Muds, Duds & Studs!

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Speaker 2 You won't want to miss it unless it doesn't happen.

Speaker 3 On this episode of the Commercial Break,

Speaker 3 we'll give you $100, get a motel room, fuck each other, and come back and tell us all about it. Go dancing.
But only in innuendos. Oh my God.

Speaker 4 A rip here and a tear there. Lips and clothes are everywhere.
It's got to be Milton. Milty!

Speaker 3 Yeah, good old Milty.

Speaker 5 What's that mean, Milt? Well, what that means is we were having a pretty good time. We left the bar, and we pretty much did the streets of San Diego.

Speaker 3 You did the streets of San Diego. I'm not even...
That lingo that I'm not understanding, I did the streets of San Diego.

Speaker 6 Your date with Milty End Up, Tracy? After you're driving around the city streets.

Speaker 3 Around the corner, he jizzed on the wall of the bar.

Speaker 3 The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green.
This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Chris.
Best to you, Brian.

Speaker 3 And best to you out there in the podcast universe i'm terribly sad today because i just learned that val kilmer died

Speaker 3 val kilmer

Speaker 3 if you're younger than 30 years old you probably don't even know who val kilmer is unless you're a movie buff and then you will know val kilmer because he was in some of the most wonderful movies ever made quite frankly i mean a few of them right so he was in top gun tombstone tombstone uh batman he played batman that's right he was a batman one a one-hit wonder batman but i I think he played a good Batman.

Speaker 3 I did it too. I liked Val Kilmer as Batman.

Speaker 3 True Romance. True Romance, that's correct.
He was in, was he in Weird Science? Not Weird Science. He was in one of those teenage movies.
He made his debut in one of those 80s teenage movies. Yeah.

Speaker 3 But for me, like when people say that,

Speaker 3 what's that movie that won all the awards about the trans

Speaker 3 woman?

Speaker 3 Oh.

Speaker 3 I don't, I can't. It's so forgettable at this point.
It's so forgettable. The musical with the trans

Speaker 3 drug dealer or whatever.

Speaker 7 Yes, Lena Gomez was in it.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Everybody said, or some people said, that movie changed my life.
And we were all like, really? That movie changed your life? What the fuck? Oh, no. Never mind.
It was Anora. Anora.

Speaker 3 They were like, that movie changed my life. It's like, really? It was a life-changing movie.
The doors. The doors.
For me, was a life-changing movie.

Speaker 7 He did such a fantastic job as Jim Morrison.

Speaker 3 I actually have a hard time distinguishing between the real Jim Morrison and Val Kilmer's version

Speaker 3 because he embodied Jim Morrison so incredibly, accurately, and ethereally. Like, I don't know, it was like Jim Morrison came down and just took over Val Kilmer.
He looked like him.

Speaker 3 He danced like him. He sang like him.
He acted like him.

Speaker 3 And even though there's like, you know, not a ton of off-stage footage of Jim Morrison, like documentary footage of Jim Morrison, if you watch any

Speaker 3 real footage of the real Jim Morrison and then you watch The Doors, you cannot tell the difference. It is really hard to do that.
And that movie is so incredible.

Speaker 3 And I know that it's Oliver Stone and Oliver takes a lot of creative liberties.

Speaker 7 But still, it's a fantastic movie.

Speaker 3 I mean, it's great. But as an 11, 12, 13-year-old boy, or whatever it was, when that movie came out, I went and saw it in the movie theaters with some of my friends.

Speaker 3 Like, my parents would have never let me see that movie. But someone's parents took us to the movie theater.
We snuck in to see the door. The guy sold us the tickets.
We went and saw the doors.

Speaker 3 And I just remember being in that movie theater captivated. Oh.
Captivated.

Speaker 7 It made a big impression.

Speaker 3 I said, that's what I want to do. I want to do that for a living.
I'd always loved music, but then that just solidified it for me. And who could have guessed it?

Speaker 3 That just a few short years later, I would be falling off stage in a drunken stupor.

Speaker 3 at a empty bar in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, to nobody doing my best, Jim Morris, doing my best, Val Kilmer, doing Jim Morrison Impression. It was unbelievable.
Val,

Speaker 3 I will always be in love with Val Kilmer for playing that role. He also did, didn't he do like a drug addict in a movie? Like, wasn't he in, was it Rush? No, Rush was the other guy.

Speaker 7 No, I was going through his whole list of movies.

Speaker 3 I was like, oh, yeah, I forgot about that one, this one.

Speaker 7 He's played all kinds. He really was so versatile.

Speaker 3 He was amazing.

Speaker 7 He was anybody and everybody.

Speaker 3 He was amazing. Amazeballs, amazing.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I'll be your Uncle Barry. That's a good one.

Speaker 3 When he met in the movie, when Jim Morrison meets Andy Warhol,

Speaker 3 and Andy Warhol says everybody will have their, everybody will have their 15 minutes of fame. So true.
He was so accurate about that. He knew it.
He saw it coming. And now, look at us all.

Speaker 3 We all have podcasts and Instagram channels, and we're all getting our 15 minutes of fame. Fame and

Speaker 3 like being famous is not such an elusive thing anymore. It's quite frankly, it's really easy to do.

Speaker 3 All you need is a social media account and either a really rock-hard body or the ability to do, say and do dumb, stupid shit like we do here at the commercial break.

Speaker 3 But anyway, he says, I got this phone. Like

Speaker 3 the guy playing Andy Warhol, who's also a fantastic actor, by the way, he says, I got this phone and

Speaker 3 God called. But when he called, I didn't have anything to say to him.
And I just like the way that Val acts in that scene is so mesmerizing that I don't know any other way to put it.

Speaker 3 He, it's one of the best moments on screen ever, ever.

Speaker 3 That in the one scene where they're doing Acid in the Desert, because I've also done Acid in the Desert, and it was very accurate depiction of what it's like to do acid in the desert.

Speaker 3 You're scared, you're lonely, and you're certainly going to die. There you go.
There it is. Val Kilmer, gone, way too young.
I know. He got throat cancer.
He was 25.

Speaker 7 Yeah, he got throat cancer, but then recovered from that. And his latest thing was he was in the Top Gun Maverick.

Speaker 3 Yeah. That one.

Speaker 3 But they had to use AI for his voice. Something.
Yeah, that's what they said. I saw his last video.
He put out a social media video maybe like two or three days ago. Two or three days ago.

Speaker 3 And he donned a Batman mask, but his voice was not Val Kilmer's voice.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 7 Well, there's a documentary out there that came out a few years ago that I watched.

Speaker 3 Yeah, and it was like critically acclimated, wasn't it? It was a new, I think.

Speaker 7 But yeah, it was really good. And it goes through his whole kind of trajectory of with the throat cancer.

Speaker 7 I know, but he died of pneumonia.

Speaker 3 He died of pneumonia? Yeah. Geez, that's what takes you.
That's the random shit that takes you when you get our age.

Speaker 3 When you get into your late 30s, that's what takes you is pneumonia or hip break or something like that. You just can't recover.
Your body just doesn't do it. Oh, Val,

Speaker 3 gone too soon.

Speaker 3 And he went to Juilliard, too, which I did not know until I read that.

Speaker 7 He was like the youngest person to get in.

Speaker 3 Oh, really? At 17. Really? I didn't know that.
There you go. You learn something new every day.

Speaker 3 Anyway, rip val kilmer uh i'll pour one out for you you will always be one of my favorites for if if for anything i mean there's so many other great roles you had too but if for anything you literally sucking up the ghost of jim morrison and allowing it to be on screen and if you haven't seen the movie the doors

Speaker 3 get a glass of wine or your favorite call your favorite d and get him to bring over a bag of your favorite you know laughy taffy or speedball or whatever it is you choose to do be safe out there kids do it at at home.

Speaker 3 Don't drink and drive. Don't drug and drive.
But watch that movie in some state of intoxication or meditation and tell me that it's not just an amazing movie start to finish. It really is.

Speaker 3 Anyway,

Speaker 3 that's the sad news today. But, you know, there's lots of other good stuff that's happening in the world, Chrissy.
Yeah. I haven't read about any of it.

Speaker 3 I haven't read about any of it, but, you know, I'm sure that there's. No, there's always good stuff.

Speaker 7 I have my nice news newsletter.

Speaker 3 Okay, give us a nice news newsletter.

Speaker 3 Pick one out. Pick an article out because you know I'm only going to talk trashy shit.
And I'm sorry. That's just.

Speaker 3 The thing is, is that because I love my Instagram and my news feeds, and I've kind of honed them into this very specific version of the algorithm.

Speaker 3 The problem is... It's not always the most positive version of the algorithm because that's not always what I'm looking for.
It's not that I'm a negative person.

Speaker 3 It's I'm trying to find humor in all of this. I really have decided that this is all becoming very tragically hilarious.
Like the world around us is becoming tragically hilarious.

Speaker 3 That's a good way to put it. And I think that I'm just going to laugh at it because there's nothing else to do.
I have no purchase in what goes on in the larger scene.

Speaker 3 All I can do is control the things that are directly around me and maybe make some other people laugh in the meantime.

Speaker 3 So I think that I've just decided this is all for like, I think, was it George Carlin that said this? This is all for my entertainment.

Speaker 3 The world is for my entertainment, and I'm just choosing to laugh at it, observe it, and laugh at it. Does it sound like something he would say? It does sound like something he was to say.

Speaker 3 So, if it's something that I'm saying, that I'm brilliant. If it was something that he said, then at least I've quoted him.
I think George Carlin said that, and that's all really that we can do.

Speaker 3 I mean, there are other things that we can do, of course, too, but not a middling podcaster. What am I supposed to do, Chrissy?

Speaker 3 Speaking of middling podcaster, while you figure out which story you want to tell us, I've got a couple here.

Speaker 3 Middling podcaster, Morgan Whalen is getting Morgan Wallen, Morgan Whalen. How do do you say his name? I don't know.
Don't care. Really, quite frankly, don't care.
Morgan is not my flavor of music.

Speaker 3 I'm just not a huge country music fan. I think there are some great country songs.
There are some great country artists.

Speaker 3 Morgan's not my flavor. Now, that's not to knock his music.
I just don't really get into it. Okay, fine.
Whatever. But did you see where he

Speaker 3 walked off Saturday Night Live? Yes, God.

Speaker 3 Without saying, like doing the traditional goodbyes to everybody in the cast? Why?

Speaker 3 Why do that?

Speaker 7 I don't know. And then that's afterwards was when he tweeted.

Speaker 3 Tweeted or said, yeah, whatever.

Speaker 7 I got to get back to God's country or something. So I guess he just had to get out of there.
I don't know. He hated New York Saturday Night Live.
I'm not sure.

Speaker 3 First of all, it must be really nice to have a

Speaker 3 $26 million Lear jet waiting to take you to God's country. How tone deaf is that? I guarantee 99.999% of your fans

Speaker 3 probably

Speaker 3 will never sit in a private plane. Most of us may never even sit in first class again, let alone a private plane.
And then to tweet that I got to get back to God's country as if something is wrong.

Speaker 3 You know, it's like, it's just divisive. It doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 3 And walking off directly in front of the camera where you knew that was going to be out on live television in front of millions of people just seemed rude to me.

Speaker 3 Like Saturday Night Live, and I want to say this about Morgan Whalen. Wallen.
Whalen Wallen? Whalen Wallen? Whalen Wallen?

Speaker 3 I changed his name.

Speaker 3 AI.

Speaker 3 Um,

Speaker 3 when Morgan went through his drama where he was using expletives that most people should never utter out of their mouth because you're just a decent human being and that's the wrong thing to do, when he did, he was supposed to be on Saturday Night Live.

Speaker 3 When that all blew up, you're supposed to be on Saturday Night Live that week. Saturday Night Live obviously made the decision that it's too hot to trot right now.

Speaker 3 Uh, Lauren Michaels said, Yeah, I'm sorry, kid, you can't come on. Not now.
This is this, the kitchen is too hot. You got to get out.

Speaker 3 But six months later, they invited him back and they said, Okay, here's your shot. You know, here's your shot at redemption after we went on the apology tour.

Speaker 3 And I'm really sorry, and that's not, you know, who I am, and all that other stuff. Like, just like empty words that come out of every person's mouth when they get in trouble, but that

Speaker 3 they get caught being themselves, and all of a sudden, they have some different story or excuse as to why it happened. Welcome to 2025.

Speaker 3 Well, Saturday Night Live had him on six months, seven months later.

Speaker 3 So they invite him back for a second time, and it's not like, so you decide to go do the show, but it's not

Speaker 3 where you want to be. Why do the show at all? You're doing the show so that you can get attention because that's what people who are creative, that's what mainstream artists do.

Speaker 3 They have to go feed the machine.

Speaker 3 And you went and fed the machine and the people at Saturday Night Live and NBC and all the other people who are involved in that decision gave you the platform to do that.

Speaker 3 But you can't sit still for 15 seconds and just say goodbye to those people seems really rude. You don't have to love everybody on stage.
You don't have to love what they're about.

Speaker 3 You don't have to love their politics. You don't have to love who they love.
You don't have to do any of that. All you have to do is just stand there and say goodbye.
But you make a show of it.

Speaker 7 And to me, it's an honor to be on Saturday Night Live.

Speaker 3 Are you kidding me? Yeah. It's an honor.

Speaker 3 And I know that people like, some people may argue that that like Saturday Night Live is a bastion of liberal thinking and they're always beating up on conservative ideas.

Speaker 3 They're beating up on everybody. That's what they do.
And yes, are they, do they tend to lean liberal? Yes. A lot of people in Hollywood creative types do.

Speaker 3 That's, they just have empathy for other human beings. So that's how they lean.
But if it's good enough.

Speaker 3 that you can get yourself in front of 15, 16, 25 million people, then it's good enough to sit in the, with the 15 other artists and creators who are helping you get that message out, get your music out.

Speaker 3 It's good enough that you can stand there and be respectful for a second. Now, I'm not sure,

Speaker 3 I don't think anybody's yet found out whether Morgan even understood he was supposed to stand there, but that seems like would seem like a convenient excuse since he's been there before.

Speaker 3 He's done this another time. So I would say nay to Morgan.
First of all, don't invite him back. Second of all, Morgan, just be nice.
That's all you got to do is be nice and respectful.

Speaker 3 We don't all have to agree on politics or anything but can't we stand you know can't us as artists or creators just stand there and celebrate each other I mean whatever anyway who cares

Speaker 3 there's a girl on my Instagram I think I mentioned this the other day this girl on my Instagram she got catfished I don't know how I found this girl I don't know why I'm following her I'm following a bunch of people that I know

Speaker 3 because I found one of their reels funny or interesting and then I just followed him so I could follow up on it maybe for the show or whatever she

Speaker 3 got catfished by someone claiming to be Morgan Whalen's assistant, mother, brother, sister. She had this whole situation go down.

Speaker 3 And those people stole tens of thousands of dollars from her, like from her credit card. They asked to send money.

Speaker 3 She kept sending it on her, whatever it was, credit card or chase credit card or whatever. She kept sending them money through PayPal and Venmo and all this.

Speaker 3 Because they kept telling her that Morgan was going to invite her to wherever he lives and that they were going to have a date and that blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 3 Listen, I think you got to be pretty thick to believe that any famous person would reach out via social media, ask you for money, and then invite you on a date. Do you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 3 And I don't think Morgan, with his $28 million private jet where he's going to God's country, needs any help with.

Speaker 3 I don't think he needs tens of thousands of dollars from anybody, but let's make the assumption that the story was at all believable in the first place. Wouldn't you do a little checking?

Speaker 3 Like, wouldn't you talk to him on the phone, get him on a FaceTime, meet them in person? If Morgan wanted $20,000 from me, I'd meet them in person. Yeah.
Okay. So this whole thing goes down.

Speaker 3 And while this whole thing is going down, she's getting very, she's like one of these people who posts constantly, almost as if the screen is a friend and she's updated or a boyfriend or a husband or a wife or whatever.

Speaker 3 And she's updating them constantly on what's going on. Hey, here's what I had for breakfast.
Here's me brushing my teeth. Here's what I'm doing for my dance routine.
I almost got a job.

Speaker 3 I applied for this. I did that.
All of it kind of like stream of consciousness, a little weird. And I noticed there are a lot of people out there who are doing this.

Speaker 3 Three, four, five reels in an hour. And they're just like, it's as if they're talking to somebody in the room and who they're talking to is social media.

Speaker 3 If you're going to put yourself out there like that,

Speaker 3 you're likely going to have people that are. not going to be nice about what you're saying.
It's true. I've never said a word to this person, by the way.
I'm not that person.

Speaker 3 I don't don't jump in on the comments, but I like to read the comments. I just don't jump in on them.
So this whole thing is going down.

Speaker 3 She has this imaginary relationship going on with Morgan in her head, and she keeps talking about it, blah, blah, blah. Turns out he's not real.
They're not real.

Speaker 3 And after some months and some trying to get her money back from the credit card company and all this, it's just gone. It's lost.
The police are like, what do you want us to do?

Speaker 3 How are we supposed to find some random people? They're never hard to prosecute. They never get prosecuted.
Never. Unless there's like a firm trail of evidence.

Speaker 3 Those people are in, you know, Timbuktu. They're never, they're never going to get prosecuted for anything.
It's likely they barely know how to, you know,

Speaker 3 like barely know, they barely have a grocery store around them, let alone a police department that gives a shit.

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 3 all this goes on. She's lots of tears, lots of upsetness.
She goes on a local, not a local, but an internet. television show that's much like Catfish.

Speaker 3 It's actually called Online Catfish, but it's not the actual, it's not Niamh.

Speaker 3 it's like two other people i don't know if it's connected or not connected but it seems to be pretty popular okay and they do catfish stories so she gets picked to do one of these stories and the guy on the program the girl on the program are kind of level-headed and they're like didn't you have any indication that this might not be morgan whalen when morgan whalen is like he's talking you know he's talking to you on this on his mom's instagram account

Speaker 3 but he's actually playing a sold out show in los angeles like doesn't it seem like didn't you put two and two together that he might not be able to talk to you while he's doing a sold-out show?

Speaker 3 And sometimes she seems to get it. And other times she's like, well, he could have been backstate.
And it's like, oh, come on, lady. I mean, you know, honestly, sad.

Speaker 3 All this goes down. Show comes out.
She's very upset about how she was portrayed. But then here's the kicker.

Speaker 3 Over the last couple of weeks, she has started to talk to the camera about how she believes that she is owed, at least owed, a conversation with Morgan, like an invitation to meet with him and have a conversation since somebody else used his name to screw her over.

Speaker 3 And she thinks that

Speaker 3 if I just had a chance, if I just could meet him, then he would see what a beautiful relationship we can have. This is scary stalker type shit.
Now, I don't think she's like a dangerous person.

Speaker 3 She doesn't seem to be a dangerous or violent person. She seems to be very sweet, actually.

Speaker 7 For what she's showing you.

Speaker 3 What she's showing is right. Exactly.
She doesn't show us. Show me.
She doesn't show us cooking the rabbits and rabbits, too. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 3 But I just keep thinking to myself, I'm watching someone turn in real life. I'm watching someone turn a corner in real life.

Speaker 3 They have gone from, I had a really bad situation to almost full-blown delusional.

Speaker 3 Listen, I would love it if Dua Lipa would show up at my house.

Speaker 3 She could ask me for any amount of money. I wouldn't be able to give it to her, but she could ask.

Speaker 3 I'd try. Maybe I'd rob a bank bank or something for Dua.

Speaker 3 But if Dua came to my house and asked me for something and said, We could have a beautiful relationship, I'd say, Astrid, what do you think about

Speaker 3 Pollyanna?

Speaker 3 No, not for you.

Speaker 3 Well, take care of the kids and tell them I love them.

Speaker 3 I'm kidding,

Speaker 3 I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
I'd take the kids with me.

Speaker 3 Okay, so

Speaker 3 Dua Lipa is never going to reach out to Brian Brian Green or Chrissy Hoadley or my wife. Never.
Why?

Speaker 3 Because those people have lives that have their own friends and their own family members and they are very busy and they know better.

Speaker 3 It's like rule number one of fame. An agent somewhere, we've had agents that have told us this and we don't, and no one knows who the fuck the commercial break is.
Be careful about interactions.

Speaker 3 Be careful about interactions because people, you don't know who's on the other end of them and people can interact and react in all kinds of ways.

Speaker 3 But in my head, I just know that's never going to happen. Like Dua Lipa doesn't give a shit about Brian Greene, never will, never has, never will.
And with good reason, I'm an idiot.

Speaker 3 But this poor girl, she just doesn't seem to get it through her head. And I'm starting to believe that I'm watching her turn in real life.
It could be.

Speaker 3 A little delusional, like a therapist needs to intervene immediately.

Speaker 3 But second of all, this is really hard to date out there when you're just like, when you're hoping that Morgan Whalen's going to show up at your front door, it must be really difficult to be a single person in 2025.

Speaker 7 So, yes, from what I hear.

Speaker 3 I wish we'd go back to the good old days, Chrissy. Like the 80s or 90s when it was, you know, when literally Putang was, yeah, I mean, I wasn't dating in the 80s.

Speaker 3 Was I dating?

Speaker 3 Like when you're in second grade and you get a crush, is that a date? Like when you go to the all skate with somebody at the skating party? To like the movies? Couple skate. Yeah.

Speaker 3 A couple skate, hold hands, stuff like that. I don't know.
I don't know. Okay.

Speaker 3 Okay, in the 90s and 2000s, life just seemed a little easier. It seemed hard back then, but now I realize just how easy it was.
You literally walk into a bar and pussy be falling from the sky.

Speaker 3 No doubt, not really, but that's what mystery thinks. Anyway, in the 90s and 2000s, life was easier.
And that's why, Chrissy, I want to take us back to a simpler time this episode.

Speaker 3 And I want to catch up with Blind Date UK. Ooh.

Speaker 3 But first, do you have a good story for us so we can end this segment on a little bit of positivity? All right, tell us.

Speaker 7 Well, again, I highly recommend this newsletter. It's called Nice News.
Oh. Thale, and it comes to your inbox every day, first thing.

Speaker 7 So you can start with that before you get to the slush and dumpster fire stuff that's happening.

Speaker 7 So here's something. Paris Hilton, of all people,

Speaker 7 is helping women-owned businesses begin again after the Eaton fire.

Speaker 7 So just two months after her...

Speaker 7 Well, that fire is out in.

Speaker 3 Oh, the the eaten fire. Okay, I'm sorry.
They said after they've eaten fire. And I'm like, what? People are out there eating fire?

Speaker 3 Doesn't sound like good news to me. Okay.
All right.

Speaker 7 Yes. So just two months after Paris Hilton watched her Malibu home burn to the ground, she's already helping others rebuild their lives.

Speaker 7 The reality star and entrepreneur is harnessing her nonprofit 11-11 Media Impact to offer grants up to $25,000 to women-owned businesses impacted by the fire.

Speaker 3 Good for her.

Speaker 3 I got to be honest with you. I have liked Paris Hilton since day one.
I have liked her since day one, since that stupid fucking whatever.

Speaker 7 It's definitely been a fascination with her.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Nicole Ritchie, Paris Hilton. I was into it from day one.

Speaker 3 The simple life. I was into it from day one.
And I've always liked Paris Hilton. And I don't know why.
And I and I was with her one time at a bar. Oh, that's right.

Speaker 3 I was with her at a podcast conference one time. I watched her spin.
And I got to be honest, it wasn't bad. And she really seemed to be into it.

Speaker 7 And even though she was with kind of like a bunch of like old fat, you know, weird podcasters she gave us a party she threw a party yeah i think she kind of got a bad rap but i i know what you're saying she was just like kind of in that wheelhouse when we were younger yes and she was rich beautiful fun what do you think she's going through her teenage years in front of everybody and yeah there was drug use and alcohol of course like everybody goes through a lot of people especially celebrities yes like i hope to go through again yes i hope to go through it again but now she's married and she's has a baby and um she's come out talking about the that abusive school that she went to oh yeah like wilderness things or the wilderness

Speaker 3 things those things are terrible yeah i had friends that went to those i had friends that went to those yeah yeah i like paris i've always liked someone who's in on the joke i think it's i think that yeah we were talking with tim baltz uh go back and listen to um tim baltz's episode uh righteous gemstones shrink i'll put some links in the show notes so you can go see it but we had a great talk with him and

Speaker 3 we were talking with him and he was talking about Chris.

Speaker 3 Who's the guy? Chris,

Speaker 3 now I can't remember his name, but he was like this weird kind of stand-up comic, but kind of Andy Kaufman-ish. He had his own show for a while.

Speaker 3 Anyway, I always liked when someone had a persona, but they seemed to be in on the joke. When she was like, that's hot, and everyone was freaking out because they felt she was dumbing down society.

Speaker 3 I think she was just, her and Nicole were just in on the joke. They just got it.
They got the zeitgeist. They were the zeitgeist.
They were.

Speaker 3 And when the zeitgeist ended, she smartly went away and she came back,

Speaker 3 the real Paris Hilton. And that's enjoyable, too.
So I liked both versions of her and good for her helping out those

Speaker 3 ladies.

Speaker 3 Yeah. I mean, about $25,000.
Can't we put a little bit more in the tank? I mean, your dad owns Hilton. I mean, come on, let's go.
Your dad, your grandpa's Conrad. Come on, let's go.

Speaker 3 All right, let's take a break. And when we get back, Chrissy, we're going to do some Blind Date UK.
It's been a while, and I look forward to hearing what Celia Black has to say for us.

Speaker 3 Okay, we'll be back.

Speaker 8 Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on TCB. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue.

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Speaker 8 And then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break.

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Speaker 3 All right, and we're back. Listen, I said I was going to do Celia Black, Blind Date UK, but

Speaker 3 we actually got into it a little bit and figured out that we could not understand a fucking word that was being said. No, no, no, no, no, the accents were way thick.

Speaker 3 So we're going to bail on that, and I'm going to change it up a little bit. I still have 90s dating show material.
I've got lots of it.

Speaker 3 I think we should do, as a good backup plan here, I think we should do. Remember the show studs? Yes, God.
Studs. This is a.

Speaker 3 I know. We're talking like mid to late 90s, grunge era, new rock.
Think Kid Rock, Limp Biscuit, Paris Hilton era. Paris Hilton era.
That's right.

Speaker 3 And there was a show where they would take two or three men, two or three women, they would put them on couches, they would send them on dates, and then they would get their opinions of what happened afterwards on a couch.

Speaker 3 And once you win, I don't know who fucking knows, who fucking cares. That's not the point of the thing.
There's a host, he prods it along. And basically, here's how it goes.

Speaker 3 The people who went on the date, as they go on the dates with each other they write things down their impressions of what's going on and what's happening and then the host will read these options out did who said this

Speaker 3 and then they give them three options okay so i'm just telling you how it's gonna go here obviously the producers highly edit and can these responses no one is this quick-witted uh but you'll get it it's a fun

Speaker 3 bordering on sexual assault type of show. The 1990s were wild.
When you look back on it, it's like,

Speaker 3 where were we? What were we, what was was anyone thinking? How did we get away with this shit? And why do we get away with this shit? So

Speaker 3 let's take a look at studs here.

Speaker 3 Hey, how are you?

Speaker 6 Welcome, welcome, welcome to a very special week of shows here on studs all week long. It's Wild Women Week.

Speaker 7 Wild Women Week.

Speaker 3 Ooh. Ooh.

Speaker 7 What's your first

Speaker 3 show? No, this was on like UPN or the CW. I think it was like in that syndication.

Speaker 3 Back in the 90s, they started to do this syndication model television stand channels would pop up and what they would do is they would buy mainly syndicated television shows shows that were made that no network really wanted but they would buy them on the cheap syndicate them and then the syndicated show would take a cut of the revenue so so channels like cw upn wb all these channels popped up out of nowhere and they had very little original content but they were syndicating like you know judge judge judy studs all these dumb shows that no one else wanted, and they would put them on during the daytime or late at night.

Speaker 3 Studs was one of those shows. It floated around, depending on where he lived, because it was the local markets that would buy the show.

Speaker 6 Edition of that very special week of shows, we got a reversal show.

Speaker 3 We got a special week of shows. As if anybody got excited about studs.
Do you think someone came home and said, Mom, it's a special week of studs? I can't go to school.

Speaker 6 Three guys on the couch, two women over there.

Speaker 6 Are they oiling up?

Speaker 3 They might be because they're hot mud oil wrestler women look at hot mud oil wrestlers. I didn't know that was a profession.
I think that's aka porn star. I think that's what that means.

Speaker 3 No knock on the porn stars. No knock on the porn stars.

Speaker 7 No, I think that used to be a thing. Like they would have like oil wrestling

Speaker 3 or something like clubs. Yeah, they would travel around like regionally.
They had like these regional competitions. I remember that good old days.

Speaker 3 Do you remember good old days here in Atlanta on Milesville Road? Anybody who's hit and remembers, anybody who's lived in Atlanta for any period of time might remember good old days.

Speaker 3 First bar I went to, first bar I went to,

Speaker 3 and first night I went to that bar way back before the Olympics. Mud wrestling.
Mud wrestling. Yeah.
There you go.

Speaker 3 It was a thing.

Speaker 3 I tell you. And those girls knocked the shit out of each other, by the way.
I love this 90s

Speaker 3 logo design. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Ben Anders, the guys on the couch right next to me. 27-year-old underwear model Michelle KM.

Speaker 3 Give him a big damn. Underwear model, aka porn star.

Speaker 3 I mean, he's wearing like a

Speaker 7 sleeveless button down.

Speaker 3 That's classic. Why is his body so big and his head so small? You know what? Hey, look at that guy at the end.
Look at the guy at the end. The steroids.
Sterol.

Speaker 6 26-year-old Florian Coctor.

Speaker 3 Yeah, hot five, bro. Sweet.

Speaker 6 Contractor Ty Tay Go.

Speaker 3 Ty Tay Go. I love Ty Tago.

Speaker 7 He's got that hair from the, he's got the Kevin Bacon flash dance.

Speaker 3 He does have the, you're right about that, Kevin. That's a very, it was a very popular style, flat top, high, you know, they would like tease it up.

Speaker 3 It was that transition period between the 80s and 90s when you didn't quite know what to do with your hair.

Speaker 3 And by the way, if you like Tai Tay Go, you should try Tai Tay sitting down at the restaurant. It's delicious.
It's wonderful.

Speaker 6 And way down the end, 30-year-old land developer Milton Holmes the third.

Speaker 3 Milton Holmes the third land developer. developer.

Speaker 3 He's wearing a blazer.

Speaker 7 He's got cascading curls.

Speaker 3 Cascading curly hair, light blue blazer, white t-shirt, acid wash jeans, dark colored boots on.

Speaker 3 This is a time capsule right here. I'm going to show my kids this, and I'm going to tell them,

Speaker 3 I don't know. This was George Washington.
They're giving up for him.

Speaker 3 Yeah, high-five, high-five. Why are they high-fiving each other? What's that all about? I don't know.
Are they talking about that? Yeah, I think it's all the the testosterone.

Speaker 3 Makes them have to do something with their hands.

Speaker 5 Hard, flat, stomach, tight, butt.

Speaker 6 All right. Sounds pretty good.

Speaker 6 Ty, how about you?

Speaker 3 I love the host. Sounds pretty good? Sounds great.

Speaker 10 Someone who's just going to put up a big challenge, make me work for what I want.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 3 Says the guy who never wanted that. Says the guy who can't deal with anybody.
Michelle.

Speaker 6 I like a woman that has a nice body, long legs, nice breast, and a little bit of a, you know, an airhead. I like that.

Speaker 3 You like an airheaded girl? Yeah. A little bit of an airhead.
Airhead, huh? Interesting. Interesting.

Speaker 3 Beautiful airhead. Interesting angle there, my friend.

Speaker 3 Who cut the sleeves out?

Speaker 7 This is coming from the underwear model.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Who cut the sleeves out? Woo, woo, woo.
That's what I'm saying. It's a button down, too.
With a pocket. This is peak Ambercombian Fitch right here.

Speaker 6 You don't have to worry about what they're going to say. And, you know, no have to go into complications.
You can just lift things out.

Speaker 3 Complications? Like, what? A conversation? I think you meant to say conversation.

Speaker 3 Complications. Complications.
Like talking. Right.

Speaker 3 You have to deal with them. Oh, I know.
What a dub-dub.

Speaker 6 We got two wild women for today, Sherry and Tracy. Come on.

Speaker 3 Sherry and Tracy. Probably not their real names.

Speaker 3 Sherry, good to see you. Tracy, good to see you.
Have to see.

Speaker 4 That's classic.

Speaker 7 Classic 80s, 90s, too.

Speaker 3 Oh, this is this is night. I'm going to get it.
It's like Video Vixens. Yeah, I know.
Oh, yeah. Video Vixens.
That's right. Without knowing the actual year, I'm saying 9091 is probably.

Speaker 3 He's got to be. He's got to be because that hair is straight out of the 80s.

Speaker 3 Come, T-Bang.

Speaker 3 The guys in the crowd, they really hold themselves back. It's like they're animals in a cage.

Speaker 3 Why is she not showing her face?

Speaker 6 Right next to me, 29-year-old oil wrestler Sherry Amundsen.

Speaker 3 You give her a hand.

Speaker 7 She is straight out of a white snake video.

Speaker 3 Oh, she, yes.

Speaker 7 I mean, really.

Speaker 3 Honestly, you're right about that. That is, that's Brett Michaels, one of Brett Michaels' wives.

Speaker 6 And next to Sherry, she's 24. She's also an oil wrestler.
Give it up for Tracy Ray.

Speaker 3 What's wrong with Tracy Ray? Why is her hair covering half her face? I know she's got that going.

Speaker 6 Sit back, Trace.

Speaker 6 There you go.

Speaker 3 All right, ladies. This is back when breast implants came in one size and one size only.
Huge.

Speaker 6 Go on a date. We pay for it.
Fair enough. We're going to start out with a Ben Stiller hairy backhart.

Speaker 3 Ben Stiller?

Speaker 3 Ben Stiller, Harry Backhart. I don't even know what that means.

Speaker 3 Ben Stiller, hairy backheart.

Speaker 6 Oil in this would get all clumpy.

Speaker 3 So we'll keep it non-oil-free. Yeah, sure.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but why would we know that Ben Stiller has a hairy back at this time in life?

Speaker 3 Remember, it's like the brief Ben Stiller show on MTV.

Speaker 3 It was a brief moment in time when it was like part late night talk show, part like comedy sketches, kind of SNL.

Speaker 3 Maybe that's what he's referring to.

Speaker 6 When you're getting ready to go out on a date, how long does it take you?

Speaker 4 An hour. Maybe more.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 3 Oh, that hair?

Speaker 3 It doesn't surprise me. An hour.

Speaker 6 All right, so we asked the guys if they were pleased when they first saw you, Sherry. Here's what they told us.
One of the guys said, her honey-dipped hair had my drool glands working overtime.

Speaker 3 Her honey-dipped hair hair had my drool glands working overtime. Said no one ever.

Speaker 6 And the second guy said, A flutter of those baby blues, and I was Mr.

Speaker 3 Happy.

Speaker 3 Said none of the guys on this couch.

Speaker 6 And the third guy said, You gotta love a woman whose breasts have their own zip code.

Speaker 3 So you can.

Speaker 3 Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 Oh, my God. This is so peak 90s.

Speaker 3 And the three guys on the couch supposedly said these things, but clearly, none of these guys have

Speaker 3 two brain cells to wrap together, let alone make a comment like that.

Speaker 4 You gotta love a woman whose breasts have their own zip code must be Milty.

Speaker 3 Milt?

Speaker 3 I can't get over his hair. It looks like a wig.

Speaker 7 It does.

Speaker 3 It really does.

Speaker 7 I think it's the first guy.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I think it's the first guy, too. I'm just saying, Milt.

Speaker 5 That flutter of those baby blues.

Speaker 6 She does have blue eyes. That's pretty.

Speaker 6 You like that? Yes. So, what'd you think when you first saw her?

Speaker 5 I figured she was just mine, mine, mine.

Speaker 3 Oh, me like woman. Oh, me like tit ass.
Yes.

Speaker 7 Mine, mine.

Speaker 3 Mine, mine, mine. That's all I could say.
Mine, mine, mine. You know, Gree.

Speaker 6 When you first saw him, Sherry, pretty much the same thing.

Speaker 4 Really?

Speaker 3 Yeah. But you know what?

Speaker 3 All right. Who actually.

Speaker 7 She likes Milton.

Speaker 3 Get down on her knees. Close, clean floor.
Blow dick.

Speaker 3 That

Speaker 3 Michelle

Speaker 6 would that be the new nine-digit zip code or the old five-digit zip code nine-digits really

Speaker 3 like a

Speaker 6 busty woman? No, you said that earlier. Sure, I mean, I like it when there's something there.

Speaker 3 Sure.

Speaker 6 Is she

Speaker 6 too smart for you?

Speaker 3 No, she's not.

Speaker 3 What did you think when you first met Michelle? Sherry?

Speaker 3 No, she's not. No.

Speaker 4 I I basically didn't think anything. You're right.
I just kind of lost brain freeze because he's so attractive.

Speaker 3 Really? Oh, she likes him. Okay.
She goes for that small-headed air big forehead kind of look. Yeah.
Do you notice his forehead just moves right into his hair? It does. Like it's no transition there.

Speaker 3 All right.

Speaker 6 Let's try and get over this gridlock. We're going to move on to you, Tracy.

Speaker 6 When you talk to a guy on the phone, can you tell anything substantive about him?

Speaker 4 You can tell whether he's sexy or not or self-confident.

Speaker 3 Really? Whoa, listen to that voice. Ooh.
How?

Speaker 4 By the tone of his voice and how he speaks.

Speaker 6 Alright, well, we asked them what they thought of you when they talked to you on the phone.

Speaker 3 Oh, God. Yeah, and here's how you're talking about it.

Speaker 3 They talked on the phone?

Speaker 3 I have no idea what's going on here, actually. I thought they went on a date ahead of time, but maybe I'm wrong about that.
I didn't watch studs for the actual Minutia.

Speaker 3 And I only think I watched a couple of episodes, but I do remember it being a mainstay of daytime television for a while there. Her savage growl made me feel like king of the jungle.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 6 Second guy said that dreamy voice is as smooth as satin sheets.

Speaker 6 And a third guy said sexual, straightforward. Oh my god, it's Dr.
Ruth.

Speaker 7 But wait, this had to be more than the phone call because they had to say what they thought of.

Speaker 3 What they looked like. That's right.
Now, either they looked at photographs or they saw each other in person.

Speaker 4 That savage girl made me feel like the king of the jungle would probably maybe be Michelle.

Speaker 3 Oh. No, I don't say anything like that.

Speaker 6 What'd you say, Michelle? I said sexual, straightforward. Oh my god, it's Dr.

Speaker 3 Really?

Speaker 6 What'd you talk about on the phone? Well, I could talk about anything and shoe and mind. I mean, we could just talk about let your mind work and figure it out.

Speaker 3 Let your mind work.

Speaker 3 Your mind works. It's a bit complicated.
I know.

Speaker 6 Yeah, was he a good conversationalist on the phone?

Speaker 4 He is.

Speaker 6 I don't know. Who said king of the jungle? Who felt like the king of the jungle?

Speaker 3 That was Milk!

Speaker 3 King of the mobile home park, perhaps.

Speaker 3 Listen to the hosts. Geez, I like this host.
He's savage.

Speaker 6 What'd you talk about?

Speaker 5 We talked about wet things, oceans, and

Speaker 5 fun things that we don't want to talk about here.

Speaker 6 What'd you talk about with Milk?

Speaker 3 Sing in, baby. I don't even understand what's going on.

Speaker 3 First of all, second of all, the girl on the couch, Tracy or Lacey or whatever her name is, she cannot stop wiping her nose. Oh.
Yeah, but again, this is the

Speaker 3 early 90s, late 80s, coming out of the, you know, everybody was high back then.

Speaker 4 You know, we just basically talked about getting together and going somewhere because everything was just so

Speaker 4 spread of the moment, but we liked that.

Speaker 3 Well, good.

Speaker 6 All right, we'll come back. We'll see what happened on those four days.

Speaker 3 We'll come back. We have no substance whatsoever in this segment.
Let's get to the next segment. I'm so confused.
Me too.

Speaker 3 too what's going on do they like each other do they not like each other but they apparently have been on a date yeah well hey listen let's let's find out in the next segment okay

Speaker 3 okay move along here we go sorry there's some space for the commercial

Speaker 3 Sherry

Speaker 6 How can you tell if a guy's having a good time when he's out with you?

Speaker 4 Body language, definitely.

Speaker 6 Show me body language that says, hey, I'm having a good time with you, Sherry.

Speaker 4 If they lean forward and look in your eyes and

Speaker 4 try to touch you, generally, that says we're having a good time.

Speaker 6 We asked the guys what they enjoyed most about their dates with you. Sherry, here's the thing.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so they have been on dates. Okay, so we got that down.

Speaker 6 They told us one guy said, nothing gets me hotter than a woman with a talented tongue.

Speaker 3 Oh, my God.

Speaker 7 Well, and also, too, I'm confused on the matching up to the person.

Speaker 3 I think they all went on dates with each other. Yeah.
So I'm assuming they all went on dates with each other. I thought that's how this goes.

Speaker 3 I think think they all go on dates with each other, probably talk on the phone. They get to know each other ahead of time.
Yeah. But, like, who's writing these? Perverted Dr.
Seuss?

Speaker 3 I mean, honestly, it's so weird. Nothing gets me hotter than a woman with a talented tongue.
That's just not something a human being would say. No.

Speaker 6 Second guy said, the second guy said, Hail, Sherry, Queen of the Quivering Hips.

Speaker 6 And the third guy said, This girl really knows how to put a knot in my paint.

Speaker 3 A knot in my pain.

Speaker 3 A knot in my pants. Good lord.
Oh my God, the innuendos here are terrible.

Speaker 4 This girl really knows how to put a knot in my pants, Ty?

Speaker 3 Nope. No.

Speaker 3 Nope. Who else did you sleep with?

Speaker 3 Nope.

Speaker 3 What'd you say, Ty? Hail Sherry, queen of the quivering hips. Really? Why is that?

Speaker 10 We went dancing, and she's a very good dancer.

Speaker 6 Is Ty a pretty good dancer, Sherry? Yes, he is. Okay.
Did he make a good good wrestler?

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 I mean, that is good. Personality is flowing out of all these

Speaker 3 people. I mean, honestly,

Speaker 3 no one has any personality.

Speaker 7 I think, like, going out and going dancing used to be a big way to go on a day. It did.

Speaker 3 Birthday. You know, Astrid has been telling me since the day that we met.
And

Speaker 3 I'm not a dancer. And no one's ever going to claim that Brian Green is a good dancer.
But I'm also not afraid to dance. I figure, just let it loose.
You know, I like dancing.

Speaker 3 And so, you know, if you don't like my dancing, you don't have to watch me. Right.
But Astrid says that where she comes from and in Spain, it's not unusual to go somewhere and dance. Go dancing, yeah.

Speaker 3 Because that is a night out. You sit down for a nice meal, you go dancing.
I kind of like that.

Speaker 7 Where could we do that here?

Speaker 3 Not at the Bill Murray concert, that's for sure.

Speaker 3 We can do it at places like, I guess, tongue and grew. I mean, there's some places out there, but like, you got to bring a bulletproof vest to some of these places.
You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 3 It's so dangerous at three o'clock in the morning with people that some people are just out there having fun, but then others are in the club doing. You know, we've been to clubs.

Speaker 3 We know what happens at the clubs. Just back then, you weren't allowed to carry a

Speaker 3 firearm everywhere you went.

Speaker 4 Well, I could pin him up.

Speaker 3 I'm sure you could.

Speaker 6 Who really got a knot put in their pants? Who was that?

Speaker 6 Oh, Milt Holmes III.

Speaker 3 What happened with Erin, Milt? What did you guys do? Well, I got a boner.

Speaker 5 Well, we were out dancing ourselves, and one thing led to another, and she ran over to someone else and grabbed their tie and shoved it down my pants.

Speaker 3 Tie?

Speaker 3 What? What?

Speaker 3 That's an interesting dance move I haven't heard about before.

Speaker 3 Let me stuff random socks down your pants.

Speaker 7 Someone's tie?

Speaker 3 Someone's tie. First of all, where did you get the tie? Who's giving you the tie?

Speaker 3 Yeah, second of all, you put it down his pants. Third of all, did you give the tie back is what I want to know.
I said, I don't.

Speaker 3 I loved it. What happened?

Speaker 3 I have this fetish for ties.

Speaker 3 I like this guy's tie, and I got him tie it to him.

Speaker 4 And I didn't want to lose it, so yeah.

Speaker 6 It's a good thing she doesn't have a fetish for shoes.

Speaker 3 Tracy!

Speaker 6 When you think a guy's good-looking, cute, what do you do? How do you let him know? Tell them straight out. You just say, hey, what would you say?

Speaker 4 Say you're really cute or you're really attractive or...

Speaker 3 You are hot.

Speaker 3 You really get my goose? I love you,

Speaker 3 whatever.

Speaker 6 You really, you've actually said that to a guy, you really get my goose?

Speaker 3 Yeah, they get my goose, yeah. Yeah, like anybody has said any of these things you're talking about today.
Come on, dude.

Speaker 3 All right, well, we asked, but have you noticed that brooch keeps moving all over her shirt? It looks like a jaguar or something.

Speaker 6 We asked if there were any geeselings over here on the dates, and here's what they said: one of the guys said,

Speaker 6 Her legs are as long as the stairway to heaven.

Speaker 6 Second guy said, I envy the lint and that sweet little innie.

Speaker 3 That's disgusting.

Speaker 3 My OCD just kicked in.

Speaker 6 The third guy said, from the tips of her acrylics to the depths of her D-cups, this babe is one big boy.

Speaker 3 Boing.

Speaker 3 Another big fit, another boner joke in.

Speaker 3 Dave on our staff's the boner joke writer. He gets one in every time.
Good job, Dave. Shy five.

Speaker 3 Oh, my God.

Speaker 4 I envy the Linton that sweet little innie. It's got to be Milton.

Speaker 3 There you go. Milt!

Speaker 3 The first part of the night. Oh, the back shirt.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 3 Yeah, they give you a trinket with hair from Ben Stiller. I don't know what's going on.

Speaker 6 What are you talking about there, Milton?

Speaker 5 Well, when I first saw her, she had a pirate shirt on. And all I could see besides her beautiful breasts were that little belly button.

Speaker 7 She had a pirate shirt. What'd you guys do on your shirt?

Speaker 3 She had a pirate shirt on. Like, arg, that kind of pirate? Or what are we talking about?

Speaker 4 We went to go to this one bar, and there was a line around the door, so we said the heck with them. And we went to a real, very nice posh bar next door.

Speaker 4 And we had a very nice time, except for the fact that he squeezed both my breasts together like they were cookie dough.

Speaker 3 Oh, a little sexual assault in the date. Huh, Milt? Milt Jr.
III, or whatever is the Milt Jr. III.

Speaker 3 I'm a land developer. Hada.

Speaker 3 Even the host knows he went too far on that one.

Speaker 6 Sometimes the dough is better than the actual cookie.

Speaker 3 And there he's a round.

Speaker 3 What?

Speaker 3 I don't even know.

Speaker 3 That made no sense.

Speaker 3 He's quick-witted in a weird way.

Speaker 6 His legs are

Speaker 6 as long as the stairway to heaven or

Speaker 7 the first guy because he talked about legs.

Speaker 3 That's right. By the way, do we just skip over the assault part of the night? Like, I mean, don't we have to follow up on that? Like, why are you grabbing her breasts like that?

Speaker 6 From the tips of her acrylics to the depths of her D-cups, this babe is one big boy.

Speaker 4 Her legs are as long as the stairway to heaven. Maybe Ty?

Speaker 3 Nope. Oh, I knew it.
Nope.

Speaker 3 Oh, Ty. Ty's losing on all fronts.
Look at Ty on the couch. He just looks like he's lost.

Speaker 3 And what'd you say?

Speaker 10 I said from the tips of her acrylics.

Speaker 3 Well, we know what he said because there's only two choices, you dumb-dumb.

Speaker 10 To the depth of her D-cup, this lady's one big boy.

Speaker 6 What do you mean by that?

Speaker 3 Bang! Showing that.

Speaker 3 Cookie doll milk.

Speaker 5 That's what they felt like to me.

Speaker 6 It's that delicious tall house taste.

Speaker 3 Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 That's pretty funny, actually.

Speaker 3 Soft batch.

Speaker 3 She said, soft badge cookies.

Speaker 6 You usually get romantic on on a first date with a guy?

Speaker 4 If there's chemistry there, yeah.

Speaker 6 If there's schmeck in there, yeah. Well, we asked the guys if there was any romance on their dates with you, and here's what they told us.

Speaker 3 One of them said, Oh, yeah, good. Let's get down to the good parts.

Speaker 6 The Pacific Ocean is just a puddle compared to our deep desire.

Speaker 3 Oh, okay.

Speaker 6 Second guy said, Our mouths fit together like a cork in a champagne bottle.

Speaker 6 Third guy said, the only way I'll forget our passion is to have my brain removed.

Speaker 3 Boo-yo-you-y-y-y-y-y-ying.

Speaker 4 Our mouths put together like a cork in a champagne bottle. It's Michelle.

Speaker 3 There you go. Yeah, that's right.
I stuck my tongue down her throat. I showed her my underwear modeling photographs.
Boo-yo-yo-you-you-you-ying.

Speaker 6 So, what'd you get to on your base?

Speaker 3 We went to a restaurant and we ended up kissing after a while. At the restaurant.

Speaker 6 Yeah, in front of everybody. And it was getting a little bit too much kissing, you know.
So what'd you do? Well, we stopped and we went somewhere else. Where'd you go?

Speaker 3 that doesn't concern you

Speaker 4 oh that's that spicy

Speaker 3 wow

Speaker 6 you're obviously not a regular viewer michelle

Speaker 4 where'd you go sherry we had a hotel room so i can do it

Speaker 3 wow it's the whiz bang 90s kids

Speaker 3 get after it get on it hey listen two consenting adults can have a good time right chrissy of course i don't know i don't oppose i don't object, Your Honor.

Speaker 3 Nice little Telborne?

Speaker 3 No.

Speaker 6 So that's where the date ended.

Speaker 6 All right, well, you get to go again there.

Speaker 6 Pacific Ocean is just a puddle compared to our deep desire, or the only way I'll forget our passion is to have my brain removed.

Speaker 4 The only way I'll forget our passion is to have my brain removed.

Speaker 3 Milty?

Speaker 3 Milty. Nope.
Milty.

Speaker 6 What'd you say, Milty?

Speaker 3 We know what he said. It's the only choice left.

Speaker 3 Geez, you don't have to repeat the dumb line four times.

Speaker 3 Hey, do me a favor. We're not saying my boner line's enough.
Can we repeat them?

Speaker 5 The Pacific Ocean is just a puddle compared to our deep desire.

Speaker 6 Really? What do you mean by that?

Speaker 5 Well, compared to our desire for each other, I think the Pacific Ocean is just

Speaker 3 okay.

Speaker 3 Okay, yeah, we got it. You just repeated the line again.
The same backwards and forwards, Melt.

Speaker 6 We're not diagramming sentences here. We're trying to move ahead.
Why were you so desirous of Sherry? Give me some reasons.

Speaker 5 Oh, the way she touches me, the way she holds me.

Speaker 3 The way she holds you? What are you two? The way she holds you. The way she holds me.

Speaker 3 I don't know. It's just funny to hear that coming out of that man's mouth.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Even she's like creepy.

Speaker 6 Two pretty damn good reasons, Sherry.

Speaker 6 Tracy?

Speaker 3 you uh, when you're out with a guy that you're all right, okay, let's take a break. And uh, then when we come back, we'll uh, this is a very interesting time capsule here, Chrissy.

Speaker 3 I really am enjoying this. Okay, we'll be back.

Speaker 3 Let me do something Brian has never done. Be brief.

Speaker 8 Follow us on Instagram at the Commercial Break. Text or call us 212-433-3TCB.
That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website, tcbpodcast.com, for all the audio, video, and your free sticker.

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It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters.

Speaker 3 See, Brian, that really wasn't that difficult now, was it? You're welcome.

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Speaker 3 All right, we're back reviewing the early 90s daytime television dating show studs because why not name it studs get another boner joke in there

Speaker 6 like do you give them any signals to let them know that uh you're getting ready to get romantic yeah what kind of signals just

Speaker 4 touch them

Speaker 4 all right all right take their hand and put their hand on

Speaker 3 like a baby she said i put their hand in a place where let's hear that again what kind of signals?

Speaker 6 I touch them.

Speaker 3 Oh,

Speaker 4 or I or I take their hand and put their hand on part of me, or I kiss them, or wait for them to kiss me, and then I so you don't mind making the first one.

Speaker 3 Wow, she seems really jittery, doesn't she? She does. No, not at all.
Okay.

Speaker 3 Her brooch is gone. Yeah, that brooch is gone.
It went right down her shirt.

Speaker 4 Someone's going to make it, and if they may be too inhibited at the time to do it, hell, I'm going to do it because I'm not going to miss out on a chance of a lifetime.

Speaker 3 Chance of a lifetime.

Speaker 3 I'm sorry, young lady. I'm sure you have lots of chances of a lifetime.
You're a pretty good-looking girl.

Speaker 3 I don't think many guys turned you down.

Speaker 6 Well, we asked the guys about your romantic moves. And when one of the guys said she whipped out her gum and chewed my face instead.

Speaker 6 Second guy said that mouth is more than fast. It's downright supersonic.

Speaker 6 And the third guy said, a rip here, a tear there, and lips and clothes were everywhere.

Speaker 7 Wow, see. Did everybody just hook up with everybody?

Speaker 3 I think that's what goes on here. Yes.
I think the premise of the show is we'll give you $100, get a motel room, fuck each other, and come back and tell us all about it. Go dancing.

Speaker 3 But only in innuendos. Oh, my God.

Speaker 4 A rip here and a tear there. Lips and clothes were everywhere.
It's got to be Milton.

Speaker 3 Milton.

Speaker 3 Yeah, good old Milty.

Speaker 3 What's that mean, Milt?

Speaker 5 Well, what that means is we were having a pretty good time when we left the bar, and we pretty much did the streets of San Diego.

Speaker 3 You did the streets of San Diego. I'm not even.
Is that lingo that I'm not understanding? I did the streets of San Diego.

Speaker 6 Your date with Milty end up, Tracy?

Speaker 3 After you're driving around the city streets around the corner, he jizzed on the wall of the bar.

Speaker 3 It's for a while.

Speaker 4 But then it ended up the next morning.

Speaker 3 Whoa.

Speaker 3 Yeah, because we were doing blow all night long. I'm sure of it.

Speaker 3 Fun evening?

Speaker 4 Yeah, kind of sticky.

Speaker 3 Oh,

Speaker 3 Jesus

Speaker 3 Christ. I have mercy.
What is going on? Oh, my God. I can't believe this didn't get censored.

Speaker 3 He poured Dr.

Speaker 6 Pepper on me. So you're part of the Pepper Generation now.
I suppose. She whipped out her gum and chewed my face instead.
Or that mouth is more than fast. It's downright supersonic.

Speaker 4 That mouth

Speaker 4 is more than fast. It's downright supersonic.

Speaker 3 Shump. No, it's not.
Oh, no. I missed out on that one.
The poor metal guy just keeps getting

Speaker 3 safters. And why are we not asking a follow-up question about Dr.
Pepper being poured on you? I mean, come on, host. Whatever your name is.

Speaker 3 Ambiguous host from the 90s dating shows.

Speaker 3 He looks kind of familiar.

Speaker 3 Oh, he was like a host of a bunch of these type of shows.

Speaker 6 She wiped out the gun out of her and chewed my face instead.

Speaker 3 Really? Yes. Where were you? Well, we were in my car and we were going to kiss.

Speaker 3 Hold on, wait, stop.

Speaker 3 Come out.

Speaker 3 Here, I'm ready.

Speaker 3 It's going to sing a man a lullaby. Sing a man a lullaby.
I don't.

Speaker 3 The writing on this show.

Speaker 3 It was horrific. Of course we do.

Speaker 3 Judging by the reaction in the crowd, studs was pretty popular.

Speaker 3 He's on earth. Welcome back.

Speaker 6 All right, ladies, before the show, we got these guys rounded up and they gave us some descriptions of you. You tell me who they're talking about.
I'll give you a heart.

Speaker 6 How many hearts you got there, Sherry? One. And how many do you have, Tracy? Woo, boy.
We're going to the heart bankruptcy now.

Speaker 3 We're giving them something away.

Speaker 3 Sherry.

Speaker 6 According to these three guys, who's most likely to have a teddy bear collection, you or Tracy?

Speaker 6 Me.

Speaker 6 She says, Sherry, guys. Sherry.

Speaker 3 Hold me. You can get a heart with hair, back hair on it.

Speaker 6 Girls have petty back. You got any stuffed animals at your house?

Speaker 3 No, just me.

Speaker 3 Yeah, just

Speaker 3 white snake posters on the wall. Beer cans.

Speaker 6 Tracy, who's most likely to sing a man a lullaby, you or Sherry? Probably Sherry. Probably Sherry, she says.
Guys?

Speaker 3 Sherry. There you go.

Speaker 3 Hi, Michelle.

Speaker 3 Well, she says,

Speaker 6 Sherry's the kind of romantic person that would do that kind of thing. And would that make a big impression on you? Yeah, I guess it would.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I like to be sung to like a baby. Because my mom still does that to me every Tuesday and Thursday night.
I call her up and I say, hey, mom,

Speaker 3 baby.

Speaker 6 What song would you like to hear?

Speaker 3 What song would I like to hear? French song.

Speaker 6 A French song. Okay, Ferry Jacques.

Speaker 3 Sherry.

Speaker 3 Who's going to iron her underpants?

Speaker 6 You or Tracy?

Speaker 6 Tracy. Tracy, guys?

Speaker 3 Tracy's like, huh?

Speaker 3 Tracy.

Speaker 3 Hey, man, iron her underpin her under her pants. Yeah, it's iron her underpants because when you're high in cocaine, you do a lot of that stuff.

Speaker 5 Well, as an oiler wrestler, I think those underwear would get quite a bit of airtime.

Speaker 3 I wish they had a sound effect, like that buoying sound effect, so I could play it. Underwear, Tracy?

Speaker 3 I'm not telling you. All right.

Speaker 3 Tracy. Hi.

Speaker 3 All right. On to the next one.
No got time. Got four of these to record today.

Speaker 6 So I got a hit on her date's best friend, you or Sherry.

Speaker 3 Oh, her, for sure.

Speaker 3 Probably me.

Speaker 3 Probably me.

Speaker 6 Have you ever?

Speaker 4 Actually, no, I guess Sherry.

Speaker 4 Definitely Sherry before me.

Speaker 3 Definitely. You're sure.

Speaker 3 You're sure. Yeah.

Speaker 3 All right.

Speaker 6 She says, Sherry, guys.

Speaker 3 Tracy.

Speaker 10 She's just an outgoing, aggressive type girl. I just think if she sees what she wants, she's going to go get it.

Speaker 3 Uh-huh. Just like I did with my hairstyle.

Speaker 3 Sherry,

Speaker 3 who's most likely... By the way, who's talking in the background? There's like a bunch of conversation going on in the background.
Is there another television show being filmed in the same room?

Speaker 6 Prepare a man, breakfast, and bed. You or Tracy?

Speaker 6 Me.

Speaker 6 She says it's her, guys. Sherry.

Speaker 3 There you go, Sherry. You are cute.

Speaker 3 The whole show, you're doing like boner innuendos and sexual conversation, and I get the most milquetoast questions I've ever heard.

Speaker 5 Well, if Sherry brought me breakfast in bed, I just would never want to stop eating.

Speaker 3 Sure?

Speaker 3 Did you hear that guy in the background?

Speaker 6 Tracy, who's most likely to hide a video camera in her bedroom? Me.

Speaker 3 Duh. Why?

Speaker 3 Why?

Speaker 3 Because I'm a porn star.

Speaker 6 Because I really think she has one.

Speaker 3 Was that?

Speaker 6 Because I really believe she has one.

Speaker 3 I feel like a little house here. Is real?

Speaker 4 If I did, it wouldn't be a secret anymore, and then it'd kind of blow it, wouldn't it?

Speaker 6 I don't know, would it?

Speaker 3 I don't know. I'm not serious.
I don't know.

Speaker 3 God.

Speaker 6 Prefer high-end or VHSC?

Speaker 3 High-end.

Speaker 3 Here you go. Come on back.
I'm going to find out which one of these ladies is.

Speaker 6 The queen of all shik-de-veys.

Speaker 3 The queen of what? All shik deves. I don't know.
Who cares, honestly? Look at that crowd. Wow, that's a snap shout of 1991 if I've ever seen one.

Speaker 3 Hey, hi, welcome back.

Speaker 6 Welcome back to the first in a week-long series on studs all week long. It's Wild Women Week.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 7 What was that?

Speaker 3 It was a lion noise because the sound effects back then didn't work all that well. It was a lion noise.

Speaker 3 A lion noise.

Speaker 6 Come on, Strong, there, you got four hearts. How many do you have, Tracy?

Speaker 6 It's a tie. We could give away two fabulous ultimate fantasy dates.
Oh, wouldn't that be special?

Speaker 3 Ultimate fantasy.

Speaker 6 Call it in the air, Cherry.

Speaker 6 You're right. So you're going to start.

Speaker 3 You tell me who you want to go up to.

Speaker 6 If he picks you, you get to go and we pay for it automatically. Okay.

Speaker 4 Well, I didn't pick Michelle, even though it's really tough. All you guys are great.
He's very romantic, but I just, I didn't pick him.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 4 And I didn't pick Ty.

Speaker 3 And I didn't pick Ty because he's ugly.

Speaker 4 I didn't pick Ty, even though he's such a gentleman. And I had a great, great time with him.
But since Milty gave me the kiss of death, I picked him.

Speaker 3 Milty? Oh, look at Milty with that long silky hair.

Speaker 7 Is his name actually Milty or

Speaker 3 Milton?

Speaker 3 Milton Jr. 4th the 3rd or something.
I don't know. What if Milty picks you, then what?

Speaker 4 I want to go to Costa Rica.

Speaker 3 Costa Rica?

Speaker 3 You want to go to Costa Rica? What? Wow, okay. Wow.
One date and you're already off to Costa Rica? Sounds pretty cool.

Speaker 4 Toes in the sand, cocktail in the hand.

Speaker 4 What else could you?

Speaker 6 You gotta love that. All right, Tracy, you're tied.
You could go too. What's it gonna be?

Speaker 4 Well, it's not gonna be.

Speaker 6 Why don't you start there?

Speaker 4 Well, it's not going to be Milton. Sorry.

Speaker 3 Oh.

Speaker 4 We had a very good time, but he also ripped my favorite pirate shirt.

Speaker 3 But wait, I thought you guys ended the date in the morning. Doing the streets? Doing the streets of San Diego.
I mean, what more could you ask for?

Speaker 3 He also squeezed your breasts together like a roll of Play-Doh. I don't know.
Something about the cookies.

Speaker 6 I would just think that makes you look more like a real pirate, Tracy.

Speaker 3 Go ahead.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 Michelle, I had a wonderful time, but it seemed,

Speaker 7 I don't know.

Speaker 7 Oh, Ty.

Speaker 3 Oh, it's a Ty.

Speaker 3 Well, no, one big Milton. Oh, Ty, yeah.
Oh, I thought Ty was certainly going to be the loser here, but Ty.

Speaker 4 I went until later on, but it was almost too later on.

Speaker 6 Okay, therefore.

Speaker 3 I'm picking Ty. Ty, all right.
Oh, Ty is the silent, strong type. Look at him.
Ty this crazy.

Speaker 4 Disney World or back to ties?

Speaker 6 Disney World or back to ties?

Speaker 3 Both are eaten tickets. I'm here.
He has the best cocaine.

Speaker 3 All right.

Speaker 6 Michelle, neither of the guys, neither the ladies picked you.

Speaker 6 And I don't think those guys picked you either, so you're off the hook there.

Speaker 6 Did you have a good time?

Speaker 3 I had a good time. I had a great time.
Well, good.

Speaker 6 Thanks for coming down. Would you show us who you picked there?

Speaker 3 Sherry.

Speaker 3 All right.

Speaker 6 Sherry, you picked Milty Milty. If you pick Sherry, you could be off on a fanboost trip to Costa Rica.

Speaker 7 I mean, you just decide where you want to go?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I guess that's it. That's what happens.
They just pay for you to go somewhere. By the way, I love this show now.
Can we? Yeah. I want an all-expense paid trip to all of Europe.
Yeah, no, right.

Speaker 3 Sherry.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah. All right.
They're going to Costa Rica.

Speaker 3 Time.

Speaker 6 If you pick Tracy, not only are they going to Costa Rica, but you're...

Speaker 3 He's very excited. Yeah, he does.

Speaker 6 Go to Disney World or back to your place. What's it going to be?

Speaker 10 Going home anyway.

Speaker 3 Oh! Oh!

Speaker 3 Shocker!

Speaker 3 He revealed that he was a bad person. He said neither.

Speaker 3 Wow. Okay.
I think he felt like he probably wouldn't get picked, and he didn't want to be. What a dumb-dumb.

Speaker 3 Everybody up. Up, up, up, up, up.

Speaker 3 Say goodbye here.

Speaker 3 Moving.

Speaker 3 I didn't see that coming.

Speaker 3 I didn't see that coming either. I didn't know neither was going to be a choice.

Speaker 3 All right, maybe we'll do another Wild Woman week. You never know.
That was good. I like that.
All right.

Speaker 3 I didn't know what to expect there, but I ended up going, wow, I should have watched more of this as a child.

Speaker 3 This is completely mindless television that I would have enjoyed.

Speaker 3 Oh, wow. Studs.
Now available everywhere you get YouTube.

Speaker 3 Milty's jacket is. I know.
Well, that was the style back then. Your jacket went below your butt.

Speaker 3 Yeah, now your pants don't even go all the way down to your socks. That's the style.
I mean,

Speaker 3 but it'll come back. Everything always does.
It'll come back. Guys will be wearing, you know, jackets down to their knees again, like some ska band.

Speaker 3 I'll figure it out.

Speaker 3 That was fun. I like that.
I'm glad we made that switch last minute because we would not have understood anything.

Speaker 3 I'll get back to Celia Black I'll find an episode where we can actually hear it the thing is is that if you can't understand it by just listening then it defeats the purpose of doing a podcast

Speaker 3 yes that's right Celia Black I got a knot in my pants

Speaker 3 All right, just a quick reminder that on May 31st, Chrissy and I will be doing, Chrissy and I will be recording and publishing 12 episodes of the commercial break and what we're calling the 12 hours of TCB, celebrating five years of the commercial break as a podcast and mental health awareness month for May.

Speaker 3 So tune in, mark your calendars. Looks like we're going to be doing a live recording that day also.
We'll broadcast it on Twitch and possibly YouTube.

Speaker 3 Also, April 16th, 17th, and 18th, I would like you to call into the commercial break while we are recording. We will answer the phone call.
You will get to choose what you talk about.

Speaker 3 Anything, everything, whatever. We'll stay on the phone as long as we can digest your conversation.
As long as we like you, we'll stay on the phone. It's a little bit, I'm calling, call TCB.

Speaker 3 So I'll remind you about that, but 212-433-3822. 212-433-3TCB.

Speaker 3 Questions, comments, concerns, contents, ideas, at the commercial break on Instagram and youtube.com slash thecommercial commercial break for all the episodes the same day they air here on the audio okay Chrissy that's all I can do for now I think so but I'll tell you that I love you

Speaker 3 best to you and best to you out there on the podcast audience until next time Chrissy and I will say we do say and we must say good

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