The Alligator Alley 500

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And welcome back to WSHIT News.

It's news your uncle can use to get uninvited to Thanksgiving dinner.

A very mixed reaction this afternoon to the announcement of a firing and a new appointment to the director's chair of CrabApple's Aeronautics and Space Project, or CASP for short.

Early this morning, news broke that the mayor of CrabApple had fired longtime director Melanie Kasevich after she refused to accept applications into the space program based on the applicant's podcast listenership.

She also quickly shot down an idea by the mayor to put an image of his face on any future rockets meant for space.

Then, in a late-day announcement by the mayoral office, Roger Spence Talwacker was picked to lead the local space agency.

Roger Spence, of course, is a former business associate of the mayor and was the CEO for the mayor's for-profit business school focusing on MLM sales training.

He was most recently the chief creative officer for failed NFT project Four Skin Kingdom.

Roger Spence gave his first press conference as the chief of CAS today and here's what he had to say to reporters in the room.

Does it matter if the earth is round or flat?

Well, the reason that matters if the earth is round to flat, because if you're on a round ball spinning through space thousands of miles an hour, spinning thousands of miles, that's scary.

That's traumatizing.

But if you know you're on a flat earth that's stationary with a bubble above you

and God is protecting you, then you feel safe.

So it's part of trauma-based mind control, is what it is.

Trauma-based mind control.

That's why they got you on a globe.

You know who came up with globe?

Shakespeare, yeah, he brought English out into the open.

English is witchcraft.

Anyhow, the earth looks pretty flat from up here.

It's flat, and we're safe.

Roger Spence also added later on in the press conference to expect many flights to the ice wall and beyond the firmament.

WSHIT's editorial board was going to fact-check Roger Spence, but we are expecting a vote by the mayor's office on future funding for WSHIT.

We must pay some bills.

We'll be back after this commercial break.

On this episode of the Commercial Break.

Why are these people driving so incredibly aggressively?

Like literally cutting people off if there's an inch in between cars, they just go and hope that someone, you know, slows down for them 100 miles per hour.

A lot of these cars are Ferraris and Teslas, Porsches, Jaguars, because there's a lot of money down there.

A lot of money down there.

So I'm wondering to myself, why are they driving like this?

This is a beach, like this, isn't it like easygoing beach to chill?

You're supposed to be chilled out.

And I think I figured it out.

If you had to drive behind an 82-year-old man who only saw the one eye and was like a war veteran who refused to give up his driver's license, going seven miles per hour in the fast lane, he'd learn to get around it.

Six days a week, you too would learn how to drive aggressively.

The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now.

Oh, yeah, Cats and Kittens, welcome back to the Commercial Break.

I'm Brian Greene.

This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris and Joy Holy.

Best to you, Chris.

Cats and Brian.

Best to you out there in the podcast universe.

We're back from vacation.

Feeling red and rested?

Feeling red and ready to get on

the microphone.

I am.

I'm always tanned.

That's the benefit of going to the tanning, man.

I never really know when I'm on vacation because I always look this way.

But no, I got to say this.

Like the Epstein files, it's hot in Naples, Florida.

It It is fucking hot in Naples, Florida.

I mean, holy today in Atlanta, the heat index is going to be 108.

It's, this is insane kind of heat.

And I had to tell my children yesterday, it's too hot to go in the pool.

Yeah.

It's too hot to go in a body of water meant to cool you off when it's too hot.

It's insane.

Yeah.

And when we went down to Naples, We went to go visit some family down in the Miami area.

We stayed in Naples so we're far enough away that we we don't have to be bothered.

Right.

We stayed far enough.

No, we love the family down in Miami.

But Naples presents a nice place.

We've been there before.

So we go to Naples, and the very first full day that we're there, we go to the beach, like you do in Naples, Florida.

There's nothing else to do.

We don't have any money.

We can't go anywhere anyway.

Let's go to the beach.

We went to that beach, and it was a type of hot that I don't think I've ever experienced in my life before.

And we go in the water.

I have the Apple Watch.

I'm in the water with my apple watch my apple watch tells me how deep it is and how warm the water is how warm or cold the water is the water is 92

degrees the ocean was 92 degrees it was like sitting in someone's piss it was it was not refreshing at all no fresca about it chrissy no fresca

and we spent a day out there, five hours, and all of us were so sunbaked and not burnt because we used sunscreen.

Even I used sunscreen.

That's how hot it was.

Even Brian put on sunscreen.

But the kids, the in-laws, my wife and I, we were just fried.

I mean, just fried.

And it's just too hot to even be outside.

That's right.

And then day number two, all of the family comes from Miami, drives over so that they can spend the day with us.

And we go to this place called Clam Pass.

Have you been to Clam Pass?

Yes.

Because Jeff's mom lives half the year down at Naples.

Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right.

That's very familiar.

Okay.

So those who have never been to Clams Pass, it's

near Pelican Bay, near the Pelican Bay Resort.

It's a free, or you have to pay for parking, but then you park, you go to this little station, they have these big golf carts, these like 12-person golf carts that pick you up and drive you on an elevated walkway over the marsh, the berm, the berm,

a mile to the beach.

When you get there, they drop you off at another station where there is a restaurant, a bar, and then some of the most beautiful beach you've ever seen in your entire life with some of the bluest water you've ever seen in your entire life.

So we go

on 94-degree day to meet all of these folks.

We're there an hour and a half before they get there.

They get there at like 12:30, and then we spend the day till like 5:30 there.

That's nice.

Chris, it wasn't nice.

I love my family, and I loved visiting with them.

We even had like the,

you know, the big tent set up.

We had the umbrellas, we had ice, we had drinks, We had water.

But I cannot explain how miserably hot I was by like hour number three or four.

So everyone's visiting and having a good time as the Venezuelans do.

The party never ends.

And at some point, I'm watching the kids kind of fall one by one.

Like one of my daughters falls under the tent.

She just fell out.

She fell out and she went instantly to sleep.

Then the next daughter falls out instantly to sleep.

One of my sons, who's just a sun baby, I guess, he's a different kind of color.

Like he, I'm not even sure he's my own child because of how dark he is.

He's really dark.

Yeah, yeah.

He's got the Venezuelan blood in him.

Like he's very dark.

The sun touches him and 30 seconds later, he turns 13 shades darker.

And he's out in the sun the entire time and he doesn't care.

It doesn't seem to bother him one bit.

But I'm like, okay, let me start packing up this stuff.

And I'm going to start taking it to the car because we have brought the entire house to the beach.

And now we need to bring it back to the car.

And one thing I forgot to mention is it's very nice of

the resort there to offer this shuttle free to people to get back and forth.

I guess that's the deal they make with the city:

you know, you can have access to this elevated walkway and put a bar on the beach, but you have to shuttle people back and forth.

It's a mile-long elevated walkway, mostly in the sun, not a lot of shade.

So, I had to carry a bunch of stuff that mile.

Well, carrying it there was hot, but I survived it, right?

right?

Carrying it back,

I felt like I was going to pass out at some point.

So you almost fell out.

I said to myself, as I'm just drenched from head to toe, sand everywhere, salt everywhere, I was saying to myself, I've never been this hot in my entire life.

I never recall being that hot in my entire life.

It is miserable.

It's dangerous, too.

It's dangerous.

It's miserable.

That's why Jeff Smond doesn't live there in the summer.

Listen, I know why snowbirds are snowbirds now, is because that's the time to go.

I mean, it really is.

But that doesn't stop anybody from going to the beach down there.

Oh, no.

Those beaches are packed.

I mean, absolutely packed.

And good for Naples, Florida, having all those free beaches where people can just go and hang out.

They got free parking.

I mean, they do it right down there in the sense that they don't make you jump through a bunch of hoops.

Not like the 30A experience.

Oh, my God.

Fuck 30A.

I'm sorry.

Fuck 30A.

Fuck 30A.

I know that there are beautiful homes down there.

I've met really nice people who live down there.

I've met certainly a lot of people who have traveled down there.

I've traveled down there.

I rented one of those nice.

I've got for people from Atlanta to go to.

But fuck 30A because everything is locked, cordoned off, exclusive, private.

You can't do anything anywhere.

It's not that Naples doesn't have that.

They do.

They have that.

But for the most part, like the Ritz, there's a big Ritz down there, and they have a part of the beach that they kind of cordoned off.

It doesn't say private.

it's just you can tell it's just their area.

It's theirs, but no one stopped me from walking around or hanging out on the beach or going up to the bar.

No one stopped me.

It's pretty chill down there.

Yeah, but when I went to 30A, I had to have seven different codes, a parking pass, and a security guard escort me to the fucking beach.

And then you get there.

You had to sneak in.

Yeah, and it's not as beautiful as a place like Naples, Florida.

And it's absolutely packed, full of sweaty-ass human beings.

It's not an experience.

It's a mugging.

It's a mugging of your soul.

Fuck 30A.

Don't go.

All right.

Okay.

Am I done?

Go to Florabama Shore.

That's where you should go.

Go to Gulf Shores.

Well, you went there and you loved it.

I loved it.

It's my kind of place, my kind of people.

I like the common folk.

I like going with the common folk because I'm a common folk.

I'm just an idiot.

There's nothing special about me.

I'm not driving a Lambo around.

I don't need a $7 million house and a secret location and have, you know, I don't know,

a retina scan to get on the beach.

Fuck you.

Fuck you.

I'm sorry, sir.

You can't go to the beach.

I asked the guy.

I asked the guy at 38.

I asked the dude, how do I get on the beach?

He goes, it's about two miles up that way.

That's what he said to me.

About two miles up that way, there's a public beach.

It was the most...

Insane thing I had ever heard come out of somebody's mouth.

Wait, I'm on the beach, but the access to the beach is two miles north of there?

This is private, sir.

It's private to who?

Who's it private to?

The people who live here and the people who stay here.

Why?

Why is a beach private?

You don't want the smelly folk coming around you?

God damn it, Chrissy.

Anyway, I go to the beach.

I go to that Naples.

I'm telling you what, it was just miserably hot, but we had a lovely time because, you know, you're on vacation.

You have a lovely time.

That's what you do.

You mostly did.

Mostly.

Except for a lot of the time I spent in urgent care driving from Miami back and forth down Alligator Alley for this reason more than that.

And I got to tell you folks down in Florida, I got a lot of gripes about Georgia.

I got a lot of gripes about Florida.

I'm just a gripey kind of guy.

I'm kind of a miserable son of a bitch, in case you haven't noticed.

But one of the things I do have to say about you, Floridians, is y'all are absolutely insane drivers.

And this is coming from an absolutely insane driver.

If you see me on the streets, if you're driving around me, I don't have my my kids in the car, you're likely to say, that's a fuck.

What the fuck is that moron doing?

Driving around like an idiot.

But when I go to Florida, I think I'm the most responsible driver on the road.

I'm sure of it.

Those people drive so fast and they cut in and out of traffic

without even looking.

They don't even care.

It's just, if there's an a lot of them are too old to care.

I think that

I was trying to figure out because I'm in Naples, Florida.

Average age, 106.

Right?

Naples is not like some party town where you know 20-year-olds are going.

Everything closes at 9 p.m., including the CVS, 24-hour CVS closes at 9 p.m.

That's how old people are down there.

No one comes out past nine o'clock.

And I'm trying to figure out to myself as I'm driving down the big street down there.

I'm trying to, you know, the main drag to Tammy Amy?

Tammy Amy.

That's right.

Ippalakamika Lake Amica.

Yeah.

41 or whatever it is.

I'm trying to figure out why are these people driving so incredibly aggressively, like literally cutting people off.

If there's an inch in between cars, they just go and hope that someone, you know, slows down for them 100 miles per hour.

A lot of these cars are Ferraris and Teslas, Porsches, Jaguars, because there's a lot of money down there, a lot of money down there.

So I'm wondering to myself, why are they driving like this?

This is a beach, like, isn't it like easy going beach to chill?

You're supposed to be chilled out.

And I think I figured it out.

If you had to drive behind an 82-year-old man who only saw out of one eye and was like a war veteran who

refused to give up his driver's license, going seven miles per hour in the fast lane, you'd learn to get around it.

Six days a week, you too would learn how to drive aggressively.

Do you know what I'm saying?

I think I licked it.

I think I figured out.

And then I just took that and I expanded that to the entirety of Florida.

Well, I know why people drive crazy in Miami is because a lot of them are Latin American.

And I love my Latin Americans.

I love my Latin American.

I'm married to them.

Yes, you are.

But there's, it's just a different kind of driving experience down there, right?

It's just a different kind of driving experience.

Street signs are suggestions.

And people, it's bumper cars down there.

They literally hit each other.

They're like, if someone doesn't go at the stoplight, instead of giving them a honk, they just push them forward.

That's how it goes.

I swear to God.

I was in Mexico City when I was a teenager and I was in a cab and the cab driver got bumped from behind because he wasn't going at the green light.

And I was like, Aren't you going to stop?

And he's like, Oh, no, he's just telling me to go.

He's telling you to go by bumping you.

And he's like, It's a different kind of

driving.

So that's a different story.

But the rest of Florida, I don't know why everyone's driving.

So I'm driving down Alligator Alley.

It's like, it's like dusk.

So it's 7:30, 8 o'clock at night, coming from Miami to Naples.

It is a 72, 70, 80-mile drive with no gas stations.

Right.

No nothing.

Yeah.

I haven't done that drive yet.

You haven't done the 75 alligator alley drive?

No, but I know a lot of people that have.

Yeah, it says, like, there's a sign when you get on the highway in Miami, when you're getting onto that alligator alley, and it says there is no gas station for 57 miles, so get gas now.

Yeah, get it now.

Yeah, get it now.

Because no one wants to be stuck on alligator alley.

They actually have fences around a highway in the middle of the swamp.

And the fences aren't to protect you and they're not to protect the swampland.

They're protect you from alligators walking out in the middle of that.

That's why it's called alligator alley.

That's it.

Some of the most dangerous territory in the world by wildlife experts to like survival-wise is alligator alley.

You don't want to be in the middle of that big cypress, whatever it is.

So we're driving down this at 7:30, 8 o'clock at night.

And I am, the speed limit is 70.

I am going 82 miles per hour, and people are passing me as if I'm stopped, as if I'm dead stopped in the road.

People are going 100 miles per hour.

It's an autobahn just in that, yeah, they're trying to get there quick.

It is.

I just don't understand it.

I mean, listen, I'm all about driving fast, as Georgia State Patrol officer would know.

I'm all about driving fast, but you have to be, you have to have like some common sense.

You can't be going 110 miles per hour downstairs.

I can see how people would do that, though, just on a, you know, straightaway.

It's straight.

It's dead straight.

You just go.

It's dead straight.

And, you know, I get it.

People are idiots and they drive slow in the left-hand lane, but going 110 miles per hour.

Yeah, it's a little much.

At least that's my assumption about how fast they're going.

I really don't know.

I didn't clock them.

Clock them.

Yeah, but I did want to keep up with that.

Your Apple Watch didn't tell you.

My Apple Watch did not tell me how fast they were going.

Did tell me how warm the water was, though.

Honestly, we went to a, we go to one beach and then we go to the, so after the second day, we had to take a two-day timeout from the beach

because we were so over it.

We were just hot and miserable.

And so we wanted to stay in the air conditioning, quite frankly.

But anyway, we're back.

Chrissy went on vacation too.

We got so much to talk about.

Let's get to some action.

You ready, Chrissy?

Let's do it.

Next Monday, that's August 4th.

The commercial break will be dropping.

It's very first and maybe very last merch line.

It's limited edition.

It's exclusive to this particular window.

Once these items are gone, we won't make these items again.

That's how all the kids are doing it these days.

So we're following along.

We're really excited.

We took a lot of time to do nothing.

To

approve the design.

Yes, to improve the ones they suggested.

Yes.

And we have a great merge company in conjunction and coordination with our network Odyssey and, of course, Astrid, who has done a lot of work on this.

That website, shoptcbpodcast.com, will open up from August 4th through the 18th, and then it will close.

You pre-order your items.

You will get them a couple of weeks later.

And then, with every single order, we are also going to be putting in an exclusive TCB sticker.

You can only get this sticker by buying this merch line, and then it's done.

It's over.

So, please go to shop tcbpodcast.com next Monday, buy your merch.

It's really good looking.

We're really excited about it.

Then,

then and only then,

Chrissy and I are going to,

in my hands, which you can't see because you're listening.

I have a copy

of one of the best movies ever made.

I don't know how many Academy Awards this one, I'll have to check.

I'll have to look at IMDB.

The Rally LA is a movie starring, personally written by

and produced by.

The one and only.

The one and only

actor of actors,

a once-in-a-generation kind of talent, Kenny Copeland, the preacher who blew coronavirus away.

Yeah.

He has a movie where he is a drug cartel kingpin.

It's a drug cartel kingpin.

And his nemesis is played by Eric Roberts.

The esteemed.

The venerable Eric.

I cannot wait to watch this.

Along with another cast of characters, Rick Reyna, who directed the movie.

You know when the directors in it, it's good.

I mean, Woody.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Woody, whatever his name is.

Who is it?

Woody Allen.

Woody Allen.

Woody Allen is a great director who's in a lot of his movies.

He's about as esteemed as Kenny Copeland.

It's about as trustworthy as Kenny Copeland.

You know,

Chrissy, I don't think I can say confidently, I don't think I've been so excited to watch a movie in my life.

Well, and a DVD at that.

A DVD.

You had to order it.

I had to pull out our old DVD player we never used at the house, bring it over here.

We had to time travel to get equipment to make this happen because The Rally LA is not available for streaming in 2025, even though it was released in 2023.

So, how that happens, I don't know.

No one's bought the rights to this yet.

It must be so good that no streamer can afford it.

Netflix, with their bundle of cash, can't afford to stream The Rally LA.

So, Chrissy and I are going to watch this movie in its entirety.

We're going to stream that live with you, the listener, and we'll give you more information on how to do that.

That will be next Friday.

Then, those episodes will drop Saturday and Sunday.

We'll chop them up, we'll edit them for audio, and then they'll be available to listen as bonus episodes

Saturday and Sunday.

I really, really hope that you join us on the stream at the very least to listen to listen to the video.

And you're so excited about our

review of the movie that you just can't buy enough merch yes that's that's

let chrissy just drop the curtain all the way down we are so excited about streaming this and then putting bonus episodes out that we're ain't that we're going to do commercials about our merch while we're doing that

all right it's just a hook to get you to buy our merch no i'm kidding i had this idea and then the merch idea came along and we said hey let's combine those two and maybe generate some excitement between three of the five listeners that we have how's that

but listen let me say this in all seriousness with about the merch we would love it honestly if you got some extra change and you want to rock some commercial break gear out there i think this stuff is really good looking uh it is i'm going to be wearing it yes me too

mainly because they're sending me one for free but i am really excited about this because not only do we have like a surprise or two in there like something that's you know funny to the show an inside joke piggyfronting t-shirt essentially.

And as I've said on the,

as I've said on the promotional advertisements, good luck explaining that one to your neighbors.

But then there's classic like TCB logo type stuff.

And I just love it.

I think it's so good looking.

I'm really proud of this.

And we've tried 15 different iterations of merch that we would be proud to sell.

And we came up woefully short with design.

There was that original one that I wore for a while, but those were just made just for us to go to, I think, was it to go to Mempho?

It was to go to Mempho.

We went to Mempho and we brought some extra t-shirts and we gave a couple of them away and then we sent some to listeners and then we gave more away to friends and family, but we only bought like 30 of them.

Right.

No, that, and that was what, four years ago.

That was four years ago.

And that was designed, God bless, by the original designer who originally designed the commercial break, like neon sign logo.

And it just, like, it looked good, but it didn't look great.

And the quality was was good, but it wasn't great.

And so Astrid has been really, we've been talking about this for three years.

And Astrid's like, I'm just, I don't want to do it unless the quality is good and the stuff looks great.

Agreed.

Stuff you would actually want to wear out in the universe.

Now, whether or not you want to be associated with the commercial break, I guess the good news is the commercial break is a pretty common phrase.

So maybe people just think you really like advertising.

Maybe that's what's going to go on.

All right.

So let's do this.

We have so much to talk about.

There are so many things that have gone on while we've been gone.

I've been keeping my finger on the pulse, lest you think I was just vacationing and being lazy.

I was vacationing, being lazy, and keeping my finger on the pulse.

Of course.

All at the same time.

Only probably

what I think is interesting might be a little different from what you think is interesting.

But let's do this.

Why don't we take a break, Chrissy?

And then when we get back.

We'll talk all about this.

I'm just trying to find, I put in new liners here.

Oh, you did?

Yeah, because it was pork chop day.

Every day.

Every day for six months.

For Axel.

Yes, for Axel.

So I rotated the liners, and I know a couple of you have,

whatever.

You complained, but I think it was, I think you were right.

So let's take a break.

We'll be back.

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on TCB.

And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue.

Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears, and I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail.

Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the contact us page.

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Now, I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors, and then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break.

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Okay, three things I want to get to listener-wise.

I'm checking the old TCB phone here.

I actually had it with me when I was on vacation.

The hotline?

The hotline.

I brought the hotline down with me.

Why not?

It was a little fun, you know, respond to listeners.

I want to say hello to Bella and her mother.

Her mother listens to the show, and Bella, thereby default, listens to the show.

Bella's on the younger side, so, and I don't need to give away her age or anything.

But Bella was very sweet and wrote us a note on her mother's phone,

completely appropriate, and said, you know, hey, I love the show, and you could do more of

Poly Couch Cushions

any day of the week.

So, Bella, just for you, later on this week, a Poly Couch Cushions video coming up, and you're not the only one who's been requesting that.

A lot of people do.

South Georgia Sean, I just want to shout out to South Georgia Sean.

Oh, hey, Sean.

He is always texting the commercial break, and I love him.

I'm going to get that guy to start a Reddit page for us, I think, because I think he's got the skills to do that.

So I'm going to talk to South Georgia Sean.

But a big shout out to South Georgia Sean, who helped me navigate the alligator waters of Naples.

By the way, we saw a lot of alligators down there.

And when he's one to do it, he's one to do it.

When we went to Clams Pass, Pass, there is that resort right there, and they have a pond, a retention pond in the resort.

And as I was walking back, almost dying,

you know, dragging coolers full of bullshit and

chairs and tents and dirty diapers and all this other stuff,

I had to stop at the resort's shower so that I could just get some water off my face.

Just get summer on it.

Yes.

And as I was doing that, I was looking over the balcony, the little, you know, guardrail, and there is the retention pond.

And there are four, count them four at least five-foot alligators looking at me like dinner.

I mean, they were all just staring at me, and I was like, wow, that's crazy.

I'm so close to these things.

And there's another guy who came up.

They had names.

He had named them.

He was like, oh, yeah, it's Johnny.

Johnny likes them.

They always do name him.

Johnny has one bad eye, and he's got hurt in a leg accident.

We put him in there.

I'm like, oh, okay.

I didn't know you guys were friends.

And finally, as far as the listeners are concerned, I want to say I got this very incredibly intelligent, sweet, and thoughtful message from a guy named Rory.

I'm assuming a guy named Rory.

Rory's texted before.

Rory said, hey, I have a question for you.

When I press skip on the advertisements, does that

negatively impact your revenue?

And I respond, and I said, that's a great question.

And I really only know that on Spotify do they track the actual listening.

I don't know if

of the other apps, I don't think it does, but I don't really know.

He said, maybe you want to talk about this on air because I think other people might feel like me that if I skip the ads and that negatively impacts you, I will listen to them.

Like I will just let them play.

I mean, how thoughtful is that text message?

Very thoughtful of Rory.

Big shout out to Rory, and I will talk about it.

I don't know the answer on all apps.

I know on Spotify, they do track the actual listening time.

And I think if you skip through an ad, that may negatively impact us.

I think in the other apps, it just matters if you download the show, if you listen to it.

And, you know, listen, I want to encourage you to listen to our advertisers.

I don't want to discourage you from doing that.

But I also understand practically

that maybe some people do skip through advertisements.

They want to get into the meat.

Yeah, they want to get to the meat and potatoes of the show.

It's three minutes out of their day they want to save.

I totally understand that.

So it may negatively impact our revenue depending on which app you're listening to.

I encourage you to listen to the sponsors.

And if you ever buy any of their stuff, let them know that they were sent through the commercial break.

Because we don't have a subscription service.

We don't charge you to listen to this.

I don't anticipate a world in 2025 or anytime soon when that would happen.

But, you know, so we give away the show for free and we put a few advertisements in it.

That's how we make our money.

So if you want to listen to our advertisers, we certainly would appreciate it.

That's the right thing for me to say.

Practically, I don't know whether or not it it affects our revenue negatively, but Rory was very sweet to engage us so thoughtful in that manner.

Okay, now let's talk about what happened while it was gone.

Okay.

Hey, brother, I'm dead and I'm dying from the grave, brother.

What you gonna do when a hulka mania comes home rocking for you?

God, that's right.

There were a lot of people that passed away.

The Hulk

passed away.

Good written.

I am a Hulkomania maniac till I die because I grew up in that era.

I was until he was political.

I was until he started showing his true colors.

And now there are many people out there who will testify to their own interactions with Hulk and his true colors.

And he apparently was not the best of human beings.

And he had some really fucked up ways of thinking.

And he had sex with his best friend's wife.

And he disowned his daughter because she dated a black man.

And

all this stuff.

And then he got political and forget about it.

But

he wasn't entertaining.

Yeah.

And when I was a kid, I did not know any of that stuff.

And all just like Michael Jackson.

Yeah.

I didn't know about Michael Jackson, you know, having

essentially lewd interactions with children.

I didn't know about any of that.

And I loved his music.

And I thought he was cool, just like everybody else that I knew thought so, too.

Hulk

was

Hulk to me.

He was not Terry Bolea.

He was Hulk to me.

And during that time period,

it was Hulkamania was everywhere.

You had to, you liked Hulk.

He got you interested in professional wrestling.

Now, I quickly outgrew that.

I like 12 years ago.

He was kind of one of the first or, you know, in that era of the first like superstars of wrestling.

Oh, I think he is the super.

There was like Andre the Giant.

Yes.

And Hulk and

maybe another one.

The Iron Sheik and all these, like a lot of these other folks.

First gen.

Yes.

And first generation of entertainment wrestlers who took it to the next level when the WWF, then the WWF was exploding.

Like people were paying $30 to watch WrestleMania because you kind of had to see Hulk and Andre the Giant.

There was a whole storyline they would play out each week.

It was a soap opera.

It was a soap opera that the adults watched.

It was a soap opera the kids watched.

And I think anybody who is a fan of wrestling or any like historian of wrestling would probably agree that Hulk is the Reese.

Hulk is the Tiger Woods of wrestling.

Yes, it was around before then, and there were stars, but they were niche.

They were niche stars in certain markets.

And then all of the sudden, like Tiger Woods, Hulk comes along and everybody's watching.

Everybody loves it.

But he turned out to be a real dipshit of a human being, and that was disappointing.

But my 12-year-old, 13-year-old self left wrestling behind.

So I

it like it didn't, I wasn't particularly surprised by it.

It didn't really disappoint me.

I didn't really give a shit.

I knew that wrestling was

wrestling was a work.

It was a thing.

It was entertainment.

It was a soap opera.

And when I outgrew it or when it became disinteresting to me, I really didn't think much about Hulk Hogan until he had that show on VH1.

Yes.

Yeah.

But then just, it seemed like a weird life they were living.

Like, I don't know.

That show on VH1.

It did.

Ozzy.

God rest his soul.

Yeah, the past.

Black Sabbath Till I Die.

Ozzy Osborne Till I Die.

I love Ozzy Osborne.

I love Sharon Osborne.

I know everybody loves Sharon Osborne, but I loved Sharon Osborne.

That television show.

It was so entertaining.

Was groundbreaking to me.

It was so funny.

It was so good.

It was one of the shows that I can remember from that time period that I waited for it to come on.

Yeah.

And I had to be there to watch it brand new when it came on.

I think it captured the nation.

It captured all of our attention.

And the producers of that show brilliantly putting like that 50s TV, like, you know, Leave It to Beaver theme music behind them when Ozzy was just stumbling around, you know, not being very coherent and Sharon throwing shit at the neighbors and the two kids getting into all kinds of trouble.

It was a brilliant television show.

And I also understood back then, and I do now, that was a highly produced show.

They made it seem that way, right?

But Ozzie and Sharon,

like, I loved his music, and then he came into my heart in a different way.

Yes.

And I always have like such, I just love Ozzy Osborne.

And he just had that tribute concert.

And I mean, it just happened 10 days before he died.

10 days before he dies.

And it's like, what a

fitting time to go out, I guess is the best way to put it.

I didn't want Ozzie to die, but if he was going to go, what a fitting time to go, right?

Let all these people come out and say their goodbyes, as well as Ozzy come out, sit down and do some music to hundreds of thousands of people and millions watching across the world.

And let all these stars pay tribute to Ozzy.

And I just.

Can't think of something more serendipitous, if I'm being real honest with you.

I love Ozzy.

I love Ozzy, and I'm sad that he went because he was always always entertaining.

On the flip side of that, I have to say, kudos to him for living that long.

I mean, he really had some close calls, I think, over the years.

Did he get struck by lightning or something?

I mean, I think everything happened to him.

He was a terrible drug and alcoholic, drug addict and alcoholic.

You know, a lot of people said he had been sober for a long time, but I think he was medicated in some way, shape, or form for most of his life.

Something was physically

different about Ozzy.

Anybody who watched him on that television show or any other time could tell, even in his younger years, like you go back and watch the video, you can tell he's kind of mumbling, stumbling around his words.

So I don't know what it was.

It doesn't really matter to me.

I don't care.

But Ozzy had been through everything.

He's like the reason people talk about rock stars being crazy.

Yeah.

I think Ozzy Osborne's probably one of the reasons why.

Of course.

He lost the whole bat.

He ate the head of the bat.

He did bite a head of a bat off.

You know, it's not very...

That's pretty crazy.

That's how we got COVID.

Ozzy Osborne's how we got COVID.

Yeah, I mean, Ozzy did it.

He did it.

He did it all.

And then he was a hot man.

The music was fantastic.

Oh, my God.

Is fantastic.

I will live on.

So good.

War Pigs, probably one of my favorite songs of all time.

The Black Sabbath version, the Faith No More version, which is a fantastic cover.

One of the best covers songs I think ever.

And then everybody else who already did it, but also Ozzie had a soft side.

And in the 80s and 90s, he put out some music that was not so heavy metal that was just as fantastic.

Lead a force.

Lead a force.

You did me wrong.

You did me wrong.

I want to hear it tonight.

Mama, I'm coming home.

Let me see if I can do this.

I don't know the words, though.

That's the problem.

I'm sure I can remember.

I don't think Mama, I'm coming home is that.

No, no, no, no.

I'm just talking about mom coming home yeah yeah uh let's

what was it lead to four when it was if i close my eyes forever if i close my eyes

like that yeah

we looked it up when he died yeah that's oh you did were you listening to some of his stuff

okay um let's see here i'm gonna we because we should do this let's do this hold on

do our own little tribute yeah and then i'll probably get this blacklisted you know

Oh, this one's good, yeah.

Oh, what happened?

It filtered you.

Yeah, or my kids are playing with it.

Oh, it's it's going to the car.

Oh, you know what this is?

Spotify is so advanced.

Oh, here it is.

You took me in hand to hold me.

Okay, you had me in the tiger.

Lost and found and turned around by the fire in your eyes.

You made me cry, you told me lies, but I can't stand to say

What a great fucking song.

It is a great song.

Honestly, a great fucking song.

And then here's the Lita Ford one, which is just as good as my opinions.

Oh, yeah.

She was such a badass woman rocker.

Yeah, she was.

She played with Michael Jackson, didn't she?

Did she?

Yeah, I think she did.

And it's waiting here for you.

What am I supposed to do in the child of tragedy?

If I close my eyes forever

Will it all remain unchanged

if I close my eyes forever

I remember the video for the

oh I do remember the video for this Lead a Ford and a hot top and Yeah.

Oh, what a great song.

Ozzy Osborne will be missed terribly.

And, you know,

I heard his isolated vocals from the tribute concert.

There's no doubt that Ozzy, you know, listen, as you get older, I'm sure

as a former singer myself, I understand the trials and tribulations of getting older and how your voice changes.

So, of course, your voice is not going to be the same as it was when you were doing Lita Ford back in the, you know, 1988.

But his voice, while doubled on stage just to make it stronger, was certainly not the same as it was.

He was still singing those notes.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

I mean,

what else is there to say about Ozzie that hasn't already been said?

He's a legend.

By all accounts, he was loved.

By all accounts, he was a good guy.

He helped so many of the musicians that we know not only learn their craft, but he helped them by bringing them on stage and giving them an opportunity to share their craft with the world, bands that we all know and love.

And Ozzy did that not out of a sense of

like a need to make money, but out of a sense of obligation to pass the torch from one person to the next person and give them opportunities that he didn't have.

So, for all of the dark night kind of mysterious shit that Ozzy Osborne is tied with in lure, in reality, I think he was just like a good, kind of mumbly, stumbly, soft-hearted.

And I love him, and I hope he's.

He's still remiss.

Yeah, I hope he's with all the bats in heaven.

And

not Hulk Hogan.

But yeah, it's really sad.

And then I wanted to mention one more passing that I thought was.

Let's see who you come up with.

I've got two more people.

Okay, go.

You go one, and I'll go one.

We've got Theo Huxtable.

Oh, Malcolm Jamal Warner.

God, Malcolm Jamal Warner.

And died in a freak accident

surfing in Costa Rica.

Malcolm Jamal Warner died?

Yeah, he got pulled under.

I mean, I know he passed, but I didn't know he was surfing and he got pulled from the undertow.

The undertow took him away.

Shit is dangerous.

God damn.

I know.

Malcolm Jamal Warner.

He was here in Atlanta, too.

I knew that.

Malcolm Jamal Warner was a huxtable.

Yeah.

And Bill Cosby, another.

you know, fantastic human being that no one knew about back then.

No, he was like the beloved dad of the nation.

That was the most popular television show for years and years and years.

And you better believe I was watching it too.

And Theo Huxtable

is one of my favorite characters on that show.

So bye to Theo Huxtable.

That's a terrible, that's terrible to hear about just surfing in Costa Rica.

But Costa Rica is no joke.

That ocean is different.

I mean,

oceans are different all around the world, but I've been in that water.

And that is not like the tame water of Naples, Florida.

a no, especially not on where was he on the East Coast?

Naples is the Atlantic.

No, it's the Gulf

of Mexico.

That's right.

That's where it is.

The side where he was on in Costa Rica was the Pacific.

And that can be rough.

Yeah, it can, for sure.

I wanted to mention that Anne Burrell had passed away.

Ann Burrell, the TV chef from Worst Cooks in America.

Yeah.

The spiky-haired, spicy, feisty

young lady who kind of took the food network by storm with her rock and roll attitude.

Now, I wasn't a particular like huge Ann Burrell fan.

It wasn't like I tuned in to watch Ann Burrell, but I watched her.

She was just part of the fabric of

that whole network.

It seemed like.

She was.

Yeah, for sure.

She was friends with Anthony Bourdain.

So she showed up on occasion with Anthony Bourdain.

By all accounts, loved and beloved also, Anne Borrell was.

And she died because she took her own life.

And so I thought this was an opportunity.

And they just released this kind of finding a couple of days ago.

I thought I would take the opportunity to share once again, as we did a month ago on our,

what was that called?

What did we do?

The Endless Day.

I'm trying to, I was going to say 12 hours and then I was like, wait, hold on.

We changed the name.

On our endless day, as we did, that help is always available regardless of your resources or ability to pay.

There are people and places that you can call and you can reach out and get help.

Absolutely.

A lot of things have happened in the last couple of days, and it's obvious that some people are really struggling with their mental health.

So if you are struggling with your mental health, reach out to a friend, reach out to a family member, reach out to anybody, because honestly, it's that one conversation that could

change every bit of your perspective.

You just never know what's around the next corner.

So stick with us.

And then there's there's one more in memoriam that I wanted to mention Golden Earring,

the guy from the Golden Earring band and Radar Love.

What?

Who?

Radar Love.

I know Radar Love.

He's from the Golden Earring band.

Well, the Golden Earring is who wrote that and recorded it.

Oh,

I have no idea what you're talking about.

I'm so sorry.

He died?

He died.

Well,

to the many people who have listened to that, he wrote Radar Love?

Yes.

Radar Love.

Radar Love.

I'm half past 10 and I'm switching gears.

And that was sung by the Golden Earring band?

Yes.

Really?

Why did I think that was like, I don't know, Styx or Twisted Sister or something?

Golden Earring.

I don't know.

I thought, yeah, no, really?

Yes.

Wow.

Okay, you learn something new every day.

To the Golden Earring guy, may you live on forever in our hearts and in our minds.

Radar love.

It's a great song to drive to.

Yeah.

185 miles per hour.

Down Alligator Alley.

Down Alligator Alley.

All right.

We'll be back.

Let me do something Brian has never done.

Be brief.

Follow us on Instagram at theCommercial Break.

Text or call us 212-433-3 TCB.

That's 212-433-3822.

Visit our website, tcbpodcast.com, for all the audio, video, and your free sticker.

Then watch all the videos at youtube.com/slash the commercial break.

And finally, share the show.

It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters.

See, Brian, that really wasn't that difficult now, was it?

You're welcome.

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We're still trying to figure out where golden Golden Earring fits in

on this.

Well, I love that song, Radar Love.

I really wanted to end on like a

help if you need it.

And you're like, one more thing.

Golden earring.

Well, because I have a group text with some friends, and we were going back and forth on all of the people that just died.

And that was one of them that was mentioned.

Let's throw in Golden Earring.

Yeah.

I want to throw in.

Judith Hedberg from 444 Crab Apple Street.

I know.

Finally, I just like researched obituaries from Atlanta and sent one.

I was like, here's the one.

It rounds out everything.

So everybody's like, it goes in threes.

It goes in threes.

Who's next?

Yeah, I was like, this guy.

He just went.

He was 98.

Yeah, he was from Atlanta.

That's too funny.

There is something crazy going on in the alcohol industry.

Have you heard about the Diego lawsuit?

Have you heard about this?

No.

Diego is one of the largest liquor brands in the world.

Diageo?

diageo sorry okay

diageo i'm sorry i don't know why diego i'm thinking of your friend diego

because wasn't he involved in liquor at some point or something i know okay all right i'm totally he could have been yeah he probably likes liquor yeah he does

involved in the sense that he raised their stock price by buying more of it diagio

that is a big brand diageo is huge they own a lot they own let me let me name a few uh

when i find it

Yeah, I know the name too, because I used to watch that show, Bar Rescue.

Yeah.

And there would be like a portion sponsored by Diageo.

Captain Morgan, Johnny Walker, Baileys, Don Julio,

Smirnoff, J and B, Casamigos, Kettle One.

They own, I mean, just

so many different brands, and they distribute those brands.

And they might have been involved with Sirok, too.

You might be right.

Oh.

And they dropped him.

Yeah.

Tangaret, which is

something I used to drink a lot of, actually.

So

a lot of.

Yeah, a lot of.

Actually.

Actually, a whole bunch of.

I don't remember you being a gin drinker.

Oh, Chrissy, before I met you,

when Raphael and I first met, Raphael, my other best friend, Otro, Otro, Amigo.

When Raphael and I first met,

I had already been drinking gin for a long time, but that became our drink of choice.

And Bombay or Tangere

would be,

and tangure was the more expensive one.

So a lot of times we drink Bombay so that the owner wouldn't notice how much tangerer was gone.

But tangure and tonic was my thing for a very long time.

And I used to drink a whole shitload of it.

I loved gin and tonic.

Gin and tonic, three limes, please.

You're not a gin girl.

I loved it.

But it started like you, but I started to feel a little creaky.

And someone told me that because of the juniper, it can make like a can make your joint swell.

And I stopped drinking.

Anyway, whatever.

I went to Bud Light and that didn't get much.

I didn't get it.

I didn't feel any better.

I didn't feel any better.

So fuck you, whoever told me that.

So follow the bouncing ball.

Okay.

So Don Julio, Casa Migos, and a couple of other liquor brands that, a couple other tequila brands that we all know and love, and probably you have had lots of shots of inside of your margaritas and just maybe tequila on ice they sell

in soda now oh yeah you like that yeah oh okay did you have some last night i did not okay what about this week the night before yeah there you go um well you were out last night so i thought maybe um i didn't go out last night i thought you said you stayed somewhere last night No, we got back.

Oh, okay.

I misunderstood.

I thought you guys were out last night.

All these tequila brands

have to be certified with a certain amount of agave in order to be considered a premium tequila or tequila at all, quite frankly.

And

the

people who are certifying apparently work for the companies who are making it.

It appears that the Mexican government has put the people who make it in charge of also certifying it.

And there is now a class action lawsuit, a rather big one, that says that a lot of the tequila that is very popular and that we drink is not at all tequila.

It's just watered-down liquor, essentially, is what it is.

Watered-down alcohol, not specifically tequila, because it is not a certain percentage of agave

because the agave is very expensive.

That's the most expensive thing in a tequila, right?

It's water, agave, and probably some kind of, I don't know, fermentation additive.

I'm not really sure how it's made.

But apparently, the Mexican government is in cahoots with Diageo to water down to not make premium tequila, but put it in a bottle and sell it for $150 or whatever it is.

This probably stands to

mark a very large turning point in the liquor industry, should it be true.

And apparently, there's a lot of proof that it is.

Like, no offense, proof, not 100 proof, now that's not what I'm talking about.

The claims are that Diageo, the company behind popular tequila brands, Casa Amigo and Don Julio, is facing multiple class action lawsuits, alleging these brands labeled 100% agave contain significant concentrations of cane or other types of alcohol that is not derived from the blue Weber agave it is certified to.

Diageo has vehemently denied these claims, stating that their tequilas are crafted from 100% blue Weber agave under a rigorous certification process by the CRT, this association, and are in full compliance with the official tequila standard.

They call the allegations outrageous, categorically false, and vowed to defend themselves vigorously in court.

Of course, they do.

The lawsuit has brought renewed attention to the ongoing debate within the tequila industry regarding transparency, labeling standards, and the role of the CRT in regulating tequila purity.

Some speculate about the potential weaknesses in the certification process and call for increased scrutiny.

Patron faced legal challenges from the CRT regarding its its marketing campaign that emphasized the tequila's additive

tequila's additive-free status.

The CRT temporarily blocked Patron's exports to the U.S., asserting it's the only body with the authority to certify additive-free tequila.

And then Jose Cueervo was involved in a long-standing lawsuit also.

That's interesting.

It is very interesting.

Yeah.

I mean,

does that mean it's like less proof or just the agave part of it?

Yeah.

So, I mean, I guess it doesn't really matter if you're buying a shit orita at Chili's.

Yeah.

Right.

I mean, those things are wine ritas, let's be honest.

And, and, and wine is a substitute for

tequila in some mark in some cheap margarita mixes that you might buy at a restaurant rather than like the slushy kind that are always sloshing in some machine and they pour it out.

It's not uncommon.

I don't think it's widely common, but it's not uncommon for some unscrupulous barkeepers like yourself or myself to pour wine in there instead of tequila or to cut it with wine rather than tequila.

And I know that this is done, right?

So it doesn't really matter if you're buying a Shitarita and you're just looking to get a buzz.

But what if you're buying a Don Julio $150

bottle of tequila and you're really a connoisseur of tequila and you're expecting you're getting 100% blue agave?

Yeah, exactly.

And what you're paying,

you're paying for that premium.

But what you're really getting is 10% blue agave and then a cane, like a cane sugar or an additive, something that else that is fermenting, not the actual blue agave.

Now, some people, like the regular average Joe, like myself, okay, why does that, how does that affect me?

I don't care.

I don't drink Don Hulu.

I'm not buying $150.

Me either.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But there's...

They sell this by the billions.

And so there are lots of people out there who do, and they may care.

And it goes to the larger conversation of like laboo boos and lefu-fus, right?

I mean, some people don't care that they're buying lefufus, they just want to have something that looks like a laboo boo.

But to many people, it does matter.

It doesn't matter whether or not they're getting an actual laboo boo or a lefufoo, even when it's hard to tell the difference, they want to know it's real.

This also goes, there's another big lawsuit about fakery, and that is that this guy who owned this online

auction site for sports memorabilia for years and years and years was selling millions of dollars worth of certified signed pieces of memorabilia.

Turns out he was the one signing them.

He certified it himself.

He certified it himself.

He signed it himself.

So this guy just went on and made millions of dollars pretending that something was that it wasn't.

Now, some say buyer beware, and others will say, well, you get, get what, you know, you got what was coming to you for paying $150 for Don Julio,

you know, expensive bottle of premium tequila.

You shouldn't be spending your money on that.

And that, that may be an attitude or a perspective, but if you're the one spending $150 on it, maybe you do give a shit that it is what it actually says it is.

Well, yeah, if you're paying for it to be pure, then I would want that to be the truth.

Maybe I wouldn't pay that for myself, but maybe somebody I know I wanted to get it for a gift.

Yes, absolutely.

Very nice, a very nice present, and then it's not.

And then it's not.

Then it's not at all what it says it is.

Yeah, I'd be pissed too.

And it's just a way for the company to make more money without giving people what they're actually saying that they're giving them.

And this, it's just like everyone's trying to get one over on the next person.

And I think we've talked about this before on the show.

Also, everyone is creating a tequila.

Everyone.

Like everyone.

Everyone is

creating a tequila or a whiskey or a

whatever because it's a very lucrative business to be in.

Anybody who's ever worked in the restaurant business knows that if you're at a very fine dining restaurant, the food will make money.

But if you're at most restaurants, the food makes no money.

That's not a place where you make money.

You only make like 17%.

You make 150% on every drink that walks out the door.

And those drinks get more and more expensive every year.

True.

Fuck, I went to Todd.

We went to dinner, and my in-laws, even my wife, you know, I have a drink with dinner.

Yeah.

It's the most expensive part of the dinner, and I'm feeding nine people.

I mean, I'm not feeding.

We're having dinner, but

it's insane.

I'm paying for it.

$15, $16, $20 a drink.

I went to one of the bars down there to go grab a couple of virgin daiquiris and stuff and then a couple of real drinks.

It's 20 fucking bucks a pop.

Oh, I mean, I went to a restaurant the other night.

It was one that you know, and it's fine dining here in Atlanta if it was for a birthday.

And I ordered a glass of wine, and then it turns out later it was $25.

Jesus Jones have mercy on my soul.

Yeah.

$25.

And you can go and buy a bottle at Kroger for $15, an entire bottle of wine for $15.

And I guarantee 90% of people on this earth would probably not know the difference between the two.

Because let's be honest, as long as it doesn't taste like, you know, rat stick, that's right, you're probably going to drink it.

Right.

And that's just like, it's the constant getting one over on the next person, getting one over on the next person, getting one over on the next person that's just become kind of like part and parcel of the American experience that really fucking sucks.

And so, you know, this is a Diageo, you know, this Mexican brand, but they're selling largely into the United States.

And, you know, the guy who's signing his own baseball bats and the la fuz and all this other stuff, it's just like, I guess it's a sign of the times.

And this has been going on forever and ever and ever.

It's not any, there's nothing new here.

People have been hoodwinking people forever.

But it's at a corporate scale that is massive.

It's and it's true.

It's all following this story.

We should all kind of be following this story because I think that these people being held to account, right?

The insider dealing, the insider trading, the insider patting you on the back, and you know, it's okay.

You're slipping the guy a couple bucks to certify your blue agave or whatever it is.

It's happening at the highest levels of government and corporations, and it's happening at the lowest levels of La Fufus and La Cuckus.

You know what I'm saying?

Okay.

All right.

And maybe we should all start paying attention a little bit and decide whether or not this is a really

sustainable way

of treating each other, a sustainable way of living in general.

Now, I'm not going to go politics on this, but I'm going to go politics on this, right?

When people at the highest levels of our government are using their positions to make billions of dollars for themselves, their family members, and anybody else associated with them, and are blatantly and obviously giving it away to the highest bidder, what would you expect the corporations would do also?

And then what would you expect the guy on Instagram is selling the Lefofus to do?

If they're doing it, I should be doing it.

If he's doing it, they should be doing it.

It's just one of those things.

It trickles down from the top.

And if the people all the way up there are doing it, what makes me any different?

Why shouldn't I also get mine?

It's an attitude.

It's a mood.

It's a vibe.

And we all ought to vibe check a little bit because that's fine.

You know, hey, listen, I don't argue with anybody's opportunity to

get theirs.

I've always said it.

I'm a capitalist through and through.

Go get yours.

But

when the way in which you do that screws everybody else along the way and you're using your

dishonest,

dishonest, slippery, slidey, you know, sideways.

You know,

I don't have a $400 million plane from anybody.

No one's offered me a $400 million plane that I get to use after I get out of the chair at the commercial break.

It's fucked up.

It's just fucked up.

It's fucked up.

It's not right.

It's not good.

And we should all start thinking about what's this going to look like 10 years from now.

If this is what's going on now, what's this going to look like 10 years from now when the next person comes in or the next person comes in?

And if Diageo is able to sell me Don Julio for $150 and it's made with possum piss, then what comes next?

La poopoos.

That's what's next.

La poopus.

La poopoos.

Pretty soon we're going to be selling each other shit colored dolls for 300

what were we watching where oh oh it was that show it was the show we were where everything was painted decorating sense

that's right i feel like i'm living in a shit colored world we're all treating each other like

all right well it's good to be back i got in the rant now i feel better i feel so much

yeah i didn't have one in 10 days it's like a it's like an orgasm every once in a while you got to to do it.

We need to come up with a sticker for that or a saying for that.

Set of EPMs.

Yeah.

Rants per month.

Yeah.

RPMs.

RPMs.

Rants per show.

RPS.

RPSs.

Yeah.

Rants per show.

Chat TCB said I should start cutting up all my rants and putting them on TikTok because people love rage bait.

That's true.

It is true.

But I'm not going to do it.

Yeah, I don't.

Yeah.

I'm not going to do it.

Number one, because I'm entirely too lazy.

But number two,

because that's not how I want to be remembered.

I'm just going to say that's you don't want that to be the image of the show.

Yeah.

I mean, it is the image of the show, but I don't want it to be the image of the show.

It is the image of the show, but I like the people who are listening now.

I don't want additional people coming to listen to me rant.

You know what I'm saying?

You never know what you're going to attract.

True.

True.

I don't want it.

I don't know what it is, but I don't want it.

I don't know who it is, but I don't want it.

All right.

August 4th.

That's this next Monday as this show is being broadcast, as it's being distributed.

Next Monday, August 4th, 2025, through the 18th of August and through the 18th only.

ShopTCBpodcast.com.

That's shoptcbpodcast.com.

The website should open up sometime, you know, early morning, midnight, or whatever.

So don't go there now.

It's not available now.

But it'll open up.

You'll be able to pre-order our very first merch line.

And we would love it if you would.

Please, please do.

Your free TCB exclusive sticker and any merch and any size, go get it.

Go get them, kids.

Attack.

Attack.

By the thousands.

Attack.

Swarm.

Swarm.

Let's see if Chat TCB can buy some too.

Hey, Chat TCB, you want some?

And then August

9th, Chrissy and I, that Friday, August 9th, Chrissy and I will be here watching the Rally LA live on streaming and distributing those episodes Saturday and Sunday.

So pay attention.

TCBPodcast.com, your free sticker there also.

All the audio, all the video, youtube.com/slash the commercial break.

At the commercial break on Instagram at 212-433-3 TCB.

Questions, comments, concerns, contents, ideas?

We take them all.

Okay, Chrissy, that's all all I can do for now.

I think so.

I'll say that I love you.

Best to you, and best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Until next time, Chrissy and I will say.

We do say, and we must say.

Goodbye.

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