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Oh my god, Travis and Taylor finally tying the knot.

How exciting.

Honestly, I was hoping it would work out the entire time.

As a guy who lives with a house full of Swifties, I can tell you that never have I been more excited to be a guy who lives in a house full of Swifties.

I mean, what more could you ask for?

Honestly.

Hello.

Hello.

How are you?

Oh, I'm your wallet, and I'm so excited, too.

Well, I'm trying to make a a reel here.

I get it, I understand.

I'm sorry to interrupt, but I just wanted to remind you that Taylor and Travis are getting married, and there's gonna be posters, and t-shirts, and double albums, and streaming, and pay-per-view weddings, and Time magazine, and People magazine, and shoes, and jingle jangles, and wristbands.

Oh my gosh, I'm gonna get such a workout.

You better ask for that increase of credits.

You're welcome.

I'll be back real soon, I'm sure.

On this episode of the Commercial Break,

the Jamie Kern Lima Show podcast.

Okay, all right, if that's not confusing enough, also a guest shark on Shark Tank, best-selling author and founder of It Cosmetics.

Okay.

Her voice

is...

Now, a lot of people have said this about me too, so I'm not throwing stones in a glass house, but her voice drives me crazy.

It is a valley girl with all of that.

what do they call that throat uh whatever it is

building their confidence and their self-esteem a word that i use a lot with them is yet

you know and how to reframe things for a kid's when they're like i can't do it i can't do it yet

no i'm not

the next episode of the commercial break starts now

Oh yeah, Captain Kittens, Welcome back to the commercial break.

I'm Brian Greene.

This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris, enjoying only best to you, Chris.

Best to you, Brian.

Best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Good to have you back in the studio.

Yes.

After a little absence, short week last week, little absence,

my wife was very upset with me because yesterday I mentioned that we had MRSA running around the house.

And she said, what will all the people at the school think?

And I said, we're covered in open wounds.

What do you think they think?

We have leprosy.

No, I'm kidding.

It's all done.

It's all gone.

We're all good.

We've now recovered from our

bout with staph and encephalitis and

staph infection.

We had a bad.

We did.

It was kind of a perfect storm.

I think we might have picked it up at Disney and then got worse when we went down to South Florida in 107-degree heat with 99.9% humidity.

Yeah, nothing grows there.

Nothing, not a thing.

No kind of viruses.

No.

I had

property in florida because somebody else that i knew was rich and paid for it and when i was in charge of managing it not because i was like some big you know real estate mogul but for a short period of time i had real estate down in florida and the things you would have to do to even the inside of the property to ensure that literal dinosaur fungus would not grow on the inside of your toilet was amazing.

You were constantly using harsh chemicals to ensure you couldn't open the door.

Like, it was a whole thing.

So, yes, South Florida is full of flora and fungi, if you will.

Flora, fauna, and fungi, Chrissy.

But I'm happy to report that it's all gone.

Yes, the three F's, the fucking, the fighting, and the forgetting.

It's all gone.

Everybody's feeling better now.

Everyone's on the mend.

I think all the open wounds have managed to close themselves.

But I'll tell you what I noticed when I went, you know, I've been to 16 to 17 different school-related activities in just the last two weeks.

Why?

The kids haven't even been in school for one day and we need a parent-teacher conference.

What could you possibly know about my kid yet?

You've seen him for five hours.

And maybe they want to get prepped.

And let me give you the lowdown.

They're going to be terrible.

They're going to tax your every nerve.

They're miserable.

Oh, yours are not.

I love them.

Yeah, you have to go to so many meetings at the beginning of the year, orientations, and teacher meetings, and security, and what do we do with this, and tornado drills.

And it just seems like a lot of it seems like it's a lot more than when we were precursor activity to just going to school.

Like, I don't remember my parents ever going to any kind of, maybe they did, and I just wasn't aware of it.

I think maybe an orientation.

I remember like the orientation and parent-teacher conferences, but God, I hated those parent-teacher conferences, Chrissy.

Nothing filled me quite like dread after the fourth grade.

Because I remember

angel, so

But were you really?

I was.

Were you a prissy student?

Like a

prissy prancer, as I like to call my daughters.

You're prissy prancers.

You go in there and you do everything correctly.

Let me share with you that I was not.

And this may come as a surprise to anybody who listens to the show, but I was a total shithead.

And while I wasn't like a troublemaker, I didn't go out and like, you know.

beat up kids.

I wasn't a bully or anything like that.

I just got into mischief.

I was mischievous.

Yes.

I I found that the only kind of attention that I would get was when I was being funny or clownish.

And so I would do that, not in a disruptive way, but that would lead to mischief that then would lead to some kind of trouble, like 20 to 50 pixie sticks in a hotel air conditioner on a overnight trip, on the one overnight trip we took in all of grade school.

Well, that's kind of an honest kid mistake, though, really.

I mean, you just don't, you don't, you can't grasp at that age that stuff really will like cause damage to things unless you did know that and you did it anyways.

I think I was a pretty sharp tool.

I don't know what happened over the years.

I've lost that, but I think I was a pretty sharp tool.

I think I understood that what we were doing in the moment was not the best thing that we could be doing.

And it most likely would be frowned upon should anybody figure it out.

What gets me every time, and I guess I don't know what we would have cleaned it up with, but we did all this damage to this hotel room and then thought nothing of cleaning it.

We actually left it that way for everybody to find in the morning.

We fell asleep on the pizza and pixie stick covered, you know, beds and then woke up in the morning figuring.

You hopped up on all that sugar.

That's what I think it was.

I think it was just a sugar high.

And the sugar will give the kids a high.

That's for sure.

Oh, yeah.

But I dreaded nothing, nothing more than a parent.

teacher conference night.

I dreaded it because I wasn't the best student academically.

I didn't apply myself.

I very rarely did my homework, if ever.

And the teachers, while I always felt like I had some kind of relationship with the teachers, see, I like to make the students laugh, and then I like to make the teachers laugh too.

Yeah.

So I think they thought I was a friendly kid.

But, you know, parents only suffer so much bullshit.

Like adults only suffer so much bullshit from kids.

Like, I know my kid will avoid brushing his teeth all night long if he can just have a conversation with me about Disney or he can make me laugh or he can point out something that he's done.

But I see right through it.

I see what you're doing.

It takes one to know.

That's right.

You're avoiding your responsibility of brushing your teeth.

So eventually the suffering of the bullshit, they will suffer no more.

And so I just remember that distinct feeling of dread when

my parents would say, so-and-so is coming to babysit you because it's parent-teacher conference night.

And then I always knew there was going to be a lecture.

after they got home, shortly after they got home.

After the babysitter was shuffled off back to her house and my dad came in the door.

I knew it was going to be a sit-down conversation.

It happened almost exclusively every time after fourth or fifth grade.

By the time I got to high school, I don't even think my dad bothered showing up anymore.

Parent t-shirt confidence meetings.

I think he felt like, why am I taking this shit?

Why am I responsible for this?

He's a grown man.

Let him do his own thing.

I don't really remember them in high school.

Yeah.

Maybe.

Oh, maybe that was just my parents being called in individually.

Right.

Maybe that was just my dad being called in individually.

I do remember.

I do remember my parents being called in.

There was a.

Is there a particular time that you stands out?

I think I've told this story.

Maybe I haven't.

I'll share it.

I'll share it in case I haven't.

I was a freshman.

I had an English teacher, like a, you know, English literature teacher.

She was on the younger side.

I still remember her name.

I won't give it here, but she was on the younger side.

So maybe she was in her 20s.

And she wasn't like, you know, hot for teacher kind of hot, but she was one of the younger teachers at a Catholic school.

And so I think some of the guys thought that she was attractive and she was friendly with some of the girls.

She was like the cool teacher.

She was a cool teacher.

Yeah, she was the cool teacher.

And I remember me and this teacher had a connection.

I think she gave a shit about me.

I think she knew that my home life was a little bit troubled at the time.

She reached out.

She tried to help.

I remember a couple of different occasions when there were outside school activities where she would be like a football game or there was a waffle.

You know, we would go to a Waffle House all the time, smoke cigarettes and drink coffee.

She would show up on occasion there.

It wasn't unusual at that time.

Listen, this was different kind of P-doing.

It wasn't like, you know, Jeffrey Epstein kind of thing.

It was just like, you know, light slap on the ass kind of pee to.

You're light p-dooing, if you will.

And she

showed up at the Waffle House on a couple different occasions and would sit there while we were smoking cigarettes and talk to us.

And so she was the cool teacher.

But when we got to sophomore year, I ended up in her class again for English lit.

And halfway through the year, I remember that my parents were called in.

My mom went to the school.

And about a week later,

I was moved out of that classroom into a different teacher's classroom.

And my mom, without explanation, they just said, you've got a new, you know, Brian, you're going to a new, you're going to this class now.

And I thought, what i like that teacher why am i doing that it's just a change of schedule that's the way it is that's what you're going to do okay

and uh

my mom told me a couple weeks later that when she was called in she was called in because there was some discomfort around the relationship that the teacher had specifically with me and that they felt it was best that i be in another classroom the authorities the higher-ups had

the school had some resurrection and i don't know if that came from the teacher herself okay or I mean, I was certainly wasn't like hitting on the teacher.

I mean, I'm like 15 years old.

Am I hitting on a teacher?

I wasn't hitting on the teacher.

I believe this may have been coming from other people in the school.

Maybe she was getting a little too close for comfort at times with some of the students.

And I was targeted as

part of the group.

And of course, I was part of the group.

I was always part of the group that was targeted for discipline.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I was like a poster child for discipline.

They had a disciplinary officer at my school.

Like, did you have one of those at your school?

I don't really remember that.

No.

Yeah, I remember we had a demerit system.

Did you have a demerit system?

Well,

I remember like the kids getting an in-school suspension, like that kind of thing.

Yeah, no, so we had demerits.

So, like, if your tie wasn't a certain length, if you were not in your classroom within a minute of the bell.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right.

Demerits.

Yeah, if you were smoking a cigarette in your car, you could get demerits.

And like three demerits equaled, I don't know, you couldn't go to the football game or something.

You know, five demerits was a

detention.

Sure.

Ten demerits was an in-school suspension.

Or you could go straight to

suspension and do not pass go.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That was one of those things.

That's right.

And so there was a disciplinary officer.

That was like her job was to run around.

And she was like a former nun.

Her job was to run around making people miserable, essentially.

I remember her name too.

And she was universally disliked by everybody at the school.

Of course she was, but especially universally disliked by the troublemaking crowd, of which I was a part.

Your crew.

That's right.

By my crew.

She had eyes on us all the time.

We all the time.

She would go to cars and look for packs of cigarettes is what she would do.

Wow.

Even though it was not particularly uncommon, this is how old I am.

It was not particularly uncommon at that time.

for high school students to smoke cigarettes.

Oh, no.

I remember smoking happening in the bathroom and stuff like that.

At our campus, at our high school campus, the year before we got there was the year that they banned smoking

on campus.

They had long time ago banned smoking inside the building.

Yeah.

But the students could still go outside into the common area or outside into the front of the school, outside the front of the school and smoke cigarettes.

So my freshman, and sometimes in my sophomore year, you could still find people out in the lawn in the front of the school smoking cigarettes.

The seniors and the juniors, I think the seniors got an exemption.

They were smoking cigarettes.

But all of us smoked cigarettes.

Everybody smoked cigarettes.

It seemed like at some point or another.

But because you could not smoke them on the campus anymore, if you were smoking in your car, then you could get a demerit.

And I remember that lady walking around our cars trying to see if she could find cigarette boxes, you know, boxes of cigarettes so she could potentially give us a demerit.

Fucker.

I mean, honestly.

Well, I guess it was her job.

It was her job.

So I don't have to worry about any of that.

None of my kids are over the age of, you know, eight.

So I'm not worried about that quite yet.

but i'm already at parent-teacher conferences where i you know i don't particularly know what we're talking about the first day of school what are we doing is it just to kind of set up what is going to happen this is very much uh both the schools that all the children attend there's two different schools because they're in two different age groups they they're very they have a very family feel to them.

And so everyone is very involved.

And I like that.

I think that's very important.

It's something I did not have with my parents.

The schools I went to were not like that.

They didn't have class moms.

They didn't have any of that stuff, right?

They have room mothers.

The PTA wasn't non-existent.

Parents would just sometimes get together in groups and do stuff for fall festival or whatever.

But very few of those things happened either.

But at one particular school that

some of my children go to,

it's like every weekend there's a different thing.

Yeah.

We went.

So it's a half week, right?

It's the start.

It's a half week.

You have one day is orientation.

You're going to ease them back in.

You ease them back in.

Then the next day they go to school, but it's a fun day and they're there and they're figuring out their classrooms.

They're not really doing much.

And then the next day is a full day of school and they're kind of getting used to any new classrooms, new teachers, new students.

Everyone's having a good time saying hello to each other.

And in those three days, the parents have like three different things to attend.

But then on Friday night, there is a picnic, like a family picnic.

All these grades come and we're going to put out a huge inflatable water slide, bouncy houses, bouncy houses.

We're going to cook hot dogs.

We're going to have food, games, activities.

The teachers are going to paint faces.

We're going to play music.

And all the kids are just going to go out there and party.

And my kid, one of my kids comes home super excited about this.

Yeah.

But I'm clueless because I don't.

Do you think Brian pays attention to that calendar?

No, he does not.

But he's like, we have to go.

We have to go.

And I think to myself,

what are we talking about?

I don't know anything about a family fun night.

I have plans.

I have to put you to bed.

I have to put you to bed.

How could we, this is bedtime.

How can we do this?

But we go, and it's like a ton.

The kids are fucking having such a great time.

They're out there in the mud and the grass and riding down this water slide that's full of additional cell manila and encephalitis

and eating hot dogs and getting their faces painted and running around with their friends.

And I just think to myself, this was not my education.

This was not my experience as a child.

And if I had had even a touch of this, like where my parents came to the school and they were involved in family fun night and painting faces and having hot dogs and going down water slides, that maybe I would have enjoyed school a little bit more.

Maybe it would have been something I actually would have looked forward to attending.

Absolutely.

I remember my mom was involved.

She was like room mother once or or twice, and she'd put together things.

And yeah, there were, there was PTA.

There was a lot of stuff.

My dad wasn't that involved, but my mom was.

Yeah, but your dad was working, right?

He was.

And there were three girls.

And yeah, it was a lot.

So your mom was a part of the school.

She was like in touch.

She was there.

She was in touch.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think that also has something to do with my personal relationship with school and whether or not I felt like it was something I, you know,

family-ish, even though I went went to a catholic school right i mean let's be honest about it i went to a catholic school it's not like you know catholic schools have a reputation for a reason yeah there's a bunch of warm warm and fuzzy there

and it depends on which teacher you have and i think things may be different now but back then there were still nuns and priests that were teaching inside of the school i'm sure there are still priests and nuns that are somewhat attached to the school yeah but back then it was more like a kind of like a military

sound like it every time you talk about it yeah it wasn't like warm and fuzzy and i I just don't remember.

Maybe there were a bunch of after-school activities for families and stuff like that, and we just didn't happen to go to them.

This was 20 miles away from my house.

So I think my dad was just kind of tired at the end of the day.

He's like, I'm not driving all the way fucking downtown to take you to family fun night.

I'll cook some hot dogs here.

I'm going to go up and watch the Bulls game, and you can crank up your guitar and annoy the rest of the house.

How's that, Brian?

Okay.

But I just look at these schools now and I think to myself, this is, you know, for whatever

shitty things are going on in today's society and the education system is broken and it's, you know, a place is really terrible.

There are certain things that I think we've made leaps and bounds on.

And one of those is the parents are involved.

The involvement.

Well, I think that's a generational thing, too.

I think you might be right.

Yeah, because I think, you know, with the generations before, it was kind of like, eh, go out and play and do your thing and mommy's going to take her helpers.

But mommy's taking her little helpers.

Yeah, I'll be here smoking cigarettes.

Yeah, exactly.

So I think it's just a different mindset too, especially too with the advent of social media, you know?

Yeah, true.

You got to show those cute pictures.

Yeah, there's a fucking WhatsApp group.

You're going to be shamed if you don't

involved.

There you go.

And listen, you know, I...

All valid, great points.

I also think that now parents in general are more involved in their parents and their students, like for some good and some bad.

I understand that, you know,

you got to be careful about helicopter parenting.

And that's a real fine line.

And sometimes I don't even know where it lies.

I'm not claiming to be an expert on that.

I'm sure I baby my children at times too much.

And then I'm sure I'm

probably like my dad in some ways in other places.

But

school is not a drop-off zone.

Right.

It's a place where you're accepting my children.

That's my flesh and blood.

Like I want to be involved in some way, shape, or form.

And I get it.

Not every parent can be like that.

Sometimes you just have to go out there and hustle and make a living and make sure your kids are also financially taken care of.

It's not for every parent to be that involved in school.

And if we couldn't go to the family fun night because something else was more important, we wouldn't have gone.

But I went and I just like, I'm making the comparisons in my always comparing my own experience to my children's experience and thinking to myself, holy shit, just one water slide in my life, just one encephalitis-filled,

mud-slopped, you know, dead grass-filled, swampy water water slide.

And my whole educational career could have been different.

I could have been a doctor or a lawyer or a QuickBooks expert.

Or an accountant.

An accountant.

All right.

Well, listen, last week we had a ton of fun because we only recorded for like one hour last week.

So we had a ton of fun doing nothing, basically.

But we got a lot of great feedback about two of our guests.

I'd like to talk more about them, Chrissy, if you don't.

Now, mind Brett Gelman, and then we followed it up right with Dusty Slay.

And then I want to talk about the royal family of Norway, who are causing quite a stir.

Have you heard about all of this?

I've heard a little bit about some stuff, but there's some very bad boys and girls in Norway.

In that Norway, some criminals,

straight-up criminals.

What's that?

Are there affairs going on?

Affairs and Nor and princesses marrying dun dun dun dun black guys.

Oh,

but then there's like real bullshit, like you know, rapists and stuff like that.

So Norway.

Listen, we were all paying attention to

Harry and Twiddle and Twannel over there

having a cockfight in the front grounds of Windsor Castle.

And what we should have been paying attention to was Norway.

Norway.

That's where the real drama is happening.

We'll take a break.

We'll talk more about it.

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on TCB.

And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue.

Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears, and I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail.

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Now I'm gonna go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors and then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break.

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Okay, so last week we had two different guests that we pushed out.

You know, we recorded Dusty

on Thursday.

It usually takes us at least a week to get the guests' interviews out just because of all the editing that needs to be done and video and stuff like that.

But we decided to flip it around real quick.

And we've only had Dusty out for a day, and people are really excited about Dusty Slay and his interviews.

We have a lot more Dusty Slay fans than I would have anticipated that we have.

I really liked him a lot.

Did you check out Wet Heat?

I did some of it.

Not though.

I haven't had the chance to watch the whole thing.

When

Astrid asked me about a year and a half ago, or whenever, when did the Nate Bargazzi special come out?

About a year ago?

Yeah, about a year ago.

Okay.

So about a year ago, Astrid said, you want to do a Netflix and chill night with me and we'll watch Nate Bargazi.

I like him.

Now, I knew Nate was the guy from Nateland.

I knew Nate was a very popular comedian.

I'd seen many, many of his social media reels, but he never really struck me as like my favorite comedian.

And that's, I'm just just an honest opinion, right?

I was always like, yeah, he's funny, you know, but,

you know, sometimes you just like you vibe with a certain type of comedy or music or whatever.

Uh-huh.

It wasn't that instant.

I didn't fall in love.

It wasn't love at first sight, Chrissy.

Okay.

But then Astrid said, you want a Netflix and chill with the Nate special.

And I said, oh, okay.

You know, sometimes you got to watch stuff because your wife likes it or your husband likes it.

So we watched that special.

And it takes me about 20 minutes to even get into what's going on because Nate does that.

At least in this special, he started off so slow and plotting and thoughtful and pensive and a lot of space in between words.

And I thought to myself, okay, well, I guess we're in for a night of, you know, six seconds in between each word.

Nate's going to say.

But by 20 minutes in,

I was really laughing so fucking hard because Nate uses his body, his eyes, and his words economically in a way where he's,

it's like we're fish, there's a hook in our mouth, and he's yanking us in exactly in the direction that we want to go.

He's a tactician, as I, as I think, as I think,

yeah, as I believe Dusty is.

And he really got me.

Not one fuck shit or ass in the entire thing, I don't think.

I don't think there's any curse words in it.

Which, again, not, is not my, like, I wouldn't say that I'm a guy who likes clean comedy necessarily.

If it's good, it's good.

Yeah, that's the thing.

I don't feel like I'm one way or the other.

But, you know, if it's funny to me, then it's funny.

Yeah, that's right.

It's like, you know, gay porn, straight porn.

I could really do either or as long as it's good porn.

Do you know what I'm saying?

Exactly.

Usually women porn when it's gay, but you don't understand what I'm saying.

Okay.

So the same thing happened to me with the first Dusty Slay special and now the second Dusty Slay special.

I think it starts off a little bit more poppy.

He's less economical with his words.

He's not as slow and thoughtful as Nate is.

Nate's got a very unique delivery.

But Dusty's very good at what he does.

And I thought that special, if we're going to give it a score, I'm going 8.75 out of 10.

Okay.

If like, you know, George George Carlin at the Met is like a 10 out of 10 or Mitch Hedberg is a 10 out of 10, then I'm going 8.75.

8.75, Chrissy.

That's a high score.

It's a high score.

But he's got to have some room to improve there because, you know, he's got a new hour and we've got to see what he does there.

Yeah, he's already doing new stuff.

He's already doing new stuff on tour.

So I just wanted to share with everybody, I think it's well worth an hour and some change of your time to go watch Dusty's special.

And I don't usually, I mean, sometimes we do, but it's not every guest.

it's not every comedian where I go and follow up with another recommendation to go watch his special.

But I thought it was, uh, I thought it was very good.

And people apparently like him.

People apparently like him because they're texting right away.

That's another thing is usually people don't text at all.

But now that we have Dusty on, they want to text us and tell us how wonderful Dusty is.

Well, I'm so glad we were able to make it work.

Yeah, I'm so glad something finally got you to text the commercial break.

Thanks for that.

And then Brett Gelman.

And what do we say about Brett Gelman that he hasn't already said himself about himself?

Brett Gelman

is

a star in one of the most popular shows on earth.

And

people instantly recognize him and they got very excited about Brett being on the show.

Strange fantastic.

Yeah.

And I have to say, I watched his show.

that he was talking about during the interview.

And it is

interesting.

I like Brett.

I love Brett.

And I loved parts of

the special.

I saw the special of what, six episodes?

Yeah, I think that's being very judicious.

I think that's being very judicious.

It was very different.

But he's still him in it.

And so that part was funny.

And there were certainly some other parts.

It is, it's like nothing I've ever seen before.

Horror,

comedy, horror, and comedy, horror, drama, mystery.

And a little of the,

not the occult, but the oldristomy, if you will.

It's a cadristomy on Amazon.

Supernatural, maybe.

Yes.

Throw it in there.

Brett told us, you know, we spend a few minutes with the guests

before the part you hear, and then after the part you hear, usually, you know, saying salutations and greetings, just to make sure that, you know, we're not totally raw dogging the interview.

We want to say, hey, welcome to the show.

I'm Chrissy.

I'm Brian.

Here's how it's going to go.

Let us know if there's anything you do or don't want to talk about.

And usually that leads to a little bit of rapport beforehand.

And Brett said to us, I've got this new show.

I've been toiling with it for five years.

And finally somebody bought it.

And I'm telling you right now, it's probably going to be the weirdest thing you've ever seen in your entire life.

I'm very proud of it, but I don't exactly know how to explain it.

You know, it's a vampire

drama, murder comedy.

And I'm like, oh, okay.

Right up my alley.

Sounds right up my alley.

But I'm not sure it was right up my alley.

I'm just being honest.

I know.

I thought it was

watchable for sure.

I can see why it took a while to sell it.

I can see why some executives sat in a room, watched it, and thought to themselves, huh?

Huh.

Well, how are the analytics going to deliver this one?

I like the fact that there was no previous.

form.

It wasn't a formulaic show.

No, that's for sure.

It's not a Seinfeld episode.

It's not a show about nothing.

That's for sure it's a weird strange

mishmash of a bunch of different stuff and i think there are some moments to great effect but then i think there are some moments and maybe i just need to watch the thing all the way through well yes did you watch it all the way through jeff did i left him with it because i had to go go be somewhere he was like really

Then now I have to continue watching this to see what happens.

And did he finish?

He filled me in when I got back.

And he was like, yeah,

it continued down the same vein.

Well, listen, Brett was great.

But Brett is incredible.

Brett is great.

And there's going to be hits and misses.

Not everybody's going to like everything.

And I think Chrissy and I in some ways have this similar sensibilities.

So maybe it's just not for us.

But you go watch it.

Art is interpretive.

Very interpretive.

And

Brett is

been in so many things.

Just all the stuff that he did on Adult Swim, I think makes him worthy of any conversation and welcome back anytime.

But then on top of that, his Stranger Things turn.

Which I'm excited to see that.

Yeah.

It's going to take up the whole holidays, right?

That's kind of the reason why I brought this up is because, you know, we put a reel out, and then I thought about this one more time.

It takes some real fucking cahutses,

some huge banana leaves for the executives at Netflix to say, you know what we're going to do?

We're going to ruin your Christmas.

We're going to ruin your Thanksgiving.

And then on top of that, we're going to ruin your new year by releasing the world's favoritest show on those three days so that you have no time to spend with your family and everybody's going to be watching Stranger Things because that's what's going to happen.

And maybe it'll bring families together.

Maybe that was their thinking.

Hey, listen, that too, but there's going to be guys and girls who want to watch football and have to make a big decision about which one.

I guess the good news is on streaming.

You can play at any time.

Yeah.

I wonder, there's probably a lot of guys out there who are going to watch Stranger Things first and then watch the football game on TV.

I mean, it takes a lot of balls to put this up against the sports and the other traditional things that you watch on Thanksgiving, like football, basketball on

Christmas, the Thanksgiving Day parade, New Year's Eve celebrations, or all of the bowl games that'll be on January 1st.

This is a

fuck you to the conventional entertainment industry, I think is what this is.

Oh, and you've got to hit it.

Milk it.

Yeah, but you got to know, you got to, you got to know for sure.

You got the numbers to compete, to pull people away from other stuff.

And so Netflix must, and they don't give away their streaming numbers.

So you don't really know.

Are a billion people watching every season?

Are there 300 million people?

But I think, if I'm not mistaken, Stranger Things is one of the most streamed television shows in history.

I think friends and Seinfeld and other stuff like that certainly have in the office.

They came out with a new office or a new type of office show.

Did you see that?

It's called The Paper.

Really?

Yeah.

And so it's about, you know, they're doing that same documentary style thing.

Is this the follow-up that

What's Her Name was Talking About on our show?

Is it by Greg Daniels?

I don't know, but it's like, it's very, very similar take on this.

And the Oscar plays a role in it, too.

Oh, he does?

Yeah.

I just watched the trailer for it the other day.

The paper

show.

Let me see.

The follow-up to The Office.

Yeah.

The Paper.

One season.

And where is this going?

Where can we see this, Chrissy?

Peacock, maybe?

I don't even know for sure that's actually out yet.

Because I went to go watch it and I think it's coming soon.

Alex Edelman is in it.

This is the official following up on the story of The Office.

The documentary crew that immortalized Dunder Mifflin's Scranton branch discovers a disappearing Midwest newspaper and the publisher trying to revive it with reporters.

This mockumentary follows the daily lives and dreams of blah, blah, blah.

It looks pretty funny, but it's going to be hard to recreate that same magic.

There's going to be no chance that they recreate that.

I'll give it a chance.

I'll give it a chance, too.

Like I said, Oscar's in it.

Okay, ready?

Let's listen.

And I like the one that Oscar's like, no fucking way I'm doing this again.

Okay.

Enovate sells products made out of paper.

Toilet tissue, toilet seat protectors, and local newspapers.

And that is in order of quality.

Here is one of my articles I'm particularly proud of.

I'm scrolling and I'm scrolling and I'm learning a lot.

Okay.

Yeah.

All right.

It's got potential.

I'm 30 seconds in and I see where this is going.

All right.

Okay.

I'll give it a jander.

The thing about

the thing about the like I hope it does great.

It's hard to make magic happen twice.

It's a lightning strike twice in the exact same tone and texture that it did.

Few movies have done it.

Even fewer television shows have done it.

I mean, think of of a sequel television show that's really, really done well.

Which one is that?

You know, I can't think of it.

SpongeBob Square?

I mean, I don't know.

I don't know which sequel television show that I can even think of that did well

at all.

So my opinion is like, go for it.

You know, West Wing is one of my favorite television shows of all time.

Yes.

And for decades now, almost, they've been talking about rebooting the West Wing.

Batter Call Saul.

That's what I can think of.

Okay, okay.

But it's very rare.

It's very rare.

And

even though the stories marry at the end, you know the ending point.

You see where it's going.

You understand what the end is going to be.

It is so original.

There is so much difference in the two television shows, besides the one character or the couple characters that marry those universes.

It is so much different in a lot of ways that it stands on its own.

You could never watch Breaking Bad and watch Better Call Saul and only would need to understand the ending of Breaking Bad, maybe the last five episodes, four episodes.

But this seems like a carbon copy.

Yeah.

But then again, The Office was a carbon copy of another television show called The Office.

This is true.

And did much better than The Original Office, even though a lot of people point to the original.

I didn't like the original Office.

That was my.

it wasn't mine it wasn't my thing either i tried i thought it was a little mean spirited where there was something very soft and sweet about and i think well the steve carell i mean that's the thing you get steve carell with the original office and he's just he's one of a kind steve carell yeah it's hard it's gonna be hard to drop that type of character into the new one jim pam steve dwight shroot yeah and then fill it in with all the background characters that did such a fucking fantastic job each and every one of them becomes their own little nugget, their own little jewel.

You want to hear what they have to say.

Each time they pop up on screen, you're happy that they're there.

There's not a dud in the group.

Like even Kelly Kapowski.

Oh, I want to see Kelly Kapowski.

Yeah, no, all of them were fantastic.

Yeah.

So here's to hoping that they find the same kind of chemistry, but that chemistry also, there's a magic that happens there.

What's her name?

What was her name was on the show?

Yes.

Meredith.

I can't remember her name now.

Why can't I remember her name?

Anyway, Meredith, the lady who played Meredith was on our show, and she said, if I had one regret in life, it's that I didn't sit in those moments, sit in that, like when we were filming, when we were there, when we were the hottest thing since sliced, and realize what a magic moment this really is, that you don't usually get this twice, right?

All these people making this kind of television history in a way that is really gelling and you just kind of sit there and absorb it.

So here's to hoping.

We'll see.

I hope.

Sorry, I took you off topic though.

We were just talking about streaming.

Streaming.

And shows and the office.

Yes.

Well, here's what I was going to say about streaming.

This is my larger point about streaming and television is that the television is really, finally, officially broken.

It's just broken.

Late night television is soon to be gone.

I don't think Jimmy Kimmel will renew his contract.

We already know what's happening at the late show.

The great, great late show with Stephen Golbert is unfortunately, we can all argue about reasons, but is unfortunately no longer going to be around.

He's got to pop up somewhere else.

He will be on a podcast and it will be on video and he will be.

probably as popular as Conan Needs a Friend.

You know, Conan did the right thing.

Conan went

where the viewership was, the earbuls were, and he has largely made a ton of fucking money and gotten all the cachet that he needs doing a podcast just like we do.

He has exactly the same amount of cachet that the commercial break does.

Yes.

Conan, open invitation to come on the show.

I don't even think,

you know, we get a lot of people on this show, but I don't even think Conan's people accept our phone calls when we say, hey, can you go get Conan?

I don't even think they return emails.

Because they see us as a threat, Chrissy.

That's why, really.

Okay.

But everybody's gone.

Stern is probably likely.

The old guard of television and radio, television and radio are officially dead.

Podcasting, vodcasting, whatever the fuck we're calling it these days is the new medium and streaming.

But Netflix accomplished something that I think even they may not have intended to do, and that is break television.

It will never be the same again.

And I say that because late night is a beloved format, but it hasn't been relevant in years.

Yeah.

And Jimmy Kimmel.

Well, a lot of people aren't watching the main networks anymore, except for sports.

Yeah, that's it.

And that's really the only reason television exists.

Those channels exist.

Reruns, sports, and prestige TV.

That's it.

If you give them a reason to come, like a breaking bat or a better call saw, you'll get them to show up once a fucking week.

Otherwise, stream it and try and figure out how to get someone to pay $4.99 a month for it.

We tried to get someone to figure out how to pay $4.99 a month for this, and we got one, one subscriber.

One, guys.

How great is that?

That was episode 10 when we were trying to do that.

But all right, we're way past the break.

Let's take a break.

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See, Brian?

That really wasn't that difficult now, was it?

You're welcome.

I've never felt like this before.

It's like you just get me.

I feel like my true self with you.

Does that sound crazy?

And it doesn't hurt that you're gorgeous.

Okay, that's it.

I'm taking you home with me.

I mean, you can't find shoes this good just anywhere.

Find a shoe for every you from brands you love like Birkenstock, Nike, Adidas, and more at your DSW store or dsw.com.

You know, we have all been paying attention to Harry and Bob or whatever the other guy's name is and their wives and all the mischief that they've been up to.

We have all been paying attention to them entirely too much, in my opinion.

I said this one, you know.

Yeah, I agree.

I'm not a big royal, no, like obsessive royal person.

But you know what i can get into i can get into megan markle with that girl on that podcast have you seen those clips going around

let me i'll play one for you okay uh

let me play one for you megan

podcast interview um

interview I don't even have to put her last name.

It'll already know who I'm talking about.

Here you go.

Quote unquote, the most insufferable conversation ever.

Are you ready for this?

Okay, here we go.

Great.

All right.

Here's part one.

First question, because I think in friendship, it's so important.

And I think so many people also have this question for you is, you know, Megan, how are you?

And are you okay?

That's so kind.

I am.

I'm better than okay.

How are you?

I know you always make it about me.

Today, which by the way, I just have to say,

you are the most generous friend.

You show up for your friends.

today

i just get to talk about you oh i'm excited

how are you doing this is a girl that i have no idea uh

we i had no idea this this person existed um hold on let me see

jamie

kern lima the host of the jamie Kern Lena show podcast, which is a terrible name for a podcast.

The Jamie Kern Lima show podcast.

Okay.

All right.

If that's not confusing enough, also a guest shark on Shark Tank,

best-selling author and founder of It Cosmetics.

Okay.

Her voice

is.

Now, a lot of people have said this about me too.

So I'm not throwing stones in a glass house, but her voice drives me crazy.

It is a valley girl with all of that.

What do they call that?

Throat, whatever it is.

With them is yet.

You know, and how to reframe things for a kid's when you're like, I can't do it.

I can't do it yet.

No, I'm not.

Well, anyways, look, we're focused on our now.

Let's the more that you put into practice these ideas of like, put yet at the end of nearly every sentence and you feel like there's still hope and a promise that you can do it.

Yes.

But when I type that to my children before I go to bed, guess what?

Like I'm teaching that to them or I'm reinforcing that, but I'm also reinforcing it for myself.

Yes.

Like I don't know yet.

Yes.

I'm not sure.

You're just going to say that applies to every adult.

That applies to me right now, all of us.

Yeah.

Yet.

Oh, such a powerful word.

Yet.

Chrissy, we haven't gotten that $20 million contract.

Yeah.

Yet.

Chrissy, no one, neither of us have been to jail.

Yet.

Chrissy, we haven't died.

Yet.

It's in fucking sufferable.

So while we're all paying attention to these folks, guess what's happening in Norway?

Do tell.

Norway is the real drama.

Okay.

I mean, it's cold there.

They've got a cool train, I think, that goes up through the Arctic Circle.

They've got the northern lights.

Give me some good stuff.

Norway sounds like a great place, right?

Home of beautiful,

beautiful people.

But apparently, and home to some of the most popular royals in the world by population.

They are extraordinarily popular with their population, which is a very small population, by the way.

Not a ton of people live in Norway.

I didn't realize they had royals still.

They do.

And don't ask me how it works.

I don't know if it's a Royal Republic.

Who fucking knows?

I don't know.

But Spain still has royals.

Did you know that?

But the son of Norway's crown prince, who is not

a direct descendant of the royals.

He is from a one-night stand that she had with a

former criminal before she met the France.

Oh, okay.

This is dramatic as it can come.

But he's been in the spotlight since he was a child, and he's been in trouble since he was a child.

He's been arrested for drugs.

He was arrested for assault.

He's been in all kinds of trouble.

Just yesterday, he was arrested on four, count them, four counts of grape.

I'm not going to say the word because then it'll get banned.

Four counts of grape.

Oh, I see what you're saying.

SA, yes, and essay.

So figure that one out too.

This is how all the kids are doing it these days so you don't get banned by YouTube.

He admitted to causing bodily harm to a woman while he was under the influence of cocaine and alcohol, and he additionally had to pay restitution after he trashed an apartment that he was renting.

This guy is like completely

out of fucking control.

There's a picture of him.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I've seen stuff about him.

Anytime you got the dual earrings, still in 2025, either that's a Norway thing or you're just a troublemaker.

I mean, I don't know anybody who wears two earrings anymore.

But, okay, but then that's not all.

Because then the sister of the crown prince is 48 years old.

And about

a couple of years ago, she came to America and she met a black man.

A black man, right, is probably enough to cause a holster in Norway.

I think, now I don't know, because I'm not claiming that Norway is a racist country.

I don't know.

I'm sure they have their prejudices just like every other country in the world.

But you can imagine that the white is snow Norway royal family.

I was going to say they might just have a prejudice against anybody that's not blonde.

True.

That's true.

Blonde and blue-eyed, right?

And I don't know that to be the truth either.

I'm sure there are black people who live in Norway and are living, you know, perfectly fine.

I'm not going to put words in anybody's mouth, but this has caused quite a stir amongst the tabloids and all this other stuff.

And not only is there

a mixed couple in a very stodgy royal family, but then go one step further.

And this guy claims to be a non-human alien who can regenerate his own cells, limbs, eyeballs.

He claims to be from an outer space, a different universe.

He's clairvoyant and he's here to save the world.

He is a guru, a clairvoyant guru

out of California.

He is a wild, wild character.

And he's marrying or married into the royal family.

So now a direct descendant, or a descendant, not a direct descendant, but a descendant for the royal family where they spent over $3.5 million to get married in the beautiful slopes of Norway where Stevie Wonder played.

Okay.

Stevie fucking wonder.

I love you, Stevie.

I love you.

Get your bag.

Play that wedding with the alien

regeneration.

Yeah.

Why not?

It's insane.

The story is insane.

Go off, Norway.

Go, Norway.

It was your time to step up.

We haven't heard much from you in the last couple of weeks.

Yeah, let's get some other royal scandal things going on.

The last time we heard from you, there were a couple of other American men running around trying to repopulate your intent.

Wasn't that in Norway where all those ladies bought that sperm from that.

Oh, was that a Norway?

Was it Norway or Sweden?

Was it Norway or Sweden?

I can't remember.

I thought it was Norway.

Something like that.

They were up there somewhere in the Nordic.

And this is just awesome to be.

I mean, I think this is so funny.

And now the whole royal family's like popularity is just plunging.

And people are, people who were for the royals are now against the royals.

And the tabloids are going wild.

And the whole family is under scandal and scrutiny.

I mean, like, we were, we're paying attention to Charles bickering with, you know, the two boys.

And what we should have been paying attention to the whole time was the Norish.

Norway.

How do you call it?

The Norish?

Are they

Norwegian?

There you go.

Norish.

They're Norish.

God, you're Norish.

The Norish Royals are crazy.

They're insane.

I love this.

Yeah.

I'm going to turn on my alerts for that one.

Let me see if I can read more about this,

about this guy for you.

Hold on one second.

Uh,

I do remember reading about this, and I, but all I saw that was he was maybe like a self-help guy.

He's a self-help guru, a life coach, he's a life coach, but then he claims he can regenerate his own body.

And that always goes well for those people that claim that.

Yeah, listen, um,

I

don't even think he might be the first, though.

Who knows?

Yeah, royal scandal, um,

wedding.

Hold on one second.

Yes.

Martha Norris.

Martha Luis's wedding.

How Princess Martha Luis's wedding to U.S.

shaman has stirred up

controversy.

Even better.

Princess Martha Luis, 52, will marry celebrity shaman.

I think this was

last year.

They got engaged in 2019 and 2022.

She dropped her duties as a royal to work on the couple's commercial interests.

Let's see.

Who is I want to find out more about the guy.

Local media locked out of the wedding, but it's rumored that Stevie.

Netflix confirmed it's creating a documentary that follows the couple's story.

Yes, good for you, Netflix.

You may have broken TV, but at least you got the good documentaries.

I do.

All right.

And then who is this guy?

We got to find out.

The drama surrounding the wedding.

To be fair, when Princess Martha got engaged, no one expected a run-of-the-mill wedding.

The daughter of King Harold and Queen Sonia, the fourth in line to the Norwegian throne, has always lived an unconventional lifestyle.

A self-proclaimed clairvoyant and alternative therapist, she once

opened up an angel school that taught healing techniques, as well as how to contact your

celestial wife.

She's the Teresa Caputu of

the Norway, of the Norish.

Yes.

After much criticism in 2019, the royal court confirmed she would no longer be using her title as a princess during her business activities.

In 2022, she stopped doing royal activities altogether.

Meanwhile, Varette, her husband, has battled accusations of promoting pseudoscience and has a long history of legal troubles.

During the pandemic, Veret came under fire for selling a medallion that he argued could ward off COVID-19.

Yet, even with all this considered, the lead-up to the nuptials is causing more of an unexpected stir.

Odd behavior.

For instance, Varrett told

news outlets, although the couple was introduced by a mutual friend, they'd actually met in a past life.

Yes.

Duh.

Who hasn't?

Yeah.

I find I have memories of us in Egypt, and she was my queen, and I was a pharaoh, he told People magazine, the most reputable of magazines.

Yet soon papers began accusing the shaman of spreading misinformation.

He's been talking about removing bad spirits from children, said a journalist for the Norwegian newspaper.

In 2021, he left me a series of voicemails and tried to convince me of the existence of the Illuminati in Norway.

It's kind of important that people know just how far outside the normal he is.

Before I met him, Martha told Vanity Fair, I never thought there was any racism in Norway.

Normally, the press office of the royal family will share images of a wedding to multiple news outlets at no cost due to public interest.

However, the couple has insisted,

has instead decided to only give one publication an exclusive for their wedding.

That will be with Hello Magazine.

Oh, good old hello.

And they sold their wedding photos apparently for millions of dollars.

This has caused quite the uproar with the press.

To avoid conflict, the head of

communications of the royal family has said that the rest of the Norwegian family will refrain from taking other photos at the wedding.

Wow.

It's just like that's the whole thing.

Yeah.

It's a these, these two.

I want to, these are the two I want to have on the show.

Definitely.

I love you, Dusty.

But before I get to follow up with you, I want to have Queen Martha on the show.

Yes.

Yes.

Bella, make it happen.

Make it so.

Bella doesn't listen to our show, but if Bella did, I want Queen Martha and Verette on our show and see what's going on.

I want to talk to them and their past lives and see what kind of thing.

They seem interesting, spicing things up.

Hey, listen, there is a

there is a podcast out there and I'm not gonna name the podcast because I the guy has supposedly 13 million followers on Instagram but I think about half a million of those might be real if you know who I'm talking if you know you know I K Y N K D Y

and I think he's a total charlatan but anyway he has all these people on who claim they were past lives and they can you know speak to angels and weird beings and he always makes these like clickbaity type um reels But every once in a while, I see a reel from his account.

And I'm like, I would like to have one of those people on.

There's like the people who speak,

they're in past lives, and they're speaking as if they're the person in past life.

Right, right, right.

You know, kind of like, who was that famous person who did that once?

What was her name?

Wasn't there the lady who said she was the queen of,

she was,

who was it?

No, Mariel Hemingway.

Not Mariel Hemingway.

Do you know who I'm talking about?

She She did say something about past life stuff.

Yeah, wasn't she like, you know, Cleopatra or something in a past life?

And she showed up on Barbara Walters as Cleopatra.

I think that stuff is so wild.

And I'd love to hear more about it, especially if it's the queen of Norway.

I mean, you just can't get much better than that.

Yeah.

So, anyway, the royal family of Norway, we're keeping an eye on you.

You are on the radar of the commercial break for good, bad, or indifferent.

We

have you in our sight.

All right.

I like it.

Keeping an eye on it.

You can be the royal

correspondent.

I am going to be the royal correspondent.

Norway edition.

Yes.

I'm calling in.

I'm calling in Queen Martha and Prince Verret for a parent-teacher conference.

Come to the commercial break.

Come to the commercial.

And try and be on time.

Respect our time.

No one's going to get that.

Anyway,

while we're speaking about it, since we were speaking about it, much, many thanks to Dusty Slay

for coming in and to Brett, quite frankly.

DustySlay.com.

Go listen to the interview, watch the special.

You know how to do it.

And when you get your gear, tag us in Instagram and we will throw you up on the Instagram.

And we're going to be giving away some additional free merch.

But you got to make sure you tag us on Instagram to do that.

212-433-3TCB.

212-433-3822.

Questions, comments, concerns, content ideas?

We've been getting so many text messages, Chrissy.

Nice words for you.

Nice words for Astrid.

Mainly ignoring me.

And then telling us that they have, in fact, bought the merch.

I got South Georgia Sean.

A bunch of the regulars just letting us know that they're supporting the show.

So very sweet of all of you.

Thank you.

We really appreciate it.

And I'd like to get South Georgia Sean on the show soon because he has some stories about catching an alligator or something.

He's got to have just a wealth of stories.

He sent me a picture the other day.

And in a totally unmarried kind of way,

he's a handsome dude.

I'll show you the picture.

He's a handsome dude.

Not what you would expect.

You would not expect this to be South Georgia Sean.

Anyway, all right.

tcbpodcast.com that is the website you can pre-order the merch there also all the audio all the video, right there from one location.

At the commercial break on Instagram to tag us and keep up with us and all that good stuff.

And youtube.com/slash the commercial break for all the videos the same day they air here on the audio.

Go follow and subscribe.

Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for now.

I think so.

Tell you that I love you.

And I love you.

Best to you.

Best to you.

Best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Until next time, Chrissy and I will say we do say and we must say.

Goodbye.

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