Making NO Cents!

This episode is sponsored by our good friends at 5 Hour Energy.

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And happy birthday to me.

Out here, we feel things.

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People have no idea where cell phones came from.

So cell phones are extraterrestrial technology.

Have you seen the pictures of that original Nokia phone?

They're symbols instead of letters.

It's ancient, thousands and thousands of years ago, but it was found.

You gotta look this up.

There's actual pictures.

It's so cool.

Unless they've censored it.

iPhones originally used to be called Miis, used to be a device where certain beings could communicate with the gods, which were extraterrestrial.

People have no idea where cell phones came from.

On this episode of the Commercial Break.

Welcome back to Decorating Sense, where we are in the middle of a psych windship makeover.

It's kind of a bohemian living room, and that mirror looks like

bohemian.

There is nothing bohemian about that.

I mean, I've known a lot of bohemian people, and they have much better taste.

Eclectic, but much better.

Oh, good.

I did not think we could top the mirror.

But we have.

This is...

Come on, take a guess.

It's either an ottoman, a weird pillow, or a TV cover.

Yes!

That's right.

A TV cover.

Oh.

Oh.

You covered your TV back then?

This wasn't that long ago.

It was 2007.

The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now.

Oh, yeah, cows and kittens.

Welcome back to the commercial break.

I'm Brian Grane.

This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris and Joy Holy.

Best to you, Chrissy.

Best to you, Brian.

Best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Yeah, Chrissy and I just,

well, quickly talking about Perry Pharrell or Peripheral, if you think about it, because I met Perry Pharrell one time, down a little five points,

and he said his name was Peripheral.

So there you go, as in Peripheral Vision.

The story of Jane's addiction is a wild one.

It really is.

yes and if you ever have a chance to if you ever have like 38 minutes of your life to waste and you're high

probably on heroin you can go and listen to letters to ziola which is a prelude to three days the song three days

They are a concept art band is rock band is really what they are think of them as like a pink Floyd updated to the 80s and 90s.

They started in the 80s.

They became popular in the 90s with Ben Caught Stealing and that video that goes along with Ben Caught Stealing.

And they become wild.

They become catchy tune.

It's a catchy tune.

The mountain song, Ben Caught Stealing, Three Days.

It is formative as far as I'm concerned in my interpretation of music and what it can be.

It tells a story.

Three Days is an epic song.

It's like 12 minutes long and it goes, it's like a symphony.

It goes through different, you know, overtures and it's beautiful.

And his voice is haunting in a lot of his songs.

But he is a loony too.

Let's make no doubt about it.

He, he has, I mean, as all tortured creative types are, including myself, so I know this well.

Perry has had some issues over the years.

He has had,

he's no stranger to drugs.

I believe he's been sober for some time.

I don't think you make it to 78 years old.

He used the Lollapalooza.

Ron's Lollapalooza.

He put Lalapaloo together.

It was originally his idea to get a bunch of bands together.

Jane's Addiction part of the first and the second, and maybe even the third Lalapalooza.

Then he brought it back from the dead after it kind of fell apart.

Now he's got two versions of it: one in Brazil and one in Chicago, that they do every year.

And it's loved.

It's beloved.

The Lalapalooza brand is still very much alive and kicking.

But Jane's Addiction has been on again, off again for many, many years.

That's nothing new for them.

They are like the

Pink Floyd.

They are Pink Floyd.

They are a concept art rock band, and they get together and they break up every 15 minutes and you just never know what's going on with them.

Like nine months ago, 10 months ago, they were out playing a show in Chicago, I believe, I think.

And or maybe it was New York.

I can't remember.

They had an on-stage altercation.

Yeah.

Perry Pharrell started to punch

Dave Navarro.

Now they've been at each other's throats since the band began.

Dave thought he was the head of the band.

Perry thought he was the head of the band.

They went blah blah blah.

But this was like a wild interaction and it's online.

It's it's there's video of it.

You can go watch.

If you haven't already seen it, you can go watch it.

Well, now the members of the band are suing Perry for $10 million,

saying that he took money out of their pockets by derailing the entire two of them.

Yeah, because they had just had they just kind of started, they just started again.

I think they even had a new music that was coming out, all kinds of stuff.

Listen, Perry is not at the top of his game, 69 years old.

He's not at the top of his musical game.

None of them are.

I mean, let's just age.

That's age in general.

I'm also not at the top of my podcasting game, and I'm going to get worse from here.

So let's just call it expectations.

Yeah, set expectations correctly.

That's right.

I remember,

I want to say it's 1996 or 7.

They had been broken up for a couple of years.

They got back together.

They were coming to Atlanta to the ballroom here in Atlanta.

And the ballroom was like literally an old bowling alley that had been cleared out.

And they would,

the electric ballroom, they would put people in this

space that was huge, cavernous.

And then there was like no seats, no.

Yeah, there was an electric ballroom in Knoxville, too, and it was like an old warehouse.

Yeah.

Electric ballroom

Atlanta.

Oh, is it still around?

Oh, no, no.

It can't be around.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, 1,500 seat capacity.

Anyway, so Jane's Addiction came here

and

we went.

We managed to score tickets, $30 tickets.

And we went to this Jane's Addiction show.

And I'll never forget this show.

Why won't I forget this show?

I will never forget this show

because

1997, November 15th, 1997.

I'll never forget this show because I had a chain around my wallet and my chain was taken from me.

They would not let me go in.

I had to take the chain off my wallet.

And that's when I broke free from the chain.

You broke free from the chain.

Never put it back.

No, I'd put it back on occasion.

I would wear it on special occasions.

Weddings, funerals, stuff like that.

Bomitzvas.

But that was a wild show.

There were strippers dancing in corners of the ballroom.

The band was hot.

They were on fire.

Perry never had the best of a live voice.

It was always kind of all over the place.

But I remember being, it was the show was wild.

I loved it.

I could imagine.

It was just 1,500 of us watching them play the hits.

But it's sad because I think that had they stayed together and had Perry been kind of more together upstairs, that he would have, they would have put out more great music, especially during those years when they were really hot back in the 90s and maybe even the early 2000s.

Porno Papyros was good.

We make great pets, stuff like that.

So anyway, you know, here's to hoping that the guys can find a way to reconcile.

It seems not.

No.

It seems like not.

But let's be honest about it.

At his age, you know, are they going to go on another, like, I mean, that's not the kind of music.

I don't know.

Then I say that, but then Rowling, then Keith Richards is still doing it.

You know, I don't know.

Maybe.

Maybe they get back to get it.

Maybe he can get back on the high horse.

And by high horse, I mean heroin horse.

Maybe he gets back on that heroin horse and we can all get some good music out of him again.

But to do yourself a favor, you want to know about how wild

and wonderful and wacky

Peripheral gets?

Go listen to Letters to Ziola, which I listened to one night when a silky, sultry woman took me to her lair and put that on, and we got high as fuck.

It was a wild night.

A wild night.

And we listened to it like four different times because you got to listen to it to start.

It's his letters to this lady who, his girlfriend, who passed away, and how she,

I don't know, they've put their body together.

You go figure it out.

Okay.

Okay.

So do that.

All right.

Now,

speaking of dead things,

I'm going to jump on a bandwagon here that's been beaten to death.

But I like it, so I'm going to jump on it.

Speaking of dead things.

Speaking of dead things.

speaking of dead things i'm going to jump on it on a horse that's been dead for a while it's been beaten to death and why not you heard it here last on the commercial break for a number of weeks maybe months people have been circulating an old hgtv show called decorating sense c e n yeah

i think i remember that show okay i do not until people started i don't know i do not i did not know about it in the first place but when people started circulating video of it i thought it was crazy that this is one of these early home renovation shows

where you would invite somebody into your house.

And the premise of the show is they have like $200 to renovate an entire room of yours.

Now, you can imagine, even back in the 90s, I think when this is filmed, early 2000s, how much $200 can get you.

And the things that they come up with are odd at best.

At best, odd, if not totally insane.

These are things you would not do to any house if you wanted to redecorate it.

But this is what they do.

And this was an actual show.

And it went around for a while.

And now everyone's remembering that time that this show was on and how crazy it was that they were decorating houses with, you know, paper-mâché and grass.

And

old dog bones.

Okay, so let's watch an episode together.

We're starting a little early in the episode because I want to see if we can get through the entire episode.

It's about 27 minutes long.

You want to do it?

Let's do it.

Let's do it.

And by the way, there are so many people that are out there doing this.

I mean, a lot of them.

Oh, really?

Yes.

This is new to me.

Well, there you go.

Well, you're not on the social media, so.

Not very much.

Not enough, Christy.

Next on Decorating Sense, the homeowner of this small space gets a lesson in living large.

I lovingly call it the chateau because it just is so tiny.

We're going Bohemian Modern for under $500.

In our no-money.

God, were we that bad at decorating back then?

Yeah.

Thank God for Chip and Joanna Gaines.

Which, let me say this about Chip and Joanna Gaines.

I just want to say this for a minute, and I didn't know this, and now I know this, and I'm really happy to say this: that Chip and Joanna Gaines, I guess, have not been shy about discussing their evangelical Christian beliefs.

I did not know that.

I had no idea.

Like everybody else in the world, I've seen enough Chip and Joanna to last me a lifetime.

I haven't watched their show in five, six, seven years.

But now they have the new channel.

They do.

Magnolia.

I like that channel, channel, actually.

And I hear that some parts of Austin aren't dedicated to Magnolia, all of Magnolia.

It's like they decorated the entire town.

They made it famous, essentially.

I think they were really on the forefront of Austin, Texas becoming a hot.

Is it Austin?

Are they in Austin?

I think so.

I don't think it's Austin.

I think it's right outside of Austin.

I know they have.

I know it's Texas, but.

Okay.

So

they have a new show.

They cast a gay couple with a son in that show.

And then a bunch of famous evangelical preachers knocked Chip and Joanna for this.

Chip and Joanna are not in the show, they just own the channel, which the show is on.

They're executive producers.

And Chip went right at them and was like, oh, it must be nice that people who don't even know the Lord are getting their first taste of judgment from those who are preaching it.

Right?

Yeah, good for you.

He went right at it.

And I was reading the tweet or the social media

responses that he was giving to this.

And I thought to myself, good for you, Chip.

Yeah.

Good for you.

There you go, buddy.

We makeover what to do when one room serves three purposes.

And in Trash to Treasure, we'll turn you on to some great ideas for old life fixtures.

It is a lot of music, isn't it?

Tambourines thrown in there.

Hi, everybody.

I'm Joan Steppen.

Welcome to Decorating Sense.

30-year-old Laura Murphy is artistic in every way, but decorating.

A former actress, now theater publish, says she would love to have her home reflect her outgoing, slightly offbeat personality.

And by the end of today, she will have a living area worthy of applause.

Despite its small size, Laura's 1928 house holds a big place in her heart.

It's my little

cottage in the city, my little one-bedroom bungalow, and

it's my haven.

Okay, settle back, grab your popcorn.

We are going on it.

That is decorated in a style that it's hard to explain.

It's Laura Ashley meets

Laura Ingram meets Dr.

Laura.

Tour.

It's terrible.

Yeah.

A little tour.

A little tour.

Here's the living room.

Lovely.

And then behind us is the master bedroom.

Those chairs are like right up to each other.

If you're sitting there in those chairs, your knees are knocking together.

Yeah, this really is a very tiny house.

No knock on the tiny house.

Love the tiny house.

Think of all about it.

But look at the look at the air conditioning controller on that house.

Yeah, you actually have to physically turn that with a with a twist tie or something.

And just right over here is the kitchen.

Ooh, spacious.

And the dining room.

And done.

Laura says bigger is better when it comes to gardening, but housekeeping?

I like it being so small because I don't have to clean as much.

Truth be told.

What about decorating?

I've moved the furniture so many times.

There isn't another way that I can move the furniture to yeah how how do you move furniture around a 50 square foot yeah i mean if you if you're not what if you're not watching this on youtube then you should know that this is a very small place but there's no decorating sense to it whatsoever in my opinion and this is coming from a guy

I mean, who has posters on his walls.

You know what I'm saying?

I have no decorating sense either.

Make it feel spacious.

You know, I don't know.

I don't know if that's really the whole thing.

I know.

I know.

Style-wise, Laura likes to mix it up.

She's partial to reds and golds.

Is your theatrical side coming out at all in your house?

You know, I've got the opera posters.

I have,

I actually work in the theater district.

I feel like it's so, you know, theater music is so much a part of who I am that,

yeah, I definitely want that to be reflected in my home.

Laura spends a fair amount of time working from her home.

Her secret desire, space to entertain.

Well, I've been here for about three years.

Yeah, that's why I'm not sure.

I have to give up on that dream.

Yeah, well, you don't have to give up on that.

Maybe there's a big backyard

or an additional 5,000 square feet you can put on the front of the house.

And I've never had any sort of a gathering.

I didn't have a housewarming party.

And so I hardly ever have more than two or three people over at a time because where would you put them?

We'll leave that up to our designer.

Sidewinchip, big imagination, very small car.

What do you have?

What do do you have

what do you have oh my god look at that a design board with twill sheepskin rickets a poster board that is yes ideas this chip and joanna this is god

i have no idea what i'm looking at but it's bold and it's bright

orange she's theatrical yeah

she's afraid of color apparently but she Who trusts the guy who shows up in a brown t-shirt with paisley pants to decorate their house?

Not be afraid after this.

And we're not afraid of color.

What do we have in there?

Let's open the boot and see.

We're gonna need help.

We need help.

This little thing holds a lot.

Speed it up there, John.

Wait a minute, didn't we see these before?

There's more.

How many do you have?

35.

35 chairs.

I don't care if it's a small room.

It's gonna be a lot of seating.

Dinit!

Finito!

So far, I think he's just taking trash out of the trunk, Prussia.

What in the world?

Is there anything worth putting in your house that's coming out of that car?

Scientists, we're about to find out.

What's that?

We're about to find out.

Oh, here we go.

Act one, scene one.

Taping.

Really taping.

We're taping some lots of taping.

Stripes everywhere.

Oh, yeah.

This is going to be a process.

We use a level to pencil on our lines.

What makes most sense, staying true to the baseboard or staying true to the level?

Of course, nothing is as easy as it seems, especially with 80-year-old walls.

As long as the stripes are the same width all the way around, they're going to be so dominant.

Yeah.

I sound like I know what I'm talking about.

All right, he's putting some painters tape on.

Putting some painters tape.

Looks like they're going for stripes in the house.

Perfect!

They'll never know I'm here.

And perfect.

I don't want stripes anywhere in my house.

I'm red.

I'm brown.

Yeah, you gotta be careful with that.

Look at those colors.

Look at the colors.

Oh, my God.

Brown, red, and orange.

Shit, brown, blood red, and commercial break orange.

I know.

I've always wanted to.

Yeah, no shit.

Balls, this red's called Heartthrob.

You are a red hat.

I know, but nothing like this.

I think I'm actually closer to orange than I am to red.

Sy says the key to making bright colors pop is to pair them with neutrals.

I'm freaking out.

No!

So I want to freaking out.

That's not even good painting.

What are they doing?

I don't know what they're doing.

This is what you get for $500.

Goat!

Now, if I can only convince him of that, why do I do this?

How do you hear about it?

I act as if I know what I'm talking about when it comes to style, but I do know that you should probably not paint the trim of your house and the walls of your house the exact same color, unless that color is white.

You know what I'm saying?

The brown is an awful brown color.

It really is brown.

It is doo-doo.

What am I worried about?

He's gone for a whole wall.

I've done a whole shit wall.

Here's my shit wall.

Best food restaurant comes to a small, sweet little cottage.

It's going to be beautiful.

It's tanky.

It's going to be dramatic.

It's going to be

daring.

We just want served burgers.

Exactly.

Well, that is the first rule of decorating is a new coat of paint, but I don't think they chose the right combo.

I would pick one color and stick with it.

You got to understand if you're listening to this, they literally put lines randomly on the wall and decided to paint four different colors.

It looks like the Venezuelan flag.

What is going on there?

And 80 bucks later, this room is gorgeous.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

That looks like a.

I take my kids to some play places at like a Burger King, and that's what it is.

Burger King

is

curtain call.

All ready?

Yep.

Red wool drapes.

I mean, we're doing,

drama.

Yeah.

This is drama.

She's in the theater.

Let's add yet another color to this multicolored wall.

Another color that heavy wool.

Oh.

You know, so.

It's fabulous material.

Just four bucks a yard at a fabric outlet.

This wool provides the same softening effect as velvet for a lot less.

A non-traditional tie-back finishes the look.

Look.

Oh my God.

This looks like someone threw up on the wall.

This poor lady.

I wonder how quickly some of these people change this after these folks leave.

Yeah, I mean, listen, if someone came in and said, I'm going to do this for free, I'm going to spend $500, I'm going to change this room.

And I knew that as soon as they left, I was okay to change it to something else.

You know, hey, why not?

If I can just change it back to the way it was, why not?

All right, let's take a break.

We'll be back with more HGTV decorating sense.

Jumping on a bandwagon here, kids.

So far, so good.

You make this rather snappy, won't you?

I think somebody can be picking to do before 10 o'clock.

Hi, cats and kittens.

Rachel here.

Do you ever get the urge to speak endlessly into the void?

Like Brian?

Well, I've got just the place for you to do that.

212-433-3TCB.

That's 212-433-3822.

Feel free to call and yell all you want.

Tell Brian I need a race.

Compliment Chrissy's innate ability to put up with all his shenanigans.

Or tell us a little story.

The juicier, the better, by the way.

We'd love to hear your voice because Lord knows we're done listening to ourselves.

Also, give us a follow on your favorite socials at the Commercial Break on Insta, TCB Podcast on TikTok.

And for those of you who like to watch, oh, that came out wrong.

We put all the episodes out on video: youtube.com/slash thecommercial break and tcbpodcast.com for all the info on the show, your free sticker, or just to see how pretty we look.

Okay, I gotta go now.

I've got a date with my dog.

No, seriously, Axel needs food.

Today is pork chop day.

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace.

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Hello, it's Lena Dunham.

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Okay, back watching Decorating Sense.

We're here with some girl who lives in a small place and she's hired or let these people into her house to destroy it.

Here we go.

They're currently hanging blood-red curtains in a multicolored wall that's painted like a Burger King.

And when it's not a tieback,

you open your curtains like to that far, it's a trend piece.

Gorgeous.

High drama for low payout.

Now, there's a reason all this is cheap.

There's a reason.

There's There's a reason why this is so inexpensive.

It's because no one wants it.

It's terrible.

Time to turn Laura's bookcases into room dividers.

We remove the particle board backing.

Room dividers?

What?

I mean, I don't know how much room you have to divide.

Get a Chinese screen.

You know what I'm saying?

This is silly.

That is what?

These go in here.

Uh-huh.

We're going to put two of them on.

They're old freebie legs.

Yeah.

We'll mount them there.

Love it.

Cool.

One done, one to go.

I think these guys are like the worst decorators in town, and they also got paid $200 to do this.

Meanwhile, I get to work adding detail with peel and stick leading strips and glass beads.

It's wiggly, and I'm not supposed to stretch it.

Oh, no, now it's stuck.

What is tape will hold the beads in place until the glue dries?

They are literally adding fake

trim to the inside of windows with glass beads.

With a glass bead in the middle.

Yeah.

No, the people on the internet are right.

This is one of the worst decorating shows I've ever seen.

Is that straight?

Look.

Tell me it's straight.

Okay, good.

Not bad for four bucks.

And our recycled bookcases are looking pretty good, too.

Oh, my God, Chrissy.

That's really bad.

I've never seen anything like that in my life.

They've matched the Doo Doo Brown to the bookcases.

Yes.

When I got a divorce from Julia, she mercifully came over

heart in hand and decided to help me

decorate.

But by decorate, she put like, you know, a lamp on a table,

you know, told me where to put the furniture, you know, stuff like that.

But it was definitely, definitely decorated by a man.

I mean, it was definitely lived in by a man.

You could tell.

There was nothing on the walls.

I had a picture of my family in the corner, one table lamp and furniture.

Oh, yeah, you remember.

Okay, there you go.

I stepped it up a little bit when I moved to the next place, but that's because I moved in there with a woman also.

I have never even come close to being this bad at decorating.

You have to try to be this bad at decorating.

We add not one, but two rugs cut from a single remnant.

I mean, it would have looked way better without that doo-doo brown.

I would have made that a theme and the whole thing.

I think just take out the multicolor altogether.

If you're going to go doo doo brown, just make it all doo-doo brown.

You know what I'm saying?

Go full shit-colored walls.

bucks for the pair

okay so i'm driving along the street in a very nice neighborhood yeah and there these are all piled up on the boulevard most people would keep driving but not cy who slip covered the whole thing using a vintage case neighborhood

trash he's going to the rich neighborhoods to look for trash well hey listen can't argue with you i I got nothing against that.

I wouldn't pick furniture like things I would sit on personally, but I've seen some stuff on the side of the road that had I not been afraid of getting hurt by somebody, I would have picked up.

You know what I'm saying?

Um, happens all the time.

And listen, no argument there, but this is not what you pick up from the side of the road.

Too that he's picked out two cream chairs that are very low to the ground, and then bring out the brown.

Bring out the

time for the brown.

Bring out the diarrhea.

Let's put it on the chair.

Fabric is beautiful.

It's called an old

poodle frisee because it's a loopy loopy 1950s chocolate brown.

Could it be any better?

Chocolate brown.

Yeah, it's hot chocolate.

It's a lot of work, but for 20 bucks?

It pays to drive around with a pickup.

She got friends over and everyone can lie down and watch the TV.

Oh, that's terrible.

A set of nesting tables freshened up with a coat of paint stands in the middle.

Let's throw in a McDonald's yellow into the mix now that we've got all the colors of the shit rainbow.

Let's throw in after McDonald's diarrhea.

There's a coffee table, but if you want a really unique table,

you use whatever the heck this is.

What do you think they are?

Any idea?

You know what?

I've been looking at it and oh, you want it?

Thanks, Jeff.

I think

wallpaper printers.

Wow, you're good.

You're very close.

Wallpaper embosser.

Side didn't change a thing.

Not even the color of these embossers.

Jeff simply cut a base and top from plywood, and now we're assembling them using screws.

Oh my god.

It's so bad.

It looks like you bought that at a circus.

Yeah.

That looks like something they would make for a Disney World ride when they were trying to get it to look like a different time period.

Do you know what I'm saying?

And if you thought that was unique,

you got to tell everybody about this little piece of chocolate insanity because it looks like candy is stuck to this.

It's so cool.

Isn't it terrific?

It's a little

dull.

Get more doo-doo brown.

And now it's got small dildos on the front of it.

We're giving Laura a place to stash her electronics using a couple of cast offs I picked up for next to nothing.

The DVD player will go in here.

Her speakers can go in there.

And those wacky bumps, clay spacers from an old kiln.

That is what I was talking about.

Clay spacers from an old kiln.

Kiln.

Who's looking in an old kiln?

My father-in-law is printing more stuff in case you're wondering.

That's amazing what you'll find in a friend's garage.

It's had, ooh, ooh, ooh, what are cheese?

Gimme, gimme, gimme.

We're using more of them to create a funky frame for a mirror and we're gluing them on.

Glue them on and then

another free more dog-turd brown from a friend's basement.

He said, you want this old convex mirror.

Like, who doesn't want an old convex mirror?

Had just cut this.

Uh-huh.

And that's what we'll do.

I would pay somebody to take this out of my house if this happened to me.

I would pay somebody to take this out of my house.

It's this whole thing of like found objects, you know?

What's what's that?

It's free.

Can I make it into something?

I love that.

Sometimes decorating is about breaking into your friends' garages and taking everything that's not nailed down and deciding later what it can be.

Well, we are $241 closer to giving our homeowner's living room a modern bohemian look.

When we return, hopefully we'll be done with this mirror.

And then we will move into the dining room and then we're going to bring back Laura.

Oh, boy.

Coming up next, how to get an art gallery look for less.

How to put more brown in your brown.

He's all over that brown.

This is terrible.

Plus, a surprise housewarming for Laura.

And in our no money makeover, what to do when one room serves three purposes.

Okay.

Well, I look forward to that.

I look forward to that, Jem.

God, this really was bad.

This is really bad.

Oh, is this a

commercial spacer?

Because,

oh, there we go.

Welcome back to Decorating Sense, where we are in the middle of a psy windship makeover.

It's kind of a bohemian living room, and that mirror looks great.

Not all that bohemian.

There is nothing bohemian about that.

I mean, I've known a lot of bohemian people, and they have much better taste.

Eclectic, but much better.

Oh, good.

I did not think we could top the mirror,

but we have.

This is, come on, take a guess.

It's either an ottoman, a weird pillow, or a TV cover.

Yeah,

That's right.

A TV cover.

Oh.

Oh.

You covered your TV back then?

This wasn't that long ago.

It was 2007.

TV cozy.

Side-covered a box made from foam core with a layer of felt.

I thought that was like foam.

Yeah.

He's using reinforced strips of the same felt and glue to create sort of a woven effect.

That is weird.

A nice, probably.

downtime, you know, after you've had some major surgery.

You've got a couple of months to yourself.

Well, we continue on here.

I think this is a guy at art school.

I have a couple of kids, 70, and a few of them are really tactful about their art.

And then a few of them just take all the colors of the rainbow, textures, colors, and they mix them together.

Yeah.

And that's, they're much like their father in that way.

Just throw everything at the wall and see what sticks.

I feel like this designer is that guy.

Jeff has another project.

Rematting Laura's black and white photos with orange mats.

Back in the living room, the photos look awesome.

Oh my God.

Word to the fashion savvy, if you have yourself a TV, you should make yourself a TV cozy.

A TV cozy.

Yeah, do you wonder if the host is in on this, like how bad this really is, or is she just as oblivious as the designer?

I think she's getting paid to be the host.

I think you're right about that.

It's awesome.

It's awesome.

Look at that.

He was so happy in your earrings.

Ow, ow, ow.

Okay, they're not real earrings, but they are real crystals discarded from a broken chandelier.

So I got these paper shades.

Uh-huh.

Painted them with extra wall color.

With more brown.

With more of it.

I mean,

it's all over that brown.

Oh, my God.

I punched some holes with a needle.

And a light kit.

But I'm not sure.

These are like lead crystals.

Things that someone said, I hate this thing.

And I said, well, you know, goodness, I'll take it and make something out of it one day.

And guess what?

One day came.

I bet this guy, I bet he's a hoarder.

I bet at his house, there's just like so much

shit.

I still don't know why you need the TV cozy.

I don't know why either.

It's pretty common that people have TVs in their family-range living rooms.

Yeah, you don't need to hide it.

Moving on to the dining room, Jeff begins prepping display boxes outside while Sai and I do a little rearranging inside.

And this

more brown.

More brown.

Brown on, brown, on, brown.

Claria is huge

there's so much brown in that

she said she wanted theater colors is brown a theater color not that i know of not that i know of but then again i've heard this thing from a theater kid come those boxes

okay and that is just the beginning we are putting how many of these cubes on the wall 14 14 of them 14 14 cubes on a wall brown

brown when you have 100 square feet and the cubes are one foot by one foot by one foot sticking one and a half feet out the wall.

Take away space.

Yes, you're taking away all the space.

That's the cube.

Here's the plan.

It involves math.

I'm out of here.

Here's a conversation piece for you.

It is a styrofoam wig head, some cinnamon candy, polyurethane spray.

Cinnamon candy?

A wighead.

A styrofoam wighead.

A styrofoam wighead.

And red hots all over it?

Food all over it.

You couldn't trust me around that.

I'd start eating them.

That wig had to be gone.

And now it is hard work.

But why stop at one wig form when two is twice as nice?

Make a three or four.

You've got a collection.

Oh, just a minute.

Oh, those things are waking up in the middle of the night and chewing on your neck.

I'm sure of it.

That's fucked up.

Anything will do from apples to oranges.

Yeah, let's put real fruit on our living room shit boxes.

That's That's awful.

For the ultimate and discount art, clean out your basement.

That is a dildo.

That is a dick.

Basement, paint everything the same color white

and put it on the boxes.

Clean out your what?

Clean out your basement, the dildos from your basement.

Paint them white and stick them half erect on your dick on your shit boxes.

Granted, it's not everyone who has a friend giving away free chandeliers, but it sounds like he got all this stuff from other places.

Or his basement.

Or his

friends.

Now, this is a dining room set.

You cannot help but notice this.

It's a store.

Thrift store table, free set of school chairs, and the same color as the wallpaper.

Heartthrob in a black-free set of school chairs.

Heartthrob.

Heartthrob.

I have to kneel to have breakfast.

Red.

And we've got a beautiful set.

Added a little embellishment over here.

Little craft balls for detail.

Yeah, it's cool.

More white accents top off the table.

And finally, accessories all around.

More mannequin heads.

Oh, man.

He's got forever.

And that's not all.

Check out these gorgeous pillows Sy made.

Look at that one.

Look at them.

Oh, they are awesome.

A few more touches and we are done.

Oh, throw in a pink lamp.

Oh, yeah.

Throw in a bright pink lamp on the doo-doo brown with the mcdonald's orange and the wendy's yellow my gosh oh my we are done i know what were we i had those exact same shoes he's wearing by the way i just want to throw that out okay so that him and i share the same

design sensibilities here i'll uh back up just a little bit um those shoes okay yeah i liked them very much they're very comfortable yeah

we are done I know.

What were we trying to do?

Bohemian modern.

I think that's what it was.

Oh, I think it's there.

I can't believe this room.

I love the art wall.

I know.

With the apples.

That was the best.

I love it with the white.

I think the white wall.

Oh, the best.

Look at all those dicks.

That is one weird room.

They have really made this trippy.

Bohemian, not.

Ansel Adams?

Not.

Not.

What's the guy's name?

The guy who does all the trippy artwork?

Salvador Dali.

Salvador Dali, for sure.

That's where it went.

All right, let's take a break.

We'll be back with more decorating sense.

And this turned out to be the show everybody's talking about.

Yep, it's just as bad as they say it is.

Why don't you text us and we can text back?

And then you can text us and reply, then so on.

It's a fun little game I've been playing, and I think you'll be great at it.

212-433-3TCB.

That's 212-433-3822.

You could leave a message too.

If you do, maybe you'll end up being the voice of the show.

But be warned, the pay is not great.

You could go to the website and drop us an email, also, tcbpodcast.com.

And while you're there, you can get a free sticker.

Who doesn't want a free sticker?

Just go to the contact us button and ask for one.

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Now I'm going to go back to that texting game.

You want to play?

Come on.

Bye.

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Back to it, decorating scents.

Here we go.

Final home stretch.

Let's see what they had.

Let's see the big reveal.

Oh, yeah.

Let's see how the owner cries after she finds out that her terribly decorated house went to holy shit bad decorated house.

It's cool.

Your pillows are insanely good.

They are really dear.

And the pillows are bad.

She kind of did the whole thing.

That's right.

If you took just the pillows and put them on a decent couch, I would say that I would be happy with that.

If you could just do that to my house and leave the rest outside for someone else to take

a brown couch.

Down.

I'm sorry.

If we did nothing else but make her comfortable in front of the TV,

we've done our job.

How much did you spend?

You'd have to lift up the cozy.

Yeah.

I can't get over the cozy.

The weirdly shaped, oddly decorated cozy for your TV.

Because who wants to see a TV when you're watching TV?

Thank you for free stuff is what we have to say.

Thank you for free stuff.

I don't want to get up off her couch, but I know we have to go get her.

Yeah, we have to go get her and bring her in.

Okay.

Oh

my gosh.

Did she just open her eyes in the middle of her own room?

That was a weird edit, wasn't it?

Usually they like walk you in the door or something.

All of a sudden, they just show her opening her eyes in her room.

Oh my gosh, you weren't kidding.

I know.

Oh my gosh, you weren't kidding.

Someone took a holy shit in my

Sorry, it's so different.

It is so different.

I think I love it for the camera.

It's terrible.

Who says you can't always get what you want?

We tap the hidden potential in this blend.

Well, we do have to remember how bad it was before.

This is true.

Bungalow with unexpected color, loads of texture, and a touch of theatrical flair.

This just doesn't even look like the same place.

Look, I'm totally floored.

Before, Laura's oversized chair and love seat were too big for this small space.

Now, a sectional puts

now boxes on the wall take up the rest of the space.

Fun and make everything brown.

Yeah, now a sectional takes up more space than the other chairs did.

While colorful pillows and funky accents provide an

I know, while dark walls make it look smaller than it was before.

Escape from the ordinary.

Look at the chandelier.

Look at the chandelier with the plastic Christmas lights on top of it.

Plastic Christmas lights.

And you think I'm joking.

I'm not.

Look at that.

I know.

That's what people in the 80s put in their windows as votives during Christmas time.

It's your art wall.

I'm almost trying not to cry.

I love it so much.

Because I am going to have to do so much work to change this.

Thank you so much.

I'm almost trying not to cross.

There's weird heads everywhere.

How do you feel in a room like this?

I feel super hip and cool.

Well, we do have one more surprise for you.

Oh, no.

We left you with the bill.

We charged it all to your credit card.

Okay, everybody.

Oh, my God.

The housewarming party Laura always dreamed of.

You're fabulous.

Dear Isaiah, another great makeover for under $500, but I do hope you stay tuned.

Well, we have a little housewarming party because coming up next, an interior redesign.

Cut the cake.

Let's go.

Cut the cake.

Get me the fuck out of here.

Just ahead, our redesigner tackles a New York apartment with one room for working, eating, and, oh yeah, living.

And later in the show.

What's that?

It's called a studio.

Yeah, it's called a studio.

Apartments are pretty common in New York, I think.

All right, let's fast forward to this party.

Oh my god, yeah, this went bad.

Yeah.

No-cost decoration.

Washington Heights, on the northern tip of Manhattan, is where actresses well now you get to pay $7 million to live in Washington Heights, I think.

Corey Haley Fox lives.

I just love my neighborhood up here.

It's a real family-oriented place.

And even though I'm still in Manhattan, it's just nice.

Wow.

Those teeth

are a...

They're big and they're white.

They're like George Washington teeth.

Weren't his made out of wood or something?

Something like that.

I mean, no offense.

Maybe she had an accident or whatever, but it's that's a veneer job.

Still a neighborhood.

She has a small one-bedroom apartment.

My living room area pretty much is everything.

It's my dining room, it's my office space, it's my living room.

And she's been busy decorating since she moved in two years ago.

I painted everything.

I like color.

I have this sort of angled so that I could separate the area from the eating area and the office space.

I I love Eastern philosophies and things, so I have a lot of Buddhas and things in here, which I enjoy.

My end.

Yeah, most people actually get Buddhas.

Not like actual pictures of Buddhas in tin frames, but okay.

Tables and my coffee table are actually kind of important to me.

They were my mom and dad's first pieces of furniture when they got well.

Yeah.

She likes her stuff, but she's not sure it's in the right place.

What I don't like is that it's a little bit boxy.

I just think there's a better way of doing it.

And the dining area doesn't get much dining.

I only use it if somebody's here and I'm having dinner.

Our redesigner can help.

So I know she has three purposes for this room, but in this case, separating the room with the couch isn't working.

The dining room is totally ignored, the conversation space too spread out, and the walkway way too tight.

We get busy.

Everything out but the TV and the.

Oh, thank God you don't have that other guy coming back to paint everything brown.

At least the paint rollers are not there.

Yeah, so I want to try a new position.

Which is our first.

Oh, well, that's what she said.

Challenge.

What you thought?

Yeah, I guess it's okay.

Now for the two chairs.

I want to try actually bringing the TV down the wall and maybe do the chairs on either side.

Okay.

How do you feel about that?

It's totally different.

It's definitely more intimate.

My big thing was reversing that sofa, getting it on this side of the room, and opening up this space.

Now I can integrate the dining room into the seating group.

You want to do it?

Yeah.

Okay, I like it.

Integrate it.

Go.

Integrate.

You had the rug in here, but all the furniture was all the rug.

Yeah, none of it was on it.

So now it really kind of feels like, okay, we can all sit on the rug together.

We get our tables in place.

Can you get out now?

Bounce back.

All special pieces from Lori's parents.

Now they kind of take center stage.

Yeah, which is great.

Good.

We're lifting the sides of the dining table to give it more presence.

I'm thinking we put the dining room on the rug.

That'd be great.

And then I want to get a longer chain and swag your candelabra out and get it out from the wall.

That'd be great.

Yeah, I'm not sure this has changed anything about this room, but okay.

My living area and my dining area are one big area now.

I saw...

Nothing like a creepy Buddha sitting behind you on a...

On a couch.

Your bedroom.

Yes.

Some bigger pieces of art.

Yeah.

And I'm hoping that we can use them in the...

Great.

Yeah, let's go.

Okay, good.

When we started, the art was so small and hung way too high.

There was a lot of negative space and it didn't even really relate to the seating group.

Now we're hanging some larger pieces at.

I mean, here's my question.

Like, even, like, I know this is 20 years ago or so, 19 years ago, 18 years ago.

Don't you have

like an IKEA you can run to and grab a little bit of, you know,

more modern furniture.

Yeah, Target, where there's some throw pillows or a $30 chair or something like that.

Yeah.

And again, I am no decorating expert by any stretch of the imagination.

Thank God for Astrid.

But, and I know our house is no decorating specialty either.

It's beautiful.

But every once in a blue moon, you go to the store and you pick up a couple knickknacks and you change things around a little bit.

These are really poorly decorated places in the first place.

Some height and drama to the room, and it feels so much more

Yeah, that looks awesome.

With the accessories, we're really bringing in Lori's personality.

Before, all the things she loved were just scattered on the floor, and now we're giving them a place of prominence.

And the dining area is also getting the attention it deserves.

A little lower, you can see it in the mirror.

Yeah, but she's nice.

Yeah, you hit your head on.

Yeah, no shit.

And that's not even a real chandelier.

It doesn't have any lights in it.

No.

This table all the time.

Right.

This might be candy.

We started

with the candles.

The sectioning off the contract.

Nothing like setting the entire apartment building on fire.

It's just great because now all the areas complement each other.

Nothing's cut off anymore.

It's just one great big festive space.

Oh, yeah.

I want to jump right in, take a nap in there.

That's

all right.

Well, you know, hey, listen, Chrissy, to each their own.

This is definitely the train wreck show that everybody has been talking about.

There's no doubt about it.

And so, there you go.

Where we've soft ourselves.

Hey, but Pete Davidson's having a baby, so we're all happy.

That's all that really matters.

Cheers to Pete.

Not even sure we talked about that on this episode, but it's all starting to bleed together at this point.

A little bit.

Oh,

all right well there you go decorating sense find it on uh youtube because uh that's where it is it's as bad as you think it is oh yeah there's no doubt whenever and there's episodes where people on instagram specifically have taken bits and pieces yeah put it together commented on it real designers people that have a good design eye for design and they are super funny so if you want to get a real laugh out of decorating sense get the condensed milk version out there on instagram everybody's doing it it's the hot trend right now to make fun of Decorating Sense.

For Decorating Sense.

Yeah.

But it is pretty bad.

I mean, I can't even believe they let this run.

But this is long before HGTV was a thing.

Right.

Yeah.

It was in its infancy.

Yeah, $500 was all they had because no one was advertising on HGTV.

I wonder where this woman is now, the lady who hosted it.

The host?

I was thinking the same thing.

She's somewhere.

Not on HGTV, but somewhere.

Yeah.

She's probably on Canadian TV doing something.

Anyway, all right.

Merch drop coming soon.

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Questions, comments, concerns, contents, ideas, we take them all on that phone number.

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Right now.

Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today.

Bye, thanks.

I'll tell you that I love you.

I love you.

Best to you.

And best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say, we must say, bye.

Bye-bye.

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