We Didn't Start The Fyre!

Speaker 1 This episode is sponsored by 5-Hour Energy. Caffeine just got a flavor upgrade with what they call tasty caffeine, 17 bold flavors that actually taste good.

Speaker 1 You know that midday moment when your brain just stalls out, but you still have a full list of things to do? Well, that's when I reach for a 5-Hour Energy shot.

Speaker 1 Each tiny two-ounce shot has about as much caffeine as a 12-ounce premium cup of coffee, but with zero sugar and zero crash.

Speaker 1 It's big flavor, packed into the smallest, easiest bottle, perfect for tossing in your bag, in your car, really anywhere.

Speaker 1 And since it's still fall, they've brought back the ultimate seasonal favorite, pumpkin spice. Ah, yes, pumpkin spice.

Speaker 1 A little cinnamon, a little swagger, sweet, rich, and totally cozy without being heavy.

Speaker 1 Fuel your day with tasty caffeine, available in store and online at 5hourenergy.com or get it delivered by Amazon. Give yourself a caffeine flavor upgrade with 5-Hour Energy Shots.

Speaker 1 Get yours in store and online, 5Hnergy.com or on Amazon today.

Speaker 2 This episode is sponsored by Jack Archer.

Speaker 1 Do you hate shopping for pants? You're not alone. Jack Archer's Jet Setter tech pants are basically the answer to every guy's closet struggles.

Speaker 1 With their customizable fit, wrinkle-free fabric sourced from Japan, and all-day comfort, these pants can take you from work to the weekend without missing a beat.

Speaker 1 Seriously, these might be the only pants you'll ever need. Style them with the Jet Setter T, legacy button-down shirt, or the buttery legacy polo sweater.

Speaker 1 And you've got timeless staples to meet your everyday wardrobe needs. JackArcher is just better for a limited time.
Get 15% off using the code getjack at jackarcher.com.

Speaker 1 Again, that's promo code getjack at jackarcher.com for 15% off your entire order. And thanks to JackArcher for being a sponsor of the commercial break.

Speaker 3 And welcome back to WSHIT. We're on Crab Apple's local news like Elmer was on horses and glues.

Speaker 3 Newly elected Mayor Samuel Slaubush continues his remaking of Crab Apple by slashing township positions, ignoring the township judges, and installing his own family, friends, and donors into high-ranking roles in city government.

Speaker 3 Today, Mayor Slaubush announced his pick for president of Crab Apple's women's club, Tom Beetleberry. Mr.
Beetleberry, of course, is the owner of Tom's Barber and Bourbon Bar on the west side of town.

Speaker 3 His pick, however, does not come without controversy. Many found Mr.
Beetleberry's pick to be a surprise.

Speaker 3 Some in the community have pointed out that after 100 years of the Crab Apple Women's Club, Mr. Beetleberry will be the first president of that club.
That is, not a woman. After the swearing-in of Mr.

Speaker 3 Beetleberry, he gave remarks to the women's club. He had this to say when asked what advice he had for the women of Crab Apple.

Speaker 4 All you girls should do OnlyFans, all the men want to see you up in the strip club getting naked. Even topless, even down at the bottom.
Honestly, they do. That's the truth.

Speaker 4 I ain't gonna lie, they want to see you naked.

Speaker 3 Mr. Beetleberry was later escorted out of the building by local authorities after repeatedly calling his ex-wife on speakerphone and yelling,

Speaker 3 Are you happy you married my brother now? End quote. WSHIT will stay on top of this one.
We'll be back after commercial break.

Speaker 2 On this episode of the Commercial Break.

Speaker 2 You could have done this tongue-in-cheek.

Speaker 2 There's so many different ways you could have done this and probably just like healed yourself and your reputation along the way, but you chose to pretend like you knew what you were talking about the second time and you failed.

Speaker 2 This part of me feels a little, tiny, little bit empathetic toward Billy because I think he's just a big lug nut. I think he's just a big dum-dum who's hoping that something works out in life.

Speaker 2 And I have been there. I'm that guy.
I'm a big lug nut who hopes this all works out.

Speaker 2 That's kind of, I'm just like plodding through life, hoping the commercial break, you know, becomes Conan O'Brien overnight. It's not going to happen, but I hope it does.

Speaker 2 The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break.
I'm Brian Greene. This is the dear friend of mine and the co-host of this show, Chris.
The charge of the best to you, Chrissy.

Speaker 2 Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe.
I lost my mind there for a second. I don't know where it went.
Wee! So that's when she's the co-host. Yeah.

Speaker 2 My mouter's not working correctly.

Speaker 2 Yeah, welcome back. Hey, thanks for joining us.
We really appreciate it. Well, Chrissy, this will be way old news by the time it broadcasts here.

Speaker 2 By the time it's getting to your ears, you'll already have heard about it. But breaking news now, as we're recording this, Firefest 2 is not happening.

Speaker 2 It is not happening. In the least surprising news of the year,

Speaker 2 Billy has managed to fuck it all up.

Speaker 2 I saw that like a DJ had come out and talked about how she turned it down.

Speaker 2 Yeah, there's a couple of people who are out there say, a couple people have a very similar story to the story that I have, which is they had been contacted by representatives of Firefest over the years to participate in some shenanigans, and all you had to do was pay to be a part of it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you can cover it if you pay for it, which is which is the pitch to me. This guy literally called me out of the blue, said, I love your show.
Billy loves your show.

Speaker 2 We want you to have, you know, exclusive rights to interview him on your show for this and that and the other thing.

Speaker 2 And then we went down the rabbit hole for, I don't know, two or three or four weeks, a month or something like that.

Speaker 2 And at the end, it was a pitch to get me to pay to go to new york to some exclusive firefest 2 announcement event where i would pay three thousand dollars but he could get me tickets for 1500 half price because i was such a nice guy and they liked the show so much and while i never spoke to billy directly on the phone I was CC'd on emails and Billy responded to those emails from an email that seemingly was Billy's.

Speaker 2 I did some homework and it seemed like it was Billy's. So Billy was in on this.
This is just like one big scam or rama. I mean, Billy, I'm not saying that Billy was trying to scam me out of money.

Speaker 2 I don't want to, I don't want to misspeak or make it, you know, make a mountain out of a molehill.

Speaker 2 It appeared that they were trying to get me interested in a press event where you had to pay to be at the press event, which is unlike any press event I've ever heard of.

Speaker 2 Which was going to be announcing a fest that now is not happening. That's right.
It was a festival to announce a festival that is now not a festival. There you go.
Just like the first festival. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But Dead Mouse 5

Speaker 2 responded to the news that this has been postponed indefinitely

Speaker 2 by by saying, well, that sucks. So people are trying to determine whether Dead Mouse has said this kind of jokingly or if he was actually involved in this.
Here's how it all went down.

Speaker 2 Billy was supposed to do it in some form. He was supposed to announce the lineup, right? He was supposed to land.
Well, here's how it goes. Let me give you a timeline of events.

Speaker 2 He announces that the Firefest 2 is happening. He has a team on the ground in Mexico because he can't attend because he has a probation.

Speaker 2 He's on probation because he's got an ankle monitor.

Speaker 2 That in itself is pretty

Speaker 2 funny. But he says, don't worry, I've got professionals involved.
He named some of those professionals, which people find out they are semi-professional.

Speaker 2 They're professional in the way that Jamland Productions was professional. You know what I'm saying? We did do

Speaker 2 a website. They had a website and they occasionally did an event, like an event inside of a club.
You know what I'm saying? Like, not really an event. Kind of like the venue was already there.

Speaker 2 They just made. Promoted it.
Yeah, they just made those glossy postcards you hand out on the street. That's what they did.
So,

Speaker 2 so next thing that comes is there is a location given. People by east-west, like latitude, longitude, people put that in their old search machine and find out that that's in the middle of the ocean.

Speaker 2 There's no land there. So that's the first indication that something has gone wrong.
But it's going to be in this general area.

Speaker 2 But people can't, no one can figure out exactly what, who's playing, where are the stages, where do you stay? Billy puts a bunch of hotels on on the website and says, These are our partners.

Speaker 2 You're going to have a great time. You're going to be hobnobbing with the best in the world and the brightest and people creatives and all this.

Speaker 2 Also, buy this $1 million package. Yes, $1 million.
Yes. From $1,500 to $1 million.
That's the ticket prices.

Speaker 2 And that quickly falls apart when the town where he claimed this was going to be and the hotels who he had said were his partners literally said,

Speaker 2 I have no idea.

Speaker 2 They had never been contacted. No one had ever talked to them, which is like an epic cluster fuck, given that the first Firefest fell on its face because there was no place to stay, to sleep, to eat.

Speaker 2 So you would think those bases would be covered first, but hence, no, it's Billy McFarland and nothing happened.

Speaker 2 So then, a couple of weeks later, so Billy, then the township comes out and says, we don't have any idea what he's talking about. Never had anybody

Speaker 2 file for any permits, give us any money.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you got to go down there and you got to grease the wheels and give a couple of people 100 pesos and figure things. Like, this is the way this universe works, not only in Mexico, everywhere.

Speaker 2 I don't, you know, get Jeff on it. I'm sure he can tell us a few stories if he didn't want to do the festival again next year.

Speaker 2 I get it. I've been there.
I've done it. So in a very small way, but I've been there and I've done it.
So he moves the festival without announcing the festival has been moved.

Speaker 2 It just magically appears about 100 miles down the coast. All of a sudden, it's 100 miles down the coast.
He puts this big press event together in which no press shows up.

Speaker 2 And he doesn't either because nobody paid for it. He has an ankle monitor.
That's right. He has an ankle monitor.
So he zooms in.

Speaker 2 And there's a bunch of like official-looking people from Mexico, but none of them are actually Mexican officials.

Speaker 2 They're just people that Billy has buddied up to that are talking smack because that township, Quintana Roo, says, no, no, no, no, no. Yonose,

Speaker 2 yono se. I don't know.
I have no idea. This takes months to get these permits and we have no idea.
To which Billy Restomp responds, bullshit, we have the permits. I'll show them to you.

Speaker 2 So Billy smartly,

Speaker 2 in the way only Billy could do, puts them on Instagram, expecting that no one on Instagram has ever spoken Spanish before.

Speaker 2 Because when people start reading the permits, including myself, and I'm not that great of a Spanish speaker, but I can read pretty well. They are permits from the local venues, like a beach club.

Speaker 2 Yeah. We're talking like a beach club, like Panama City beach club, like Club La Vila type place, but much smaller.

Speaker 2 Not a festival grounds, like a tiny little club that allows them to have a 12-hour event for 250 people. Billy has already said up to 1,800 people are coming.

Speaker 2 So what are the other 1,450 people going to do? What are they, 1,650 people, what are they going to do? I don't know. I guess they're just not going to that particular event.

Speaker 2 Right. Wasn't it going to be at like different ones around the town or something? He had one permanent.
Like a bar crawl, but a festival crawl. Yes.

Speaker 2 It's the most expensive.

Speaker 2 Yes. It's the most expensive night out in Mexico of your life.
That's what it is.

Speaker 2 You might as well go to South Beach and just get drunk. At least the DJs will be good.
I mean, at least you'll know who's playing. Billy messed this up from the beginning in so many ways that

Speaker 2 is like laughable. It is.
And the fact that he didn't have his ducks in a row before he even made the announcement, said everything you needed to know about what was going to go down.

Speaker 2 This was not, this is no surprise that this was coming.

Speaker 2 And when he put those permits online, claiming that this festival was happening, and when he put the permits on the line and people were like, dude, you have a permit for recorded music to be played to 250 people for a total of 12 hours.

Speaker 2 And it's a four-day festival.

Speaker 2 what is going on who is playing what are you claiming what are you planning to do he says well we're gonna have lots of different entertainment you might get an mma uh get an mma tutorial from a real live mma

Speaker 2 uh you know

Speaker 2 martial artist yeah yeah you might get a skateboarding tutorial from a real live pro skateboarder dude

Speaker 2 go on youtube no one cares go on youtube i'm not paying a million dollars to hobnob with a 138th most popular MMA artist. Do you know what I'm saying? Retired NBA stars.

Speaker 2 I'm sure that some people want to buddy up to those people. Some people want to rub elbows with those folks.
And people did buy tickets. How do we know this?

Speaker 2 Because the reason why we know the festival is postponed is because a ticket holder put out on Instagram or social media. I mean, somebody who literally just had money to burn.

Speaker 2 Yes, had money to burn or was going to be one of the few people who had the best story ever. They were going to sell it to Netflix.

Speaker 2 They were going to have a book. They put out the email that they received.
Now, here's what I will give credit to Billy for. And legally, I think he had no other choice.
This person received a refund.

Speaker 2 Oh. And it said, if when we announce the new dates, if you're able to attend, you'll have the first bite at the end.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 They did actually get a refund because I thought that was part of the paperwork

Speaker 2 that he put out, too, which had the legal judgment. The legal reason of no refunds, refunds, no extravagance.

Speaker 2 Absolutely, no refunds, rain or shine. Even if the event doesn't happen, you're going to get no refunds.

Speaker 2 But they did refund at least this one person that's online, admitting that they actually bought a ticket to Firefest, too.

Speaker 2 That does take balls. It does take balls, but I can see.

Speaker 2 Like I could see if we had the money to burn. Like if this show ever made money, I could see if we had the money to burn just for the entertainment.
To go down the rabbit hole.

Speaker 2 Just to be at some wild event that's going to really blow up. And I don't mean in the good way, like not glow up, blow up.

Speaker 2 And I could see wanting to be there to kind of like document it, to see what goes down. Yeah, watch the train wreck.

Speaker 2 You know,

Speaker 2 none of us want to be in a car wreck, but we all turn our heads when we see them. And so that's, I think, the reason to go down there.

Speaker 2 And I'm going to make the assumption that this person who has come out and shared this email,

Speaker 2 was going to go down there for the same reason, a content creator of some sort or, you know, press or whatever.

Speaker 2 So, Billy has now failed twice, but probably many more times that we don't know about, including this, you know, New York announcement show and all this.

Speaker 2 Some other people have claimed that he tried to get them to buy tickets to an underwater rave.

Speaker 2 Like, they were going to go down with scuba gear and they were going to have headphones on where someone was going to be spinning. I mean, come on, honestly, what a dumb-dumb.
Wow. Yeah, Billy, buddy.

Speaker 2 The funny thing is

Speaker 2 about all of this, to me, is that, okay, you made a mistake the first time.

Speaker 2 You got in way over your head. And Ja Rule went for the cry.

Speaker 2 Ja Rule.

Speaker 2 I noticed Ja Rule didn't poke his head out for Firefest 2. No, he did not.
No.

Speaker 2 None of the Jenners did either. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Was involved in the beginning. No, smartly, right? Ja Rule has not.
I don't think Ja Rule has made a public appearance since.

Speaker 2 I think smartly he has not.

Speaker 2 He came this close to spending six years in jail.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 2 after Ja Rule, I just can't still can't get over Ja Rule.

Speaker 2 Ja Rule.

Speaker 2 I don't know. Was Ja Rule? He was good in the 90s.
Yeah,

Speaker 2 he had a thing. He had a vibe.
Yeah,

Speaker 2 I don't hate on Ja Rule.

Speaker 2 I don't see how Ja Rule managed to get himself involved in this. But then didn't Ja Rule have a restaurant? He was a drunker, I guess.
Yeah, he, oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 oh yeah he talked himself right into a big paycheck for billy

Speaker 2 and their investors didn't ja rule have a restaurant like a jabahamas or something

Speaker 2 uh probably i think they did and i think people were like online giving it a you know one star or something after the anyway ja rule nowhere to be found the the thing about this is and speaking with a little bit of seriousness You made a mistake, a big mistake, and you screwed a lot of people over and you almost killed some people.

Speaker 2 And now, granted, these people had money to burn also. Like, they're not the most sympathetic characters in the world, but okay, some people went down there with the best of intentions.

Speaker 2 You were famous enough after this whole debacle to really clean it up. Yes.
And call some people. We've said that.
I mean, do it right. Do it right.
Like, change, do right by people. Yes.

Speaker 2 It is the year of our Lord 2025. There are literally billionaires burning money on space dicks.
You could have gotten someone to give you a million bucks to like seed this whole thing,

Speaker 2 called in some real professionals, not some guys who have put some club events on, but some like real professionals and put this all together, taken your time, put it all together, and done this the right way where you never touched the money, but you're kind of.

Speaker 2 Paid up front. Yeah, you're kind of the puppet master.
Yes, everyone paid up front, you know, tense on the ground long ahead of time.

Speaker 2 And you're kind of the puppet master, pulling the strings, learning as you go along, having some other professionals that have done this 12, 15, 300 times so that you really get an idea for what's going on.

Speaker 2 I think part of what got Billy in trouble in the first place is he had never done anything like this, and they tried to do it themselves.

Speaker 2 Yeah, because he just was doing like local stuff in New York, right? Doing stuff at clubs in New York. Yeah, he was like a special event, like exclusive.
Yeah, he's a weekend warrior, you know?

Speaker 2 He was like, yeah, special exclusive.

Speaker 2 He had like an exclusive club that he would throw parties at, and that never made money either. They was a you had a card, you had to get in the delivery.
Yes, stupid. A card.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 So, if you had taken the time, the energy, and the effort to get this done correctly, and you had stayed on the straight and narrow and not tried to like be a ticket broker on the side and put all these ham hock events together.

Speaker 2 If you had just focused in on this and had a day job in the meantime, like where you were trying to pay people back, had a day job in the meantime, you probably, probably could have pulled this off.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Could have pulled off the greatest comeback in music history, music festival history, and people would have applauded the whole efforts.

Speaker 2 You would have had a lot of haters along the way, but you would have put them to bed when you did it the right way. But you really did this.

Speaker 2 I mean, how more poorly could this have gone? Yeah, and every step of the way, too, him's just saying, no, it's happening. No, it's happening.
Yes, we're doing it.

Speaker 2 I mean, I'm just thinking about the reel where Billy made this announcement where he's like walking down some New York street, like a three-year-old screaming, you know, it's happening.

Speaker 2 My team is on the ground in Mexico. Fire Fest 2 is going to happen.
Mark my words. Yeah, mark your words.
Oh, well, he put that on Instagram, right? He put it on Instagram.

Speaker 2 And I've noticed Billy's been absent from Instagram since the permits went online

Speaker 2 because the comment section, I mean, I came there for the comments. It was so funny.

Speaker 2 People are like, they're like, 100, the permit said 100 decibels up to 12 hours of only recorded music for only 250 people. That's

Speaker 2 so for four years or three years since you've been out of jail, you've been working on this. And that's what you came up with? 250 people.
Renting a club out. Yes.
In Mexico. I could rent Chuck E.

Speaker 2 Cheese quicker than that for 300 people. And probably, and I got a live band playing.
It's Chuck E. and his little band.

Speaker 2 I mean, honestly.

Speaker 2 Terrible. You could have done an invented Chuck E.
Cheese, and people would have been excited about it. You would have said Firefest 2.

Speaker 2 You could have done this tongue-in-cheek.

Speaker 2 There's so many different ways you could have done this and probably just like healed yourself and your reputation along the way, but you chose to pretend like you knew what you were talking about the second time and you failed.

Speaker 2 This part of me feels a little, tiny, little bit empathetic toward Billy because I think he's just a big lug nut. I think he's just a big dum-dum who's hoping that something works out in life.

Speaker 2 And I have been there. I'm that guy.
I'm a big lug nut who hopes this all works out.

Speaker 2 That's kind of, I'm just like plodding through life, hoping the commercial break, you know, becomes Conan O'Brien overnight. It's not going to happen, but I hope it does.

Speaker 2 But here's the difference between me and Billy. I don't make Instagram announcements about how I'm going to be Conan O'Brien, you know, how I'm going to be on the Conan O'Brien show tomorrow.

Speaker 2 So yeah, he's just bad. He is.
He's bad. It's bad.
It's all bad. But now it's over and we all get to go back to our normal.
Exactly.

Speaker 2 But I do have to say, and I didn't want to cut in and cut you off earlier because I know how we tend to go

Speaker 2 schizophrenic

Speaker 2 types with our talking.

Speaker 2 It made me think about, you said, Ja Rule had a restaurant. It made me think, I don't know why this popped in my head all of a sudden, but I was thinking about musicians who have restaurants.

Speaker 2 And do you remember Micks?

Speaker 2 Micks. Mick Jaggers.

Speaker 2 No. Mix here in Atlanta? Oh my God, it was like Atlantic or Linux Mall, and it was, it had like quite a few different locations around here in Atlanta.
I don't remember this.

Speaker 2 It was like the fun place to go. Oh, okay.
And the only place that I remember at it was that Lennox Mall or Phipps? I think so.

Speaker 2 The only place that I, the only notable restaurant that I remember from that part of town or that I like made an impression on me was that the tavern at Phipps Plaza. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Where the girls were dressed like really nice Hooters girls. Are they still dressing like Hooters girls?

Speaker 2 I'm sure they are. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I don't remember mixed, but we'll do a little research and we'll maybe we'll dredge up some stories. I don't.
I just don't know why. It's a great spot to go at quite a few locations.

Speaker 2 And it was here in Atlanta. It was here in Atlanta, and I think across the country.
Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, you know, I once got told by a

Speaker 2 when I was working at one of the restaurants, I can't remember. I think it might have been Listrad.

Speaker 2 And I was talking like I was going to open my own restaurant because, you know, I was probably high on something, making all these plans that never came to fruition.

Speaker 2 But I was talking with someone else, like a financial advisor, a guy who was rich, something something like that and he said anybody who walks into my oh he was a guy who like dealt with sports players money oh he was in a financial advisor for sports players and he would hang out at the bar at the end sometimes and so i'm sure it was at the end of the night and i'm fucking jizzy jazzed on something and he we were talking about opening a restaurant he said if someone comes in if one of these guys comes in and starts talking about opening a restaurant i said you might as well take that money and throw it in the fireplace if you want a place to go drink and have fun then and you're willing to pay a billion dollars to do that.

Speaker 2 You'll do it right. Cool.
You'll have two years, it'll be great, and then you're going to close the place.

Speaker 2 Otherwise, for fucking get about it, because restaurant business is the hardest business to return on investment. And it really is.
And so to even make a profit. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Didn't Chipper Jones have a restaurant for a while there? Yeah, everybody's having a helmet, buddy.

Speaker 2 Well, and it reminded me too, you remember that spot close to where we used to work at the radio station? It was right there on Peach Street. I feel like, I want to say, like, Frank Ski from

Speaker 2 V. Frank Ski's.

Speaker 2 But I think it was Sean Combs. It was.
It was Diddy's. Yeah, it was Diddy's.
It was like, holy,

Speaker 2 it was like,

Speaker 2 I thought he had the pleather. It was Diddy's.
It was Frank Ski's. It was

Speaker 2 Combs. It was Whitney Houston had something to do with it at one point.
That's why they call it like the

Speaker 2 Whitney Houstons, the Houstons down there, because she had something to do with the restaurant. And then Bobby Brown was involved.
Every famous

Speaker 2 person from Atlanta at some point had something to do with this restaurant space, and it never worked. Yes, it was this one spot prime location.
But you couldn't park. Yes, there was no parking.

Speaker 2 There was no parking, and that's the problem. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I think there was a couple shootings down there, too. That might have something to do with it.
But, you know, hey, listen, it was prime location. There was no doubt about it.

Speaker 2 That is a tough, tough fucking business. And so, you know, what can you do?

Speaker 2 Listen, I love the restaurant business, but after having worked in every position in the entire restaurant up to and including, you know,

Speaker 2 being like a managing partner, the reality is it's a very,

Speaker 2 very difficult, stressful business. I am like headlong into top chef rewatch right now.

Speaker 2 I'm watching seasons I didn't watch, and I used to love that show.

Speaker 2 And every time I watch those people just like sweating their balls off to try and impress Tom Calicio, I'm like, I like Tom Calicio, but I would, you couldn't pay me enough money to go back and do that.

Speaker 2 You couldn't. Now, if I was like in an emergency situation, I would run and wait tables or bartend for a couple bucks, which I thought about doing at one point during this commercial break run.

Speaker 2 Just FYI. Just me too.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 There's a little spot down the street that I thought about working at. Stay tuned.
Still might happen.

Speaker 2 12 hours of TCB is now turning into like the 14 hours of TCB. And I haven't even told Chrissy about it.
So

Speaker 2 let me explain to her, and then we'll be back with more fun and shenanigans right after I load the commercial. We'll be back.

Speaker 5 Okay, you're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at TCB. It's pretty simple.
Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute.

Speaker 5 Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid too? You know you do.
Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822.

Speaker 5 You can be on the show too.

Speaker 5 Just call and say something. Anything.
Or text us and we'll text you right back. Promise.
Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker.

Speaker 5 It's your constitutional right to a sticker and we must abide. You get the point.

Speaker 5 Follow us on Instagram at thecommercial break and watch all the episodes on video at youtube.com/slash thecommercial break. Best to you and Astrid, especially Astrid.

Speaker 1 This episode is sponsored by our longtime sponsor, Squarespace. I am working on a new project, Information TBD.
It's very secretive.

Speaker 1 It's very hush-hush around here because, you know, podcast secrets are a thing.

Speaker 1 Anywho, there is only one all-in-one website tool that's designed to help my new project stand out and be successful, and that one tool is Squarespace.

Speaker 1 Squarespace can help me through every step of the process. The launch, the scaling, the branding, and the growth.

Speaker 1 No matter what part of the journey I am on, Squarespace is an all-in-one website platform, so it'll cater to my needs every step of the way.

Speaker 1 There are so many benefits, services, and tools built into Squarespace, I would need a 10-minute commercial to name them all.

Speaker 1 Cutting edge design, search engine optimization tools, domain management, analytics, email campaigns, the ability to host videos, and most importantly, the ability to get paid.

Speaker 1 So if you've been thinking about building or upgrading your website, now's the time to head to squarespace.com slash commercial for a free trial.

Speaker 1 And when you're ready to launch, make sure to use the offer code commercial to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. That's squarespace.com slash commercial.

Speaker 1 Then be sure to use the code commercial when you're ready to launch. Squarespace has been with the commercial break for a long time, and we have been with Squarespace for even longer.

Speaker 1 This is a company we trust. It's a product we use.
And there's one overarching reason why. It makes my life easier.
Go build yourself a beautiful website, squarespace.com slash commercial.

Speaker 1 And thank you to Squarespace for being a sponsor of the commercial break.

Speaker 6 This is Free Range with Von Miller, the podcast where I step outside the lines and I take you with me.

Speaker 6 Each week, we're talking everything from the biggest stories around the league to the biggest stories off the field. This isn't your average sports podcast.

Speaker 6 This is game meets culture, locker room meets living room, and no topic is off limits.

Speaker 6 So if you're into good conversations that ruffle a few feathers, join me every Wednesday and follow Free Range with Von Miller everywhere you get your podcast.

Speaker 1 This episode is sponsored in part by Rula. You know, there was a time when I really needed therapy, but I could not find a therapist who took my insurance.

Speaker 1 I can remember feeling so stuck like I had to choose between getting help and staying on budget. That's why I think what Rula is doing is so very important.

Speaker 1 Rula makes therapy accessible and affordable by partnering with over 100 insurance plans. The average copay is around $15 per session, and depending on your benefits, it could even be less.

Speaker 1 They also take the time to find the right therapist for you, someone who understands your goals, your preferences, and your background. There's no waiting weeks or months for an appointment.

Speaker 1 You can start as soon as tomorrow, and Rula stays with you along the way, checking in, supporting your progress, and helping you feel seen and cared for.

Speaker 1 Thousands of people are already using Rula to get affordable, high-quality therapy that's actually covered by insurance. Visit rula.com/slash commercial to get started.

Speaker 1 And after you sign up, you'll be asked how you heard about them. Please support the commercial break and let them know we sent you.
That's rula.com slash commercial.

Speaker 1 You deserve mental health care that works with you, not against your budget.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we were just talking about all these restaurants that here in Atlanta. I think we found Mix.
Not 100% sure it was associated with Mick Jagger, but I could see why you might think that.

Speaker 2 I could see why you might think that. But I do remember it now that I've seen a picture of the old overhead, the old awning that used to sit there.
And that was really close to where we worked.

Speaker 2 And then Mr. Diddy's.
Mr. Diddy's.
Mr. Diddy, if you don't mind.
Who hot? Who not?

Speaker 2 Creepy Diddy on the bridge.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 To think there are probably freak offs that happened here in Atlanta. He owned a house here for a long time.
Yeah. Yeah, he owned a big house here for a long time.

Speaker 2 Justin Bieber also stayed here for a period of time. Well, he had a house here.
He had a house. He actually was renting that house from another famous person.
Can't remember.

Speaker 2 It might have been Ja Rule. I don't know.
That might have been. I'm not sure.
It all goes back to Ja Rule. Yes.

Speaker 2 But I was at the time in the like in the real estate business, and I was building a house that was closer to where Justin Bieber was staying.

Speaker 2 And this is the craziest story that I want to tell you.

Speaker 2 Search your mind and see if you remember like a restaurant-related celebrity story. I'm going to tell one.
Okay. So I would drive by this particular house.
It's shaped like a spaceship.

Speaker 2 That's the only way to describe it. And if you live in Atlanta, you know the spaceship house in it in Sandy Springs.
You'll know it. It's on a corner.
It's back in the woods.

Speaker 2 It's up off a very, you know, Ponzi part of town. And it literally looks like a spaceship landed, but it's beautiful.
It's glass windows.

Speaker 2 It's got this big gate all the way around it, nice piece of land on the corner of this quiet street.

Speaker 2 And I would drive by this house all the time to go to this place that we were to this house that we were building.

Speaker 2 And then I started to notice that like occasionally there'd be like a private security guard in the front like the driveway of this house.

Speaker 2 And then a couple days later, I noticed that there was like a police officer and a security guard. And I thought to myself, wow, that's strange, never seen that before.

Speaker 2 I did never knew who owned the house, but I, it had to been someone rich.

Speaker 2 But I was thinking to myself, well, maybe there's some trouble and they, that's why they're keeping the security guards out there.

Speaker 2 Or maybe because Atlanta is a hub for all things television and film, someone is renting the house and they've asked for some additional security.

Speaker 2 Couple days later, week later, whatever it is, I am driving up that street and there are five or six women who have

Speaker 2 poster boards on sticks out and it's like, Papa Razzi, go away. Papa Razzi, go home.
Justin, go home. Whatever it said.
And I'm reading this and I'm like, what in the good fuck?

Speaker 2 Why are they, why are they picketing in the middle of this quiet suburban street in a very rich part of town?

Speaker 2 Could not imagine why this was happening until I read that Justin was renting a house in Atlanta and this was likely the house that he was renting. And eventually, it was a scene.

Speaker 2 There was a lot of people standing out in front of the house.

Speaker 2 There were people parked up and down the sides of the street.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it became a big cluster fuck. And the neighbors were pissed.
Yes.

Speaker 2 Because these other neighbors, neighbors they're very rich and probably some of them famous and they're not interested in having anybody film or photog around where they are and so justin i think eventually kind of got ran out of town or ran out of this house at least because of all the press that he was driving to this very quiet neighborhood and i always thought to me to be a little bit unfair it's like you're rich and you got a gate and like leave poor justin alone first of all Paparazzi, leave poor Justin alone.

Speaker 2 At that time, leave poor Justin alone. Now I don't know what's going on with Justin.
He's all over over the place.

Speaker 2 All over the place. Yeah, I think that whole Diddy situation blowing up so publicly and him being so associated with P.
Diddy, I mean, P. Diddy basically made him, made his career,

Speaker 2 along with a couple other famous R B and hip-hop stars. I think

Speaker 2 something went down there.

Speaker 2 And also, I think he's got child star PTSD. Yeah, which happens.
He never grew up.

Speaker 2 He never had an opportunity to grow up. And now he's got that Haley Bieber, and she is gorgeous and well put together.
And I think she's desperately trying to keep his head directly on his shoulders.

Speaker 2 Meanwhile,

Speaker 2 he's in a fur coat and underwear running around screaming at paparazzi. And you can hardly blame the guy because he really hasn't had a normal life.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I think at some point you just cry out for some normalcy, some stability, some privacy. And none of that is afforded to him.

Speaker 2 And that's the deal with the devil that you make when you get that famous. it really is

Speaker 2 and you know who knows what happened with that diddy do you know what i'm saying it's yeah like there was a lot of years a lot of opportunities a lot of parties a lot of parties a lot of creepy weird interviews and videos that came out afterwards that now take on a whole different context i'm not one to jump to a bunch of conclusions but some of those interactions between P.

Speaker 2 Diddy and Justin that are on video are very strange. They're very, like, we're going to have a sleepover.
I own you now for 48 hours. Your mom, your mom let me keep you for 48 hours.

Speaker 2 I'm now your daddy. Like just weird shit.
Like, how did we not know? How did Daddy, how did we not know? I mean, lots of people knew, but how did we not know? How did we not go, isn't it weird that P.

Speaker 2 Diddy wants a 12-year-old boy to hang out at his house for 48 hours? Yeah, he had such an image, though, of just, I mean,

Speaker 2 being somebody that people wanted to be associated with and make fun music. And kind of a threatening image too so i think people were

Speaker 2 i think it was difficult for people to come out and say something because they were afraid well that's for sure yeah but anyway that was the time justin bieber lived near my house i was building um

Speaker 2 i

Speaker 2 remember a night do you remember when i was living out on the porch and there were many nights i didn't know you turned your porch years yeah no i'm saying do you remember that i did the porch years yeah the porch years the porch month

Speaker 2 The porch month. I couldn't even hack it.
The porch weeks. Yeah, the porch days.

Speaker 2 The porch night.

Speaker 2 Oh, it was more than a night. Oh, it was probably a couple months.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 We had two roommates who actually lived in rooms in the apartment. They actually had the rooms in the apartment.

Speaker 2 And me and my friend Eduardo would be out on the, we were out on a back screened-in porch. I've told many stories about this, but we lived literally on a porch.
Sometimes you'd be let in.

Speaker 2 Sometimes you guys would stay up all night.

Speaker 2 Well, if the door, if they hadn't locked the door on us, that meant we were allowed to be in.

Speaker 2 And we would be up all night high on Colombian marching powder and Bud Light or whatever we could get our hands on. Whiteboarding thing.

Speaker 2 There was a huge whiteboard in this dining room, and Eduardo and I would write music lyrics and play guitar till 7 a.m.

Speaker 2 And then we'd go somewhere else. Like the river.
Yeah, why not? Let's go do our drugs down at the river. Now that the sun is up and we feel miserable, let's go do that.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 it was one night when we were doing our thing. Both of our roommates were out working.
One worked at a really nice restaurant. At the time, we all thought it was a kind of a nice restaurant, Papado.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, Papado. Famous Texas restaurant.
It's still around. It is still around.
So is Papacito's. It's actually delicious.
Yeah, Papado, Papacitos, you know, great food consistent.

Speaker 2 If you live in Texas or Atlanta or anywhere where there's a Papado or Papacitos, Papacitos, then you know it's a chain of restaurants, these huge restaurants.

Speaker 2 They just like food factories, but they have really good food and high standards. And that's why people keep on coming time and time again.

Speaker 2 And so one of them was a manager at Papado's, and one of them had been fired from his management position at Papado's because he was a straight-up alcoholic. And this is like no joke, alcoholic.

Speaker 2 I need alcohol all the time. And he had like five DUIs, like five.
And one night he got caught drinking while he was driving, drinking while he was driving, and the officer drove him home.

Speaker 2 Like he gave him a break, drove him home. But this is long before these laws where, you know, your license gets taken away forever because you had your third DUI or fourth DUI or whatever it is.

Speaker 2 So he was a bad alcoholic, and he ended up getting a job as a general manager of a very large sports bar here north of the city. I'm not going to name the bar because it's still around.

Speaker 2 But David and I are juiced to the hilt one night, and I mean soaked in Bud Light and cocaine. Now, I'm just going to be real frank about it.

Speaker 2 And the phone rings.

Speaker 2 Which both of us had jumped directly out of our chairs to throw the, you know, like, ah, it's the police.

Speaker 2 Get down.

Speaker 2 Because when that house phone rang, it rang loudly. Do you know what I'm saying? It broke the air.
It broke the tension. It made it more tense.
And who's calling at two o'clock in the morning?

Speaker 2 It could only be one one of the roommates. So

Speaker 2 Eduardo picks up the phone.

Speaker 2 He says, I can hear him talking, but I'm not really listening. I'm more thinking to myself, do we have any more cocaine? Should we get some more cocaine? It's time.
Or should I play another chord?

Speaker 2 I think I have a lyric in my head. Let's write it on the whiteboard.
And he hangs up the phone and he says, get dressed. And I'm like, I am dressed.
And he's like, okay, we're going to go.

Speaker 2 And I'm like, where are we going? We can't go anywhere. We're fucked.
We're fucked. We're so sauced right now.
Where do you want to go?

Speaker 2 And we have to go to this bar.

Speaker 2 And I go, it's close. It's 2:30 in the morning.
It's closed. What do we do? It's too, what are we going to go to that bar for?

Speaker 2 He's closing it down. Do you know who's at the end of the bar? No, Greg Allman.
And I'm like, Greg Allman is at the end of the bar. He's been there for most of the night.

Speaker 2 This guy, another noted alcoholic, also another noted alcoholic and drug addict.

Speaker 2 And let's call this guy. The guy.
Yeah. Let's call Mike,

Speaker 2 the roommate's name Mike. Mike

Speaker 2 is closed down the bar, and they're still sitting there drinking. And he called me and he said, if you want to come and meet Greg Allman, come on down.

Speaker 2 And we did. We took this like half hour long journey, driving 10 miles per hour all the way to this back roads, every back road we could find.

Speaker 2 You know, turn down this suburban street, turn down that suburban street because the police won't be there and we have less chance of getting caught.

Speaker 2 We drove all the way to this suburban bar to get there as Greg Allman and his security, his bodyguard

Speaker 2 are wrapping things up. Now, Greg Allman had like on and off sobriety for many years.

Speaker 2 His autobiography is really good, by the way. He had struggles.

Speaker 2 I think this is an off time. Now, I never saw Greg directly drinking because he was leaving when he left.

Speaker 2 But when he left, he actually had two guys with him. So one looked like a body man, like a guy who was there either to try and keep him sober and out of trouble or whatever.

Speaker 2 And the other guy looked like maybe the guy who was off duty, but he was drinking. And so we said hello.
He was very nice. We, I fawned over him for a minute.
He did the kind of the famous thing.

Speaker 2 Thank you very much. Thank you very much.
You know, good to meet you, blah, blah, blah. And out the door and into a limousine and off they drove.

Speaker 2 And we sat with the second guy who had been with Greg for a number of years and told some wild fucking stories about Greg Allman. And I'll share one.
This is all hearsay.

Speaker 2 I don't know that this actually happened. I heard this from a guy who claims he was there when this happened.

Speaker 2 That Greg Allmond was one night missing in Atlanta, down in Atlanta, and somehow had escaped the body man who was supposed to keep him out of trouble. The Wrangler.
Yes. The Wrangler.

Speaker 2 And they found him on a street. Getting head, smoking crap.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 In like in the middle of downtown Atlanta, like in an alley, like somewhere in, you know, the Centennial Olympic Park area before Centennial Olympic Park, like back in the, you know, early 90s or whatever it was, in the really seedy part of town.

Speaker 2 Yeah. They, you know, fanned out and found him completely shithammered,

Speaker 2 getting

Speaker 2 satisfied with a crackpipe in his hand. Wow.

Speaker 2 And had to literally carry him and put him in a car and carry him back up to the hotel room where he eventually settled down and they had to lock the door and stand outside all night long.

Speaker 2 And he told us,

Speaker 2 never forget this, he told us that that was their job, was to essentially stand by him. Now, to be clear about Greg Allman, he eventually was very sober

Speaker 2 to the point,

Speaker 2 correct me if I'm wrong, because Chrissy's been around them backstage. They don't even allow alcohol backstage.
Like, you can't even be drinking a beer.

Speaker 2 Like, if you you get a backstage pass, you can't even bring a beer around you. Now, Greg has passed, but the later years of his life, he took his sobriety very seriously.

Speaker 2 But he had to. I mean, God, he was dying.
He was dying. And if I don't, if I'm not mistaken, he did get arrested a couple of times with cocaine and crack and stuff.

Speaker 2 Yeah, his autobiography, he tells it all. Yeah.
I mean, it's just like this wild. I didn't mention that story, but I can see it happening.
Listen. Yeah.
Again, it's all hearsay.

Speaker 2 And so don't take any of this as fact.

Speaker 2 When I was living in Nashville, the keith urban and it was a big story because he had married nicole kidman and you know living in nashville but she was off somewhere doing a movie or whatever he it was like 4 a.m and he's driving down the street and he sees this uh guy running down the street pulls over and asks him for crack and the guy was just running because he was like a trainer and he was up early and running keith urban asked him for crack and nicole Kidman swooped in.

Speaker 2 Like, I mean, it was a whole huge hull of blue in Nashville because this happened. And then he got like arrested or something.
He was bad on cracking. And Nicole Gidman sweeped in.

Speaker 2 He went off to rehab. And yeah.
Geez. It was a big deal.
Yeah, that crack. That'll get you.
Oh, yeah. Crack will get you.

Speaker 2 I can see.

Speaker 2 Shit goes down on crack. Shit goes down on crack.
Yeah, I could see not really caring that you're getting head in the middle of a street.

Speaker 2 I don't even see how you get head in the middle of a street while you're high on cocaine. But whatever.
That's neither here nor there.

Speaker 2 I mean, you know, Keith Urban's sober now, I would think. Oh, yeah, he's got to be.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he's too old for all that, Jesse. Yeah, I mean, this was like 2005.

Speaker 2 You know, the funny thing is, is you're 20 years ago. 20 years ago, that's crazy.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I really had no idea that Keith Urban was a crackhead. Is this like, no, is this like public information? Back in the day.
Did he go to rehab and stuff like that? Yeah, he went to rehab. Okay.

Speaker 2 I remember that you're a friend of ours, a mutual friend of ours, you'll know who I'm talking about, worked on movie sets and television sets, told me about a girl who was on one of the most famous television shows at the time going on, network television show.

Speaker 2 And I'm not going to say the name because I don't want our friend to, you know, whatever. And she explained to me while the show was still on air that this person was a terrible alcoholic.

Speaker 2 Yes, I got here talking about

Speaker 2 to the point where they had to sometimes delay shooting, or they had to sober her up enough to get her lines out, or they had to change complete scenes so she was not in them, or so that she didn't have to talk in them because she was a mumblefuck, like so badly alcoholic that she couldn't go, you know, an hour without having some kind of drink.

Speaker 2 And that it was well known all around town that this was going on, and she was making a mess of herself all over the place.

Speaker 2 And I thought that the story was interesting when it was told to me, but there was no public information that would indicate that that was the truth. I believed you're people keep it on under wraps,

Speaker 2 like hundreds of people on this television set, and you didn't hear anything about it until one time you did.

Speaker 2 There was a video that came out, a video showed her publicly drunk out in the streets of Nashville, out on the streets of Nashville, drunk and boob hanging out, and all this other stuff.

Speaker 2 And everybody chalked it up to, oh, she's having a good time. You know, she's having a good time.
Yeah, because that's commonplace in Nashville. Yeah, of course.

Speaker 2 That's like Nashville 101. Yeah, get drunk and throw your boob out.
Yeah. Hey, why not?

Speaker 2 But now years later, like five years ago, this actress comes out and says publicly, I really had a problem with alcohol.

Speaker 2 And especially during the time that I was filming this television show, I've now been to rehab and I'm sober and thank God for it. So it was funny how those, like it all, it all came full circle.

Speaker 2 Drugs and alcohol, no joke. And drugs and alcohol in moderation, in experimentation, in the

Speaker 2 pursuit of pleasure

Speaker 2 momentarily, and understanding that there's always a price to pay, even for experimentation and moderation.

Speaker 2 I don't have any problem with. But obviously, there are people who have real challenges with substances, and it's no joke.

Speaker 2 And as someone who could have just as easily gone down that Greg Allman route, now thank God I've never gotten a blowjob in an alley with a crackpipe in my hand, but

Speaker 2 it could have happened to me. It could have happened to me.

Speaker 2 If you had the money. If I had more money, that's right.
If I had had more money,

Speaker 2 then it would have happened to me. And the people procuring these things for you.
Yes,

Speaker 2 that's exactly right. Like the time that the guy from

Speaker 2 Bare Naked Ladies, the bodyguard from Bare Naked Ladies, told me how he would go to the bad side of Washington, D.C.

Speaker 2 and get brief cases full of cocaine for Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown. And I never believed, I always thought he was just bloviating to try and impress the girl that was with us.

Speaker 2 You know, I was like, oh, that's just a, he's just full of shit. Until it all came smashing out.
And I was like, yeah, no shit. That guy was getting briefcases full of cocaine for Whitney Houston.

Speaker 2 And Whitney Houston, another one who suffered greatly because of drugs and alcohol. Time, money, an addict's worse enemy.

Speaker 2 And when you got both of those, adding a little fame and some paparazzi, it's a time is a tale as old as time. tale is old as time

Speaker 2 strange as it can be yeah I mean you hear too even going back into like the original movie days yeah I mean Judy Garland

Speaker 2 bad you know she had bad addictions a lot of those early movie stars had bad addictions to Betty Boop

Speaker 2 yes all of most of them that's how they got through and back then

Speaker 2 people would keep your secrets oh yeah yeah I mean I think even JFK was like, he was on back

Speaker 2 pills and all kinds of amphetamines and all kinds of stuff. Elvis, I mean, listen, Elvis is like the,

Speaker 2 he's like the grand

Speaker 2 poobah of stories about drugs and alcohol. The guy was literally a narcotic machine.
Yeah, uppers, downers. Uppers, downers, more uppers, more downers.
Throw in some booze. Shots.

Speaker 2 Yeah, smack his button. Get out there and play another show in your Velvet Elvis outfit.
And let's hope everything works out okay. It's the way it is: banana and peanut butter sandwiches.

Speaker 2 You don't have the money, Brian. Well, thank God we don't have the money.

Speaker 2 That's why we work, that's why we work for free here at the commercial break is because we know if we get just a little tasty teener, it's going to be the best show in the world for about two weeks, and then you're going to see us on the front pages of People magazine.

Speaker 2 Famous podcaster

Speaker 2 company, yeah,

Speaker 2 famous podcaster gets dick bitten off by raccoons trying to secure blowjob while high on crack cocaine.

Speaker 2 oh possum possum even better

Speaker 2 not terrible possum penis related accident

Speaker 2 that would be so afro

Speaker 2 all right let's take a break more fun more fun to come here on the commercial rig aren't you glad you tuned in all right we'll be back

Speaker 6 you make this rather snappy won't you guys have anything to do before 10 o'clock

Speaker 5 Hi, cats and kittens. Rachel here.
Do you ever get the urge to speak endlessly into the void Like Brian? Well, I've got just the place for you to do that. 212-433-3TCB.
That's 212-433-3822.

Speaker 5 Feel free to call and yell all you want. Tell Brian I need a race.
Compliment Chrissy's innate ability to put up with all his shenanigans. Or tell us a little story.

Speaker 5 The juicier, the better, by the way. We'd love to hear your voice because Lord knows we're done listening to ourselves.

Speaker 5 Also, give us a follow on your favorite socials at the Commercial Break on Insta, TCB Podcast on TikTok. And for those of you who like to watch, oh, that came out wrong.

Speaker 5 We put all the episodes out on video: youtube.com/slash thecommercial break and tcbpodcast.com for all the info on the show, your free sticker, or just to see how pretty we look. Okay, I gotta go now.

Speaker 5 I've got a date with my dog. No, seriously, Axel needs food.
Today is pork chop day.

Speaker 7 Ready to level up? Chumba Casino is your playbook to fun. It's free free to play with no purchase necessary.

Speaker 7 Enjoy hundreds of online social games like Blackjack, Slots, and Solitaire anytime, anywhere, with fresh releases every week.

Speaker 7 Whether you are at home or on the go, let Chumba Casino bring the excitement to you. Plus, get free daily login bonuses and a free welcome bonus.

Speaker 7 Join now for your chance to redeem some serious prizes. Play Chumba Casino today.
No purchase necessary, VGW Group, Voidwear Prohibited by Law 21 Plus, TNCs apply.

Speaker 8 Don't let the holidays derail your fitness. Stay on track with hydro.
20 minutes rowing on a hydro targets 86% of your muscles as Olympians guide you from incredible locations worldwide.

Speaker 8 Running can't compete. That's why 90% stick with hydro a year later.
GQ named the hydro arc the best rower of 2025. And every hydro comes with free shipping, a 30-day trial, and warranty.

Speaker 8 Go to hydro.com code fit and save up to 600 bucks on your next hydro. Hydro.com code fit.

Speaker 2 Speaking of people who have passed away, Chrissy, is there

Speaker 2 what a way to say?

Speaker 2 Thank you.

Speaker 2 I know how to do a segue.

Speaker 2 I'm good at that.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Speaking of people who have passed away,

Speaker 2 you know, do you believe in heaven?

Speaker 2 I mean, yes. I believe

Speaker 2 some kind of version. Yeah, me too.
I believe in like a white cloud. No, I don't know.
Where Pearly Gate, but yeah.

Speaker 2 Because if it's the white clouds and pearly gate, there's an opposite version of that. And I I don't want to think about that.
I think we're pretty close to that right now. Yeah.
2025. That's right.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I don't think you can take a space stick up to heaven. But,

Speaker 2 you know, a lot of people do believe in heaven, and they do believe in that version of heaven, the pearly gates that let you in, what you do. You know, you're judged at the end.

Speaker 2 There's a lot of people in this country, especially, who believe in that kind of.

Speaker 2 Afterlife. Yeah, the afterlife where you are, there's maybe not a physical form, but for some reason,

Speaker 2 you can see other people. a Teresa Caputo kind of thing, right?

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 it's an opportunity, really, to make money.

Speaker 2 And one enterprising church in Mexico, Mexico, is making lots of money on heaven. Now, you might ask, how does one do that? Well, they sell plots of land in heaven

Speaker 2 for $100 a pop. One square meter of heaven costs $100.

Speaker 2 And they have been making lots of money selling land in heaven. Now,

Speaker 2 this sounds about as interesting as buying real estate in the metaverse. Remember when Snoop Dogg bought like a million-dollar property in the metaverse? Because Snoop Dogg.
That's right.

Speaker 2 We don't hear much about that anymore. No, the metaverse.

Speaker 2 Listen, I don't want to put my foot in my mouth, but I think NFTs in the metaverse, I don't think it worked out how anybody had expected it. No, I mean, they changed the Facebook changed their name to

Speaker 2 Meta. Yes.
they were so sure. And how many people are in the metaverse right now? I'm sure there's lots, actually.
I'm sure there's lots of people.

Speaker 2 But remember, they were having like concerts and raves and you know, all this other stuff. You tried to go.
I did. I tried to go and they would not let me in.
They got scared of me, honestly.

Speaker 2 I'm like, hey, where's the party? They're like, take that boat over there. But there was no boat.

Speaker 2 I just went into the water and I couldn't get out. I drowned in the metaverse.

Speaker 2 They literally killed me. I'm like, hey, bro.

Speaker 2 And he was like, get away from me.

Speaker 2 Literally. You know how you can like type, you know, you type or you talk, right? And I typed, hey, brother.
And he was like, I don't want to talk to you.

Speaker 2 Get away from me. Mommy told me not to talk to people like you.

Speaker 2 Okay, all right. I get the picture.
I was not quite cool enough to be accepted into the metaverse.

Speaker 2 But I don't feel so bad about it now because I think it was kind of a, I'm sure that it will take off in some form or fashion eventually when this version of reality gets miserable enough.

Speaker 2 And we're getting pretty close. So,

Speaker 2 you know, once democracy is totally gone, I'm sure

Speaker 2 the metaverse is going to be fine.

Speaker 2 Here's the story.

Speaker 2 Byline. True, true, true, true, true, true, byline medium.

Speaker 2 The online magazine medium. The online magazine medium, not the people who talk to people in heaven.

Speaker 2 I have a confession to make. After I walked away from the church, I struggled for a long time with the nagging feeling that God wouldn't welcome me into heaven.

Speaker 2 After all, I left the church feeling like I had abandoned a part of my life and my faith, as if I was turning my back on something sacred. But it turns out I needn't have worry.

Speaker 2 There's a church in Mexico selling land in heaven for only $100 per square meter, which to me seems like quite a bargain.

Speaker 2 Who knew that getting into heaven would be as easy as forking out a few $50 bills? Let me tell you about it.

Speaker 2 The real estate deal deal of the century, a Mexican church called the Inglesia del Finel dos los tiempos, or the church of the end of times, is offering people the chance to secure their place in heaven by selling a plot of land for $100 per square meter.

Speaker 2 Don't have $100? Don't despair. There are payment plans.

Speaker 2 I was going to say, layaway. All right, I'm not going to read the whole article.
Go check it out on Medium. But

Speaker 2 that is one enterprising young church people that listen. Why not?

Speaker 2 Again, this is like NFTs. This is going to go to the way of the dodo bird.
But I'm sure there are lots of people who are buying plots in heaven. Because for $100,

Speaker 2 you say, well, if it works out, great. I've secured my space.
If it doesn't work out, what did I lose? $100? Who cares? Right? It's just like those people who bought the NFTs. Well,

Speaker 2 I got a pixelated dick.

Speaker 2 If it works out, I'll be a millionaire. If it doesn't, I have a pixelated dick.

Speaker 2 I don't don't know whatever happened to all that i mean

Speaker 2 nothing the monkey thing that was like so board ape yes board ape is still a thing and they do trade at pretty high values even still today but it's really one of the few collections that does and there is an underground and i say more like an underbelly of people who are trading these nfts but i think mainly because they they went in on the the big hype of it and now they're just trying to figure out a way.

Speaker 2 And like anything that has to do with market manipulation there are probably a lot of algorithms that are just juicing buying and selling them quickly or buying them here and selling them there whatever it is it's just like all this you know altcoin bullshit the altcoins 99% of them they're meme coins and they have absolutely no value they never will they're haquitua coins they're trump coins they're millania coins they're you know wrestling coins or whatever if you have the money and it's a cool thing for you to have, cool.

Speaker 2 But a lot of people lose their life savings trying to trade these things and beat the algorithms or the people who are on the inside trading them at the highest value because they are pumping and dumping those coins.

Speaker 2 Never works out. Bitcoin, Ripple, Ether,

Speaker 2 all that stuff may have some value down the line. Who knows? It's hard to say.
Right. And I'm not, we're not here to give financial advice.
We're the last people you want to take a financial advice.

Speaker 2 But the NFTs seem like a ham hock idea to me from the beginning. Now, as digital rights management tool, it does seem cool.

Speaker 2 In other words, selling the IP of something, passing it on to a person, and managing that rights chain, it's just a little bit more of a highbrow concept than what an NFT is, which essentially is a JPEG.

Speaker 2 Do you remember Charlie Bit My Finger? The Charlie Bit My Finger video sold for like a million and a half dollars.

Speaker 2 The rights to the the Charlie bit my finger as an NFT.

Speaker 2 Do you think the people who bought the Charlie Bit My Finger have made a million and a half dollars back on people watching that video on YouTube or any other place? The answer is most likely no.

Speaker 2 Will they over time? Who knows? It's a very, very famous video. But, you know, there's other things like totally random pieces of art.

Speaker 2 But I told you, I knew this person who literally pixelated some dicks, like drew some dicks dicks on an old Atari system. Just think about it like that, pixelated dicks,

Speaker 2 made 300 of them and put them out in the universe, expecting, I think, that this would be the next big thing in NFTs.

Speaker 2 And last time I checked, which is like years ago, because I was,

Speaker 2 maybe not friendly, but I knew this person at the time. Last time I checked, they were trading at like an average value like 15 cents.
I mean, and only a third of them bought.

Speaker 2 By pixelated dicks. That's right.
Everybody had the same idea. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And what can you do with that pixelated dick? Show it to your friends? Look what I bought.

Speaker 2 Well, I can go on the same trading platform and take a picture of that pixelated dick and show it to my friends too. There's absolutely no value.

Speaker 2 Now, some of those NFTs have these, you know, they're built-in perks, right? Like the board ape, you can get it to board ape parties and they have a conference every year, whatever it is.

Speaker 2 Then there wasn't like a thing that we bought being stolen.

Speaker 2 Yeah, like Seth Green or something had a bored ape was stolen and then someone bought it like legitimately from two people who had stole it and then they sold it back to Seth Green for like a million dollars or something.

Speaker 2 I mean, honestly, honestly, for a bored ape,

Speaker 2 I get it. You want to be part of the Cool Kids Club.
You want to go to the conference. You want to get in on the action.

Speaker 2 I don't understand the allure of the NFTs unless I really wanted to go to that party and be a part of that club.

Speaker 2 But I have noticed, as a guy who kind of pays attention to this, that the hype around these things has really gone away. I mean, I don't see too many people hyping NFTs anymore.

Speaker 2 Those, all those Twitter spaces and clubhouses and all this other stuff about NFT, they really don't exist except for in a very small circle

Speaker 2 on the internet. Now, if you have an NFT and you find some value in it, I'd love to hear from you.

Speaker 2 I really would. Yeah, because maybe I am completely wrong about this and I'm open to being wrong because I am most of the time.
I'm completely out of touch. I am.
I am completely out of touch.

Speaker 2 Even though I'm trolling the internet constantly, I'm generally out of touch with what's going on.

Speaker 2 So maybe there's a burgeoning NFT scene that is just like super hot and I don't know about it because I haven't been invited, just like the metaverse. I've been kicked out of the NFT scene.

Speaker 2 Maybe they said, don't show Brian any more NFT content because he talks shit. I don't know.

Speaker 2 But if

Speaker 2 you are into NFTs and that's your thing, let me know.

Speaker 2 And I'd love to hear why you're into NFTs and what you think the value is so that I can better understand from someone who actually got in on it, you know, why this was.

Speaker 2 And I'm sure that there are people who made millions of dollars on those NFTs.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so there were. There were lots of people who made millions of dollars on NFTs.
Those are the people who got out right before the crash. That's right.

Speaker 2 And the crash happened like three or four years ago. And I just haven't seen, I haven't seen much about it since.
There were like every article had the word NFT in it. It was everywhere.
Everywhere.

Speaker 2 And I haven't seen an article about NFTs in two years. I just haven't seen it.

Speaker 2 But the selling heaven is an NFT. That's essentially what it is.

Speaker 2 There's almost no value in it except for your own perceived value and the fact that you get to get into an exclusive party, maybe eventually down the line.

Speaker 2 You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2 The next Firefest 3.

Speaker 2 Oh, poor Billy McFarlane.

Speaker 2 It does tug at the heartstring just for a second, and then I realize, hey, he's a shithead anyway.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so $100 for a piece of heaven. Would I buy it? Probably not, but it's like, you know, as a grand romantic gesture, I one time bought Astrid a star.
Yes, you did. And that's sweet.
It was sweet.

Speaker 2 But they gave us this whole package and this poster showing you where you were.

Speaker 2 Yeah, where you could see them, you know, where you could find it and how you could, if you got a telescope, maybe you could see it. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2 There. Yeah, right there.
So it's up in that general direction. So when I talked to Astrid about it, we got all this material and we were moving from house to house.

Speaker 2 And I'm like, oh, here's our star stuff. And she's like,

Speaker 2 yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I was like, wait, you don't want to keep the star stuff? And she's like, listen, it's a really nice idea, but I don't think we need to junk up our house.

Speaker 2 I'm like, junk up our house? We own a star. And she was like, yeah, but do we?

Speaker 2 But do we?

Speaker 2 Do we own a star? Do we own a star? And do we need a star? And what can we do with a star?

Speaker 2 I don't know. It's aye, Brian.
Aye, Brian.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And I realized at that moment, my grand romantic gesture was like buying an NFT.
It was just as dumb.

Speaker 2 Just as dumb. Why don't I just point to it and say, that's your star, babe? Yeah, between you and me, that's your star.
That's our star. That's our star.
That's the sun. Okay.

Speaker 2 Well, it's Brian and Astrid's sun. How's that?

Speaker 2 When it's shining on us, right in this moment, it's shining on us, kid. It's shining on us.

Speaker 2 All right. Everyone's settle down.
Everyone's settled down.

Speaker 2 I thought it was good. I thought it was a good one.

Speaker 2 It's it's it is good. When you're in love, you do lots of stupid shit.
Yeah. You buy shit.
It's like the encased rose, didn't you do that too? I did. I did the forever rose, which didn't last forever.

Speaker 2 it just magically disappeared one day and I was like where did that go

Speaker 2 I don't know

Speaker 2 okay but

Speaker 2 oh my god I did the forever rose I did the dozen whatever I did the gold rose I did I did a lot of like grand romantic gestures But the grandest of them all was

Speaker 2 getting married and giving her a bunch of children

Speaker 2 to irritate the shit out of her.

Speaker 2 You can't throw those away. Take that.

Speaker 2 How's that for a romantic gesture?

Speaker 2 These swimmers are strong, baby.

Speaker 2 Okay. All right.
May 31st.

Speaker 2 12 hours or 13 or 14. Who knows? There's going to be a lot of hours of TCB on May 31st.

Speaker 2 Celebrating five years of the commercial break we are doing 12 episodes at least in one day just for you so tune in and so many people have texted in and said can't wait to see if you guys survive if you're able to do it yeah if you're able to do it we'll do it we'll get it done i i believe in us we'll be tired box is a five hour interview that says we are going to yeah that's right we will be tired and it will not be easy But it's better than digging ditches for a living.

Speaker 2 So lots of people work 12 hours and they don't complain about it. I'm bringing wine.

Speaker 2 Okay, but you got to wait till like the ninth hour. Okay,

Speaker 2 I can't have you passing out hour number three.

Speaker 2 Uh,

Speaker 2 so anyway, May 31st, mark your calendars: 212-433-3 TCB, 212-433-3822.

Speaker 2 Text us or leave us a message, questions, comments, concerns, content ideas at thecommercial break on Instagram, TCB Podcast on TikTok, youtube.com/slash the commercial break, and tcbpodcast.com for all the audio, video, and your free TCB swag at the contact us button.

Speaker 2 Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for now. I think so.
I'll tell you that I love you. I love you.
Best you.

Speaker 2 Best you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy, and I will say, we do say, and we must say.
Goodbye.

Speaker 8 Don't let the holidays derail your fitness. Stay on track with Hydro.
20 minutes rowing on a hydro targets 86% of your muscles as Olympians guide you from incredible locations worldwide.

Speaker 8 Running can't compete. That's why 90% 90% stick with Hydro a year later.
GQ named the Hydro Arc the best rower of 2025. And every hydro comes with free shipping, a 30-day trial, and warranty.

Speaker 8 Go to hydro.com code fit and save up to 600 bucks on your next hydro. Hydro.com code fit.

Speaker 9 Hey, Ryan Reynolds here, wishing you a very happy half-off holiday because right now Mint Mobile is offering you the gift of 50% off unlimited.

Speaker 9 To be clear, that's half price, not half half the service. And Mint is still premium unlimited wireless for a great price.

Speaker 10 So that means a half day.

Speaker 9 Yeah? Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch.

Speaker 10 Upfront payment of $45 for a three-month plan equivalent to $15 per month required. New customer offer for first three months only.
Speed slow out to 35 gigabytes of networks busy.

Speaker 10 Taxes and fees extra. See Mintmobile.com.

Speaker 7 Ready to level up? Chumba Casino is your playbook to fun. It's free to play with no purchase necessary.
Enjoy hundreds of online social games like Blackjack, Slots, and Solitaire.

Speaker 7 Anytime, anywhere, with fresh fresh releases every week, whether you're at home or on the go. Let Chumba Casino bring the excitement to you.

Speaker 7 Plus, get free daily login bonuses and a free welcome bonus. Join now for your chance to redeem some serious prizes.
Play Chumba Casino today.

Speaker 7 No purchase necessary, VGW Group, Voidboard, Prohibited by Law 21 Plus, TNCs Apply.

Speaker 7 of the best I'm sure.

Speaker 7 I'm sorry.

Speaker 7 This is an Etsy holiday ad, but you won't hear any sleigh bells or classic carols. Instead, you'll hear something original.
The sound of an Etsy holiday, which sounds like this.

Speaker 7 Now that's special.

Speaker 2 Want to hear it again?

Speaker 7 Get original and affordable gifts from small shops on Etsy. For gifts that say, I get you, shop Etsy.
Tap the banner to shop now.