Friends Don't Let Friends Not Fight!

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Speaker 3 Hi, Astra, it's Vicky. I just finished dinner.
Also, I wanted to tell Brian, one of the gals that I sent with, has a computer, a laptop, I think, or something.

Speaker 3 Anyway, she wanted to know about, well, the girls have been wanting to know what's the name of this podcast.

Speaker 3 Well, she looked up under his name and found it, and not only did she find it, it said it's the number one podcast in your area or in your,

Speaker 3 I don't know, but it's the number one podcast. And they got to see a picture of Brian.
They thought he was just Darwin.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 so they're going to, tonight they have the ability to listen to podcasts. So they're going to listen to his podcast tonight.
I hope maybe this weekend you can come over here and visit.

Speaker 2 I love you very much, sweetheart. Talk to you soon.
Bye-bye.

Speaker 2 On this episode of the Commercial Break.

Speaker 2 The phone works both ways, bro. Like, you could, you know, we could talk to each other.
And he remembered us. We just went to the comedy show together.
We did, but that's not enough for him.

Speaker 2 He's like, he's like my extra wife. He's like a second wife.

Speaker 2 It's never enough from him. He needs more of my time than I am able to get.
He got a taste. He got a taste.
He wanted more. He got a little tasty Tina or Brian.

Speaker 2 And listen, when you get a tasty tea of these teaspags,

Speaker 2 you want the full dip. You know what I'm talking about? You want to go, you want a full-throated taste of Brian.

Speaker 2 Yes, that's right. And then 24 hours later, you're like, that guy's a real asshole.

Speaker 2 The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, Cats and Kittens. Welcome back to the Commercial Break.
I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley.
Best to you, Chris.

Speaker 2 Best of you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us on this 3,000th episode of the Commercial Break.
I really appreciate it.

Speaker 2 In case you haven't heard, I wanted to say it right at the top of the show and then I'll shut up until the next episode of the commercial break. 12 hours of TCB, May 31st.

Speaker 2 That's the Saturday market calendars, kids. Celebrities, fun and games.

Speaker 2 Probably Chrissy and I sleeping a little bit on air, or the opposite will be high on some kind of, you know, Colombian marching powder that keeps us going throughout the day. Or five-hour energy.

Speaker 2 We have plenty of that, Chrissy. Yes, we do.
I mean, I'm eyeing that five-hour energy right now. I'm like, well, it's not good for my heart, but, you know, you only live once.

Speaker 2 12 hours of TCB celebrating five years of the commercial five years.

Speaker 2 It's so hard to believe, it's hard to wrap your head around how long this has been going on. It feels in a lot of ways like yesterday, and in some ways, it feels very much not like yesterday.

Speaker 2 It feels like

Speaker 2 we've been doing this for a lot longer, all of our lives, yeah. Well, I mean, when you're this deep in, it's it is like all-consuming.
It's just as that's all I remember, is the commercial.

Speaker 2 I don't even remember which other jobs I had, if I'm being completely honest. It's so crazy, too, because starting in the pandemic, I mean, there's been so much that's happened.

Speaker 2 So much in such a short period of time. And it's been the longest five years of my life and the shortest five years of my life.
I've had multiple children. I mean, it's just like,

Speaker 2 we could go on and on and we will go on and on on the 12 hours of TCV.

Speaker 2 We'll have a lot to discuss. We'll be reviewing the five years of the commercial break, talking about some of our favorite segments, content, guests, and all that other stuff.

Speaker 2 Celebrity guests will be here, and we will do it all for a good cause, Chrissy, as we celebrate National Mental Health Awareness Month, which is May.

Speaker 2 And of course, just like us, we're waiting till the very last day of May to do it.

Speaker 2 In support with our good friends at Odyssey, Covert Creative, and CTB. So, more information to follow on all that, Jazz.

Speaker 2 I don't want to get you mucked up in the details. We're still a couple months away from that, but I thought I'd let you know because, you know, you're going to have to pack a lunch.

Speaker 2 This is going to be a long one. 12 episodes, 12 hours, one day.
We actually had to contact Apple and Spotify. We had to contact them and let them know that, no, that's not fake traffic.
That's just

Speaker 2 us being ridiculous.

Speaker 2 And they said, okay, this one time will allow you to do it, TCB. And we said, thank you, sir.
Thank you very much. I learned that.
Interestingly enough, I was thinking about you when I learned this.

Speaker 2 I was this many days old when I learned that friends who who roast each other

Speaker 2 tend to be friends for longer and tend to be more satisfied with their friendship. The strongest connections that we make are with the people who give us the hardest time, like roasting each other.

Speaker 2 And so it like made me think about that time that Brian Moses, who you barely remember, but I can kind of remember. I remember.
I remember the interview.

Speaker 2 Brian Moses invited us out to do the roast battle out in LA. He does it with Jeffree Ross and that whole ragtag group that's doing Kill Tony, which is now on Netflix.
Kill Tony is on Netflix.

Speaker 2 I did not know this. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Okay, I'll just

Speaker 2 leave it out there. Anyway, okay.

Speaker 2 It reminded me of that time that he invited us out there, and both of us, I think, were a little bit gun-shy. You were more gun-shy than I was.
I was like, it's okay. We'll go up there.

Speaker 2 He was offering us to, you know, he's like, just do three minutes. We'll give you coaches.
You guys can write these jokes. You can be in total control of which ones you do and which ones you don't do.

Speaker 2 And I thought to myself, we should revisit that because we are best friends. We are.
And maybe a little roasting is what this relationship needs. Just get it out in the open, spice it up a little bit.

Speaker 2 Either make us friends

Speaker 2 or come to a natural conclusion of the commercial break. A natural conclusion.
I know. One of the two.

Speaker 2 But I was thinking back on like all of my friendships, all the friendships I've had throughout the years. And I think it's true.

Speaker 2 I think the friends that I've had for the longest, sans you, because I think we have a little bit of a different relationship. We don't roast each other a whole bunch.

Speaker 2 I mean, we have fun here in the studio. Yeah, we rib.
We poke. Yeah, we rib.
But it's not, it's not a, I wouldn't call it like a serious roasting.

Speaker 2 We never like get under each other's skin or try and, you know, poke at our insecurities. Yeah, no busting balls.

Speaker 2 But I do, some of my other best friends that I've had or friends that are considered good friends, we really do give each other a hard time.

Speaker 2 I think about Raphael or my brothers or, you know, some people I've, that I'm maybe not as close with now, but back then. And they, they would just go at me.
And I

Speaker 2 hated it with every fiber of my being. Right.
But for some reason, it endured me to them. Like I liked the fact that they would roast me.
Let me give you an example.

Speaker 2 This weekend, there was a big party. So those who have listened to the commercial break know that I'm married to a Venezuelan woman.

Speaker 2 And how I met that Venezuelan woman was through my Venezuelan best friend and his incredibly large family.

Speaker 2 Now, this is the kind of family where you can be like 32 cousins removed, yet you are still part of the immediate family. Do you know what I'm talking about? I do.
And I admire that.

Speaker 2 Yeah, this seems to be big in the Hispanic culture that everyone is part of the family, no matter how distant the relation is.

Speaker 2 And when the siren song of a party goes across the wires, then everybody from many different countries, even other planets, I think, just zoom on in to come to this party because there's going to be free liquor, someone's going to cook food, and there's going to be dancing.

Speaker 2 So we better get there because, you know, that's the spice of life. General fun.
Yes, that's the thing that makes the world go round. And for Venezuelans, the party is life.
Life is a party.

Speaker 2 There is no other reason to exist except to get to the next party. It's a kind of culture, really.
I agree with you. I'm right there.

Speaker 2 And I, I, and as a teenager, that was like the opposite, as a teenager and in my early 20s, before I met Raphael, that was the opposite of what I experienced. I would, it, and I've said this before,

Speaker 2 in my family, my immediate family, my cousins, my uncles, my aunts, we have one very large family on my mom's side, yet it seemed like a race to get out the door as soon as you got in the door.

Speaker 2 Do you know what I'm saying? Like it was in the door, food was served immediately, people would say their goodbyes and gone. If it lasted an hour, that was a party.

Speaker 2 If it lasted two hours, people were getting fussy and antsy. If it lasted three hours, there was like a mutiny on the bow.
Like, where's the fucking, get me the fuck away from these people?

Speaker 2 But in the Venezuelan culture, which is the one I know the best, and I think this is true of a lot of Hispanic cultures and European cultures, quite frankly,

Speaker 2 like Spain and stuff like that, it seems like the opposite. Everyone just, they want to stay as long as they can.
They want to do as much as they can.

Speaker 2 So over the weekend, there's like the first big get-together for one of the family members.

Speaker 2 Oh my God, 100th. 100.
And she looked great. Her name is Tacha, or that's what we call her, Tacha.
And she was not even a family member.

Speaker 2 She is the woman who raised the great-grandparent, the grandparent, the parent, and then Raphael. Oh, my God.

Speaker 4 Wow.

Speaker 2 What a celebration. What a celebration.
And she looked fantastic. They had her sitting in a chair, like when you walked into this clubhouse with a bunch of balloons and like a whole thing.

Speaker 2 And then two photographers were taking pictures. Everyone who came in got a picture with her.
It was just like a beautiful event. I love that.
Everyone was there.

Speaker 2 Five years old, because I don't think we've all gotten together. Like everyone has gotten together since the pandemic.
Some people have, but we haven't seen a lot of those people since the pandemic.

Speaker 2 And it was just beautiful. 100, I don't know, 20 people there.
Everybody who's anybody who ever talked to these people is invited. And it's just this huge party.
Room is filled.

Speaker 2 And Raphael, my best friend, is there, giving me a hard time, as he always does, about everything. Yeah, bro, we don't see you anymore.
It's like, you know, you don't even love us anymore.

Speaker 2 He's just like ribbing me the whole time, and I'm annoyed. And I'm like, Raphael, shut the fuck.
Like,

Speaker 2 the phone works both ways, bro. Like, you could, you know, we could talk to each other.
And he remembers. We just went to the comedy show together.
We did, but that's not enough for him.

Speaker 2 He's like, he's like my extra wife. He's like a second wife.
He is. It's never enough from him.
He needs more of my time than I am able to keep. He got a taste.
He got a taste. He wanted more.

Speaker 2 He got a little tasty Tina or Brian. And listen, when you get a tasty tea of these teaspags,

Speaker 2 you want the full dip. You know what I'm talking about? You want to go, you want a full-throated taste of Brian.
I want the DDT.

Speaker 2 That's right. And then 24 hours later, you're like, that guy's a real asshole.

Speaker 2 I realize now we haven't seen him in five years. But him and I were shooting the shit and we were just like, you know,

Speaker 2 hey, man, I love you. It's so good to see you.
You know, I just, we need to spend more time together, which is true. All of this is true.
I'm not, he's right.

Speaker 2 I have a a million children and it's really hard to find time, but I need to find time because that is

Speaker 2 the fruit of the tree is your friendships and the people that you love. And I need to, and now the kids are old enough, or some of them are old enough that I can break away for a few minutes.

Speaker 2 I need to do more of that. And he goes, but you're just such an asshole.
Like, you're such an asshole. And man, I hate you sometimes.
He's like, I still think you should have kicked that guy's ass.

Speaker 2 And I remember, and as soon as he said that, I get so fucking irritated because I remember the exact thing that he's talking about. The exact ass.
The exact ass that he wanted me to kill.

Speaker 2 That's right. I remember the exact ass in the exact moment that he's talking about.
Let me explain.

Speaker 2 We're working at the Restrade, the Italian Territoria, where you send some soft shell crabs and some dried bread.

Speaker 2 Piante Classico. That's how we met.
That's where we met. What?

Speaker 2 That's where we met.

Speaker 2 There's too many stories to tell, but I won't get into it. If you remember, he became the general manager of the, there was two of these locations.

Speaker 2 And the one that I worked at, he came from the other location to be the manager. And the very first night that we met, he wasn't there to manage.

Speaker 2 He was there to just sit at the bar and kind of observe things.

Speaker 2 Well, we both got incredibly drunk, headed to the bar across the street, closed that out, then walked to his grandparents' house where Tatcho was waiting to make us food. Right, right, right.

Speaker 2 She like got up and started cooking empanadas. And I'm like, what? That was that night.
Yes. And then he tried to get me in his bed.
And remember?

Speaker 2 Yes, I remember the story, but I thought you guys had already been friends. I didn't really know.
No, this is the very first night we met. Rafa has suggested that we sleep in the same bed together.

Speaker 2 And as an Irish white guy with a lot of Catholic guilt and some feelings around that, I was like, no, no, no, no, no. You got the wrong guy, mister.
I'll see you later. So I'm out with

Speaker 2 his grandparents' portable phone outside of this townhouse calling for a cab at 4:30 in the morning. Anyway,

Speaker 2 fast forward a year later, and we've been working together for a a long time and now we're best friends. And there is a guy named Eric that works at the restaurant.
Eric is a noted crackhead.

Speaker 2 And when I say noted crackhead, I don't mean that like as

Speaker 2 a put-down. I mean that literally he is a crackhead.
He smokes crack and he's been known to do it at work. The guy is a fantastic waiter.
Fantastic. Maybe the best in the entire place.

Speaker 2 Nothing like a little cracker. Yes, because he is like sonic.

Speaker 2 He's light on his feet. He's zipping all over the place.
He can handle a million tables. He talks to everybody.
He's sweating

Speaker 2 profusely all over your food, but he's really good at what he does. And everybody knew it.
So therefore, they tolerated the other behaviors. But at some point, Eric and I got on the wrong foot.

Speaker 2 He owed me $100. I don't know.
I gave him $100 to go get drugs. He never came back with it.
Something happened. And this turned into an entire restaurant ordeal.
Do you know what I'm talking about?

Speaker 2 Yes, yes. Like we gave him money to go get something.
He never showed back up with it, then claimed that he got robbed, or whatever the deal was. Like real crackhead type shit, right?

Speaker 2 Like real crackhead type story. Eric was all of a sudden persona non grata,

Speaker 2 but we saw him pull up with his wife at the time into the bar directly across the street. And we had been looking for him.
Where are you with our $100?

Speaker 2 Where are you? This is the same night.

Speaker 2 The same night he left. He had gotten off like in the afternoon shit.
Yeah, Yeah, yeah. And we said, All right, bro, set us up for the, you know, hook us up for the night time.

Speaker 2 We're going to have a big party here at La Strada once it closes down,

Speaker 2 which happened a lot, by the way. We would lock the doors, and multiple times the police officers were like in the parking lot, like with the flashlights, looking in.

Speaker 2 And we were like, nothing to see here. We wouldn't open the doors.
We'd be like, we're fine. Everything's okay.
There's hostages in here. Don't worry about it.

Speaker 2 So he took our money.

Speaker 2 And I was like the guy in charge for whatever reason of this particular situation and raphael got me all worked up and he said you gotta kick this guy's ass man there's only one way to teach a crackhead how to you know there's only one way to teach a lesson to a crackhead and that's a fucking kick his ass kick his ass brian go get him get him get let's walk across the street let's get him

Speaker 2 i can't I picture and there were other employees that went over there and they got Eric all riled up so now it's like it's literally a scene out of the west side story When you're a jet, you're a jet all the way from your first cracky pipe to your sniff all the day.

Speaker 2 Like, it's like, it's crackhead west side story.

Speaker 2 And so at some point, the game is on. We've been at the restaurant as long as we can be at the restaurant.
I don't know what to do. I'm not a fighter.
I never have been.

Speaker 2 I'm not saying I can't picture that. No, I've been in a few scraps.
A couple I've won. Most I've lost.
It's not my thing.

Speaker 2 You know, I think I can, I have defended myself in certain situations, but I am not the guy to swing first. I have never been the guy to swing first.

Speaker 2 So we go over there, and I were walking across the street, and Eric comes out with his team, and I got my team. And it's like seriously a gang war in front of this suburban dive bar.

Speaker 2 How did he even have a team? Because he's in the wrong here. But he rallied some troops.
How does

Speaker 2 are you alive in 2025? People have teams regardless if they're right right or wrong. It does matter.
This is true. Good point.

Speaker 2 Shitheads, people like shitheads too. For some reason,

Speaker 2 they vote for the troll. I don't know why.
Who knows? And when I say team, he's got like his, you know, four or five people and I got my four or five people.

Speaker 2 And we're over there and everyone is charged up. And we meet in the parking lot and I'm like, and Raphael's behind me.
He's like, fucking kick your ass, man. Fucking get him, dude.
Swing first.

Speaker 2 You got to go right for his head. Swing first.
Get him. Get him.
Get that $100 back. Get the $100.

Speaker 2 And we're all, and by the way, everyone's lambasted. We're all fucking shit.
I'm a fucking picture. Yes.
It's like two in the morning.

Speaker 2 So we get over there. We're out in the parking lot.
I will never forget this. And I say, where's our fucking money, Eric?

Speaker 2 And he goes, I don't know. I got robbed.
And that's how it is. And you're not fucking getting $100 because I don't have it.

Speaker 2 And I said, well, if you don't give us our $100 back or our product right now, I'm going to kick your fucking ass.

Speaker 2 And he pulled out a knife and I ran.

Speaker 2 And I ran. I headed for the hills.
I ran across the street back to the bar.

Speaker 2 Raphael's like, what are you doing? What are you doing? You got to kick his ass. And I'm like, I'm not going to kick his ass.
He's got a knife. And he's like, don't worry about the knife.

Speaker 2 Fucking grab the knife out of his hand. I've got your back.
And I'm like, then you hit him. And he's like, I don't want to hit him.
Everyone's yelling and screaming at each other.

Speaker 2 So now I'm the big asshole because I decided not to fight the guy with the knife. And Raphael has relentlessly bullied me about this since the night that it happened.

Speaker 2 You should have kicked Eric's ass. You should have kicked that guy's ass.
Relentlessly bullied me about it. And you know what? I think he's right.

Speaker 2 I think even though that guy had a knife, I think I should have found a way to kick his ass. Because Eric continued to be an asshole and continued to be a crackhead and scam people's money.

Speaker 2 Now, crackhead's a crackhead. They're going to take your money.
I should have learned that lesson a long time ago.

Speaker 2 But at the end of the day, like, I kind of pussied out in the whole situation. Not only did I not fight him, but I ran away from him.
Like, I ran across the street away from him.

Speaker 2 So, big Irish tough guy decided to run. Now, in the moment, I think I felt my life was threatened.
He had a knife. It wasn't a particularly big knife, but it was a knife.

Speaker 2 Yeah, those things can be really sharp. Of course.
Ones where you click them.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
It was like one of those, it was a flip one, right? It was like a flip. It was like a small hunting knife, right? Yes, those things are sharp.

Speaker 2 Yeah, or like a bread knife for, you know, the bread.

Speaker 2 I don't know what it was for, but I saw the silver and I headed out. And Raphael has busted my balls ever since about this.
Ever since. They're not a probably

Speaker 2 two conversations that go by when and if Raphael's at least three beers in him, he's going to mention that I should have kicked Eric's ass.

Speaker 2 He has relentlessly bullied me about this forever and ever. He wrote to me about it all the time.
And he's probably right.

Speaker 2 And because he's probably right, and because I like the good nature of the rib, I love him. I love him because I'm a pussy and I didn't, you know, kick Eric's ass.

Speaker 2 And so, at the end of the day, a little good hard love every once in a while, a little good, tough love where people are poking at you and they're telling you the truth in a way that feels funny or satirical or sarcastic, I think it makes for good times.

Speaker 2 That's what I got to say. I think this article that I read is so fucking true.

Speaker 2 Is that if you can get with your buddies and you guys can tell each other like it is, but have a little laugh at the same time, you're going to be friends for a long time.

Speaker 2 Well, I'm willing to revisit it. Revisit it, Chrissy.
I will. I will look into it.

Speaker 2 I'm going to have to scan. You should have gone to the roast, Chrissy.
You should have gone to the roast.

Speaker 2 I'm going to have to scan my memories now for any kind of roast material well so there was never a fight situation with no there's no i'm oh trust me i'm sure you have a lot of roast material i'm sure it's in your brain somewhere there's you know we're not friends for this long and there's not at least 10 things on your list where you're like what a fucking dick

Speaker 2 what a fucking dick

Speaker 2 but I'm not suggesting that you roast me. I'm just sharing this, you know.
This little stack. Yeah, this little thing.
And, you know, if you want to, we can take some LSD and I can fuck with you.

Speaker 2 That was the other thing that that a lot of my friends did. We've taken plenty of drugs together.
We have. That's true.
We have. But never LSD.
Never LSD or Iowa.

Speaker 2 I mean, Ayahuasca put in a different category of things to do. That's not like, you know, haha giggles on a Friday night.
That's what. No, that's not.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's like, get the therapist involved kind of thing. I want to know how my friend did on the

Speaker 2 hero. I was wondering that.
I sent you a message. She called me.
She called me over the weekend, as she often does.

Speaker 2 She'll call me on the weekend when she's driving up, you you know, outside the perimeter to do something. She'll call and check in and tell me how funny the show is.

Speaker 2 That's why I answer the phone because she always says how funny our show is. And that makes me a tickle of my pickle.
So, um, but I'll get an update and I'll let you know how the hero

Speaker 2 went. But anyway, I love you.
We should have done the roast. I should have kicked that guy's ass.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 I love you too. Yeah.
Okay. We'll be back with more shenanigans.

Speaker 4 Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on TCB. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue.

Speaker 4 Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears, and I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail.

Speaker 4 Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the contact us page.

Speaker 4 You can also find the entire commercial break library, audio and video, just in case you want to look at Chrissy, at tcbpodcast.com. Want your voice to be on an episode of the show?

Speaker 4 Leave us a message at 212-433-3

Speaker 4 That's 212-433-3822. Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode.
Or you can make fun of us. That'd be fine too.
We might not air that, but maybe.

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We'll respond.

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Speaker 2 Okay, I have a question for the listeners out there, and I know I'll probably get a lot of feedback about this.

Speaker 2 True or not true statement I'm about to make, everybody in your particular town has all of a sudden become a student driver.

Speaker 2 Oh my God. Yeah, this was something we were talking about.
It's crazy. It is literally

Speaker 2 insane. And I feel like it just kind of popped up over the past maybe year

Speaker 2 where I've really started to notice that it is like every other car says student driver on it. And a lot of times it's just this lone person.
It's a lone person. Driving in the old woman.
Yes.

Speaker 2 Or single human. Yes.
Or clearly someone who should have been driving most of their life.

Speaker 2 Yeah, because back before when you saw those, I mean, it was literally, you thought somebody was like in training. You know, there would be maybe two people in the car.

Speaker 2 It's a parent or it's an instructor

Speaker 2 of some kind. Exactly.
And now not.

Speaker 2 It would say like, you know, Appa to

Speaker 2 driving school on the side of the car. There'd be a big yellow sign on top of it.

Speaker 2 You'd know clearly that this, sometimes even two extra like, you know, red lights sitting on the back of the car, like hooked up through the, you know, you know, the crappy Civic with the two extra lights, the guy's making extra money on the weekend teaching driving or whatever.

Speaker 2 It used to be clearly identified, but now, at least where we live in Atlanta, we've talked about this with a lot of people.

Speaker 2 It appears that every fourth car is now a student driver because they are putting bumper stickers on the back of their car that either say, please be patient, learning to drive, or student driver in a big yellow bumper sticker that they have attached to their car, a magnet, whatever.

Speaker 2 What's the name of a band that we don't know about?

Speaker 2 You know what? I thought about that. I know, you might be right.
I thought about that and I looked it up and I don't don't see there is a band named Student Driver, but they don't seem to be like,

Speaker 2 they don't seem to be

Speaker 2 so popular. You have to be Taylor Swift level to get that kind of attention on the back of a car.
I mean, every

Speaker 2 fucking fourth car, it says Student Driver. So now I did a little informal experiment, a little control and a little, you know, a little control and a little, what do you call it? Test.
Test.

Speaker 2 Test skirt.

Speaker 2 I drove both to both schools that my children go to, and that happens one hour after the other, one at eight, one at nine.

Speaker 2 And I drove them to school, and I would say it's a five-mile round trip to each school. So we're talking about 10 total miles that I'm driving.

Speaker 2 And I saw seven, seven student driver stickers on the back of cars. That is an insane amount of cars to see.
And I'm driving like side streets, not highways.

Speaker 2 So I'm getting stuck behind cars or see cars at a stoplight or whatever that have student driver on the back of them.

Speaker 2 Just because you're a poor fucking driver does not mean you get the right to put student driver on the back of your car. What that does mean is you should take lessons.

Speaker 2 But if you've been driving for more than a year, you are no longer a student driver, and I don't want you to use that student driver sticker because it gives inappropriate attention to your piss poor driving.

Speaker 2 And if you think for one second that I'm going to excuse you because you put a sticker on the back of your car and you're driving 22 miles per hour in a 45 mile per hour lane. No, Sariba.

Speaker 2 Enough.

Speaker 2 We all are going around lying to each other, pretending that shit is one way when it really isn't, so that we can get the empathy or sympathy of others on the road when the fact is you shouldn't have a license in the first place because you don't know how to drive.

Speaker 2 I think this might be our new sticker. Student

Speaker 2 TCB.

Speaker 2 Student driver. F you, student driver.
F you.

Speaker 2 That's what I'm going to put. F you, student driver.
This is a trend that has taken hold and I don't get it because

Speaker 2 I don't know. But when I was a student driver, like when I had my learning, learner's permit, I think I knew a collective three other human beings who had their learner's permit.

Speaker 2 It's impossible that every fourth car on the road has their learner's permit or is within the first year of driving. Here's the thing.
So I'm, and this is what really got me set off.

Speaker 2 This is a couple of months ago. I've been waiting to talk about this for a while.
Well, also, it was like embarrassing to see it.

Speaker 2 Like, I mean, I was a student driver at some point, but I was not putting that on the car, and neither were my parents. Fuck no.

Speaker 2 I mean, I think my dad probably would have wanted to do it, but two things. He was way too precious about his vehicle to be putting a sticker on the back of the car.

Speaker 2 Bumper stickers were a no-no in my house and continue to be a no-no in my house. Like my kids always want to put a sticker, you know, and I'm like, Do you know how fucking trashy?

Speaker 2 I mean, do you know how trashy that is? And then people send us pictures with their TCB sticker on that.

Speaker 2 TCB is okay.

Speaker 2 No, and so

Speaker 2 I,

Speaker 2 a couple of months ago, I'm driving here in the back roads north of Atlanta.

Speaker 2 And, you know, I've gotten really a lot better about my road. I know it's called road rage.
I call it road irritation, about my road irritation.

Speaker 2 That's good to know because there was some, I could roast you about that. Yeah.
Well, and I'll take it because it's true. But I slow down.

Speaker 2 I give people some space and some grace and understand that they just might be going through something.

Speaker 2 However, if I see someone that is purposefully driving like an idiot, like they're on their phone FaceTiming somebody, that's a whole different animal altogether. Yeah, that's dangerous.
So

Speaker 2 I am driving in the back roads and I'm on my way to Starbucks. I'm driving in the back roads and there is a person.
in a very nice BMW, like brand new BMW. These are like $80,000, $90,000 cars.

Speaker 2 Big old student driver on the back. So I'm already irritated.
I'm already irritated that anybody would give a student driver a $90,000 car. That's a dumb thing to do.

Speaker 2 I don't care how much money you have to throw in the trash. I don't care if you're Elon fucking Musk.
You give a clunker to a student driver. Yes, that's the best course of action.

Speaker 2 Until they learn how to drive or until they deserve to have a $90,000 car.

Speaker 2 Giving your 16-year-old kid or 17-year-old kid or 18-year-old kid or any kid a $90,000 car is a clear indication that your head is screwed on improperly. I'm just sharing that with you right now.

Speaker 2 So I'm behind this car and they are going 22 miles per hour in a 45.

Speaker 2 And so now I, for about a mile, I'm like, okay, all right, Brian. Let's beat it up here.
Give them 100 feet, chill out, you know.

Speaker 2 But, you know, I start to get a little twitchy at like mile number 1.5 because now I'm now there's a line of cars behind me. And there's a guy behind me who's Brian Green number two.

Speaker 2 He's like, you know,

Speaker 2 he's swerving to the left, swerving to the right, right up on my ass. And I'm like, hey, bro, don't get on me.

Speaker 2 Look at the car in front. And I'm not getting any closer because I don't know what's going on there.
But I start to edge a little closer.

Speaker 2 And as I edge a little closer, I can see through the back window that they have one of those suction cups holders on their thing.

Speaker 2 And I can see that there is a video playing on the phone, a video or a FaceTime call. And I'm like, oh, you got to be kidding me.

Speaker 2 You got to be kidding me that this person is watching a video or making a FaceTime call while not paying attention to anything that's going on. And by the way,

Speaker 2 she, who I learned later is a she, she is kind of swerving around, like almost hits a mailbox over on the other side of the road, hitting the brake.

Speaker 2 You know, the people that drive with two feet? Yes. My mom drives with two feet and it drives me crazy.
She drives with two feet. She hits the brake and the accelerator at the exact same time.

Speaker 2 And the car doesn't go anywhere. Yeah.
It's bad. My screen.
It's terrible. My grandfather used to do that.
I know. And my mom claims that's how she learned to drive.

Speaker 2 And I'm like, no one in their right mind would teach you how to drive like that, mom. That's crazy.
I knew your father. He was an FBI.
Like, this guy did not drive like that. I'm sure of it.
So.

Speaker 2 I get stuck for like four and a half miles.

Speaker 2 She's taking every turn I need to take.

Speaker 2 She's driving every place I need to drive. And wouldn't you fucking know it? She pulls into the Starbucks.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 I cannot, I don't have time to go into the Starbucks. I'm going to, one of the few times I'm going to run through the drive-through.
So I go behind her in the drive-thru.

Speaker 2 And now she's got her window rolled down. And I can see through her rearview mirror that she is, in fact, on a FaceTime call or a video call.
I don't know which one it is, but she's on a video call.

Speaker 2 She,

Speaker 2 it's a huge line at Starbucks for the drive-through. And as people are pulling up, she's not pulling up.
It's taking her like minutes to realize that people are moving.

Speaker 2 And so I just give her a little love. What did you say? The haul.

Speaker 2 And she goes like this, like, like waves me off through her window. Wow.
And I was like, oh,

Speaker 2 oh, no, no, no, no, no. She's at the

Speaker 2 now. I'm full on road rage.
Now it's, now I'm pissed. I'm like, okay, lady, all right.
She gets up to the speaker. She's taking her dear, sweet time.
She's asking the person on the phone.

Speaker 2 I can hear this all going on. She's asking the person on the phone what they want.
She's ordering 10 different coffees, 30 different ways, whatever. So we get out, and she pulls up and she pays.

Speaker 2 And this whole thing takes like 15 minutes. It's like incredibly frustrating.
I should have gone in because now I'm like late anyway. Right.

Speaker 2 She pulls to the end of the drive-through to the stop sign to get out of the parking lot and she stops at the stop sign.

Speaker 2 There's two people, only two cars can fit in that entrance, one going in and one going out.

Speaker 2 And she stops and she picks up her phone. And now she's texting or writing an email on her phone and she's not going.
And so I sit there for a minute and I give her a little love tag.

Speaker 2 And she goes, she waves me off again.

Speaker 2 And I open the window and I go, you got to go. I can't fit around you.
And she waves me off a third time. And now there's a guy behind me.
And he's he's like,

Speaker 2 This guy's really pissed, and you know what she does? She puts on her blinkers and she goes-like her hazard, yes, like her hazard, and goes swerve around.

Speaker 2 Well, there's a guy behind me, I'm behind her, and now there's a person in the drive-thru, so none of us can go because she's sitting there. So, now I'm like, So now I'm like, Yeah, I'm going to

Speaker 2 I'm just laying on the horn, and then I stop and I go, we cannot get around you. Pull into the parking lot.
And she goes, go around me.

Speaker 2 I'm busy.

Speaker 2 So I literally am stuck. I cannot go backwards.
I cannot go forwards. Now there's a traffic jam.
So I get out of my car because now I'm like, I'm going to have to explain to this lady.

Speaker 2 And I hope that she doesn't shoot me. I'm going to have to explain to this lady.
So I go up to her and I go, first of all, this is a 45-year-old woman with a $90,000 car.

Speaker 2 She is most definitely not a student driver. And I go, ma'am,

Speaker 2 I can't get around you. He can't get around me.
Now everyone's backed up in the drive-thru waiting for you. And she's like, I'm parked.
I'm writing an email.

Speaker 2 And I go, there are parking spaces that you can do this. I'm parked and writing an email.
And she goes, I can park right here if I want to. I go, you're at a stop sign.

Speaker 2 You have to move so everyone else can get around you. This is insane.
Right. And I'm like, you have to move.
And she's like, I don't have to do anything. Don't you see the sign on the back of the car?

Speaker 2 I'm learning how to drive. I was wondering if she was going to reference that.
She says that. And I go, you should learn harder, ma'am.
It's not working. You have to move.

Speaker 2 Well, now everybody's laying on the horn. There's like four people that are laying on the horn.
And then as I start to walk away, she goes, fine, goddamn it. I'll move.

Speaker 2 No one has patience in this town. Patience for what?

Speaker 2 The whole world has to stop revolving because you have to write an email or because you put a fucking sticker on your car that says student driver so that you can make FaceTime calls and write emails while you're driving.

Speaker 2 That's completely inconsiderate of everybody else around you. I showed you Grace on the road, but I'm going to get out of the car and explain to you that this is just not how life works.
Right.

Speaker 2 And I did it as nicely as I could. I didn't cuss at her.
I didn't say anything terrible. I just said, you ought to learn.
You need to learn harder because it's not working. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You don't know how to drive. You cannot stop and put your blinkers on and a busy stop sign and an entrance to a Starbucks.
That's just a ridiculous notion.

Speaker 2 Don't you see the sign on the back of my car?

Speaker 2 This is what got me charged up and started making me pay attention. And now I see them everywhere.
They are everywhere. I'm done with it.
Now everybody is that lady.

Speaker 2 Everybody with a student driver sign is that lady to me. I'm like, God damn it, fucking motherfucker.

Speaker 2 I had almost cured my road rage until the sign started going on the back of the car. Well, there was a need to rage.

Speaker 2 This was an appropriate reason

Speaker 2 to get upset because, you know, warranted rage.

Speaker 2 It's one thing to be a bad driver. There are lots of those out there in the world.
Yeah. They're bad drivers.
And that's where I've learned grace.

Speaker 2 I've learned grace that not everybody has the fine motor skills and sharp, keen sense of

Speaker 2 spatial awareness that I do. Not everybody is evil can evil on the roads, right? No, I understand that.
I got it. Okay.

Speaker 2 I didn't understand it. Now I understand it.
Not everybody's going to drive exactly like I am.

Speaker 2 But when you're just a fucking idiot and you're just being inconsiderate of everybody else around you, then you deserve the honks and the and the people getting upset at you.

Speaker 2 And when you, here's a little piece of advice for anybody out there that's a bad driver or that's an inconsiderate driver.

Speaker 2 And because I know there's got to be, the numbers are against us here, Chrissy. There's got to be lots of bad drivers in our our diamond.
Yes. Here's a piece of advice.

Speaker 2 If you, and you're probably aware that you're a bad driver, too. It's probably something people have been roasting you about for a long time.

Speaker 2 If you see, if you're like driving down a two-lane road and it's one of those back roads, 35, 45 miles per hour in your local neighborhood or wherever it is you choose to drive or you're you live, and you see that there are more than three cars behind you, like compactly lined up behind you, it's an indication you're going too slow.

Speaker 2 Speed up a little bit. At least go the speed limit.
At least go the speed limit. That's right.

Speaker 2 If you're in the line at the Starbucks, pay attention when people are moving up so the people behind you can also get their drinks in a speedy fashion.

Speaker 2 If you're making FaceTime phone calls while you are moving a two and a half ton vehicle down the road at 50 miles per hour, you're a fucking mora. Don't do that.
Stop it. Stop it.

Speaker 2 It's the biggest lesson I've learned since I've had children is that it is almost never appropriate to be typing on a phone, looking at a phone, or using a phone unless it's hands-free when you're driving a motor vehicle.

Speaker 2 Because one mistake, one moment of dumb-dumbness, and other people get hurt or worse because

Speaker 2 distracted driving. It's terrible.
I've even gotten to the point, Christine, I'm so proud of myself about this. And we take family road trips and I get tired.

Speaker 2 I no longer take little catnaps while I'm driving. I pull over.

Speaker 2 Oh, true. I I used to do it.
You used to catnap? Well, with my eyes open, like I would go into that weird space. Like hypnosis.

Speaker 2 Yes, the hypnosis where like you're fighting your eyelids and your brain is totally shut off, but you've got cruise control on and you're just like,

Speaker 2 I told you one time I was driving in Charleston. I think my friend saw me fall asleep while I was driving.
And he was like,

Speaker 2 his mouth open. He's like, dude,

Speaker 2 you just

Speaker 2 your eyes were fully closed for like a minute. And I was like, whoa, yeah, you need to pull over.

Speaker 2 But I'm proud of myself because I've taken some more, like, I take this a little bit more seriously than I used to now that there are children. But also, let's not make excuses for bad driving.

Speaker 2 You're a bad driver. We can all live with it.
If you're doing your best, we can live with it. Don't put a dumb sticker on the back of your car if you're just an inconsiderate asshole.
Okay.

Speaker 2 You should have kicked his ass. I should have kicked her ass, Chrissy.
Should have kicked her ass.

Speaker 2 All right, that's my rant about student driving. Oh, it is true, they're everywhere.
They are everywhere.

Speaker 2 And I'd like to know if they're everywhere where you're living or if this is just an Atlanta thing. If it's like,

Speaker 2 I don't know, that measles outbreak in Texas, we've all caught it all of a sudden. I'd like to know.
Let me know. Let me know if there's an outbreak of student drivers in your town.

Speaker 2 All right, we'll be back.

Speaker 2 Let me do something Brian has never done. Be brief.

Speaker 4 Follow us on Instagram at the Commercial Break. Text or call us 212-433-3TCB.
That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website, tcbpodcast.com, for all the audio, video, and your free sticker.

Speaker 4 Then watch all the videos at youtube.com/slash thecommercial break. And finally, share the show.
It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian?

Speaker 2 That really wasn't that difficult now, was it? You're welcome.

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Speaker 2 There is a film at the Sundance Film Festival, I think think it is, and I am so excited to see. It's a film about a man named Thomas Kinkade.

Speaker 2 You know the painter, Thomas Kincaid? Okay.

Speaker 2 For those of you that don't know, Thomas Kinkade was the mainstreamest, I don't even know what that's a word, but the most mainstream painter that has ever lived. He has sold more paintings.

Speaker 2 He has made more money than God, quite frankly. He has a

Speaker 2 huge company that still exists today that would sell

Speaker 2 originals and recreations. Yeah, they were mostly like beautiful

Speaker 2 strings.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and like nature stuff. A lot of nature stuff.
He called himself the Lord of Light or the God of Light or the Painter of Light or something like that. The God of Light.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think it was the Lord of Light. It was a really weird name.
He was like kind of an unassuming Midwestern man.

Speaker 2 I think he was actually born in the South, but he kind of had this Midwestern feel to him.

Speaker 2 He would wear like the short-sleeve white shirt, little pudgy, short-sleeve white shirts with a tie, crop cut, mustache. You know, you know, the kind.
Like the kind, like

Speaker 2 a dad, any dad in Chicago in the mid-80s, that's what he looked like. A little portly, you know, just a must, whatever.
You get it. Look up Thomas Kincaid.
You'll see pictures of him.

Speaker 2 He rose to prominence really in the 70s, 80s, and 90s because he was painting what I would consider pretty good paintings. I mean, he certainly had a talent.

Speaker 2 No doubt about it. And he would play with the light.
Like, you know, yeah, imagine like a house

Speaker 2 nestled in the mountains with lush greenery and the stream around it. And then the sun was setting.
So he would paint the shadows. And people fell in love with his paintings.

Speaker 2 I remember them being big, too. You could buy them big, small, any size.
I mean, prints, you could buy it any size, but he made them big. Yeah, they were like, you know, four feet by four feet.

Speaker 2 He really took the

Speaker 2 mainstream art fan world by storm.

Speaker 2 When I mean mainstream, I mean your mom and your dad, your grandma and your grandpa, your aunt and your uncle, who don't know shit about art, but they would love to put those paintings in their house.

Speaker 2 And millions and millions and millions of people fiended over these paintings. Yeah, they were available in like Michael's and maybe Pier Ones.
And he had his own stores. He had his own stores,

Speaker 2 the Thomas Kincaid stores in malls, and they would sell his paintings for $15,000, $20,000, $30,000, $40,000 for originals, millions of dollars sometimes for rare original works, and then they would print them endlessly.

Speaker 2 You would get them in different sizes, and they would be hundreds of dollars, or maybe even $50 for a small one.

Speaker 2 This went on for a long time, and he traveled the world, and he would paint in front of people. There was no doubt he was actually painting these.
He had a relationship with Disney.

Speaker 2 He made a lot of paintings around Disney princesses and characters, Harry Potter. He did a lot.
And he made relationships with big corporations, and then they made money on the backs of his paintings.

Speaker 2 And he just endlessly painted all of this stuff and endlessly sold them and made money, unlike most artists who create one, and then those originals get sold for many millions of dollars over time, right?

Speaker 2 Usually the artist is long gone before they even become valuable. Exactly.
Right.

Speaker 2 And the art world is a fine art world, is a very lucrative, valuable world where billions of dollars are spent every year acquiring these rare pieces of art. Thomas Kecade is not that.

Speaker 2 Even though his paintings went for a lot of money, he was not a rare artist. Yeah, he was very commercial.
Very,

Speaker 2 the most commercial artist that ever lived. And he had a very pristine image.
His image was that of a man of God, a man of the people, a man who did

Speaker 2 God of Lord of Light.

Speaker 2 Lord of light.

Speaker 2 Hey, girl.

Speaker 2 Hey, girl. Lord of light over here.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I got a flashlight. I want you to see.

Speaker 2 And he would tour around and he would, people would stand in lines and they would go crazy. I mean, this guy became a phenomenon.

Speaker 2 And he had this whole image that he presented as a family man, as a man of the word, as really kind of an everyman.

Speaker 2 And he just happened to have this talent and he sold all these paintings and people would collect them. And there is now a new documentary about this guy.

Speaker 2 Years ago, when I first read, saw like an hour special on Thomas Kincaid, I don't know what it was on, ANE. This is many years ago, actually.

Speaker 2 When I first saw a special on him, they kind of gave the indication that Thomas may or may not have been all he was cracked up to be.

Speaker 2 In other words, there were people who said that Thomas was not this godly character, but there was always rumors of this.

Speaker 2 And anytime you're that big and famous, there's always going to be someone who's creating a rumor about you.

Speaker 2 But I started to think about something about Thomas Kincaid way back then, probably because I was high as shit on bad weed.

Speaker 2 When they would do little snippets, and they dedicated like three minutes of this hour-long special to the people who said, you know, oh, well, I think Thomas, you know, you know, he's got a sordid past or whatever.

Speaker 2 Or another side to him. Another side to him, right?

Speaker 2 When they, for some reason, I got it stuck in my head that what if this guy is really just a, like, kind of a performance artist, like an Andy Kaufman type, and he's making it all up and he's really just a Koch fiend on the, you know, he's a weird dude that just is like the joke's on us.

Speaker 2 And it turns out the joke's on us. Really? And this new documentary shines more light on the jokes on us because apparently he was a coke fiend stripper hound on his days off.

Speaker 2 And he was, in his younger years, kind of a wild child. This is what the trailer indicates.
So this is why I'm excited to see see this movie. I need to watch that.

Speaker 2 For a year, because I kind of took this keen interest in this one particular hour-long special that I watched, and I knew someone who was a big Thomas Kincaid collector bought into the whole thing.

Speaker 2 A neighbor that I had in Chicago had a lot of these paintings. Yeah, there was a business that I worked at in college.

Speaker 2 They had, it was owned by this wealthy family, and they had all of these Thomas Kincaid huge originals. Oh, really? Around the thawn.
Very interesting. Okay.

Speaker 2 So I lived next door to someone or down the street from someone who essentially had the same thing in their house and they adored these things. They were like precious.

Speaker 2 They would show them to us and tell us the story about how they got them or what it means or how this, who this guy is, and, you know, the word of the Lord and all this other stuff.

Speaker 2 So the word of the Lord. The word of the Lord.
Yes.

Speaker 2 I hate when people say that. The word of the Lord.
Like you heard them heard him say anything. All right.
Okay.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 there had been rumors, I read a number of years ago, that Thomas Kincaid

Speaker 2 was actually a really fantastic artist, but he did not always paint all these lovely Lord of the Light type paintings. But sometimes he painted some really disturbing, dark, weird shit.

Speaker 2 But then it was all locked away in a vault. But no one ever found the vault to get into the vaults or whatever the story was because it's like kind of like Al Capone's vault, right? Yeah.

Speaker 2 It was like stuffed away somewhere in a secret location that no one ever knew about. So it's like this like nebulous thing.

Speaker 2 In this documentary, apparently, they find the vault, they open the vault,

Speaker 2 and they get access to this collection of paintings that was very much not what Thomas Kincaid supposedly was all about.

Speaker 2 And I think this proves once and for all that Thomas Kincaid was maybe the ultimate art troll ever. More than Banksy, more than Andy Kaufman, Thomas Kincaid.
Why?

Speaker 2 Because, yeah, Banksy's made a lot of money, and everybody fiends for a Banksy, but you're in on the joke with Banksy, right?

Speaker 2 He's making this art to blow up or, you know, on the side of a wall of some random Italian town or whatever. Thomas Kincaid had the, he took it all the way.
He took it all the way.

Speaker 2 He made billions of dollars. His company made billions of dollars selling these rather like kind of, you know, ho-hum paintings to unassuming people.
He took it all the way.

Speaker 2 And until the last dying breath of the Thomas Kincaid phenomenon, everyone who loved Thomas Kincaid believed that Thomas Kincaid was a certain way. Those wholesome guy.
Yes, when in fact

Speaker 2 he was getting lap dances and hand shandies by night, snorting Coke off snippers at strippers' asses while you were staring at his Thomas Kincaid painting, wondering what the word of the Lord is.

Speaker 2 Unbelievable. He got you.
He got you. I know.
I love this story.

Speaker 2 i love it i really want to see this movie i think this might be one of the most underrated stories about a troll or a performance artist ever and i cannot wait to see this movie and there's like one trailer out there in the universe and they have an instagram page with a couple videos but it's just more like splicing the trailer up in different ways there's not a lot of people following this page but i think this is going to be one of those i mean to me at least this is going to be one of those stories that i love to dig into oh yeah because i love the thought that i like my neighbor in Chicago, but it's been many years since I've seen her.

Speaker 2 I love the thought that she just bought into this whole milk. And honestly, it was 2%

Speaker 2 with some cocaine in it. Yeah, exactly.
I can't wait. It's great.
What kind of pictures was it? What kind of things was he painting?

Speaker 2 They don't show it in the trailer, but they show an iPad with pictures. or like photographs of stuff in the vault top people who knew Thomas Kincaid or studied Thomas Kincaid or whatever.

Speaker 2 And the expression on those people's faces is like, whoa, like you know, completely aghast at what they saw.

Speaker 2 And so, apparently, this stuff is really dark and, like, you know, maybe disturbing in a lot of ways. Like, I mean, I imagine it's like, you know, SM type stuff.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 I don't know what I imagine, you know, death and destruction or whatever. I can't wait to see it.
I'm so excited about it. I know you got me excited.
I know.

Speaker 2 We should, like, I mean, it'll be a long time before we'll be able to a little viewing party here. It'll be a long time ago.
Now I'm very interested in it, too. Oh, God.
I can't wait.

Speaker 2 I'm just like super.

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 2 Just that one hour of television so many years back got me so interested in the Thomas Kincaid story.

Speaker 2 And then, you know, occasionally I'll read something about Thomas Kincaid, and I'll be like, oh, yeah, that's, you know, I saw something's going to leak out of it.

Speaker 2 You know, this whole thing came crashing down, by the way, for Thomas Kincaid. Like, the whole, like, like beanie babies and everything else in the life, you know, it's hot.
It's not something

Speaker 2 happens. Thomas Kincaid went through a series of scandals, I I believe, and that kind of destroyed his reputation.
But this takes it even further.

Speaker 2 Like this gets to the root of the matter, which is he really was scamming us all in a way where he was, I think, going to bed at night, laughing to himself. Like, I can't believe I pulled this off.

Speaker 2 This is amazing. Like, Andy Kaufman, the wrestler.
Do you know what I'm saying? Like, no one could ever figure out if Andy Kaufman wanted to be a wrestler. Was he a wrestler? Did he actually wrestle?

Speaker 2 No one could ever figure out if he was, What was that character that he played? Do you remember? Like,

Speaker 2 oh, yeah, it's right at the tip of my tongue.

Speaker 2 Not Leon, but

Speaker 2 someone like that.

Speaker 2 Andy Kaufman, and you have to have your head directly up your butthole not to know this, but Andy Kaufman was a performance artist.

Speaker 2 Some think one of the best comedians of all time, certainly one of the most shocking comedians of all time.

Speaker 2 He had a

Speaker 2 character that Tony,

Speaker 2 Tony something, that would come out. And Tony was like a lounge singer, but he was a shocking lounge singer.
He would come out with like half-naked women. He would sing dirty songs.

Speaker 2 And so many people believed that that was Andy Coffin. Yeah, Tony Clifton.
Tony Clifton. That he would dress up because it was clearly makeup.

Speaker 2 Like you could see that it was like a prosthesis he was wearing on his face. So many people thought that's Andy doing the joke, but

Speaker 2 sometimes Andy and Tony Clifton would be in the same place, and people would see him in the same place. Tony over there, Andy over there.
And people are like, Wait, I thought you were Tony.

Speaker 2 And he's like, I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, Tony was like Andy's manager, quote unquote, who was also a lounge singer.

Speaker 2 It was like this whole routine, but Andy found ways to continue to people over and mess with their mind. It was like a magic trick of hilarity that he loved.
And I thought it was brilliant.

Speaker 2 I really did. I think it's so, I think it's so much fun.
And the thought that Thomas did this, but got away with it, like they're like everyone's serious.

Speaker 2 Andy Kaufman, okay, he's got someone else dressed up as Tony Clifton today. Thomas Kincaid, no one suspect, no one suspected.

Speaker 2 But long before the internet, long before you could Google, or there were cell phones in everybody's hands taking pictures. Who's involved with Disney?

Speaker 2 Disney, Universal,

Speaker 2 on and on and on and on and on. He painted some of the most precious brands for some of the most precious brands in the world.
And they didn't know that he was, in fact, just a

Speaker 2 sleazy artist

Speaker 2 who was a good artist, good artist, no doubt about it. He certainly had a talent for painting.
But I can't wait. I want to wrap it up.
I want to piece it all together.

Speaker 2 I want to see the end of this story. I'm living long enough to see the end of the Thomas Kincaid story.
We will have a viewing. That makes me happy.
Yeah, we'll have a viewing.

Speaker 2 I don't know when, and I don't know if that's legal, but maybe I should reach out to the people who made the movie and say, I'd really like to talk about this movie on air. Can I have a 100%?

Speaker 2 Can I get get a viewer? And to which they'll say, who?

Speaker 2 Who? Well, it's your old friends at TCB. And for the 33 hours of TCB, we'd like to talk about the Thomas Kincaid documentary.

Speaker 2 Maybe we'll get a full screening like we did, like in a theater.

Speaker 2 Oh, I did go to the I did do that once.

Speaker 2 I was supposed to go, but I couldn't. But yeah, you said it.

Speaker 2 It was interesting. It was interesting.

Speaker 2 The theater was interesting. The people in the theater were interesting.

Speaker 2 The few of us that there was, the security guard keeping an eye on me was interesting. It was all very interesting.
And the movie itself was not interesting. That's right.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 Borderlands was not a good movie, and I think everyone agrees. I think it's universally agreed upon, including some of the people who made the movie.
They just don't like it.

Speaker 2 They tried, but it was just too weird and choppy and interesting. You know, whatever.

Speaker 2 If you're one of those people who knows about Borderlands and you watched borderlands i'm not saying anything sacrilegious you understand it was a really bad movie but

Speaker 2 nonetheless great actors and actresses in it and our friend gene

Speaker 2 was in it that's right

Speaker 2 jack black kevin hart um there's a ton of people in it pedro pascal jamie lee curtis jamie lee curtis was in it that's right based on a game a video game a video game a very popular video game like a very popular video game but there are so many problems making making a video game into a movie that this is like notoriously a hard thing to do.

Speaker 2 And they didn't get it right on this one either.

Speaker 2 All right, you student drivers out there, look out. Ryan's coming for you.
I'm giving you no grace, student drivers. I'm on to you.
I see you, you inconsiderate, selfish pricks.

Speaker 2 No, I'm kidding. If you're a student driver and you want to denote that so we all take time, so we all take care around you, then do it.
But don't put a student driver.

Speaker 2 Why would you put a student driver sticker on the back of your car if you're not a student driver? To me, it makes no sense. I don't understand.

Speaker 2 The only thing I can think of is that you're a bad driver and you want people to give you a little bit of room. Okay.
All right.

Speaker 2 Well, I'm even okay with like bad drivers doing it, but actually, just stupid people. That's right.
Like this woman that you

Speaker 2 mentioned. Terra

Speaker 2 doing a legal thing. That's right.
TCBpodcast.com, 212-433-3TCB at the commercial break on Instagram and youtube.com slash the commercial break for all the episodes the same day they air here.

Speaker 2 Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for now. I think so.
I'll tell you that I love you.

Speaker 2 I'll say best to you.

Speaker 2 And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say, and we must say.
Goodbye.

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