Sailing On Noah's Ark!

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The next episode of the commercial break is coming up soon.

But first, I wanted to tell you a little story.

The year was 2000 and something.

My 12th child had just been born.

It was late at night.

I was feeding her, and she lovingly looked into my eyes and said, Daddy, you're so very handsome.

And I thought to myself, I will never know love like this again.

And the only thing that could make this moment better would be a sweet blue and white trucker hat with an embroidered Commercial Break logo on it.

And now, many years later, I've made that dream come true.

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Hello, my name is Paul.

Thank you very much for taking my call.

I have tried to find your home since you tried to block my calls on your cell phone

I'll be your friend

I'm your guy I'll be your laundry bowler if you just buy

Here's the deal I'll sell it all

I'm a black belt in the art of the cold call

Rang you once, rang you twice

Showed up at your office, he is my advice

Please don't run,

don't try and stall

You can't resist the power of Coco Paul.

Cold

Paul

Cole Cole Paul

Cole Cole Paul

Cole

Paul

I've tried so hard, I've been so kind

I've driven by your office 20 times

I followed you on Instagram.

I even sent your wife a stripogram.

Code call

Code Call

Code Call

Code Call

Code Call Hawk.

Kung Fu Sales Code Call.

He is on a road!

Call, Paul!

Code, call,

call!

On this episode of the Commercial Break,

get below this deck, Noah, service my yacht engine!

All due respect to my wife, of course.

She actually asked her to be like, What?

How does it go?

Yeah, good luck with that, bro.

I've been there, done that.

Good luck.

Been there, done that.

Don't need the t-shirt.

Thanks anyway.

Tell Noah, good luck.

He farts in his sleep.

Get out of there after sex.

See you later.

Do Alipa would be like, Did you shower today?

The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

Oh, yeah, cats and kittens.

Welcome back to the commercial break.

I'm Brian Green.

This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris and Joy Holy.

Best of you, Chris and you, Brian.

Best of you out there on the podcast universe.

How the hell are you?

Thanks for joining us.

My new

reality show obsession is Will You Be My First?

Are You My First?

A brand new show from the folks at Disney Hulu, the family-friendly show about 36 virgins.

Is it on that?

Yeah, it's on Hulu.

It's on Hulu.

They're all, everyone looking to get fucked on Disney's Island.

Oh, my God.

Ah, Disney.

I love Disney.

I just love Disney with all my heart.

And they took a left turn at Albuquerque.

We're betting.

We're gambling.

We're having sex.

We got aliens destroying people in bloody, the bloodiest scenes of television I've ever seen in my entire life.

And now we got 36 virgins all competing for the dick.

I love it.

Alleged virgins.

Allegedly.

Allegedly virgins.

Yeah, how do you know?

What is it?

Hyman check?

I mean, what do you do?

You can't do that.

Yeah.

And even a hymen isn't a for-sure way to check.

I mean, first of all, that's.

Well, and what about the guys?

That's like crass.

Well, the guys.

That's easy.

I think that one's easy.

Do you listen to Alex Jones?

Virgin.

There you go.

Done.

All right, check your history.

There it is.

You got it.

No, there's no way to verify that information.

And I guarantee the producers aren't looking to verify that information.

And what's happening on the island?

They're deflowering each other?

Well,

all of them have their varied reasons for being virgins.

One girl says it's a power move that she believes in.

And by the way, nothing wrong with being a virgin.

More power to you.

God bless America.

I don't give a shit.

What do I care?

It's not bothering me one bit.

But this is meant to hook up fellow virgins to then have sex.

This is really the premise, right?

I think at the end of the day, yes, they're hoping that a few people lose their virginity.

The one.

Are you my first, right?

I think they're hoping that a few people get deflowered on the show.

It makes for good television.

Everyone's rooting for everyone to get laid on these shows anyway.

Love Island, Bachelor, Bachelorette.

That's, you know, the overnights are really what everybody

on Disney Plus.

This episode's sponsored by D Plus.

You're going to have to change your name like HBO Skinamax Plus or whatever they're calling it now.

This is, this is just, wow.

You know that TLC for a short period of time recently had that show.

I'm going to move this table just a little bit.

If you need to, if you need to move it to you, feel free.

TLC for a very short amount of time had that television show like Virgin, the Virgins, or whatever it was called.

Okay.

It only lasted for about four episodes.

And then the fifth episode, they just wrapped it up really quickly with a quick synopsis of, I guess, they took the last six episodes and just kind of put little.

That's like that other show we were watching about all the polygamy.

Yeah, but there's a reason behind that.

I got, I understood that.

I think this was just bad ratings.

Or maybe they figured out that no one really was a virgin.

They just wanted to be on television.

Yeah.

But they had it on.

And I don't know that it's all that fascinating that someone is a virgin.

Like, okay, but the varied reasons can be fascinating.

Like one girl, power move.

I believe there's power in giving sex.

I believe there's power in withholding sex.

And I'm looking to keep that power in my corner.

Cool.

All right.

Girl boss move.

Got it.

10-4.

I don't know who loses in that proposition, the people you would have sex with, or you, because sex is quite frankly pleasurable.

It's one of those things.

It's one of the, I don't know, it's up there.

It's got to be up there, right?

Yeah, for sure.

Heroin, crystal meth, a new episode of the commercial break, losing your virginity.

On heroin.

On heroin.

And crystal meth.

While listening to the commercial.

Best podcast to have sex, too.

Yeah, it used to be.

But the varied reasons, I get that we can get into the stories.

Like, some people obviously have a religious spin on it, though I highly question whether or not someone with real religious convictions would be on television, right?

On an island with

18 beautiful bodies.

trying to resist the temptation.

I don't know.

Maybe.

Some people just never had an opportunity to.

One girl's afraid of penises.

She's just afraid of penises.

She just doesn't like them.

She says, I don't like them.

I don't want that in me, but I got to get over it.

So

this is all very interesting to me.

I've now watched about an episode and a half of it.

It is very much like the Bachelor, Bachelorette, Love Island kind of vibe going on.

Okay.

And the host is Colton Underwood, the guy who was the famous virgin on The Bachelorette that one season.

And so there's a lot of dick jokes.

There's a lot of virginity puns.

It's really terrible writing.

What are they doing?

Challenges.

Oh, okay.

Challenges.

They put them on the island.

They booze them up, obviously, right?

That's a good way to get everyone to get laid.

Booze them up if that's what they're going to do.

But then I don't know because

I've only seen a little bit of it.

There's 10 episodes, but they put them through the paces.

Like, hey, we want you to give a sensual massage to this person.

And then if you get your V card, you are allowed to stay.

If you fall in love, if you couple up, you can stay.

Otherwise, kicked off the island.

And they'll bring new virgins in when some people lose their V card.

You know what I'm saying?

So there you go.

And I'm assuming if you get laid, you're off the island.

I don't know.

Are they incentivizing the wrong person?

Oh, right.

I don't know.

If you get laid, you should be able to stay.

Like, the person who's having the most sex should be the king of the crop, right?

King of the island.

How many virgins can you deflower?

Should be the question.

That should be the ultimate goal here.

And I'm in it.

I'm in it to win it.

I'll see.

Listen, Aliens Earth only comes out once a week.

And King of the Hill, so far, good.

Not great.

Only three episodes in.

There's like 12 of them.

I'll keep you posted.

But Aliens Earth, very good.

But episode number three was a bit...

Like we kind of just went in circles a little bit and got to nothing.

A lot of slow motion shots of the creatures.

There's not only one alien, there's five different aliens, five separate species of aliens that have been captured on a deep space research vessel and crashed into Earth.

They left Earth 65 years ago.

They crashed back into Earth because they have these aliens that got loose.

And fascinating, but episode three was not my favorite.

One and two started off really strong.

And then three, I felt like we took a step backwards a little bit.

And

maybe I'm misunderstanding some of the plot.

But anyway, I'm keeping up with it.

And I'll let you know.

I'm in it now.

I'm in in it.

Yeah, once you start it, it's hard to stop.

And I just wanted to share with you that I do believe there is going to be

another season of Fargo, and that will be the last season, is what I've heard.

So, yes.

Anyway, that's what I heard on a podcast with someone who had starred in a previous Fargo season.

I would love that.

Yeah, listen, I'm all in it.

That Noah Wiley can keep out Noah, not Wiley, Wally, Noah, Howley, Howley, Howie, Howley.

How are you talking about?

The guy who's

like the executive producer, the showrunner for all of these shows.

Noah Wiley was in the pit.

Noah Wiley is in the pit, which was my next point.

They're filming the next

season of the pit.

It's a great show.

And so I saw a clip from like the Directors Guild of America, and they were,

it was like a three-minute clip where they were talking to three of the directors of Pitt Season One about what it's like to direct an episode of the Pit.

And they were explaining that it is so highly detailed and they're so involved.

Yeah, I can imagine.

That they need it to look so realistic.

They want it to look so realistic.

That everyone has a storyline, even the background characters.

They have their own storylines, their own purposes.

When they're moving behind the camera, they're moving with purpose.

Like they're going to get blood.

They're going to clean this up.

They're going to check in more people.

And that all hundred people that are on the set at any given time time to make sure that the background is covered when they're turning the cameras quick, all of those people have to work at the same time, take bathroom breaks at the same time, eat at the same time, wear like some filming, some sets.

You might have three actors in the scene with two background actors, and then the rest of the cast is off doing whatever, and then they come back when their call time is.

It's like, and this show is unique in the sense that so many people are on set at any given time, all with storylines, all with characters, all with points of view.

And I just am fascinated by this this show.

I think it's so fucking well done.

I agree.

I agree.

I'm glad you turned me on to it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

And then I finished it before you.

Yeah.

How did that happen?

I don't know.

Yeah, you did finish it before I did.

And I think you ruined one of the episodes for me.

Thanks.

But I don't care because it was so beautifully acted.

I hope they don't lose any of this, Mad.

I hope they don't have that sophomore slump like some shows do, you know, where it's like, season one's so good.

Your expectations are so high.

And then you get into season number two and you're like,

was it as good as I remember it?

Is it really as good as I I remember it?

Sometimes though, the second season's better.

True.

Because then everybody's caught on.

Coagulated together.

They're all together.

And so many questions.

Is the drug addict doctor, is he going to be allowed back in the building to do his work?

Is the nurse, like the head nurse, is she going to come back and do another shift?

Right, because she was out of there.

She was gone.

She got punched and she was resigned to leave.

I'm sorry, we're spoiling this all for you if you haven't seen it, but catch up quick because season two is is going to be out before you know it.

You need to watch the pit unless you, of course, you are very queasy.

In that case, do not watch the pit because it is highly detailed.

And that's what makes the show fascinating to me is that there's not a lot of extra baggage or drama in this show.

There are that's what I hope does not happen, that they add in all of these, you know,

these two fell in love.

These two fell in love and there's a love triangle and

this, that, and the other.

It seems, it seems good the way it is right now.

Correct.

And one of them comes down with a mysterious disease.

Then another doctor solves the problem in one episode.

And then what is it so original and unique about this?

And I know this is like they're being sued by Michael Crichton's estate for being the ER, essentially.

But I don't ever remember, and I only watched maybe two hours of ER total.

I don't ever remember ER being this good, ever.

I know it had details, but it became a big fucking soap opera.

It did.

You didn't really, the medical, what was going on in the rooms took a back seat to what was going on in some third-rate, you know, love story that, yes, is interesting to some people, but just that's why I don't like medical dramas.

With House maybe being the exception to that.

Yeah, the drug addict doctor who didn't, like.

Nurse Jackie was good.

I didn't watch Nurse Jackie, but maybe that's because I had been turned off to medical dramas.

But what I like about The Pit is it's ultra-realism.

And then it's one day you start the shift with the doctor at 8 a.m.

Yeah, and then you leave with him.

I think they did that.

It was just 10 hours later.

Each an hour.

Yes.

You leave with him 10 hours later, or in this case, a little bit later because of something that happens during the episode.

But you leave with him and every hour is tick by tick.

It's notch by notch.

A patient comes in with a problem.

You're there solving that problem.

Even if that problem takes three hours, he's going to be there in the next episode while they work through it.

So it's like an actual shift at an actual ER with all the realities of working in an ER.

The, you know, the assholes who come in who don't believe in science, the, all of it, everything.

Yep.

Yep.

Angry people, the tracheotomies.

I remember that.

There were a lot of them.

A lot of tracheotomies going on.

Yes.

A lot of people are getting their throats cut open.

And I started watching it like right after I got my throat cut open.

And it started to bother me a little bit.

I was like, oh, yeah.

But I stuck it through.

And then,

what else can we say about Noah Wiley?

I mean, fantastic.

Where has he been all my life?

Yeah, because

what was the other thing?

And I don't know why I'm drawing a blank on what he was in.

ER.

He was in ER.

That's right.

Okay.

And then

what was the other medical show?

Came out around the same time.

Jacob's Crossing.

No, not Jacob's Crossing.

Jacob's Ladder was a fucked up movie.

No, it's.

Anyways, okay, but he was ER.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, yeah.

And then what happened in between?

We don't know.

We don't know, but he was on many, many seasons of ER.

He was there for, if I'm not mistaken, he was there for a long time.

Let's look that up real quick.

I know which.

Yeah, I watched ER for like the first few years and then I stopped.

Noah Wiley.

Noah Wiley, a bit older than you and I.

In his career, he looks great.

I wish

95 to 2005.

He was on ER

90 for 10 years.

He went on from 90 to 94.

90 to 94, he was on some, he was in the movie A Few Good Men.

Okay.

And some other stuff that you may or may not have heard of.

And then he got cast

in Michael Crichton's executive produced by Steven Spielberg, ER.

He also was in Friends

or somebody wanted him for Friends.

But so he was in ER for 10 years?

10 years, 95 to 2005 is what it says here.

Wow, that's a long time.

And then 20 years later, comes back to another

medical show.

He plays a great doctor.

He was the final original cast member to leave.

2006 to 2000.

Gray's anatomy, that's the other medical thing.

I was thinking of.

Yes, you're right about that.

So then, yeah, and then 2024,

he pops up on the pit.

Just a brilliant, all-round brilliant performance.

And he's an executive director and writer on that show, too.

And so I just can't rave enough about this show.

To me, there are shows that like hit you right in the fucking giggle box.

And then there are shows that hit you right in the heartstrings.

And then there are shows.

And then there are shows that are just fucking interesting.

And this.

happens to be all of those things

combined.

There are funny human moments.

There are certainly moments that led me to a cheer or two.

Yeah, for sure.

Yeah, it's fascinating.

It is.

It's fascinating.

So go watch The Pit, season two.

It's coming up.

I don't know when, but I hope it's not too long.

If we can just get one episode of The Pit in between

the incredibly popular release of Stranger Things, Thanksgiving, and New Year's, like the three Thanksgiving Christmas.

Do you think it'll come out again this year?

I don't know.

It doesn't seem like it seems like a hard show to direct to get all those people to do that and film every scene.

It seems very hard and the continuity that is needed, but I think they do a lot of those in one take.

What I'm hoping is, because it's a lot of one takes, that they can flip it around really quickly.

Oh, demand right here, the commercial, right?

I need my Noah Wiley.

I've got a half heart.

I need a full raging hard on for Noah Wiley.

Trake me.

Trake me, Noah.

Trake me.

I am in love with another man, and his name is Noah Wiley, and he could be my doctor any day of the week.

If Noah Wiley walked in,

if, you know, I told my story about how I got a vasectomy and the world's four most beautiful nurses decided to come in and prep my cock.

And thank God I was on laughing gas and just threw, I just decided that pride was not a part of anything that I needed to be concerned about.

If Noah Wiley came in, I'd stand at attention, sir.

I would have prepped myself.

I would have been like, no, no, no, Noah.

No, it's beneath you.

Let me touch my own micro penis.

They needed four nurses because one had to hold the microscope.

The other one had a monocle.

And the third had to take a TikTok for that.

Those are micro penises of the world account.

And it was the fourth that put iodine on and shaved me.

Okay, but Noah would.

No, sir.

This is beneath Astrid know about Noah?

About your love for Noah.

Astrid could not stomach a medical drama like this.

No way, no how.

There are dying children.

There's a lot of stuff that Astrid would just be too anxiety-riddled with.

She just doesn't like those type of television shows where it gets her anxious.

But I'm not going to introduce her to Noah.

It's not going to happen.

She's got another.

So far, I've got Dua Lipa and Noah on your lips.

Dua Lipa and Noah.

If they could be my doctor and my nurse for my next next vasectomy, I would have

oh, that Dua Lipa is taking some time off after her concert, and I follow her on Instagram.

I'm always like, damn, a day in the life of Dua Lipa.

Not only is she obviously a very physically attractive woman, not as pretty as my wife, but you know, I don't think Astrid would argue with me.

She's a physically attractive woman, but she's just living the lunch.

Oh, yeah, she totally is.

She's out there in a Biza.

Good for her.

Parts of Spain.

Stew it up, girl.

Parts of Spain that I could only afford for two months in 2023.

For a lunch.

For a lunch.

That's right.

She is just living the life.

Good for her.

You know, she's got all these people around her that seem to love her.

She really does seem to be having just a great time with it.

And people love her.

You know, she's got great.

I was telling Gustavo, Gustavo and I were talking about this in Naples and we were out one night.

He says, you really like Dua Lipa, huh?

And I said, man, her fucking,

I thought she was attractive the first time I saw her.

But when I saw her, she was doing like a tiny desk concert or something.

One of those stripped down,

I don't know if it was tiny desk, but it was like a stripped down acoustic.

And she was singing one of her songs, you know,

and I thought, wow, not only is this girl attractive, but this is a jam.

And then I saw her play.

I can't think of the theater in London, Royal Albert Hall.

She played Royal Albert Hall, and they filmed it for Netflix or for Amazon, one of the two.

And then I watched that a couple of months later, and she's amazingly talented.

And her music is a vibe.

It's a whole thing.

I like it.

I'm all about it.

Dua Lipa, Noah Wiley, Threesome, Brian, Dua Lipa, Noah Wiley.

There you go.

On our private yacht in the Mediterranean.

Just sucking and fucking all the time.

On the below deck.

Below deck.

Get below this deck, Noah.

Service my yacht engine.

All due respect to my wife, of course.

She actually asked her to be like, What?

Good luck with that, bro.

I've been there, done that.

Good luck.

Been there, done that.

Don't need the t-shirt.

Thanks anyway.

Tell Noah, good luck.

He farts in his sleep.

Get out of there after sex.

See you later.

Dua Lipa would be like, did you shower today?

Sanitizer?

I could see Dua Lipa's assistant running over, like, sanitizer?

No, no, no, no.

No, thanks.

No.

Sanitizer.

The whole thing.

All over.

All right, let's take a break.

Oh,

listen, you guys reacted so positively to Cold Call Paul.

You got so excited that we did it.

I've got part three and four lined up.

Why not?

Let's just have a fun.

Let's just have fun this week.

It's a week we're getting back into work after we had to take the week off last week from coming back from our vacation.

So we're still recovering from our

third summer vacation.

We'll be back with Cold Call Paul.

Hey there, cats and kittens.

It's Rachel.

I have a terrible cold, but Brian wanted me to pass along the message that TCB's exclusive merch drop happens Friday, August 8th through the 22nd.

You can pre-order your limited edition commercial break, hat, hoodie, university sweater, or t-shirts and get an exclusive TCB sticker free with every purchase.

Go to shoptcbpodcast.com Friday, August 8th through the 22nd to pre-order your merch because when the window closes, it closes for good.

So mark it on your calendars Friday, August 8th through the 22nd, shop tcbpodcast.com.

Now I'm going to go take some dayquil and feed Axel more pork chops.

Best to you.

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Hello, it's Lena Dunham.

I host a podcast called The Sea Word with my dearest friend and historian of bad behavior, Alyssa Bennett.

What is up?

It's a chat show about women whose society is called crazy.

We're going to be rediscovering the stories of women society dismissed by calling them mad, sad, or just plain bad.

Listen to and follow the C-Word with Lena Dunham and Alyssa Bennett.

Available now, wherever you get your podcasts.

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All right, so yesterday, as you're listening to this, we were having some fun with Cold Call Paul, who we had found back in, I think, season three.

Yeah.

If I'm not mistaken, I remember we were sitting at the table earlier

and we went through like a little run.

Power table.

Power table.

Power bottom.

We went through a little run, maybe three, four different

videos of Paul doing live cold calls that he was recording, putting on YouTube.

And man, was it funny?

Because he would just, he was pretty bad at it, first of all, but he was pretty persistent, second of all.

And then people would be like, well, listen, I'll let you go and I'll give you a call back if I need anything.

And Paul would be like, What do you say if I don't hear from you by Wednesday?

I'll call you next month.

And they'd be like, Yeah, sure, whatever.

And he'd be like, See, that's a close.

Yeah.

They wanted to hear back from me.

That's a close.

So Paul was kind of patting his stats a little bit, in my opinion

so we got back to it yesterday go listen to that episode if you want we came upon a series of videos he did this is about three years ago that by the way a series of videos he did where he is highlighting that he has now gotten on board with the social media sales strategy or what he's calling the martial arts of social media sales

roundhouse kick roundhouse kick to the social medias um roundhouse kick to facebook

but he'll leave it before those customers That's right.

If he finds his customers are on a platform, he'll leave it before they do.

So we don't understand exactly what Paul is saying.

We think that this is just a lot of buzzwords strung together to make it sound like he's giving you some kind of information.

The problem with Paul, like a lot of other people that are self-help type people or gurus or sales consultants that are on the internet, and Frankie B falls victim to this, as does

Paulie Kaushikushis and the Puas.

The Puas.

That's right.

They all talk in circles, but they never give you any details.

They never give you an example.

They never show you.

They're not instructive.

They're just,

it's just verbal diarrhea.

It's a lot like the episode of the commercial break, only we promise it.

We don't make any promises you're going to learn anything.

No.

You probably figured that out a long time ago.

So let's get into, we did one and two.

uh yesterday and so let's do three and we'll see if we can get to four we're just going to have some fun this week and and play with our good buddy cold call paul because i'm this is another one of those

i have to say it really is so if you're listening and it's likely you'll you'll know that you're on these videos if you're listening this isn't because we don't love you we do love you actually we make fun because we love we know that you're hustling and as i said yesterday at the end of our little you know review of the videos a little breakdown of the videos

i have mad respect for anybody who's trying to make content hustle

whatever your gig is whatever your game is, as long as you're not hurting other people, I have mad respect for you.

I don't see you hurting anybody else.

You're not selling anything particularly.

He's selling his own services.

Maybe, but when I say you're not selling anything, I mean you're literally not selling anything.

But at the end of the day, I don't see that you're harming anybody.

You're like a Frankie beat.

You're like the sales frankie beat.

And it strikes a chord with us because we met while we were working in a sales environment and had quite a few of these type people come in.

That's right.

I could easily see Cold Call Paul walking into a clear channel in 2008 and giving us this same information where we would leave with the same lack of knowledge.

All right.

So number three, here we go.

Let's see what Paul has to say.

Excited for this.

Check it out, guys.

Oh, he's in jeans now.

Okay, so we went from...

Yesterday he was wearing like

tactical pants or something,

dockers, khakis.

Oh, Black.

He had a hat on in the first one.

Hat and long hair.

Then he showed up with no hat and short hair

and black, like military pants, essentially, with a lot of pockets in it.

And now he's got a black.

Now he's got my dad's outfit on.

Yeah, that is a

that is a suburban dad outfit.

Something.

Jeans and like a button-down long-sleeve shirt.

Something your dad would show up to like dinner on a patio in the middle of August in Atlanta, Georgia with.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, dad, why don't you wear a short?

And that belt, I gotta tell you, Paul, it's time for a new belt.

Yeah, because when it wraps around you twice, it's probably

big.

He has lost weight.

Yeah, all right, let's listen.

Series on my exciting social media investment strategy: how to get qualified leads through my system and my strategy and convert those leads into sales is very, very exciting.

Is that the title?

How to get qualified leads on social media's strategy.

My strategy, very, very exciting platforms, all social media platforms.

Leads.

Part three is how to get qualified leads on all of your platforms.

I love his eyes dark back and forth.

I know it is.

He's maybe reading something.

Yeah, he's maybe reading something and there's someone there.

Right.

But he looks like the Cheshire, like, he looks like he just ate a bird.

You know what I'm saying?

He's trying to get away with something.

He's like, what bullshit can I put here?

More importantly, how to convert those qualified leads into sales.

Okay, now here's where we're going to get to the meat and potatoes, right?

Yes.

Right?

Right?

Right.

Right?

All right.

We're going for it on this one.

We've put up with one and two.

Can we get to three?

Yeah.

But by the way, he said how to convert social media leads into sales.

And then he says, and this is where I teach you how to convert social media leads into sales.

Very exciting.

Now for the introduction.

Okay, you don't have to announce it, it just happens.

Very exciting.

Why does he walk away?

See you later.

I'm going to not do the introduction because it's very loud and it gives me a headache.

Okay.

Check it out, guys.

Welcome to the martial arts of sales.

This is part three of a five-part series on how to use my

way.

On the title of this video on YouTube, in case you want to go watch it yourself on YouTube, it says part 15.

Whoops.

Whoops.

Social media video.

Maybe he meant to put one/slash five and it came up as one.

Christmas strategy to help you accomplish three things.

One, getting qualified leads.

Number two, converting those leads into sales.

And number three, more importantly, increasing your monthly cash flow.

I love increasing.

I'm a big fan of Increasing.

Isn't that what it's all about?

Yes.

Yes.

Before we get into the topic.

I could see us in in the back of the room.

Yes.

Get to it.

Please get into it.

Please.

Braves game at four for free bar tab.

You're watching this on YouTube.

Please hit the subscribe button below.

If you like this video, smash the like button.

Do share with me.

These boomers got to stay.

Stop saying smash that like bar.

It's not a bar.

It's a thumbs up.

And I do appreciate.

constructive feedback.

Now, okay.

Well, then you'll appreciate the last three episodes of the commercial

As he's standing further back, too, I have to say that those pants do not fit him.

Those are like pantaloons.

Like ballooned out.

Pantaloons?

What's that?

That's my favorite kind of pants.

Part three.

How to get qualified leads on your social media platforms.

I love, love, love.

There's nothing that I love.

If you listen to the show, then you'll know it.

And I think Chrissy will agree with me wholeheartedly on this one.

There is nothing more exciting.

There is nothing that gets my pickle and a tickle more than someone showing up to a meeting with a whiteboard or a PowerPoint that has the words you're about to say written on it.

Here's one of the things that I'll classic move.

Classic move.

That's a power move right there.

I'm a power director.

When you walk in the door with a PowerPoint with every word you're about to say written out on it, I say, this guy, he's got the balls of a beluga.

He's going to sell me on a billion-dollar service.

The bloodline of every business, whether you're a startup company or an existing business of 20 years, the bottom line is this.

Qualify leads that turn into customers, right?

That's what it is overall.

I'm pretty sure it's revenue, but okay, all right.

And if you're able to consistently do both of those things, guess what happens?

Your monthly cash flow increases, your annual revenue increases, the profits is depending on your expenses.

And bottom line, whatever your investment is, you're looking to get a high return on your investment.

It's very simple business.

I call it the seven pillars of but wait, why a return on your investment?

I don't understand.

A return on your investment?

I'm not getting it.

Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know.

Maybe your time investment.

Yeah, hey, listen, time investment.

I can understand that one.

But those who are on social media,

the most important thing you need to know.

And there are just a few of those.

It's a niche market.

It's a niche market.

But if you're going to go there, let me tell you:

is this, that there's a lot of opportunities right now to increase your revenue.

Okay.

Okay.

Following you.

The problem I see, and I've

identified a problem

run into, is that people don't like to do the grunt work.

The drunt work?

The drunt work.

I hate doing the drunt work.

I'm just a lonely drunt over here in my drunty job.

What I call the important work.

Why?

Because we're so used to everything fast.

We want everything automated.

We're not very patient people anymore.

We want instant gratification.

For me, I avoid that.

Me too.

That's why I hereby call for no Wiley and Dua Liba to be on my yacht tomorrow.

What I try to do is use the technology that's available to me.

and complement with what I'm used to doing.

And that is cold calling.

That is taking call to action.

That is communicating with people verbally and physically.

Polly.

Hey, Paul, it's 2025.

Physically.

Settle down, buddy.

I know you want to take off that parachute you've got as a pair of jeans.

Get down to action.

But let's slow your roll, buddy.

Slow your roll.

So here's what's happening.

How do you get qualified leads on your social media platform?

Exactly.

Tell us.

Okay, here we go.

I have a feeling he's going to come through with one point.

To me, it's the easiest place to get qualified leads.

Great, let's hear it.

Why do I say that?

Here we go.

Here we go.

I say that because if people are following you and they're liking your content and they're commenting on your content and they're sharing it.

What if people are mostly hating on my content?

How do you convert those people?

Or if you have nobody following you, what if this idiot talks too much?

Why is he sitting like that?

What if those are the type of comments you get?

What better lead can you ask for than that?

But you have to see that.

Because everybody's goal on social media, most everybody, because social media is a long-term play, is to be popular.

Social media is not a long-term play, my friend.

It's a transactional minute and a half at best.

There's no long-term play about social media.

People following you for a long time is good.

That's great.

You want that.

But I don't understand what you mean by long-term play.

Unless Unless you're talking about like constantly feeding content until someone gets engaged in your services.

I guess so.

Like nurturing elite.

People to follow you and comment and share.

Yeah, we've been doing it for five years.

Worked out great for us.

It worked out great.

To be recognized, obviously, branding is important

to be influential.

But that's a long-term play.

In the meantime, what I do is I go after business.

I'm not going to wait for it to come to me.

But I thought you said it.

I don't get it.

I thought you said it's about people

following you and commenting on your content.

I have to build that.

No matter what my past was, no matter how successful I was in the past, this is a different era, a different time, which actually is a better time to accelerate your business.

But there's some fundamental principles you need to know.

You have to go after the business.

If you believe you have something of value, I do.

And it's in a competitive industry, then it's your duty to stick out like a sore thumb.

In other words, I hate stinking out like a sore thumb, but let's go stand out different than your competitors, and you have to go out there and get it, especially if you're a young entrepreneur, a new start of small business, or a young salesperson.

What I mean by young, I mean young in the sales industry.

You gotta go get it after 30 years.

I still go get it, and I still get objections, I still get people doubting what I do.

Where are you going to get it?

And what are you getting?

How?

Step one: post a piece of content relevant to your business.

Step two, boost that piece of content.

Step three, email everybody who engaged in your content.

Step four.

What are you gabbing on here, Paul?

That it doesn't work,

but it does.

Come here to show you that.

Please.

Show.

Show me.

Well, let's get into it.

all right here we go

is

target who your customers will be well you've now said that on all three videos

let's go

here's what i've learned through cold calling you know i used to have automata dollar systems and things like that

what cold calling allows you to do especially on social media is you get to learn to target i love cold calling on social media

Instagram, dial-up dad.

Who you want your customers to be and who you want your followers to be?

How?

Just not how many followers you have.

It's the quality of the followers you have that could potentially become clients and long-term relationship.

That is your job.

That is my job.

Go.

Tell me.

Is it a little bit more work than having automated?

Yes.

Did he say you have an automated dialer before?

Yeah.

it's just automatically dialing just random businesses into

dialings.

Yeah, or you put it into a spring.

I've never had an automatic dialer, though I'm thinking about getting one for the commercial break.

Hi, this is Brian Green from the commercial break.

I got your phone number from a friend.

I'll do the old hello, and then they'll go, hello.

Hi, this is Brian Green from the commercial break.

Recently, we've run into financial issues,

But you can help.

Are you there?

Yes.

Who am I talking to?

This is Brian Green from the commercial break.

Available now on Apple.

Endorsed by none other than Dr.

Phil.

The reputable.

The reputable, the honorable

Dr.

Phil, the honorable Dr.

Phil.

Did you see where Pete Hag Seth and Robert JMK Jr.

were at the gym doing a push-up contest?

I thought to myself, the only thing that rounds this out is Dr.

Oz and Dr.

Phil.

And you've got an episode.

You've got an episode of the Dr.

Phil show.

I can't wait for the UFC fight.

Oh, God.

Should be automated.

Organic is one of the best ways to build your portfolio, increasing your cash flow.

So, when you're able to kind of want to increase my cat flow,

it's the best way to increase your cat flow.

In a position to be automated, you have a combination of both.

Does that make sense?

No.

No.

So, you have to target who you want your customers to be.

Okay.

Okay.

Who I want my customers to be and who they who I want my listeners to be?

Do a Nipa and Dua Lipa and no Wiley

who my listeners are South Georgia Sean and Astrid

I mean I'm trying to kind of follow what he's saying I'm putting trying to say okay okay say I just started say I just started a lawn care company or something like that you know let's go lawn yes okay I'll get it target people with lawns

yeah people in the neighborhood who have lawns and then how do I automate that

I don't know and reach them on the social.

I don't know.

Last time I checked, Google doesn't have a section, people with lawns.

But I'm sure that there are services that offer that kind of advertisement.

Well, and you could if you were doing the advertising part of Facebook and Instagram, but he's saying don't do that.

He's saying don't do that.

You want them to be organic.

So what do you do?

You look for pictures.

I think you actually do need to go call the homes.

Yes, you need to show up at the front door.

Say, hey, will you follow me?

So that I can call on you

later.

I want to stalk you on my Instagram growth strategy for converting sales to leads to sales.

So if you don't mind, can you open up your phone real quick and follow me?

And then comment.

And then comment.

And then I'm going to follow back.

Yes.

And then I'm going to jump off the platform.

Do you have

a phone number that I could call in the future?

Not yet.

We need to build a relationship on social media.

I got to get you to trust me.

Oh, poor people.

Why do I say, who do you want your followers to be?

Because there's a strategy out there called bots.

People buy bots.

There's a strategy out there called bots.

It's just called bots.

That's who I want my followers

to be.

Which strategy is that, Paul?

That's funny.

You pay for a certain amount of dollars for get a certain amount of people to follow you or like you.

For me, I don't like that because it's not genuine.

Of course, you can't call on those bots.

No.

You can try.

Well, bots call on me all the time.

I generally have a service that sends them to spank them.

Yeah, that blocks them.

And me talking to myself.

And there's no business in that.

All it does is inflates your followers to get other real followers.

And you don't think they know that?

So I keep it simple.

I have no followers.

That way you know that I'm real.

My first follower is going to know just how real I am because I have no followers.

I love this.

This is so good.

All right.

Well, listen, let's take a.

There's this giant

called bots.

I'd like to introduce you to my revolutionary sales strategy, bots.

You give them the credit card, they buy up a bunch of your products.

You pay back the credit card, revenue neutral, but sales are through the roof.

It's a commercial breakwave doing business.

Oh my god, that is too good.

That's too good.

Zero out your revenue with my new bot strategy.

Looking for deductions on your taxes?

Have bots buy on your behalf.

There's a new strategy out there.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

That should be

a whole episode in and of itself.

There's a new strategy out there.

I demand that Paul does a video on the strategy of bots.

Sales strategy called bots.

Oh,

all right.

I can see why everyone was in love with part one because it is pretty.

This is pretty fun.

You got it.

I love you, Paul.

I love you.

You want to come on the show?

I'd be happy to hear you out.

I'd be happy to hear you.

Your strategy.

Yeah, I'd be happy to give you a chance to define your sales strategy more in depth.

All right, let's take a break.

We'll be back.

Let me do something Brian has never done.

Be brief.

Follow us on Instagram at the Commercial Break.

Text or call us 212-433-3TCB.

That's 212-433-3822.

Visit our website, tcbpodcast.com, for all the audio, video, and your free sticker.

Then watch all the videos at youtube.com slash thecommercial break.

And finally, share the show.

It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters.

See, Brian, that really wasn't that difficult now, was it?

You're welcome.

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All right, back with Cold Call, Paul.

I had to take a minute to let my cheeks relax for a second.

I was laughing so hard.

Okay, here he is.

He's coming back.

More is not always better.

Less is more quality, is more value.

That's what I've always said.

Less sales is better.

Well, in just my view.

Does that make sense?

So do yourself a favor.

Really think about who you want your customers to be.

who is fit for your services or your products.

That takes thinking.

so that's number one okay number two

I call it discovery research and analyze again I think discovery and research is probably

same thing but all right I'll follow you when you want to target your audience and you want to identify or you have identified who your audience or your customers will be now this is where the work begins you have to discover what they have on social media how is their presence i know i do that that's just creepy Yeah.

Yeah, that's just creepy.

Yeah.

I mean, there will be an occasion, like if someone follows the commercial break, right?

On occasion, not very often, but on occasion, if they have an interesting profile photo, I might go to their profile.

Like I saw, there was someone who followed us, they had cool art one time, right, on their profile photo.

So I went, I saw they had a bunch of other cool art.

So I liked a couple of the photos.

I even commented, hey, you do a commissioned piece.

Like, you know, that's cool art.

But you don't just follow people and then like

stalk them.

Yeah, and I don't, it seems almost like he's talking about business to business.

Yeah.

Okay.

If that's the, if that's what he's talking about.

It doesn't seem like consumer.

So how can you target the consumer without doing, you know, targeted advertising?

Yeah.

And even then, I mean, I've looked at Instagram.

I mean, Facebook does have a pretty, Facebook, which owns Instagram, Meta, they have a pretty in-depth targeting system for Instagram and for Facebook.

You can really dive down into what they like or what what their,

what they may like, like more likely to own a Mercedes-Benz or whatever the deal is.

So, but then again, just go ahead and spend the money and target them with a message that looks good to them.

Why are you going to go through every Instagram profile and stalk them?

Yeah.

It doesn't make much sense.

What do they have?

What do they have?

What they lack.

What do they need?

How do you know that from Instagram?

People don't put, I mean, older people might.

The next door might.

Spotted.

Mexican.

And get in tune with who they are as far as their business.

How long they've been in business.

You know,

he is.

All right.

If it's business to business, then you can understand why he's doing this.

That's part of discovery.

That's part of research.

And once you get that data, you start to analyze.

You know, if these people are...

Can you just go to their website?

Yeah, just go to their website and read the summary page.

That's what I used to do.

And call or email them.

Yeah, that's right.

You know what I used to do?

We put proposals together, and my boss would say, you're going to write a cover page, you know, with a summary of what they do in their business.

I'd go to their homepage.

I'd take their summary paragraph.

I'd rewrite it, and then I'd put it on the proposal.

That's what you do.

Don't worry about all this.

Just take it to the strip club.

The brave.

On Twitter, LinkedIn, whatever the case may be.

Everyone has a different strategy.

So you analyze that.

And then you determine, okay, I want these people here to be my customer.

These are potential customers.

Now you have a game plan that's called a plan of attack, which I mentioned in part two.

Does that make sense?

Well, I can't respond to you, but okay.

Yeah, this is pretty salesy 101 type stuff.

And I do get the sense that Cold Call Paul is really targeting.

very newbie salespeople people who don't have much information on the actual like science of selling and you do have to do some research but i wouldn't suggest stalking them like that that's that's just a waste of time.

You need to understand if they're interested in your services first.

And then if they are, then it's worthy, unless you're doing like huge business-to-business sales.

Like you're going to go in, like I used to sell Kellogg's,

one time I sold, not Kellogg's Post, consulting services.

Yes.

And for five days, me and the team who was going up to pitch this, you know, multi-million dollar consulting package, for five days, we researched the division we were pitching, the people who worked for the division, what they had bought in the past,

what software they had now, what that software did and didn't do.

So that we understood where the weaknesses are, the places we could fill in the gaps.

But, you know, if you're selling lawn care services, you know, do you have a lawn?

Do you do it yourself?

Would you like some extra time on the weekends?

Yeah, that's pretty easy.

Because you want to be prepared.

One of the things I've learned when I started calling people on social media, the reaction I got was like shocking.

Surprised people calling them.

I understood why after a while.

How do you call on social media?

I understood why.

People were shocked.

I understood.

Why are you stalking me?

When it said Facebook calling,

LinkedIn calling.

I'm shocked.

Why that was.

Either some of them were using bots as a getting people to respond to them or automated responses.

So they didn't even know who they were following.

They were just paying somebody to do that.

So I learned that.

I became more effective, more efficient.

Now I have more communication, more dialogue to people on Instagram.

I see he's like Rocky and Rocky 4.

He's up in Russia.

He's learning.

He's putting his strategy down before he makes any accounts.

Rising up up on the streets.

Took my time, took my chances.

Put a huge belt around my kneecaps.

And now I've got big old pants.

I'm the cold call Paul.

Facebook and Twitter and LinkedIn.

Does that make sense?

So remember this.

Number two is discovery, research, and analyze.

Got it.

Committed to memory.

Committed to memory.

Got it.

This is where people become hesitant.

You start the initial call to action.

Yes, what is your message?

Now, typically is when you have a website or you have a posting, you want to make sure that you have enough hook in your

content to get people to take call to action.

Right?

Right.

So one of the things I've learned between...

action right okay because i'm not influential i'm not huge on the internet i do have a decent presence

and i'm not gonna wait

for the people that like my content or following me or commenting to do a call to action

okay

I'm going to kidnap them and by gunpoint, I'm going to force them to click on schedule an appointment now.

I'm going to do their job.

Oh, okay i'm going to go call them got it because if they like my content and they're sharing my content

and they comment on my content

what more can i ask for them to reach out to you and say i need your share because there's no other reason they'd be following you that's it yeah like i mean

there's a lot of people that follow the commercial i say a lot there's a few people that follow the commercial break i don't think all of them listen to the show and I'm not going to call them and ask them to.

That's kind of silly.

They're taking a call action to me.

My job is to follow up.

You did it first.

You started it.

You followed me.

Don't click on that.

And don't you need my surgeon's services?

I can see if you like one of his posts.

You're just in a never-ending way of cold calls for Paul.

Does that make sense?

No.

But if you don't have the right target customers that you want them to be, and you you haven't done your discovery, research, and analyzed the online presence.

Are you what are you going to call them about?

What kind of action are you going to talk to them about?

Because remember this: when you do I was researching, discovering, and analyzing

your

middle child, and I noticed he lost a tooth.

And I wanted to call and say, Congratulations, I can cut your lawn for $49.99 a month.

I can play the tooth fairy for $10.99.

And you take the action, then in reverse, are going to try to sell you their services, right?

No, what?

What?

No, never once has that ever happened.

Never once.

Except at a dealership.

But to be fair, I said I was in the market for a car.

Yes.

You got to be prepared for all that.

And every single platform that's where the martial arts come in, you got to deflect.

Yeah.

Yes, sensei.

You have a tremendous amount of qualified leads that are ready to buy from you.

Sweep the leg.

Sweep the sale.

Don't let them sell you.

Don't let them sell you.

And what most people do is they don't go after it unless there's an ad.

What?

So what I'm trying to teach and show and help you understand that Facebook ads, Instagram ad, and boosting and promoting, there's nothing wrong with that.

It works.

I get it.

What I'm trying to do is complement that.

So using your money wisely.

So let's say you do a boosting on Facebook and you get, let's say,

you reach 4,000 people.

Let's say you get 200 likes.

Maybe it's 20 shares.

200 likes.

Geez, that's a really high percentage.

Yeah.

Well, and you're going to have to go through each one of those likes and determine if you're interested in.

If they're interested in your services, what if the strategy is bots?

What do we do?

That's exciting, right?

People like McConnell.

Where's the business from there?

See, the purpose of that is to get recognition.

It's to be possible.

Regnation.

I don't want much recognition.

Recognition, I'll take.

Popular, is to be known, is for people to see you.

That's good.

But why not generate business at the same time?

At the same time.

I shouldn't make fun.

I mean, you know, some people talk different than other people, but it's a lot of misspeaking of words.

Just something to think about.

For me, I've never done a Facebook ad,

Instagram ad, a Twitter ad.

Now, how would you know?

How are you teaching a social media strategy?

Without ever having done an ad on social media.

They do work.

There's a reason why people spend billions of dollars on them every year.

I've never done any boosting or promoting.

I go out and I get it.

How?

How?

I don't want to fall into that trap.

What trap?

The trap of having more revenue in your pocket?

I don't want to fall into the trap.

Does that mean I won't do it?

No, I'm going to eventually do it.

I'll eventually fall into the trap.

I just don't want to fall into the trap.

I still don't get what his call to action is.

There is no call to action.

He's saying that if someone's saying that on his website or or on his post is call me.

If someone follows him and they like his post, he assumes that's an open invitation to go ahead and call them.

But he also is aware they're going to try and sell him their services.

So he's got to be prepared.

Again, it seems like a revenue-neutral proposition that someone's going to try to sell you their services while you sell you your services.

I don't get it.

I wish there was just one bullet point that we could take away from here and say, at least we got that out of it.

Well, guess what?

Bottom line is: I want to convert leads into sales.

Yes.

Bottom line, I want to build my relationships.

Me too.

And by building the relationships and getting the right customer, they will help you establish a stronger following and a stronger audience.

Huh?

Does that make sense?

That's the best word of mouth you could ever get.

Which follow me so far?

So, something to think about.

I hope this has been helpful to you.

And I really

that you take action on this

before we leave.

Again, I want to thank every one of you being part of the martial arts of sales.

I did not understand

a fucking word.

Oh my god,

damn it.

He's got heart.

He's got something.

There's something there.

There's some kind of gené sequence.

I can see how if you're, you know.

He's really trying to figure out the social media after he was, you know, in the phone book land before.

Way in the phone.

Smiling and dialing.

Had a headset on, smiling and dialing.

Automatic dialers.

Automatic dialers.

Yes.

Drinking lots of coffee, coffee's foreclosers kind of situation.

When Raphael and I started the search engine optimization company, we were desperately looking for, you know, customers.

Yeah.

I could see this guy coming in, and we would probably hire him because

he would work for free at just cold call.

Yes.

You know what I'm saying?

Kind of kill what you eat type of thing.

But

it is funny.

I will give it that.

It's so funny.

Oh.

This is the pit of cold calling.

It's very real.

There's not a lot of extra mustard on the hot dogs.

There's no truckiotomy.

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So please do us a favor.

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And make sure you text us, 212-433-3TCB.

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Get into our web of

fall into the trap of our social media.

We're going to be calling you.

Oh, definitely.

That's our new social media strategy.

All 9,000 of you.

We're just going to start calling.

So I said at the commercial break on Instagram.

Oh, youtube.com slash thecommercial break for all the episodes on video the same day that you're here on the audio.

And of course, you can go to the website, tcbpodcast.com.

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Not the same one you'll get with the

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All right, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for now.

I think so.

Tell you that I love you.

I love you.

Best to you.

Best to you.

Best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Until next time, Chrissy and I will say.

We do say, and we must say.

Goodbye.

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