TCB Classic: The Meta Best Of Frankie B!

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Hey there, cats and kittens.

As was completely predictable, absolutely unavoidable, and probably much needed, there is no way in hell you're getting a new episode of the commercial break today.

There's 13 of them that we just did over the weekend, so go listen to one, if not all, of those if you haven't already.

To be frank, TCB's Endless Day kind of went off without a hitch.

That is very much unlike anything we have ever done outside of the box.

Well, let's be honest, inside the box too.

Usually the episodes of the commercial break don't go go all that well either.

But Chrissy and I just want to say thank you one more time to the hundreds of comments and text messages, phone calls, and well wishes from across the states and across the world, if you will.

Yes, that's right.

One guy in India texted in to tell me I was doing such a good job.

He read my resume and has a job for me where I make over $10,000 an hour.

And if I wasn't obligated contractually to do this show, it's likely I'd take him up on the offer.

When I asked the new encyclopedia of the commercial break, chat TCB, what is the most talked about and requested topic on the commercial break?

Coming in at number three was our good friend, Frankie B.

It's no surprise that during the endless day, we got a lot of text messages early in the day asking us if and when we would touch on Frankie B.

And we did toward the end.

And while there hasn't exactly been a waterfall of new content from Frankie B, we did get a few short videos from him over the last month.

However, there was a time in Frankie's history and in the commercial commercial break's history when there was a new video out almost daily.

As my grandfather said, that made for good groceries.

And Chrissy and I ate on those groceries and ate on those groceries and ate on those groceries.

So when I asked Chat TCB if I was to run a classic episode to give the listeners exactly what they want, it referred me to this episode, episode number 73, which is kind of meta because episode number three is a best of TCB.

Maybe one of our first.

And the best of is all about Frankie B.

It's essentially all the segments of Frankie B that we had done up until that point in one episode.

So at the expense of being meta meta, I am gonna run that episode almost unedited.

So everything you hear after this intro is from early 2021.

I will only adjust it in two ways.

I will cut out the old phone numbers so you don't call them.

And I will add in Rachel's liners where she tells you where to go currently so you're not texting some guy in Iowa named John who won't give me my phone number back.

Anyway, that's a joke you won't get unless you listen to TCB's Endless Day.

I'm gonna be screaming right in your face from the very start of this episode.

And excuse the audio quality, because in 2021, we are a long way from where we are today.

We will be back tomorrow with a brand new episode of the commercial break.

Until then, bye.

What is going on, everybody?

Whoa,

Whoa!

What's going on, everybody?

I've been taking steroids since I was 27 years old, and I just did two lines of cocaine, and I took some red mold right before I got out of here.

Woo!

Woo!

Ah!

Yes.

And welcome to another video.

If you're new here, welcome.

My name is Frank Bernardo.

That's two welcomes in one minute.

Just want to let you know that.

This channel is scared.

Frank Bernardo is who we're listening to.

I just, I want to make sure that we know who we're listening to.

I want to do a double welcome.

Yeah.

Welcome.

I'd like to welcome everybody.

We want to welcome you.

How welcome, how welcoming can we be?

Welcome.

Just say welcome.

For all guys out there, 50 and above, who want to up their game, look, and feel better about themselves.

So, gentlemen, at any time during a video, if you like what you see, if you find it informational, hell, if you even get a good laugh out of it, do me a favor, give it one of these and hit the subscribe button.

Not only do I want to subscribe, but I'm horny.

I'm just horny because of this guy talking.

I want you to know that Frank's channel, if you can find Frank Bernardo's channel on YouTube, he's got many, many videos.

He on, like his, I can't, you can't see it because you're listening to this on a podcast unless you're watching YouTube, and I can't play it because it's someone else's YouTube video.

I mean, I guess I could, but

he has a

channel and he focuses on entertainment, fitness, food,

women, grooming, fashion, styling, men with low low T.

Men with low T, and erectile dysfunction.

This guy, his opening montage has all, it just comes up and it says, Frank Bernardo, fashion, Frank Bernardo, grooming, fashion, fashion expert.

He's an all-round expert on everything over 50.

If you have a dick, here we go.

So you don't miss my upcoming videos.

So, guys, you found this video for a reason, all right?

Maybe you are suspecting your wife is cheating.

It doesn't happen.

Absolutely.

You see,

absolutely absolutely is your wife cheating on you absolutely you found this video for a reason

you found this video for a reason your wife asked for a divorce yes unfortunately we always get labeled as a cheaters but guess what our wives are actively cheating as well it's just like a huge assumption to make like

talking to me i think he's talking to everybody oh well let's not even bring henry into this conversation because then we got two fucknuts talking at the same time.

Oh, yeah, they're sexting other guys.

They're going on face.

They're having full-blown affairs.

Guys, cheating.

Wait, women are having full-blown affairs?

Is this true?

Not in my country.

This guy's out of his mind.

What is he talking about?

Women are sexting and having full-blown affairs.

Women do not even have phones.

This is crazy talk.

This is crazy business.

This guy is out of his gourd.

Keep going.

I'm having good laugh over here.

Okay, okay.

Eating is cheating.

And if you feel that something's not cheating is not cheating.

Let me tell you something.

Cheating is a way to a better marriage if you're a man.

And cheating is

not even a thing.

I don't think there's a word for it in my country.

If a woman's doing it, I think it's called jail.

It's called jail.

Not quite right.

Come on, guys.

Use your head.

You got instinct.

You're feeling in your gut.

Chances are she's cheating on you.

If you know the signs of a cheating wife, you can figure out what to do before the bad news hits you.

Wait, hold on.

Wait, figure out what to do before the bad news hits you.

If you find out your wife is cheating, you can find out what to do before you find out your wife is cheating.

You can literally roll back the hands of time.

I'm going to show you how to time travel right now.

Nothing like a paranoid husband.

This guy sounds like

a mix between Alex Jones and Dr.

Phil.

And he's saying it as if all women are cheating.

Women are out there sex messaging.

They're having full-blown affairs.

They're literally sucking dick on the street corner.

What's going on, Dave?

Your wife's vagina is getting pounded right now now in the gym and you don't even know it this guy sounds like he's been through many failed marriages by the way i'm just making an assumption frank i'm sorry if i'm wrong without further ado let's get into tip number one that you might have a cheating wife you disappeared from her social media there used to be pictures of you and her lovely duck

i would say that frank's probably right

if you if you are not on her social media anymore and you're now it's a new dude yeah

now it's the mother if If you've been replaced by another guy on social media, your wife's probably having an affair.

With that guy.

You probably also missed the divorce proceedings with the paperwork still in the mail.

I mean, come on, Frank.

What are you talking about?

Now listen to how Frank talks about social media.

This just cracks me up.

I mean, vacations, daily stuff, grandkids, children.

Grandkids?

Grandkids.

She's got grandkids with another wife?

With another man?

If your wife has grandkids you don't know about, she's probably cheating on you.

You don't say, Frank.

Tell you it isn't.

So

all of a sudden, you're gone.

Why is that?

You're being ghosts.

You're being ghosted.

By your wife.

You're being ghosted.

It's ghosted, Frank.

It's ghosted, not you're being ghosted.

What is this?

This is an episode of Casper?

I know.

If you have Nico on your homepage,

you're getting cheated on.

Your wife is having an affair with a ghost dog.

She's literally taking it up the ass from a dog that doesn't exist.

Why is that?

Well, she wants to appear single.

She wants to appear that she's not having a relationship.

That's always a monster sign is if you get ghosts.

If you get ghosts on social media, you're getting cheated on.

Social media, chances are she wants to appear single and something's up symptom number two that your wife might be cheating

one yeah we were just on one okay now we're going to

like five different things in there this video is only four minutes long by the way but the second i started watching it holy i was just like i was sitting here at midnight last night laughing out loud i'm sure my children woke up because i was laughing out loud at this guy these videos are they're all precious we're gonna have to check in with frank many times this is the beginning of a fruitful relationship with frank i love you frank call me 470-584-8449.

Leave a message.

Look at her cell phone, gentlemen.

Now, if she's always had the ringer volume up on loud, which I'm sure she had for years, especially if you have kids and you're out at a restaurant, you're out at a function, she's going to want to hear that phone ring.

And then all of a sudden,

hold on.

If your wife has ears, she's cheating on you.

Wait, I mean,

the assumption that you're what, like, that all women want their phone on loud all the time.

And then all of a sudden if she starts turning her ringer to silent in your restaurant?

In a restaurant.

I mean, as all of a sudden she's courteous, then she's cheating.

If you're watching Ave Maria at the local orchestra and she's turned her phone off,

she's fucked, man.

Call the divorce attorney.

Quick, take a picture and post it to Facebook.

That's right.

And post it to Facebook for the two of you because you've been ghost.

I dated this girl.

She never called me back.

I got ghost.

Ghosted.

Put an ED back there, you fucked one.

Okay, just let me continue because

he's funny in and of himself.

We probably don't even mean to make sure.

Notice that that phone has been on the silent mode for quite a while.

So she switched.

There's a reason why.

Because she doesn't want you asking questions.

I thought he was going to say

she doesn't want you asking questions.

If your wife doesn't want you.

If your wife doesn't like you, it's likely you're being cheated on.

Just the audacity.

I mean, this is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

He says, if your wife has her ringer on and then she turns it off.

That's like his personal story.

It is his personal story.

Of course it is.

Look how charged up this guy is.

I mean, again, he's been on steroids and cocaine since the 80s.

He's been ghosts.

Yeah, you should see this guy.

He is just like built like a rock house.

He's from, I bet $1,000 he's from Chicago with that accent.

Hi, guys.

Hi, guys.

He sounds like my mom.

He's like the male version of my mom.

so if that ringer is on the silent mode chances are she's hiding something and if you are at a function she's hiding the ringtone because she doesn't want to hear it you right idiot everyone turns on and off their ringer that's not a thing it's not a thing mine's off right now in the studio if i am yeah i'm cheating on you mine's probably off i can check that you're cheating on me

if i turn off my ringer if you're having an affair I'm not saying that I am, but if you're having an affair,

it's not about turning it on and off the the ringer.

It's really not.

It's really not.

You're missing the whole fucking point, Frank.

It's about not calling them, you know, not making evidence whatsoever, right?

You have a secret phone number like 470-5848-449.

Call me, Frank.

I want to talk to you live on air.

If you are at a restaurant and you see her fidgeting on that phone a little bit, all right?

She grabs it.

You don't hear it ring.

She feels the buzz.

She feels the hum.

She knows she's getting her call in there.

And then 10, 13 minutes, she's going to wait.

She's going to want to go to the bathroom.

She's going to want to contact that person.

Oh, let her take her phone.

Get a reaction out of that.

See if she gets jumpy.

See if she gets fidgety.

Tell her, just leave the phone right here.

Go to the restroom.

See if she gets jumpy.

See if she gets fidgety.

Kidnap her.

Hold her hostage there in the restaurant.

What a chauvinist.

What a fuck.

What a fuck.

Oh.

I cannot imagine the drama would be caused if I told Astra to leave her phone at the table when she went to the bathroom for no particular reason except for my fucking paranoia.

Yeah, I would be like, okay.

Yeah, that's crazy.

Weird.

Holdie, I want you to leave your phone right there.

And if you get fidgety about it,

I know you're cheating on me.

That's great dinner time conversation, by the way.

You should do that at Christmas.

He grabs it real quick.

Grabs it real quick.

Yeah, I know.

Can you imagine this?

This exactly happened to him.

This whole thing happened to him.

And only in hindsight did he realize that all of those things were signs that he was being cheated on.

After he's had five years and six 20-year-old girlfriends to think about it.

Yeah.

You'll watch it.

And if she does, that's your chance to go through her phone and see who's calling her.

That's your chance to break the law right there.

Number three, your wife might be cheating at you.

Number three.

All of a sudden, she's at the gym every day.

She only used to go maybe one or two days a week.

Frank, Frank, Frank, Frank, Frank.

Right.

It's all coming together now, Frank.

I'm starting to understand what exactly happened to you.

Your wife was fucking the pool boy right in front of you.

You were a trainer at the gym.

Exactly.

Right in front of you.

And you were too busy at Hair Club for Men that

you didn't realize what was going on until it was too late.

But that doesn't mean that every woman that goes to the gym is cheating on her husband.

That's a ridiculous connotation.

Oh, does connotation even make sense in that?

Yes.

40 minutes, okay?

In and out.

Now all of a sudden, she's up the game.

She's there five days a week.

Five days a week.

She did go to the gym.

She really didn't care what she looked like.

She had her frumpy clothes.

Wait, hold on.

Just pause this for one second because let me just say this.

Clarify.

So if she was just going one or two days a week, she didn't give a shit.

She didn't give a shit about how she looked like.

That's why she was going to the gym.

Right, right.

To get fatter.

You don't go at all.

At all.

You don't give a shit what you look like.

You're never going to.

By the way, going to the gym one or two days a week is a big fucking effort, right?

It is.

Yeah, to get out of the house and go to the gym.

First of all, and now he's saying.

And then maybe she got into it and likes it.

Yeah, maybe she's feeling good about herself.

Maybe she's a human being, friend.

maybe she wants some self-respect

maybe she wants to get out of the hole that you've dug her in the backyard to live maybe she's married to you yeah a true story frank no makeup hair pulled up didn't give a crap what she looked like now all of a sudden she's bought some new gym clothes she's got her makeup all dialed up her she has her own money she's using a credit card she knows how to go she knows how to pay a bill

this is crazy signs yeah i know Signs.

A woman is cheating on you.

She learned how to drive a car.

She learned how to speak.

Yeah.

She talks in sentences.

She can write a text message.

She uses the bathroom without permission.

She gets out of bed before you tell her it's okay.

She doesn't say yes when you tell her to put on her handcuffs.

She speaks in public without

approval.

Yeah.

Hair is pretty.

She's taking more time and getting ready to go to the gym.

All right.

There's a reason why.

She's trying to impress someone.

But don't get too hung up on that.

She could.

Don't get too hung up on that part.

What you just said was the worst, was like the worst part.

But don't get hung up on that part.

Has he got a fourth one?

He's got a seventh one.

Oh, okay.

We're only halfway through.

I'm sorry.

But it's just

funny.

It's so funny.

I feel bad for people that have believed it, though.

Baby.

There have got to say baby like you're my wife.

I'm sorry about that.

That was so fucking rude.

You're cheating on Mastery.

Yeah.

And you're cheating on Joe.

We've been busted.

We've been having an affair.

This whole time.

In front of everybody.

This whole time they thought we were doing a podcast.

Her routine in the gym because she wants to impress somebody outside that gym.

Therefore, she's not going to care what she looks like at the gym.

She's still up in her routine.

Why?

Because she's trying to impress somebody else.

That's what women do.

All of a sudden, they find a guy, might be a younger guy, oh my god, I'm a little bit overweight.

They're going to get in there and they're going to pound it.

They're going to pound it.

They're going to pound it.

It might be a younger guy.

I mean, this is this guy's life story, literally.

This is literally, this guy is telling you what went happening.

What happened?

This is the

wife started cheating on someone with,

started cheating on him with someone from the gym that was younger and

that would get up and he would she would go to the bathroom and talk to him.

You are spot on.

This guy is so emotionally immature that the only way that he can deal with the emotions of what happened to him, which is unfortunate, Frank, if your wife really did,

yeah, sorry about that.

Sad times, but now you're just so angry and bitter about it that the only thing you can do is go on YouTube and make public videos that showcase you and hot young women.

Welcome.

Yeah, welcome.

Hi.

I was waiting for for him to break through a wall like the fruit punch guy.

A Kool-Aid.

A Kool-Aid.

You're going to want to look their very best.

Pay attention to that sign, gentlemen.

Ship number 40.

If your wife is pretty, that's a bad sign.

That's a bad sign.

That's terrible.

And when you say pay attention, gentlemen, it sounds like, Frank, there's nothing you haven't paid attention to.

I mean, being with you must be like 24-hour a day school monitoring or something.

Yeah.

If she takes off her ankle monitor without giving without giving you notice you're in trouble yeah wife might be cheating on you so all of a sudden she's not telling you what's going on in her life there's a disconnection you know a woman who is cheating subconsciously they disconnect from you they're worried about the other person you're the last thing on their mind so if you feel that disconnection chances are gentlemen her mind's on someone else tip number five if you feel a disconnection from your wife you have bigger problems i would feel a disconnection from frank if I was married to him.

Staying on.

I feel a disconnection from Frank, and

I'm just a guy listening on his YouTube channel.

I don't feel disconnected from him.

But I want you to hear...

So

I've left this whole thing intact, basically.

So I want you to listen because there's a reason.

He just said, if a woman stops paying attention to you, then you're in real trouble.

But listen to a, we'll listen to a future point and see how, why Frank is contradicting himself all through this video.

That your wife is cheating on you.

All of a sudden, she's dressing a lot nicer.

I don't care if it's for work, again, the gym, or going out with friends.

Before it used to be very casual.

Again, the gym.

Yeah, again, the gym.

Again, the gym.

So we know that his wife

met her

mistress.

Mr.

Mistress.

Or mistress.

Could have been a mistress.

You never know.

Frank is really...

He's so horrible.

Listen, Frank, maybe the woman just has some self-respect.

Like, maybe she just wants to dress up nice.

Did you ever think about that?

No, Frank didn't think about that.

Because Frank has an emotional block right in his head.

It's like a two-ton barbell

sticking through Frank's spinal cord.

He's Abdullah, mum blamlada.

Flats, casual outfit, conservative top,

nothing crazy.

All of a sudden, guys, all of a sudden, her tits are hanging out.

She's got nipple rings.

Summer.

She's wearing badge chats.

She's not wearing her overall prison uniform.

She's got a thong bikini that she wears to pick up the kids from school.

Yep, that's the best.

The poker just went up.

That's the sign.

We got some heels, some hot slacks, maybe a nice shirt.

Hot slacks.

A little cleavage.

Well, guess what, guys?

Is that for you?

Hell no.

She's trying to impress someone else.

Tip number six, that your wife might be cheating on you.

All of a sudden, she's misgenerous.

You're getting some home cooked dinners.

You're getting random gifts.

You're getting blowjobs at the dinner table.

The mashed potatoes.

You're getting mashed potatoes left and right.

You're getting a pinky in the asshole.

That makes no sense.

That makes no sense, Frank.

You just said that if she stops paying attention to you, if you feel disconnected,

that's a sign.

But now the sign is

if she's paying attention to you, home-cooked dinner.

She's a real story straight.

Ding, ding, dinner.

That's right.

You know, right before Frank's ex-one of Frank's ex-wives delivered him.

I feel like this probably happened multiple times to Frank, actually.

I feel like Frank is like a a six-wife kind of guy, and they get younger each time he gets married.

Similar to Larry King King King King King King.

Yeah, right.

Similar to Larry King had nine wives.

That's crazy.

Nine lives and nine wives.

I feel like right before she handed him the divorce papers, she gave him a blowjob with a pinky in the ass, and he was like, Wow, I've never had that before.

That's great.

By the way, why are you going to the gym so much?

I noticed your phone was on sign.

You got those hot slacks on.

Yeah.

I've been seeing you wear those hot slacks.

You can see Frank's head just like struggling to figure out what's going on.

You know, you were cheating on me?

Really?

All those silent messages, all that time at the gym,

all the nipple-showing outfits you wore, all those times you went out with your friends and you've never killed me.

Oh, my God, Frank.

You're getting special treatment.

And you haven't even argued.

Well, why is that?

And you haven't even argued.

Oh, my God.

This guy.

Living with this guy must be like just a roller coaster.

Did I just ask you, where did he, does he profess to have any kind of degree or experience?

Oh, no, no.

No, not that I saw.

Just the experience of being.

I'm only a couple of episodes.

Episodes?

There's episodes.

I'm only a couple of episodes into Frank.

Like, Frank has 75 videos.

Oh, my God.

And so there's so much more to dig in here.

And so I have a feeling that in season two, we're at least three Frank episodes.

Yeah, we got to.

Like, I'm putting it on the calendar.

We got to be three Frank episodes, whether that be a Patreon episode, a regular episode, whatever.

This is just classic.

Classic Frank.

This is like classic douchebaggery.

This is the definition of a fucking lug nut.

Why does he have so many videos and why does he think he's

because he's talking about fashion and dining and you know grooming?

He literally talks about grooming.

Like he cuts his own hair.

I mean, this is.

Oh, wow.

Okay, let's continue with this and we'll get to more Frank videos at a different time.

Gentlemen, she's guilty.

She feels guilty and she psychologically needs to make this up to you.

So this makes makes them feel better by doing things for you.

Tell Tim.

I have a feeling, Frank, that whoever cheated on you

had no, they had no urge to feel better about themselves.

They were probably like, you're getting what you deserve, you chauvinistic fuck twi.

I mean, he's on the YouTube doing videos all day.

Well, he's doing that to get back at it.

The women have cheated on him to show them that he's doing fine.

Hi, I'm Frank.

Welcome, welcome.

I feel great about myself.

Welcome, welcome.

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If she's all of a sudden doing all this stuff for you, pay attention because that's a backdoor cheating sign.

Tip number seven is your wife is cheating on you.

And guys, this is obvious as hell, but we're going to talk talk about it anyway.

If she's upped her going out game, whether it's with friends or at work, all right, that's a huge.

If your wife gets friends, you're if you're in trouble.

She's going to work every day.

Boom.

I have a hard time believing that Frank ever let his wife out of the house for work.

Yeah.

Sure, you can have a job, honey.

Polish my balls,

polish my balls.

You make this rather snappy, won't you?

Somebody can be thinking to do it before 10 o'clock.

Hi, cats and kittens.

Rachel here.

Do you ever get the urge to speak endlessly into the void?

Like Brian?

Well, I've got just the place for you to do that.

212-433-3TCB.

That's 212-433-3822.

Feel free to call and yell all you want.

Tell Brian I need a race.

Compliment Chrissy's innate ability to put up with all his shenanigans.

Or tell us a little story.

The juicier, the better, by the way.

We'd love to hear your voice because Lord knows we're done listening to ourselves.

Also, give us a follow on your favorite socials at the Commercial Break on Insta, TCB Podcast on TikTok.

And for those of you who like to watch, oh, that came out wrong.

We put all the episodes out on video: youtube.com/slash thecommercial break and tcbpodcast.com for all the info on the show.

Your free sticker, or just to see how pretty we look.

Okay, I gotta go now.

I've got a date with my dog.

No, seriously, Axel needs food.

Today is pork chop day.

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TNCs apply.

Hello, it's Lena Dunham.

I host a podcast called The Sea Word with my dearest friend and historian of bad behavior, Alyssa Bennett.

What is up?

It's a chat show about women whose society is called crazy.

We're going to be rediscovering the stories of women society dismissed by calling them mad, sad, or just plain bad.

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Red flag.

That is the number one, single, biggest red flag is more going out time.

They can come up with excuses that they have work-related duties to do after work.

But if she's never done them and all of a sudden she's required to be there, I would definitely check.

She got a promotion.

All of a sudden,

her friends want to see her more.

All of a sudden, she's making her own money.

You're fucked.

Yeah.

She's got friends from the gym.

She's got friends

from the gym and from life and school friends.

If you allow her to have friends, you're screwed.

Bury her back in her hole in the backyard.

Make sure the ankle monitor has extra batteries.

Charge that ankle monitor while she's in bed.

Double check the GPS, make sure it's working.

Backup generator on the ankle monitor.

Tie a backup generator to the ankle monitor.

Get ghost.

You could get ghost.

Get ghost.

It's like get lost, but get ghost.

That's our new term.

We're going to say get lost, and somebody will be like, get ghost.

That means take me off your Facebook page forever.

If you're married and your wife takes you off her Facebook page and blocks you,

you're probably getting cheated.

Your wife blocks you on Facebook.

She doesn't want to wear the handcuffs out to the grocery store.

Goes to the gym and has friends.

Yeah.

You're a shit crazy.

Fucked.

Man.

Just deciding to go out.

It doesn't happen, guys.

That'd be just like you doing that.

You know, we can't do that as men because women are going to pick up on that.

You know, one, two, three.

But they think we're stupid, okay?

Use the same psychology they use on us back at them.

And if you do suspect.

What in the good fuck is he talking about?

I don't know.

I just tried to

block it out.

No, I tried to follow him, but I couldn't.

So why?

Come here, honey.

Give me a kiss.

She wanted to give me a kiss.

She wanted to smell if I had alcohol in my breath or if I had any type of perf pussy on my breath.

All right?

If I had crack hole or on my breath.

By the way, if his wife is asking him if he has alcohol in his breath or wanting to smell his breath,

he's had a problem before.

He's had this problem.

He's something he's done.

He's been sober five years.

Five years after my fifth divorce.

I learned my lesson after my 12th DUI.

Yeah, that's not the first thing you go to.

No, no, it's not.

There hasn't been an issue in the past.

Yeah, and listen, if you need to come home without alcohol in your breath because that's a demand of your wife, you got bigger problems than whether or not she's cheating on you.

You got to go to rehab, dude.

It just makes no sense.

This is not adding up, Frank.

You're telling your life story.

She's made a home-cooked dinner for you.

she's giving you a blowjob.

She needs to smell your breath.

She needs to smell your breath first.

Frank, you're telling your story in a top 10 list, and it's so transparent.

So transparent, man.

You do the same thing to them.

See if they get nervous.

See if they're giving you resistance, okay?

Check out their see if they're giving you resistance.

This is 2021.

Where are we living?

In Iran?

See if they give you resistance.

See if they give you resistance.

Hit them over the head with a hammer.

God.

Whoa.

Clean up the evidence.

Call the state police.

Tell them it was an accident.

Your demeanor.

You're going to pick up on that right away.

That's going to conclude today's video.

Oh, thank God.

I've been waiting.

I don't know how much more I can take, Frank.

Oh, my God, dude.

That's the creepiest, creepiest, creepiest thing.

I mean, listen.

It's great entertainment.

You got to.

Here it is.

Frank Bernardo, for those of you that don't know, is an expert in all things over 50.

He's an all things over 50 kind of guy.

He's going to tell you about grooming, style, the gym, women,

love, low-T, high-T, under-T,

estrogen.

Frank has lived a life, and Frank wants to share those experiences with everybody, with all 1,200 of his subscribers.

And so he puts out these videos on a regular basis.

And I just find them to be the funniest fucking thing I've ever seen.

Not because I don't believe that men over 50 should live a life.

I mean, I'm right around the corner, right?

Before I know it, I believe that.

He's the man to tell them how to do it.

He's the man to tell them how to do it and with horrible advice to boost.

You ready?

Let's get into this video.

We're going to talk about dating in your 50s.

Ready?

Here we go.

Gentlemen, in today's video, we're going to talk about dating over the age of 50.

Let me ask you a question.

How many of you guys out there between the ages of 50 and 60 are hitting the dating scene again?

I know.

At this time of our life.

I know.

At this time of our lives.

Yeah, it's crazy.

It's as if we're dead.

Hey, man, don't don't feel bad.

There's millions and millions of men our age out there that are hitting the dating scene.

Frank has done the research himself, and he knows that there's millions and millions of men over 50 that are hitting the dating scene right now as we speak.

Nothing to be ashamed of.

But let me ask you a question.

Are you prepared to date?

Do you remember how to date?

Does your dick still work?

Do you remember how to date?

I mean, I get it.

I get the premise of the question.

Yeah, yeah.

But are you prepared?

Like what?

You got to get a kit together or something?

Pack a back?

Make sure you get a lunchbox.

Get a lunchbox.

Get a backpack.

Get ready for dating.

Get a prescription.

Back to dating time.

Back to dating.

Here we go.

Do you remember how to look?

Do you remember how to

look?

I mean, unless you're blind, I'm sure you remember how to look, right?

Is that how it works?

Dress.

How's your grooming?

How do you smell?

I mean, it's a whole thing that he's checklist.

You smell like a

horse's throat.

Don't do that.

You've been taking care of your body.

Are you in shape?

Are you ready to make a great first impression?

Are you ready to make great first love?

I'm here to show you how.

Do you remember the mating ritual?

Real quick, get in shape.

Get in shape.

Shave your body.

Yeah, that's right.

Get your Viagra.

Get your nose hairs.

Get a lunchbox together.

Sounds like Frank is going to climb Mount Everest, not go on a date.

Well, guys, if you're.

By the way, if the intended purpose is to make people relax about going back out into the dating scene, Frank, you're doing the exact opposite.

You're making people scared of going in the dating scene.

I don't remember how to look.

I don't remember how to look.

I'm not in shape.

I haven't put deodorant on since 1983.

I haven't groomed.

I don't even know what a boner is.

I've been living in a cave.

Yeah, what do women look like?

A vagina?

What's that?

You mean they're flower?

Women are showing things above their ankles.

Well,

that's amazing.

You're not doing all the above.

Then you're already behind the eight ball.

Remember.

Sounds like Frank knows what an eight ball is, and I'm just

being honest about it.

Women you're seeking at this age, it's not their first rodeo.

Their expectations, they're through the ceiling.

They're all looking for their dream man, the last man, the man to finish out their life with.

What are you talking about, Frank?

They're ready to die.

They would die the man.

They're looking for someone to come to their funeral.

They're looking to go casket shopping with you.

They're looking for you to pay for the retirement village.

The fuck, Frank?

Come on.

Give somebody some hope, man.

Here's another big pitfall that you're going to run into.

If you do get on the dating scene, what are you looking for?

Probably a woman.

That's a man.

That's my guess.

Yeah.

Or a man.

Why not?

That's a fact.

You're looking for a younger woman, right?

Okay, here we go.

Now, Frank automatically starts going off the charts.

Now, I want to preface this by saying, I've seen this video a couple of times.

Frank is going to start talking about a younger woman in the...

By saying that

if you're 60 and you're looking for a woman in their 50s, but we all know what Frank means.

Frank means if you're 50 and you're looking for a 22-year-old.

Yeah.

Right.

Because if you watch his videos, that's all he hangs around.

He's like, you know, girls in their 20s and 30s.

So Frank is trying not to be creepy, but trust me, there's a creep factor here.

Come on, we're human in this video.

Come on, we're human.

He says human?

Yeah, human.

He also said a shame of.

There's no ED on the end.

It's like, ashame of.

Don't be ashamed of.

So Frank goes, Come on, you know, we're all looking for younger women.

Come on, we're human.

Come on, we're pedophiles.

I mean, what the fuck, Frank?

I get it.

I understand, right?

We're all looking for, we're all looking for the younger model, right?

When we're single,

but it just starts to sound a little creepy when you put it like that.

Come on, we're human or umin.

It's like that guy from the Oatley commercial.

It's like Malc,

but for um,

I'm gonna show you just how hard it is to get the younger woman in this video.

I'm gonna set your expectations to where they should be in this video.

There's a couple things about a YouTube video that you should know, these type of YouTube videos where you're giving information like this.

You have to set up, first of all, you should make your intro much shorter than this.

I mean, he's been already talking for two minutes, and we haven't even started the video yet.

Second of all, you set expectations about what you're going to deliver during the video, right?

Like, we set expectations that we're going to deliver nothing.

So, everybody is clear that if nothing comes out of it, but Frank is now setting the expectation.

He's going to show you, you know, how to date, how to groom, how to do all this.

I promise you, in the next six minutes of this video, Frank is going to show you none of that.

He's just going to start talking and go down a rabbit hole.

So just get prepared.

I'm going to teach you how you get dates and how you won't be disappointed chasing the younger girls.

Don't miss it.

Okay, now here's Frank's theme song, which is like

if you could just see the beginning of it.

I mean, I'm going to put it right up here in a little box right here.

So, if you're seeing this little box right here, go to YouTube.

What's that?

Is it metal?

It's metal, but it's more like Foo Fighters type bullshit, right?

But it's not Foo Fighters, I can guarantee.

I don't know

if you want a date when you're fifty years old, yeah, Frank's gonna show you how.

If you want to dance right in your face, yeah, Frank's gonna show you how.

No erection, no problem, Frank's gonna show you how.

I mean, this is something straight out of 2001, right?

This is like

lip biscuit type bullshit.

What are you waiting for?

Get out there and live your life.

Yeah, get to the bars.

Hit on younger, attractive waitresses.

It'll never fail.

You'll never fail if you're not.

I'm never going to tell you.

That's right.

I can't tell you because I have the inability to.

You're going to have to buy my kit.

I practiced this video seven times in front of the mirror.

Still don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.

Just angry my wife left me for the pool boy.

Oh my god, such bad music.

So bad.

What's going on, everybody?

Wow!

I got scared last night when I was listening on the headphones.

I was like, whoa!

Don't yell at me, Frank, because he's like, he's got this little opening, and then he comes right at you and his face is like, fat enough, everybody.

Welcome to the video.

If this is your first time here, my name is Frank Bernardo.

This channel is gear.

Okay, Frank, you already said welcome to the video a couple times earlier.

And I know that, you know,

you're just trying to put it all together.

And I've done the same thing.

I'm guilty of it, right?

Saying welcome and hello a couple different times.

But you don't need to welcome people to the video when they're three and a half minutes in frank don't do that everybody got distracted yeah call me frank i'll well consult with you i'd love to have you on the show actually if you somehow have seen this video i'd love to have you on the show at the commercial break on instagram hit me up under you all guys out there 50 and above who want to up their game look and feel better about who want to up their cock

about themselves in grooming fitness fashion and lifestyle grooming fitness fashion and lifestyle yeah guys before we get into this video you know the drill oh my god frank we're already like we're six and a a half minutes in.

Can we already get to the video?

He's made us a promise we're getting to the drill.

We don't know the drill.

We don't know the drill because Frank just keeps on saying we're getting to the drill.

Like we let's get started.

Let's get started.

Let's get started.

You know the drill.

Yeah, you know the drill.

No, I don't know the drill.

I don't know.

You haven't told me.

Come on, get to it.

If you found this information useful, give it a thumbs up, subscribe so you don't miss more videos in my series of dating over 50.

So, gentlemen, I just wanted to put together a quick hit video for you.

Just so I can save you lots.

Frank, if you

a quick hit video that's already six and a half minutes in

you've welcomed us four times you've promised us what you're gonna tell us you've told us what the story is you've told us to subscribe to your channel now let's get to the content come on Frank what do I want I'm so interested how do men under 50 over 50 get that 20 year old woman they're looking for time a lot of aggravation a lot of embarrassment and to save you a lot of humiliation because these are all i'm gonna save you humiliation by doing it for you i'm gonna be humiliated for you.

All the things that you're going to incur, you know, when you're looking for a younger woman.

So let's set some parameters right here.

When I say younger woman, let's go realistically here.

10 years younger, that a good number?

Frank, we know what number you're really talking about.

It's 30 years younger.

Yeah.

No man in his 50s or 60s who's like Frank is sitting there going.

Who's subscribed to this channel?

Who's subscribed to this channel?

That's right.

Good one, Chris.

High five.

All right.

I like that.

Yeah.

Catch us on on youtube catch out that high five on youtube um

welcome to the video welcome to the video

welcome to the car it's like a dr phil show it just keeps going to break never get to the point you're right people who have subscribed to this video i can guarantee you when you say younger woman what is in their head is not somebody in their 50s it is somebody in their 20s or maybe 30s maybe 30s

Let's say you're a man 60, so you're looking for a 50-year-old.

Come on, Frank.

Don't ball shit us.

First and foremost, if you can get a girl 10 years younger, God bless you, you're doing quite well.

If you can get a girl five years younger, you're doing quite well.

All right, so you're going.

If you can get a girl 40 years younger, you're doing awesome.

There's a gold star.

Yeah.

You're my hero.

After that younger woman, how hard is it?

How small?

I don't know.

How hard is it?

Why do you have to go younger?

That's what she said.

What's that?

Why do you have to go younger?

Why do you have to go younger?

Why can't you go older?

Well, he explains later on in the video why you can't go older

can you get her you can

but it's hard and this is why it's hard let's reverse this you're on the dating site and let's just say a woman 10 years older than you clicks on your dating site and she says you know what i find you interesting i find you sexy How do you feel?

What?

She says, I find you interesting.

I wish that opening line would come my way when I was in dating.

I find you interesting and sexy.

About that, how do you feel about a woman 10 years older than you looking at you, coming after you?

Fuck that.

She's close to the grave.

I don't want to have anything to do with her.

I'm not going casket shopping with that old witch.

You're subscribed to this video, and you can get any woman.

We're talking any age.

You're doing what if you get something with a vagina, I consider that a plus section.

Yeah.

But hey, or a penis.

Who knows?

Who knows what?

Oh, yeah.

Listen,

I think this advice pretty much,

this kind of advice, this kind of clarity from a man with such wisdom transcends sexual preference.

It doesn't matter.

Transgender,

gay, straight, whatever it is, Frank's advice is stuff you can take to the bank.

You can't.

Consider it gold.

Ew, you get it?

What's your thought process?

Are you going to respond to her?

Are you going to say, fuck no?

Fuck no, you old hag.

If some woman texted me and said, I find you interesting and sexy, and I went, fuck no.

What if I could just see Frank at the bar, like at the bar, and he's got, you know, these 20-year-old waitresses just basically taking his money right out of his hand, you know,

tipping them $100 at a time?

Because that's who Frank is, and that's how I get younger women.

Right.

And then some old lady comes up and goes, wow, Frank, I've been watching you.

I find you sexy and interesting.

Fuck no.

Get out of here.

Get out of here.

You old hag.

Who do you think I am?

I'm Frank Fernardo.

Have you seen my YouTube channel?

I have 600 subscribers and 400 videos.

All highly produced.

I spent 10 grand a piece on those videos to get a camera crew and everyone.

I had the cover band from the Foo Fighters.

Yeah, and the cover band.

Yeah, that's right.

And the Foo Fighters lookalike band.

I wonder how we licensed that music.

Like, you know,

YouTube's very strict about that stuff.

I wonder what song that actually is.

I'll look into that.

It could have been created

for Frank.

Yeah.

Yeah, I guess it could.

Like an out-of-work band from the 2000s.

and frank's like can you guys get back together and do that one hit that was awesome

i want that to be my theme song because frank was 30 back then she's too old i don't want anything to do with that i don't want anything to do with that dried up vagina

what do you got going on in there cobwebs gross

i want to get with his hot tail right here That's probably the response you're going to do, right?

A 70-year-old coming after you and you're 60?

I don't want anything to do with that.

Geez, okay, Frank, we get the point.

God damn.

Make everyone feel warm and fuzzy.

I mean, please, Frank, you're not dead.

You're 70s.

Like,

fucking Christ.

What dating advice do you give to those who are 70s?

You're dead.

Don't bother.

Oh, my God.

I think that probably half of the 1,200 subscribers are doing exactly what we're doing.

Yeah, I would imagine that there's many other podcasts

that have Frank on the radar.

It's just too good.

It's too good.

He's setting up jokes every five seconds, and you just can't help.

And you get that.

What do you think that woman, 50-year-old, is thinking when you click on her dating site that you like or that you find her interesting?

What do you think she's saying?

She's probably

really analyzing Frank.

I mean, Frank.

What she's thinking is, oh my God, a man my age is actually not looking at 20-year-olds.

He wants to have yes yeah a meaningful relationship possibly but here's something that i would suggest to frank even before we get to the profile clicking on and that's how do you set up a profile i mean if you're of a certain age yeah how i mean that would have been helpful to have maybe a little tutorial on that you know what i think you and i should do a show where we combat some of frank's bullshit yes right we should do a seven signs of a healthy relationship that you're not being cheated on.

And then, you know, how to date in your, you know, whatever, 30s 30s or 40.

Listen, here's the point: Frank is like, Frank has made us a bunch of promises at the beginning of this video.

We're already through it anyway.

We're already seven minutes, six or seven minutes into this, and he has yet to talk about any of them.

All he's doing is giving his opinion about what would happen if a 70-year-old decided to click on his profile.

Not your profile, his profile.

Because one thing Frank is very transparent: if Frank is saying it, it means he feels it, right?

Not that the whole world feels it, but that he feels it.

Okay, you think she's calling up her girlfriends?

Oh, Oh, Allison, guess what?

A six-year-old after me.

Do you think a 20-year-old is doing that?

Guess what?

I got this old hag sending me $100 of pop every time he comes to the bar.

You know that guy with the greasy hair?

And he's wearing...

Says he knows Foo Fighter 2.

He's wearing the Tommy John jeans.

He's got that band that follows him around playing music all the time.

Frank just has a band behind him, like the mariachi band, but like the old Foo Fighters, like the cover band.

I'm on a Getty Couple Visit.

Yeah!

Hey guys, can you play my theme song real quick?

There's a hot girl over there.

I'm going to walk into the room with my tight jeans and my muscle shirt,

my hair slick back.

I'm wearing Dracar Noor.

Oh, remember Drakar?

I do.

What a scourge on the earth.

Yeah.

I don't even think it exists anymore.

It must.

There must be somebody with an old bottle of Jakar.

If you've got a bottle of Jakar, can you please send it to me?

I'd like to remember how it smells because I remember that my friend got his, like, I was 12 or 13 years old, and my friend Philip got a bottle of Jakar from his parents.

But I didn't wear cologne because my parents didn't give us cologne, right?

And that's that we couldn't, it's just that we didn't.

Yeah.

And like, we sprayed that shit on it.

I remember young guys doing that around the age of that's right.

we thought that it was like a light for insects like it was a magnet and really what what it really was was a force field against getting laid exactly it's like whoa

that is really strong

you stay over there and i'll talk yeah that smells like donkey picks what is that

did you rub bear shit on yourself because i don't know it smells a little weird that's jakarner

I never even know how to say it.

Jacarnuer.

I can't believe it.

It's my lucky day.

I got a a 60-year-old jumping for joy.

She's calling family members.

Do you really think that that's happening?

Do you really think that she's getting excited?

No.

But if you are a good-looking man,

why are you throwing in the family members?

She's calling family members.

Frank's just like over-exaggerating to make a point here.

But the truth is, it doesn't matter what age you are and what age you're going after.

If you're excited about someone, you're excited about it.

Exactly.

Doesn't matter how old they are.

Interesting, sexy.

Sounds like a good starting point.

Doesn't matter.

Yeah, absolutely.

I agree with you 100%.

That takes care of himself, you might get a response.

But how many guys our age look the part, are in shape?

You better be spot on to even.

Oh, gross.

This is all gross.

It's all so gross.

You better be spot on.

You better have a rock-hard penis the second you walk in the door.

Muscle shirt, totally.

That's right.

Absolutely, Odley.

You do your testosterone regimen, get you, yeah, double up on your testosterone regimen, take two of Viagra.

That's spot on.

That's spot on.

Yep, you better have it.

You better shave every hair off your body.

You better look like a 20-year-old porn star when you get into the bedroom so she knows you're rock hard and ready.

How excited she's going to call her friends when she finds out you get a full erection.

Family.

He can get a full erection.

No penis bump or anything.

He's not a cat.

The only downside is there's a huge grease stain on my pillow.

Yeah.

Hey, listen, you know, you give a little, you take a look.

You can't do that, Frank Bonato.

It's against the rules.

Read the rules.

Read the rules, Frank.

Get that woman to respond to you.

You know what I like to compare this to?

How many of you gentlemen out there have a business?

Did you ever send out mailers?

Oh, my God.

We still haven't answered one question.

He still hasn't answered one question about how you prepare yourself.

He said, You better be spot on.

What exactly does that mean?

You told him to get in shape.

What do you expect?

Everyone's just going to get up and start lifting weights.

They don't have a fucking life.

They're going to start spending all day at the gym, at the hairstylist, making videos about my ex-wife cheating on me.

I mean, like, come on, Frank.

Mailers.

Let's just say you sent out a 100 mailers.

If you get one.

Mailers?

I sent out mailers.

What are you talking about?

What kind of business do you own?

Lawn gear.

A pizza.

A pizza place.

A dominoes.

Yeah.

Mailers only work very, very strategically these days.

You put a picture of Frank Bernardo on there naked.

You're going to get everyone to open it to see what's in that package.

Look who's mailing me.

Yeah, look who's making money.

It's Frank Fernardo with the erection.

One response out of a hundred mailers, you did real good.

That's a law of average.

I like to compare this dating stuff to sending out mailers.

For every hundred girls you click on that are 10 years younger than you, if you get one of those women to respond, you did a good job.

Oh my gosh.

Okay, right.

Got it.

But what tell us

how to do it?

How do we do it?

You promised us.

And guess what?

It's just a response.

It's not a date.

Now you got to work it and convince them from that point.

What makes you at 60 so different,

so special than any 50-year-old that babe can get?

What are you talking about?

You are talking in fucking spiral.

He's spiraling.

Yeah, he's way spiraling.

And

the part that makes me upset, Frank, is that you probably paid a production company a lot of money to record this video and edit it for you, right?

I could be wrong about that, but I'm just assuming the quality of the video.

And we have friends that do this, and it's like $10,000 for three videos, right?

And so that's

$3,300 of video.

And no one has told you that you're just rambling on and you're not getting to the fucking point.

No.

Right?

You get a response.

It's just a response.

Now you got to work really hard.

Now you got to convince them you're not an axe murderer.

Contact a direct mailer.

Okay, so tell them how to convince.

When you send out mailers for dates these days, you get very little response.

I don't know what's happening.

Back in the 80s, I used to get a ton of pussy just sending out mailers.

I'd put a picture in my face and I'd say,

I'd say, no low T here.

And I'd just

go call now.

1-800 Frankie V.

You see how hard this is?

No, I don't because you're not telling me.

You see how the window's real small?

What I'd like for you guys to do is...

Oh, here we go.

Okay, an action.

Here we go.

An action.

You ready?

I would love for you to set realistic goals.

Okay, I'm with you.

Let's go.

Let's set some goals.

Okay, here it goes.

Realistic expectations.

Yeah.

Okay.

You could start out at 50 on the young side, but maybe go.

This is going to sound crazy.

Maybe go 50.

Six to lost me again, Frank.

Oh, my God, Frank.

You just keep on giving me the same example.

First of all, we know you're not talking about 50-year-olds.

You're talking about 20-year-olds.

First of all, second of all,

what is some magic number between 50 and 60?

Why do you keep on saying that?

There's a magic number between 50 and 60.

There's a small window.

Let's set some goals.

You're not doing any of it.

I haven't learned a shit.

Oh.

I haven't learned a fucking thing, Jackie Weevo.

He hasn't even told us what brand to use for like a shaving tool.

That's right.

I mean, just start there, Frank.

Give me something.

Give me something.

What kind of telester story should I be taking?

Give me something I can tell myself.

Yeah.

She's ready to hook her dad up with Frankie B, but Frankie B so far hasn't given us jack shit, except told us that if a woman checks her phone at dinner, she's cheating on you.

And a 50-year-old woman is getting hit on by a 60-year-old is going to call her parents and tell her, hey, you, mom,

I got a 60-year-old on the hook.

I can die in peace.

Yep.

That's great, Jill.

He's my forever man.

That's great, Jill.

All I wanted for you was a 60-year-old man.

Now I can die in it.

You've done it.

Okay, you're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at TCB.

It's pretty simple.

Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute.

Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command.

Do you want to help Astrid too?

You know you do.

Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-433-3TCB.

That's 212-433-3822.

You can be on the show too.

Mm-hmm.

Just call and say something.

Anything.

Or text us and we'll text you right back.

Promise.

Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker.

It's your constitutional right to a sticker and we must abide.

You get the point.

Follow us on Instagram at thecommercial break and watch all the episodes on video at youtube.com slash thecommercial break.

Best to you and Astrid.

Especially Astrid.

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55.

That opens up a 15-year window.

Can you find good-looking, beautiful women in their 60s, early 60s?

You can.

And here, take it from me.

You could find women in their 60s that are far better looking and in far better shape than women in their 50s.

They're out.

Take it from me.

Take it from Frank.

You can take this advice to the bank.

What advice?

I don't know because he hasn't given anybody.

Take it from Frank.

There are hot women in their 60s, 70s, and 80s.

It sounds like a radio station.

He's giving a radio contest.

Hot women from the 60s, 70s, and 80s.

We're playing all the hits from yesterday and today on Frankie V.

Fashion, lifestyle.

Fucking grooming.

Cheating.

Grooming.

Dating women in their 50s

out there.

There are women out there that take care of themselves.

So open up.

There are women out there that take care of themselves.

You don't say.

You are such a fucking chauvinist, Frank.

Cop the parameters because you might find the woman of your dreams in her early 60s.

You notice how his voice raises the more bullshitty he gets?

I'm also confused because I feel like in the very beginning he was saying just target the 50-year-old.

He did.

Now he's

open open it up.

Yeah, he said you want to date the younger women because we're just human.

That's all we're going to look at is the younger women.

Now we're going to open it up.

Now we're not going to go 10 years.

We're going to go 15 years one way or the other.

So you can get down to 45 or you can get down to 70.

Love averages as old.

Oh my god, Frank.

You're just dying.

You're killing me, buddy.

That's only two years older than you.

Just open up everything and you're going to save yourself.

So Frank is basically doing a complicated math problem with women, and he's teaching us here online how to do algebra with math with women's ages.

And still, I don't know what the answer is because I never figured out what the question is.

There's a lot of disappointment from not getting a date.

And let's just say

you are able to land that date.

How hard do you think it is to get a second date with a 15?

Oh my God, Frank,

you got to give people advice here, bud.

You got to step in with some actual advice.

You're assuming that someone can get a first date based on the non-information that you've given them so far.

They've opened

their age rate.

Basically, what they have to do is they have to take and make a graph chart, put their age right here and go 15 ways this, 15 years this way, or 15 years that way.

That's the advice you've given them so far, Frank, is a math equation.

Again, you better be spot on.

What does that mean?

What does it mean?

You need to be spot on.

It's gotta look the part.

Everything has gotta work.

It's gotta be perfect for that woman to jump up to that level.

What level?

I don't know.

What are you talking about?

What happened?

Where are we on the graph?

I bet Frank is like, for a woman to jump up on this cock, you gotta be spot on.

By level, I mean my bald penis

said, I've been working with the pump every day,

raising my T and raising my P.

You know what I'm saying, Chrissy?

That's advice you can take to the bank.

There you have it.

I love how he says it.

There you have it.

No, there you have nothing, Frank.

All right, and a lot of women, you know, a lot of guys think just because they got the money, you know, they start flashing the money.

I would not go there because there's a lot of women that are onto that game.

Oh, they're onto the game of a rich guy

showering them with money?

I'm on to you.

You want to take me to the male division this weekend?

I am on to you.

No, sir.

I'm not going to be tricked by that one again.

Yeah.

Do you know how many?

Nice gifts.

Good dinner.

That's right.

I had a man who bought me a yacht once, and I will not be fooled again.

I will not be gifted one more Mercedes.

You got me.

I will not be gifted one more Mercedes.

That's right.

It will not happen.

Okay, they're not going to be bought.

So I would, there are women out there that will, okay, but the majority of them won't.

They're not going to be able to get them.

I'm going to disagree with you, Frank.

I'm going to disagree with you, bud.

And that works both ways, by the way.

Your money,

especially if you do meet a woman 50 years old or, you know, 10 years younger than you, don't start talking about money.

Don't start talking about what you got.

You're trying to buy them.

You're trying to impress them.

Let them ask you when they're ready.

How much money do you make?

How much money do you have?

Let me roll it right now.

This is stick up.

You thought it was a second date.

You were so spot on I gave you a second date, but now it's just a hold up.

What the fuck are you talking about, Frank?

Bad news,

you drank too much Red Ball this morning or whatever it is you do, man.

This guy has non-linear thought.

This is literally word vomit right now.

Because what they're going to do is they're going to feel you out.

They're going to ask a lot.

Oh, I bet they're going to feel you out, Frank.

They're going to feel you right out the door.

Yeah.

A lot of questions.

They're tricky.

They're sneaky.

They're women.

Oh, my God.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Frank, Frank, Frank, Frank, Frank.

Frank, what are they even being sneaky about?

Frank.

They're sneaky.

If you're giving them money, they're going to take it and use it.

They're sneaky.

They're women.

They're going to ask you questions.

Trust me.

I know a lot of women and they ask questions.

Yeah.

When they say,

trust me, watch this.

They walk in the door for the second date.

They're going to ask a question like,

how was your day?

Don't say a fucking word.

It's a trap.

They're sneaky.

They know you have money when they ask you those kind of questions.

When you say, my day was great, they're going to know you're loaded.

But they're on to you.

They're on to you.

They know you're about to give them money.

Frank, you're out of control, bud.

First of all, I I want to say you're kind of cute, Frank, and kind of funny until you make comments like, They're women.

Yeah, they're sneaky.

They're women.

You're a douche.

So there you go.

You're Frank.

You're Frank.

You're Rernardo.

You're a douche.

Yeah.

Come on, Frank.

Leave that kind of shit out of the videos.

They're going to surprise you.

Sneak attack.

Mam!

Bam!

Bam!

They're going to jump through your window

at all hours of the night and day and surprise you with questions

to give you that money back that you gave them.

They're going to come in with the keys to the Mercedes and go, I'm on to you.

You're going to be like, whoa.

Shit didn't work.

I was going to give her that Mercedes.

She jumped right in the window, scared the hell out of me.

Sneak attack.

Sneaky.

I've had two heart attacks already from women jumping out of the rafters.

They just come out of nowhere and ask you a question.

Yeah, how is your day?

Wow!

But he said specifically, don't tell them, let them ask you questions.

But then when they ask you questions, was that when you're supposed to back off?

Or I don't know.

Where are we on the ground?

I'm having a hard time following Frank here.

I don't know.

I'm trying to keep up, Frank.

I really am.

This is how they do it.

But if you're a guy that presses money, money, money, money, you're going to be gone.

All right.

Because you're going to be gone.

You're going to be gone.

What?

Oh, they said you're going to be good.

No, you're gonna be gone.

You're gonna be good.

No, he said you're gonna be gone, which is the opposite of what's gonna happen.

Yeah, come on, Frank.

You don't anybody wants to have a partner that's stable, and that's

if you have no money, you're in there.

You're one step ahead of the game.

If you're living in your ex-wife's apartment like I am,

you're good,

but if you got plenty of money, you're fine.

If you have a yacht and two cars, women are going to go, I'm on you.

They're sneaky.

They're sneaky.

They can tell when you got money.

They're going to leave real quick.

They're going to be gone.

Yeah, you'll never get that second date if they know you have money, so hide it.

Dress like a homeless person, but you know,

a homeless person that smells good with muscles.

Oh

my god.

It makes no sense.

It makes no sense.

I love Frank.

These are the best videos that I could go on all day.

I'm trying to buy them, and they're going to be on to that.

So, all I'm trying to say here is

trying to wrap it up.

What?

Yeah.

What are you trying to say, Frank?

Please give us a clue.

Is it?

If you open up your parameters, okay, you're going to get dates.

If you pin it to just 10 years younger,

guys, you're going to be disappointed.

You're going to be frustrated.

Oh, my God.

So the whole thing is about the date range.

Date range and surprise questions and sneak attacks.

And money.

And money.

Because you're not going to get a lot of dates.

So all I'm trying to do is get you to open up your eyes.

Be realistic, okay?

Don't be so hell-bent on finding someone 10, 12 years younger than you.

You might find someone your age, two years younger, two years older, that's going to work and it's going to be very compatible for you.

So

I hope that kind of helps.

Don't be so hell-bent

on finding someone your age.

Oh.

Get your mind straight on, especially if you're new to the dating scene.

All right.

Trust me, Frank's been on the dating scene for a while.

Yeah, he knows the ends of the world.

Yeah, and there's a reason why, because he hasn't learned a fucking thing.

He knows the ends of the

first get on there.

Yeah, we're going to go attack the younger women, and you're going to be done.

Attack!

With your money and your questions.

Disappointed.

So take it from me.

Open up your parameters, get some dates,

and just have fun with it.

So guys, that concludes today's video.

Oh, my God.

Thank God.

Thanks.

Thanks for nothing.

That was on a quick hit.

Yeah, that was a quick hit video.

Just doing a quick hit video, real quick.

Get out your graph paper.

22 minutes of your time.

Your pencil.

Do you have your projector?

And I don't mean the kind that actually projects.

I mean like the projector for math problems.

Remember?

Yes, the circle.

Yes, the circle.

Can you get out your calculus calculator?

Yeah, you're going to need it.

If you found an informational.

Well, I found nothing informational, Frank.

I found it highly entertaining.

Ready?

There we go.

So, gentlemen, in today's video, we're going to go over five more sneaky signs that your wife just might be cheating on your ass.

Gonna fuck your mind.

What are you waiting for?

What are you waiting for out there?

Get it done!

I just imagine that Frank is like, this is his, his like when his phone goes off in the morning

This is the song that wakes him up and he's like what am I waiting for?

I gotta go get it done.

I don't know what it is, but I'm gonna get it done today.

I haven't worked in 12 years

I'm gonna go polish.

I'm gonna go polish my Corvette again outside of my shirt off

Oh God, you just got out of this song

What's going on, guys?

I love that even the last part he said, cheating on your ass.

Cheating on your ass.

Wait, Frankie, this is so transparent that Frankie has been cheated on in this manner.

Anything that Frankie says in any of these videos, I just imagine that Frankie has an ex-wife that did exactly what he's saying you should look out for because how else would he know this information, you know?

And it's so specific.

If she takes out her phone at Ruby Tuesdays on a Thursday night at 7:45 p.m.

in booth number three.

She's cheating on you.

She's cheating on you.

Booth number three.

Booth number three.

In Rosdale, California.

If you've got David Thompson, the pool boy, cleaning your pool every Monday and Wednesday.

And you working?

And those are your workout times?

If she goes to the gym,

Remember that was one.

Right.

If she goes to the gym.

Yeah.

She goes to the gym.

Half the women in America.

What are you talking about?

If this is your first time here, my name is Frank Bernardo.

If you're a virgin, call me up.

This channel is geared for all guys.

I'll be gentle.

All guys over the age of 50 who want to up their game, look and feel better about themselves in grooming, fitness, fashion, and lifestyle.

How many more things can you focus on, Frankie?

Like, let's just stick to one.

Grooming, fitness.

grooming, fashion, focus, lifestyle, photography, theme parks,

Mediterranean cuisine,

ring lights, cameras, televisions, soundproofing, guitars.

Chairs.

I'm just now just naming things in the studio.

Lots of wires.

Fire hazards.

Remember the time the panel came down?

Yes, I do.

Or the fan was falling apart.

Screws were falling from the fan.

Oh, there's probably that kid who you guys are fucking dicks.

I hope you die in your studio.

I hope your fan decapitates you.

It's true.

My son comes in here.

He has a shit fit every single time we come into the studio.

It's true.

He just can't get.

He doesn't.

The only thing that he wants to do in life is be in the studio with Chrissy and Daddy.

I know, it's the things you can't have

you want the most.

So, we had to lock the door, so we have a little lock at the top that you slide, right?

And my biggest nightmare is that the ceiling fan sets on fire

all the soundproofing goes aflame and we can't get out.

It's like a white snake concert.

And then it's being broadcast.

TCB episode 3312.

The gang dies.

You guys are fucking, oh,

it works.

Wow.

I wanted you guys to die, and it worked.

Back to Frankie.

You know, but if you're a gentleman in your 40s, you know, don't turn the video off, you know, because I know.

Yeah, listen, I know that I'm really, this content is geared toward people in their 70s, but if you're in your 40s, wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on.

Hold on.

I need your subscription.

I'm almost there.

I'm almost to a thousand.

I've been at, you know, when the odometer rolls over to 999, I've been there for 12 miles.

Don't worry, Frankie.

So it's the commercial break.

Exactly.

We feel your pain.

You know, 40 years old, you think you're the men of the world and you know everything that's going on out there.

And nothing could be further from the truth.

When you're 50, that's when you know everything.

Way to really, really,

wait.

If you're 40, hold on, I got to advise you.

You're an idiot.

You're an idiot.

Look at my body.

You're the kind of dumbass no one cares about.

Excuse me.

You're the kind of badass that no one cares about.

There are two kinds of badasses in the world.

Me and all you other shitheads.

So, take this information, absorb it, utilize it, and put it in.

What is it, a vitamin?

Absorb it.

I'm in the Frankie tank absorbing the information.

It feels so good on my Skundel sack.

Can I dip my balls in?

It really absorbs better that way.

Yeah, it does.

That's right.

It gets your blood faster.

Your tasty testicles.

Your taste bud?

Your testicle taste buds.

Put it into play, because it just might make you a little bit more wiser when you're a guy my age.

How old is that, Donald?

You've never stayed.

Yeah, is that 50?

I'm guessing 65,

probably.

And he looks good for 65.

Yeah, no, he does.

but I'm that's why he wants people to look at his mom I guess whenever he's drinking like amniotic fluid or something

splashing it on his face every morning I use pure palislenta

on my eyes

gentlemen so before we get cranking into this video and anytime you like it anytime you like the information anytime you think that this information is gonna help you catch your cheating dog

a wife then smash that like button and don't forget to share.

Oh, my God.

Okay, so Frankie is constantly talking about on other videos that are not as good auditory-wise, or I would play them.

He is always talking about older men trying to be younger.

Like, he's in Mexico and he's talking about the right-length bathing suit, right?

And he's like, you know, I see these guys wearing them down around their ankles.

That's a young guy.

You don't have a young guy.

You know, don't try and be a young guy.

And then I see guys that wear them way too short.

That's a young guy.

Don't try and be a young guy.

It's got to be the right length, right in between.

And I'm like, what are you, a Catholic nun?

You like checking girls' skirts or something what do you mean the right length for a for a bathing suit who cares right he's always talking the bathing suit length isn't gonna be what the turning point is in relationship

yeah i know some girl's not gonna sleep with you based on your bathing suit length i can guarantee you right but it because when you get to that age it's just like look at that bathing suit

length

hot dog ooh sucks that mama uh but he's always talking about how you shouldn't try and act younger you should try and act your age like be your age and then what he he says is,

if you smash that like button, what are you, 12 playing Fortnite?

Smash that like button.

Smash your face, Frankie.

Let's get cranking into this video.

If you say let's get cranking one more time,

you are dating yourself by saying, let's get cranking.

Let's get cranking.

You know what let's get cranking means?

It's like when they had to crank the cars, they would actually start them for the front day.

there's a lot of you guys out there that are saying you know what my wife ain't cheating on me look at this look what's going on here why would she cheat on me

i guarantee you're not just watching a frankie beef video

randomly if your wife is not cheating on you that's right that's right frankie no what he's saying look what i've got going on look at what i've got going on look at this package look at the full package never do that that's right i get up 13 times a night to pee

Got gray hairs on my pubes.

I've been going to the tanning bed for 40 years, so my skin is like leather.

I've got bulletproof skin.

Why would she not want me?

I get half an erection.

Half an erection is full erection.

It only goes to five.

It's like that old speaker that's broken where you just need it to turn up a little bit louder, but it never does.

It's like my cock.

Why would she leave that?

That's right.

I've got a penis pump to help me get it there.

I don't know.

Do you pay attention?

What was that?

Do you pay attention to her?

Are you affectionate?

Are you romantic?

Are you giving her what she needs financially?

Sexually.

Oh,

think about it.

I will think about it.

Financially.

Have you paid for last night?

Your credit's no longer good here, sir.

You're four fucks behind on paying us.

Oh, Frankie.

Financially, what does that mean?

What is a woman supposed to leave you the second you can't afford everything?

Yeah, I guess so.

Thank we're getting into another specific here frankie still lives with his mom in a one bedroom south side of chicago

are you are you

best of you

what kind of shape are you in are you changing pretty bad shape things are not going great for me right now frankie it's a really bad situation i'm in bad shape man

I'm playing Dungeons and Dragons in my dad's basement.

Finding your videos?

Yeah, I've been watching your videos on repeat for three years

bad shape frankie taking care of yourself are you making sure you're the best possible you you could be for your wife what generalized bullshit is this are you the best possible you sound like one of those life coaches on clubhouse are you the best you did you wake up this morning being the best you you could be what is the best me i can be what the fuck does that mean exactly I mean, I get the general premise of it.

I do.

Come on.

Like, you, yes.

Like, get up, be a good human, like, you know, smile let people in and traffic i get all that bullshit but what a bunch of generalized bullshit like tell me exactly what i need to do to be my best yeah we need specifics and what does it mean if you can't work out you're not like you your women shouldn't be with you i don't get it it's just like it's just frankie here you go again just giving us a bunch of pylon bullshit you know a bunch of platitudes that don't mean anything and i guarantee you're not going to get to a point here i guarantee you never get to the point

you want her to be that way right you want her to look good you want her be a little bit more.

But she can't go to the gym.

Yeah, of course.

But I'm the man.

But I'm the man.

That's the way it's supposed to be.

I was built like this.

I can't help it that God made me.

You're being your best self.

That you're being my best self.

I'm being a man.

I can't help it that God wants me to be the king of my territory.

You're just lucky we're letting you vote.

Her dress nice.

You want her to be sexy.

You think she doesn't want the same to you?

Guys, stop being complacent.

All right?

That's how you get yourself in trouble.

Here's the facts.

Facts.

Oh, here he comes with the facts.

He's breaking out the Google machine.

I can guarantee no facts are going to follow.

53% of all wives cheat on their men.

What was that?

33%?

Okay.

33%?

Jeez.

Astrid?

Are you still here?

I'm going to go check her phone immediately.

53%.

So, let's talk about.

Wait, he said 53%.

53?

53%.

I think that's a little high.

Okay, now you got my attention, Frankie.

Okay, now go.

Tell me more.

If I got you and nine of your buddies together and I interviewed all 10 of you guys and I asked you, do you think your wife is cheating on you?

Well, probably

I would say all 10 would say no.

But guess what?

Five of you guys are wrong.

Whoa.

Facts lay in the facts.

Yeah, where did you get this information from?

Does the CDC give this information on their website?

Because I don't know.

That just seems like a high number.

It does seem like 50, like five out of 10 women cheat on their husbands?

No.

Huh.

I wonder how many men cheat on their wives.

Yeah.

That's a good question.

But he doesn't have those facts readily available.

That doesn't fit the narrative of this video.

No.

Five of you guys.

So room of 10, at least five of the wives are cheating on your husbands now think about that here's a figure think about that 67 of all guys cheat 67 so seven out of ten wow wow we are a bunch of cheating motherfuckers i know and i'm thinking like are the cheaters also cheating on each other

yeah because then the math doesn't work out so some of these guys are going to suit them

which nothing wrong with that absolutely but i mean you shouldn't do it while you're married but okay but it's the statistical thing is kind of feeling more like there's the wife is cheating and the man is cheating.

Yes, the man is cheating and the wife is cheating.

In that case, that's a whole other episode.

That's just swingers.

That's just, yeah.

That's just swingers.

Holly Hammer.

Which, by the way, we get a ton of traffic on that episode from search results on Google.

I just want you to know.

53% of all women cheat.

39% of men get caught.

You want to hear something alarming?

48%

of all cheating wives get caught.

And in this video, I'm going to show you how you catch them.

Wow, we've been listening to this video now for 12 minutes, and we're just getting to the part where he's actually

he said he was going to give us facts, but I'm not sure that those were facts.

I just want to let you know that I have no idea that that information is.

He didn't cite any kind of stuff.

No, of course he didn't.

He cited his own life.

93% of my wives have cheated on me.

If you got five, if you got 10 of my wives lined up in a room, five of them cheated on me.

5.3.

one cheated twice

oh ten of my friends that's crazy that's crazy yeah wow i don't feel so great about marriage anymore now i'm kind of like eh

i was feeling great about my wife now i'm like eh she's half of her is cheating on me

your wife has become more judgmental towards your marriage or your relationship One thing to note about a cheating

Maybe you're just a dick, Frankie.

Maybe she's more judgmental because you're a cocksucker.

Yeah.

Spouse.

She's always going to try and rationalize her behavior.

Always going to try and make out that your marriage is far worse than what it is.

You know why?

Because it makes them feel like cheating wasn't an option.

I had to do it.

It was so bad.

They're getting all Frankie has been in this conversation.

Absolutely.

He's repeating what he heard.

I had to do it, Frankie.

You're a dick.

You're a misogynist.

You're a fucked wad.

You're an overgrown oaf.

Justification.

I know.

Poor Frankie.

Theatrical and dramatic on the marriage.

They're judgmental.

Everything you do is wrong.

All of a sudden.

Because women are irrational and can't.

That's right.

They only think with their emotions.

They think with their vaginas, not with their heads.

Women, man,

they're like, I don't know, they're like

crazy monkeys just running around your jungle.

Screaming at things and you're being irrational.

Cheating on you.

Yeah, we're men.

We're like, we're like dogs.

We sit and we roll over when we're told to.

And we cheat.

We cheat 40%

more than women do.

Because sometimes you just gotta find another dick to be with.

You know what I'm saying?

Why?

Why all of a sudden?

You know why?

Because she's trying to rationalize her thoughts.

She's wrong.

She's trying to rationalize her thoughts?

What does that mean?

I'm trying to rationalize my thoughts.

I'm trying to think my thoughts.

Okay, Frankie?

Frankie.

Oh, he's screaming, too.

I know.

Oh, he's hot, dude.

It's emotional.

It's visceral.

Oh, God.

Poor Frankie.

He just can't help himself.

You know, women are a strange breed.

They can actually train themselves in their mind to fabricate.

Women are from a strange breed.

Women are from a third universe.

Strange breed.

They have lizard people DNA.

I heard it on Alex Jones.

They've trained their brains.

They've trained their brains.

They can train their brains to make shit up.

Where we guys, we know we got everything clear.

We see it clear as day.

That wasn't a riot.

That was some people having a nice day at the Capitol.

What are they thinking?

These women.

They're out of control.

They are.

This marriage that just ain't working, so they can justify their ass cheating.

Pay attention to that.

They're ass cheating.

They're ass cheeking.

It's what it sounded like.

They can justify their ass cheeking.

You have to justify them.

They're just there.

Don't worry about it.

Frankie, you're on a roll today.

Frank, my god, he's hot today.

Two, the intimacy has faded.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Let's see.

Richard Simmons walking in the door.

The intimate faded.

Hello.

Don't call me Shirley.

Now, this could be for a lot of reasons.

You know, women are very moody, so

what the fuck, Frankie?

You are so bad, man.

You are so bad.

This is so awful.

I know.

Can you imagine, like, sitting down with Frankie and like, like, on a first date?

And he's like, well, you're just moody and irrational.

You're trying to think your thoughts.

You're a strange breed.

Yeah, you're a strange breed.

You're trying to think your thoughts.

I don't think.

Literally, I don't think anything.

When I go to sleep at night, not a thing.

Cricket.

You're just a whole bunch of moody bitches.

You make this rather snappy, won't you?

Somebody can be thinking of it before 10 o'clock.

Hi, cats and kittens.

Rachel here.

Do you ever get the urge to speak endlessly into the void like Brian?

Well, I've got just the place for you to do that.

212-433-3TCB.

That's 212-433-3822.

Feel free to call and yell all you want.

Tell Brian I need a race.

Compliment Chrissy's innate ability to put up with all his shenanigans.

or tell us a little story.

The juicier, the better, by the way.

We'd love to hear your voice, because Lord knows we're done listening to ourselves.

Also, give us a follow on your favorite socials at the Commercial Break on Insta, TCB Podcast on TikTok.

And for those of you who like to watch, oh, that came out wrong.

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Your free sticker, or just to see how pretty we look.

Okay, I gotta go now.

I've got a date.

With my dog?

No, seriously, Axel needs food.

Today is pork chop day.

A massage chair might seem a bit extravagant, especially these days.

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This episode brought to you by MGM Plus, from executive producer Stephen King and an executive producer of Frog, comes the Institute, a chilling new original series from MGM Plus.

Kidnapped and trapped in a sinister facility, gifted teen Luke Ellis must join other children to fight for their survival, starring Emmy Award winner Mary Louise Parker, Ben Barnes, and introducing Joe Freeman, the Institute, premiering July 13th on MTM Plus.

Telltale sign.

You know, if you're sexual.

The telltale sign that your wife is sleeping with somebody else is if she's sleeping with somebody else.

And not you.

You're going safe, Ranky.

Life has just been fading on a regular basis.

Why is that all of a sudden?

It's It's very easy, gentlemen.

Open your eyes.

She's getting laid from someone else.

Oh, man.

Could it be that marriage is a marathon and not a sprint?

And there are times when, hey, listen, you got to spice things up in the bed.

There could be emotional problems.

There could be depression.

There could be problems.

Money.

There could be kids.

Fucking kids.

Yeah, have a kid.

You want to really put a kibosh on your sex life?

Have sex and make a child.

It's unbelievable.

Then try and have sex while a child is sleeping in between the two of you.

My dick isn't that long.

Honie, put your vagina over here.

I'm just going to hop over to Tias for a second.

I mean, come on, Frankie, get it together.

There could be a million reasons why your sex life is slowing down.

It's just, if you've been married for a long time, don't expect that you're going to get late every second of every day.

That doesn't happen like that.

No.

Take it from a guy who's been married twice.

I'll leave it there.

So if she's constantly rejecting you, open your eyes.

So, Tim, if she's constantly rejecting you, you've got bigger problems than sex, man.

I mean,

like, if you're like, hey, babe, you want to have sex?

And she's like, that thing?

Don't bring that thing near me.

You're just moody.

Yeah, and you're just moody.

Ah, you're just moody.

Don't bring those roll those testicles back up from the floor.

Put them back in your fan.

Best do you?

Scundlefish, Scundlefoot.

I just had the thought of Frankie taking down his pants

and his testicles roll out like one of those

tongues, yes.

Oh, best to you, Frankie.

Oh, my God.

His advice is really all.

Frankie, just your cartoon character.

I don't know what to say.

That's it.

I think that is it.

Number three, they're constantly asking you to go take that trip.

Why don't you go get away?

Why don't you go visit?

Why are you possibly asking you to take a trip?

Why don't you leave the house and take your furniture with you?

Why don't you take half the stuff and sign this paperwork and take that trip you've been wanting to the other side of town in that apartment where you're going to live?

Take that trip.

What?

Take that trip.

Possibly.

Who says that?

Hey, honey, I really want you to take that trip.

You better stop.

Start watching what you're drinking because she's probably poisoning you.

Honey, I want you to get in the car and drive away right now.

Test the brakes.

What?

Oh, my God.

what the

emily how about the golf trip with the buddies you need to go gentlemen there's a reason why she wants you gone so she can spend more time with the person she's cheating with oh my god

this is so specific this had to have happened oh this had to have happened to him

he is here's the thing he went on a golf he thinks that his ex-wife is watching this right and he thinks because he's he's that self-important he thinks his because he doesn't think much of women obviously he thinks that he's that important that his wife is now going to be watching this big youtube star with all 672 of his subscribers right as he describes without describing watching and laughing and laughing and going thank god

i got half the house

thank god i didn't sign that prenup

because he was the douche i thought he was

Well, you know, it's kind of strange how I met him anyway.

I was just sitting at the bar and he came up and said, hey, I'm your blind date.

And I was like, no, you're not.

And you're like, I know I'm not.

I'm not your first choice.

Look at me in the eyes.

Yeah, look at me in the eyes.

Look at my body.

Look at my body.

He came in.

He came in the bar like the Kool-Aid man.

He busted through the wall.

He busted through the wall with his shirt off and was like, Look at my body.

Hey, I know I'm not your first choice, but I'm a choice.

Oh my god.

So she's constantly push, push, pushing for you to take a trip.

Constantly, what?

Push, push, pushing.

I've never in my life, have I ever, I've had lots of people cheat on me, but I've never had anybody push, push, push for me to take a trip constantly.

Take that trip.

Go.

Are you back?

You leave again.

I bought you tickets to Mexico.

They're on the table.

I don't.

Don't unpack.

Don't unpack and don't look in the shower because the pool boy's there.

Go back.

Go back to Mexico.

You know those whorehouses down in Costa Rica?

Go to those.

I want you to go experience that.

You only live once.

Get out of here.

See you later.

I bought a ticket for you and the 19-year-old babysitter.

Head out to Mexico together.

Take the kids.

They only had one room available.

King Bed.

Take the kids with you.

Leave them at the airport.

I don't give a shit.

Billy the Pool Boy's got a dick that's 12 inches long.

And it's curved

like this.

Not your flat,

half-hard cock.

The fire's not working.

Take that trip.

There's a reason why.

Oh, I bet there was.

Do you ever notice that the routine might be changing, especially if you've been in a long-term marriage?

Do you ever notice you spending more time with your divorce attorney?

Yes.

I mean, that the routine.

Did you ever notice she's moving stuff out of the house on a Saturday morning

and packing the kids up to go on a nice long vacation with you?

Without you?

Without you.

Something could be up.

She's changing the routine.

Did you ever notice she's changing the routine?

Open your eyes.

That's right.

She meets your next-door neighbor for sex in the morning.

She could be cheating on you.

Might be.

Possibly.

Possibly.

I mean,

don't let your thoughts run wild.

Don't be moody.

Yeah.

Listen, I don't say this to get you paranoid.

I just want you paying attention to all the 300 different things that could mean your wife's cheating on you.

Oh.

Marriage.

Let's face it.

You have a routine and your wife has a routine.

If all of a sudden that routine starts changing, well, there's a reason why.

Because she's making f ⁇ .

I can't imagine that he's been in a relationship before.

I mean, obviously it's not successful.

No, yeah.

I mean,

everything he's saying just doesn't make the sense.

It doesn't make...

I mean, listen, could all of this be construed as something to be concerned about?

I'm sure the cheaters have displayed some of these.

Sure,

in history, yes, I'm sure.

But it's not an immediate like, she's cheating.

Wow, this is.

Change your routine.

What about living your best self?

Yeah.

what about living your best self and doing your thing?

And what about not having a routine, you know, that set of a routine that if she doesn't brush her teeth at noon, you know, at you know, four in the morning every day, she's cheating on you.

Exactly.

Sounds like you're just ultra paranoid, or this has happened many times to you.

These are all the different ways you have been cheated on.

You thought back on it and was like, oh, that must have meant I should have paid attention to that.

Yeah.

I mean, if she changes her routine, she's pushing me to go on trip.

If the routine change includes someone else's dick, then yeah, I can understand why.

But otherwise,

maybe she's just a human and people need to change routines.

Don't ask

time for the person that she's cheating with.

So you need to pay special attention.

Don't blow it off.

Don't blow it off.

Get a private investigator and put a tracker on her car.

That's right.

Like, why'd you change your routine?

What are you doing?

Frankie said it.

Frankie, I was watching this YouTube.

You start with the right upper quadrant usually when you brush your teeth and now you're at the left quadrant.

Are you fucking our son's teacher?

She's a woman.

I know.

Is that pubic hair?

Is that pubic hair?

In your mouth.

In your mouth.

Or dental floss.

I can't tell.

Oh, it's dental floss.

Sorry.

Then just checking.

That's funny.

That's funny.

She usually gets into the bed around 7.05 and 7.12.

You whore!

You good-for-nothing slut.

It's happening all over again.

It's happening all over again.

Oh, shit.

I bet Frankie's life is actually pretty sad outside these videos.

I know.

Yeah.

Seems pretty rigid, too.

Yeah, I mean, for, you know, for a guy who seems to get laid a lot or thinks he can.

It's like, that's, you know, people who are paranoid like this only get laid a lot.

They don't have relationships that last for a long time because they're so jealous and so paranoid that

they can't hold a relationship because it doesn't work that way.

Fuck yeah, they're turned off.

Not to mention it's exhausting.

It is.

It's exhausting.

It really is.

Why are we doing this forever?

Okay, pay attention if she's doing things different.

Her routine varies.

She's going out more.

She's dressing different.

She looks different.

She's coming home a little later.

If your wife looks like a different person, if your wife is a different person, if your wife has hired an actress to come in the door, it's likely something's going on.

Pay attention.

Pay attention.

I'm exhausted.

I don't want to pay attention anymore.

In my marriage, I don't want to pay attention.

I don't want to pay attention to anything that Astra does that's out of the ordinary.

I chalk it up to she's a human being.

Exactly.

And I go, I love you.

And that's what I do.

I go, I love you no matter what.

Whatever.

She got stuck at the office where she never got stuck before.

But why the way you get stuck at the office?

You don't have the code to get out the door?

You know what I'm saying?

I got stuck in the office.

I'm stuck in the office.

They won't let me out.

Maybe she got a promotion.

Maybe she got a promotion.

Maybe it's a big project she's been working on.

Or maybe she's fucking Bob and accounts payable.

Could be.

I mean, it could be.

Could be.

Yeah.

Possibly.

Could be.

Telltale signs.

It could happen once in a while.

I get that.

But just pay attention to the pattern.

You're going to bust her ass out.

Before we get to the bottom.

You're going to bust her ass out?

What is that?

You and your friends making up words now?

You got phrases over there and Frankie V-Land busting her ass out.

I'm going to bust your ass out.

If you broke late one more time,

I'm going to bust your ass.

Your ass is busted.

If you brush your teeth from right to left one more time, I'm going to bust your ass out.

I got a tracker on your toothbrush.

I know which way you're brushing.

Bust your ass out.

Jennifer, we have to talk to you.

Why is Patty from HR in here?

We should have to have a conversation with you.

Last night when you were working late and Frank busted through the door without his shirt on

and two ring lights

saying, look at my body.

And I just busted your ass out.

It really disturbs some of the other employees.

I'm

afraid things aren't working.

Oh, this is the third job in six months.

Oh, she's changed.

When Frankie showed up with a camera and a dolly,

when a key grip and two soundmen showed up in the office to set up for Frankie busting through the wall, saying,

I caught you, Jeannie.

I really am picturing.

That means

like with a bunch of cameramen around him and a dolly, like one of those dollies that just pushes him through the wall.

So it looks like he's flying to the wall with his shirt off.

Look at my body!

I caught you cheating.

I caught you cheating.

Nope, just doing invoicing.

Well, this is embarrassing.

I'll be at the house if you need me.

I'm going to go back and make some dinner.

Feel like Thai tonight, honey?

Don't worry, I'll pay for the damage.

Oh my God, Frankie.

Oh, Frankie, you're one of a kind, man.

I'm gonna bust the wall out in your office trying to figure out what's going on.

It's me, Frankie B.

Smash that like button.

Smash that like button while I smash to this wall and find my wife cheating.

Nope, it's just inventory.

Ah, shit.

Hey, honey, sorry.

I'm really sorry.

I apologize.

I apologize, everybody.

Hi, I'm Frankie B.

Have you seen my YouTube channel?

It's for guys over 50 minutes of fitness fashion fun.

I don't know.

Maybe you're.

Photography.

Photography.

Home improvement projects.

Maybe you've seen it.

Here's a card.

Smash that like button.

Smash that like button.

Okay, thanks, everybody.

Bye.

Then the dolly pulls backwards and all the guys file out of the hole

uh janine we're gonna have to talk about your husband again i know that's the third wall this month

oh my god

five let's talk about

most guys when they get into their 50s upper 50s, they get very complacent.

They're not really paying attention to what's going on.

The obvious signs, because you're so caught up in your own life, your routine.

You also.

You're so caught up in yourself.

Yeah, you're so caught up in yourself.

What are you doing?

All involved in yourself, thinking about yourself all the time.

Yeah,

it makes it sound like when you're 50, like someone turns off the switch and you're just like.

anything else.

It used to be like, look at my body, and now I'm like, look at my body.

Look at it.

I'm so involved in myself.

We turned 50 and they put you in a wheelchair in the old people's home.

It's like, you're 50.

It's 50.

Harrison Ford's making Indian out of Jones doing his own stunts.

He's 90.

Come on, Frankie.

Your wife spoused for granted.

And that's probably not a good thing to do.

You know, if you choose...

It's probably not a good thing to do to take your wife for granted.

Your wife's spouse.

Yeah, your wife's spouse.

Your wife's spouse.

Hey, spouse.

Hey, spouse.

What's up with the cheating?

What?

I just noticed.

I noticed that you put your hair in ponytails yesterday.

That's not usual.

I'm coming to your office again.

Okay, fine, but don't bring the movie crew this time.

But I already paid him for 12 videos.

We're up to 900 subscribers

to ignore all the telltale signs.

If you're good with that, then that's fine.

But if you're not, you need to open up your eyes.

You need to start paying attention to what they're doing.

All right?

Especially if they know you're very complacent, very lethargic, very not carrying.

Look at Bob, the bobble care.

Look at my husband, that fat Bob on the couch, playing NFL Madden.

Go ahead, whip your dick out right here.

He's not gonna notice.

He doesn't notice shit.

Since he turned 50, he just lays on the couch eating Doritos, mumbling to himself.

Something about the good old days.

I remember when I used to get lots of pussy.

No, no, I don't care.

Go ahead, fuck the pool boy.

I'm just thinking about myself.

You're gonna walk all over your ass.

You're like...

Wow, what's up?

Frankie's charged up in this video.

Super charged up.

Super deep.

It's very close to home.

Clearly, this has happened to him.

Walk all over your ass.

Jeez, Frankie.

You're like shooting fish in a barrel, okay?

You're easy.

All right?

Start calling them out.

Start asking what they're doing.

Start calling them out.

Shooting fish in a barrel.

Shooting fish in a barrel.

What's up, Janine?

I know you can smell dick on your breath.

Call him out.

Bust her ass out.

Bust her ass out.

What's up with the bite marks on your dits?

That's a floral print bra.

Oh, okay.

Just keeping.

Just want to keep you on your toes.

I'm like a ninja.

My eyes are open.

That's right.

I'm like a private eye ninja.

When she walks in the house,

I jump from the top of the balcony, and I'm like, what's up with that dick on your breath?

Let me smell your breath.

Is that dick?

Is that the neighbor's cock?

You're suspecting things.

Okay, guys, just

open your freaking eyes.

All right, guys, we're at the climax, and that is.

Oh, we're at the climax.

Jesus, the climax is the most important part, not the end,

Frankie.

But whatever.

Tip number five.

And this is going to be the last tip.

But you just gave tip number five.

That's two tip number fives.

And then he said something about 12 tips earlier.

No, I think it's five.

But he said he did 12 tips earlier.

That's the one we covered a couple months ago.

In this video, but it's the most obvious tip.

All right, let's talk about these others haven't been obvious.

This one's obvious.

About your wife's cell phone.

Have you noticed?

Oh,

here we go.

Frankie with a cell phone.

Unbelievable, Frankie.

It's like women can't use technology if they're cheating on you.

Anything different in the way that she's being guarded towards that phone?

Where before her phone was laying out on the counter.

When you go out to a restaurant or a bar, that phone is laying on the bar top or the tabletop, not hiding anything, didn't care.

All of a sudden, she sticks it in her vagina.

It's like contraband in a jail.

It's like she's smuggling drugs through Mexico.

Oh my God, Frankie.

I mean, I really am.

Put your phone on the table.

I need to see your phone right now.

I need to see your phone right now.

I'm sorry.

Who are you?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm Frankie B.

I'm Frankie B.

I'm your fine date.

I don't have a mind date.

Oh, you don't?

You do now.

Is that dick on your breath?

Sorry, just trying to keep you on your toes.

I'm a cheating ninja.

I know when women are cheating.

I wish Frank could make a cartoon.

Like, Frank is just like jumping all over the walls, like

in the bathroom.

He's like on the holding his hands on the ceiling, and then he just jumps down while you're taking a shit.

And he's like,

Loist your vagina!

Bust your chest!

Busted your ass.

I knew it.

You're changing your routine.

You never shit in the morning.

Who are you fucking?

You're cleaning your bowels for anal sex.

I know it.

That'd probably get us kicked off fireside.

Just as an example, I wanted to throw that out there.

That phone is hidden.

It's in her purse and it's on silent.

Isn't that the respectful thing to do?

Actually,

I don't get it.

I don't get what's going on.

Yeah.

Why?

Why?

You don't want your woman.

You don't want anybody.

Your woman.

I know I sound like Frankie is rubbing off on me.

You don't want anybody.

I mean, listen, leaving your phone out on the table with the down over to the side is appropriate, right?

But if you have a purse, if I had a purse, I'd put it there.

Yeah, wow.

And with it on silence.

Frankie's so afraid of getting cheated that he needs to see what's going on 24 hours a day.

He's got your phone right now.

Yeah, this guy, I mean, the therapy bill this guy must have is huge.

He doesn't go to therapy, though.

He probably thinks he's fine.

He's giving self-he's teaching the rest of the world how to be just as paranoid as he is instead of realizing that maybe he's taking a little bit over the edge he's making other people feel exactly like he was so they fit his moody see told you everyone else feels the same way too

you're just a crazy seventh wife so moody so moody

with all your feelings and emotions and vaginas yeah stop bleeding everywhere okay

go somewhere else

going on why is that all of a sudden does it make sense i don't even have to tell you another word because you already get it but we're still gonna talk about it

i have to say another word but i literally can't shut up

we're still gonna talk about it

since i was born i literally can't shut up it's a problem

yada you found a youtube outlet

oh 1600 people She's doing that because she's expecting a text from her significant other.

If she's got a code, if she's got a code on that phone, a lockout code to her, she never had it before.

Come on, guys.

Whoa, they come like that.

Yeah, they did.

They come like that.

That's not her.

That's Apple.

Oh, my God.

That's not her cheating.

That's T-Mobile.

She's testing her significant other.

She's tested on a man.

That's Verizon.

She's not cheating.

She's paying her ATT bill.

I mean, come on, what the fuck?

oh Lord Frankie

open your eyes call her out on that ask her why all of a sudden there's a lockout code well in case

it I want to make sure no one getting my information no problem give me the lockout code

first of all it's not called a lockout code what are you talking about

What are you working in jail?

The lockout code.

Sounds like an 80s movie where they're, you know, they're projecting technology in the future.

What's the three units for the lockout code?

The world's going to blow up unless we have the lockout code.

It's one, one,

two, two,

three.

I can't even imagine dating this guy.

I mean, seriously, I would be like, whoa.

I mean, get your phone out of your purse now and give me the lockout code.

Yeah, I want your lockout code.

We just met.

I know, but you're cheating on me if you don't.

But I know, but we're on the first phone call.

I know, but I want to write it down just in case.

I'm the cheating ninja.

I'm looking in your window right now.

I just see Frankie like sticking to the window.

Frankie with his shirt off.

She says that's like pressed body pressed up against the window.

Busting your ass.

I'm getting her lockout code.

She won't give it to you, or she'll give it to you, and she'll change it again.

So she's

heavily guarded with this.

Super heavily guarded.

Fort Knox is super heavily guarded.

The phone lockout card.

He's giving a lot of jail signals.

Oh, my God.

I know.

Guarded, bust her ass out.

Super heavily guarded.

He's been to the super.

Lockout code.

That's right.

Oh, my God, Frankie.

Chill out, dude.

And she's never on it when she's anywhere around you.

Think about that.

The number one giveaway is is a woman with that cell phone.

So, guys, that's it, man.

That's all I got for you.

Wow, I learned a whole bunch of nothing.

I think you should do the opposite.

I feel so impressed.

Let's see if he says, smash that like button one more time.

That's my favorite thing he says.

I do got more.

But that's for

proper English.

This is the King's English right there.

I do got more.

So smash that like button.

We covered five secret tips to get your wife.

Secret tips.

Secret tips.

This wisdom has been passed down from cheating ninja to cheating ninja.

I'm the sixth generation of cheating ninja in my family.

We have caught all of our wives cheating on us.

The curse of Bernardos.

The curse of those cheating Bernardos

has been passed out.

Ancient Chinese wisdom from Bernardo to Bernardo.

How to catch your wife cheating on you?

Because you know she is.

I can imagine if I was married to you, I'd be cheating too.

Yeah, Frankie.

I'd be cheating just to make him try and do all this stuff.

I know.

It's just fun at this point.

Yeah, let's see if he asks you for my lockout code.

I'd hire my own YouTube crew.

Let's watch Frankie as he asks for the lockout code.

He unravels.

As he comes unglued.

A real-time experiment to watch a man literally lose his shit.

Let's watch him ask for the lockout code for the 43rd time tonight.

Can I have your lockout code?

No.

Please?

No.

Can I guess it?

No.

If I get it the first number right, will you tell me?

No.

I'll take care of you financially.

No.

I'm just a hooker.

I'm only here for the night.

You don't need my lockout code.

Go on that trip you've been planning.

You know what you should do?

Get out.

Get out.

You know what you should do?

Leave.

My favorite is if your wife changes a routine, like if the moving truck is up front when you wake up.

No.

Cheating on you.

Again, you know, guys, when we get into our age, we get a little bit complacent.

We take our wives for granted.

We're not always looking at things.

I think it's just time to open your eyes.

A little homework assignment for you guys.

Oh, homework from Frankie.

I'm going to do it.

I'll see if it works.

Guys, when she comes home tonight, tomorrow, whatever you see her.

Tomorrow.

Just whenever you see her next.

Next time you see her.

When the restraining order is lifted.

When the judge lets you see her again.

Just whenever you see your wife again.

Just do this.

Assault her again with your verbal abuse.

Start thinking about the things I talked about.

Just look.

Just observe.

I'm going to be like this with Asperby.

She's going to be like, what's that look?

I'm going to to be like, cheating ninja.

Ancient Chinese secret.

Ancient cheating wisdom from the Bernardo family.

I'm looking at your lockout code.

Got me thinking.

It's got me thinking.

Dick on your breath.

Derb.

And if one of the five fall into place, it's like, okay.

If two of the five fall into place, it's like,

okay.

Right?

And if three are there,

I think you got her.

Today's video.

If you liked it or you thought this information was pretty darn good, smash that like button.

Smash that like button.

Oh my God.

Who is he?

Logan Paul now?

Come on, Frankie.

You have to hit that subscribe bell.

And guys are always.

Bell.

Subscribe bell.

What's that?

What?

It's a button.

It's not a bell, Frankie.

Back to the jail room.

Yeah, I know.

I bet bet Frankie has a bell at his house that he rings every time a new subscriber comes.

He's like, ding!

I got another one!

And his neighbors are like, we don't care.

Go fuck yourself, Frankie.

Stop looking through my window.

You can't have my wife's lockout code.

Just want you to remember one thing.

Uh-oh, another thing.

He never ends.

He just never ends.

He just keeps on going.

Guys over 50, we're not dead.

We're just getting started.

Oh, you're getting started getting dead.

What was that creepy laugh?

I'm Frankie B.

The cheating ninja.

Just getting started.

This is the song I think of whenever I hear Frankie B.

Ready?

I bet we could just

take Frankie for a couple days around his apartment and just fast forward and play this

that's a good way oh my god Frankie you are honestly you are my best friend buddy you just I just get endless amounts of entertainment out of you that's great I don't know what else I can say.

I don't know what else to do.

It should also be noted that that is the longest episode in commercial break history.

Not the longest day.

That was Saturday.

But the longest episode.

Clocking in it almost two hours long.

So very early on in the show's history, we had two hours of Frankie B material.

You can never claim I don't know a good thing when I hear one.

And you can also never claim that I don't beat a dead horse because I do all the time.

Settle down, not a real dead horse.

I mean, not unless the horse was dead already, then the horse isn't gonna feel it, right?

I don't know.

Anyway, I'm opining, because I'm still a little stir-crazy, from putting out 12 episodes.

Go listen to them, TCB's Endless Day.

They're all in your inbox.

And don't worry, TCB's next stupid stunt is right around the corner.

Lest you think Brian is out of really bad ideas, I have a ton of bad ideas.

And I'll tell you just right before I tell Chrissy.

We'll be back tomorrow with a new episode, but you know what to do.

Go to tcbpodcast.com.

All the audio, all the video, right there at one location.

Also, get your free TCB Endless Day sticker.

Go to the Contact Us page, hit the drop-down menu, says I want my free sticker, send us your address, and we will send you one.

At the Commercial Break on Instagram, please please follow us.

TCB Podcast on TikTok and youtube.com/slash the commercial break for all of the episodes, including TCB's Endless Day on video.

And one last thing: if you're feeling froggy, 212-433-3822.

That's 212-433-3 TCB.

Not 1-888 call TCB because John in Iowa has that phone number.

Fuck you, John, and fuck the dead horse you rode in on.

All right, cats and kittens, until tomorrow.

I love you.

Best to you.

And until next time, I will say, I do say, and I must say, goodbye.

Parents of tweens, if you're familiar with far-off drop-offs,

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For most, HPV clears on its own.

But for those who don't clear the virus, it can cause certain cancers later in life.

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Help protect them in the next.

Ask their doctor today about HPV vaccination.

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Good night, itchy eyes.

Good night, sudden sneeze.

Good night to your symptoms of allergies.

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It provides powerful relief while you rest your head.

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Remember, be wise all.

Take Zizole at night.

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