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Girls, what's just happened?

So there's an ice cream band there, sewing just two ice creams with two twingums in it.

Yeah.

The bloody nine pound for two of them.

Nine quid for two.

Yeah, nine quid.

That is gonna get nowhere.

One that comes on my streets that have a one pound a P

or two pound that is gonna get nowhere with that.

No, inn is there.

No, he knowing.

That's wild, bad, isn't it?

I should know.

And he only does bloody card.

Stood there with my cash.

Bloody hell.

That's wild, bad, isn't it?

Bloody well, bad.

Yeah.

Yeah, Betty can hear me.

On this episode of the commercial break,

marked them for death.

They just flashed to the previous time, I guess, they saw the woman.

He's just like an Indian with more paint on his face.

He's got like a Benetton shirt on.

And like a headpiece.

He's got a headband with a long feather.

He's screaming into the void.

This looks like my weekend.

The cacao ceremony.

It really does.

The cacao mushroom ceremony.

I think a few people are doing the same thing.

The next next episode of the Commercial Break starts now.

2:30 in the morning!

Oh, yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break.

I'm Brian Green.

This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley.

Best to you, Chris.

Best to you, Brian.

Best to you out there in the Fobcats universe.

How the hell are you?

Thanks for joining us.

2:30 in the morning is right.

I'm watching a video about a guy who, like, the Dorville Police.

Dorville is a place here in the Metro Atlanta area.

Right.

They were called to a waffle house because a guy was sleeping at the table for about three and a half hours and they couldn't seem to get him up.

And so they had to call the police.

Waffle House, take a nap.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Waffle house.

We limit you to three hour naps.

You can't go over three hours.

Yeah, Waffle House.

Three hours is the limit.

So after three and a half hours, they call the police.

The Dorville, I saw the body camera footage, Dorville police show up.

The guy is non-rousable.

He's just not getting up.

He was out.

He was out like a light, but they like, you know, they finally like

pull his eyelids back just to make sure that he's up and he kind of like wakes up and he's like what what what and they're like hey man you've been here for like four hours like they want you to leave yeah and he's like man fuck that shit man i pay my bill i'm here fuck that shit i'm taking a nap and the guy does not look like an unhomed person he looks like you know he's got the gz on and the whole nine yards and so uh the officer's like man you got a you got a place you can stay he's like fuck yeah i got a house man like i live right around the corner he's like well you got to go home and he's like fuck that i took a nap you know i paid my bill i can i can take a nap i can take a nap if i want to

god that reminds me that would be a fantastic cam to watch they need waffle house cam yes that's a good idea where is the waffle house live stream

that in our lives yes they have They have a Bonnaroo live stream.

They have a Burning Man live stream.

They have a live stream on every beach in the entire world.

Why don't they have central parks?

Yes.

we have an eagle nest camp.

Why don't we have a waffle?

I guarantee it's more interesting than eagle nest camps.

It is.

So the guy, anyway, the guy causes trouble.

And after some, you know, after the officers for about three and a half minutes taking his shit, they're like, okay, dude, leave or go to jail, right?

Yeah.

And he's like, man, fuck that.

And so they take him down, right?

They pull him out.

They take him down.

They put him in handcuffs.

And they find over a half a pound of cocaine in his pant pocket.

What?

A half a pound of cocaine.

I mean, that's for one.

For two, why was he sleeping?

Why is he sleeping?

What the fuck?

Why isn't he up and about?

I mean, now in Razzles.

Yeah, dude.

You can't go on a bender and decide to take a nap with your fucking, with your fit in your fucking pants.

That's the number one bonehead mistake always made by drug users and dealers is keeping the shit on you out in public when you're fucking up.

It's like my uncle said, my pretend uncle.

I don't remember where I heard this from.

Don't fuck up while you're fucking up.

That's the one thing you can't do.

If you're gonna do your shit, if you're gonna blow lines.

I can't believe he was that adamant about not leaving.

All he had to do was leave.

Yeah.

See, some people are just dumb.

Some criminals are just dumb.

They're just dumb, dumb, dumb.

So anyway, moral of the story is don't leave your cocaine in your pocket.

If you're taking a nap at Waffle House, it's likely you're going to go to jail.

Not for the sleeping part, for the not sleeping part of the cocaine.

Yeah, yeah.

And if you do leave it and take a nap, just leave them when when they ask you to leave.

Yes, just leave.

Just say, I'll take the, I'll take the ticket, which is usually like a trespass passing ticket.

I'll take the ticket and I'm out of here.

Walk home and wake yourself back up with all that cocaine you have in your pocket.

Number one.

Number two,

second part of this story is this is like a Facebook video that I saw.

Then after watching this entire video, which was like 26 minutes long, then I get an ad.

Again, I don't know what in the world is going on with Facebook, but

they have uncoupled from any kind of

ad safety whatsoever.

You've never seen the Tatas?

Yeah, not the Tatas.

I got an ad for something called Wanna Bump.

And Wanna Bump is a product, a powder product made with pure caffeine and something called Nositol.

Nositol.

It sounds like it's just made up.

Nositol.

You're kidding me.

No, I'm not.

I mean, it's good product placement, I guess.

Listen, they knew I was interested in the cocaine video.

They said I'm probably interested in cocaine.

Here's the closest thing we got to it.

But it literally is powder.

Like

in one of those little, you know, like in a capsule.

Like a cocaine vial.

Okay.

Have you ever gotten cocaine in a cocaine vial?

I mean, have you ever seen cocaine in a cocaine vial?

You've seen it in movies.

Okay, you've seen it in movies.

I used to have like a really hoity-toity dealer, like, you know, back in my 20s.

Not D.

Okay.

No, without what

D, no, D was a baggy kind of guy.

You know what I'm saying?

D was a baggy kind of guy.

But I used to have like a hoity-toity dealer.

I worked in the, what's called the rich part of town near Buckhead, Vinings.

And we used to have a hoity-toity dealer.

And that hoity-toity dealer would give you a gram in a little vial.

Like, yeah, the little brown vials with the black tops on it.

You know what I'm saying?

And he said it was to keep it from getting moist and all this other shit.

And I always just found it to be a waste of resources.

And it's extra stuff you have to get rid of in a weird way around the house.

I mean, at times, I'd have like 10 vials just

around the house.

I did.

I saved them for what I don't know.

You can't bring them anywhere.

I mean, if you think a baggie is bad, wait till the cop pulls out a vial from your fucking pocket.

And, you know, it just, and then

doesn't anybody ask questions?

This is way before Amazon.

Doesn't anybody ask questions when you go to the head shop or the vial store?

The vial store?

Yeah, the glass vial store.

I mean, honestly, it's just so silly.

This guy thought he was all that in a bag of cheese, but then he also charged like $110 for it.

I was going to say he probably upcharged you with the vial cost.

Listen, he thought he had the best cocaine in

anywhere.

Like, that was his thing, but it wasn't ever.

He had more nositol than actual cocaine in there.

I'm sure of it.

Baby laxative or whatever they come with.

You know,

vitamin B12 is, I think, is a popular one.

Baby laxative is another one.

Because

you think you're doing good cocaine until you actually get good cocaine.

I can imagine.

Let's just pretend for a second.

Let's go down the, let's go to Mr.

Rogers' neighborhood and be in the imaginary kingdom and assume that one was to take a trip.

I'm picturing puppets.

Yeah.

Mrs.

Miss, the queen of imaginary.

I hereby declare this to be brown cocaine vial day.

The little, the little trolley child,

the land.

Daniel Tiger's neighborhood, which is Daniel Tiger, if you remember from Mr.

Rogers' neighborhood, Daniel Tiger was the cute little tiger puppet.

Yes.

And Mrs.

Ferngully, or whatever her name was, the lady who always talked to Daniel Tiger.

Daniel Tiger is now an extraordinarily popular cartoon with the kids.

They've got a whole series, and I love that that tradition is carried on.

I tried to get my kids kids to sit down and watch like actual episodes of Mr.

Rogers, but it's just so grainy and weird.

And it's from a different universe to me.

Right.

They're like, who is that guy?

Right.

Why is he changing his sweater?

Here's a little fun fact.

Here's a little fun fact before we get back to it.

Yes, he changed his shoes.

A little fun fact before we get back to Imagination Land about cocaine.

Mr.

Rogers Neighborhood intro song.

The theme song to Mr.

Rogers Neighborhood was never

played the same way twice.

There's like 1,400 episodes of Mr.

Rogers' neighborhood.

Really?

And never was it the same twice.

Never.

And the reason why is because it was always sung by Mr.

Rogers live.

You could tell that just by watching it.

But the piano was also played live in the studio by a certain gentleman.

And that gentleman was there for all the episodes.

And he always played it just a little bit differently.

I like it.

Just twinkling on the keys just a little bit differently.

I like that.

I like that little, that little fact warms the cockles of my heart.

It does.

It makes makes it unique.

And my heart does need some warming.

Yes.

So

let's go back to Imagination Land and pretend that we were to take a

take a trip down to a Central American country.

I'm not going to name the country, but let's pretend that it was Costa Rica.

And then let's pretend that you were in Costa Rica visiting and one was to get some cocaine somehow,

right?

It's much closer to the source down there than it is up here.

And so therefore it doesn't pass this through as many hands.

So if you were to do cocaine here in America that someone said was good, and then you were to go down to a place, just imagining, like Costa Rica, closer to the source, closer to the source, then you will understand what really good cocaine is all about.

And the difference is monumental.

It's monumental.

Remember the scene in Blow where Paul Rubens, Pee-Wee Herman, does the cocaine and he can't feel his face.

He's testing the purity of it.

He's like, it burned, you know, bad cocaine burns at 100 degrees.

And, you know, medium-sized cocaine, medium-okay cocaine burns at 120 degrees, but pure cocaine burns at 180 degrees or whatever.

And it gets up to like 172 degrees.

I have felt that feeling in my face before, or no feeling in my face before.

It's very interesting to notice the difference.

I can't feel my face, my teeth, or my toes.

Cause I just put good cocaine up my nose.

Yeah, all the, you know, I love those rock docks, and I love to read biographies of all the rockers from the 60s and 70s.

And they all talk about how back then it was completely different.

Yeah, because they would, like, they had American pilots who were making deals with the cartels down there, the newly formed cartels that were figuring out that they were sitting on this gold.

And they were getting American pilots, like the cocaine cowboys, to put, you know, 180 pounds of pure cocaine and then just fly it straight to Florida or wherever they were flying it to, Texas or Florida, the panhandle.

And then it would just get on the streets.

And at that time, it wasn't a game.

Like it didn't have, you got to think of it like an industry.

It's an industry now and people step on it all along the way so that they can make extra money and sell it to fucking morons like Brian out of margarita cups of chilies.

Do you know what I'm saying?

Sometimes in the fancy vial.

Sometimes in the fancy vial, but I think I was paying more for the vial than anything.

Yeah.

But it just was a different, like, it's just a different thing.

And I think Fleetwood Mac in and of itself helped bring cocaine to the.

It's true.

I mean, go back to Blow and think about that story.

They ended up with 100 pounds of cocaine and

they didn't know who to sell it to because not that many people even knew what cocaine was.

I mean, they might have heard of it, but they didn't buy it.

They didn't know what it was.

And so they were creating the demand as they got the cocaine.

And that's an amazing story of some ingenuity.

Now, you know, okay, we can all debate the morals of it, but it's really quite ingenious how they put all that together.

Oh, it's fascinating.

Created an industry basically out of thin air.

And listen, the product is good.

It makes people feel good.

And that's why, that's why they like it, right?

I assume.

Let's talk about, while we're on cocaine, let's talk about Charlie Sheen's new documentary.

Yes, I have.

I watched the first part.

Okay.

I haven't watched it, but I did read an article, 13 Things We Learned from Charlie Sheen's New Doc.

It's really good so far.

Okay, I cannot wait to get, I'm so over my head busy right now that I don't have a moment to breathe.

So many things go in a million different directions, but I will get to it this weekend, I hope.

Here's what I learned that I was really shocked by, shocked, and I think it's, I don't know.

It reminded me of D,

the drug dealer that's in the program.

I don't know if he's, I don't know if you've seen, if he's popped up yet.

I think he's in the second part.

I don't, he hasn't popped up yet.

The first

one of the things that's revealed in the documentary is that the drug dealer himself, the guy who was selling Charlie the cocaine, buying Coke, cooking it up for him, and making it into cracks so that Charlie could smoke it.

And Charlie was smoking like, we're talking like baseball-sized rocks of cocaine, right?

That's,

I mean, I don't know because I was not a crack smoker, but I can only imagine that that just must have been like professional level crack addiction oh yeah yeah he discusses how he got how he started doing the crack though okay yeah

his dealer became so concerned at charlie's abuse and use and his own health and his decline during all of this drama that was going on with two and a half men and you know charlie out there high on coke you know doing all these interviews and all this other stuff and

that the dealer himself said, I think I kind of like this guy.

Like, I I think he's kind of my friend.

Yeah, I don't want to stop.

I don't want him to.

Yeah.

So, what I'm going to do is, I'm going to start cooking the Coke.

I'm going to start cooking the crack with less and less Coke to make sure that Charlie doesn't kill himself.

Okay.

And so, he did that over the course of a year and a half until the Coke was so fucking shitty.

Like, the crack was so shitty that Charlie was just getting a headache from it.

He was just getting sick.

He was getting a headache.

He wasn't getting high.

And that led Charlie to believe that he was so

like tolerant of cocaine that he could no longer get high and he needed help he was getting sick essentially because getting sick because he was just like smoking baking soda essentially right

so that really surprised me and i love that i love that little story there's like a little There's a little humanity in that story that makes me happy.

I don't know why.

It's a story about Charlie Sheen and his crack dealer, but I don't know, but it made me feel kind of happy.

Plus, that was a good money source, I'm sure.

Yeah, I thought too.

I thought, well, he's making more and more money

every time that Charlie asked for it back.

I don't know.

Listen, hey,

Charlie is an enigma, wrapped in an enigma wrapped in.

It's a fascinating story so far.

He's lived a life.

One of the things that I hope that they address in this

is Corey Haim and Corey Feldman.

Because if you don't know, about 10 years ago, about a decade ago, Corey Haim died

from a joke over Devil Stanford.

That was sad.

Corey Hayne was a mess.

And he was a mess.

And him and Feldman kind of had this pact that they were going to out and take down sexual abusers inside of the entertainment.

And I remember that.

And only when Corey Haim passed did Corey Feldman feel, I guess he felt compelled to share what Corey Haim had shared with him, which was one of the things was that

on the set of Lucas, where Charlie Sheen and Corey Haim are opposite each other, star in the movie, opposite each other, that

how do I say this without

getting censored?

Corey Haim was graped by Charlie Sheen.

Graped.

Think, just figure that one out.

Graped.

Okay.

Okay.

Take the G off, graped.

Okay.

By Charlie Sheen.

Really?

On set of the movie.

Really?

And Corey Feldman, and you can find this out there.

Corey Feldman then graphically explains what Corey Haym graphically explained to him, the place, the time, who was there, who wasn't there, all this other stuff.

And so I don't know if it's going to be addressed, but I hope it's addressed because it's a pretty serious allegation.

Yeah, that is.

And, you know, I don't know, but

that wouldn't look, that doesn't make me think fondly of Charlie Sheen, at least not at that period.

No.

Period of time.

I don't know.

For sure, without a doubt.

Speaking of Corey Feldman, one last thing we'll talk about before.

I do love you some Corey Corey Feldman.

I do love Meesome Corey Feldman.

He's like the world's biggest goofball.

Is he still out there playing to the car?

Oh, he's so fucking popular, but not for the reasons he wants to be.

But I don't know if it matters anymore.

No.

Like,

if we had 10,000 people that wanted to show up at the Fox Theater just to laugh at us because we were silly and stupid and terrible, I think at some point it would hurt.

And then at some point, it would just be like, okay.

Just go with it.

Whatever.

Fuck.

People are paying to go to the Fox Theater and laugh at us.

Let them pay to laugh at us.

And we'll all be in on the joke together.

And we'll play that, we'll play it up.

We'll ham it up for whatever is, whatever it is they want.

But Corey Feldman is out there not only creating music that's terrible and laughable, in my opinion.

And then people go to watch the terrible, terrible, terribly laughable music that he puts out there.

But Corey Feldman is now going to be on Dancing with the Stars.

He was announced as one of the people that's going to be on Dancing with the Stars.

Okay.

So Corey is seeing a little bit of a resurgence in popularity here.

And, you know,

can't fault the guy for winning, can you?

I mean, at the end of the day.

No, not at all.

I might tune in for that.

I think I have to.

I mean, you guys have to.

You have to.

Yeah.

I love watching Corey.

I just, anytime a Corey Feldman.

There's something about him.

Anytime a Corey Feldman.

There is something about him.

And it's very nostalgic for us, too.

Well,

I was never like

a lot of kids my age, I think, were like the two Corey's were the coolest, you know?

I was not.

It was not my thing.

Lost Boys was cool.

Lost Boys was good.

But I was a Kiefer Sutherland guy.

I was in it for Kiefer Sutherland, right?

I thought he was the baddest ass on the planet.

Yeah, all the fangs and the red eyes.

Oh, yeah, I used to have the magazines and stuff, like Bop and whatever.

Oh, you did?

Oh, yeah.

I would get those and they would have all the, you know, the splashy pages with you know the latest actors of the time.

Mmm, Chris.

Do tell thing you could pull it out and put it on your wall.

I could see little Chrissy just on her bed, like this.

No phone, no iPad.

Right, you didn't have it.

No direct TV, just checking in with your favorite stars.

Imagining what your favorite teen stars.

Imagining what her and Corey would do on a day at the mall.

We go to Spencer's and get our ears pierced.

It's weird because I don't remember having like too much of, you know, like, oh my God, I'm so in love with them.

But it was very interesting to me.

Like, what are they up to?

What do they do?

They're cool.

Yeah.

Listen,

they were living a dream that I was not living.

I think I appreciated them for that is that they were.

You know, they were older than me at the time.

But maybe I could be there someday.

Maybe I could be in there.

Yeah, exactly.

Maybe I could be in that world.

Yeah, I could be a Brad Packer.

Right.

Right.

And the Brad Packers were way older than me, but, you know, Roblo and Molly Ringwall,

all those kids.

So anyway.

All right.

Well, listen, to address the elephant in the room, yesterday we put out an episode where Gary Vee and I had an opportunity to

commiserate over the events of the day.

You can go listen to it.

I'm not going to rehash all of that.

We're going to take a, I think it's.

We're just going to leave it alone at this point.

But to address another thing, Chrissy wasn't here because of a scheduling conflict.

And that, so that's why you do not hear Chrissy in that episode.

There's been a few people who texted in.

I couldn't make it.

It's okay.

I think we had a good conversation with

you did.

You did a good job.

Thank you.

I appreciate it.

And a lot of people texted in and shared that they felt better after the episode or it was good that I put it out.

Thank you very much.

And then a few people were concerned that you weren't there.

And let me repeat again.

It was a scheduling conflict.

Scheduling conflict.

Scheschul.

Sheshuel.

It had nothing like, we didn't fire Chrissy or anything.

It was actually a funny story behind it.

Yeah, but we're not going to.

Yeah, we'll leave it.

We'll leave it at that.

I don't want to embarrass anybody.

Wasn't our fault this time, actually.

Wasn't our fault.

We just rolled with the punches.

Yes, you did.

Okay, let's take a break from everything today.

Let me do a mountain monsters.

Let's do a mountain monsters.

Because we need some mountain monsters in our life right now.

Let's have a giggle.

I'll take a break.

I'll load one up.

And when we get back, a mountain monsters.

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on TCB.

And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer longer this podcast can continue.

Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears, and I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail.

Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcvpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page.

You can also find the entire commercial break library, audio and video, just in case you want to look at Chrissy, at tcbpodcast.com.

Want your voice to be on an episode of the show?

Leave us a message at 212-433-3TCB.

That's 212-433-3822.

Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode.

Or you could make fun of us.

That'd be fine too.

We might not air that, but maybe.

Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay.

Just send a text.

We'll respond.

Now I'm going to go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors and then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break.

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Okay, we're back trying to put a little light in your life and Chrissy and I have some mountain monsters we'd like to share with you i was thinking about it tonight i was like we need some mountain monsters don't we i agree with you i agree with you we need to lighten the mood a little bit it's uh it's a dark time so let's go into the dark with the mountain monster

with our infrared lights with our infra

our night goggles let's get the night vision out

oh by the way this is huck and chuck and fuck get kidnapped get kidnapped

this should be a good one wood count where are they wood county wood county

wood county virginia Virginia.

Let me turn that.

Oh, my God.

Look at he's got a mask on.

Oh, my God.

Oh, are these the kidnappers?

Yes.

Ooh, why are you building them?

Oh.

Me and Wild Bill got a haul ass off this field.

They let me out temporarily to do this video, and then I have to get back to kidnapped.

I'm screaming loudly in the hopes that someone comes to save us.

And try to catch up with them.

Let's go, let's go, let's go.

Let's go, let's go, let's go.

We got all these guns, but let's not use them.

If you don't use the guns

in the case of kidnapping, when are you going to use the guns?

That's the time.

Yeah, they're right there.

Shoot them.

They're chasing a van on foot.

And this case is damn.

Don't you feel alive?

I do.

Oh, and by the way, two 83-year-old

men who've been down at the whacking tree chasing after a brand new Ford Focus van, it's not going to do it.

That's what I was saying.

Why are they on foot?

Well, because, you know, where's their four-by or whatever they call it?

What?

The monster mobile.

What?

Where are we going?

We're going to go for a little ride?

And they kidnapped them with their mics on.

That's right.

We put microphones on the kidnappers.

We have somebody that wants to talk to you guys.

We have somebody that wants to talk to you guys.

His name is Mr.

Big.

Let's go.

Come on.

Let's go.

And Brother William that beat feet over and getting bucked up.

What's your buddy?

That's my loofah.

I didn't understand anything he said.

Truck and follower.

Expert tracker.

We're the only backup team's got.

Gotta catch up with them, bill.

Now they're in a fire.

Why does he always sound like he's got more air in his mouth than he needs?

I see him now.

Stay back.

I need to get too close.

Turn on.

Don't get too close.

Why not?

Turn on 107.6.

Stay back.

They got a marathon.

Stay back.

You have your headlights on, you two shit.

You're the only ones in the middle of this field.

But say back

only stopping for 30 fucking moons.

Now you can have your camera back.

Now you can have your camera back so you can take evidence to the police.

I've got news for you.

The man I'm taking you to see is the sheriff of these here woods.

Sheriff not in ham.

You don't know where the hell you're at.

You can film all you want now, big boy.

Say, cheese.

Who's filming?

The van stops.

A guy gets out and comes back and gives us our camera.

I'm filming.

But they've got hoods on.

Yeah.

And Buck's got a lot of shit on his shirt.

God, he looks like he has a bra on.

He does.

Buck needs to get that to the dry cleaners immediately.

That is the dirtiest shirt I've ever seen on a person.

Yeah, it's bad.

We must be so far out.

He just got rough.

Yeah,

by the way, they have like corn sack hoods on them.

Like the scarecrow.

Matter if we start recording, because no one's going to recognize where we're at anyway.

Because no one's going to take this for evidence when we give it to the FBI.

I don't know, but I don't remember seeing in the news that these guys got kidnapped.

No, it didn't make the news.

And by the way, why are you talking outside of the van if you're kidnapped inside of the van?

This has really gone off the rails.

It's a bit incongruent, but let me not point out the obvious.

Let's roll with the imaginary.

Let's roll with the imaginary here, Chrissy.

All right, Jeffra.

Yeah, I'm doing fine.

Yeah, I'm doing fine.

You got a bud light?

You have no idea what you've gotten yourself into.

Well, did they?

These guys chase mythological

tiger camels for a living.

They absolutely have an idea of what they're getting themselves into.

He's making a left tree,

Stay calm.

You guys ease right out onto there.

Huck has never eased right out of anywhere.

Poor boy.

He is huge.

All right.

Back up, camera.

Back up.

Back up, camera.

Yeah, back up, camera.

Why are you just letting the cameraman walk around?

What is going on?

What kind of kidnapping is this?

Only kind that could happen in Wood County, Virginia.

Wood County, Virginia.

God, right now I'm getting led into this old creepy building.

We have no idea what these guys want or what the hell they're capable of.

I love that he's narrating his own kidnapping.

Seriously.

They are.

There's nothing.

There's no.

These are the worst kidnappers in the history of kidnapping.

You get right on in there.

We gotta get to them guys.

Oh, I think we've seen the end of this one.

This is looking familiar to me now.

I think we do see the end of this one, like a mythological creature saves them from certain destruction.

Really?

Okay, hey, look.

We fell into our camera guy.

You can keep your mouth shut.

You're not worried about what we do.

Yeah, they're chaining them to the floor.

Interesting.

But

it kind of drops the suspense level a little bit when you know that they're already been released.

So when they do these cutaway videos, when they're talking to the camera solo,

I already know that they've been released.

And that kind of drops the

scare factor.

Yeah.

I'm not really all that worried for them because they look fine in the cutaway videos.

My cabin should be right up here.

I'm gonna run in circles around the cabin.

That guy, the way that guy talks.

I know.

I'm gonna run around in circles around the cabin with my pants down.

And then Willie's gonna go in there and stick his pink pony right in the hole.

We're gonna see if we can't jizz him out of there.

It's a good old-fashioned jizzin.

Members,

sit down

i'm still sit down there

there

go easy guys

go easy guys

i mean you already done kidnapped us you gotta push us around too yeah come on big boy we walk into this cabin it's pitch dark yeah come on big boy give it to me they slam us down into these chairs i can only imagine that guy pee his pants Did I see pee in his pants?

I think he did.

Let's see.

There's the tail of the table.

Oh, a little pee-pee-poo-poo.

Or is that the shadow from the camera?

Well, I'd like to imagine it's pee-pee.

Pee pee in his pants.

I can only imagine what's going to happen next.

I'm getting really excited about what's happening next.

Yee.

Yeah.

Oh.

I guess we can turn the thermals off now.

Yeah, there's a bright light.

That's a huge bright light just turned on.

Like a floodlight.

Yeah, but we're still in black and white thermal mode.

Shit.

Oh,

the light kicks on right in our face.

You can see a mirror on the walls, and you can see a speaker and a camera.

Wow, someone really thought this out very well.

Yeah, they thought the kidnapping of the mountain monsters out to AT.

They built a cabin in the woods with a two-way mirror and a camera and a light.

I've never seen a place like this, but it looks like an interrogation room.

Why are we here?

You'll find out soon enough.

I don't know.

Hold up, hold up, better get back to.

Meanwhile, you know, frickin' frack are outside.

They don't know what to do except to talk to the camera.

You guys gotta go in.

Use your guns.

Well, I tell you what.

Well, if you fellas just sit back, you're doing shows.

Sit back and enjoy the show?

Yeah, sit back and enjoy the show.

I now present to you Ghost Hunter Season 2 on Travel Channel.

What is this place?

This whole situation is weird.

We can get up and walk out of here at any time.

Then why don't you?

But if we want answers, we gotta see what's next.

Hello?

Hello?

You don't happen to have any deli meat back there, do you?

A mountain dew?

A mountain dew?

A A submarine sandwich.

I'm very scared.

I get scared.

I got the bubble guts.

I need something to settle my tummy down.

And my friend here done pissed himself.

Yeah, he needs a fresh pair of pants.

Yeah, if you got an extra pair of drawers, I appreciate it.

I know we could get up and walk out at any time, but we're just curious by nature.

We thought we'd stay here

for certain death and figure out what's going on.

You don't mind if my cameraman walks around and takes some photographs, do you?

Hello?

Why are we here?

All right, Buck's getting up.

Yeah, Buck's getting up.

He's going for it.

Going.

It has an eyeball to eyeball with the mirror.

Yeah, eyeball to eyeball with himself, right?

So straight to the two-way mirror where he can't see through.

Hello?

Grandma, is that you?

I told you, boy, not to be running around in the woods.

Oh.

Oh, shit.

Sit down.

Sit down.

Like out of a haunted house.

I've ordered dominoes.

And we're all going to watch the seven little Johnstons together.

It gets lonely out here.

What tomfoolery is going on here?

All right, let's take a break.

Oh my gosh, this is great.

We'll get back to the kidnapping here very shortly.

We'll be back.

Let me do something Brian has never done.

Be brief.

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Okay, and we're back with Huckin' Chuck and fucking the boys, and they are currently kidnapped.

If that's what you call it, kind of, kidnapped.

Their hands are tied behind their backs unless they're not tied behind their backs.

They're tied in the front of their backs, and they're chained to the floor unless they're not chained to the floor.

Yeah, then the other guy,

his hands are out in front, but Bucks are in back.

I don't know what's happening.

Yeah, and

did he pee himself?

I don't know.

Oh, is that just the color of the jeans?

The color of the jeans.

Okay, well,

that blows my

imaginary joke out of the water.

I'm sitting.

Damn, I'm sitting.

As soon as that skeleton appeared in my face and said, sit down,

I knew you could buy it at Home Depot for $24.99 every Halloween season.

It does look like it's straight out of like the

cheap mask.

Those Halloween stores that pop up.

Yes.

Spirit-oh, Halloween.

I sat down.

There's not a whole lot of things that scare me, but that did.

That's why I'm not allowed to Costco between September 4th and November 3rd.

You're the guy that killed the stonus giant.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Wrong.

That stones giant.

That was pretty specific.

That was really specific.

He knew exactly.

And then the

guy goes, no.

Try again.

You're the guy who killed John T.

McGillicuddy born 1933, Chicago, Illinois.

No.

Would you like to try again?

I like this game.

We're going to play until you get it right.

Oh, my god.

What do you want with us?

I want to make a deal.

A deal?

What?

Yes.

I have some tops baseball cards from 1984 that I can't sell on the open market because they've been slightly dented.

You buy them,

and I will let your family live.

I need a receipt and a bit of sale.

I tell you what, right now, old boy.

There's no way in hell we're gonna help you kill another damn Bigfoot.

Father, you know I won't.

I never said I was after a Bigfoot.

What are you after?

I want you to go back to Lee County, Virginia.

Back to the dark forest.

And I want you to pick up all the trash that you left there

Oh, the good old woman of the woods.

We've heard about the woman of the woods.

Yeah, was that the one where what's his name fell into the ice cold water and he couldn't get out.

He was shaking, and there was like an image of a small girl running around the woods.

Yep, that's it.

The woman of the woods.

The woman of the woods is someone we don't want to mess with.

This team's already had one heck of an encounter with her.

When we were in Lee County, she touched Huckleberry and Jeff.

She tried to whack them both off.

But they weren't into it.

Got scared.

And marked them for death.

They just flashed to the previous time, I guess, they saw the woman.

The woman in the woods.

And one of them.

One of them.

Just like an Indian with war paint on his face.

He's got like a Benetton shirt on.

And like a headpiece.

He's got a headband with a long feather.

He's screaming into the void.

This looks like my weekend.

The cacao ceremony.

It really does.

Yeah.

The cacao mushroom ceremony.

I think a few people were doing the same thing.

His hut collapsed down on him and walked off with her.

And now we haven't seen him since.

When we found him, he's lightening.

He's lighting.

He was covered in blood.

Yep, that's as realistic looking blood as I've seen in a long time.

He threw this team for a loop, and she affected Jeff's mind, maybe for life.

All right, maybe for life.

There's so dramatic.

We help you get this woman of the woods.

They really are.

They're really over-dramatic.

By the way, why is there a stereo in the background?

Are they gonna play some music later?

How's this benefit us?

Let me make a deal with you since my hands are tied behind my back.

What do we get out of it?

I have something you want.

What's that?

Deep dish pizza from Chicago.

If you cash, don't have the woods.

In exchange, I'll prove yourselves who killed the Stonish Giant.

Stonish Giant.

Oh, they want to get their hands on the Stonish Giant killer for what reason?

I don't know.

I don't watch the show.

What are you asking me about?

And you didn't kill him?

No.

But you know who did?

And I know where the body's at.

He says he can deliver who killed the Stonish giant and let us know where the body is.

If he can make a bunch of people, we really want to.

Yeah, something

trustworthy about it.

But the skeleton mask behind the two-wave mirrors seems trustworthy.

So I'm deciding, in order for them to release me from my kidnapping, I will agree to such a deal.

The other guy is just sitting, Jeff, I think this is his name, he's just sitting there with his hands in front of him, just sitting in the middle of the middle.

Yeah, because he's like, holy shit, I got to go to the woman of the woods again.

Last time I ended up with my pasty white legs all full of blood, deal.

That's something we're really gonna have to consider.

Go to the dark forest, and you'll find what you're looking for.

Right, Dale through there.

All right, swarm.

Yeah, you got the other two.

Now, yeah, now the other two guys have decided they're gonna move in.

How do we know you'll keep good on your deal?

I've never you can have my car keys.

I've never lied to you.

I've never lied.

I've never lied to you.

He said, I've never lied to you.

Lied to you, and I never will.

Yeah, you kind of did.

Because you told us she was going to contact us.

We sat around by the phone for months.

Give him hell!

Give him hell.

I sat there waiting for you to call for months.

We sat around the phone for months.

You told me you were going to pick me up, take me out somewhere nice.

It's all lies.

I wash dishes, I clean the house, I take care of the chitlins, and all you do is lie, lie, lie.

I'm done with you, Stonish Giant killer.

You speak with such certainty.

There are secrets you have yet to learn.

Oh, Jedi Master.

Yes, what the fuck?

You have secrets left to learn.

Secrets you have not learned yet, I do.

You must kill Stonish Giant, and then I will tell you I will.

I don't know what that means.

So far, it seems like one big riddle after the next.

I don't know what that means, but it does not coordinate with the storyboarding we did for season three.

And now, we're applying by his rules, and I'm about tired of it.

Everything you need is in front of you: a stereo, a light,

a two-way mirror, a candlestick, a candlestick,

a candlestick, a matchmak, a matchstick, and a widow maker.

Where'd you go?

Hey!

I can't do this voice forever.

It hurts my throat.

I gotta get some tea.

I don't know who in the hell this guy is, but he claims that everything we need to catch this woman of the woods is right in front of us.

See that moving in that left window again?

Yeah, the mirror.

It's you guys.

That's what you need, you dumb shit.

It's not that hard of a riddle to figure out.

Yeah, I see somebody moving around a bunch.

Jeff, I had you zip-tied in front for a reason.

I know you don't have no shoulder problems.

I know you don't have no shoulder problems.

Oh, he was zip-tied.

I didn't see that.

I thought he was just sitting there.

But I'm figuring to give you one.

If you could do me a favor and wrap your short arms around my body, we could stay together for warmth.

Oh, we can just walk right out of here?

Can you just hug me anyway?

They patted Huck down.

They missed a knife in the right top part of his boot.

We're getting Nancy.

It's about time to get out of here.

We're getting antsy.

I gotta do a number two.

And Jeff's done pissed himself again.

Get me out of these things.

Just get the hell out of here.

Get that one off.

The camera.

Yeah, the little red camera, like the nest camera recording everything they do.

The answer's right in front of our face.

I'm tired of these days.

The answer's right in front of our face.

I want to see yours.

Oh!

Oh, he's throwing the chair through the window.

Don't get violent.

Oh, shit.

Now's the time to run.

Now the guys outside decide to move.

They've been in there for an hour and a half talking to the stonish giant killer.

Hell, fully.

Come on, get away.

Okay.

What the fuck?

What's this?

What is this?

Oh, my God.

Holy shit.

It's a hog's head.

Look at that.

He is a hog's head.

Hell, Buck throws that chair through that mirror.

All of a sudden, right there behind it, there's a damn hog's head on a stake.

Blood coming out of its nose, its ears, its eyes.

What the hell is that?

What does the signature leave behind?

Yeah, that's what the stonish giant killer leaves.

That's his calling card.

A pig's head.

Yeah.

It's also the symbol for a lot of barbecue places in town.

So, you know, could be one of the barbecue place owners.

I don't know.

Just saying.

Look, they're pointing the guns at the guys they know.

What the hell do you mean?

What the hell?

What the hell?

The hoagie!

The hoagan!

I love pigs' ears!

Let's get them!

Let's pickle those bad boys and have some dinner.

It really does.

Poor thing.

It's begot bat ears.

Someone in the prop department went wrong on this one.

Dang.

That's not how a pig's ears look.

What's that all about?

I don't know.

We gotta figure out how we're gonna get Zach unchained.

I get him chained up like an elephant.

Are you freaking serious?

What?

He's laying right here.

Ernest Thomas Fane.

Look at that.

How'd you not see that, dude?

You're such a dumbass.

I hate you.

I've hated you said you joined the crew.

Who was changed?

The cameraman was changed.

That's how it all went down.

Let's get out here and look and see if we can see anybody.

Yeah, let's do that.

I mean, meanwhile, he's asking the cameraman how he missed the key.

Yeah, the cameraman always misses.

The cameraman

hasn't missed.

The cameraman is known to miss.

That's what he does.

He didn't get the woman of the woods.

He didn't get the Bigfoot.

He didn't get the, you know, lion manes tiger.

Yeah, the wolfish.

He didn't get the stonish giant.

He didn't get any of it.

What?

Anybody in here?

Holy shit.

I'm telling you guys, there was someone in here.

He was standing right there talking to us.

We never seen nobody leave.

Guys, they're gone.

There's nothing else we can do.

Guys,

there's nothing else we can do.

Let's not call the authoritized.

Let's not get the FBI involved, local sheriff, the community helper, anything like that.

No, no, no.

Because there's nothing we can do.

Yeah, it's not.

Absolutely nothing.

Wow.

Ah, geez.

What an exciting episode.

Really, what?

Adrenaline.

That's only nine minutes of the 48-minute episode.

What

bullshit did they fill the rest with?

I mean, honestly.

Oh, wow, wow, wee wah.

All right.

They never disappoint.

They do never disappoint.

It gave me a laugh for the first time in 24 hours, so that I appreciate.

Good for you, mountain monsters.

Good for you.

All right, well, listen, it's good to have you back.

Yes, good to be back.

You know, if you care to, you can go listen to yesterday's episode.

That's me and Gary Vee having a little chat about the day's events.

And

yeah, listen,

we got to rev down a little bit.

We've been saying it for a long time, but now this might be a moment where we all can find some clarity and rev down just a little bit.

It's too hot in the kitchen.

It's way too hot in the kitchen.

And violence only begets violence.

And we know this for a fact.

So let's everybody take a deep breath.

and agree to disagree on some things.

But

maybe like Gary and I did, we just have some calm, rational conversation and work it through.

Now, I don't have a lot of faith that that's going to happen everywhere around the world, but it'll happen right here on the commercial break.

Yeah, we get to start.

We have to be the change.

We do.

Be the change you want to see in others.

As Rom Doss once said.

Oh, Rom.

Anyway, I do want to thank Gary for coming on.

He selflessly said, I don't want to promote anything on this episode.

So go check out Gary B's social media.

He's got a marketing company if you need help.

He's an interesting guy.

Very interesting.

He started like one of the first wine clubs.

You know,

he's done it all.

He's been very successful.

He's into NFTs and cryptocurrency in a way that I think is meaningful.

Check him out.

Do a little research on Gary Vee if you don't know who he is, but I have a suspicion you know who he is.

He's pretty famous.

And yeah.

And then we'll be back next week.

Have a great weekend.

We'll be back next week with Salva Kano.

Check out that, Chrissy.

What do you think about that?

I'm excited.

What do you think about them apples?

212-433-3TCB, youtube.com/slash thecommercial break.

And at thecommercial break on Instagram, you can also go to the website, tcbpodcast.com.

Okay, I guess that's all I can do for now.

I think so.

I'll tell you that I love you.

I love you.

Best to you.

Best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Until next time, Chrissy, and I will say, we do say, and we must say.

Goodbye.

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