Cruising For a Cavity Search!

Speaker 1 This episode is sponsored by 5-Hour Energy. Caffeine just got a flavor upgrade with what they call tasty caffeine, 17 bold flavors that actually taste good.

Speaker 1 You know that midday moment when your brain just stalls out, but you still have a full list of things to do? Well, that's when I reach for a 5-Hour Energy shot.

Speaker 1 Each tiny two-ounce shot has about as much caffeine as a 12-ounce premium cup of coffee, but with zero sugar and zero crash.

Speaker 1 It's big flavor, packed into the smallest, easiest bottle, perfect for tossing in your bag, in your car, really anywhere.

Speaker 1 And since it's still fall, they've brought back the ultimate seasonal favorite, pumpkin spice. Ah, yes, pumpkin spice.

Speaker 1 A little cinnamon, a little swagger, sweet, rich, and totally cozy without being heavy.

Speaker 1 Fuel your day with tasty caffeine, available in store and online at 5hourenergy.com or get it delivered by Amazon. Give yourself a caffeine flavor upgrade with 5-Hour Energy Shots.

Speaker 1 Get yours in store and online, 5Hnergy.com or on Amazon today.

Speaker 1 This episode is sponsored by Jack Archer. As a man, finding a good pair of pants can feel impossible.
Jack Archer's Jet Setter tech pants make that easy. These are the one pair you need.

Speaker 1 They're built with advanced fabric sourced from Japan that resists wrinkles, stains, and odors. Whether it's a long flight, a workday, or a night out, these pants do it all.

Speaker 1 With customizable fit options and thousands of five-star reviews, trust us, these are the one pair of pants you'll actually want to wear every day.

Speaker 1 And they just launched a matching blazer in the same unbelievable fabric, all for an amazing price of $249 for the suit. It's a no-brainer.

Speaker 1 For a limited time, get 15% off using the code getjack at jackarcher.com. Again, that's the promo code getjack at jackarcher.com for that 15% off, your entire order.

Speaker 2 And thanks to JackArcher for being a sponsor of the commercial break.

Speaker 2 People like the show, why are they on the charts? What's the fuck they talking about?

Speaker 2 I shut it off and suit the stats. TCB is terrible.

Speaker 2 This show is fucking bad.

Speaker 2 I'd like to punch Brian in the mouth.

Speaker 2 This podcast is kind of sad.

Speaker 2 Is this what we think is funny now?

Speaker 4 How do I turn it off? My ears are saying ow. Stop laughing at yourself.
Are these two making sense?

Speaker 4 At least I didn't pay him deaf in my defense. CCB is terrible.

Speaker 4 That is being kind.

Speaker 4 Both the hosts are idiots.

Speaker 4 They left the funny behind.

Speaker 4 What is this show about? It's offensive to my soul.

Speaker 4 Bright is a hack. These two aren't funny and so old.

Speaker 4 Why all the hype? How did this get made?

Speaker 4 So many episodes, none of which are great. TCB is terrible.

Speaker 4 Worst show you could do.

Speaker 4 TCB is terrible.

Speaker 4 Worst to

Speaker 4 you.

Speaker 3 On this episode of the Commercial Break.

Speaker 3 The dog's nose was so sensitive that it had smelled the weed days after it had been in my shorts because I hadn't washed my shorts or anything like that.

Speaker 3 And then they went on to explain as they were taking every single thing out of my luggage and shaking it down and having the dog sniff through it.

Speaker 3 They went on to explain that this does happen pretty often, but that is just part of their job. And I said, okay, no, it's okay.
Let's, you know, I got to get going. Okay, see you later.

Speaker 3 And he said, one more thing. One more.
You wouldn't have any like, you wouldn't like stuff anything in your side.

Speaker 3 And I'm like, like my ass? And he was like, yeah, you wouldn't do that, would you? And I'm like, no, I wouldn't do that. He's like, do you mind if I take a look?

Speaker 3 The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah, Cats and Kittens. Welcome back to the Commercial Break.
I'm Brian Green. This is the dear friend of mine and the co-host of this show, Chris Joyhole.
Best to you, Chris.

Speaker 3 And best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Speaker 3 How the hell are you? Thank you for joining us. We are considering a cruise, a TCB cruise.

Speaker 3 We'd like to know if you'd like to join us.

Speaker 3 We didn't talk to the cruise line about it, but we're pretty sure they're going to be okay if one or two of our listeners show up onto the cruise with us.

Speaker 3 Chrissy's got a friend who's like a travel agent for many years. Yes.
And this morning, Chrissy says,

Speaker 3 I don't like cruises. I mean, she has always stated on this show and otherwise, I don't like cruises, not interested, not going to go.

Speaker 3 And then all of a sudden, she gets a pricing list for this crazy deal that's going on for like 30, 40 cruises. And the prices are outrageously low.
They really are.

Speaker 3 And I'm like, this has got to be a joke, but it's coming from a reputable source. Norwegian cruise lines.
Very good.

Speaker 3 This is not a sponsorship here. I have nothing to do with Norwegian cruise lines.
And I know how much an actual cruise costs because I've been on a few of them. This is insane.

Speaker 3 Like 14-day cruises for $600 for the cabin.

Speaker 3 The cabin. The entire cabin and food included and drink included all and a shore excursion.

Speaker 3 Shore excursions and specialty dining, which are the really nice restaurants they usually have in the cruise ships that almost definitely mean you have to break out your American Express or what, or in my case, your Chime credit card.

Speaker 3 Your diner's club. Your diner's club.

Speaker 3 Your prepaid visa from Walmart.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you have to break that out because the specialty dining is where they make extra money. That's just it.
And certainly the excursions are part of that too. So this is like hard to believe.

Speaker 3 And we're thinking to ourselves, why don't we go and do some commercial break episodes from a nine-day Mediterranean cruise? Now, the catch is because there's always a catch.

Speaker 3 The catch is: yes, they are dirt cheap, but you have to find a way to get yourself to the port. And the port is

Speaker 3 this one that we're looking at: Barcelona, Rome, Reykjavik, somewhere that's pretty far-flung.

Speaker 3 Even the ones here domestically are out of Seattle, which is not exactly a hop, skip, and a jump away from Atlanta. But regardless, that is pricing you can live with.
$600?

Speaker 3 Just

Speaker 3 there are, just listen, there are many cruisers who will tell you, like hardcore cruisers. And there are many.
And there are many. Yes, there are whole.

Speaker 3 There's some people that go live on a cruise ship. There's retirement cruise ships.

Speaker 3 There are four-year cruises, 10-year cruises. There are lifetime cruises where you just pay every month, like rent, like $2,000 a month.
And then you just live on the cruise ship.

Speaker 3 And wherever the cruise ship goes, you go. On all the dead legs, on all the renovation legs, on all that, you just live.

Speaker 3 Or you get off the ship and they put you up in a hotel while they renovate the boat or whatever.

Speaker 3 I've seen videos about it yeah and it's fascinating i know and i i love the idea there was an idea floated around for a long time about a floating retirement home

Speaker 3 the world's largest cruise ship essentially it would just float around the oceans and then it would have smaller boats taking people in because it was too big to even dock anywhere They got some money together for this.

Speaker 3 There were investment firms involved, but it fell apart like a lot of these big engineering projects do because you actually couldn't make that.

Speaker 3 You actually could not make a floating island like that.

Speaker 3 It turns out, but it was an idea, and I loved the idea. The big thinking makes me excited.

Speaker 3 Like when you look at the UAE and they're putting together, you know,

Speaker 3 we're going to build Disney World, only 70 times bigger than Disney World actually is with ports and flying airplanes and roller coasters that are 10 miles long. I get excited about that stuff.

Speaker 3 I'm like, good for you, big thinking. But it never comes.
Didn't we talk about

Speaker 3 the line?

Speaker 3 Yes, we did. Because I sent that article to you and you're like, yeah, that's not.

Speaker 3 yeah that's not happening yeah and it didn't happen by the way they got like 10 miles of it dug and they started pouring the foundation and even by like modest standards of what people thought actually might come of this most people are going this is a joke this is never gonna happen 10 miles long anyway this cruise you you get there the thing is you could spend that 600 and do what hardcore cruisers tell you to do which is yes it's nice to go see the sights and sounds but a cruise ship is best when everybody else is off of it.

Speaker 3 True, I can't do it. You can get the great, the best service.
You can do shopping and dining, sit by the pool, get a nice chair on the top of the deck, go talk to other cruisers.

Speaker 3 It's just like a nice time to be on the cruise ship when no one else is there.

Speaker 3 Now, defeats the purpose a little bit for me, and I'm a little too claustrophobic to be on the ship the entire, like even the big ship that I've been on, I want to get outside the ship.

Speaker 3 What's the point of like going to all these amazing places if you're not going to get off and go see them? If you're a hardcore cruiser, you've already done it.

Speaker 3 Oh, okay. And you know, the gig on a cruise is

Speaker 3 any place.

Speaker 3 Any place that has big cruise ships that come in, any major ports, New Orleans, Tampa,

Speaker 3 you know, the Space Coast, any of that, any of that. When they go down to their destinations, the Bahamas, Mexico, even in Europe,

Speaker 3 there are entire ecosystems of people that want to separate you from your Euros or wherever it is, your rupees or wherever you happen to go. Your rupees.
I like that name.

Speaker 3 I just like the thought of a rupee.

Speaker 3 They want to separate you from that. And they are master

Speaker 3 people. Yes.
It's the same t-shirts at every port. They buy them from the same Chinese company.
It's the same fake jewelry and Fendi bags. So you're turning me off again from cruises.

Speaker 3 So when you do a cruise, like we did when we went to Europe, only because we already understood you got to get away from the pack, right?

Speaker 3 If you go to Rome, like you can't actually pull up to Rome in an ocean. It doesn't work like that because Rome is actually

Speaker 3 surrounded by land. Yeah.

Speaker 3 But you can get pretty close and then you take an hour-long train ride there.

Speaker 3 Well, you can buy the tickets from the cruise ship and you can go on their little thing and then you're going to be hustled onto a bus where some dude is going to try and sell you an additional package to take a tour and see the sights and you have three hours in Rome.

Speaker 3 So you can do this and you can do that and stupid earpiece and everyone's going to be fine. There's a red red flag and everyone's fine.
Or you can just beat a path of your own. So that's what we did.

Speaker 3 That's what we like to do. Yeah.
We grabbed a cab. We went to a local train station.
We just beat the buses there. We found tickets.
The train was sold out. So a lot of people got screwed.

Speaker 3 We got on the train. We went to Rome.
We ignored all of the tour packages and we just went and did what we wanted to do. And that was, it was lovely.
It was enjoyable.

Speaker 3 And we did that in most of the ports. Yeah.
See, I don't like to have a schedule. I like to have city that I'm going to be in in the hotel and

Speaker 3 know that for how many days. And then there's a couple things that are maybe on my list, but I may just decide when I get there, I want to hang out in a cafe all day and drink wine and people watch.

Speaker 3 That's what we did. We found our favorite restaurant in Rome and we went there once.
And then again, twice. So we went for lunch and then we went again for an early dinner.

Speaker 3 We went twice to the same restaurant in one cruise day

Speaker 3 to Rome. And listen, we all loved it.
We were okay with that.

Speaker 3 The reality is, like anything in life,

Speaker 3 usually going against what everybody else is doing will present some problems and some opportunities. And you're either that kind of person or you're not.

Speaker 3 There's plenty of people who like to just go with the flow, like go where everybody else is going and do the thing they want to have planned for them. Yeah, they want to decide.

Speaker 3 I want to decide. I want to decide.
But there are entire YouTube channels dedicated to the people like us who miss the cruise ship.

Speaker 3 That probably would be

Speaker 3 those are great fun. It's great fun to watch people lose their place on the cruise ship.
Probably leave the cruise. Who knows?

Speaker 3 Some of these people are such fucking nudniks. I mean,

Speaker 3 the horn is honking for an hour.

Speaker 3 We went to Mallorca

Speaker 3 on the cruise, on one of the cruises we took. We went to Mallorca.
Astrid and I had been there before. We knew about Mallorca.
So we knew. It seems to be beautiful.

Speaker 3 Mallorca, forget about it. And Mallorca, like the actual Mallorca, the city of Mallorca on Mallorca is like the least interesting part of Mallorca.

Speaker 3 Go off the beaten path in Mallorca. It's so fucking gorgeous.
It's heaven. It's heaven.
I would live there in a heartbeat.

Speaker 3 So we, the cruise ship pulls up with 12 other cruise ships. Literally, there's like a million cruise ships.
You know, there's like, I don't say 12. There's five huge cruise ships parked.

Speaker 3 I've never seen those ports.

Speaker 3 Everybody's getting off. Everybody's walking across the street to the cathedral, getting on their buses, going up into the town, getting cheap gold, you know, doing all this crazy crap.

Speaker 3 And we go and we beat a path of our own. And then we get back.

Speaker 3 It's a short cruise window, meaning because of weather, we only had like four or five hours. Got adjusted.
It was supposed to be 12. It ended up being four or five.
Whatever, cool. We went.

Speaker 3 We get back. An hour before the cruise ship is supposed to take off, because we know.
In our heads, because we've seen the YouTube fucking videos, that you should not even try and play that game.

Speaker 3 And by the way, the cruise ships usually leave within 30 minutes of each other. Everybody has the same,

Speaker 3 they're all following each other around the Mediterranean.

Speaker 3 They're following each other for safety. They're following each other because that's where the good weather is.
And they're following each other because that's by maritime law.

Speaker 3 That's where they're supposed to go. You can literally look outside of your cruise, a cruise ship at night in the Mediterranean and see the cruise ship behind you and the cruise ship in front of you.

Speaker 3 Yes. And the ones on the side of you and the ones going this way, there are shipping lanes.
So you see them.

Speaker 3 They're not like stacked on top of each other, but just like sometimes you look outside an airplane window and you see an airplane like 10 miles off in the distance

Speaker 3 flying over the Atlantic because you all are flying on the same lanes, you're going in the same weather direction, whatever it is. I don't know.
Who knows? I'm not a maritime law expert.

Speaker 3 I just know what I saw, what my app was telling me. Okay, all right.
So here's the point:

Speaker 3 get on the ship and you hear the horn

Speaker 3 30 minutes to go

Speaker 3 10 minutes to go

Speaker 3 5

Speaker 3 minutes to go.

Speaker 3 Yeah,

Speaker 3 boy. You want to get your ass on that ship? You know what I'm talking about? And then eventually.
5:30!

Speaker 3 Time to leave.

Speaker 3 And guess what? Those ropes are coming up and they don't give a shit. And they know if people are off the ship or on the ship and they don't give a shit.
Yeah, you gotta, you can't can't hold up

Speaker 3 for a couple people. Captain has that ultimate decision, but usually five, ten minutes.
I've seen

Speaker 3 emergency, of course, if there's something wrong, or somebody's in a medical emergency, or, or there's a legitimate reason why you should be holding the entirety of everybody else's vacation up because you're a fucking asshole.

Speaker 3 But we saw, I could see out my balcony. Many people running.
Oh, yes. Oh, no.
Many people running. You get it at the first horn.

Speaker 3 You know, at the first horn, there's like five, ten, you know, people running up to the ship. It's quite a bit of people, actually.

Speaker 3 Yep, there's 15, 20 nudniks running on the ship. And then the 10-minute warning.
Oh.

Speaker 3 Then you got another three or four stragglers. You know, they're running with all their backpack and everything.

Speaker 3 And they're dragging their kids by their collar. Let's go.
And then you get the five-minute warning.

Speaker 3 And that's when the fun really begins.

Speaker 3 Because that's when you can see from the cathedral across the street, you can see people getting impatient impatient for the light to turn so they can crawl through the crosswalk and they're waving, you know.

Speaker 3 Oh, God.

Speaker 3 And I watched it. I watched it happen.
I watched it. People got left.
I don't know because I didn't see anybody getting left at the terminal, but I saw people just make it. Right.
I mean,

Speaker 3 they were pulling up the gantry and people had just gotten on board. And so, you know,

Speaker 3 but there are lots of videos, and I mean lots of videos where people don't make it. And the cruise ship is literally pulling away at what looks like one mile per hour.

Speaker 3 And they're just like standing there at the dock. There's usually a representative of some sort, like a port authority, you know, but sometimes it's just them on the dock going like this.

Speaker 3 And people are clapping, they're cheering, they're waving goodbye. Is there any way that you would be able to like, you know, quickly pay someone and then just get you over there on the boat? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Oh, you can't meet back up.

Speaker 3 No, no, no, no. Big no, no.
You can't jump onto a moving cruise. That's for pirates and the Coast Guard.

Speaker 3 I mean, I'm sure they do have a

Speaker 3 door, right? And they probably have a ladder.

Speaker 3 Like in the next port.

Speaker 3 That is likely what you would do on a long,

Speaker 3 on a long cruise. That's likely what you would do.
You'd have to figure out a way to get to that next port.

Speaker 3 Yeah, like if you were in Rome and they said, hey, the next port of call is Sicily or something like that.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you, I guess you could take a train or find a quick airplane to go there because all your all your bags are on the train. All your stuff is on your shit.

Speaker 3 And that's likely what you would do. But if it was a short cruise, like a four-day Caribbean, they would let you back on in like the next day.
Yeah, sure. Okay.
Absolutely. Yeah.

Speaker 3 As long as you have your identification and your cruise ID, like usually you get a bracelet. You know, it's one of those kinds that's not coming off until you actually cut it off.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 A bracelet or you have a key card or whatever. As long as you're the person that was on the cruise, you'll get back on the cruise.

Speaker 3 But the captain, ultimately, it's a captain's ship and he is probably judged on whether or not he gets someplace on time.

Speaker 3 Now, here's the crazy part about all this. If you look at like, I have an app called Marine Traffic on my phone because of course I do.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I track ship. I like to track ships.
You're targeting the planes. You're tracking the planes.
Yeah, I'm tracking everybody.

Speaker 3 I'm Chad GPT AI, big brother. I just need to share my location with you at this point.

Speaker 3 Listen, some people do, and I don't know. Rapfield does.
And I said, dude, I woke up one morning and Rapha's like bouncing around Venice. And I'm like, What are you doing?

Speaker 3 I go, Why are you sharing your location? He goes, Oh, I must have done it for the Pearl Jam concert.

Speaker 3 And I said, Oh, I see you're in Venice. He goes, Yeah, I'm here for a week.
I go, Okay, I just thought I'd let you know you're sharing your location with me.

Speaker 3 He's like, It's good that somebody knows where I am.

Speaker 3 It makes me feel better. He goes, I'm keeping it on.
And he still has it on. Sometimes I check on him.
I'm just like, What's Rafa up to?

Speaker 3 But yes, you know, I track those ships sometimes. And one of the things one of my kids kids loves to do is he wants to know where the Disney cruises are at all times.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 There's like five or six of them. We like to look and see what location they're at.
What you'll notice is

Speaker 3 the Castaway Cay, which is their private island, which a lot of their cruises go to from Florida.

Speaker 3 You know, you go spend the day on Castaway Cay, which is a beautiful, manufactured, but beautiful place.

Speaker 3 You were saying, was that the one with like the rides and stuff? There's no rides, but they have like out in the middle of the ocean, like waist deep, they have an entire water park out there.

Speaker 3 So you can go

Speaker 3 and you do water slides into the ocean. It's really quite cool, actually.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 But my kid got stung by a jellyfish, and that wasn't so cool. But anyway, whatever.
So

Speaker 3 it's a beautiful island with

Speaker 3 more white sand beaches than you've ever seen in your entire life. All these chairs.
You just go, you grab a chair, you sit there, you get a cocktail, whatever. But you can watch these ships.

Speaker 3 And the thing is, they say, okay, we're going to go to Castaway Cave for the day, and then we're going to have a sail day where we're sailing back to or the next location or wherever.

Speaker 3 The Caribbean's not that big. A ship can get from point A to point B, probably in four or five hours.

Speaker 3 But then in the middle of the night, they just turn the engines off or they start swimming in a circle, right? And that same thing happens in the Mediterranean.

Speaker 3 I noticed on a lot of these cruises. It doesn't take them an entire night to get over to the next place, but they'll just spin around for a little while.

Speaker 3 Yeah, not anchor, but they'll float out there or they'll turn the engines off. They'll keep themselves in a certain direction, but they're going half a mile per hour, right?

Speaker 3 And they're just kind of going out there. So a captain's really being a dick at 5.30 when he says, well, 5.30, 5.31, got to roll them up.
You got plenty of time.

Speaker 3 I mean, it's not like you need it, you know, if I don't get out by 5.30, I'm not going to be there by 5.30 in the morning the next day. No, but they stick to, I understand, you got a timeline.

Speaker 3 You got a timeline. You got to stick to it.
I get it. And can we really inconvenience everybody?

Speaker 3 Everybody else wants to watch us sail away and be out in the ocean and the Mediterranean for two nudniks who spend a little extra time buying fake gold at the Moroccan, the Majorcan gold factory or whatever it is.

Speaker 3 Yeah. And by the way, there's one in every port.
So you're going to be just fine. Go to Grand Bahama.
Pull up to that one. No.
It's a bizarre. No, I do not.
I have no interest.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's the thing is that, you know, in Jamaica, too, like we went to Ocho Rios, it's the same thing.

Speaker 3 It's the same thing when you get off the ship in Ocho Rios as it is when you get off in the Grand Bahama, as it is when you get off wherever. And all the Caribbean ports, they're all the same.

Speaker 3 They're selling the same different people, but they're selling the same shit. You got to get a little beat off the get off.
Yeah, we cracked it off. Beat off.
Beat off, Brian. Beat off the beat off.

Speaker 3 Beat off the beaten track. Over there by the whacking tree.

Speaker 3 You got to go buy some weed from a Jamaican guy. Yeah, well, that's a given.
That's a given. Yeah, we had a driver.

Speaker 3 We already knew him. He'd been recommended.
He was a friend of a friend. Did he get you weed? Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Did he have weed with him? Yeah.
It was like in the cab? Yeah. Yeah.
He was like, yeah.

Speaker 3 He was ready. Here it is.
But once we got on the road, he had the beers and the weed for us. We were ready to go.
Fuck yeah. We went over to Negrill.

Speaker 3 Lovely. Absolutely love.
Didn't take me but 15 minutes to get myself in weed trouble.

Speaker 3 You got in trouble. I got in a lot of trouble because I tried to give the guy $20 for like this much bud, and he ended up giving me an entire bud this big, a stalk, a tree.

Speaker 3 He wanted to sell me the entire plant.

Speaker 3 Didn't you have to go like in the back or in the room of some

Speaker 3 tent? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Imagine just like tents, like festival tents, you know, like temporary festival tents, a line of them. Imagine Shakedown Street at a fish show or Grateful Dead Show or Widespread Show.

Speaker 3 But imagine this goes on, it's in the Jamaican forest. So it's near

Speaker 3 these very famous waterfalls in Ocho Rios.

Speaker 3 And so there's trees over, it's just like a kind of a darkened place, but there's hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of tourists going in and out of these little temporary tents, buying knickknacks and trinkets.

Speaker 3 And so I go into one tent and I don't know the first thing to ask. So I'm like, hey,

Speaker 3 you know, I'm doing this whole number.

Speaker 3 Yeah. And the guy's sitting behind the counter.
He's looking at me and he's like, you got a problem, man. You okay, man?

Speaker 3 And I'm like, hey, you know what?

Speaker 3 Yeah. And he's like, you want some marijuana? I'm like,

Speaker 3 this is Jamaica, man.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's not illegal. Yeah, he goes, come on, brother.
Come on. I take care of you.
And then we go back into another tent that's behind that tent, into a third tent that's behind that tent.

Speaker 3 Now we're like in the, in the uh, I don't know, we're in the factory of the tents or something.

Speaker 3 We're back in the storage area, the bowels of the tent, where they keep all the trinkets they got from China that they're going to sell you, right?

Speaker 3 Boxes of them. And he opens up this like wicker basket.
And I'm like, he's like, he's like, what you want, man? And I go, I don't know,

Speaker 3 30.

Speaker 3 And he's like, 30. And I go, dollars, $30.
Okay, I got you, brother. And he goes, you got something to put this in? And I take a cellophane off my cigarette pack and I go like this.

Speaker 3 And he's like, you're going to need something bigger, brother.

Speaker 3 And I'm like, it's only hot.

Speaker 3 And he's like, we'll figure it out. He opens up the wicker basket and he pulls out a bud this big.
It's like two feet tall. And I'm like.

Speaker 3 Oh, no, no, no. I was thinking like a little bit.
This is a little bit, man. This is a little bit.
What do you want? You said 30. I thought you wanted the basket.
I look in the basket.

Speaker 3 It's just filled with bud. I mean, just

Speaker 3 I'm like, oh, shit. By the way, I don't smoke weed.
This wasn't for me. I didn't smoke weed at the time.
I swear to God, it was not for me. It was not for me.

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 3 I managed to negotiate. Paying more for much less.
You know, well, here, let me give you 60. Can you cut it in half for me? I mean, I was such an idiot.
I do that.

Speaker 3 Put it in the the cellophane put it in my swimming suit we go to the waterfalls or i put in my pants uh shorts i take off my shorts i put it in the locker put my swimming suit on go to the falls get out put you know everything in a bag we're still wearing our swimming suits put everything in a bag get back on the ship three nights later three days later three nights later

Speaker 3 purser comes on the the cruise purser okay

Speaker 3 on the tv it just pops on it's weird like that that's how it happens on a cruise ship just pops on

Speaker 3 Hey, it's Dave, your purser, and I'm so glad you joined us on your carnival cruise. Didn't you have a good time? Weren't we all excited about Jamaica? So much fun.

Speaker 3 Now, we all know what happens in Jamaica. Little ganja, make you gotcha.
You know what I'm saying? Little crazy, little crazy Jane, little Mary Jane. Wacky Wee.

Speaker 3 Wacky Wee, wacky tobacco, as they call it. Now, when we're in international waters, there's certain laws we apply and don't apply to.
Of course, it's not legal to have marijuana

Speaker 3 on our boat, but sometimes people do make the mistake of bringing it back on the boat.

Speaker 3 I'm going to tell you now, we're going to be in American waters in less than six hours, and it's 1,000% illegal to have marijuana on your person. So I just go ahead right now and take care of that.

Speaker 3 You can throw it over the side of the boat, you flush it down the toilet, or do whatever you got to do with it. And I'm like, oh, okay, thanks, Dave.
Thanks for the heads up.

Speaker 3 Because of the entire cellophane pack worth of bud that we had, we still had the entire cellophane pack worth of bud left. A lot of it.
All of it. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I think someone took one hit of it and threw up and spent the rest of the day in bed. It was strong.
It was strong.

Speaker 3 And so I threw it out. That's what I did.

Speaker 3 I put it down the toilet. Like he said, I threw the cellophane away, put it down the toilet.
Next day, get to the port.

Speaker 3 going up the very tall escalator to go from where the where you get off the boat and then you got to go up the escalator into customs.

Speaker 3 And as I'm riding up the escalator, I see that there are two officers standing with a very beautiful German Shepherd.

Speaker 3 And I think the German Shepherd is my friend. I talk to the dogs.
I'm a dog whisperer. I like that dog.
Look at how cute that dog is. They don't talk to or talk or pet those dogs.

Speaker 3 Oh, I went right up to it. I went right up to it.
I'm a dog lover too, but I, yeah. But it didn't take me, I didn't have to get halfway to it because it came to me.

Speaker 3 And then it sat down in front of me. Yes.
And it gave me the paw. And I was like, oh, that's cute.

Speaker 3 Which is the signal that these dogs get. 30 minutes later, I was getting an anal cavity search by a U.S.
customs officer. Do you think I'm joking? I'm not.
I was.

Speaker 3 To which my brand new wife thought was hilarious. I did not think it was so funny at the time, but you know, it happens.
Anyway, you took one for the team. I did.
I took one for the team.

Speaker 3 It took like, I, and I was, I never lied to them. I told them, you know, they, when they asked the question, I told them, yes.
Yeah. In Jamaica, I had some weed, right?

Speaker 3 And they eventually got to the bottom of of the dog's nose was, I was wearing the same pants I had put the cellophane of weed in.

Speaker 3 The dog's nose was so sensitive that it had smelled the weed days after it had been in my shorts because I hadn't washed my shorts or anything like that.

Speaker 3 And then they went on to explain as they were taking every single thing out of my luggage and shaking it down and having the dog sniff through it.

Speaker 3 They went on to explain that this does happen pretty often, but that is just part of their job. And I said, okay, no, it's okay.
Let's, you know, I got to get going. Okay, see you later.

Speaker 3 And he said, one more thing one more you wouldn't have any like you wouldn't like stuff anything in your side

Speaker 3 and i'm like like my ass and he was like yeah you wouldn't do that would you and i'm like no i wouldn't do that he's like you mind if i take a look

Speaker 3 we'll go here it's a private bathroom over here so it's like two guy officers

Speaker 3 yes and i pull down my pants and i'm like spreading my ass cheeks and he's got a flashlight He's like looking at the underside of my carriage.

Speaker 3 It's the most humiliating thing I've ever been through. Oh, God.
Cruises. You've completely turned

Speaker 3 off from them again. Yeah, so anyway, if you want to join us for an anal cavity search and a cruise through the Mediterranean, we'll keep you posted on.

Speaker 3 We'll bring the gloves. That's right.
All right. We got more to talk about,

Speaker 3 including why we have a bunch of stuffed animals here in the studio.

Speaker 3 We'll talk about that when we get back.

Speaker 3 You make this rather snappy, won't you? Somebody can be picking to do before 10 o'clock.

Speaker 5 Hi, cats and kittens. Rachel here.
Do you ever get the urge to speak endlessly into the void? Like Brian? Well, I've got just the place for you to do that. 212-433-3TCB.
That's 212-433-3822.

Speaker 5 Feel free to call and yell all you want. Tell Brian I need a race.
Compliment Chrissy's innate ability to put up with all his shenanigans. Or tell us a little story.

Speaker 5 The juicier, the better, by the way. We'd love to hear your voice because Lord knows we're done listening to ourselves.

Speaker 5 Also, give us a follow on your favorite socials at the Commercial Break on Insta, TCB Podcast on TikTok.

Speaker 3 And for those of you who like to watch, oh, that came out wrong.

Speaker 5 We put all the episodes out on video, youtube.com/slash the commercial break and tcbpodcast.com for all the info on the show, your free sticker, or just to see how pretty we look.

Speaker 5 Okay, I gotta go now. I've got a date with my dog.
No, seriously, Axel needs food. Today is pork chop day.

Speaker 1 This episode is sponsored in part by Rula. You know, there was a time when I really needed therapy, but I could not find a therapist who took my insurance.

Speaker 1 I can remember feeling so stuck like I had to choose between getting help and staying on budget. That's why I think what Rula is doing is so very important.

Speaker 1 Rula makes therapy accessible and affordable by partnering with over 100 insurance plans. The average copay is around $15 per session, and depending on your benefits, it could even be less.

Speaker 1 They also take the time to find the right therapist for you, someone who understands your goals, your preferences, and your background. There's no waiting weeks or months for an appointment.

Speaker 1 You can start as soon as tomorrow, and Rula stays with you along the way, checking in, supporting your progress, and helping you feel seen and cared for.

Speaker 1 Thousands of people are already using Rula to get affordable, high-quality therapy that's actually covered by insurance. Visit rula.com/slash commercial to get started.

Speaker 1 And after you sign up, you'll be asked how you heard about them. Please support the commercial break and let them know we sent you.
That's rula.com/slash commercial.

Speaker 1 You deserve mental health care that works with you, not against your budget.

Speaker 3 This is Free Range with Von Miller, the podcast where I step outside the lines and I take you with me.

Speaker 3 Each week, we're talking everything from the biggest stories around the league to the biggest stories off the field. This isn't your average sports podcast.

Speaker 3 This is game meets culture, locker room meets living room, and no topic is off limits.

Speaker 3 So if you're into good good conversations that ruffle a few feathers join me every wednesday and follow free range with von miller everywhere you get your podcast

Speaker 1 this episode is sponsored by our longtime sponsor squarespace i am working on a new project information tbd it's very secretive it's very hush hush around here because you know podcast secrets are a thing anywho There is only one all-in-one website tool that's designed to help my new project stand out and be successful, and that one tool is Squarespace.

Speaker 1 Squarespace can help me through every step of the process. The launch, the scaling, the branding, and the growth.

Speaker 1 No matter what part of the journey I am on, Squarespace is an all-in-one website platform, so it'll cater to my needs every step of the way.

Speaker 1 There are so many benefits, services, and tools built into Squarespace, I would need a 10-minute commercial to name them all.

Speaker 1 Cutting edge design, search engine optimization tools, domain management, analytics, email campaigns, the ability to host videos, and most importantly, the ability to get paid.

Speaker 1 So if you've been thinking about building or upgrading your website, now's the time to head to squarespace.com slash commercial for a free trial.

Speaker 1 And when you're ready to launch, make sure to use the offer code commercial to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. That's squarespace.com slash commercial.

Speaker 1 Then be sure to use the code commercial when you're ready to launch. Squarespace has been with the commercial break for a long time, and we have been with Squarespace for even longer.

Speaker 1 This is a company we trust. It's a product we use, and there's one overarching reason why.
It makes my life easier. Go build yourself a beautiful website, squarespace.com slash commercial.

Speaker 1 And thank you to Squarespace for being a sponsor of the commercial break.

Speaker 3 All right, like three weeks ago, well, maybe it's longer than that at this point, we got a message from one of our fans named Jenny. It's a van listener.

Speaker 3 Sorry, I'm getting a little too sick of fantasy even even for my own taste. We got a text message from a listener who asked for our P.O.
box so she could send us something.

Speaker 3 And I didn't know exactly what it was, but she started to explain that it was something that she was crocheting. I guess is the way that you would put that, knitting crocheting.

Speaker 3 How would you say that? Yep.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 so eventually we checked the P.O. box because, you know, it's a P.O.
box. You don't check it every day.
It's not like it's right outside your house. So, but eventually we got to the P.O.
box.

Speaker 3 And I wanted a chance to just share with the other listeners that Jenny, doll face as she is, has made us four separate crocheted stuffed things. Beautifully crocheted.

Speaker 3 Beautifully crocheted stuffed things. I don't know which, they're not animals.
One is Lady Pea's a lot, which is in the shape of a pea drop, yellow, pea yellow, with a smiley face on it.

Speaker 3 One is Sir Poop's a lot, which is a brown poop with corn in it.

Speaker 3 There is corn.

Speaker 3 One has a big F on it, F-bomb. I'm imagining that's what that is, the F-bomb.
Yeah, as a bomb. And then the chill pill, a nice,

Speaker 3 lovely blue color, the chill pill. It is, they are lovely.
They are adorable. My children have been playing with them all day, asking exactly what they are.

Speaker 3 I

Speaker 3 told some of them what they are, but then the other ones I just said, they're just fun. Have fun with them.
So they've been throwing them around the house.

Speaker 3 They're super cute.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you can see them on youtube.com/slash the commercial break. Maybe I'll make a post about it.

Speaker 3 No promises there because social media is not my strong suit. So no post there.

Speaker 3 But if, if you would like your, I imagine that this is one of the things that one of the messages she would like us to convey, and I'm happy to do this.

Speaker 3 If you yourself would like one of these or something similar, text me 212-433-3TCB, and I will give you the information so that you can get a hold of her.

Speaker 3 And maybe you can get your very own set of little plushies, little stuffies, little crocheted stuffies. They are very adorable.

Speaker 3 They are very soft. I had to put them in the dryer because she kindly alerted me that she has a home that might have cats in it.

Speaker 3 And since I'm deathly allergic to cats, it was nice of her to do that, to go ahead and let me know that I might die when I take them out. Here you go.

Speaker 3 Going to the post office to get that stuff is an experience because the box was too big to fit into the actual P.O. box.
So I had to go and, you know, wait.

Speaker 3 Yeah. I do have to say the guy behind the counter was very, very efficient.
But the lady in front of me seemed to be a Jamaican lady, if I'm not mistaken, Jamaican lady.

Speaker 3 And she had a bag, and that bag I could see was leaking something. It was like gooey, right? And she kept like wiping the goo off like with her hand on the table.
And I was like, oh, oh.

Speaker 3 And it had like a funky smell to it that I couldn't quite figure out, like, was it food? Was it essential oil? Was it something along those lines?

Speaker 3 So she gets up to the thing and the guy grabs the bag and he's weighing it. And then he says to her, ma'am, there's something coming out of this.
And she says, oh, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 3 It just, it fell in some stuff I had at the house and it, you know, that's what it was. And he goes, uh, okay.
So he gets, he grabs a paper towel, he wipes it off.

Speaker 3 He starts fooling with the bag to put a sticker on it and all this other stuff. And then he holds it up and it's like dripping this goo.

Speaker 3 And he's like, I think this is actually coming from the inside of the bag. Do you mind me asking what's inside? Right.

Speaker 3 And she goes, well, I don't know and he goes you don't know what's inside the bag and she goes no i'm mailing it for someone else and he says well i think i'm gonna have to visible yeah she goes he goes i think i'm gonna have to decline to mail this um because and then he points to the wall no liquids no liquids that are open open container liquids nothing that's wet and he says you know i can't take anything that's wet like it's just not it's against the rules and uh she got very upset as a general rule you should never be mailing anything that you don't know what's inside of it for someone else.

Speaker 3 I think that's like rule number one. I think so.
I mean, you know, I used to watch this locked up abroad show. Remember that?

Speaker 3 It was a thing for a while. I'm sure it's still on, but it was a thing for a while.
It gave me great anxiety, but I did like to watch it.

Speaker 3 And I don't know why it gave me great anxiety, but because I travel abroad sometimes, I always feel like I could be victim to this because I could easily see myself being at a bar one day and some guy is like, hey, I want to send you to Mallorca.

Speaker 3 And I'd be like, Wow, Majorca, all expenses paid because I like you, Brian. You're the kind of guy I like.

Speaker 3 And I show up there, and I'm in some like five-star hotel, and then I got locked in a room with somebody

Speaker 3 who's like, You're not getting home unless you take this bag. But when you do get home and you take this bag, and you get to the other side of customs, I'll give you an extra $20,000.

Speaker 3 I could easily see myself falling for that.

Speaker 3 I'm dumb like that.

Speaker 3 But, you know, the one thing, like like when I listen, when I go to the airport and I hear them say, you know, please make sure you have packed your own bags. Do not take luggage for anyone else.

Speaker 3 I think to myself, really? Is anybody fooled? Does anybody fall in for that lately? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Like, I see the locked up abroad, but I'm pretty sure those people were complicit or at least understood what was going on at some point or another.

Speaker 3 Right, they were in on it. Yeah.
Like, who doesn't pack their?

Speaker 3 I don't pack my own bags, but I trust my wife. Yeah, you don't pack your own bags.
I trust my wife, right? Like, that's just a rule number one. You got to know what's inside of your luggage.

Speaker 3 Like, these people that get stopped and they have a gun with a bunch of bullets in the, and they're like, oh, I forgot. I forgot.
I forgot.

Speaker 3 You forgot you had a nine-millimeter, loaded nine-millimeter in your suitcase.

Speaker 3 Like, I don't know if that's what you do for a living, maybe, I guess, if you're just so used to having a loaded nine-millimeter in your luggage, I suppose.

Speaker 3 It's so dumb.

Speaker 3 I was reading about, this. It is an interesting segue.
Something I did want to talk about was on my list. There's an influencer,

Speaker 3 supposed influencer.

Speaker 3 I looked at his Instagram. He had like 12,000 followers.
So still more than the commercial break. Right.

Speaker 3 But if he's an influencer at 12,000, then we must be an influencer at 9.75 or something like that.

Speaker 3 We'll consider ourselves

Speaker 3 tastemakers, if you will. Tastemakers.
I like that.

Speaker 3 Tastemaker.

Speaker 3 Two years after something beats popular, Brian says, Hey, did you hear about this?

Speaker 3 Yeah, La Boo Boo.

Speaker 3 So, this dude, this influence, probably 20-something.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 he,

Speaker 3 two days ago, as we're recording this, two days ago, got arrested in the Atlanta airport

Speaker 3 with 30 pounds, pounds of

Speaker 3 weed gummies, Oh, liquid THC,

Speaker 3 hashish oil, and actual green marijuana, like plants. He was loading it up.
He loaded it up. And he was going to,

Speaker 3 I don't know where he was going to. Like out of the country.
He was going out of the country.

Speaker 3 God. He was going out of the country.

Speaker 3 He is such, I mean, honestly, like a real dipshit. Hold on one second.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I mean, it's one thing to go to Colorado and you come back with some gummies, but that's a lot for one.

Speaker 3 And for two,

Speaker 3 you don't risk taking stuff out of the country or back into the country. So

Speaker 3 I'm on a Reddit about this. A passenger arrested after police allegedly discovered $3 million in drugs.
It's never $3 million. It's $3 million if you sew that all individually.

Speaker 3 You know what I'm saying? It's overpriced.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Okay, here's what you need to know.
A traveler was arrested in Atlanta after officials found nearly $3 million worth of marijuana in his luggage.

Speaker 3 The 22-year-old was en route to San Sao Paulo, Brazil, allegedly carrying over 50 pounds of narcotics earlier this year.

Speaker 3 That's like the limit for your bag.

Speaker 3 That is.

Speaker 3 You had every inch of your bag with marijuana? Yeah, I guess he just had one full bag.

Speaker 3 What was this guy's name? I'm trying to figure out the guy's name.

Speaker 3 Vance Randolph, a 22-year-old en route to Sao Paulo, was placed in custody after officials alleged they discovered drugs in his suitcase.

Speaker 3 Following the arrest, Randolph was transported to Clayton County, facing marijuana trafficking charges. Yeah, that's definitely trafficking.
For sure.

Speaker 3 From the search, they found, oh, excuse me, 12 pounds of THC wax, 34 pounds of hashish,

Speaker 3 34 pounds of hashish power, hashish,

Speaker 3 4.6 pounds of marijuana, and 1.2 pounds of pasty marijuana.

Speaker 3 Pasty marijuana.

Speaker 3 I've heard of a lot of kind of marijuana, but pasty?

Speaker 3 What's up with that? Why you got to be

Speaker 3 a race thing? Pasty marijuana.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so Randolph is a supposed influencer online.

Speaker 3 It says supposed. It says supposed.

Speaker 3 This is after

Speaker 3 police discovered early this year a 40-year-old suspect attempted to board a flight to Atlanta when he was found to have 400 grams of cocaine taped to the underside of his wig.

Speaker 3 I love it. I love it.
It's ingenious. Yeah, I saw the pictures of this guy, by the way, earlier this year.
The wig looked like Teresa Caputo. It did.
It did.

Speaker 3 It was like unnaturally lifted off his head.

Speaker 3 All that coke. Yeah, not to mention it's probably seeping into your brain.
And you're all sweaty. It's like sliding off your head.
I would be so stressed out. So stressed out.

Speaker 3 I may or may not have one time been in Vegas. I may or may not have one time had edibles.
I bought edibles. I told you this story.
And I was like calling people for advice on what to do.

Speaker 3 And they were like,

Speaker 3 put it in your pocket. Yeah.
Yeah. They were like, whatever, dude.
No one cares. No.
And I cared. I was so stressed out.
A small amount. A tiny amount.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 I mean, we're talking like a package of them. I wasn't even, but he's like, put it in your, whatever.
And I was like, oh, okay.

Speaker 3 So, you know, I was reading this Reddit thing about this guy, Vance Randolph. And he's not really an influencer, but he claims to be.
He shows up, showing off all of his, you know, fancy cars.

Speaker 3 And now we know how he got all that money.

Speaker 3 But dude, you have to be a real fucking numb nuts to not even try and hide the fact that you got 50 pounds of marijuana in a bag that can only fit 50 pounds of stuff.

Speaker 3 Like you're not trying to put anything else in there with it? Like, how about just carry the 34 pounds of hashi show? First of all, second of all, you're going to Sao Paulo, Brazil.

Speaker 3 You don't think they have marijuana in Sao Paulo, Brazil? Of course they do. Now, because it's legal here in some places, do we have better weed? Maybe.
I don't know.

Speaker 3 Maybe the good stuff comes from California and this dude just loaded up on it. But that's a lot of trips to the weed.
To the dispensary. Yeah, you can't buy 34 pounds.
Not at once.

Speaker 3 I think it's like a pound or a day, I think. They monitor.
I mean, they take your ID. They do.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 They take pictures of your ID. Yeah, there's a whole bunch of people.
They know how much you're buying and they know when you're buying it.

Speaker 3 And there's probably a system just like prescription drugs where if you buy too much in a certain amount of time, they decline you service. They say, sorry, you've reached your limit.

Speaker 3 34 pounds of pasty marijuana a month, Mr. Green.

Speaker 3 I don't recall having seen hashish being available in those dispensaries. Never.
No, that's concentrated marijuana. That's highly concentrated marijuana.
I've smoked hash.

Speaker 3 That's a whole different animal right there. It is.
You better be ready to go to a different universe. Yeah, night night.
Opium, I used to like we there. There used to be

Speaker 3 there used to be a guy that I knew. This is like way back when I was a teenager, late teens.
There was a guy that I knew who had a connection for opium. Opium, yeah, I know.

Speaker 3 I remember seeing some friends, like not friends, but people that I remember was around. Yeah, it was around.
It was like making its way around for a couple of years there.

Speaker 3 You could just like get opiums relatively cheap. It was like $5 for a little ball of opium and we'd throw it on a bad, you know, bad, you know, cheap, shitty weed.

Speaker 3 We'd throw it on there and we'd go fucking night night. Well, one time my friend concocted hashish and opium together and we would, we put it in a bowl and we smoked it.

Speaker 3 I was gone for three days. I honestly was in a different fucking universe.
I didn't know what to think or do for a long time.

Speaker 3 I was crippled by this experience, crippled by it, because it was just too much. My body said, it didn't know which way to to go.
I mean, it knew which way to go. Down, shut down, Brian.

Speaker 3 Power down, Brian.

Speaker 3 But I'm in this Reddit post about this Vance Redolph, Randolph.

Speaker 3 And people are talking about carrying marijuana on planes domestically, like back and forth, you know, like weed gummies and stuff like that.

Speaker 3 And the universal answer, even from supposed people who worked at airport security, like TSA officers that are on this Reddit post, supposedly,

Speaker 3 we don't give a shit. Yeah.
We're not looking for that. Yeah.
It's not legal, but that's not what we're looking for.

Speaker 3 If you have a pound of cocaine and we find out, we're going to tell the local police and they make a decision about what to do. Our job is to find stuff that's dangerous to carry on the plane.

Speaker 3 Exactly. Bombs, weapons, whatever.
Weed gummies, or you know,

Speaker 3 your rattler with two extra Xanax in it. That's not something we care about.
It's just not. We're never going to care about that.
That's not our directive.

Speaker 3 And we're actually told it's none of our, that's not our business right there's a gun or a knife or electronics that looks suspicious that is the type of thing that we're going after you know they swab a and candles i was taking a candle on a trip one time and they took out my candle and it was uh it alerted something oh really it alerted something

Speaker 3 yeah you know i get you're sitting there waiting for your bag to go through the scanner and it came around the other side okay come over step over here crystal myth and that yeah

Speaker 3 It was my candle. I was going out.
They just checked for it. They didn't take it, though.
Well, that's good. But I could see why they wouldn't want something that could burn on the planet.

Speaker 3 Oh, they swabbed it. Yeah, I've gotten alerted.
I've gotten swabbed a number of times.

Speaker 3 I was going out of Ireland one time, and we check in, we check our bags, and then I get like this stamp on my ticket. And the girl writes something on it, like a 66217 or something like that.

Speaker 3 And she goes, you're going to be screened additionally. So please make extra time to get it.
I've heard about that, the number thing that they do for extra screening. And I said, oh, okay.

Speaker 3 Any reasoning behind that? And she goes, I can't explain anything additional. Just make sure you make extra time.
She was like really scary about it.

Speaker 3 And I was like, I looked at Astrid and I'm like, oh, shit. What? Did I pay my light bill? I mean, what's going on here?

Speaker 3 And I did get pulled over for a lot of additional screening. Like they were swabbing my feed and, you know, checking my ID and stuff like that.
But then I Googled it.

Speaker 3 And, you know, there's a lot of conjecture online. You know, that means you're on some list or your name is similar to somebody else's or they're looking.
It's supposed to be random, though, right?

Speaker 3 But there were a lot of like, yeah, there were a lot of like attorneys who deal with immigration law and travel law who just said it can be random or it can be for a purpose, but the number that they put on there is different for every country and it's not always congruent with the reasoning.

Speaker 3 In other words, you could get a 2267 and it could just be random or you get a 2267 and it means they're looking for you. It's a Yeah, it's a code.

Speaker 3 But if you're even allowed to get the ticket in the first place, it's likely you're not in too much trouble, right?

Speaker 3 I mean, if they give you the ticket, you know, they're not gonna, they're not playing hide and go seek with you, right? Let's see if he shows up and then they'll arrest.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so I felt better about that. But it did take me an extra like 10 minutes, 15 minutes to get through, and I never figured out why.
I never really understood. I don't usually have

Speaker 3 Jamaican weed. It's my Jamaican weed, or it's all the posts I'm making about Venezuela.
One of the two.

Speaker 3 One thing's for sure: never going to Venezuela, at least not in this and current administration. So, all right, let's take a break.
We'll be back.

Speaker 5 Okay, you're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at TCB. It's pretty simple.
Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute.

Speaker 5 Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command. Do you want to help Astrid too?

Speaker 3 You know you do.

Speaker 5 Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-433-3 TCB. That's 212-433-3822.
You can be on the show too.

Speaker 5 Just call and say something. Anything.
Or text us and we'll text you right back. Promise.
Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker.

Speaker 5 It's your constitutional right to a sticker and we must abide. You get the point.

Speaker 5 Follow us on Instagram at thecommercial break and watch all the episodes on video at youtube.com slash thecommercial break. Best to you and Astrid, especially astrid

Speaker 7 don't let the holidays derail your fitness stay on track with hydro 20 minutes rowing on a hydro targets 86 of your muscles as olympians guide you from incredible locations worldwide running can't compete that's why 90 stick with hydro a year later gq named the hydro arc the best rower of 2025 and every hydro comes with free shipping a 30-day trial and warranty go to hydro.com code fit and save up to 600 bucks on your next hydro.

Speaker 7 Hydro.com code fit.

Speaker 4 Looking for the perfect gift this holiday season? Make it something they'll actually use and love. Primely Pure's limited edition bundles are ready to wrap, toxin-free, and intentionally crafted.

Speaker 4 From tallow body butters and natural deodorant to cozy, festive, seasonal scents, these products are made exclusively for the most wonderful time of year. Skip the stress of last-minute shopping.

Speaker 4 These small batch beyond sustainable skincare sets make gifting easy and intentional. Give more than a gift.
Give a ritual that nurtures skin, body, and mind beyond the season.

Speaker 4 Get a head start on the season with Primely Pure and bring warmth, wellness, and nostalgic joy into your home with non-toxic rituals everyone will love.

Speaker 3 It's wailed. What's that? I thought you said you sent them to her.
I did. Oh.
Yeah, I did. I just need to follow up

Speaker 3 i need to ask again but that's okay listen hey we're we're talking about rachel and and actually somebody has texted us now now they're on to it they're like how many days are going to be pork chopped because by my count the last 36.

Speaker 3 i was like hey listen axel's a spoiled dog he is the best yeah for sure um i wanted to talk a little bit about Love Island. Love Island is not a show that I have kept up with or watched.

Speaker 3 Me either, but my stepdaughter does. Okay, tell me what she said.
No, she's she loves it.

Speaker 3 She's addicted to it, but she just needs to watch it every night because you know somebody gets voted off or the crazy thing. It's like five nights a week, isn't it? I think so.
Yeah, I think so too.

Speaker 3 I don't really know. And we should be better about this because they have asked us if we'll accept people from Love Island.
You have to be like on call to take them like the next day.

Speaker 3 I told her this, and she said she would help me. She would help us if we did get somebody.
Okay, listen, she wants to give us the rundown and come on and ask the questions. I don't know.

Speaker 3 But this year, it seems like it's reached a fevered pitch online and offline. And I think from my understanding, from my reading of the situation, there's a couple of different reasons.

Speaker 3 Apparently, there were three girls, one of them, uh,

Speaker 3 Soraya papaya or Anaya Papaya or something. They call her something papaya, I guess, right? And a banana.
I'm not sure.

Speaker 3 There's one of these girls who everybody really liked, and then she got into like kind of a click and started bullying some of the other girls or one of the other girls about a relationship or something.

Speaker 3 I know, and it turned very ugly, and it turned ugly online, and it turned ugly in the show.

Speaker 3 And it turned so ugly that the producers of the show felt it necessary during the second half of the season, which is over now, by the way, the second half of the season, they felt it necessary to put a disclaimer at the beginning of the show saying, Please don't bully.

Speaker 3 Please don't bully. We don't like bullying.
The cast doesn't like bullying. And you probably don't like bullying either.
So let's keep it out of the conversation.

Speaker 3 And so I started it. Oh, the print.
Someone's printing something in the middle of my show. Thank you.
It's Daniel. Thank you.
I bad.

Speaker 3 It is Daniel. It's for sure, Daniel.

Speaker 3 This happened last time. This happens every time he comes.
Yeah, he just starts printing stuff while we're.

Speaker 3 The printer is like right next to the studio equipment. So if you hear that, I'm sorry.
I apologize.

Speaker 3 They felt so strongly that this was getting out of control that they felt it necessary to address it, which is strange in and of itself. It tells you what a connection they have to the audience.

Speaker 3 But if you go and you start looking at some of the social media posts about Love Island, you can see that this has clearly gotten out of control.

Speaker 3 One of the reasons why I think this has gotten out of control, let me see if I can. I did a little research on this with Chat GPT earlier.

Speaker 3 You and Chatty, me and Chat. Good buddy.

Speaker 3 I rail against it on air. I use it all the time off air.

Speaker 3 So, Love Island season seven. Oh, okay, here.
Love Island's drama spills

Speaker 3 off-screen. Okay, and here, yeah, here's the other thing that I wanted to say: is that Call Her Daddy has now gotten involved.
Oh, really? Alex? Yes, Alex.

Speaker 3 She's going to have a dating show I saw that's coming out. Oh, she is? Call Her Daddy?

Speaker 3 Uh-huh. Wow.
Alex Cooper. She has really, and did you know that Call Her Daddy was a show with two hosts at first? I did not.

Speaker 3 And the second host was dropped from the show, left the show, dropped from the show or whatever. Now that girl has her own show, and she is spilling some tea regarding all of this.
I don't know.

Speaker 3 I'm not going to, listen,

Speaker 3 I like Alex. I think Alex has done a wonderful job.
A rising tide floats all boats. And

Speaker 3 by

Speaker 3 any stretch of the imagination, she has raised the level of consciousness about podcasting 10x.

Speaker 3 And just like Rogan did, just like Serial did, just like a lot of other pods, Smartless, like a lot of other podcasters that are doing great things in the space, expanding the reach and the audience that's available to us.

Speaker 3 Now, unfortunately, they don't actually come to us, but that's okay.

Speaker 3 We'll take it.

Speaker 3 Huda Mustafa was reportedly dropped from

Speaker 3 Call Her Daddies podcast in favor of Love Island

Speaker 3 season seven winners, Amaya Papaya and Brian, sparking fans' backlash online. Despite not winning, many believe Huda deserves the spotlight for her raw journey and impact on the season.

Speaker 3 Love Island season seven may have ended with love and confetti, but the post-villa drama is proving to be just as intense.

Speaker 3 While winners, Amaya Papaya, and Brian took home the $100,000 prize and fan favorite pairs like Nick and

Speaker 3 Alondrio left on a high high note, all eyes have now turned into what's happening off camera.

Speaker 3 The Islanders are slowly returning to their regular lives, doing interviews, hopping on podcasts and reflecting on their time inside the villa.

Speaker 3 But fans of Huda were shocked to learn she may have been swapped from last minute from Alex Cooper's Call Her Daddy podcast in favor of Amaya.

Speaker 3 Huda, according to a viral TikTok posted, Huda was originally scheduled for an exclusive interview with Call Her Daddy.

Speaker 3 The TikToker claims an insider revealed that Alex had locked in Huda for her first sit-down. But once the finale aired and the winners were crowned, plans changed.

Speaker 3 Allegedly, Alex Cooper made a switch trading Huda's exclusivity rights in favor of Amaya and Brian, likely seeing more potential in having the winning couple on the show.

Speaker 3 The same TikToker claimed that interview rights were passed to podcaster and former bachelor star Nick Vile, who will now host her first official post-show interview.

Speaker 3 The last-minute nature of the swap has sparked outrage from fans who feel Huda, despite not winning the deserved platform, despite not winning, deserve the platform more than Amaya. All right.

Speaker 3 Well, congrats to Nick Vial on the big get. Nick, of course, has made his own

Speaker 3 way in the world by really living in that reality show vibe. He gets all of the hot guests to come on his show.

Speaker 3 I know Nick. I know

Speaker 3 that's all I'll say. I know Nick.

Speaker 3 And I say congratulations to all his success too. Listen, this is just the nature of podcasting.
I don't think Alex did anything necessarily wrong, and I'm sure it wasn't 100%

Speaker 3 her call.

Speaker 3 Like,

Speaker 3 and what do I mean by that? What I mean by that is there's probably a whole PR machine with Alex, producers, talent bookers, agents and agencies that negotiate these kind of conversations.

Speaker 3 And the Love Island winner was probably negotiated long before the season started call her daddy probably had that

Speaker 3 that they would get the winner yes correct that i want the exclusive deal with who whoever wins and of course love island would be an idiot not to give it to her this was probably booked long in advance it probably had nothing to do with anything but people thought huda should win so everybody thought huda was going to go sit in that chair but when she didn't win and amaya papaya who people have kind of railed against this is the same girl who I said went from like 10,000 followers to a million and a half followers in a very short order.

Speaker 3 And people were questioning whether or not that could even be possible. I think it probably can, actually.
That show is very popular. Very popular.

Speaker 3 But Nick Viles knows slouch himself, and he'll do a good job with Huda. And this makes all the sense in the world.
It'd be like,

Speaker 3 let's take Conan O'Brien in the commercial break. Okay.
Just like, and, you know, I know we knock ourselves a lot here.

Speaker 3 We're very self-effacing because honestly, we don't believe in our own success and we have imposter syndrome to the X degree.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but let's say Conan O'Brien and call, and uh, the commercial break, we will get some of the same guests, but if it's a choice with an agent between Conan O'Brien and the commercial break, they're going to Conan O'Brien.

Speaker 3 Yes, conversely, right, is if you have a hit show and you're agreeing to send your people to a show, right? You're going to send the winner to Conan O'Brien.

Speaker 3 You're going to send the other folks to the commercial break. That's just the way that it is.
And it's probably pre-negotiated long before the winner is ever announced.

Speaker 3 So I say all this to say that Alex should get a little bit of a break here because the winner is the winner for a reason. They won the contest.

Speaker 3 It's time for them to get their spotlight too, regardless of whether you like them or not. Alex wants the winner on her show, and that's what she negotiated.

Speaker 3 If Huda was such a hot item, maybe Alex could have gotten her too, but Huda probably said, I want my own show. I want to do my own thing.
I don't want to play second fiddle to Amaya Papaya again.

Speaker 3 I lost to her, and now I want to go on second on Call Her Daddy. No, I'll go to Nick Vial's show, which is also extremely popular.
So I think this is just kind of the way the world works.

Speaker 3 I don't think there's anything nefarious going on here, even though you'd look in those social media comments and you would think that there's a grand conspiracy against Huda

Speaker 3 and for Amaya Papaya. Just don't think it works like that.
That's my own personal opinion. I'm just sharing like a little bit.

Speaker 3 I'm breaking down the fourth wall a little bit here on the commercial break. Because, you know, we also get these kind of like when they said, do you want to have Amaya Papaya and Brian on? I said,

Speaker 3 I just don't think it's right for the show. I don't think those millions

Speaker 3 are not a good fit. I don't think our, I don't think those millions of new listeners.
I don't think I want them. We're good.
Yeah, I don't want them. I don't want them anymore.

Speaker 3 Just like Trump saying, I don't want the Epstein people anymore. I don't want them.
I don't want them anymore. Did you read that one?

Speaker 3 I mean, this is getting wild. It really is.
Wild. It is.
There's a big

Speaker 3 hubbub. It reminds me of an old.
Well, there's minutes missing from the tape, and they were going to release it, and then they didn't.

Speaker 3 I'm waiting to see what happens in the end before I really. Me too.
And I have never, you know me.

Speaker 3 I'm like, not an anti-conspiracy theorist, but I tend to believe what I see and what I hear hear to be true,

Speaker 3 what I feel is true based on my own research and what's available. And I think Epstein was probably an apex predator of epic proportions.

Speaker 3 And I think there's a lot of people who probably played that game with him. I don't know if there's a list necessarily, but I bet there's lots of evidence of people who would have been on the list.

Speaker 3 And it seems really weird that this was the, like, this is the thing we run on. And now all of a sudden

Speaker 3 it was a Democratic.

Speaker 3 it was the dems it was a bomb russia russia russia it was obama russia russia russia listen it reminds me of the old ancient proverb

Speaker 3 about the snake

Speaker 3 about the boy who became friends with a snake every day they would they would play with the snake and the snake would play with him and they would have fun together little snakey and little bit little baby boy running around the the jungles and having fun little like a snake and a boy do sometimes

Speaker 3 And then one afternoon, the boy got a little too close to the snake and the snake bit him. And as the boy laid there dying, he said, what happened? Why did you bite me? I'm dying.

Speaker 3 I thought we were friends. And the snake said,

Speaker 3 I am a snake.

Speaker 3 It's in my nature. It's in my nature.

Speaker 3 So be careful what you wish for because this is what happens. That guy will turn on anybody.
And by the way, there's a lot of politicians like this, right, left, and center. Yeah.

Speaker 3 But there's just one with the loudest mouth. So anyway, I know that some people don't like it when we talk politics.
I just find it really fat, not even, not funny, not

Speaker 3 joyful about it because there is like an apex predator involved here. And I think the fact that he is the only one

Speaker 3 who ever is going to get in trouble for this and that Ghislaine Maxwell or whatever her name is, who will probably get out of jail, by the way, probably will not spend the 20 years that she got in prison because she will probably cut a deal deal or be pardoned.

Speaker 3 Mark my words on that one

Speaker 3 after people go to sleep on this.

Speaker 3 The reality is,

Speaker 3 Epstein hung out with a lot of people. Yeah, a lot of high-profile, rich people.
Prince Andrew, Bill Clinton,

Speaker 3 Alan Dershowitz, Donald Trump,

Speaker 3 lots of people in Hollywood. So

Speaker 3 Epstein was the only one that was hanging out with those young girls. He was the only one that was doing things with those young girls.
Fuck that. That's not believable.
It's not a believable story.

Speaker 3 And they're trying to sell it as if we're all a bunch of, you know, fucking sycophants for not buying the bullshit.

Speaker 3 All of the administrations who have helped to cover this up, by the way, not just the Trump administration. But we must point out that it's the Trump administration that put him in jail.

Speaker 3 It's the Trump administration where he died. quote unquote by unaliving himself.

Speaker 3 And it's the Trump administration who now has the files or whatever information is available and won't let it out of the bag.

Speaker 3 I'm not saying this is like we need to spend every waking moment of our governmental day paying attention to this, but there are a lot of people who would like to know, would like to see some people be held responsible for this.

Speaker 3 And now we're just going to all go away because it was the Democrats. The Democrats? Yeah, just forget about it.
Yeah, okay.

Speaker 3 Anyway, that's all I'm ever going to say about Jeffrey Epstein, but I just wanted you to know that I am aware. I'm not a dum-dum.

Speaker 3 And probably by the time this thing airs, there will be seven other developments in this.

Speaker 3 I know something happens every year.

Speaker 3 Yeah, if it sounds like I'm like a little bit behind the times, it's because we may or may not be on vacation and I may or may not be recording this a little bit ahead of the time.

Speaker 3 As we do.

Speaker 3 You heard it here last, folks. That's right.
We got to stick to that. Yeah.
Consistency is key. Yes.

Speaker 3 Anyway, all that said, if what is available is going to re-victimize people, then I think you do have to be careful.

Speaker 3 And I think you also have to be careful that you don't release some like innocuous list of people who ever did business, were on a plane, hung out with, and those people automatically become guilty by association.

Speaker 3 So I think there does need to be a daft touch. But now that now they're understanding, you can't just scream at the top of your lungs on a podcast that everything's a conspiracy.

Speaker 3 Then you get in charge and you realize, oh, maybe not everything's a conspiracy.

Speaker 3 Because I'm a snake, it's in my nature.

Speaker 3 All right. 212-433-3TCB.
212-433-3TCB. From cruises to snakes.
From cruises to

Speaker 3 snakes to the Epstein files. Love Island to Maya Papaya.
We're doing it all. Love Island.
Call her daddy. Your bio files.

Speaker 3 We know our shit here at the commercial break. Cocaine in your suitcase.
We know about all of it.

Speaker 3 i'm watching all of you i'm tracking your airplanes and your crews you are

Speaker 3 i am i was watching all the all-star planes coming into pdk it was fun oh yeah the nationals won

Speaker 3 it's great that's right

Speaker 3 i thought it was on saturday then all of a sudden it was on last night No, yeah, they just kind of ramped stuff up over the weekend. Yeah, yeah.
It was like the weekend.

Speaker 3 Anyway, that was last week. So

Speaker 3 again, right on top of it.

Speaker 3 Last week, as you're listening to this, at the commercial break on Instagram, help us get to 10,000 because I think if we're not there already, we could be there in just the next day or two.

Speaker 3 You can help us at the commercial break. Do it.
Youtube.com slash the commercial break for all the episodes on video. The same day they air here on the audio.
It's available to you.

Speaker 3 Go watch all of our guest episodes. You can check out our little plushies from Jenny.
One big more, one more big thank you to Jenny for taking the time to send us these lovely gifts. Absolutely.

Speaker 3 You too can send us lovely gifts. Text us.
I'll give you our PO box. TCBpodcast.com, the audio, the video, and your free sticker all available right there on the URL.

Speaker 3 Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for now. I think so.
I'll tell you that I love you. And I love you.
Best to you. Best to you.
And best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Speaker 3 Merch drop coming soon. Until next time, we will say, we do say, and we must say.
Goodbye.

Speaker 4 Ready to level up? Chumba Casino is your playbook to fun. It's free to play with no purchase necessary.

Speaker 4 Enjoy hundreds of online social games like Blackjack, Slots, and Solitaire anytime, anywhere, with fresh releases every week.

Speaker 4 Whether you are at home or on the go, let Chumba Casino bring the excitement to you. Plus, get free daily login bonuses and a free welcome bonus.

Speaker 4 Join now for your chance to redeem some serious prizes. Play Chumba Casino today.
No purchase necessary, VGW Group, Void War Prohibited by Law 21 Plus, TNCs Apply.

Speaker 8 Spectrum Business has a new offer that could be a game changer for small and medium-sized businesses. Are you ready for this?

Speaker 8 You could get free internet for life when you sign up for four mobile lines.

Speaker 8 Spectrum Business keeps businesses of all sizes connected seamlessly with fast, reliable business internet, advanced Wi-Fi, phone, TV, and mobile services.

Speaker 8 Manage reservations, process orders, entertain customers. Spectrum Business Solutions are designed with your business needs in mind.

Speaker 8 Power all aspects of your business with free internet forever from Spectrum Business. Visit spectrum.com spectrum.com/slash free for life to learn more.

Speaker 8 Restrictions apply, services not available in all areas.

Speaker 9 Hey, Ryan Reynolds here, wishing you a very happy half-off holiday because right now, Mint Mobile is offering you the gift of 50% off unlimited. To be clear, that's half price, not half the service.

Speaker 9 And Mint is still premium unlimited wireless for a great price.

Speaker 10 So that means a half day.

Speaker 6 Yeah?

Speaker 11 Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch.

Speaker 10 Upfront payment of $45 for a three-month plan, equivalent to $15 per month required. New customer offers for first three months only.
Speed slow after 35 gigabytes of networks busy.

Speaker 10 Taxes and fees extra.

Speaker 6 See Midmobile.com.

Speaker 9 Next up is a little song from CarMax about selling a car your way.

Speaker 6 So fast. Wanna take a sec to think about it.
Or like a moment. Wanna keep tabs on that instant offer.
with offer watch wanna have car max pick it up from the driveway

Speaker 8 so want to drive car max pickup not available everywhere restrictions and fee may apply

Speaker 11 do you know why tropicana pure premium orange juice is so delicious it has just one ingredient oranges picked at peak ripeness and squeezed within 24 hours No extras, no fuss, just pure, joyful sunshine.

Speaker 11 Perfect for slow mornings, running errands, or watching sports. Really, anytime you're craving a fresh squeeze flavor.
Tropicanna Pure Premium Orange Juice.