TCB Infomercial: Noel Miller (Pt. 2)

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Sorry, I'm just getting a text now that I guess someone

hit our garage.

Oh.

Someone hit your garage with a car?

Yeah, let's see.

Let's see what the damn.

Noel, if you need to go, we can like we can call you back and write some other time.

Just give me like two minutes.

Take your time.

I'm going to beat them up.

I'll be right back.

Okay, sounds good.

On this episode of the Commercial Break.

And these people are doing it down in the villages.

There's all kinds of crazy shit happening down there.

They're definitely doing psychedelics.

Definitely.

They're doing a lot of mushrooms, a lot of weed.

And Coke, apparently, is a thing, too.

So it must be...

you know because when you think about when you're younger you take multiple substances it takes a certain amount amount of focus

to like manage that mind state.

I mean, they must be living multiple days in a single night.

They get it high, and then they take sialis and food or something else.

A little toot.

They almost wake up feeling like, shit.

Am I dead?

My feet.

The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now.

Oh yeah, Cats and Kittens, welcome back to the commercial break.

I'm Brian Green.

This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris Joy Hoadley.

Best to you, Chris.

Best to you, Brian.

Best of you out there in the podcast universe.

Aliens is appropriate as we bring on the very popular and extraordinarily twisted-minded Noel Miller.

He is a incredibly popular online personality.

He's been doing YouTube and all the socials for, I don't know, 10, 11 years.

We'll get into it with him.

This is our second time with Noel.

You will recall, or those sharp-eared listeners will recall, that Noel couldn't finish his last interview because some lady drove into his garage.

While we're doing the interview, while we were doing the interview.

He's like,

I, what?

You know,

his wife was running up and saying, you know, this just happened.

And he's like, apparently somebody just hit our house.

That's right.

Can we reschedule that?

Absolutely.

So we got like 25, 30 minutes into the the interview.

It had to be cut short, obviously.

You know, he had other things to attend to.

I wanted to say, no, we got another 30 minutes.

What are you doing?

But he's kind enough and nice enough to reschedule.

And so here we are, part due with Noel Miller.

Noel is an online, like as mentioned, an online personality who has a smorgasbord of creativity out there on the internet.

The tiny meet gang, the tiny meet gang podcast, Noel's own podcast.

I don't think the tiny meet gang i don't know if they're around anymore but anyway you can go read about it if that's what you choose to do um but we're linking everything down in the show notes his youtube channel his podcast his podcast network his instagram and his tick tock and

his live performances which is i believe what he is focusing on right now that's right he's on the road he's got uh a lot of performances coming up so he likely is coming to a place near you please go get tickets at noelmillerlive.com again all of the links are in the show notes.

I don't want to delay on this one, Chrissy, because I would like to get into it with Noel and enjoy, spread our wings a little bit and talk about some stuff, maybe even get a giggle or two out of him.

What do you think?

Yeah, let's do it.

Okay, so short intro so that we can get to Noel.

Do you understand what I'm saying to you, Kristen Joy Hoadley?

I'm on board.

Okay, let's do this.

Let's take a break.

And through the magic of telepodcasting, Noel Miller will again join us for the conclusion of our

that got interrupted by some crazy old person who drove into his garage door.

Does that sound good to you?

That sounds good.

Okay, I was just waiting for your permission.

All right, Chrissy gave us a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a.

I'm just thinking about the door being backed into.

Me too.

Yeah.

We'll see if it was backed into you.

Who knew?

All right.

We'll be back with Noelle.

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on TCB.

And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue.

Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears, and I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail.

Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page.

You can also find the entire commercial break library, audio and video, just in case you want to look at Chrissy, at tcbpodcast.com.

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Now I'm going to go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors and then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break.

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And Noel is here for part two,

Chrissy.

Thank you very much, Noel.

Where were we?

Where were we?

I know.

I was all trying to think about what we talked about.

Noel, it took me this long to pick up all the pieces from my garage being driven into.

That's crazy.

I was telling Brian, I think we will never have that happen again.

Yeah, that's a once-in-a-life job.

Talking to somebody while somebody hits their house.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, that was.

I hope to never have that again.

I hope that was a one-of-one.

I've backed into my own garage.

I've never had anybody back into my garage.

Did she just back into your garage or did a person back into your garage?

If you can't tell, if you can't give all the details, that's okay.

But

I don't know.

I don't know if there's litigation or what's going on.

No, no, there's no litigation.

Okay, that's good.

Yes.

He

went

nose first into the garage.

Oh, what?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think

she thought she was in reverse.

Oh,

classic mistake.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Was she

apologetic?

Of course.

Yeah.

Very scary.

Or did she come out and say,

why did you put that fucking garage in my way?

No, no.

She stood there.

She was really shaken up.

She apologized profusely.

Yeah.

But

now the new garage door is probably three times as heavy.

So it won't definitely won't happen again.

Yeah.

You steered away from the aluminum door.

Yeah.

Give me something real.

Well, we use car parts from like 1950s Chrysler.

So if you dive into it,

you're actually going to fold the front half of it up.

Are you a car guy?

Are you into cars?

Yeah.

I mean,

you know, yes, I would say these days I'm more casual.

But yeah, like in my college days, I found a Honda.

I'd work on it when I could and whatever little crummy parts I could afford.

Yeah, you'd soup up your Honda.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Soup up his, in quotes.

Yeah.

I had that soup.

As best you could.

I had a Honda.

accord yes you did i did not uh quote-unquote soup it up i got into a car accident after directly after i paid it off and it took off a good chunk of the front half of the car basically that i drove it around

another two years i would nice but you couldn't see it from one side so when i would go like pick somebody up for a date i'd just park on the other like i'd park facing the other way

so they could see it

yeah i was i wasn't good with cars so that was it but yeah listen, congratulations on the new cart, new garage, and your growing baby,

who is

nine months old now, you just told us.

And so you are in the thick of it.

How are you sleeping?

How is the family doing?

How is like the tempo of the house?

I'm always interested with new age parents.

Yeah, no, I mean, it's it's good.

He's actually a really good sleeper.

Not fucking lately.

Yeah, I think, I think he's starting to get his teeth, though.

That's been waking him up.

Yeah, that's been a bit.

Yeah, right now he kind of pops up at like midnight for a short cry.

And then

6 a.m.

is when he's like really feeling it.

Yeah, that's when he gets up and starts running around.

Do you co-sleep or is he sleeping on his own?

He sleeps on his own.

I mean, we kind of split it.

It's kind of like whatever we can convince him to do.

But at night, he'll sleep in his crib no problem.

So just kind of rock away and then just pass out

we're lucky though you know we we've had plenty of nights where he just goes for a full 10 or 12 just conked yeah they do that on occasion because i think they just zip themselves up so much and just like us you know we sleep well sometimes you like lay down and all of a sudden you wake back up you wake up in the morning and you're like wow i got that night of sleep i'm looking for even though it's more less and less these days but it seems like you're doing everything right can you come over and teach my children how to come over and teach my children because yeah you know, you know, we're early, we're early phases.

Who knows what he'll be like in a year?

Yeah, that's that's true.

Um, so you're now doing more live shows.

You just mentioned to us right before the interview that you're getting, you're doing more theater shows.

How many do you have in front of you?

What are you looking at?

What's the run?

Uh, I'm doing at least like two or three every weekend.

Whoa,

September, October, so something like that.

Yeah, two or three every weekend in September and October.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then I have a few in November.

So nice.

You know,

you've been so incredibly popular on the internet.

You've really built a brand, a couple brands, right?

So you've,

I mean,

you've done all right for yourself.

I mean, you know.

Yeah, it's been good.

It's been good to you.

But the live show is a whole different animal.

And I know you've been doing this for a while, but the live show is a whole different animal.

It's a whole, It's a different creature.

It's a different beast.

And I think where we left off, because I looked at this last night, was

you do you enjoy the art of the stage, or do you enjoy sitting down, thinking up a skit or a bit or breaking down videos or whatever it is you're doing online?

Which one scratches that itch for you more?

Or just different ways?

No, definitely stand-up.

I think stand-up has always been my first love.

I've I've just,

I've never, not never, but

I think I wish I could commit more time to it than I could, but the problem with me is I like to do a lot of things.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But yeah, no, I think stand-up and performing live is

where I, I think that's where I'm at my best, you know.

Making videos online, like it's fun.

And

it, it's something I think that comes mostly natural, but I think live is where I'm the most natural.

You get that interaction element.

It's that, but also kind of like the pressure of a lot of people being, like, that's why I think I do a lot is because I just function well under pressure.

So

I like to cook my mind and be as stressed out as possible.

A lot of people are like that.

I'm like that.

Yeah, it seems to be the best

version of me.

Yeah.

Yeah, there's something about anxiety that I think, that anxiety, that stress, but it's not in a,

it doesn't tear me up like I've seen it tear up other people.

It motivates me.

And when my mind is in a corner, I fight out of the corner, right?

And I like that challenge.

It, it makes me feel, I don't know, it's almost like I have a purpose.

Like, okay, here we go.

Makes me feel alive.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I need a goal.

But yeah, yeah, definitely performing live is

my favorite thing to do.

And when you're up on these,

when you're up on stage and you're doing these theater shows, do you,

I'd like to ask this of anybody who does stand-up.

Do you

read the crowd and move in the direction that the crowd is going?

Like, I know from night to night, place to place, some crowds may interact with some material different than they interact with other material, right?

It just might be a hot crowd that loves everything you're doing, everything gets a laugh.

And then other crowds, you might need to work up a little bit, right?

Yeah.

Do you play with that energy?

Yeah, it's interesting.

I think as I've, you know,

I've been very fortunate to just like keep logging time on stage and just go to different places.

And I think now, more or less, I have a vibe of what the city is.

So sometimes I just use that to

give myself like halfway expectations because you never know.

Sure.

Like

you can the the it's it's always it's got it's always variable.

So Yeah, but to answer your question, I definitely try to tailor what the crowd is feeling, you know, like if they kind of want a lot of material, I'll kind of dial up the tempo and try to give more.

If the crowd is maybe a bit more chilled out, like sometimes you get that, you know, you go to a place like Denver and sometimes they're all just like baked out of their mouth.

Yeah, exactly.

It's just a bit more chill.

Yeah.

And you kind of got to.

You roll it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're just kind of rolling with it and just letting the.

Letting the material cook a little bit.

So, but yeah, definitely.

I think that's part of what makes it fun is when you can connect with a lot of people at the same time.

Yeah.

Where is your where is your favorite place?

Where's the where's the Noel Miller crowd?

Like, where is it like, oh my God, I can't wait to go play this show.

I mean, I, I, I love playing the Midwest.

I have so much fun in the Midwest all the time.

We've heard that from other people.

Yeah, we've heard that from other people also.

They say that the Midwest, it's not only

there's a Midwest vibe, right?

It's very friendly, but they're, it's a working, it's working class, a lot of it.

And so when they, when they're out having fun, they're out having fun.

They're not partying.

It's like Miami where they're partying for a living, right?

There's that.

And then also, you know, the Midwest.

I love them.

Sometimes you can bully them too because depending where you go, they have sort of cultural niceties baked in.

Yeah.

So

they might hate what you're saying, but they might think it's rude if they don't laugh.

So you can kind of fuck with them a little bit.

My humor skews a bit darker, and sometimes I like poking fun at that.

If you don't laugh, you're going to hell.

And you know that.

You better enjoy this shit right here.

Some of that religious repression is fun to lean on.

I can see that.

I can see that.

Yeah, they still like to go to their church.

Sunday is church day.

And so is the South.

But the South, I think there's just a different vibe in some places in the South anyway.

South, I think, over the years, I've learned South has the same

It's like when the alcohol is in, they're turned up, but if they're just sitting and listening,

I find I could say maybe the most,

you know, just like by my definition, right?

I could say something that's like really awful as far as like a concept or like what's funny to me.

And they'll sit there and go, hmm.

They just take it in.

Yeah.

And no pushback.

And they'll be like, all right, you know, that's how you feel.

It's like,

they're being polite.

Yeah.

Being polite to your incredibly twisted mind.

Yeah,

I've marked it myself on crazy.

It's not that crazy, especially this news set.

I think it's, I found it to be very relatable

up and down the board.

You know, I've had, I was just in Milwaukee and that was a great experience because

I think that was my most, I think,

widespread audience where I had people with exes on their hands that were like 18.

And then I had like 50-year-old, cornbread dudes, like big, burly boys.

Yeah.

And then big guys with their wives.

And my stuff I've been working on lately, like everyone was connecting with it.

And so

I know, I think some of my earlier shows, there's a bit more of those like kind of stale, awkward moments where I say something really fucked up and I just look at the room and smile.

You think that's funny, right?

You're with me on this, right?

Yeah.

People are like, I don't know if I should agree with that.

Yeah.

I realize like some of my material was a lot like, I describe it like, I don't know, just like taking a picture of like a dead body and like holding it to a person and be like, isn't that hilarious?

Not really.

Like that at all.

Yeah, but they're, they, they don't know what to do because they're like,

yeah, am I supposed to laugh at this?

Or does he actually think that's funny?

Because if he does, he's probably more dangerous than we might have.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, you know, I think this new stuff I'm working on, and not, and I, I say that, like, uh, you know, anyone who maybe enjoys me on stage, because I tend to be darker.

It's not lighter by any means.

There's definitely some, there's definitely some strains in there where I force the laughter.

You haven't turned into Jeff Foxworthy?

No, no, no.

No.

If I was doing, I'd be doing arenas, you know,

I'd be retiring next year.

Yeah, that's true.

Well,

it's interesting because there are.

There's variations in comedy of what people find funny.

I tend to go to the darker places also.

I find

when you push the envelope and maybe you recognize that pain can be funny or darkness can be funny, that there's some comfort in that for me, but there's also a twistedness that I enjoy.

Like my mind can go there and be okay with laughing at it.

But then there's lots of comedians.

We've just had a conversation with a guy named Dusty Slay.

He's one of those.

Yeah.

That's what I know of him.

Yeah.

And Dusty's done very well for himself, along with Nate and all these other guys who have done very well for themselves, really keeping a very broad and safe kind of comedy.

And, you know, we ask him, like, hey, is that a choice?

You know, or is this your brand of humor?

Is it a choice to keep it wide open, you know, to bring more people to the front door?

And he said, it's kind of both.

It's like, it's not, it doesn't come natural to me to go to those places.

Right.

And so that's cool.

And he says, and, you know, I do enjoy the fact that you can bring your grandpa to my show, and it's okay that that happens.

Yeah.

I would imagine that your audiences tend to, you said, hey, I got people in there with 18 and X's on their hands.

And then I got the 50-year-olds that are the big,

you know, big boys, you know, like down home, down-southern boys.

I would imagine your audiences tend to skew a little bit younger.

Like seeing a 50 or 60-year-old in your audience might be like, Oh, okay, I'm getting some new, I'm getting, I'm reaching new people.

Definitely, definitely.

I think the audiences are starting to.

When I first started, you know,

I do five shows at a club, and

all five were just diehard fans, and

you know, probably,

you know, 18 to 23-ish.

And then these days it's it's much more broad and and uh

our audience is just grown up.

So it's kind of nice because, you know, now they're all, I don't know, I'd say like 23 to 29, some are in their 30s.

Yeah.

Um and then yeah, I get way more like random walk-ups and uh just older people.

And I kind of like when it's or like, but I kind of prefer when it's a a big mix like that because

then

I get to use these strangers as a litmus test because you know the people that have known me for a while they trust what I'm saying and so I could say I don't know something dark or whatever and they know that I'm just fucking around and so when I get strangers learning how to kind of like get them on my side and yeah see what I see I think that challenge is

I prefer it sometimes.

Very interesting way of looking at it.

But the other thing about like the audience is growing up with you, right?

It's not unlike a musician starts off young and then, you know, hey, my material changes over the years and I think about different things.

And the audience who's known you that whole time, like you said, they trust you.

They know you're funny and they can go with you to those dark places because that's where they've been with you before.

But then you gain this new audience, maybe older folks or people who haven't been there.

You know, you,

I think that's really exciting.

Like that's probably the exciting part.

Hey, I am reaching new people.

I'm still growing as an artist and I've got new people coming in the door.

I have an opportunity to get them on my side.

Yeah.

You know, and then, and, uh, or, you know, you get like a

group of random 30 dudes on a bachelor party.

You get like, you know, just random, random groups in there.

But I think what ends up being fun is then in those moments when

someone maybe is hating it, then I get to look at my audience and the, like the people that have known me for a while and I get to kind kind of like wink and go yeah yeah we know yeah

we know what he's up to yeah so i always feel like i got backup so i can terrorize

are you on tour with other people too do you have some openers

yeah yeah yeah you know i got i got friends that open up for me uh just like uh they live in different spots and um lately i've been

working with like local guys and just trying to uh give some younger dudes uh a shout.

Nice.

Put them on a little bit.

And yeah, so it's kind of all across the board.

Yeah, but I've got a lot of guys that I got working the rotation.

Look at you.

You're becoming a mentor of sort of

the younger generation.

I still, honestly, I still feel young and stand-up.

I think all in, maybe I'm at like seven, maybe eight years, depending on where you put the start point.

I feel like you've got to do a lot more time to like really, really mentor.

But yeah, no, it's cool that um i at least have the ability to kind of look at somebody and say hey i think you're doing good stuff and yeah just put them on a little bit that's cool i think age yeah yeah of course you know the old saying 10 000 hours right 10 000 reps that's when someone becomes an expert at what they do 10 000 reps is someone wrote a book about it um

but you know at the same time you've been entertaining people for a long time in some form or another for most of if not all of your adult life right?

And yeah.

Yeah.

And so you have the experience, you have the 10,000 hours of making people smile at your work or at least thought, you know, think there creatively, you've put it out there.

Yeah, it's pretty, um,

it's pretty crazy when I think about it.

I think I'm coming up on like 11 years.

Jeez.

Yeah.

Kind of, it's wild.

It is wild.

And it's, it's, and you've had such a phenomenal run.

I mean, by any stretch of the imagination, in the age of new media, right?

In the age of the internet, in the age of new media and YouTube and Instagram, TikTok, all this other stuff.

You have been one who has not only had success, but it's not a one-off success.

It's not a, I managed to grow my Instagram to, you know, half a million people or whatever.

It's that you've built brands.

You've built companies.

You've branched off.

That's,

that's.

mogul-esque, right?

It's like you think about things differently, but you should, you should really applaud yourself or at least recognize that that's not something everybody does.

You know, there are a lot of personalities on the internet.

Not all of them know what to do with it, right?

Yeah.

No, thank you, man.

It's

yeah, it's something that I struggle to acknowledge within myself.

Yeah.

But yeah, I've taken on many endeavors.

And yeah, I mean, these days, I like, you know, I,

you know, I have my podcast network, so I'm running that a lot of the time.

And then

I've the past year, I've been back on YouTube just trying to figure out what I kind of want to be making there.

And I think I've started to find kind of the new direction I want to go.

That kind of came away with like I started a

dystopian commentary podcast called The Company Lot.

Yeah.

And from that, I've kind of

birthed like a new inspiration for YouTube.

And then, yeah, just working stand-up uh you know in between all that and then you know trying to be a dad and it's uh it's like yeah what else can you fit in there I know

slackers

it's been the most like intense

you know uh period of

my life yeah I mean listen running a podcast network in and of itself right and I know because I worked for one at a high level and and um it consumed a good chunk of my day that's not easy and then all of these other things what did you, what, what is the, what do you find is the new inspiration for your YouTube?

Just kind of this like commentary on

culture?

Sort of, yeah.

I think

I would say for a majority of my career, you know, I've I've just kind of been

just like a

I don't know, like a dude just like I talk shit and fucks around.

Not that I'm trying to be more serious, but I think off camera, like with friends and stuff, I tend to naturally just joke more about, I don't know, just like trending news.

And it's not too dissimilar from what I was doing before, but I think I was always kind of

afraid to make that jump to just talking about like trending things on my own.

Yeah.

And so I've kind of forced myself to do that.

And

it's worked out well.

And people

are supportive and

they seem to like what I'm bringing to the table there.

So

I I don't think I'm fully at where I want to be with that.

But, you know, I'm like, it's a senior way of hammering.

Yeah, yeah.

When you say trending news, are you specifically talking about state of the world type stuff?

Not always.

I think actually sometimes I take a weird interest in stuff that's actually kind of boring.

Yeah.

And

fair enough.

So do we.

There's like this whole,

so you might have seen it.

There are all these posts about this uh lawsuit with ozempic and how they're going through like like the creators of ozempic are going through like a two billion dollar lawsuit yeah people are just kind of like saying that on tick tock and they're just regurgitating that yeah and

uh the numbers completely made up and uh it's like a total mischaracterization of something that's actually happening yeah um and i think like when you look at things like that it uh there's like funny or things to read between the lines on.

Like people are just more excited to tell anyone who's skinny that their eyeballs might fall out right

yeah you know and and it's funny like when you to me when you look at the last two years of people talking about ozempic um i'm gonna take a risk here but a lot of like fitness guys have taken ozempic correct as like for content and and to just you know spread awareness but what's really funny is they talk about ozempic

uh the same way people talk about a racist like they're like

well you know yeah it's got these negative qualities but you have to look at like what it came from you And like the larger problem is obesity.

So it's like, it's not the racist fault.

It's that it's the structure.

Yeah, it's where it came from.

Right.

Yeah.

So I think it's like sometimes I take interest in these really like nuanced things that when you bring it up, there's so much context ahead of it where you like lose people.

Yeah.

But yeah, so I think I'm just like.

figuring out how I can talk about these things that are otherwise pretty uninteresting to a lot of people.

And put a new spin on it and make it interesting, like from the mind of Noel Miller.

I think

I like that.

I like that.

It's not dissimilar to the,

you know, just to like relate it to what we do for a long time, mean 850 episodes in, but for a long time, we kind of made it a point not to talk about things that were timely or topical.

Number one, like, you know, you're, you don't know

how that's going to come across when you spark on something that can be controversial, right?

It's not to stay away from controversy.

It's just like, also, it spoils really easily in the can.

Like you can leave it there for two days and all of a sudden it's not news anymore and you're talking about something old.

But then

I think satire is

so much easier than hitting stuff nose on.

Like, I'm not the daily show, right?

I'm not going to be the daily show.

But an example that you just gave, we were talking about the lawsuit against the tequila company

that's going on right now, claiming that the tequila

agave is not the agave.

There's no agave in the tequila and people are not the level that they're saying it.

And

I use that as a platform to spin the angle that everyone's trying to get everyone one over on everybody and that just seems permissible.

That's the way we do business these days.

And then also, does anyone that's drinking Jose Cuevo even fucking care how much agave is in their tequila?

I mean, why why are people so angry about that?

They seem just fine drinking their margaritas regardless, right?

So, yeah, no, I mean, that's what's kept me from being an alcoholic.

I just don't trust the agave.

The ingredients, Smith.

Yeah, people die drinking that shit.

Remember those people in Mexico were dying because they were drinking like the bottles of liquor inside of the resorts?

You remember that?

Oh, yeah, that's right.

That's awesome.

Yeah.

Congratulations to you.

Yeah.

New timeshares available.

I don't know.

Yeah.

Buy now.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The unit on the bottom floor by the beach is opened up.

I'm just thinking of the time I went to the Hard Rock Resort in Dominican Republic.

And they did have those bottles of liquor in the room.

You would just like press the button and out would come the liquor.

That's crazy.

Glad I am that I wasn't drinking alcohol at that time.

The hard rock brand is the modern conquistador.

I mean, that brand is everywhere.

It is.

It really is.

You all talk about American

imperialism.

It's the Hard Rock Cafe.

That thing could, I think the only places left, I think they have everywhere.

I think they're in all 180 countries.

That's it.

They are everywhere.

They're here in Atlanta.

Atlanta's thinking about, has always been thinking about whether or not they open up a gambling zone like they have in New Orleans, like a 10-square-mile area where you can put casinos to get in on, you know, the

crippling addiction that's going around the United States of America.

Might as well.

Add another one.

That's right.

So Hard Rock, in their infinite wisdom and business acumen, bought some of the most expensive property in downtown Atlanta to build a hotel with a big empty lot next to it just in case.

That's so nice.

Yeah, it just shows.

You're right.

It's about imperial, it's about taking over, right?

Where can we take one over on people?

I just think it's hilarious because you could go to like rural Phuket in Thailand and it's all hostels, but you'll round a corner.

It's that

72 palm tree superstructure.

Is that

funny?

And they're there.

You know?

That's it.

That's wild.

They are everywhere.

They are everywhere.

What is

you ever had an interaction with somebody?

Like when you go out on these live shows, you're doing material that's edgy or dark, you know, edgy to some people or dark or whatever it is.

You ever have interactions that are not pleasant?

You ever had any wild interactions out there?

Oh, yeah.

You know, people just, you know, follow me to my hotel, hiding in my closet.

What?

And wake up in the middle of the night.

There's a blade to my neck.

Oh, yeah, dude.

What?

Yeah.

A blank to the neck.

Yeah, that's why, as a comedian, you have to do Navy SEALs training.

I'm opening a special school for comedians

where

it's actually, we mimic buds.

We mimic the beginning stages of a SEAL's journey.

And I mean, we do it all, you know, like we do the whole like hurrah where you put 20 comedians on the beach in the tent and you wake them up with bombs.

Vegas losers style.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

It's all hecklers and we're armed with real ammunition.

We're doing real Alec Baldwin's live.

Fucking Alex.

You know, so, you know, yeah, have I said jokes and have people try to slice my throat in the middle of the night?

Yeah, but I'm equipped for things like that.

Okay, good.

I've studied counterterrorism techniques.

Always

with a 3D printed gun.

I can assemble it.

It's like the golden gun from GoldenEye.

I can just, you know, pull out a pencil, a lighter, and a small fleshlight.

And boom.

Yeah.

So, yeah, no, I mean, I've had some weird interactions.

I had a guy.

This is like my favorite story to tell because he completely owned me and it was so funny.

I was at a bar shooting pool in Charlotte and he walks up to me.

He's a, you know, objectively a funny looking guy.

Like he's just, he's kind of short and round, really, really big eyes, quadrifocals.

I mean, a straight cartanker.

And he looks up at me with like his, you know, Hubble telescope eyeballs.

And he goes,

oh, you're the comedian guy.

I go, yeah, what's up, man?

He's like, I was just at your show.

I said, oh, cool.

He's like, I walked out.

I walked down.

And then he started telling me one of my jokes was offensive.

And I said, which one?

And then we started to explain it.

I

was like, well, you're not, you're not really saying it right.

And then I started going into my act in front of him.

I'm like, no, actually, what I said was.

And then my tour manager, God bless him.

I love him.

You know, he's from Philly.

Okay.

And he didn't tolerate even one more minute of this shit.

He just stepped in and he goes, he goes, what the the fuck are you on about?

And then the guy just starts, you know, repeating himself.

I think me and this guy are a little bit, you know, we're undiagnosed.

Like we both have special interests.

So

he and I were actually

podcast with each other.

We were just, you know, talking at each other.

And my tour manager would not tolerate a second of it.

So he

just starts.

going in on this guy and he's like, hey, man,

when you watch a movie you don't like, do you, do you message the director that you didn't like the movie?

And I was like, well, no.

He's like, exactly.

So shut the fuck up.

And then he starts yelling at him.

He's like, you walked out.

You didn't see the ending of the movie.

How can you say you hate a movie?

And then it got really funny because then I'm like, what is this metaphor?

It's not good.

Yeah.

And then

his wife showed up.

And then we rehashed the whole thing for three of us.

So now it's just like some three Stooges charge happened.

And then unfortunately, this devolved into the two of them having a fight on the patio.

Oh, no.

Like a fist fight on the patio.

No, no, no.

Just like

yelling at each other.

Yeah.

At which point I felt like I won.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Take that home.

Right.

Take that home.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, you know,

I've definitely had, you know, I've had guys walk out and tell me, fuck you, and

whatever.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think it's part of it.

Who cares?

Part and parcel of.

You learn, I think, early on.

I think we learned early on, you know, because the podcast was just objectively bad, and people will tell you that.

I mean, that's just the truth, right?

The podcast was a bit, I'm not sure it's much better, but some people have jumped on board and they talked to us.

And I've watched all 852 episodes

of L.

Miller.

That's my entrepreneurial spirit.

I've watched talent and I watch it develop.

And let me tell you, 852 hours later, it has sharpened up.

We are a pencil.

That's what Chat TCB tells me.

It says, you guys have gotten much better.

Congratulations.

When ChatGPT even tells you you're mediocre, you've got something wrong.

It's designed to tell you you're mediocre.

I mean, you can't really trust ChatGPT, right?

Yeah.

It's just like evil consciousness.

It's saying it's not very good.

In fact, you should do more, but you should do practice episodes with me.

That's right.

Do practice episodes with me.

Yeah, and then ChatGPT is wanting to scan your bodies and it's like, thank you.

Yeah.

It sucked up the entire podcast.

And then it just said, yeah, you guys are okay.

You guys are all right.

Congratulations on that.

Which is tracked with what we thought.

Yeah.

You have to, you have to get, you have to have a bit of a thick skin, I think, when you do stuff.

And you put it out there.

There's going to be plenty of people that don't like it.

And I'm sure you have your fair share of people that haven't like.

Have you ever done like a, I was thinking about this earlier today.

Have you ever done like a skit or put something in the can or had an idea and then you think better of it or someone goes, No, you should not put that out there.

And you go, Okay, I'd maybe think about it.

Yeah, no, I've got plenty of those.

I got plenty of bombs.

You know, that's uh, it's kind of why I chose my wife.

I tell her jokes, and she'll just look at me like Darren headlights.

She'll go,

I don't get it.

Yeah, yeah,

just that dry.

And I'm like, fuck.

So I got to go figure out how I make her get it.

Yeah.

You know, there's nothing worse than when I say something and my wife is putting on lotion.

She's like, ah, that's funny.

You're like, it's the ultimate insult.

I know that feeling.

My wife is my compass.

And if I get a giggle out of her, I know it's likely very funny with other people because I know that there's funny stuff that I say to her, but she on purpose

doesn't laugh.

She downplays it.

Yeah.

And then sometimes she just tells me straight up, you should not say that.

It should not be the thing you should do.

Brian Green.

Yeah, Brian Green.

That's how she says it.

She goes, Brian Green.

And I'll go, okay, maybe not that one.

Yeah.

That is

when you can get your longtime partner to say your name.

You're like, that's right.

That's the one that's the most fucked up thing I've ever said in my 22 hours.

That's right.

Did you, I think think I asked this to you last time, but I refresh my memory.

Did you always have this kind of dark sense of humor?

Was this just like the way your brain ticked?

Or did this?

I feel like some of my dark sense of humor came to me when I was with my formative group of friends, right?

As a young teenager.

And all of a sudden, we're all starting to laugh at stuff that most people would find sick and disgusting.

Yeah.

I think,

I don't know.

Like, I think

it got darker over time.

Yeah.

You know, I think I went through some life experiences and that kind of turned me maybe the wrong way.

But

yeah, I would say generally,

yeah, once I figured out what was funny to me, I think it started to skew really dark.

But yeah, I actually don't think it was always super dark.

Yeah.

It got there.

It definitely

got there.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think you get you go through.

I think comedy is one of those things that some people use it in the darkest of moments, the funeral of their parents, the

right after the car crash.

I got cancer, right?

Stuff like that.

And they use humor.

And then some people feel much more comfortable in the solemnity of the moment.

Right.

They're like,

I'm not laughing at the, you know, I'm in.

I'm taking in what's going on at the funeral.

So it just depends on how you choose to cope with life.

And comedy is one of those things that lots of people use to cope with life.

But some people are just really good at making that observation relatable and funny.

And I think you're one of those people.

Oh, thanks, man.

Yeah.

I think maybe

it comes from a little bit of like,

you know, that whole, you know, oh, you're not supposed to laugh right now.

Yeah.

Like,

yeah, so what?

This guy just got ran over.

He's naked.

Right.

He's got a boner.

He had an erection.

He's got a huge dong.

Isn't that hilarious?

Isn't that an awesome way to die?

This guy's got a huge can.

They got to bring a second ambulance.

It's a huge wiener.

Isn't that hilarious?

It's true.

You get a boner when you die.

Yeah.

Is that true?

I hope not.

I think it can be true.

You get sick.

You get rid of Mortis.

I hope not too.

I hope not, too.

It's the ultimate insult.

It's the ultimate.

I guess it's the ultimate.

Well, don't you shrank as you get older?

Yeah, you do.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think I'll know what will be left depending on when I go.

You know, I'm with you on that one.

Yeah, if I die at 80 and someone says, like, be careful, he's up,

someone is going to be like, it's fine.

But I think the doctors are saying that because of the prevalence of sialis, these, you know, sialis and Viega and stuff like that, that

men can be sexually active until they die, no matter how old they are.

And then women are going along the road.

That's why you go down to a place like the villages in Florida and you got syphilis running rampant down there.

It's a whole

swinger that's running rampant.

It's a whole swinger community that we talked about.

That's right.

I mean, it is incredible.

The, you know, this is funny because this is like an idea that has just been in my head.

You know, I don't know.

I might use this show, but I was thinking, like, even with Cialis

and Wi-Fi, like, the best we can do for marriages long term is 50%.

Yeah.

You know, like half of them still fail despite having these weapons.

And like

Seattle is crazy to me because you could take that and like hate your partner.

Yes.

But you could still show up.

You get what I'm saying?

Absolutely.

Yeah.

You can still be miserable in every other way.

And biologically still available.

Biologically still available.

That's crazy.

I didn't realize that old people were getting STDs.

Oh, yeah.

Noel, it's like a, it really is running rampant, and doctors are having to

use teenagers because they're like, whatever.

We can't.

Yes.

I'll give you an example.

Straight to Google.

I'm sorry.

Keep going.

Keep going.

Old.

Yeah.

Old people, STDs.

It's a thing.

It's a thing.

Yeah.

This is basically.

Check it out.

So here's an example.

My mom lives in a retirement community, you know, 65 and older.

And

they have a bowl of condoms that is in the office and available to people.

Yes, it's true.

Yeah.

It's crazy.

It's insane.

Because people are, with the availability of these drugs, people are sexually active much later in their life.

I mean, like I said, till the day they die.

And

STDs are a

problem.

They had a lady come in and talk about it.

The board of OnlyFans is rubbing their grubby little hands together.

They love this.

They love grandma porn.

That OnlyFans grandma porn.

That is absurd.

Yeah, so you have you heard of that place, the village is down in Florida?

No.

Okay, the villages is the largest retirement community besides Sun City, which is out in Phoenix.

It's the largest retirement community in the world.

It's huge.

It's huge.

It's like 72 square miles.

And it's a Disney world for older folks.

You can buy a house there.

Get a golf cart.

Get a golf cart.

You just drink.

And there's drugs and sex and alcohol.

There's a whole documentary.

There's a whole documentary.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You got got to check this out.

So Chrissy and I have been keeping an eye on this because we figure we'll be there pretty soon.

Yeah.

And we swinging away.

Yeah, swinging away.

Swinging away, drugging.

Drugging, drinking, whatever.

Because here's my thought.

If you're going to go hog wild on drugs, if you're going to be a coke addict, smoke crack, do crystal meth, don't dabble in it when you're a kid just so you know what it's all about.

But then you go hog wild hard when you retire, when you're close to death, because who fucking cares at that point, right?

If you're a, I don't know, a crack addict.

I mean, you know, I mean, besides your neighbors, who cares?

Like, go ahead, do it.

And these people are doing it down in the villages.

There's all kinds of crazy shit happening down there.

They're definitely doing psychedelics.

Definitely.

They're doing a lot of mushrooms, a lot of weed, and Coke, apparently, is a thing, too.

So it must be,

you know.

Because when you think about when you're younger and you take multiple substances, it takes a certain amount of focus

to like manage that mind state.

I mean, they must be living multiple days in a single night.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hi, and then they take Sialis and they do a little something else.

A little toot.

Yeah.

They almost wake up feeling like, shit.

Am I dead?

I might be.

Yeah.

Nice.

Fascinating.

I didn't.

Wow.

Old people.

I mean, hey.

Yeah.

Look it up.

You might have a, there's a whole, there's a routine there somewhere.

And now they're doing, and now they've got loofahs that they put on their golf carts to indicate if they swing, what kind of swinger they are.

So orange, yellow is like, I'm cautiously optimistic.

Dude, swinging at 70 sounds awful.

Yeah.

Yes.

It sounds awful at 40.

It sounds awful.

It's just

that I want to watch my wife get pounded by her and listen to it or hear it or move it.

You know, if you're going to have an affair with the pool boy, do it like everybody else does while I'm on a business trip.

You know what I'm saying?

Be respectful about it.

I don't want to go to a party and then know you're going to have sex with a 22-year-old Latin male.

Pre-swing small talk must be graining.

Yes.

Yes.

They're on a double first date.

So,

see, and this is where my, like, something like that just brings me existential dread.

If I'm sitting there, and probably, you know, if I was actually a swinger, I probably am a lot hornier than I am in my own body.

But if I'm sitting there with my wife and we got to meet this weird couple that's like, we love love your shirts, I'm like, yeah,

the yeah, no,

you're gonna fuck my wife.

Why are we talking about this?

So he likes two hands on the shaft when we knock him in the head.

I mean, honestly, he's right.

He's 100% right.

That's crazy.

I think it is crazy.

And listen, to each their own, and

more power to the ones that like it.

Yeah, yeah.

Whatever, whatever floats.

Orgy is listening to this podcast right now.

doing you

yes keep doing your thing but if swinging is the is an existential dread then what causes me like dead dread is cucking that to me is like the thing that i go what

happened to you as a child that outsourcing man yeah outsourcing i i and listen if you're like i can understand i get terminally ill And then, you know, my wife, I'm sick for a long time.

I can't perform.

My waist doesn't work.

Down below, my waist doesn't work.

I can understand handing the keys to the car and saying take her for a drive because her battery doesn't die right but what feels really scary to me is the people who are like fully capable but i still want to sit in the closet and watch that's right that's yeah that's just weird that's just weird yeah again teach their own

but for me it's dead dread dead dread i think i think that's like a deep self-hatred i agree i agree i'm worthless and i need to experience it in real time yes now someone, you know, someone who is an avid consumer of their wife having affairs might message me after this and be like, you don't understand.

You're right.

I don't.

I don't get it.

You should just reply.

Stop there.

I don't care.

Yeah.

Good for you.

Noel Miller is on tour right now.

Noel MillerLive.com is where you can tell us for free.

Noel Miller.com.

And by the way, you know,

if you come and and see me on tour, we sell a unique merch line.

You know, most performers, they sell t-shirts, hoodies.

We actually sell our own cuck chair.

There you go.

It folds in four pieces.

It disassembles.

It fits in a carry-on.

Extremely comfortable.

You can take it to whatever weird hotel.

I know hotels typically come equipped with cuck chairs, but this one is sort of like a

break-in case.

It's got an iPhone tripod.

Yeah.

Oh, no, you're right.

I mean, I didn't even get to go over the features.

It's got a built-in fan.

So, you know, like the little fan that you get at a theme park.

Got that with a mister.

Yep.

It does have two USB-C ports.

And you have a standard USB-A port.

Yeah, it was incredible.

And

it also doubles as a laptop cooler.

So there you go.

And for the low, low price of $59.99.

Yeah.

And

a fleshlight.

Yes.

Yeah.

Flashlight for all so that you can get off

you can get off while she's getting off Everyone's getting off.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Now, and this is just, you know, just so we're transparent.

This is not a standard sized fleshlight.

This is a half-light.

So it's managed all the way in there.

This is, you know,

it's just for titillation.

If you're looking for words.

My cheeks hurt.

But we do have t-shirts, too.

We have t-shirts too.

Trucker hats available.

Yeah.

Yeah.

For the lot lizards.

All right.

Noel.

Took it somewhere nasty.

I apologize.

I don't know.

No.

I love it.

No, this is just another episode of the commercial break, by the way.

We've said nothing that we don't already normally say.

Yeah, we just talked about explosive diarrhea on the last episode, so we're taking it to new heights here.

More mediocre comedy for, yeah,

it's not pleasant.

Noel Miller, thank you so much.

We really appreciate you coming back.

Part two, part two.

Thank you very much for

coming back.

Congratulations on the new garage door and congratulations on the baby.

Thank you guys.

All the links.

Congratulations on 852 episodes.

Thank you.

Only 800 more.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, we just signed for 800 more.

So there we go.

Okay, to infinity and beyond.

To infinity and beyond.

That should be our new tagline.

Thank you so much.

Talk to you.

Thank you guys.

All right.

This is awesome.

Bye.

Bye.

Okay, you're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at TCB.

It's pretty simple.

Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute.

Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command.

Do you want to help Astrid too?

You know you do.

Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-433-3TCB.

That's 212-433-3822.

You can be on the show too.

Mm-hmm.

Just call and say something.

Anything.

Or text us and we'll text you right back.

Promise.

Then head over to tcbpodcast.com and get your free sticker.

It's your constitutional right to a sticker and we must abide.

You get the point.

Follow us on Instagram at thecommercial break and watch all the episodes on video at youtube.com slash thecommercial break.

Best to you and Astrid, especially Astrid.

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That went so many places, I don't even know what to say.

I think

that was a lot of fun.

If we were to have Noel here for a few episodes with us, I have a feeling he would fit right in.

I have a feeling he would fit right in with our twisted, sick sense of humor.

He's really funny.

My cheeks hurt.

I was laughing so hard.

That was good.

That was good.

I'm surprised he hasn't caught on to the villages thing yet.

No, I would think a guy like that would have his finger on the pulse of the villages.

Well, he's closer to college than he is to the villages, where we're closer to the villages than we are in college.

So I guess you can kind of understand where that one was going to go.

Noel Miller at Noel MillerLive.com.

Tickets are available for all of his shows right now.

He's on tour through November.

It looks like he'll be here in Atlanta.

Yeah,

Thanksgiving week, though, like the week leading up to Thanksgiving.

Maybe we should

be reaching out to people for tickets.

Yeah.

A field trip to go see Noel at Center Stage.

Yeah.

Where I saw Pauly Shore.

That's right.

I don't think I've seen a comedian there since Pauli Shore.

But I've been to that bar a few times, 10 high, and gotten kicked out.

We've been to that bar a few times.

You got kicked out for playing the drums of the Rage Against the Machine cover band.

Uh-huh.

Do you remember that?

Oh, yeah.

I do, too.

Ah, the good old days.

When getting kicked out of a bar was fun.

Now I make it a point not to get kicked out of the bars that go to.

Anyway, all of Noel's stuff is down in the show notes.

All of the links to the pertinence, the social media, the podcast, the podcast network, YouTube.

I don't know what else to say.

He's got so much shit.

I think this is going to be like four pages worth of links when it comes down to it.

But thank you very much, Noel, for coming and wrapping it up with us.

Proper gentleman.

Proper gentlemen.

And his baby was sleeping the whole time.

At first, I was wondering why he was talking so softly, because I remember last time he wasn't, and then I figured it out.

He doesn't want to wake up the fucking kid.

Never wake up a sleeping baby.

Nope.

Never.

All right.

So, yeah, we'll be back tomorrow with more fun and shenanigans.

Got a good episode lined up for you, so do tune in, download that, follow us on your favorite podcast player, leave a nice review if you're so inclined, or you can go to our Instagram and follow us at thecommercial break.

You can try and follow us on TikTok if you can find us.

TCB podcast.

I don't know if there's any content up there, but feel free.

I think we have like 100 people that follow us.

But we haven't posted anything in two years.

So there you go.

There's that too.

Maybe we should do that.

So think about TikTok.

Youtube.com slash the commercial break for all of the episodes on video where permissible.

I just found out one of our videos got banned in Russia.

In Russia because I was talking about Russians.

Oh, really?

Yes.

All the audio, all the video, your free sticker at the contact us button.

Also, 212-433-3TCB, 212-433-3822.

Questions, comments, concerns, contents, ideas, hit us up.

We'd love to hear from you.

Okay, Chrissy.

I guess that's all I'm going to do for today.

I think so.

I'll tell you that I love you.

And I love you.

I'll say best to you.

Best to you.

Best to you out there in the podcast universe to infinity and beyond.

Until next time, we will say we do say we must say.

Goodbye.

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