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You won't want to miss it unless it doesn't happen.

On this episode of the Commercial Break.

We'll give you $100,

get a motel room,

fuck each other, and come back and tell us all about it.

Go dancing. But only in innuendos.

Oh my god. A rip here and a tear there and lips enclosed everywhere has got to be Milton.
Milton! Yeah, good old Milton. What's that mean, Milton? Well, what that means is we're having a pretty good time when we left the bar and we pretty much did the streets of San Diego.
You did the streets of San Diego. I'm not even, is that lingo that I'm not understanding? I did the streets of San Diego.
Your date with Miltie end up, Tracy. After you're driving around the city street.
Around the corner, he jizzed on the wall of the bar. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.
Oh yeah, cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break.
I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley.
Best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian.
And best to you out there in the podcast universe. I'm terribly sad today because I just learned that Val Kilmer died.
I know. I saw that this morning.
Val Kilmer. Ah, what a classic.
If you're younger than 30 years old, you probably don't even know who Val Kilmer is unless you're a movie buff, and then you will know Val Kilmer because he was in some of the most wonderful movies ever made, quite frankly. I mean, a few of them, right? So he was in Top Gun.
Tombstone. Tombstone.
Batman. He played Batman.
That's right. He was a Batman, a one-hit wonder Batman, but I think he played a good Batman.

I did, too.

I liked Val Kilmer as Batman.

True Romance.

True Romance, that's correct.

He was in, was he in Weird Science?

Not Weird Science.

He was in one of those teenage movies.

He made his debut in one of those 80s teenage movies.

Yeah.

But for me, when people say that,

what's that movie that won all the awards about the trans woman? Oh. It's so forgettable at this point.
It's so forgettable. The musical with the trans drug dealer or whatever.
Yes, Selena Gomez was in it. Everybody said, or some people said, that movie changed my life.
And we were all like, really that movie changed your life? Oh no, nevermind. It was Anora.
They were like, that movie changed my life. It's like, really? It was a life changing movie? The Doors, for me, was a life changing movie.
Yes, he did such a fantastic job as Jim Morrison. I actually have a hard time distinguishing between the real Jim Morrison and Val Kilmer's version.
100%. Yeah.
Because he embodied Jim Morrison so incredibly, accurately, and ethereally. Like, I don't know, it was like Jim Morrison came down and just took over Val Kilmer.
He looked like him. Yeah.
He danced like him. He sang like him.
He acted like him. And even though there's like, you know, not a ton of offstage footage of Jim Morrison, like documentary footage of Jim Morrison, if you watch any real footage of the real Jim Morrison and then you watch The Doors, you cannot tell the difference.
It is really hard to do that. And that movie is so incredible.
And I know that it's Oliver Stone, and Oliver takes a lot of creative liberties. But still, it's a fantastic movie.
I mean, it's great. But as a 11, 12, 13-year-old boy or whatever it was, when that movie came out, I went and saw it in the movie theaters with some of my friends.
My parents would have never let me see that movie, but someone's parents took us to the movie theater. We snuck in to see the door.
The guy sold us the tickets.

We went and saw the doors.

And I just remember being in that movie theater.

Captivated.

Oh.

Captivated.

It made a big impression.

I said, that's what I want to do.

I want to do that for a living.

I'd always loved music. But then that just solidified it for me.

And who could have guessed it?

That just a few short years later, I would be falling off stage in a drunken stupor at a empty bar in Tuscaloosa, Alabama to nobody doing my best Jim Moore, doing my best Val Kilmer doing Jim Morrison impression.

It was unbelievable.

Val, I will always be in love with Val Kilmer for playing that role.

He also did, didn't he do like a drug addict in a movie? Like, wasn't he in, was it rush? No, rush was the other guy. No, I was going through his whole list of movies.
I was like, Oh yeah. I forgot about that one.
This one. He's played all kinds.
He really was so versatile. He was amazing.
Anybody and everybody. He was amazing.
Amazeballs. Amazeballs.
I'll be your Huckleberry. Yeah, I'll be your Huckleberry.
That's a good one. When he met in the movie, when Jim Morrison meets Andy Warhol.
And Andy Warhol says, everybody will have their 15 minutes of fame. So true.
He was so accurate about that. He knew it.
He saw it coming. And now, look at us all.
all have podcasts and Instagram channels and we're all getting our 15 minutes of fame. Fame and being famous is not such an elusive thing anymore.
It's quite frankly, it's really easy to do. All you need is a social media account and either a really rock hard body or the ability to say and do dumb, stupid shit like we do here at the

commercial break. But anyway, he says, I got this phone.
Like the guy playing Andy Warhol,

who's also a fantastic actor, by the way, he says, I got this phone and God called.

But when he called, I didn't have anything to say to him. And I just like the way that

Val acts in that scene is so mesmerizing that I don't know anything to say to him. And I just like the way that Val acts in that scene

is so mesmerizing that I don't know any other way to put it. It's one of the best moments on screen

ever, ever. That in the one scene where they're doing acid in the desert, because I've also done

acid in the desert and it was very accurate depiction of what it's like to do acid in the

desert. You're scared, you're lonely, and you're certainly going to die.
There you go there it is val kilmer gone way too young he got throat cancer yeah he got throat cancer but then recovered from that and his latest thing was he was in the top gun maverick yeah that one um but they had to use ai for his voice something yeah that's what they said i saw his last video he put out a social media video maybe like two or three days ago. Two or three days ago.
And he donned a Batman mask. But his voice was not Val Kilmer's voice.
No, it's, yeah. Well, there's a documentary out there that came out a few years ago that I watched.
Yeah, and it was like critically acclaimed, wasn't it? It's on Hulu, I think. But yeah, it was really good.
And it goes through his whole kind of trajectory with the throat cancer. Ugh.
I know, But he died of pneumonia. He died of pneumonia? Yeah.
Jeez, that's what takes you. That's the random shit that takes you when you get our age.
When you get into your late 30s. That's what takes you is pneumonia or hip break or something like that.
You just can't recover. Your body just doesn't do it.
Oh, Val, gone too soon.

And he went to Juilliard, too, which I did not know until I read the articles. He was like the youngest person to get in.
Oh, really? At 17. Really? I didn't know that.
There you go. You learn something new every day.
Anyway, RIP Val Kilmer. I'll pour one out for you.
You will always be one of my favorites for anything. I mean, there's so many other great roles you had, too if for anything you literally sucking up the ghost of jim morrison and allowing it to be on screen and if you haven't seen the movie the doors get a glass of wine or your favorite call your favorite d get him to bring over a bag of your favorite you know laffy taffy or speedball or whatever it is you choose to do be safe out there kids do kids.
Do it at home. Don't drink and drive.
Don't drug and drive. But watch that movie in some state of intoxication or meditation.
And tell me that it's not just an amazing movie start to finish. It really is.
Anyway, that's the sad news today. But, you know, there's lots of other good stuff that's happening in the world, Chrissy.
Yeah. I haven't read about any of it.
You tell. I haven't read about any of it, but, you know, I'm sure.

No, there's always good stuff.

I have my nice news newsletter. Okay, give us a nice news newsletter.
Pick one out. Pick an article out because, you know, I'm only going to talk trashy shit, and I'm sorry.
That's just my, the thing is, is that because I love my Instagram and my news feeds and i've like kind of honed them into this very specific version of the algorithm yeah the problem is it's not always the most positive version of the algorithm because that's not always what i'm looking for it's not that i'm a negative person it's i'm trying to find humor and all of this I really have decided that this is all becoming very tragically hilarious. The world around us is becoming tragically hilarious.
It's a good way to put it. And I think that I'm just going to laugh at it because there's nothing else to do.
I have no purchase in what goes on in the larger scene. All I can do is control the things that are directly around me and maybe make some other people laugh in the meantime.
So I think that I've just decided this is all for, like, I think, was it George Carlin that said this? This is all for my entertainment. The world is for my entertainment and I'm just choosing to laugh at it, observe it and laugh at it.
It sounds like something he would say. It does sound like something he was going to say.
So if it's something that I'm saying that I'm brilliant, if it was something that he said, then least i've quoted him uh i think george carlin said that and that's all really that we can do i mean there are other things that we can do of course too but not a middling podcaster what am i supposed to do chrissy speaking of middling podcaster while you figure out which story you want to tell us a couple here uh middling podcaster morgan whalen is getting morgan wallen morgan whalen how? I don't know. Don't care.
Really, quite frankly, don't care. Morgan is not my flavor of music.
I'm just not a huge country music fan. I think there are some great country songs.
There are some great country artists. Morgan's not my flavor.
Now, that's not to knock his music. I just don't really get into it.
Okay, fine. Whatever.
But did you see where he walked off Saturday Night Live? Yes. God.
Without saying, like doing the traditional goodbyes to everybody in the cast? Why? Why do that? I don't know. And then that's afterwards was when he tweeted or said, yeah, whatever.
I got to get back to God's country or something. So I guess he just had to get out of there.
I don't know. He hated New York.
Well, Saturday Night Live. I'm not sure.
First of all, must be really nice to have a $26 million Lear jet waiting to take you to God's country. How tone deaf is that? I guarantee 99.999% of your fans probably will never sit in a private plane.
Most of us may never even sit in first class again, let alone a private plane. And then to tweet that I got to get back to God's country as if something is wrong.
You know, it's like, it's just, it's divisive. It doesn't make any sense.
And walking off directly in front of the camera where you knew that was going to be out on live television in front of millions of people just seemed rude to me like saturday night live and and i want to say this about morgan whalen wallen whalen whalen whalen whalen whalen wha-bam i changed his name hey hi um when morgan went through his drama where he was using expletives that most people should never utter out of their mouth because you're just a decent human being and that's the wrong thing to do. When he did, he was supposed to be on Saturday Night Live.
When that all blew up, he was supposed to be on Saturday Night Live that week. Saturday Night Live obviously made the decision that it's too hot to trot right now.
Lauren Michaels said, yeah, I'm sorry, kid. You can't come on not now this is this the the kitchen is too hot you got to get out but six months later they invited him back and they said okay here's your shot you know here's your shot at redemption after he went on the apology tour and i'm really sorry and that's not you know who i am and all that other stuff like just like empty words that come out of every person's mouth when they get in trouble, but they get caught being themselves and all of a sudden they have some different story or excuse as to why it happened.
Welcome to 2025. Well, Saturday Night Live had him on six months, seven months later.
So they invite him back for a second time and it's not like, so you decide to go do the but it's not where you want to it's not where you want to be why do the show at all you're doing the show so that you can get

attention because that's what people who are that's what mainstream artists do they have to go

feed the machine and you went and fed the machine and the people at saturday night live and nbc and

all the other people who made it who are involved in that decision gave you the platform to do that

Thank you. And you went and fed the machine.
And the people at Saturday Night Live and NBC and all the other people who are involved in that decision gave you the platform to do that. But you can't sit still for 15 seconds and just say goodbye to those people.
Seems really rude. You don't have to love everybody on stage.
You don't have to love what they're about. You don't have to love their politics.
You don't have to love who they love. You don't have to do any of that.
All you have to do is just stand there and say goodbye. But you make a show of it.
And to me, it's an honor to be on Saturday Night Live. Are you kidding me? It's an honor.
And I know that people like some people may argue that like Saturday Night Live is a bastion of liberal thinking and they're always beating up on conservative ideas. They're beating up on everybody.
That's what they do. And yes, do they tend to lean liberal? Yes.
A lot of people in Hollywood creative types do. They just have empathy for other human beings.
So that's how they lean. But if it's good enough that you can get yourself in front of 15, 16, 25 million people, then it's good enough to sit with the 15 other artists and creators who are helping you get that message out, get your music out.
It's good enough that you can stand there and be respectful for a second. Now, I'm not sure.
I don't think anybody's yet found out whether Morgan even understood he was supposed to stand there, but that would seem like a convenient excuse since he's been there before he's done this another time. So I would say nay to Morgan.
First of all, don't invite him back. Second of all, Morgan, just be nice.
That's all you got to do is be nice and respectful. We don't all have to agree on politics or anything, but can't we stand, you know, can us as artists or creators just stand there and celebrate each other? I mean, whatever.
Anyway, who cares? Fucking Morgan Whalen. There's a girl on my Instagram.
I think I mentioned this the other day. There's a girl on my Instagram.
She got catfished. I don't know how I found this girl.
I don't know why I'm following her. I'm following a bunch of people that I don't know because I found one of the reels funny or interesting, and then I just followed him so I could follow up on maybe for the show or whatever.
She got catfished by someone claiming to be Morgan Whalen's assistant, mother, brother, sister. She had this whole situation go down.
And those people stole tens of thousands of dollars from her, like from her credit card. They asked to send money.
She kept sending it on her whatever it was, credit card or Chase credit card or whatever. She kept sending them money through PayPal and Venmo and all this.
Because they kept telling her that Morgan was going to invite her to wherever he lives and that they were going to have a date and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Listen, I think you got to be pretty thick to believe that any famous person would reach out via social media, ask you for money, and then invite you on a date.
Do you know what I'm saying? And I don't think Morgan, with his $28 million private jet where he's going to God's country, needs any help. I don't think he needs tens of thousands of dollars from anybody.
But let's make the assumption that the story was at all believable in the first place. Wouldn't you do a little checking? Wouldn't you talk to him on the phone, get him on a FaceTime, meet them in person? If Morgan wanted $20,000 from me, I'd meet them in person.
Yeah. Okay.
So this whole thing goes down. And while this whole thing is going down, she's getting very – she's like one of these people who posts constantly, almost as if the screen is a friend or a boyfriend or a husband or a wife or whatever, and she's updating them constantly on what's going on.
Hey, here's what I had for breakfast. Here's me brushing my teeth.
Here's what I'm doing for my dance routine. I almost got a job.
I applied for this. I did that.
All of it. Kind of like stream of consciousness, a little weird.
And I noticed there are a lot of people out there who are doing this. Three, four, five reels in an hour.
And they're just like, it's as if they're talking to somebody in the room and who they're talking to is social media. If you're going to put yourself out there like that, you're likely going to have people that are not going to be nice about what you're saying.
I've never said a word to this person, by the way. I'm not that person.
I don't jump in on the comments, but I like to read the comments. I just don't jump in on them.
So this whole thing is going down. She has this imaginary relationship going on with Morgan in her head, and she keeps talking about it, blah, blah, blah.
Turns out he's not real. They're not real.
And after some months and some trying to get her money back from the credit card company and all this, it's just gone. lost the police are like what do you want us to do how are we supposed to find some random hard yeah they never get prosecuted never unless there's like a firm trail of evidence those people are in you know timbuk fucking two they're never they're never going to get prosecuted for anything it's likely they barely know how to you know like barely know they barely have a grocery store around them let alone a police department that gives a shit so all this goes on she's lots of tears lots of upsetness she goes on a local not a local but an internet television show that's much like catfish it's actually called online catfish but it's not the actual it's not neve it's like two other people i don't know if it's connected or not connected but it seems to be pretty popular and they do catfish stories so she gets picked to do one of these stories and the guy on the program the girl in the program are kind of level-headed and they're like didn't you have any indication that this might not be morgan whalen when morgan whalen is like he's talking you know, he's talking to you on this on his mom's Instagram account.

But he's talking, you know, he's talking to you on this, on his mom's Instagram account, but he's actually playing a sold out show in Los Angeles. Like, doesn't it seem like, didn't you put two and two together that he might not be able to talk to you while he's doing a sold out show? And sometimes she seems to get it and other times she's like, well, he could have been backstage.
And it's like, no, come on, lady. I mean, you know, honestly, sad.
All this goes down. Show comes out.
She's very upset about how she was portrayed. But then here's the kicker.
Over the last couple of weeks, she has started to talk to the camera about how she believes that she is owed, at least owed, a conversation with Morgan, like an invitation to meet with him and have a conversation since somebody else used his name to screw her over. And she thinks that if I just had a chance, if I just could meet him, then he would see what a beautiful relationship we can have.
This is scary stalker type shit. Now, I don't think she's like a dangerous, she doesn't seem to be a dangerous or violent person.
She seems to be very sweet, actually. What she's showing you.
What she's showing is right, exactly. She doesn't show us cooking the rabbits in rabbit stew, you know what I'm saying? But I just keep thinking to myself, I'm watching someone turn in real life.
I'm watching someone turn a corner in real life. They have gone from I had a really bad situation to almost full-blown delusional.
Yeah. Oof.
Listen, I would love it if Dua Lipa would show up at my house. She could ask me for any amount of money.
I wouldn't be able to give it to her, but she could ask. I'd try.
Maybe I'd rob a bank or something for Dua. But if Dua came to my house and asked me for something and said, we could have a beautiful relationship, I'd say, Astrid, what do you think about polyamory? No, not for you? Well, take care of the kids and tell them I love them.
I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
I'm kidding. I'd take the kids with me.

Okay, so Dua Lipa is never going to reach out to Brian Greene or Chrissy Hoadley or my wife.

Never.

Why?

Because those people have lives that have their own friends and their own family members,

and they are very busy, and they know better.

It's like rule number one of fame.

An agent somewhere we've had agents that have told us this and we don't and no one knows who the fuck the commercial break is be careful about interactions be careful about interactions because people you don't know who's on the other end of them and people can interact and react in all kinds of ways. But in my head, I just know that's never going to happen.
Like, Dua Lipa doesn't give a shit about Brian Greene, never will. Never has, never will.
And with good reason. I'm an idiot.
But this poor girl, she just doesn't seem to get it through her head. And I'm starting to believe that I'm watching her turn in real life.
Yeah, you could be. A little delusional, like a therapist needs to intervene immediately.
But second of all, that it's really hard to date out there. When you're hoping that Morgan Whelan is going to show up at your front door, it must be really difficult to be a single person in 2025.
I think so, yes, from what I hear. I wish we could go back to the good old days, Chrissy.
Like the 80s or 90s. When it was, you know, when literally Pootang was, yeah, I mean, I wasn't dating in the 80s.
Was I dating? Like when you're in second grade and you get a crush, is that a date? Like when you go to the all skate with somebody at the skating party? To like the movies or something? Couple skate. Yeah, couple skate, hold hands, stuff like that.
I don't know. I don't know.
Okay. I'm only steady.
Okay. In the 90s and 2000s, life just seemed a little easier.
It seemed hard back then, but now I realize just how easy it was. You literally walk into a bar and pussy be falling from the sky.
No doubt. Not really.
But that's what mystery thinks. Anyway, in the 90s and 2000s, life was easier.
And that's why, Chrissy, I want to take us back to a simpler time this episode, and I want to catch up with Blind Date UK. But first, do you have a good story for us so we can end this segment on a little bit of positivity? All right, tell us.
Well, again, I highly recommend this newsletter. It's called Nice News Daily, and it comes to your inbox every day, first thing.
So you can start with that before you get to the slush and dumpster fire stuff that's happening. So here's something.
Paris Hilton, of all people, is helping women-owned businesses begin again after they've eaten fire. So just two months after her house.
After they've eaten fire? Well, that fire is out in. Oh, the Eton fire.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

They said after they've eaten fire.

And I'm like, what?

People are out there eating fire? This sounds like good news to me. Okay.
All right. Yes.
So just two months after Paris Hilton watched her Malibu home burn to the ground, she's already helping others rebuild their lives. The reality star and entrepreneur is harnessing her nonprofit 1111 Media Impact to offer grants up to $25,000 to women-owned businesses impacted by the fire.
Good for her. I got to be honest with you.
I have liked Paris Hilton since day one. I have liked her since day one.
Since that stupid fucking whatever, you know, that show. There's definitely been a fascination with her.
Yeah. Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton.
I was into it from day one. The Simple Life.

The Simple Life.

I was into it from day one, and I've always liked Paris Hilton.

And I don't know why.

And I was with her one time at a bar.

Oh, that's right.

I was with her at a podcast conference one time. I watched her spin.

And I got to be honest, it wasn't bad.

And she really seemed to be into it.

And even though she was with kind of like a bunch of like old, fat, you know, weird podcasters,

she gave us a party.

She threw a party.

Yeah, I think she kind of got a bad rap, but I know what you're saying. She was just like kind of in that wheelhouse when we were younger.
Yes. And she was rich, beautiful, fun.
What are you going to do? She's going through her teenage years in front of everybody. And yeah, there was drug use and alcohol.
Of course. Like everybody goes through a lot of people, especially celebrities.
Yes. Like I hope to go through again.
Yes. I hope to go through it again.
But now she's married and she has a baby. And she's come out talking about that abusive school that she went to.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those like wilderness things.
The wilderness. Yeah.
Those things are terrible. I had friends that went to those i had friends that went to those yeah yeah i like paris i've always liked someone who's in on the joke i think it's i think that we were talking with tim baltz uh go back and listen to um tim baltz's episode righteous gemstones shrink i'll put some links in the show notes so you can go see it but But we had a great talk with him.
And we were talking with him and he was talking about Chris. Who's the guy? Chris? Now I can't remember his name, but he was like this weird kind of standup comic, but kind of Andy Kaufman-ish.
He had his own show for a while. Anyway, I always liked when someone had a persona, but they seemed to be in the joke.
Yeah. When she was like, that's hot and everyone was freaking out because they felt she was dumbing down society.
I think she was just, her and Nicole were just in on the joke. Yeah.
They just got it. They got the zeitgeist.
They were the zeitgeist. They were.
And when the zeitgeist ended, she smartly went away and she came back. The real Paris Hilton.

And that's enjoyable too.

So I liked both versions of her and good for her helping out those ladies.

There's your nice news.

Yeah.

I mean, about $25,000.

Can't we put a little bit more in the tank?

I mean, your dad owns Hilton.

I mean, come on.

Let's go.

Your dad, your grandpa was Conrad.

Come on.

Let's go.

All right.

Let's take a break.

And when we get back, Chrissy, we're going to do some Blind Date UK.

It's been a while and I look forward to hearing what Celia Black has to say for us.

Okay, we'll be back. can continue.
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and up to 120 calories and 10 grams of protein per 4.5 ounce serving see remixyogurt.com all right and we're back listen i said i was going to do celia black blind date uk but we actually got into it a little bit and figured out that we could not understand a fucking word that was being said no the accents were way thick so we're gonna bail on that and i'm gonna change it up a little bit i still have 90s dating show material i've got lots of it i think we should do as a good backup plan here i think we should do remember the show studs yes god studs this is a i know we're talking like mid to late 90s, grunge era, new rock.

Think Kid Rock, Limp Bizkit.

Paris Hilton era.

Paris Hilton era.

That's right.

And there was a show where they would take two or three men, two or three women.

They would put them on couches.

They would send them on dates.

And then they would get their opinions of what happened afterwards on a couch.

And what you win, I don't know who fucking knows who fucking cares.

That's not the point of the thing.

There's a host.

He prods it along.

And basically, here's how it goes the people who went on the date as they go on the dates with each other they write things down their impressions of what's going on and what's happening and then the host will read these options out did who said this and then they give them. Okay.
So I'm just telling you how it's going to go here. Obviously, the producers highly edit and can these responses.
No one is this quick witted, but you'll get it. It's a fun bordering on sexual assault type of show.
The 1990s were wild. When you look back on it, it's like, where were we? What was anyone thinking? How do we get away with this shit? And why do we get away with this shit? So let's take a look at Studs here.
Hey, how are you? Welcome, welcome, welcome to a very special week of shows here on Studs all week long. It's Wild Women Week.
Wild Women Week? Ooh. Ooh.
What channel was this on? Was this on MTV? No, this was on like UPN or The CW. I think it was like in that syndication.
Back in the 90s, they started to do this syndication model. Television channels would pop up.
And what they would do is they would buy mainly syndicated television shows. Shows that were made that no network really wanted.
they would buy them on the cheap syndicate them and then the syndicated show would take a cut of the revenue so channels like cw upn wb all these channels popped up out of nowhere and they had very little original content but they were syndicating like you know judge judge judy studs all these dumb shows that one else wanted. And they would put them on during the daytime or late at night.
Studs was one of those shows. It floated around, depending on where he lived, because it was the local markets that would buy the show.
In addition of that very special week of shows, we got a reversal show. A special week of shows, as if anybody got excited about Studs.
Do you think someone came home and said, Mom, it's a special week of studs i can't go to school three guys on the couch two women over there are they oiling up they might be because they're hot mud oil hot mud oil wrestlers i didn't know that was a profession i think that's aka porn star i think that's what that means porn stars. No knock on porn stars.
No, I think that used to be a thing. They would have oil wrestling at night or something, clubs.
Yeah, they would travel around regionally. They had these regional competitions.
I remember that good old days. Do you remember good old days here in Atlanta on Roswell Road? Anybody who's lived in Atlanta for any period of time might remember good old days.

First bar I went to.

First bar I went to.

And first night I went to that bar way back before the Olympics.

Mud wrestling.

Mud wrestling.

Yeah, it was a thing.

It was a thing.

And those girls knocked the shit out of each other, by the way. I love this 90s, like, logo design.
Let me introduce the guys on the couch. Right next to me, 27-year-old underwear model, Michelle KM.
Give him a big hand. Underwear model, a.k.a.
porn star. Oh, man, he's wearing, like, the sleeveless button down.
That's classic. Why is his body so big and his head so small? Do you know what's that? Hey, look at that guy at the end.
Look at that guy at the end. Steroid.
Sterol. 26-year-old flooring contractor.
Yeah, high five, bro. Sweet.
Contractor, Ty-Tay-Go. Ty-Tay-Go.
I love Ty-Tay-Go. He's got that hair from, he's got the Kevin Bacon flash dance hair.
He does have the, you're right about that, Kevin. That's a very, it was a very popular style, flat top, high, you know, they would like tease it up.
It was that transition period between the 80s and 90s when you didn't quite know what to do with your hair. And by the way, if you like Taitay Go, you should try Taitay sitting down at the restaurant.
It's delicious. It's wonderful.
And way down at the end, 30-year-old land developer Milton Holmes III. Milton Holmes III land developer.
He's wearing a blazer. He's got cascading curls.
Cascading curly hair, light blue blazer, white t-shirt, acid wash jeans, dark colored boots on. This is a time capsule right here.
I'm going to show my kids this and I'm going to tell them I don't know. This was George Washington.
Yeah. Why are they high-fiving each other? I don't know.
Are they in competition? Yeah, I think it's all the testosterone makes them have to do something with their hands.

Four.

Hard, flat stomach, tight butt.

All right.

Sounds pretty good.

Ty, how about you?

I love the host.

Sounds pretty good.

Sounds great.

Someone's just going to put up a big challenge, make me work for what I want.

Okay.

Says the guy who never wanted that.

Says the guy who can't deal with anybody.

Michelle.

I like a woman that has a nice body, long legs, nice breasts, and a little bit of an airhead.

I like that.

You like an airheaded girl?

A little bit of an airhead.

Airhead, huh?

Interesting.

Interesting.

A beautiful airhead.

Interesting angle there, my friend.

Who cut the sleeves out? That's coming from the underwear model. Yeah.
Who cut the sleeves out? That's what I was saying. It's a button down, too.
With a pocket. This is peak Amber Combien Fitch right here.
You don't have to worry about what they're going to say. You don't have to go into complications.
You can just lift things out. Complications.
Like what? A conversation? I think he meant to say conversation. Complications.
Complications. Like talking? Right.
You don't have to deal with that. I know.
What a dum-dum. Two wild women for today.
Sherry and Tracy. Come on out.
Sherry and Tracy. Probably not their real names.
Sherry, good to see you. Tracy, good to see you.
Have a seat. That's classic.
Classic 80s, 90s, too. This is like video vixens.
Yeah, I know. Oh, yeah.
Video vixens. That's right.
Without knowing the actual year, I'm saying 90-91 is probably... You've got to be.
Because that hair is straight out of the 80s. Curms,, bangs.
Yeah. The guys in the crowd, they can barely hold themselves back.
It's like they're animals in a cage. Why is she not showing her face? Right next to me, 29-year-old oil wrestler Sherry Amundson.
Give her a hand. She is straight out of a White Snake video.
Oh, she, yes. I mean, really.
Honestly, you're right about that. That is, that's Bret Michaels, one of Bret Michaels' wives.
And next to Sherry, she's 24. She's also an oil wrestler.
Give it up for Tracy Ray. What's wrong with Tracy Ray? Why is her hair covering half her face? Yeah, got that going there you go all right ladies this is back when breast implants came in one size and one size only huge now this works the woman with the most hearts in the show is queen stud you go on a date we pay for it fair enough we're gonna start with the ben stiller harry backhart ben stiller Ben Stiller, hairy back heart.
I don't even know what that means. Ben Stiller hairy back heart.
Oil on this would get all clumpy. So we'll keep it non-oil, keep it oil free.
Ben Stiller hairy back? Yeah, but why would we know that Ben Stiller has a hairy back at this time in life? I remember there was like the brief Ben Stiller show on MTV. It was a brief moment in time when it was like part late night talk show part like comedy sketches kind of snl uh maybe that's what he's referring to when you're getting ready to go out on a date how long does it take you an hour maybe more okay oh that hair it doesn't surprise me an hour all right so we asked the guys um if they were pleased when they first saw you, Sherry.
Here's what they told us. One of the guys said, Her honey-dipped hair had my drool glands working overtime.
Her honey-dipped hair had my drool glands working overtime. Said, No one ever.
And the second guy said, A flutter of those baby blues and I was Mr. Happy.
Said, None of the guys on this couch. And the third guy said, a flutter of those baby blues and I was Mr.
Happy. Said none of the guys on this couch.
And the third guy said, you gotta love a woman whose breasts have their own zip code. Oh my God.
Oh my God. This is so peak 90s.
And the three guys on the couch supposedly said these things, but clearly none of these guys have two brain cells to wrap together, let alone make a comment like that. You got to have a woman whose breasts have their own zip code must be milty.
Milt? No. I can't get over his hair.
It looks like a wig. It does.
It does. It really does.
I think it's the first guy. Yeah, I think it's the first guy, too.
I was saying, Milt, the flutter of those baby blues. She does have blue eyes.
That's pretty, you like that? Yes. So what'd you think when you first saw her? I figured she was just mine, mine, mine.
Oh, me like woman. Oh, me like tit ass.
Yes. Mine, mine, mine.
Mine, mine, mine. Sorry, Chrissy.
Mine, mine, mine. You no agree? When you first saw him, Sherry? Pretty much the same thing.
Really? That you were against his? All right. Who actually? No, she likes Milton.
Get down on these clothes. Clean floor.
Blow dick Blow dick. They'd rest with their own zip code.

Michelle.

I knew it.

You knew it.

Good job. Would that be the new nine-digit zip code

or the old five-digit zip code?

I'd be nine digits.

Really?

You like a busty woman, don't you?

You said that earlier.

Yeah, sure.

I mean, I like it when there's something there.

Sure.

Is she too smart for you? No, she's not. What did you think when you first met Michelle, Sherry? No, she's not smart.
No, she's not. No.
I basically didn't think anything. You're right.
I just kind of lost brain freeze because he's so attractive. Really? Oh, she likes him.
Okay. She goes for that small-headed, big forehead kind of look yeah do you notice his forehead just moves right into his hair like it's no transition there let's try and get over this gridlock we're gonna move on to you tracy when you talk to a guy on the phone can you tell anything substantive about him tell whether he's sexy or not or self-confident Really? Whoa, listen to that voice.
Ooh. How? Despite a tone of his voice and how he speaks.
All right, well, we asked them what they thought of you when they talked to you on the phone. Oh, God.
Yeah, and here's their place. And they talked on the phone? I have no idea what's going on here, actually.
I thought they went on a date ahead of time, but maybe I'm wrong about that. I didn't watch Studs for the actual minutiae, and I only

think I watched a couple of episodes,

but I do remember it being a mainstay

of daytime television for a while there.

Her savage growl made me feel like King of the Jungle.

Oh, man.

Second guy said that dreamy

voice is as smooth as

satin sheets.

And the third guy said sexual, straightforward. Oh Oh my God, it's Dr.
Ruth. Well, wait, this had to be more than the phone call because they had to say what they thought of.
What they looked like. That's right.
Now, either they looked at photographs or they saw each other in person. That savage girl made me feel like the king of the jungle would probably be Michelle.

No, I don't say anything like that.

What did you say, Michelle?

I said sexual, straightforward, oh my God, it's doctor.

Really?

What did you talk about on the phone?

Well, I could talk about anything and she wouldn't mind.

I mean, we could just talk about let your mind work. Let your mind work.
Let's get complicated. I know.
Was he a good conversationalist on the phone? Yes. Who said king of the jungle? Who felt like the king of the jungle? Milk.
King of the mobile home park, perhaps. I'm not listening to that.

Geez, I like this host. He's sasset.
Why? What'd you talk about? We talked about wet things, oceans, and, you know, fun things that we don't want to talk about here. What'd you talk about with milk? I don't even understand what's going on.
I know. First of all, second of all, the girl on the couch, Tracy or Lacey or whatever her name is, she cannot stop wiping her nose.
Oh. Yeah, but again, this is the early 90s, late 80s, coming out of the, you know, everybody was high back then.
Yeah, we just basically talked about getting together and going somewhere because everything was just so spread the moment, but we liked that. Well, good.
All right, we'll come back.

We'll see what happened on those spur of the moment dates.

We'll come back.

We have no substance whatsoever in this segment.

Let's get to the next segment.

I'm so confused.

Me too. What's going on?

Do they like each other? Do they not like each other?

But they apparently have been on a date.

Yeah, well, hey, listen.

Let's find out in the next segment.

Okay.

Okay, move along. Here we go.
Sorry, there's some out in the next segment. Okay.
Okay, move along.

Here we go.

Sorry, there's some space for the commercial.

Hey, welcome back.

All right, where were we?

Sherry, how can you tell if a guy's having a good time when he's out with you?

Body language, definitely.

Like, show me body language that says, hey, I'm having a good time with you, Sherry. If they lean forward and look in your eyes and try to touch you, generally, that says we're having a good time.
All right. We asked the guys what they enjoyed most about their dates with you.
Sherry, here's the one. Yeah, so they have been on dates.
Okay, so we got that down. They told us one guy said, nothing gets me hotter than a woman with a talented tongue.
Oh, my God. Well, and also, too, I'm confused on the matching up to the person.
I think they all went on dates with each other. Yeah.
So I'm assuming they all went on dates with each other. I thought that's how this goes.
I think they all go on dates with each other, probably talk on the phone. They get to know each other ahead of time.
Yeah. But, like, who's writing these? Perverted Dr.
Seuss? I mean, honestly, it it's so weird nothing gets me hotter than a woman

with a talented tongue that's just not something a human being would say no second guy said the second guy said hail sherry queen of the quivering hips and the third guy said this girl really knows how to put a knot in my pants.

A knot in my pants?

A knot in my pants.

Oh, my God.

The innuendos here are terrible. This girl really knows how to put a knot in my pants.
Ty? Nope. No! Nope.
Who else did you sleep with? Nope. What'd you say, Ty? Hail Sherry, queen of the quivering hips.
Really? Why is that? We went dancing, and she's a very good dancer. Is Ty a pretty good dancer, Sherry? Yes, he is.
Okay. Do you think he'd make a good wrestler? Yeah.
Personality is flowing out of all these people. I mean, honestly, no one has any personality.
I think like going out and going dancing used to be a big way to go on a date. It did.
A first date. You know, Astrid has been telling me since the day that we met.
And I'm not a dancer. And no one's ever going to claim that Brian Greene is a good dancer.
But I'm also not afraid to dance. I figure just let it loose.
I like dancing. like dancing.
And so, you know, if you don't like my dancing, you don't have to watch me, right? But Astrid says that where she comes from and in Spain, it's not unusual to go somewhere and dance. Go dancing, yeah.
Because that is a night out. You sit down for a nice meal, you go dancing.
I kind of like that. Where could we do that here? Not at the bill murray concert that's for sure we can do it at places like i guess tongue and grew i mean there's some places out there but like you got to bring a bulletproof vest to some of these places you know what i'm saying it's so dangerous the three o'clock in the morning yeah with people that some people are just out there having fun but then others are are in the club doing, you know, we've been to clubs.

We know what happened to the clubs.

Just back then, you weren't allowed to carry a firearm everywhere you went.

I could slaughter, but maybe, you know, the next level down.

Well, I could pin him up.

I'm sure you could.

Who really got a knot put in their pants?

Who was that?

Oh, Milt Holmes III.

What happened there, Milt? What did you guys do? Well, I got a boner. Well, we were out dancing ourselves, and one thing led to another, and she ran over to someone else and grabbed their tie and shoved it down my pants.
What? What? What? That's an interesting dance move I haven't heard about before Let me stuff random socks down your pants

Someone's tie?

Someone's tie

First of all, where did you get the tie?

Who's giving you a tie?

Second of all, you put it down his pants

Third of all, did you give the tie back is what I want to know

I have this fetish for ties

I like this guy's tie

And I didn't want to lose it

It's a good thing she doesn't have a fetish for ties. I like this guy's tie, and I got him to give it to me, and I didn't want to lose it, so yeah.
It's a good thing she doesn't have a fetish for shoes. Tracy! When you think a guy's good-looking, cute, what do you do? How do you let him know? Tell him straight out.
You just say, hey, what would you say? I just say, you're really cute, or you're really attractive, or... You are hot.
Do you really get my goose, or... I love you.
Whatever really you've actually said that to a guy you really get my goose yeah like anybody has said any of these things you're talking about today come on dude but have you noticed that brooch keeps moving all over her shirt like a jaguar or something we asked if there was any geaslings over here on the dates. And here's what they said.

One of the guys said, her legs are as long as the stairway to heaven.

Second guy said, I envy the lint in that sweet little innie.

That's disgusting.

My OCD just kicked in.

The third guy said, from the tips of her acrylics to the depths of her D-cups, this babe is one big boing. Boing.
Boing. Fit another boner joke in.
Dave on our staff's the boner joke writer. He gets one in every time.
Good job, Dave. High five.
Oh my God. I envy the Linton, that sweet little innie.
It's got to be Milton. There you go.
Milton! The first part of the night. Oh, the back of your heart.
That's what you get. Yeah, they give you a trinket with hair from Ben Stiller.
I don't know what's going on. What are you talking about there, Milt? Well, when I first saw her, she had a pirate shirt on.
And all I could see besides her beautiful breasts were that little belly button. She had a pirate shirt on? She had a pirate shirt on.
Like, argh, that kind of pirate? Or what are we talking about here? What a team. We went to go to this one bar, and there was a line around the door,

so we said the heck with them.

And we went to a real, very nice posh bar next door.

And we had a very nice time,

except for the fact that he squeezed both my breasts together

like they were cookie dough.

Oh, a little sexual assault at the end of the day, huh, Milt?

Milt Jr. III, or whatever is Milt Jr.
III.

I'm a land developer. Hey, now.
Even the host knows he went too far in that one. Sometimes the dough is better than the actual cookie.
Is there a nice one? What? I don't even know. That made no sense.
He's quick-witted in a weird way. Are legs as long as the stairway to heaven? That's got to be the first guy, because he talked about legs.
That's right. By the way, do we just skip over the assault part of the night? Don't we have to follow up on that? Why are you grabbing her breasts like that? From the tips of her acrylics to the depths of her D-cups, this babe is one big boy-ing.
Her legs are as long as the stairway to heaven.

Maybe Ty?

Nope.

I knew it. Who was the other guy?

Oh, Ty.

Ty's losing on all fronts.

Look at Ty on the couch.

He just looks like he's lost.

And what'd you say?

I said from the tips of her acrylics.

Well, we know what he said because there's only two choices, you dumb-dumb.

To the depth of her D-cup, this lady's one big boy. What did you mean by that? Bang, bang, boom.
Cookie dough, Milt? That's what they felt like to me. It's that delicious tall house taste.
Oh, my God. That's pretty funny, actually badge She said soft badge cookies You usually get romantic on a first date with a guy? If there's chemistry there, yeah If there's schmeck in there We asked the guys if there was any romance on their dates with you And here's what they told us us.
One of them said... Oh, yeah, good.
Let's get down to the good parts.

The Pacific Ocean is just a puddle compared to our deep desire. Oh, okay.
Second guy said, Our mouths fit together like a cork in a champagne bottle. Second guy said, The only way I'll forget our passion is to have my brain removed.
Boo-yoo-yoo-yoo-yoo-yoo-yoo-yoo

Our mouths fit together like a cork in a champagne bottle. It's Michelle.
There you go. Yeah, that's right.
I stuck my tongue down her throat. I showed her my underwear modeling photographs.
So what did you guys do on your day? We went to a restaurant and we ended up kissing after a while. At the restaurant? Yeah, in front of everybody.
It was getting a little bit too much kissing. So what did you do? Well, we stopped and we went somewhere else.
Where'd you go? That doesn't concern you. Ooh, that's so spicy.
Wow. You're obviously not a regular viewer, Michelle.

Where'd you go, Sherry?

He had a hotel room.

Wow, it's the whiz-bang 90s, kids.

It is.

Get after it.

Get on it.

Hey, listen, two consenting adults can have a good time, right, Chrissy?

Of course.

I don't oppose.

I don't object, Your Honor.

Can I still tell them?

No.

So that's where the date ended.

Alright, well you get to go again there.

Pacific Ocean is just a puddle compared to our deep desire

or the only way I'll forget our passion is to have my brain removed.

The only way I'll forget our passion is to have my brain removed. The only way I'll forget our passion is to have my brain removed.
Miltie? Nope. Miltie? What'd you say, Miltie? We know what he said.
It's the only choice left. Geez, you don't have to repeat the dumb line four times.
Hey, do me a favor. We're not saying my boner lines enough.
Can we repeat them? The Pacific Ocean is just a puddle compared to our deep desire. Really? What'd you mean by that? Well, compared to our desire for each other, I think the Pacific Ocean is just a puddle.
Okay, yeah, we got it. You just repeated the line again.
It's the same backwards report, Bill. We're not diagramming sentences here.
We're trying to move ahead. Why were you so desirous of Sherry? Give me some reasons.
Oh, the way she touches me, the way she holds me. The way she holds you? What are you, two? The way she holds you, the way she holds me.
I don't know. It's just funny to hear that coming out of that man's mouth.
Yeah. Even she's like, creepy.
Two pretty damn good reasons, Sherry. Tracy, when you're out with a guy that you like.
All right. Okay.
Let's take a break. And then when we come back, we'll, this is a very interesting time capsule here, Chrissy.
I really am enjoying this. Okay.
We'll be back. Let me do something Brian has never done.
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Alright, we're back reviewing the early 90s

daytime television

dating show, Studs.

Because why not? Name it Studs.

Get another boner joke in there.

Would you like to give them any signals to let

them know that you're getting ready to get romantic?

What kind of signals?

Yes. Touch them.

Oh!

Or I take their hand and put their hand on the front of me.

I hold them.

I hold them like a baby.

She said, I put their hand in a place where...

Let's hear that again.

What kind of signals?

I touch them.

Oh!

Or I take their hand and put their hand on the front of me.

Or I kiss them.

Or I wait for them to kiss me.

So you don't mind making the first... Wow, she seems really jittery, doesn't she? She does.
No, not at all. The brooch is gone.
Yeah, that brooch is gone. It went right down her shirt.
Someone's gonna make it and if they may be too inhibited at the time to do it, hell, I'm gonna do it because I'm not gonna miss out on a chance of a lifetime. Chance of a lifetime? I'm sorry, young lady.
I'm sure you have lots of chances of a lifetime. You're a pretty good-looking girl.
I don't think many guys turned you down. Well, we asked the guys about your romantic moves.
One of the guys said she whipped out her gum and chewed my face instead. Second guy said that mouth is more than fast.
It's downright supersonic. And the third guy said, a rip here, a tear there, and lips and clothes were everywhere.
What? Wow. Did everybody just hook up with everybody? I think that's what goes on here.
I think the premise of the show is

we'll give you $100,

get a motel room,

fuck each other, and come back and tell us all about it.

Go dancing.

But only in innuendos.

Oh, my God.

A rip here and a tear there and lips and clothes

everywhere has got to be Milton.

Milton!

Yeah, good old Milton.

What's that mean, Milton? Well, what that means is we were having a pretty good time when we left the bar, and we pretty much did the streets of San Diego. You did the streets of San Diego.
I'm not even, is that lingo that I'm not understanding? I did the streets of San Diego. Did your date with Milti end up, Tracy? After you're driving around the city street? Around the corner, he jizzed on the wall of the bar.
For a while. But then it ended up the next morning.
Whoa. Yeah, because we were doing blow all night long.
I'm sure of it. Fun evening? Yeah, kind of sticky.
Oh, Jesus Christ. Christ, I have mercy.

What is going on?

Oh, my God.

I can't believe this didn't get censored.

He poured Dr. Pepper on me.

So you're part of the Pepper generation now.

I suppose, yes.

She whipped out her gum and chewed my face instead,

or that mouth is more than fast.

It's downright supersonic.

That mouth is more than fast. it's downright supersonic.
That mouth is more than fast, it's downright supersonic. Show? No, it's not.
No, I missed out on that one. Poor metal guy.
He just keeps getting shafted. I know.
And why are we not asking a follow-up question about Dr. Pepper being poured on you.
I mean, come on, host, whatever your name is.

Ambiguous host from the

90s dating shows. He looks kind of

familiar. Oh, he was like a host

of a bunch of these type of shows.

She wiped the gum out of her and chewed

my face instead. Really? Yeah.
Where were you?

We were in my car and we were going to kiss.

She said, hold on, wait, stop.

Come out. I'm not about this.

I'm ready.

Come back. I'm going to find out which one of these guys is going to sing a man a lullaby.

It's going to sing a man a lullaby?

Sing a man a lullaby.

I don't know.

The writing on this show is horrific.

Of course we do.

Judging by the reaction in the crowd, Studs was pretty popular.

Welcome back.

All right, ladies, before the show, we got these guys rounded up

and they gave us some descriptions of you.

You tell me who they're talking about, I'll give you a heart.

How many hearts you got there, Sherry?

One.

And how many do you have, Tracy?

Two.

Oh, boy, we're going to the heart bankruptcy now.

We're giving them so many of them away. Sherry, according to these three guys, who's most likely to have a teddy bear collection? and you are the one who is the one who is the.
Sherry. Hey.
Hold me. You can get a heart with hair back here on it.
Girls have teddy bears. You got any stuffed animals at your house? No, just me.
No, just white snake posters on the wall. Beer cans.
Tracy, who's most likely to sing a man a lullaby, you or Sherry? Probably Sherry. Probably Sherry, she says.
Guys? Sherry. There you go.
Oh, look at that. Hi, Michelle.
I love you, so big Sherry. Sherry's the kind of romantic person that would do that kind of thing.
And would that make a big impression on you? Yeah, I guess it would. Yeah, I like to be sung, too, like a baby.
Because my mom still does that to me every Tuesday and Thursday night. I call her up and I say, hey, mom, rock my baby.
What song would you like to hear? What song would I like to hear? French song.

French, okay.

Frere Jacques.

Sherry, who's going to iron her underpants, you or Tracy?

Tracy.

Tracy, guys?

Tracy's like, huh?

Tracy. There you go.

Iron her underpants.

Yeah, it's iron her underpants because when you're high on cocaine,

you do a lot of that stuff.

Well, as an oil wrestler, I think those underwriters would get quite a bit of air time. I wish they had a sound effect, like that boing sound effect so I could play it.
Underwear, Tracy? I'm not telling. All right.
Tracy. All right.
On to the next one. Don't got time time Got four of these to record today Who's like a hit on her date's best friend You or Sherry? Oh her For sure Probably me Probably me Have you ever? Actually no I'd guess Sherry Definitely Sherry before me Definitely You're.
Definitely. You're sure? Yeah.
You're sure? Yeah. All right.
She says Sherry, guys. Tracy.
I missed out on that in the heart. I just swayed you.
Why, Ty? She's just an outgoing, aggressive type girl, I just think. No.
If she sees what she wants, she's going to go get it. Uh-huh.
Just like I did with my hairstyle. Sherry? Who's most likely? By the way, who's talking in the background? There's like a bunch of conversation going on in the background.
Is there another television show being filmed in the same room? Prepare a man, breakfast in bed. You or Tracy? Me.
She says it's her, guys. Sherry.
There you go, Sherry. The whole show you're doing, like, boner innuendos and sexual conversation, and I get the most milquetoast questions I've ever heard.
Well, if Sherry brought me breakfast in bed, I just would never want to stop eating. Sure? Sure.
Did you hear that guy in the background? Tracy, who's most likely to hide a video camera in her bedroom? Me. Duh.
Why? Why? Because I'm a porn star. Because I really think she has one.
Was that? Because I really believe she has one. I feel like a little house you do.
Do you? If I did, it wouldn't be a secret anymore and then it'd kind of blow it, wouldn't it? I don't know, would it? I don't know. I'm not saying that.
I don't know. God.
For high end or VHSC? High end. There you go.
Come on back. We're going to find out which one of these ladies is the queen of all shikta vays.
The queen of what? All shikta vays? I don't know. Who cares, honestly? Look at that crowd.
Wow, that's a snop shout of 1991 if I've ever seen one. Hey, Maria, welcome back.
Welcome back to the first in a week-long series on studs. All week long, it's Wild Women Week.
What was that? It was a lion noise because the sound effects back then didn't work all that well. It was a lion noise.
A lion noise. Come on strong there.
You got four hearts. How many do you have, Tracy? That's one.
It's a tie. We could give away two fabulous Ultimate Fantasy Dates.
Wouldn't that be special? Ultimate Fantasy Dates. Call it in the air, Cherry.
You're right. So you're going to start.
You tell them who you want to grow up again. If he picks you, you get to go, and we pay for it automatically.
Okay. Well, I didn't pick Michelle.
Even though it's really tough, all you guys are great. He's very romantic, but I just didn't pick him.
Okay. And I didn't pick Ty.
And I didn't pick Ty because he's ugly. I didn't pick Ty, even though he's such a gentleman.
And I had a great, great time with him. But since Miltie gave me the kiss of death, I picked him.
Miltie! Oh, look at Miltie with that long, silky hair. Is his name actually Miltie or Milton? It's Milton.
Milton Jr. fourth, the third or something.
I don't know. What if Miltie picks you? Then what? I want to go to Costa Rica.
Costa Rica? You want to go to Costa Rica? What? Oh, okay. Wow.
One date and you're already off to Costa Rica? Sounds pretty cool. Toes in the sand, cocktail in the hand, you know.
What else could... You've got to love that.
All right, Tracy, you're tied. You could go, too.
What's it going to be? Well, who it's not going to be... Why don't you start there? Well, it's not going to be Milton Sorry We had a very good time But he also ripped my favorite pirate shirt But wait, I thought you guys ended the date in the morning Doing the streets Doing the streets of San Diego I mean, what more could you ask for? He also squeezed your breasts together Like a roll of Play-Doh.
I don't know. Something about the cookies? I would just say that makes you look more like a real pirate, Tracy.
Go ahead. And Michelle, I had a wonderful time, but it seemed, I don't know.
Oh, Ty. Oh, it's a tie.
Well, no, no One pick Milton Oh, Ty, yeah Oh, I thought Ty was certainly going to be the loser here Clicking to later on but it was almost too later on Okay Therefore I'm picking Ty Ty, alright Oh, Ty is the silent strong type Look at him Playing his face What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? Oh, Ty is the silent, strong type. Look at him.
Playing his face.

Disney World or back to Ty's?

Disney World or back to Ty's?

He has the best cocaine.

All right.

Michelle, neither of the ladies picked you.

And I don't think those guys picked you either, so you're off the hook there.

Did you have a good time?

I had a good time.

I had a great time.

Well, good.

Thanks for coming down.

Would you show us who you picked there?

I'm going to go somewhere. By the way, I love this show now.
Can we? I know. I want an where you want to go.
Yeah, I guess that's it. That's what happens.
They just pay for you to go somewhere.

By the way, I love this show now.

I know.

I want an all-expense-paid trip to all of Europe.

I know.

Sherry.

Oh, yeah.

All right.

They're going to Costa Rica.

Ty, if you pick Tracy, not only are they going to Costa Rica, but you're going to-

He seems pretty excited.

Yeah, he does.

Go to Disney World or back to your place. What's it going to be? Going home anyway.
Oh! It's a shocker. He revealed that he picked neither.
Neither. Wow.
Okay. I think he felt like he probably wouldn't get picked and he didn't want to be.
What a dumb dumb. Everybody up.
Up, up, up, up, up. Say goodbye here.
I didn't see that coming either. I didn't know neither was going to be a choice.
All right, maybe we'll do another Wild Woman week. You never know.
That was good. I like that.
All right. I didn't know what to expect there, but I ended up going,

I should have watched more of this as a child. This is completely mindless television that I would have enjoyed.
Oh, wow. Studs, now available everywhere you get YouTube.
Look how long that Milti's jacket is. I know.
Well, that was the style back then. Your jacket went below your butt.
now your

pants don't even go all Well, that was the style back then. Your jacket went below your butt.

To your knee.

Now your pants don't even go all the way down to your socks.

That's the style.

I mean, but it'll come back.

Everything always does.

It'll come back.

Guys will be wearing, you know, jackets down to their knees again, like some ska band.

I'll figure it out. That was fun.
I like that. I'm glad we made that switch last minute because we would not have understood anything.
I'll get back to Celia Black. I'll find an episode where we can actually hear it.
The thing is, is that if you can't understand it by just listening, then it defeats the purpose of doing a podcast.

Yes, that's right. See, you're black.
I got a knot in my pants.

All right. Just a quick reminder that on May 31st, Chrissy and I will be doing, Chrissy and I will be recording and publishing 12 episodes of the commercial break and what

we're calling the 12 Hours of TCB, celebrating five years of the commercial break as a podcast and Mental Health Awareness Month for May. So tune in, mark your calendars.
Looks like we're going to be doing a live recording that day also. We'll broadcast it on Twitch and possibly YouTube.
Also, April 16th, 17th, and 18th, I would like you to call into the commercial break while we are recording. We will answer the phone call.
You will get to choose what you talk about. Anything, everything, whatever.
We'll stay on the phone as long as we can digest your conversation. As long as we like you, we'll stay on the phone.
It's a little bit. I'm calling call TCB.
So I'll remind you about that, but 212-433-3822 212-433-3TCB Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas, add the commercial break on Instagram and youtube.com slash the commercial break for all the episodes the same day they air here on the audio.

Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for now.

I think so.

But I'll tell you that I love you.

And I love you.

Best to you.

Best to you.

And best to you out there on the podcast audience.

Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say, and we must say.

Goodbye.

Wow.

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