Merrick Gerrick and His Chromatozoa

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And welcome back to WSHIT's Cupid's Corner.

It's 11:37 p.m.

on the studio clock here on a chilly, rainy Saturday crab apple evening.

I'm your host, Barbara Ballbanger, the fourth sister wife of Pastor Bill Ballbanger.

I'm here along with my co-host, CrabApple's number one marriage and sex therapist, Dr.

Judy Schlitznitz.

Every Saturday, we take listener questions, read your emails, and give advice on your relationship concerns.

Let's review an email we just got here in the studio.

This listener is calling herself Chastity.

Chastity asks, Dear Dr.

Schlitznitz, I've been in a relationship, a serious relationship, for the last four years with my boyfriend.

However, last week, I uncovered some concerning text messages on his phone and discovered he was having coidal relationships with both my mother and my grandfather.

Very concerning chastity.

And while I certainly have my own thoughts on this, let's turn to the expert, Dr.

Schlitznitz.

Any advice for chastity in what must be a very confusing and painful time for her?

You find yourself over in the corner crying because if a man don't love you anymore, maybe because he's already got some love somewhere else.

And you just uh crying over a man with his thousands of fishes in the pool.

Well you can find one that would just do everything you want to do.

But he ain't gonna

cheat on you.

Give you all the things that you want.

You just gotta learn how to get some things for yourself.

Bye.

Well, that's certainly one way to look at it.

In our family, we have a saying, if you kissed her, invite her to be your sister.

Make lemons out of lemonade, chastity.

Okay, we'll be back with more Cupid's Corner after this commercial break.

On this episode of the Commercial Break.

At number six, you have the inability to bond with with anybody.

That's what Merrick said yesterday.

I love the notion that your body can tell the difference between a different penis.

Like, uh-oh.

Oh, yeah, this is the same thing.

This one's not the same.

Well, it can tell because there's new DNA

getting injected into your

chromatozoa.

Your spermatozoa into your chromatozoa.

Yes.

Chromote, is that?

Yeah.

Hey, dick.

Bone's connected to you.

Posty bone.

Yeah.

Okay.

So he said some really dumb shit, but he just topped it this last episode by claiming that at five guys, a woman then no longer has the ability to bond with another man because she's all full up on jizz.

That's right.

It can't accept anymore.

The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

Oh, yeah, Cats and Kittens.

Welcome back to the Commercial Break.

I'm Brian Greene.

This is my dear friend and the current co-host of the Commercial Break, Tina.

Best of you, Tina.

Best to you, Brian.

The best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Fear not, Chrissy will be back.

At some point, she is on a little break to do Mempho as she does every year.

So if you listen to the commercial break, you know this time comes around.

We just did not record enough episodes to cover that gap.

And so we're hoping that she's having a great time at Mempho Certs today.

And I get some tina time.

And I get some Tina time.

And I do love me some Tina.

So it's been a great deal of fun.

Here's to hoping we continue that.

You know, we're on a hot streak.

Let's keep it going.

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MemphoFest.com, M-E-M-P-H-Ofest.com.

Tell Chrissy we said hello.

Okay.

So over the last couple of days,

we've really covered a lot of ground.

But one of the things we talked about that I just thought might be interesting to the audience, I think we have done, Chrissy and I did this a number of years ago when Seeking Sister Wives first came out.

We reviewed what has got to be the dumbest,

dumbest, dumbest human being that's ever walked the face of the earth.

Garrick, I think Merrick is his last name.

I think it's Garrick Merrick.

I think it is.

That's worse than William Williams.

I think it's Garrick Merrick.

Let me just check this.

Oh, that's rich.

Garrick

Mirfield.

I'm sorry.

It's Garrick Mirfield.

We can call him Garrick Mirror.

I only wish his name was Garrick Mirfield.

Oh, his Instagram is private.

Aww.

Fuck that, Garrick.

Come on.

Anyway, Garrick is one of the couples who has survived the entire

six seasons of seeking sister wives.

That's a lot of S's.

Because

they are constantly on the hunt for a new wife.

There is another couple.

Well, I wouldn't even say a couple.

There's four of them.

There's three wives and one man.

They seem to be relatively stable, though they're always looking for a new wife.

They've had a couple that have come in and out too, but the three, the four of them, that core seems to stick together.

That polycule.

Pollicule.

I like that.

They seem to stay together.

Everybody else is fresh and new this season, except for Merrick and his wife.

The Mirfields, again, are some of the dumbest motherfuckers on earth.

Some of the stuff they've said on this television show is really quite unbelievable that any human being would believe this.

But we reviewed yesterday where it comes from.

It really comes from a place of not doing any homework, having no anti-science, anti-science, that's right.

Red pilling themselves to death and believing that the DNA that comes from spermatozoa inside of a woman's vagina then transmutes into the DNA of the woman, and she carries around that DNA for the rest of her life.

A new DNA has been born.

And one less relationship or bonding experience that she can now have.

Your body clock has a five.

Four,

three,

two, one.

So do you think an alarm goes off?

It must.

Does your vagina explode?

Yeah.

It just closes up.

At five, at number six, you have the inability to bond with anybody.

That's what Merrick said yesterday.

I love the notion that your body can tell the difference between a different penis.

Like, uh-oh.

Oh.

Yeah, this is the same as the same.

This one's not the same.

Well, it can tell because this new DNA

getting injected into your

chromatozoa.

Your spermatozoa into your chromatozoa.

Yes.

Chromote, is that?

Yeah.

Bones connected to you.

Posty bone.

There you go.

Yeah.

Okay.

So he said some really dumb shit, but he just topped it this last episode by claiming that at five guys, a woman then no longer has the ability to bond with another man because she's all full up on jizz.

That's right.

It can't accept anymore.

And if you think I'm joking, I am not.

Should I play the clip just in case you didn't hear it?

All right, let's please.

Okay, we'll play it because it's too dumb not to repeat.

Yeah.

Okay, listen to him.

He's talking about a new girl they've met, a new Brazilian, of course, and how they kind of came together.

Oh, sorry.

I think I do I have it on volume.

Volume.

Wait, why isn't it playing?

Someone,

this happens.

Someone has my brain.

The real gods.

Yeah.

Brian's watch.

No, what in the good geez badies?

Did TLC already ban it from my phone?

Right?

Probably did.

Let's see here.

Oh, there it is.

Serious question, like you and her, me and her.

Especially because I knew she had a

passing.

She had some men treated her really bad on me.

They found that after moment, usually around five men, that they just can't bond anymore.

And after a woman has like five different partners, the chances of her bonding or even having a lasting relationship drops like

crazy amount like

just percentage wise like

it's just the sperming inside of her changes

it's the sperm being inside of her like it just hangs out for life

i kind of want to know but i don't want to know exactly what that guy's podcast library looks like he must be listening to some of the craziest of the crazies that or like just his search history his search i yeah or chat his chat gpt

a reason to get arrested.

Yeah, I'm refusing to get arrested.

Tina and I were Googling yesterday about Blame It on Rio, and I was thinking to myself, this is a chat history worth arrest.

Yeah, we're going to end up with it.

Blame It on Rio.

How old is Demi Moore?

Okay, so here's what I thought we'd do.

For those of you that aren't aware of the Garrick Mirfields, which is probably most of you, I thought we'd give you a little refresher, not a refresher, but let's take a listen to their journey kind of on this TLC show, seeking sister wives.

We're not going to get through all of it.

We probably won't even get through most of it, but I just want to give you an idea of who Merrick and his wife are.

Garrick.

Garrick.

I'm sorry.

Who Garrick?

Garrick Merrick.

Garrick Merrick.

Who Garrick Merrick and his wife are.

I can't even remember his wife.

What's her name?

Do you know it?

I don't.

I can't remember it either.

We'll hear it here on the thing.

Okay, let's

queue it up on the old TC Bemolator here.

And here we go.

All right.

Merrifield.

Oh, the Mirrorfield.

Oh, Merryfield.

I'm getting it so wrong today.

It's not the Merrifields.

It's not the Merrifields.

It's not the Merricks.

I'm Garrick.

And I'm Danielle.

Danielle.

We're the Merrifields, and we've been married about 13 years.

We started dating when I was 18.

Does he not look like he fell off a turnip truck?

Yep.

He looks like his cousin is his cousin and his dad.

And we got married when I was 19.

We're Christians.

And we decided two years ago that God wanted us to live a plural lifestyle.

Are they good?

No, you decided you wanted you were sick of having sex with your wife.

God doesn't care.

God doesn't give a shit if you have extra wives or not.

And I love how he just casually throws in, we're Christians.

No, you're not the regular kind of Christians.

I believe in Christ, the Savior.

You are a different kind of Christian.

Tell us what that religion is so we can all understand where you're getting this hokey-pokey bullshit from.

Yeah.

We don't come from a polygamist background, but we believe in the Bible and multiple

people in there had multiple wives.

And I thought, gee, the people in there are godly people.

And I thought, gee, all those dudes from

2,000 years ago were getting their dick wet all over.

And I thought, well, if I can't close my mouth all the way, then I might as well have an extra wife.

He's such a mouth breather.

He doesn't close his mouth.

God loved him.

So I then realized God wasn't against that.

So the way I see it is living a plural lifestyle is a great way to follow Christ and be like him.

And we felt that we were called him.

Did he have multiple wives?

Not to my recollection after 14 years of Catholic school, but I wasn't paying that much attention in religion class anyway.

But if he did, that dude was riding, was Jesus riding deep?

He had the fit and everything.

That dude was walking around barefoot with multiple wives.

He didn't even have one wife.

Not even.

Merrick Garrick.

Mouth breather.

This way.

And after a few months, we finally found the other perfect woman.

The other perfect woman.

I'm emotionally abused.

Hi.

Oh, my gosh.

Hi, sister.

Okay, so this is Roberta, their very first quote-unquote sister wife.

And they had a lot of problems with her, but they'll get into that.

I met Roberta online.

It was a polygamy dig site.

I saw her profile picture and I thought she was very beautiful.

She had beautiful hair and her skin was olive and she had nice curves.

I messaged her and immediately it was an instant connection and it felt so right.

Of course.

Right.

Which man doesn't want a beautiful young Brazilian woman?

She's gorgeous.

And no knock on

whatever her name is, the other one.

What is her name?

We just learned it.

The other perfect wife.

Danielle.

No knock on Danielle, the perfect wife, because she's also a beautiful woman.

She's freaking cute.

But

who, what guy doesn't want, you know, more

of this?

It's the Hawaiian Tropic.

That's right.

Running around his house.

It's got the Hawaiian Tropic girls.

They're always from Brazil.

It seems a little weird.

Yes.

It seems more like a fetish.

What's coming to focus is he has a fetish about Brazilian women.

We've been courting Roberta for a year and four months.

Meeting Roberta for the first time was surreal.

Like the doubts were washed away and it was like, she's real.

Yeah, she's real.

She's a real girl.

I think we even said that.

She's a real girl.

I can't wait to have sex with her.

On the second night, I popped a big question.

On the second night,

he popped the question, will you marry me?

And you know why he did that.

why

because

he wants to have sex with her oh and he can't have sex with her unless they're married or probably at least engaged right that's probably one of the rules that they have about this whole polygamy thing probably

it was just a magical moment

And that was the first night Garrick and her were intimate.

Yeah.

And I marked it in my calendar.

That's the first.

She looks like she's trying so hard.

That's the first night my self-esteem went in the trash.

That's the first night I sobbed.

Pause.

It is kind of wild that we found a sister wife that does live halfway around the world, but we definitely wanted to start living together as soon as possible and be united as a family.

So we researched different ways to bring her here and talked to an attorney and realized that the only way to get Roberta Roberta here is for Garrett to legally marry her.

First of all, shoes on the bed.

Shoes on the bed.

What are you doing?

Animals.

Animals.

They don't even, they're not even human beings.

When you have shoes on the bed, you are not a human being in my mind.

That is absolutely disgusting.

Don't do that.

Second of all, there are children, young children in their family.

How must that fuck with their heads when your daddy wants a new mommy?

Right.

What's going on?

What are you telling?

This is what Jesus wants.

Yeah.

Huh?

Huh?

Not according to the Bible, Dad.

That's not what they told us at Jesus school.

That's right.

And for her to be his wife.

So there's only absolutely one option, and that is for us to get a divorce.

Yeah.

Absolutely not.

This is weird.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

This is where I.

This isn't the first time.

Yeah.

This is where.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Absolutely not.

This is where this stops for me.

If I'm the wife, this is where this stops.

You're taking away my security, legal security in this

relationship so you can get your dick wet.

No.

The whole divorce thing because she'll be his wife, but in the legal sense, you won't be.

Yeah.

Well, as far as Derek and Danielle getting a divorce, I do have some concerns with legal matters and making sure that Jeremiah and Solomon are taken care of and Danielle.

Yeah, good for you, Dad.

Jeremiah and Solomon.

Jeremiah's that's her dad.

That's her dad.

I think that's her dad.

That's her dad.

Okay, yeah.

And her mom.

And her dad needs to be a little bit more vocal.

A little more.

A little more vocal.

If I'm her dad, I'm like, you are out of your fucking mind.

I'm sitting this guy down and I'm like, you're out of your fucking mind.

Nope.

I didn't have you marry my daughter so you can divorce her to marry someone else and then live in the same house with them.

Fuck that.

Get your priorities straight and start taking care of the family that you built.

Give your head a shake.

Or get a divorce.

One of the two.

Because Danielle legally won't be married to him anymore.

You don't have any guarantee that you'll have anything.

What if he just, you know, decides to leave you for Roberta and you're left alone with nothing?

I've reviewed the decree.

It's correct.

I'm signing it now.

That divorce would have alimony, child support, the house, everything would be coming to me.

Every single thing would be in the name of me if I was the wife, if I was Danielle in this situation.

You said it's everything right.

Everything.

Because if Ethi hightails it, she is high and dry with no legal recourse.

I want rights over your dick.

Yeah.

And I want all of your spermatozoa.

And by the way, I need to stay your POA because if he gets in a car accident or some junk like that, Roberta's the one that gets to go in the room and make the decisions.

Make the decisions, go with the good, grab the bank accounts, all of that.

Absolutely not.

So the dissolution is affected?

Did anybody watch this show

post and go, hey, they're absolutely committing

criminal fraud?

Yeah.

Because

the divorce, well, at least in the state of Georgia, states that you live separate and apart.

Yeah, there's a divorce.

Yeah, there's a six-month cool-off period.

Yeah.

Look to both of of you.

All right.

Thank you.

Going through with the divorce and having all that finalized wasn't easy.

And not seeing her for a year, you start to be like, oh my gosh, is this real?

Is she real?

Like, feels nerve-wracking a little bit.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, my gosh.

Let's just get there.

Let's get there.

And I will say this, like they're now meeting Roberta down in some island somewhere where they can all meet because she can't get into the United States.

But I will say this about all of the relationships that Danielle has had with all of these Brazilian women.

Danielle seems to be really intent on making sure she's very close to these women.

Well, right?

Of course.

Yes.

She's about to live with them and have them in her house.

She has a divorcee.

Yes.

And share DNA.

She's going to be sharing DNA.

That's right.

This poor girl, Danielle.

We can finally stop shopping for women.

She's real.

No, the whole thing is just weird.

I'm sorry.

So our plan while we're here in Mexico is for Garrick and Roberta to spend all eight nights together.

I am sleeping in my own room.

Oh, my God.

In your own room?

How would you handle this?

Eight nights of vacation and I'm alone?

In your room.

And I am your wife.

Uh-uh.

And you are going to the young Brazilian girl's

for eight nights.

I've already agreed to let you have her as an additional wife.

No, as the wife.

The wife.

Somebody needs to do a well check on Danielle.

Well, everyone is the entire internet who watches this show is trying to do a welfare check on Danielle, but she seems to be a willing participant, though she also seems to kind of be stuck with Garrick.

I mean, what do you do at the end of the day?

I guess I don't know.

I mean, I would take the kids and leave.

That's what I think.

Their shirt says, choose.

She has a t-shirt on that says choose.

Me,

just pick one, please.

Next to Garrick and Roberta on the other side,

I want to be fair to Garrick and Roberta and their time together because I'm going to have time with him at home.

And we are coming into a plural relationship now.

But seeing someone kiss your husband, I don't see it every day right now.

Like Garrett texts Roberta, but you know, I don't see him kissing her and embracing her.

So it's hard.

Oh, now this is the next morning.

Here we go.

Oh, she did she sleep like a baby?

No, she just

took him coffee.

I slept like a big baby.

A big, big baby.

Last night, I was in my room, and Roberta came to get me because she was worried about me being alone.

And we just stayed up talking and hanging out till about 2 a.m.

Oh, okay.

so Roberta did the right thing there she went and she tried to make her feel better

like feel better feel better we've I've already had sex with your husband you want to come in smell the stank in the bed

you want to come smell our sex sleep with us oh my god

isn't that the worst when you walk into somebody's room and you're like fuck Now I smelled your sex.

And now I can't get it out of my nose.

Yes.

The plan was for me to have a lone time with Roberta, but Roberta felt very

sensitive towards Danielle's feelings.

And Danielle tried to resist and fight.

And it was funny to see them both debate with each other.

But they haven't seen each other in a year and they're so close.

So we ended up sleeping in the same room together, me in the middle, and the two ladies on each side.

He could cut wood with those teeth.

Are you seeing the size of those teeth?

Why don't his lips move?

I don't know.

That's what really is.

He looks like one of the

South Farg, like the Canadian.

He and the girls are hanging out, and I decided that it's funny to see them fighting over me.

Roberta demanded that she's each other to him.

Yes, everybody.

In the night in the room with us, Danielle had to go back and get her stuff and stuff.

So me and Roberta were able to be intimate quickly before Danielle came back.

And it was a good laugh because Roberto is laughing.

Oh no, sister be back.

What is he?

Is he my chromosome like abnormality?

I don't know, Tina.

He's really a weird motherfucker.

He really is.

He's weird and he's dumb.

And so you might be right.

There might be something going on with him.

He's a little off.

Yeah, like his lips don't move.

He thought that it's funny that he snuck a quick fuck in before his real wife came back in the door.

He almost couldn't say it.

He thought it was so funny.

Yeah, he didn't know how to handle it.

All All right, we'll take a break.

We'll be back.

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Be brief.

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You're welcome.

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all right we're back watching the garrick merricks here and uh

wondering what's wrong with garrick he it's something's wrong with him he he fell off the turn up truck

wow should you'll know what no

yeah it's funny that you're having sex with a woman behind your wife's back you're in an open fucking marriage tell her right?

Say it.

Yeah, tell her.

What are you going to say on the ceremony?

I'm not fully sure.

I don't know if we've talked about all the details, but just being the maid of honor.

And

I hope I can.

Yeah,

we're all in a relationship together.

We're a plural family, so we're both his wives.

Look at the lady at the event facility.

Is that legal?

No, she's like an event facility coordinator, I think.

Okay.

Congratulations.

Congratulations to you.

Yeah.

There is so much uncomfortable laughing in this.

Yeah, it is definitely nervous laughter.

Good for you guys.

I think it's time for me to have Roberta all to myself

for a special trip tomorrow.

Why are you talking to the translator to speak to your wife?

Do you know what I'm saying?

Fair question.

Yeah.

Got a little surprise for Roberta.

Really?

Rich.

Surprise?

Yeah.

Okay.

I love surprise.

Okay, they're at a beach.

They're having fun.

Let me fast forward to this a little bit.

I don't care.

Let's see how Danielle feels about them being at the beach together alone.

Told me that her and Garrick were intimate that first night, and it hurt my feelings because I felt like that she had lied to me in a sense, that she had told me that intimacy wasn't the most important thing, and then

found out that they had sex.

What did you think was going to happen, Danielle?

What did you think?

What do you think is going to happen when you open your marriage up like this?

You go through the divorce so that he can marry this girl.

He proposes on night two.

There's eight days in Mexico.

You're not even supposed to be in the room, and you thought they weren't having sex.

Yeah, you thought that

because she said sex wasn't a priority.

Maybe that's true.

Maybe sex is not a priority, but when they're alone in a room and they're about to get married, what did you do?

In paradise.

In paradise, yeah, by the way, in Cabos on Lucas.

Right.

I do feel lonely today, but at the same time, I feel like I need to start feeling that

to embrace what's going to happen and the reality of Roberta being with us every day.

If I want to sleep with both my wives today, I'm going to sleep with both of my wives.

If I want to

mutate your DNA, I'm going to do that whenever and wherever I want.

I'll make my deposits as I see fit.

That's right.

My spermatozoa is owned by no woman.

Yeah.

I know you had some feelings come at you that

maybe that Roberta didn't value you,

but you know, she told me today that

she loves you so much that if you weren't happy, that she, you know, would give up even me for you.

But are you, Garrick, even taking into account your own responsibility in this whole situation?

Right.

You're saying you had some feelings come at you about Roberta.

What about the fact that you just divorced your wife for a young, hot Brazilian?

And that's not what she said at all.

She did not say she was going to leave him because this one's upset.

She said he needs to stand up for himself.

He needs to stand up for himself and tell Danielle what's going on, or she's going to leave him.

It's pretty unmeal.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, something's wrong with the shape of his head.

And the thickness of it as well.

That's right.

You know, just like, just as you know, but she involves me.

You know, just take away some of those doubts.

You know.

But she's like, conscious about you.

Love you so very

So,

in other words, everything ends well for them on season number one.

But then shit starts getting real season number two.

Now, here, let's see here.

Now they're home.

Yeah, now they're home.

She's not with them yet.

Unable to send her Lanny.

Unfortunately, once Roberta relocated to her cousin's house to live, her cell service has become terrible.

Her cousin has no internet.

And it starts touring it.

Mom, it's just...

I feel super emotional right now about everything.

COVID has shown us that we definitely have no guarantee of what's going to happen tomorrow.

Our plan was always to get married in Mexico after her visa got approved.

But with COVID shutdowns, it's still going to take quite a while before, you know, her visa is approved.

So me and Roberta decided together that COVID feels like a tire

lifetime away.

Yes.

With her being 33 and not getting any younger, we're going to go ahead and plan a trip to Mexico with or without the visa to try to have a baby.

She said, oh, that face tells it all.

That face says it all.

This time we're being a little more cautious with COVID and we've kind of splurged and rented a villa for our whole family.

Oh, the kids are coming too.

Oh, let the kids come and watch Daddy get his dick wet.

That's amazing.

Teaching the kids.

I love it when you teach the kids.

Let's indoctrinate them early.

A good valuable lesson about a beautiful house in Cabo San Lucas so your side piece can show up.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Eddie, look at that view.

Wow, it's beautiful.

I love it.

Really?

That's TLC money, huh?

Yeah, that's right.

$5,000 an episode goes far.

You know, TLC rented this for them, for sure.

For sure.

Nice.

This is a nice room.

Oh, wow.

How is the chef?

That's his dad.

Her parents, yes.

And why are they waiting cowboy house?

They brought her parents to make a baby with the new wife.

Yes.

Because that's what you do when one.

When one decides to get the side piece pregnant,

you bring the whole thing.

You invite your wife's family.

That's what I'd do.

I'd call up Gustavo and I'd call up the whole family.

You want to watch me transmute my DNA into another woman?

She's on number four, so we got one shot at this.

Oh, this is nice.

How romantic.

Direct access to the hot tub.

Yeah, this will be.

Me and Bert's room, huh?

Is she like digging?

Yeah, how bitters.

Yeah, how bittersweet this must be for her.

Everywhere she looks, it's just a sign.

Yeah, you're going to get fucked in that one, and she's going to get fucked in that one.

And are you going to come see me in my room?

Do I even exist?

Do I get to go to the hot tub?

I guess I'm babysitting the kids.

Unbelievable.

Yeah.

Husband, sister, Amelia.

Oh, my God.

Oh, look how she's assuring the kids everything's okay.

She's hugging.

Yeah.

Look at that kid.

He's like, Mama.

Mia, daddy, side piece.

Did you come with those titties?

Mommy too is awesome.

Mommy too's got great ass.

Mommy too saw his braces.

Look at those two kids.

By the way, these two kids are probably like 13 and 14 years old.

They're like teenagers.

And the way that they're looking at this new wife is like, Mama, Mia.

My heart.

Me too.

After a long time without seeing Garrick, what impresses me the most,

not our love.

Our love has not changed or diminished in one bit.

It seems like this is a dream.

I can't believe it.

It is so very nice to finally have you here, and our family is getting united.

I really hope we have luck and the baby also.

How weird.

I would not want my husband saying that in front of my parents.

Yeah, just to set the scene, they're all out by the pool.

Her mom and dad, Danielle's mom and dad are with them.

And Garrick is talking about making a baby there while they're...

Text to translate to talk to Roberta.

That's the first.

If Astrid had not known English or I had not known enough Spanish, if we had had a total language barrier, like if we had to use the translate app every time, I don't think it would have worked out.

I think it just would have been too frustrating on both of our behaviors.

Yes, because you can't communicate freely and honestly when you have to stop.

Yeah, and things get lost in translation.

100% they do.

Yeah.

Oh, baby.

Are you sure that you're ready for a commitment?

You haven't really known Roberta that long.

He can't even respond.

Are you sure you're?

I know.

He's like, oh.

Like, he never even thought of that.

I hear his head right now.

530!

Trick of blood pung!

Don't answer!

Don't answer!

Oh,

on board with it.

Oh, yeah.

Sounded so confident.

Oh, yeah, I thought it all through.

Danielle's like, Danielle's like,

why can't I have another baby?

Yeah.

100%.

It would be hard to have a baby, her being so far away, and you not being able to see him.

Yeah.

That's true.

That's true.

But, you know, God will work through anything.

But once you get back to Colorado, I mean, how will that be?

I mean, you think that'll work out well?

Or?

You know, I do.

Like, any troubles or anything?

You know, it'll be different.

But I know she loves Danielle so much.

And even if it isn't easy, you know, you love each other and you stick together as a family.

Now that I'm

he, she loves Danielle so much, has nothing to do with whether or not you guys should have a baby.

The parents are bringing up really prescient points.

And the daughter, Danielle looks like she wants to say something, but she won't.

She just keeps literally biting her mouth.

Well, I think her parents are speaking for her, right?

And he's either speaking for her.

Yeah, or they are.

That's right.

She doesn't, she'll never speak up for herself.

She needs to.

Roberta and talk to her and see how happy you all are as a family and and with the boys.

I'm really happy about it.

I think it's going to work out very well for you.

Okay, no more drinks for you, mom.

You totally lost the plot here.

You're in a beautiful look.

You've got that vacation glow, and you're not thinking correct.

Yeah, because the sun's gotten to your head, lady.

Yeah, there's nothing good about that.

Nothing.

Oh, mom, I love you.

She's nice.

How do you feel, Dad?

Why didn't I think of that?

Oh, I haven't met myself.

He's like, well, I've been talking to your mom, and we've decided I need a 30-year-old Brazilian side piece.

So, your mom.

Yeah, getting a Mexican divorce so that I can get a Brazilian wife pregnant and then not see the child.

Thanks, Garrick.

You've made life easier for all of us.

I'm happy.

This morning, the lawyer called and left me a voicemail.

And

Roberta's first part of her K-1 has just gotten approved.

Wow.

That's fantastic.

America first part.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Approved.

Yeah.

America first part.

It doesn't even mean anything.

What does that mean?

The first part of the K-1 visa got approved.

Probably means that the paperwork was accepted.

The valid paperwork.

I've been through this process,

a similar process.

The paperwork was accepted.

It doesn't mean she's coming to America.

He's saying this to make everybody feel more comfortable about him exchanging spermatozoa with yet another wrecking another lady's DNA.

That's right.

He is such a shithead.

Well, congratulations.

Yeah, great.

Yeah.

One more step.

She has an interview in Rio at the embassy there.

It has been over a year now since we've seen Roberta in person.

Yeah, okay, so this, by the way, this is like a little synapsis video.

So they're cutting quickly between the timelines.

Now they had the whole

week with her in Mexico, and now she went back to Brazil and uh-oh.

Roberta had her visa approved not too long ago, but she hasn't come to the U.S.

yet because her mom's health is not good.

Things are definitely back to the waiting game.

Not knowing when she'll be here, but we're definitely planning as soon as she gets here to definitely start the baby-making process again.

I'm ready to fuck her.

Fuck her.

Every time he says that, she makes that same fucking face.

No, because she knows what it means.

It doesn't mean anything except he wants to have a lot of fun.

Oh, she's still on the pill.

Roberta is the smartest one of them all all because you better believe Roberta's taking precautions.

Yeah.

You can see it as now that it's played out over a couple of seasons, but Roberta wasn't dumb in the first place.

She wasn't going to have a baby with this guy unless she was in the house and married to him.

Think about more siblings.

I guess a boy.

Hey boy.

I think it'd be good for you guys to have a sister.

You better get on those baby making then, you know?

Well, once Burr gets here.

Talk about baby making in front of the children.

Is that the whole over coffee?

Morning coffee?

Yeah, this whole family, and they're living in an RV.

Look at that, they're living in a truck

because they were building a house.

Okay, I'm like, they had a house.

Roberta definitely wants to have children.

Um, we did try it in Cabo when we went down last November.

Garrick failed on getting her pregnant.

Has she been dying to say that?

Can't wait to cut him down.

Garrick's limp dick didn't work with me, and it doesn't work with her.

Even a new hot Brazilian wife couldn't fix his boner problems, His half-heart.

Thanks for doing the dishes, buddies.

In preparation for Roberta coming to the U.S.

and hopefully Burton Garrick having more babies, we started building a bigger home from scratch.

Bejos, Piamor,

love you.

I have a custom home building company, so it's a lot easier for us as a family to design

a baby that fits our plural lifestyle.

My parents had...

And with that custom home building business, business, I've decided to build a rectangle house.

Yes, he built a rectangle house.

So beautiful, Garrick.

Of basically their own little apartment, I would call it.

We want to be close to them as they age and be able to help them.

They've been really kind and supportive about us living a plural lifestyle.

Temporarily, we're living in a fifth-wheel trailer until we can get moved into our new house.

We've been living in the trailer for almost five months.

Yeah, and if those pictures of that house were any indication, they spent another 10 months in that trailer because they were nowhere close.

Okay,

let's move forward here a little bit in the storyline.

I just feel like we need to, oh, wait.

Maybe he talks about the sperm here.

Wait.

Yeah, that will be a change.

I am not expecting that jealousy will come back for me.

I think there will definitely be an adjustment with a third coming in, and I think it'll be maybe a little more challenging for Roberta being on the opposite end of that, you know.

I did think it would help Bert, though, too, because what about the night she's not with me?

I told her that, too, when we were and she could be building a friendship and sisterhood.

It's hard on Roberta with us looking for a third, but at the same time, yeah, they go looking for a third.

Here's the surprise, surprise.

There is no end to Garrick's temptation.

He keeps on wanting more and more wives.

That one's too far away.

I need to go to Rio and get my best friend's daughter.

That's what I need.

Well,

that's what he's doing.

All right, we'll take a break.

We'll be back.

Okay, you're probably wondering why I, Rachel, have taken over the voice duties at TCB.

It's pretty simple.

Astrid asked me to shut Brian up, even for a minute.

Well, lovely Astrid, your wish is my command.

Do you want to help Astrid too?

You know you do.

Leave a message for her or me or Chrissy at 212-433-3 TCB.

That's 212-433-3822.

You can be on the show too.

Just call and say something, anything.

Or text us and we'll text you right back.

Promise.

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All right, we're back with Garrick.

We're running through the Garrick and Danielle story.

We're still in season number two.

He was with Roberta.

You heard all of it.

And then they brought in a third person

to try and

third sister wife is what they were trying to do.

He's having a more some.

Yes,

for some moresome.

Let's.

I want to fast forward just a little bit.

Here he's getting an update from Roberta on what's going on with the K1 visa and why she's not coming.

Oh, baby.

Miss you.

Good night, Joe.

You're so special.

You're very special.

You're so special.

No, you're you're so special.

No, you're the first one I've cheated on my wife with.

You're so special.

Yeah.

Hey, dude, Garrick, I got an idea.

Why don't you turn on TLC on any given Sunday night and watch another show about sister wives called sister wives?

Yeah.

And see how that all worked out for them.

those people are now all divorced that's right um okay so they're dating this other girl it doesn't really go all that well

i'm just gonna fast forward to this just a little bit um because so roberta's just not coming roberta never shows back up she never shows back up um

and here maybe we can hear some about it um

Hold on, I'm going to get to

okay here.

All right.

So the whole sharing sharing a room thing is actually kind of exciting to me.

Yeah, right now it's not a big deal because like there's just two of us.

So

most of the time we'll have our own room.

One thing that we knew building the house that we wanted Garrick to have his own room as the head of our house and king of the family.

But we don't know what the third

is like if she would like to have her own room.

Maybe we'll have her other house by then.

Sure.

Wow, these guys are making all kinds of plans and intentions.

No humans to fill the space.

No humans to fill the space because everyone sees this dip shit for really who he is, including Roberta, who never shows back up in their lives, by the way.

She just never shows up.

And they had another sister wife they were courting.

That lady decided that she didn't like the situation.

I'm out of here.

Yeah, I'm out of here.

Because at the end of the day, I think most

of the women who interact with Garrick

feel Danielle's pain.

I agree.

Women are going to be in tune to that.

And if I'm walking into that situation, if I'm Roberta and it doesn't seem even-footed, I'm out.

Yes.

I think the most difficult thing to find, but I watch all these seeking sister wives, sister wives, you know, my sister, sister wife, my brother wife, whatever it is.

I know people who do it.

Yeah.

I know people who have been in plural relationships before.

And it appears to me that the most difficult thing to do is strike balance

is that everyone feels emotionally secure about their place at any given time.

It is in our nature.

You know, some people will argue it's not in our nature to be monogamous with one person for the rest of your life.

Okay,

I can see how that argument could be made.

I'm not dumb.

I understand that scientifically and there might be.

We're not monogamous by nature.

We're not monogamous by nature.

But what we are by nature is needy in emotional security and stability.

And we're also possessive of our emotional stability and security.

So if someone comes into the situation and threatens that, it feels, I get fight or flight.

Especially a mother of two.

Yes.

If there were no kids, it might be a little different.

The dynamic would be a little different.

But that, yeah.

What drives me crazy about all of these shows, about anybody who, who, about most of these shows, now there are some guys who just say, I just want another wife.

Right.

I just want, I want want to have more fun like the other couples in this you don't have to have a wife you can just have side pieces pick a collab when you go out together that's right it just it's over that next yeah or it's over in a couple weeks or a couple months or whatever yeah it's not that serious what drives me a little crazy about most of these guys is that they use the bible as the backbone or the justification

and it's disgusting the bastardizing of the religion yes because sure you can find examples of plural marriages in the Bible.

You can find an example of just about anything in that book.

That's right.

It's a very lengthy book.

It's one of the most lengthy books.

Have you ever tried to read it?

It's lengthy.

It's got a lot of words.

No one fucking understands it.

That's why there's a million different interpretations of it.

Of course, there's you can find justification for anything in the Bible.

Anything.

And this has been proven time and time.

Ask Chat GPT anything.

Can you prove?

Use the Bible to prove.

Yeah.

Hold on one second.

What are you going to ask me?

Does the Bible

condone

washing

your penis on the Sabbath?

Did chat tell you to stop?

It says no.

However,

it does not directly say thou shalt not wash the penis on the Sabbath.

What it does say

is

focus on resting.

So it says rest, pray, and I can find justification as to why one would think that.

Because even Chat GPT knows that you can twist those words into any.

There's lots of people throughout history who've had plural marriages, but there's nowhere, nowhere.

In 2025, do I think it makes sense for people to take multiple wives.

Right.

I just don't.

No.

I just don't.

And using God as a reason, it just, what is the defense for that for your wife?

What is no, we're living a godly life.

God came to me and said this.

If you believe in God and Jesus as much as I do, then what's the defense?

How are you defending that?

How am I defending?

How are you combating that if I say Jesus told me to do it?

Jesus also said to remain faithful.

I mean, Jesus, I don't think, said any of those.

God came to me.

He said, in order for our family to be prosperous, we have to have more wives.

I think you're going to have to move out.

That's what you would say.

Yes.

Because you don't, you know,

fire and brimstone.

You can't have an open relationship without wifing someone else.

I totally agree with you.

This is this.

If all they want is to go play, have playtime, send the kids to grandma's house, go have playtime.

Totally.

And leave the playthings at the Play Center.

Yeah.

And then come back home and be

opposed to sexual exploration.

I mean, not for my marriage.

Please, Astrid, don't misunderstand me.

Astrid, don't misunderstand me.

I'm not opposed to that.

I think that that is something that a lot of couples do have done, will do.

I'd rather you be upfront about it.

Swinging is a thing.

Yeah.

Fuck.

You have at it.

Go down to your villages.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Do it.

This is unnecessary.

This is unnecessary.

This is out of bounds because you can tell he really just wants to sleep with the girl.

Yes.

Back to the baby making.

She was like, no.

No.

This is emotional abuse, as far as I'm concerned, for Danielle.

And I really do wish someone would check on them.

I really do.

Okay.

So here we go.

I think Roberta is just dropping the hint right here.

Let's pray.

Let's pray.

Let's pray.

It's late.

She's not even answering.

No.

She stopped communicating.

Yeah.

Sometimes that gets hard, the

inability to communicate, you know, and like, especially special moments like this.

It's true.

I definitely think I'm a priority to Roberta and my family.

I know she loves us dearly.

Oh, by the way, Danielle got pregnant.

That's what happened.

Danielle ended up getting pregnant.

I know she's always trying to help everybody in the family.

And sometimes I think that can cause her to,

you know, get pulled in a lot of directions.

I know it's out of her control.

Yeah, it's definitely.

She doesn't live there.

She doesn't live there.

She doesn't do anything.

She's not even down the road.

Yeah, she's in a whole other country.

She is in Brazil.

And she's not answering your phone calls.

Take the hint.

Yeah, really.

Yeah, yeah.

It's clearly that Roberta wants to have nothing to do with it.

As much as there's so much change going on and her visa has been approved, it's it's like, is it really going to happen?

They'd say no.

Now,

this is God.

Now.

Now.

It's just,

it gets a little tiresome sometimes, not knowing.

Yeah.

What if she suggests another husband?

Like, hey, you go find your extra.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

I'm going to go find some extra husbands.

I'm going to have to divorce you, though.

Now you're just being silly, Tim.

You're just being silly.

That's crazy business.

We're not gonna be doing that.

Oh, here's the brother and sister, a Garrick's brother.

Oh, Garrick's best friend, I think, actually.

S.A.

That's the one Bert and I made together.

It's pretty.

It is pretty.

Have you talked to Bert recently or no?

We just talked to her today, actually.

Oh, okay.

Hmm.

How's she doing?

We did a video call.

Yeah.

But she cried.

We all cried a lot.

We all cry.

Yeah.

You guys cry a lot.

Sam and Samantha are very close to us.

They're a very important part of our lives.

Sam and Sam.

Sam and Sam.

We definitely.

Sam and Sam.

Who's named me Sam and these families?

I love it.

We value their opinion.

Their opinion comes from a place of love and care.

So you're going to have babies and then a wedding?

Yeah, that's the plan.

It's going to be hard.

I don't know, Danielle.

I feel like it's a little too fast.

I have to wonder if he's doing this out of lust.

Sometimes I wonder if she's truly happy or if she's just doing this because she wants to make her husband happy.

Because I've never met her.

Sometimes I have doubts.

It's your guys' life, you know.

I just don't want you guys to get hurt.

At least you're already divorced, David.

Yeah, seriously.

At least you're one step ahead.

You got the divorce part out of the way, Danielle.

We all have like our different personalities, and I think that's how it will be when Roberta's here, too, like give and take.

Like even when her and I were talking about the sister wife thing, like adding a third third and why I wanted it and why she didn't want it and like she wants it now

um

none of us really speak her language.

She understands my point of view better.

Like she's okay if God wants it.

Now she's like open to it I think more so because she realizes why I wanted it.

Like you know when I'm with Garrick and it's not her turn, you know, then she's not alone.

And so we always have somebody there to support us.

She's sister's like.

Wow.

Her sister.

Yeah.

Listen, it gets more bonkers.

You know what I'll do?

Maybe for the next episode, I'll pull some clips from this season.

We can catch up on the, up with them.

Also, there's another couple that's highly interesting to me in this particular sixth season that you'll, that you'll watch.

Maybe I'll pull some clips from the first episode because one of the couples that is seeking a sister wife, it is clear to me, and they even say it, that everybody thinks the husband is gay.

And he is extraordinarily flamboyant.

For a straight man, he's extraordinarily flamboyant.

He even says, a lot of people think I'm gay, you know, because I talk with my hands and I like good clothing and I love, you know,

I'd love to go see a good Broadway play.

And

he's out there trying to find

another wife.

And the women he's approaching are laughing at him because they don't take him seriously.

They don't think he's straight.

So it is very

interesting.

All right.

Well, listen, we'll get,

I'll take this into another episode next week.

Thank you very much for being here.

Of course.

I certainly appreciate it.

Thank you for having me.

Maybe you'll join us next week.

Maybe.

Okay, I'd like that.

Please do.

Maybe you'll join.

That's true.

I'm not flamboyant.

I'm not gay.

I just like men.

It was a.

I'm not gay.

I just love a good.

This is sort of like not inhaling.

I love a good D, and I love a good A, and I love a good D and a good A.

You know what I'm saying?

What's wrong with that?

It's not gay.

No, it's not gay.

I didn't inhale.

There was a show on TLC for a while.

It no longer is available anywhere.

I tried to pull clips.

There's only short clips of it.

And it's about the club of men in Utah who are gay.

They're homosexual, but they are married and they have a club.

The men get together

to help each other with the homosexual.

Oh, Jesus.

I mean, I'm all for it.

At least they got a safe place to go.

No, no, no.

They're not fucking.

Oh.

They're trying to keep each other on the straight and error.

They're openly gay, but they're married.

And they're openly gay in the church.

And they,

okay, well.

It's called like secretly gay or something like that, right?

Or no, openly, secretly gay or it's some show.

I heard about it a couple of months ago.

I found clips online.

I read about it.

It sounds infinitely interesting.

I'm going to have to see if I can go prime it's so easy like I did with you.

It got so much flack from the church and from other people that TLC took it down and they wiped it from the internet.

So there are people who have parts of it out there, but you can't find much of it.

And it's these like five or six men and they are openly gay and openly gay in the church and they have wives, but they will they will not go there they just don't go there they just don't have sex with men

okay that sounds incredibly unhealthy to me but okay yes that approach okay whatever there's blowback there's always a blowback first of all yeah the pendulum does swing one way or the other right

all right tcbpodcast.com you can go get your free sticker watch all the audio watch all the video 212-433-3 TCB questions comments concerns contents ideas at the commercial break on Instagram and youtube.com slash the commercial break for all the episodes on video the same day they air here on audio.

Okay, Tina, I guess that's all I can do for today, so I'll tell you that I love you.

And I love you.

Best to you.

Best to you.

And best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Until next time, Tina, I will say, we do say, and we must say.

Goodbye.

Bye.

You don't technically need this car.

You say that out loud to yourself.

You say, I have no space.

You say, eh, I'm just looking.

Then you click.

Then you zoom in on photo number 87 and whisper, oh no.

Then you text a friend, the one who always enables you.

You say to yourself, this is the last one, knowing it is not.

You don't need this car.

But maybe, just maybe, this car needs you.

Bring a trailer.

It's never just a car.

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