from- Oh, Frank Ski's. Yeah.
From V103 had a place there. But I think it was Sean Combs.
It was. It was Diddy's.
Yeah, it was Diddy's. It was like- Holy shit.
It was Diddy's. I forgot he had the restaurant.
It was Diddy's. It was Frankski's.
It was Combs or something. Combs.
It was Whitney Houston had something to do with it at one point. That's why they call it the Whitney Houston's, the Houston's down there, because she had something to do with the restaurant, and then Bobby Brown was involved.
Every famous person from Atlanta at some point had something to do with this restaurant space and it never worked. Yes, it was this one spot prime location.
But you couldn't park. Yes, there was no parking.
There was no parking. That's the problem.
Yeah. And I think there was a couple shootings down there too.
That might add something to do with it. But, you know, hey, listen, it was prime location.
There was no doubt about it. That is a tough, tough fucking business.
And so, you know, what can you do? Listen, I love the restaurant business. But after having worked in every position in the entire restaurant up to and including, you know, being like a managing partner, the reality is it's a very difficult, stressful business.
I am like headlong into Top Chef rewatch right now. I'm watching seasons I didn't watch and I used to love that show.
And every time I watch those people just like sweating their balls off to try and impress Tom Colicchio, I'm like, I like Tom Colicchio, but you couldn't pay me enough money to go back and do that. You couldn't.
Now, if I was in an emergency situation, I would run and wait tables or bartend for a couple bucks, which I thought about doing at one point during this commercial break run. Just FYI.
Yes, me too. Yeah.
There's a cute little spot down the street I thought about working at. Stay tuned.
Still might happen. Yeah, exactly.
12 hours of TCB is now turning into like the 14 hours of TCB. And I haven't even told Chrissy about it.
So let me explain to her and then we'll be back with more fun and shenanigans right after I load the commercial. We'll be back.
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See RemixYogurt.com. Yeah, we were just talking about all these restaurants here in Atlanta.
I think we found Mix. Not 100% sure it was associated with Mick Jagger, but I could see why you might think that.
I could see why you might think that. But I do remember it now that I've seen a picture of the old overhead, the old awning that used to sit there.
And that was really close to where we worked. And then Mr.
Diddy's. Mr.
Diddy's. Mr.
Diddy, if you don't mind. Hoo-ha, hoo-na.
Creepy Diddy on the block. Yeah.
To think there are probably freak-offs that happened here in Atlanta. He owned a house here for a long time.
Yeah. Yeah, he owned a big house here for a long time.
Justin Bieber also stayed here for a period of time. Well, he had a house here.
He had a house. He actually was renting that house from another famous person.
Can't remember. It might have been Ja Rule.
I don't know. It might have been.
I'm not sure. It all goes back to Ja Rule.
Yes. But I was at the time in the real estate business and I was building a house that was closer to where Justin Bieber was staying.
And this is the craziest story that I want to tell you. Search your mind and see if you remember like a restaurant related celebrity story.
I'm going to tell one. Okay.
So I would drive by this particular house. It's shaped like a spaceship.
That's the only way to describe it. And if you live in Atlanta, you know, the spaceship house in it, in Sandy Springs, you'll know it.
It's on a corner. It's back in the woods.
It's up off a very, you know, poncy part of town. And it literally looks like a spaceship landed, but it's beautiful.
It's got glass windows. It's got this big gate all the way around it.
Nice piece of land on a corner of this quiet street. And I would drive by this house all the time to go to this place that we were, this house that we were building.
And then I started to notice that like occasionally there'd be like a private security guard in the driveway of this house. And then a couple of days later, I noticed that there was like a police officer and a security guard.
And I thought to myself, wow, that's strange. Never seen that before.
I never knew who owned the house, but it had to have been someone rich. But I was thinking to myself, well, maybe there's some trouble and that's why they're keeping the security guards at that.
Or maybe because Atlanta is a hub for all things television and film, someone is renting the house and they've asked for some additional security. A couple days later, a week later, whatever it is, I am driving up that street and there are five or six women who have poster boards on sticks out.
And it's like, paparazzi, go away. Paparazzi, go home.
Justin, go home. Whatever it says.
And I'm reading this and I'm like, what in the good fuck? Why are they picketing in the middle of this quiet suburban street in a very rich part of town? Could not imagine why this was happening until I read that Justin was renting a house in Atlanta, and this was likely the house that he was renting. And eventually, it was a scene.
There was a lot of people standing out in front of the house. There were people parked up and down the side of the street.
Yeah, it became a big clusterfuck, and the neighbors were pissed because these these other neighbors they're very rich and probably some of them famous and they're not interested in having anybody film or uh photog around where they are and so justin i think eventually kind of got ran out of town or ran out of this house at least because of all the press that he was driving to this very quiet neighborhood and i always thought to me to be a little bit unfair it's's like, you're rich and you got a gate. And like, leave poor Justin alone.
First of all, paparazzi, leave poor Justin alone. At that time, leave poor Justin alone.
Now I don't know what's going on with Justin. He's all over the place.
Yeah, he's kind of all over the place. Yeah, I think that whole Diddy situation blowing up so publicly and him being so associated with P.
Diddy. I mean, P.
Diddy basically made him, made his career along with a couple other famous R&B and hip hop stars. I think something went down there.
And also I think he's got child star PTSD. Yeah.
Which happens. He never grew up.
He never had an opportunity to grow up. And now he's got that Hayiley Bieber, and she is gorgeous and well put together, and I think she's desperately trying to keep his head directly on his shoulders.
Meanwhile, he's in a fur coat and underwear, running around screaming at paparazzi, and you can hardly blame the guy because he really hasn't had a normal life. Yeah.
And I think at some point you just cry out for some normalcy, some stability, some privacy, and none of that is afforded to him. And that's the deal with the devil that you make when you get that famous.
It really is. It sure is.
And, you know, who knows what happened with that ditty. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah.
There was a lot of years, a lot of opportunities, a lot opportunities a lot of parties a lot of parties a lot of creepy weird interviews and videos that came out afterwards that now take on a whole different context i'm not one to jump to a bunch of conclusions but some of those interactions between p diddy and justin that are on video are very strange they're very like we're gonna have a sleepover i now for 48 hours. Your mom, your mom let me keep you for 48 hours.
I'm now your daddy. Yikes.
Just weird shit. Like, how did we not know? How did, I mean, how did we not know? I mean, lots of people knew, but how did we not know? How did we not go? Isn't it weird that Pete Diddy wants a 12 year old boy to hang out at his house for 48 hours? Yeah, he had such an image, though, of just, I mean, being somebody that people wanted to be associated with and make fun music.

And kind of a threatening image, too.

So I think people were, I think it was difficult for people to come out and say something because they were afraid.

Well, that's for sure.

Yeah. But anyway, that's for sure.
Yeah.

But anyway, that was the time Justin Bieber lived near my house I was building.

I remember a night.

Do you remember when I was living out on the porch?

And there were many nights.

I didn't know you did your porch years.

No, I'm saying, do you remember that I did?

The porch years.

The porch month. The porch month.
I couldn't even hack it. The porch weeks.
Yeah, the porch days. The porch night.
Oh, it was more than a night. Oh, it was probably a couple months.
Yeah. We had two roommates who actually lived in rooms in the apartment.
They actually had the rooms in the apartment. And me and my friend Eduardo would be out on the, we were out on a back screened in porch.
I've told many stories about this, but we lived literally on a. Sometimes you'd be let in.
Yes. And that's when you guys would stay up all night.
Yes. Well, if the door, if they hadn't locked the door on us, that meant we were allowed to be in.
And we would be up all night high on Colombian marching powder at Bud Light

or whatever we could get our hands on. Whiteboarding things.

There was a huge whiteboard in this dining room and Eduardo and I would write music lyrics and

play guitar till 7 a.m. And then we'd go somewhere else.
Like the river. Yeah, why not? Let's go do

our drugs down at the river now that the sun is up and we feel miserable, let's go do that.

And it was one night when we were doing our thing.

Both of our roommates were out working.

One worked at a really nice restaurant.

At the time, we all thought it was kind of a nice restaurant.

Papa Doe.

Oh, yeah, Papa Doe.

Famous Texas restaurant. It's still around.
It is still around. So is Papa Citos.
It's actually delicious. Yeah.
Papa Dough, Papa Citos, you know, great food consistent. If you live in Texas or Atlanta or anywhere where there's a Papa Dough or Papa Citos, then you know, it's a chain of restaurants, these huge restaurants.
They're huge. They just like food factories, but they have really good food and high standards.
And that's why people keep on coming time and time again. And so one of them was a manager at Papa Do's and one of them had been fired from his management position at Papa Do's because he was a straight up alcoholic.
And this is like no joke, alcoholic. I need alcohol all the time.
And he had like five DUIs, like five. And one night he got caught drinking while he was driving drinking while he was driving and the officer drove him home like he gave him a break drove him home but this this is long before these laws where you know your license gets taken away forever because you had your third dui or fourth dui or whatever it is so he was a bad alcoholic and he ended up getting a job as a general manager of a very large sports bar here north of the city.
I'm not going to name the bar because it's still around. But David and I are juiced to the hilt one night, and I mean soaked in Bud Light and cocaine.
I'm just going to be real frank about it. And the phone rings.

Which both of us had jumped directly out of our chairs.

It's the police!

Get down!

Because when that house phone rang, it

rang loudly. Do you know what I'm saying? It broke

the air. It broke the tension.
It made

it more tense. And who's

calling at 2 o'clock in the morning?

It can only be one of the roommates. So eduardo picks up the phone yeah he says i can hear him talking but i'm not really listening i'm more thinking to myself do we have any more cocaine or should i play another chord i think i have a lyric in my head let's write it on the whiteboard and he hangs up the phone and he says get dressed and i'm like i am dressed and he's like okay we're gonna go and i'm like where are we going we can't go anywhere we're fucked we're fucked we're so sauced right now where do you want to go and we have to go to this bar and i go it's close it's 2 30 in the morning it's closed what do we do it's too what are we gonna go to that bar right he's closing it down do you know who's at the end of the bar no greg allman and i'm like greg allman is at the end of the bar he's been there for most of the night he uh this guy another noted alcoholic but also another noted alcoholic and drug addict and let's call this guy the great guy yeah let's call mike uh the roommate's name mike mike is closed down the bar and they're still sitting there drinking and he called me and he said if you want to come and meet greg allman come on down and we did we took this like half hour long journey driving 10 miles per hour all the way to this back roads every back road we could find you know turn down this suburban street turn down that suburban street because the police won't be there and we have less chance of getting caught we drove all the way to this suburban bar to get there as greg allman and his security his bodyguard are wrapping things up now greg allman had like on and off sobriety for many years.
His autobiography is really good, by the way. He had struggles.
I think this is an off time. Now, I never saw Greg directly drinking because he was leaving when he left.
But when he left, he actually had two guys with him. So one looked like a body man, like a guy who was there, either to try and keep him sober and out of trouble or whatever and the other guy looked like maybe the guy was off duty but he was drinking and so we said hello he was very nice we i fawned over him for a minute he did the kind of the famous thing thank you very much thank you very much you know good to meet you blah blah blah and out the door and into a limousine off they drove.
And we sat with the second guy who had been with Greg for a number of years and told some wild fucking stories about Greg Allman. And I'll share one.
This is all hearsay. I don't know that this actually happened.
I heard this from a guy who claims he was there when this happened. that Greg Almond was one night missing in Atlanta, down in Atlanta, and somehow had escaped the body man who was supposed to keep him out of trouble.
The Wrangler. Yes, the Wrangler.
And they found him on a street getting head smoking crack. Oh my God.
in like in the middle of downtown atlanta like in an alley like somewhere in you know the the centennial olympic park area before centennial olympic park like back in the you know early 90s or whatever it was in the really seedy part of town they you know fanned out and found him completely shit hammered, getting satisfied with a crack pipe in his hand. Wow.
And had to literally carry him and put him in a car and carry him back up to the hotel room where he eventually settled down. And they had locked the door and stand outside all night long.
And he told us, now never forget forget this he told us that that was their job was to essentially stand by him now to be clear about greg allman he eventually was very sober to the to the to the point mistake correct me if i'm wrong because chrissy's been around them backstage they don't even allow alcohol backstage like you can't even be drinking a beer like if you get a backstage pass you can't even bring a beer around you now greg has passed but the later years of his life he was took his sobriety very seriously but he had to i mean god he was dying he was dying and if i don't if i'm not mistaken he did get arrested a couple of times with cocaine and crack and stuff like that yeah his autobiography he tells it all yeah i mean it's just like this wild-ass story. You didn't mention that story, but I can see it happening.
Listen. Yeah.
Again, it's all hearsay. And so don't take any of this as fact.
When I was living in Nashville, Keith Urban, and it was a big story because he had married Nicole Kidman and, you know, living in Nashville, she was off somewhere doing a movie or whatever. It was like 4 a.m.
and he's driving down the street and he sees this guy running down the street, pulls over and asks him for crack. And the guy was just running because he was like a trainer and he was up early and running.
Keith Urban asked him for crack? Yes, and Nicole Kidman swooped in. I mean, it was a whole huge hole of blue in Nashville because this happened and then he got arrested or something.
He was bad on crack. And Nicole Kidman swooped in.
He went off to rehab and yeah, it was a big deal. Yeah, that crack.
That'll get you. Crack will get you.
I can see shit goes down on crack. Shit goes down on crack.
Yeah, i could see not really caring that you're getting head in the middle of a street i don't even see how you get head in the middle of a street while you're high on cocaine but oh whatever that's neither here nor there i mean you know keith urban's sober now i would think oh yeah he's gotta be yeah he's yeah he's too old for all that yeah i mean this was like 2005 you know the funny thing is is you're 20 years ago 20 years ago that's crazy yeah i really had no idea that keith urban was a crackhead is this like no is this like public information back in the day he go to rehab and stuff like yeah he went to rehab okay i remember that you're a friend of ours a mutual friend of ours you're gonna know who know who I'm talking about. Worked on movie sets and television sets.
Told me about a girl who was on one of the most famous television shows at the time going on, network television show. And I'm not going to say the name because I don't want our friend to, you know, whatever.
And she explained to me while the show was still on air that this person was a terrible alcoholic. Yes.
I know who you're talking about. Yes.
To the point where they had to sometimes delay shooting. Yes.
Or they had to sober her up enough to get her lines out. Or they had to change complete scenes so she was not in them.
Or so that she didn't have to talk in them because she was a mumble fuck like so badly alcoholic that she couldn't go you know an hour without having some kind of drink and that it was well known all around town that this was going on and she was making a mess of herself all over the place and i thought the story was interesting when it was told to me but there was no public information that would indicate that that was the truth. I believe people keep it under wraps.
Like hundreds of people on this television set, and you didn't hear anything about it until one time you did. There was a video that came out, and a video showed her publicly drunk out on the streets of Nashville, out on the streets of Nashville, drunk and boob hanging out and all this other stuff, and everybody chalked it up to, oh, she's having a good time.
You know, she's having a good time. Yeah, because that's commonplace in Nashville.
Yeah, of course. That's like Nashville 101.
Yeah, get drunk and throw your boob out. Yeah.
Hey, why not? But now years later, like five years ago, this actress comes out and says publicly, I really had a problem with alcohol.

And especially during the time that I was filming this television show, I've now been to rehab and I'm sober and thank God for it. So it was funny how it all came full circle.
Drugs and alcohol, no joke. And drugs and alcohol in moderation, in experimentation, in the pursuit of pleasure momentarily and understanding that there's always a price to pay even for experimentation and moderation, I don't have any problem with.
But obviously, there are people who have real challenges with substances, and it's no joke.

And as someone who could have just as easily gone down that Greg Allman route, now thank God I've never gotten a blowjob in an alley with a crack pipe in my hand, but it could have happened to me. It could have happened to me.
Well, you could have the money. If I had more money, that's right.
If I had had more money, then it would have happened to me. And the people procuring these things for you yes that's that's exactly right like the time that the guy from bare naked ladies the bodyguard from bare naked ladies told me how he would go to the bad side of washington dc and get briefcases full of cocaine for whitney houston and bobby brent And I never believed, I always thought he was just bloviating to try and impress the girl that was with us.
I was like, oh, he's just full of shit. Until it all came smashing out.
And I was like, yeah, no shit. That guy was getting briefcases full of cocaine for Whitney Houston.
And Whitney Houston, another one who suffered greatly because of drugs and alcohol. Time, money, an addict's worst enemy.
And when you got both of those, added a little fame and some paparazzi. It's a time as a tale as old as time.
Tale as old as time, strange as it can be. Yeah, I mean, you hear too, even going back into like the original movie days.
Yeah. I mean, Judy Garland, bad, you know, too, even going back into, like, the original movie days.

Yeah.

I mean, Judy Garland.

Bad, you know, she had bad addictions.

A lot of those early movie stars had bad addictions to pills.

Betty Boop.

Pills and alcohol.

Yes.

Most of them.

That's how they got through.

And back then, people would keep your secrets for you.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, I think even JFK was, like, he was on back pills and all kinds of amphetamines and all kinds of stuff. Elvis, I mean, listen, Elvis is like the, he's like the grand, you know, poobah of stories about drugs and alcohol.
The guy was literally a narcotic machine. Yeah, uppers, downers.
Uppers, downers, more uppers, more downers, throw in some booze. Shots.
Yeah, smack his butt and get out there and play another show in your Velvet Elvis outfit and let's hope everything works out okay. It's the way it is.
Banana and peanut butter sandwiches. Thank God we didn't have the money, Brian.
Well, thank God we don't have the money. That's why we work for free here at the commercial break.

Because we know if we get just a little tasty teener,

it's going to be the best show

in the world for about two weeks

and then you're going to see us

on the front pages of People Magazine.

Famous podcaster.

RP, our company.

Yeah.

Famous podcaster

gets dick bitten off by raccoons

trying to secure blowjob

while high on crack cocaine. Possum.
Possum. Even better.
Possum. Possum.
Terrible. Possum penis related accident.
That would be so apropos. All right.
Let's take a break. More fun to come here on the commercial break.
Aren't you glad you tuned in? Alright, we'll be back.

You make this rather snappy, won't you? I have some really heavy thinking to do before 10 o'clock.

Hi cats and kittens, Rachel here.

Do you ever get the urge to speak

endlessly into the void, like Brian?

Well, I've got just the place for you

to do that. 212-433-3TCB.

That's 212-433-3822.

Feel free to call

and yell all you want. Tell Brian

I need a race. Compliment

Thank you. 433-3TCB.
That's 212-433-3822. Feel free to call and yell all you want.
Tell Brian, I need a race. Compliment Chrissy's innate ability to put up with all his shenanigans.
Or tell us a little story. The juicier, the better, by the way.
We'd love to hear your voice. Because Lord knows we're done listening to ourselves.
Also, give us a follow on your favorite socials. At the Commercial Break on Insta, TCB Podcast on TikTok.
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now. I've got a date with my dog.
No, seriously, Axel needs food. Today is Pork Chop Day.
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Speaking of people who have passed away, Chrissy, they're...

What a way to start.

Thank you.

I know how to do a segue.

I'm good at that.

Okay. Speaking of.
Speaking of how to do a segue. I'm good at that.
Okay.

Speaking of.

Speaking of people who have passed away, you know, do you believe in heaven?

I mean, yes.

A version of it?

Some kind of version.

Yeah, me too.

I believe in like a white cloud.

No, I don't know.

The gate, pearly gate, but yeah.

Because if it's the white clouds and pearly gate, there's an opposite version of that.

And I don't want to think about that.

I think we're pretty close to that right now 2025 that's right uh yeah i don't think you can take a space dick up to heaven but um you know a lot of people do believe in heaven and they do believe in that version of heaven the pearly gates that let you in what you do you know you're judged at the end that's a that's a there's a lot of people in this country especially who kind of... Afterlife.
Yeah, the afterlife where you are, there's maybe not a physical form, but for some reason, you can see other people, a Teresa Caputo kind of thing, right? And it's an opportunity, really, to make money. And one enterprising church in Mexico, Mexico, is making lots of money on heaven.
Now, you might ask, how does one do that? Well, they sell plots of land in heaven for $100 a pop. One square meter of heaven costs $100.
And they have been making lots of money selling land in heaven. Now, this sounds about as interesting as buying real estate in the metaverse.
Remember when Snoop Dogg bought like a million dollar property in the metaverse? That's right. We don't hear much about that anymore.
No, the metaverse. Listen, I don't want to put my foot in my mouth, but I think NFTs in the metaverse, I don't think it worked out how anybody would expect it.
No. I mean, Facebook changed their name to meta.
To meta. Yes.
And they were so sure. And how many people are in the metaverse right now? I'm sure there's lots, actually.
I'm sure there's lots of people. But remember, they were having like concerts and raves and all this other stuff.
You tried to go. I did.
I tried to go and they would not let me in. They got scared of me, honestly.
I'm like, hey, where's the party? They're like, take that boat over there. But there was no boat.
I just went into the water and I couldn't get out. I drowned in the metaverse.
They literally killed me. I'm like, hey, bro.
He was like, get away from me. Literally.
You know, you can like type, you know, you type or you talk, right? And I typed, hey, brother. And he was like, I don't want to talk to you.
Get away from me. Mommy told me not to talk to people like you.
Okay. All right.
I get the picture. I was not quite cool enough to be accepted into the metaverse, but I don't feel so bad about it now because I think it was kind of a, I'm sure that it will take off in some form or fashion eventually when this version of reality gets miserable enough.
And we're getting pretty close. So, you know, once democracy is totally gone, I'm sure the metaverse is going to be fine.
Here's the story. Byline Medium, the online magazine Medium, not the people who talk to people in heaven.
I have a confession to make. After I walked away from the church, I struggled for a long time with the nagging feeling that God wouldn't welcome me into heaven.
After all, I left the church feeling like I had abandoned a part of my life and my faith, as if I was turning my back on something sacred. But it turns out I needn't have worry.
There's a church in Mexico selling land in heaven for only $100 per square meter, which to me seems like quite a bargain. Who knew that getting into heaven would be as easy as forking out a few $50 bills? Let me tell you about it.
The real estate deal of the century, a Mexican church called the Iglesia del Finel dos los tiempos, or the church of the end of times, is offering people the chance to secure their place in heaven by selling a plot of land for $100 per square meter. Don't have $100? Don't despair.
There are payment plans available. I was going to say layaway.
All right. I'm not going to read the whole article.
Go check it out on Medium. But that is one enterprising young church people.
Listen. Why not? Again, like NFTs, this is going to go to the way of the dodo bird.
But I'm sure there are lots of people who are buying plots in heaven. Because for $100, you say, well, if it works out, great.
I secured my space. If it doesn't work out, what did I lose? $100? Who cares? Right? It's just like those people who bought the NFTs.
Well, I got a pixelated dick. If it works out, I'll be a millionaire.
If it doesn't, I have a pixelated dick. I don't know.
Whatever happened to all that? I mean, what was the monkey thing that was like so? Board Ape. Yes,ored Ape.
And now they're just trying to figure out a way. And like anything that has to do with market manipulation, there are probably a lot of algorithms that are just juicing, buying and selling them quickly or buying them here and selling them there, whatever it is.
It's just like all this altcoin bullshit. The altcoins, 99% of them, they're meme coins, and they have absolutely no value.
They never will. They're Hakctua coins.
They're Trump coins. They're Melania coins.
They're, you know, wrestling coins or whatever. If you have the money and it's a cool thing for you to have, cool.
But a lot of people lose their life savings trying to trade these things and beat the algorithms or the people who are on the inside trading them at the highest value because they are pumping and dumping those coins. Never works out.
Bitcoin, Ripple, Ether, all that stuff may have some value down the line. Who knows? It's hard to say, right? And we're not here to give financial advice.
We're the last people you want to take a financial advice. But the NFT seemed like a ham hock idea to me from the beginning.
Now, as digital rights management tool, it's not good on that road. highbrow concept than what an nft is which essentially is a jpeg that you do you remember charlie bit my finger the charlie bit my finger video sold for like a million and a half dollars the rights to the charlie bit my finger as an nft do you think the people who bought the charlie bit my finger are make have made a million and a half dollars back on people watching that video on youtube or any other place the answer is most likely no will they over time who knows it's a very very famous video but you know there's other things like totally random pieces of art i told you i knew this person who literally pixelated some dicks like drew some dicks on an old Atari system.

Just think about it like that.

Pixelated dicks.

Yeah.

Made 300 of them and put them out in the universe, expecting, I think, that this would be the

next big thing in NFTs.

And last time I checked, which was like years ago, because I was maybe not friendly, but

I knew this person at the time.

Last time I checked, they were trading in like an average value of like 15 cents.

I mean, and only a third of them.

Thank you. Because I was maybe not friendly, but I knew this person at the time.
Last time I checked, they were trading at like an average value of like 15 cents. I mean, and only a third of them bought.
Because the market was flooded by... By pixelated dicks.
That's right. Everybody had the same idea.
Yeah. And what can you do with that pixelated dick? Show it to your friends? Look what I bought? Well, I can go on the same trading platform and take a picture of that pixelated dick and show it to my friends too there's absolutely no value now some of those nfts have these you know they're built-in perks right like the board ape you can get it to board a parties and they they have a conference every year whatever it is but honestly stolen then there was like a thing that were about being stolen being stolen? Yeah, like Seth Green or something had a Bored Ape was stolen, and then someone bought it legitimately from two people who had stole it, and then they sold it back to Seth Green for like a million dollars or something.
I mean, honestly, honestly, for a Bored Ape, I get it. You want to be part of the Cool Kids Club.
You want to go to the conference. You want to get in on the action.
I don't understand the allure of the NFTs unless I really wanted to go to that party and be a part of that club. But I have noticed as a guy who kind of pays attention to this, that the hype around these things has really gone away.
I mean, I don't see too many people hyping NFTs anymore. All those Twitter spaces and clubhouses and all this other stuff about NFT, they really don't exist except for in a very small circle on the internet now.
If you have an NFT and you find some value in it, I'd love to hear from you. Text us.
Yeah, we really would. Yeah, because maybe I am completely wrong about this.
And I'm open to being wrong because I am most of the time. We could be completely out of touch.
I am. I am completely out of touch.
Even though I'm trolling the internet constantly, I'm generally out of touch with what's going on. So maybe there's a burgeoning NFT scene that is just like super hot and I don't know about it because I haven't been invited, just like the metaverse.
I've been kicked out of the NFT scene. Maybe they said, don't show Brian any more NFT content because he talks shit.
I don't know. But if you are into NFTs and that's your thing, let me know.
And I'd love to hear why you're into NFTs and what you think the value is so that I can better understand from someone who actually got in on it why this was. And I'm sure that there are people who made millions of dollars on those NFTs.
Yeah. So there were, there were lots of people who made millions of dollars on NFTs.
Those are the people who got out right before the crash. And the crash happened like three or four years ago.
And I just haven't seen, I haven't seen much about it since there were like every article had the word NFT in it. It was everywhere.
Everywhere. And I haven't seen an article about nfts in two years i just haven't seen it um but the selling heaven is an nft that's essentially what it is there's almost no value in it except for your own perceived value and the fact that you get to get into an exclusive party maybe eventually down the line firefest the next firefest three oh poor Billy McFarlane.
It does tug at the heartstring just for a second, and then I realized, hey, he's a shithead anyway. Yeah, so $100 for a piece of heaven.
Would I buy it? Probably not. But it's like, you know, as a grand romantic gesture, I one time bought Astrarid a star.
Yes, you did. And that's sweet.
It was sweet. But they gave us this whole package and this poster showing you where you could see them, where you could find it, and if you got a telescope, maybe you could see it.
You know what I'm saying? It's right there. Yeah, right there.
So it's up in that general direction. So when I talked to talked to astrid about it we got all this material and we were moving from house to house and i'm like oh here's our star stuff and she's like yeah yeah and i was like wait you don't want to keep the star stuff and she's like listen it's a really nice idea but i don't think we need to junk up our house with i'm like junk junk up our house? We own a star.
And she was like, yeah, but do we? But do we? Do we own a star? Do we own a star and do we need a star? And what can we do with a star? I don't know. Excuse me, Brian.
Hi, Brian. Yeah, and I realized at that moment, my grand romantic gesture was like buying an NFT.

It was just as dumb.

Just as dumb.

Why don't I just point to it and say, that's your star, babe. Yeah.

Between you and me, that's your star.

That's our star.

That's our star.

That's the sun.

Okay.

Well, it's Brian and Astrid's sun.

How's that?

Yes.

When it's shining on us, right in this moment, it's shining on us, kid.

It's shining on us.

All right.

Everyone settle down.

Everyone settle down.

I thought it was good.

I thought it was a good one.

It is good.

When you're in love, you do lots of stupid shit.

Yeah.

You buy shit.

It's like the encased rose. Didn't you do that too? I did.
I did the forever rose, which didn't last forever. It just magically disappeared one day.
And I was like, where did it go? I don't know. I don't know.
Okay. Oh my God.
I did the forever rose. I did the dozen, whatever.
I did the gold rose. I did, I did a lot of like grand romantic gestures, but the grandest of them all was getting married and giving her a bunch of children to irritate the shit out of her.

You can't throw those away.

Take that.

How's that for a romantic gesture?

These swimmers are strong, baby.

Okay.

All right. May 31st.
12 hours or 13 or 14. Who knows? There's going to be a lot of hours of TCB on May 31st.
Celebrating five years of the commercial break, we are doing 12 episodes at least in one day just for you. So tune in.
And so many people have texted in and said, can't wait to see if you guys survive. If you're able to do it.
Yeah. If you're able to do it, we'll do it.
We'll get it done. I believe in us.
We'll be tired. Box is a five hour energy that says we are going to do this.
Yeah, that's right. We will be tired and it will not be easy, but it's better than digging ditches for a living.
So lots of people work 12 hours and they don't complain about it. I'm bringing wine.
Okay, but you got to wait till like the ninth hour. Okay.
I can't have you passing out hour number three. So anyway, May 31st, mark your calendars.
212-433-3TCB, 212-433-3822. Text us or leave us a message, questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas at the Commercial Break on Instagram.
TCB Podcast on TikTok. YouTube.com slash The Commercial Break.
And TCB Podcast.com for all the audio, video, and your free TCB swag at the Contact Us button. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for now.
I think so. I'll tell you that I love you.
I love you. Best to you.
Best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe.
Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say, and we must say, goodbye. Sixteen years from today, Greg Gerstner will finally land the perfect cannonball.
Epic Splash. Unsuspecting Friends.
A work of art. Only possible because Greg is already meeting all these same people at AARP volunteer and community events that keep him active and involved and help make sure his happiness lives as long as he does.
That's why the younger you are, the more you need AARP. Learn more at AARP.org slash local.
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