Now I'm a Belieber! (The Return Of Carl Lentz)

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Speaker 2 This is WSHIT's head sports reporter, Jim Touchdown Jefferies. Welcome to the game of the week.

Speaker 2 That's right, I'm the same touchdown Jim that scored the final six points in the state Class D Championship game back in 1976.

Speaker 2 You may remember the game as fondly as I do.

Speaker 2 Touchdown Jim, that's me, ran 72 yards in the wrong direction, confused by the bright lights, only to be carried back by my quarterback to the opposing end zone, where

Speaker 2 the final touchdown was scored. And while I had not even made the team that year, we were six players short that day because the opposing team failed to show up and the coach made the call.

Speaker 2 And that, my good friends, is how history is made. That's how history is made.
We have a hell of a game for you tonight.

Speaker 2 The Crab Apple Nutbags, our boys, are facing their toughest competitors in the Sheboygan Sheep Wranglers. This, my friends, is as exciting as a six to seven year old T-ball match is ever going to get.

Speaker 2 So let's go down to the field where Coach Derek Ponderosa is fresh off probation and ready to give his pregame talk.

Speaker 2 Our goals.

Speaker 2 Listen, listen. Our goals are to hit dingers.
Everybody better have their eyes on me.

Speaker 2 Eyes on me, Rylan. Hit dingers.

Speaker 3 Disgrace the pitcher's family.

Speaker 2 Make the other families, other players cry and stomp their butts into the ground. Does everyone understand that?

Speaker 2 Does everybody understand that?

Speaker 2 Look, fellas, look, look, look.

Speaker 2 There are two types of people in this world. There's two types of people in this world.
There's winners and there's losers. And just so that we're clear, every time we we step on this field,

Speaker 2 our goal is to be a winner. And if your dad has said, oh, it doesn't matter whether you win or lose, just as long as you have fun, well, I hate to say it, your dad's a loser.
Okay? So

Speaker 2 let's get our hands in. That team's pretty good, but we are gooder.
So let's go gooder on three.

Speaker 2 Let's go gooder on three.

Speaker 2 I could not have said it better myself, coach. Your dad is a loser indeed.

Speaker 2 Let's take a quick commercial break, and we'll be back with the game.

Speaker 2 On this episode of the Commercial Break.

Speaker 2 We're still in touch with Beeves. I say, hey, Beeves, come on over.

Speaker 2 We'll smoke a blunt.

Speaker 2 We'll get on pornhub. A little b-ball.
We'll play a little basketball, a little b-ball. I'm in my timeout period, but trust me, when I come back, you're going to love it, Beeves.

Speaker 2 We'll be back together before too long. Paparazzi, just waiting out something for us.
All right, I got to go.

Speaker 4 Hope with this whole thing is that you can look at what's happened in our life and maybe you can recognize a little bit of your story in ours and together we can all grow.

Speaker 4 So the future of the podcast is going to be me bringing on people that I love, that have changed my life, that have helped me heal, that are helping me heal.

Speaker 2 And that's the future. But the right...
Including full-time AVN winner, Fair Abraham.

Speaker 2 Fair Abraham is my first catch.

Speaker 2 The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, cats and kittens. Welcome back to the Commercial Break.
I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley.
Best of you, Chris. Best to you, Brian.

Speaker 2 Best of you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us.

Speaker 2 Were you a Girl Scout? I was. You were? Well, I was a brownie, which is the one right before Girl Scouts.
And then I think I did

Speaker 2 Girl Scouts for one year. So I just did like brownie one year and Girl Scout one year.
Did the brownies sell the cookies?

Speaker 2 I can't remember. I'm so young.
Man, I'll tell you what, it's Girl Scout cookie time, and that is a dangerous time for all of our waistlines around here because

Speaker 2 they are so good.

Speaker 2 The tag-alongs or whatever you call them, now they have the

Speaker 2 toffee something or other. Those toffee ones are good.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 Absolutely addictive. A regular old shortbread cookie with toffee pieces in it.
It is crack. That's what it is.
It's crack. Now that I don't smoke crack anymore, that's my crack.
It's crack.

Speaker 2 There's no doubt. And my kids love them and everybody loves them.
We spend about $110 on cookies every year and they're gone within the week.

Speaker 2 And they're getting more expensive and you're getting less of them. It's shrinkflation.
Shrinkflation is happening with the Girl Scout cookies.

Speaker 2 cookies and i want to know something so one of the people in our family loosely related to our family sells them to us each year we go to her to you know make sure we help her yeah she's our dealer

Speaker 2 yes exactly she's our dealer charging seven dollars a box but then somebody else on facebook was selling them for six dollars a box And then I go to the store the other day and there's a lady like there is often in suburbia selling the cookies outside for $15 a box.

Speaker 2 Whoa. Why the price discrepancy? Yeah, I didn't think you could just charge whatever you wanted.
Shouldn't it just be one flat rate? Like across the country, one flat rate for the cookies?

Speaker 2 Why do we have $15 a box? $15 a box. I mean, the difference between six and seven, okay, but $15.
Yeah, okay, I get the six and seven.

Speaker 2 You know, one person wants to make, I guess it's about how much money you raise and maybe not how many boxes you sell. But I think it should be converse.

Speaker 2 The situation should be inversed. Like, I think that we should have how many boxes you sell, not how much money you make.
And I guess that doesn't make any sense either.

Speaker 2 But listen, I don't care what it is, just make it one price. Yeah.
$6 a box, and you get as many as you did last year because this year. 15 is crazy.
I'm sorry. I'm stuck on the 15.
It's 15.

Speaker 2 It was 15. And these people look like they were scamming people.
I didn't like it. And they were a little pushy about it too.
They're like, all right, tell your local girls' count troop.

Speaker 2 And I was like, oh, I'm sorry. I already bought at the office or whatever.
And she was like, you can buy more.

Speaker 2 Support local.

Speaker 2 And I'm like, how do do you know i didn't buy them local i didn't but how do you know i didn't buy them local i got mine shipped in from north carolina you got a problem with that is that okay i don't know anyway anybody who's got girl scouts in their life knows that this time of year is dangerous and then we all got to wait another year to get them though i do see that they are selling some of these at the grocery stores now really girl scout cookies at the grocery stores yes i don't know what's going on but i think i saw them at whole foods or walmart or one of those things or something they're all up in upheaval Yeah, like, I mean, if they're cutting out the middleman, then how are those girls going to make money?

Speaker 2 You know what I'm saying? I thought that was the thing. They were exclusive to the Girl Scouts.

Speaker 2 They are exclusive to the Girl Scouts, but I think the Girl Scouts have decided they can make money year-round on this.

Speaker 2 Why wait? And that's true. Yeah.
And I don't know if the Girl Scouts are like the Boy Scouts, but you know, the Boy Scouts aren't exactly on a hot run right now.

Speaker 2 I don't know if you know this or not, but

Speaker 2 it's a tough time for the Boy Scouts in general. And the Boy Scouts, I believe, now have to allow girls in the the Boy Scout troops if they ask.

Speaker 2 So there you go. Do the boys get to go to the Girl Scouts? Sure.
Probably, I guess. I don't know.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 I went to two Boy Scout meetings. And I got to be honest, the guys who were leading the meetings were giving off vibes, if you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 And I was only there for two things, whatever you call them, meetings, Boy Scout troop, whatever,

Speaker 2 conferences. I don't even know what the fuck you call them.
At the local Catholic church, the leaders were giving off vibes.

Speaker 2 I could feel it, and I was only 13 years old, and they wanted to do a camping trip the very next weekend. And I, and my dad was like, y'all want to go?

Speaker 2 And I don't want to go to fucking, I don't know what's going on there, dad. Some, something's going on.

Speaker 2 None of those troop leaders have kids, and they're all interested in having kids. You know what I'm saying? I'm not saying anything bad was happening.

Speaker 2 I'm saying I, in my little pea brain at that time, I had a spidey sense about the whole situation. I didn't like it.
It was not for me.

Speaker 2 I did know a lot of Boy Scouts, and I know some guys who are Eagle Scouts. Oh, yeah.
Which is not easy to do. It's like when you become an Eagle Scout, I think you have to do a bunch of.

Speaker 2 You got to tie a bunch of knots. Yeah, you got to know how to tie multiple knots when you're an Eagle Scout.
And like, you know, skin a bear with your bare teeth or something like that. I don't know.

Speaker 2 Don't you have to catch a bald eagle and

Speaker 2 ride it around or something? I think so. Yeah, you have to make a fire with nothing but your fingers.
I mean, it's like a complicated complicated thing.

Speaker 2 And when I see an Eagle Scout, you know, be proud you're an Eagle Scout. That was not an easy thing to do.
But at what age do you stop saying Eagle Scout? Or do you always put that on your resume?

Speaker 2 I don't know. I do remember interviewing.
I was never involved in any of those things. Yeah, no, I'm being neither.
I was never involved in any high achievement at any level. None.
Zero.

Speaker 2 Not even like middle-level achievement.

Speaker 2 I do remember interviewing a guy at Clear Channel when I was doing interviews. I remember interviewing a guy and he had Eagle Scout on his resume.
And I asked him, I said, what is this about?

Speaker 2 What do you Eagle Scout? What are you doing there? And he said, well, you got to be an Eagle Scout's an important thing. It's recognized by the United States government.

Speaker 2 He went on this whole diatribe. And I found myself really impressed.
I didn't hire him because he's going to make me look bad.

Speaker 2 He's going to make me look bad. I didn't need any more competition there.
I looked pretty bad as it was. I didn't need yet another guy.

Speaker 2 I felt like if he was the guy who could take my job, never had to hire the guy who's going to replace you. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.
Hire people who aren't going to replace you.

Speaker 2 And I had plenty of those. To make you look good.
Yeah. Well, they didn't let me hire anybody.
Any, I mean, I didn't like, I only had one direct hire, and she never came to work. So I don't know.

Speaker 2 She had a period for like three months one time. She really did.
I was like, oh, okay. I mean, and I wasn't arguing.
No, sir, Bob, was I arguing? I knew better. My mom raised me right.

Speaker 2 I was like, okay, you take the 56 day off in a row, I guess. Okay.

Speaker 2 All right. Update on Firefest as it stands right now.
Though when this episode comes out, there will probably be more information about this. But I just noticed something

Speaker 2 that is very interesting about this. There's been an update.
As we record this now, there's been an update.

Speaker 2 to the Fire Fest 2 or to Billy McFarland's uh instagram page where he's telling people this is the only official communication is going to come from me and my instagram page so with a rousing 620 likes the he has announced that firefest 2 has changed venues i just noticed this it's now at playa del carmen in the heart of the mexican riviera

Speaker 2 Mayan Riviera. Well, yeah, they call it the Mexican Riviera, the Mayan Riviera, is Quintana Roo.

Speaker 2 And that is, you know,

Speaker 2 I think that's kind of close to Tulum because that's where I just was. I remember seeing that pop up like on my maps of where I was.
I do remember

Speaker 2 when Raphael visited Tulum a couple of times. I do remember like pictures he tagged himself in at the

Speaker 2 Quintana Roo or something. Well, that's just a general location.
Like, that's not a venue. Like, that's not a hotel.
Well, so he's naming, so here's the thing.

Speaker 2 And this is what, this is, I think that I understood this is probably what was going to happen. There is no stage.
It's not a festival in the traditional sense.

Speaker 2 This is more like South by Southwest, where there are multiple places you're going to go to see different things. Because now he's naming clubs at Playa del Carmen where things are going to happen.

Speaker 2 So it says happening at Playa del Carmen in the heart of the Mayan Riviera.

Speaker 2 The venues are the Martina Beach Club, the Coralina Beach Club, the Mayan Water Complex, and other private villas and beach locations.

Speaker 2 I mean, if this doesn't sound like the most work you've ever done, this is where everything's going to be happening, but we're not telling you what it is. Yes, everything's happening.
Don't worry.

Speaker 2 Just come. We've got a bunch.
Yes. We have got some people booked that you're not going to believe, including bench warming college athletes from volleyball teams.
You're going to love it.

Speaker 2 It's going to be awesome. That's so crazy.
It's so crazy. No one's playing.
No one's been announced. Still two months out, not even less than two months out.
Still, no one on the agenda.

Speaker 2 Not one person has been officially announced. Not one band,

Speaker 2 not even one sports star. He keeps putting pictures of sports stars on his Instagram, but I don't know that they're going and they haven't made an official announcement.

Speaker 2 And now he's basically telling you he switched locations. He was doing it here.
Now he's doing it like 100 miles down the beach.

Speaker 2 So now if you've bought tickets and you've got your hotel accommodations, you got to switch them to the new location. This is the disaster waiting to happen, and I'm here for it.

Speaker 2 I hope that Netflix is on top of this. Oh, they've got to be.
I don't care if you're paying Billy. Let Billy make a little money to pay those people back.

Speaker 2 Give them $100,000 and say,'I want all access, and you have absolutely no control over the editor's cut. None.
Zero. We're going to show everything.'

Speaker 2 It really is so wild that he would do this again. Like, and not insane.
Completely buttoned up and on the up and up. Not be 100%

Speaker 2 cocksure and fire ready, no pun intended, for this, for everything. And if I was going to do it, I told you this.

Speaker 2 I would go to a bunch of millionaire investors, and there are plenty of dumb dumbs out there with zeros in their bank account, and I would say, guys, in an escrow account, controlled by lawyers.

Speaker 2 and actual festival managers who are not related to me in any way, shape, or form, never worked with them before. You choose them.

Speaker 2 I need money in a bank account because I have the PR ability to make this happen. My name.
I mean, he did. He did.
He did. He did.
He did. But he still does.

Speaker 2 That's the thing is that he's so well known now because of all the drama around Fire One. He could have pulled this off had he done it the right way, could have, but he's not going to.

Speaker 2 It's not going to happen. And this also, this change of venue last minute tells me that there's not many tickets that have been bought.
Because he wouldn't, you couldn't do this.

Speaker 2 If everyone was planning on going one place, you couldn't then just move it to another venue. And I mean, I guess you could, but that'd be a really shitty thing to do.

Speaker 2 So he's already leaving people stranded, essentially, is what's happening.

Speaker 2 Here's some of the comments. Came for the comments.

Speaker 2 Can't wait to see the Netflix series. Please, Netflix.
Does Playa Del Carmen know about this?

Speaker 2 Some other person says, I'm calling him later on to let them know.

Speaker 2 Nice. A venue change two months before the event.
Sounds very fierific.

Speaker 2 I heard Michael Jackson is gonna play nope breaking news fire two headliners include Snoop Cat One Pock Kanye East Big Wayne and 25 Cent

Speaker 2 yeah the only way he could really actually do anything would be if he did do the holograph like a whole holograph concert yeah for each for yes so someone said Blink82 is taking the deposit money again

Speaker 2 because you don't know, but that's actually how it all transpires. And Jeff would be able to elucidate on this a little bit, but yeah, you have deposit money.
You have to deposit.

Speaker 2 So let's say that you're hiring Blink 182, Pearl Jam, whoever, you know, some name some big band, Green Day, you know, some big legacy act.

Speaker 2 Let's say you're hiring them and their fee is $2 million for an hour and a half festival appearance.

Speaker 2 They're probably going to say to you, depending on the negotiations, they're probably going to say to you, we need 50%

Speaker 2 at least 30 days before the event, and then we need 50% when we walk on stage. And by the time we get off stage, that better be in our account or there's going to be problems.

Speaker 2 And that's the manager's job of the band is to make sure that they run around cracking heads if people aren't getting paid. And bands have, and they probably will in the future.

Speaker 2 You know, I would imagine, and this is just from stories that I've heard with much smaller festivals.

Speaker 2 There have been occurrences where a band is late to go on stage because the money hasn't hit their account account yet. Yeah.
Yeah. Certainly happened.
Because that's the only thing they got.

Speaker 2 The only thing they got is to withhold the presentation. And if someone wants them to play, I remember when we put on Jamland Productions.

Speaker 2 It all goes back to Jamland. Jamland Mountain Blues Fest.

Speaker 2 Oh, the Mountain Blues Fest. The Mountain Blues Fest.
Jamland Productions presents the Mountain Day, the North Georgia Mountain Blues. It's so fun.
We didn't know each other.

Speaker 2 I know. It was really.

Speaker 2 I would have been right there with you. Of course you would have.
You would have been like assistant associate producer running around

Speaker 2 bringing me beer and

Speaker 2 helping everybody get high or something. I don't know.

Speaker 2 But we showed up to this land up in the mountains, this beautiful cleared pasture.

Speaker 2 This guy owned a bunch of land. He had multiple like cleared pastures up in the mountains.
And we said, okay, this is going to be the camping. This is where we're going to put the food.

Speaker 2 and the food by the way was one papa johns

Speaker 2 who was taking a golf cart you had to take a golf cart up the mountain because it was hard to get cars up there so they were taking golf carts up and down the mountain bringing pizzas and selling them by the slice and we had well at least it was papa john's pizza and not baloney sandwiches it was you're right yeah the fair enough

Speaker 2 People got fed and there was we had kegs of beer up there and all the other stuff, but we like went and bought them at the liquor store. It wasn't like we had a liquor purveyor sponsoring us.

Speaker 2 We had zero sponsors, but we had little vendors and stuff, you know, selling trinkets and shit like that. They sold zero trinkets, but okay, whatever.

Speaker 2 We had like a thousand people that showed up to this festival. Who doesn't love a good blues festival? That's right.
Well, in the mountain, mountain blues.

Speaker 2 Yeah, plus we just have some friends where you say party and they all show up, right? And I'm sure we were charging like $15

Speaker 2 to some people, right? It's the most, we had like undercover cops show up. Oh, really? Yes, we did from the county that we were in.

Speaker 2 I'm not going to get into it, all the details, but we had security down at the bottom of the hill looking for, you know, for tickets and making sure that people didn't bring glass up there and stuff like that.

Speaker 2 You know, they were like loosely checking for shit. And we had hired them.
They were like our friends. You know,

Speaker 2 you look mean. Go down there.
And, you know,

Speaker 2 and so anyway. Some sort of muscle.

Speaker 2 The muscle knew some of the sheriff's officers.

Speaker 2 from town and a couple of them tried to get in the festival plain clothes and the guys were like radioing up to us like i got a couple cops here trying to get in what do you you want me to do?

Speaker 2 And I was like, don't let him in. And they didn't let him in.
And the cops had to get turned away because he just refused to let them in. And it was like, private land, what are you going to do?

Speaker 2 Anyway, the point is, is that we

Speaker 2 had secured like some okay, I think

Speaker 2 Tinsley Ellis, if I'm not sure, was there. Donna Hopkins band.
Like there was some locally regional acts that you would, if you were familiar with, John Popper. Yeah, John, skinny, fat John Popper.

Speaker 2 you know some locals asked that uh oh we had um

Speaker 2 moonshine uh moonshine still

Speaker 2 yeah uh no no no moon taxi no moon taxi here

Speaker 2 moonshine moonshine taxi that's right

Speaker 2 moonshine taxi

Speaker 2 But so, like, we're up there two days ahead of time because the stage, we literally had to like take spiders off the stage. Like, it was just this old stage.
Oh, and it was already there.

Speaker 2 It was already there. It had been set up by the guy for whatever reason.
I'm not sure, but it's been there for years and years and years. And then we rented this equipment and they put anyway.

Speaker 2 The guy, my partner, Pete, in the whole thing, he calls me and I'm up there and he says, listen, I have an opportunity to get perpetual groove up there. A P-groove.
A P-Groove.

Speaker 2 And for a late-night set, closing out Saturday night, midnight to like 3 a.m.

Speaker 2 Everybody, eat your drugs. Everybody eat your drugs, including P-Groove.
Groove. We're all going to eat our drugs and do this together.
Right.

Speaker 2 And they were just like, they were well-known, but like a regional act at the time. And so I was a little unconvinced because Pete says, we got to get together $5,000

Speaker 2 because I have $5,000. They want $10,000.
I have $5,000. They have $5,000.

Speaker 2 And I don't know that these numbers, like the exact numbers, but basically we had half and then we had to put in the other half.

Speaker 2 He says, so are you willing to forego $5,000 in profit on the festival, which we weren't going to make anyway,

Speaker 2 but are you willing to forego in order to make it? And I said, yes. And he ran around like a chicken with his head cut off, trying to get formed.

Speaker 2 Because back then, it wasn't like, you know, get on your phone and just like sell somebody $5,000. It was this whole ordeal.
And I remember that Pegroove got there.

Speaker 2 They had played an early set somewhere else at like seven o'clock and they got there right at midnight. And we were all trying to set them up.
And they still hadn't been paid.

Speaker 2 And the guy from P Groove looked at me and he said, we're going to go because we're late. We're going to get on stage.

Speaker 2 But by the end of this, our manager's got to have that check, like, got to have that check in hand, or there's going to be problems. And luckily, we managed to pull it off.

Speaker 2 I don't know if the check cleared, but we managed to give them a check. We wrote him one.
Yeah, we bounced a check to Peagroup.

Speaker 2 But man, they played a set. They played a set.
It was incredible. And then we all got on a golf cart after, like, me and the singer.
And we got on a golf cart.

Speaker 2 We put the keg, like a pony keg on the back, and we rode around and we gave people beers and other

Speaker 2 stuff.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that was the same festival where the guy cut his foot because somebody brought glass, cut his foot.

Speaker 2 He's like profusely bleeding, but he had a pocket full of Percocets, so he was just like kept chewing them. And I was like, dude, you're going to die.
Don't stop that.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you're like on number five. I think it's good.
Let's take you to the hospital. Eventually, we got an ambulance up there and took him to the hospital.
He was badly bleeding.

Speaker 2 The adventures of Jamland Productions. Ah, Jamland Productions.
Really, the golden age for Peak Bryan Bryan is Jamland Productions, if I'm being honest.

Speaker 2 If I'm being self-aware, Peak Bryan is Jamland Productions. Probably that night is Peak Bryan.

Speaker 2 Me pulling off, bouncing a check to Pee Groove.

Speaker 2 Hoodwinking Pee Groove into playing my 3 a.m. set at the North Georgia Mountain Blues Fest.

Speaker 2 that went on to do no follow-up concerts. First annual.
Well, we did Mountain Jam, then we did Aqua Blues Fest, and then we did some other stuff. But, you know, it was hard.

Speaker 2 You can't make a living doing that. It's so hard.
Yeah, I know. Even Jeff knows that.
Even if you're well-resourced and all the best intentions. It's a lot of work.
It's a lot of work.

Speaker 2 Yeah, to get you to year number two

Speaker 2 takes a lot.

Speaker 2 What's Memphos on year number six? No, I think this is eight. Oh, this is eight.

Speaker 2 We've been doing this for eight years.

Speaker 2 I think it was 2017 was the first. So, yeah.
Okay. All right.

Speaker 2 I remember Jeff talking about it that when we went out to dinner and he was just excited because he had gotten the green light to go spend some money to do this. Yeah.
He was all excited.

Speaker 2 I was like, well, whatever you need, bro.

Speaker 2 I had Jamland Productions. So if you need me to be there, let me know.
I, however, was waiting patiently by the phone and I still am. So

Speaker 2 tells you everything you need to know about Jeff's faith in Jamland Productions.

Speaker 2 I remember he's outside and we were like smoking a cigarette or something.

Speaker 2 And he's like, yeah, bro. Yeah.
Yeah. I got you.
Yeah. Uh-huh.
Mm-hmm. Yep.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 Well, it was worth a shot. Oh, you're welcome anytime.
Well, thank you. But will I get paid? That's a question.
No, okay.

Speaker 2 I got kids. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Tickets I know that I got. But even that's hard.
I mean, even that's hard. You know, it's so hard to get away an entire weekend.
Of course. Maybe this year I'll ask Astrid, like, can I please go?

Speaker 2 Please.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I mean, she might let me. You never know.
She's a sweet lady. She's so amazing.
If I really said, hey, babe, I really want to go to this, we would figure out a way to make it happen.

Speaker 2 But I always, there's so much Catholic guilt in me. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night.
I'd be like, ah, the fucking kids and the fucking dog and the fucking bills I got to pay. Blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 2 All right. Let's take a break.
When we get back, I have a Carl Lentz update. Carl has posted an apology video online.
It's about an hour long.

Speaker 2 We probably won't get to all of it, but I thought, let's get it started. Let's see what it's all about and see what Carl's up to.
You remember Carl? Hey, hey, girl.

Speaker 2 Hey, girl. Justin Bieber's best friend for a while.
Yeah, Justin Bieber's preacher for a while. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Hillsong dude of the year.

Speaker 2 The hillsong dude of the year. Victory V.
Victory V. How to preach on a full dick.
All right. Got to go, girl.

Speaker 2 All right. We'll get into Carl when we get back.

Speaker 5 Let me do something Brian has never done.

Speaker 2 Be brief.

Speaker 5 Follow us on Instagram at thecommercial break. Text or call us, 212-433-3TCB.
That's 212-433-3822. Visit our website, tcbpodcast.com, for all the audio, video, and your free sticker.

Speaker 5 Then watch all the videos at youtube.com slash thecommercial break. And finally, share the show.
It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian?

Speaker 2 That really wasn't that difficult now, was it?

Speaker 5 You're welcome.

Speaker 1 This This episode is sponsored by our longtime sponsor, Squarespace. I am working on a new project, Information TBD.
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Speaker 1 This episode is sponsored in part by Rula. You know, there was a time when I really needed therapy, but I could not find a therapist who took my insurance.

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Speaker 1 You deserve mental health care that works with you, not against your budget.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 2 All right, I got my beebs hat on. Youtube.com slash the commercial break.
That's right, girl. Hey, girl.
All right,

Speaker 2 I get my phone here just in case I got to call somebody. I'll pick up the phone.

Speaker 2 Call see you.

Speaker 2 Hey girl. That's a little loud.
Hey girl. That's better.

Speaker 2 I'm here to make an apology, girl, because I'm sorry I jizzed all over your mom's front door. But

Speaker 2 I did leave her a couple dollars just in case. Christian, what you up to over there?

Speaker 2 Oh, just hanging out. Here it comes.
I really missed you. Listen.
I've been talking to the Lord. I've been walking with the Lord this morning, and he said, you know what you need?

Speaker 2 A new new picture of tits.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 I got a call from the Lord and I got it. I answered it and he said, holy.

Speaker 2 And I said, all right, I'll give her a call. But this isn't me.
You know, you understand, I'm just a vessel for the Lord. And I have a vessel.

Speaker 2 But just like a plane can't land with a full tank of gas, I can't preach with a full vessel. So I got to release that vessel.
But I don't want to make things messy for you and your husband.

Speaker 2 So just send that picture over. I'll release my vessel.

Speaker 2 And then we get on to preaching. All right, well, I got a new haircut, and I'm going to say I'm sorry here.
I got to let you go. I've got to do this video.
Got to talk to you.

Speaker 2 Yeah, my wife wants me to make a video telling people I'm really sorry about all that stuff I did. And in order to, and, you know, we got kids.
So she said, you better get on it, Carl.

Speaker 2 It only took me three years, but here I am. Better late than never said God or Jesus or one of them in that Bible.
Okay. All right.
I got to go. I got to call Beebs.

Speaker 2 Here's Carl in his basement, seems like. Very, very nice house.
I like Carl. Got a beautiful house.

Speaker 2 And he's got a single microphone. He's staring into the camera.
And this is the beginning. We'll do some of his apology video.
I don't know how much of this dribble I can get. This just came out.

Speaker 2 About three months ago. Oh, really? Yeah, but you heard it over here last.

Speaker 2 But I noticed that Carl has been on a lot of podcasts lately.

Speaker 2 You've done the tour. Yeah, he's been doing the tour.
And I also know, and a lot of them are religion

Speaker 2 and he's kind of doing the apology thing. And, you know, here's the things I did wrong, and here's the things I learned.

Speaker 2 But one of the things I did know about Carl is that back then, when he was hanging out with Beebs and all those people, he did Impulsive, the Logan Paul podcast. Wow.

Speaker 2 You know, and that's one of the bigger YouTube channels in the world. And he was on that.
It's like seven years ago, but he was on it. He was kind of a force to be recorded with.
Yeah, he was.

Speaker 2 He was high. And he had a force to be recorded with.
Oh, yeah. High up.

Speaker 2 He was high. All right.
All right. Let's hear what Carl is.
Let's give him a shot, Chrissy. Okay.
Maybe he's a changed man.

Speaker 4 In case you're just clicking on this and you don't have any idea about

Speaker 2 already with the music and multiple camera angles. Yeah.
Really? Okay. All right.
He's going to keep it interesting. He knows how to produce a video.
He does.

Speaker 4 My wife, Laura, the Lentz family.

Speaker 2 We have been out of the public life and sphere. Third woman in my thrupple,

Speaker 2 my maid, for a couple of years now.

Speaker 4 Actually, it's moving on about four years.

Speaker 2 And we went through some things because that's an important thing to get across. It's been four years since you've seen me, and now it's time for me to reclaim my throne.

Speaker 4 This has a family that some people know about, other people know about it.

Speaker 2 Trump's in office, and I figure now's a better time to scam people than ever. So here I am.

Speaker 4 Don't. But we're going to use everything we've been through to hopefully bring some new life and some new hope to people.

Speaker 4 And what you're going to see on these first couple episodes, especially this first one, you're going to see a couple that is healed and healing. And it hadn't been the case always for us.

Speaker 4 We haven't been at a place where we've been able to talk about our own life and our own pain. And we are now.

Speaker 2 So when you see us going through this story, so good gravy, get on with it. Let's talk about the sucking and the fucking, Carl.

Speaker 2 What are these episodes he's doing? I guess he's doing a series of these, like a podcast, vodcast kind of thing.

Speaker 2 You know, Astrid says they sound like an old man when they say vodcast, a video, a podcast that's on video on YouTube.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you know,

Speaker 2 still seems full of shit.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it still seems full of shit. And, you know, I think this was always the plan.
Get out of the public eye for a while and then use the redemption story to make more. More fucking money.

Speaker 4 Yep.

Speaker 4 We're looking to the future. Cannot wait to talk about other things, but it's irresponsible for us not to talk about what happened because it was so public.

Speaker 4 And I think it's fair to be able to open it up. and allow people to take from it what they can.
So in this first episode, we're going to answer some questions.

Speaker 2 i had a two a couple of them

Speaker 2 and i think it would be irresponsible of me to let all those women go uh

Speaker 2 without uh without take making this video first listen i'm not saying i'm a change what you're seeing here is a man who's healed and a man who's healing from his deep penile wounds and uh i don't take pictures of me i'm out of the public light

Speaker 2 i had to take a picture all right all right one picture One picture. I'll sign it.
The deeper hat is great. Yeah.
All the girls, you got to take a picture of me. I stand in the back.

Speaker 2 I'll autograph it with my

Speaker 2 hard sword of the Lord.

Speaker 2 I'm back, baby. I'm back.
I love it. I love the good gravy that comes from fame and fortune and money.

Speaker 2 Pennies from heaven, baby. Pennies from heaven.
I still got a beautiful house. I've been laughing all the way to the bank.
All right. And I got a new pair of glasses from

Speaker 2 Wabby Parker.

Speaker 2 This video is sponsored by Wabby Parker.

Speaker 2 He might have had some hair worked on him. Oh, yeah.
Yeah,

Speaker 2 I hooked up with Frank Bonado.

Speaker 2 I got Frankie's follicles. He had a hair transplant, his head to my head.
And I said, listen, you're too old, but let me carry the cross. No pun intended.
I got you. Give me your follicles.
All right.

Speaker 2 And look at my beard, salt and pepper. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. I'm a changed man.

Speaker 2 And I still go to the tanning bed, though. I got a nice tan.
I'll tell you what. Four years in the sun.

Speaker 2 It's been a lot of fun.

Speaker 2 We had a good time here at the Let's household. Good time.

Speaker 2 Kids are healthy and in therapy and

Speaker 2 homeschooled.

Speaker 2 They can't go out in public, but it's okay. I'm back, baby.
Here I am. I got a nice microphone.
You see that? It is nice. He's got gold chains on.
Oh, yeah. The gold chains.
Oh, wait.

Speaker 2 Does this one necklace have an L?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I do. Oh, let me.
I know, yeah. Probably, because he's that kind of guy.

Speaker 4 We'll have. Like, why has it taken us so long to talk?

Speaker 2 Why is Laura still married to me?

Speaker 4 Who's at fault?

Speaker 4 We handle some of the real hard questions. And

Speaker 2 why is Bieber acting crazy?

Speaker 2 We're still in touch, Mia Beeves. I say, hey, Beeves, come on over.
We'll smoke a blunt.

Speaker 2 We'll get on pornhub. My little b-ball.
We'll play a little basketball, a little b-ball. I'm in my timeout period, but trust me, when I come back, you're going to love it, Beeves.

Speaker 2 We'll be back together before too long. Paparazzi just waiting outside for us.
All right. I got to go.

Speaker 4 Hope with this whole thing is that you can look at what's happened in our life, and maybe you can recognize a little bit of your story in ours, and together we can all grow.

Speaker 4 So the future of the podcast is going to be me bringing on people that I love, that have changed my life, that have helped me heal, that are helping me heal.

Speaker 2 And that's the future. But the right including four-time AVN winner Fair Abraham.

Speaker 2 Fair Abraham is my first guest.

Speaker 2 We both had a timeout, but now we're back

Speaker 2 preaching to the Lord. Preaching the good word, Chrissy.
The good word of sucking and fucking. I love it.
It's a timeout tradition, us preachers. Yeah.

Speaker 4 This is our story. So for those of you that are brand new to this, we used to be in ministry.
I made some mistakes that cost us a lot.

Speaker 2 Everything. And we talk about it all.
Not everything.

Speaker 2 Not everything.

Speaker 2 When I got caught, I gave my wife an ultimatum. I said, open marriage or I'm leaving.
And all that money is in my chest hair. That's what they want.
That's what the ladies want.

Speaker 4 And now we're here. We're in this space.
And I'm really excited about it. So thank you.

Speaker 2 Which is a 5,000 square foot beautiful home overlooking Napa Valley. So I want to thank you all very much.

Speaker 2 Yeah, the good years were good, and I'm a good saver

Speaker 4 for checking it out.

Speaker 4 Episode one. Hope you enjoy it.

Speaker 2 B-side.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Download the app for additional content. Oh, Lord.
Listen, I'm not arguing the guy's right to make money. And maybe this is a redemption story.
Maybe he is learning some things from this.

Speaker 2 So I just want to be clear. You don't have to

Speaker 2 do anything on the redemption. Yeah, but this is an improv comedy podcast.
And as far as I'm I'm concerned, it was all bullshit in the first place. And he's got, this is like Firefest 2.

Speaker 2 You know what I'm saying? Uh-huh. All right.
Lights on. Lights on.
Lights on. With the car.

Speaker 4 So

Speaker 4 when you go through something like we've gone through

Speaker 4 a crisis or something that's really hard, you either.

Speaker 2 Oh, his wife is on the podcast. Is that her? Yes, that's her.
Oh. Okay, he's got his leather jacket on.
He's got his leather jacket on.

Speaker 2 It does say L on that.

Speaker 2 I despise you.

Speaker 2 I thought his wife was blonde. Break down and...
No, I think that was a girl you were sleeping with. Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 Two different people. Or maybe this is the girl you're sleeping with.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I don't know. Who knows?

Speaker 4 And let it define you for the rest of your life.

Speaker 2 Or...

Speaker 4 You get up and you fight and you try to break through and remind yourself that we're all right in our story and nobody else can control the true, real narrative of your life.

Speaker 4 And we have had a journey of making sure we don't lay down, die.

Speaker 2 I mean, am I right or am I right, babe? We've had a journey. We're writing our own story.
All that sneak bullshit. All right, girl? Come on, girl.
You knew it.

Speaker 4 And let a hard chapter define us.

Speaker 2 And by hard chapter, I mean my dick.

Speaker 4 So it's a real pleasure and a real honor to be sitting here, A little bit surreal for me. My hope for this is that we can at least show people that there is another side to a tragic story.

Speaker 2 Because

Speaker 4 as it stood before, we've done this.

Speaker 2 I told you. She looks like she was.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I don't know. This is not tragic.
This is you

Speaker 2 cheating. She finding a girl in a park.

Speaker 2 Yes. And sending her nude photographs and asking her to do the same and then sleeping with her and then repeated multiple affairs and then apparently other shenanigans that went on in the church.

Speaker 2 This is not tragic. This is, it's only tragic if it happens to you.
She is part of the tragedy. You are the reason for the tragedy.
Yes. Yes.
It's not tragedy. Haven't spoken.
We haven't talked.

Speaker 4 We participated in a documentary, which we'll talk about. But I think for us, you know, most of the people know one side of the story, which is, yes, it is true.

Speaker 2 I

Speaker 4 got fired from my job. I broke my marriage vows.
I broke the trust of a lot of people. I had an amazing position as a pastor and a leader, and I fell on my face.
Blew it.

Speaker 2 That is true.

Speaker 4 That's part of the story. And

Speaker 2 we're here today, still alive, still married.

Speaker 2 Still have the ability to get a real hard dick.

Speaker 2 It's the kind of victory V. Yeah.
Thanks to Y Brian 3000. This episode is sponsored by Warby Parker of Y Brian 3000.
Why Brian 3000?

Speaker 2 When you're in a hard position,

Speaker 2 use Y Brian 3000.

Speaker 2 when you despise your wife and she despises you why brian 3000 overrides that overwhelming urge to stay limp

Speaker 4 21 years shout out to you our family's stronger than ever and shout out to my wife

Speaker 2 shout out to you

Speaker 2 which is what i was doing when i was screwing that 19 year old lovely

Speaker 2 i said praise jesus Praise my wife.

Speaker 4 And we have more joy and more peace than probably we've ever no Carl.

Speaker 2 You have more joy.

Speaker 2 Okay? Let's just be clear about that. This is your dumb idea.
Rhett.

Speaker 4 And that's part of the story.

Speaker 2 So I hope when people maybe do talk about something that we

Speaker 2 go cheat. You'll find more joy and happiness than you've ever found.
Listen. On the other side.
Everybody loves a redemption story. Am I right? Or am I right? Don't you love a redemption story, honey?

Speaker 2 Of course. Let me put a lot of words in your mouth before you start talking.
That's what's going on here. Well, totally.
Yes. Yeah, she's just sitting there.

Speaker 2 She's just sitting there looking nervous and like she wants to crawl out of her skin, angry with him, about to cry, and he's just putting words in her mouth because he's telling her the narrative he wants her to follow.

Speaker 2 And if I were in the same position, like true contriteness,

Speaker 2 true contrition comes from the ability to let other people tell you just how hurt they have been by your actions without narrative.

Speaker 2 And that is the hardest kind of apology to make, is where you have to sit there and listen to just how terrible it was to bounce a check to P Grew when they really needed that $5,000. And I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 Or when you promise people you're going to have a funny comedy podcast, but you keep showing up every day in their inbox with this dribble. I'm sorry.
I really am. I'm sorry.
That's not a narrative.

Speaker 2 That's just me. Oh, my God.
Apologize.

Speaker 4 Both parts are true. We don't need to do this podcast.

Speaker 2 the world definitely doesn't need another podcast just to have one but i feel what is going on in the background can we just look at this for a second yeah there's a neon light well i don't know what that's why i'm kind of confused because he's got two camera angles and so when the camera is at one angle you can see this book he looks like he's in like a lawyer's office with this lot like law books in the back and this is my sex dungeon and

Speaker 2 like with a piece that doing the piece symbol no no no no no chrissy that's uh

Speaker 2 that's a heavenly penis jizzing. It's a jizzing accent.
I don't know if you get that. So I told my wife, I said, if we're going to do this podcast, let's do it in our red room downstairs.

Speaker 2 In our dungeon. No, not sex dungeon.
I appreciate it. But then from this angle, now you see some kind of a neon light

Speaker 2 in the back and a lion, maybe statue. Yeah, well, the first part of this, I think, was like preemptive, and he was in a different location.
I know, I know that. I don't know.

Speaker 2 I don't know what's going on here. Yeah, but it certainly does

Speaker 2 super like 4k 8k like lighting has been obviously done up correctly yeah carl can you help us yeah seriously yeah

Speaker 4 to share what's happened in our journey because we we have led a lot of people in our lives and up until this point i think there's people who are interested to see what what we're what I'm going to do with this, what you're going to do with this, what happened to our marriage, what happened to our lives.

Speaker 4 And so we're going to use every bit of this to give people people hope.

Speaker 2 I think people see people fall and fail, and they kind of like that.

Speaker 2 But it's like, I think there's also this other side of redemption and this other side of like, no, but you can get up again and you can make up again. You can make money from it.
And I think

Speaker 2 I think you can get up again. And I think you can replenish your bank account by telling people you are still godly and have them show up every time.
What were they going to do each on their own?

Speaker 2 Well, I was going to do OnlyFans and Carl was going to go on tour with bieber yeah only fans that's right

Speaker 2 carl was going to sleep with mailey bieber

Speaker 2 for us our story has been that you know it was kind of

Speaker 2 it was out there for a lot of people to see and which was really hard but i think this side they also can see is the the healing and the what can happen when you work hard at a relationship.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and I think people don't sometimes understand that talking about about this stuff, it is hard. It is triggering.

Speaker 2 I don't know. Why is he sitting on his stool and he's so quick to interrupt her? This sounds like an episode of the commercial, bro.
A TCB infomercial with Kathleen Madigan.

Speaker 2 I mean, if we're all healing and apologizing, let's do it now. I'm sorry to Kathleen Madigan for apparently interrupting you too much.
Kathleen didn't say that. I didn't think I did either.

Speaker 2 But everybody on YouTube agrees, Brian's an asshole. So let me start my apology right here.
Yeah. Get up on a stool.
That's right.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 2 I know we're only like one minute into this, but we're going to have to take a break. We might have to get back to this next week.
But all right, let's take a break.

Speaker 2 And when we get back, we'll try and plow through a little bit more of this dribble. We'll be back.

Speaker 5 Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on TCB. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue.
Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears.

Speaker 5 And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the contact us page.

Speaker 5 You can also find the entire commercial break library, audio and video, just in case you want to look at Chrissy, at tcbpodcast.com. Want your voice to be on an episode of the show?

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Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us.
That'd be fine too.

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Just send a text. We'll respond.

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Speaker 2 All right, back here with Carl Lentz on his apology tour, episode number one of his apology podcast, apparently.

Speaker 2 Apology podcast. It's called turn the light on or down or something.
I'm not sure. We'll get back to it.
Here we go.

Speaker 4 We have put to rest a lot of things, but bringing this up, it's another credit to you for being brave enough to talk about this. Because for me, a lot of it is humiliating.

Speaker 4 A lot of it is embarrassing. A lot of it is, you just want to look at it and shake your head.
But we're choosing to go.

Speaker 4 The least I can do is put our story out there and say, hey, if this helps you avoid the pain and the tears, so thank you for even

Speaker 2 the least I could do is get a book deal with Simon Schuster and put some more money in our bank account. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2 I'd like to announce Carl Coin, sponsored by YBrian3000. Carl Coin now available on all major crypto.

Speaker 2 Also known as Cockcoin.

Speaker 2 Cocks for Christ coin.

Speaker 2 Swords for the Lord. The sword for the Lord.
The hard sword of the Lord is my new church.

Speaker 2 We're going to be female focused. I want to give back to the ladies.
I know I've done you wrong. So

Speaker 2 I'll be teaching pole dancing on Sunday.

Speaker 2 Mud wrestling on Monday nights for the kids. It's going to be fun.
We're going to have fun at this church. Female focused.

Speaker 2 Female focused.

Speaker 2 Female focused. I'm sorry, focused.
I meant focused. I'm sorry.
Okay, honey, back to you. What did you have to say? You were talking? I'm sorry.
Agreeing to do this.

Speaker 4 You know, it's a big deal. I know it's been emotional for both of us.
And

Speaker 4 I know it's going to be worth it. So that's what we're going to do

Speaker 4 on this podcast, especially early on. We're going to talk about our story.

Speaker 2 Okay, get to it. I know.
We've been talking about what we're going to talk about. Let's talk about it.

Speaker 4 Because everybody else has. And I think

Speaker 4 it feels good. It feels natural to be able to speak to it.

Speaker 2 And then we're going to. Yeah, that looks totally natural.
It feels good. I feel great.
I'm feeling good. I'm feeling great.
What about you, honey? You're feeling great.

Speaker 2 Keep her mic muted, please. You're feeling great? Yes, nod your head.
If you need help, blink twice.

Speaker 2 You're feeling great. I'm feeling great.
Everybody loves this. This is wonderful.
This is high energy stuff. High energy.

Speaker 4 Do different things. But as it stands right now, we're going to try to answer as many

Speaker 4 questions that we've been told by people we love. We asked around.
So, what do you think would help people the most? What are the questions that people are asking? And some of them are like, ah,

Speaker 2 for you to move to Thailand.

Speaker 2 Never to be heard from again.

Speaker 4 And so we're going to do that. We're just going to go question for question and see where we go.

Speaker 2 But with the hopes that people will be able to look into that. Are you going to take questions? Why didn't you let us know ahead of time? Yeah, I have questions.
I got lots of questions.

Speaker 2 Like, how much does that Rolex cost on your list? Yeah.

Speaker 4 This thing and go, I can glean from that. I won't do that.

Speaker 4 And that's our story as we know it. So

Speaker 4 whatever you want to say, whatever you want to ask, shoot for the stars.

Speaker 2 Yeah. So I get a lot of women and men on my DMs or, you know, reaching out to me who have gone through similar situations.

Speaker 2 And so that's why I wanted to do this because it's hard to answer a lot of things in that setting, but to be able to share our story and help people in that setting. Hmm.

Speaker 2 I hear you, girl. Excuse me for a second.

Speaker 2 I'm going to rub myself if you don't mind. You're looking sexy today, girl.

Speaker 2 That may be struggling or don't know what to do in whatever sexuality. It's going to find themselves, I think.
What's that? It's got a neon cross in the back.

Speaker 2 The Motley Crew. Neon Cross.
Yeah. The cross you don't find often at churches.

Speaker 2 I'm hoping that this is going to help them with, you know, whatever they're going through.

Speaker 4 There's no way it can't. No.
Have you found, I think this is interesting. There's no way it can't.

Speaker 2 There's no way it can.

Speaker 2 I'm too important yeah i'm too important i think too much of myself what a marriage breakdown and a church breakdown looks like from a different side and i think i did i i would have would never have known what i feel like i know now about it how lonely it is how hard it is how and we've seen people reach out that have just been through so much stuff and they've just been out there floating around yeah and i didn't realize that was like a real thing oh yeah it can be worse than ours was just public oh oh oh it can be worse it can be worse than cheating in a marriage that happens to 50% of marriages.

Speaker 2 This is just, you guys are pretending like you're the ground zero for all things terrible that happened. You brought this on yourself, Carl.

Speaker 4 We had amazing, we had amazing friends that stepped up and helped us, but that's not the case for a lot of people.

Speaker 4 We had some support systems with our family. That's not the case with a lot of people.
And you just don't know, you don't know what to do. And so I look forward to that changing.

Speaker 4 We can be a part of that.

Speaker 4 And people are in marriage situations where you feel lonely and you feel like you can't get through it. We are evidence, absolute evidence that you can, you know, and that there's hope after a life.

Speaker 2 There's still time, actually, for it to fall apart. Yeah, don't worry, Carl.
You'll fuck it up sooner or later. I'm sure of it, first of all.

Speaker 2 Second of all, I mean, he's falling short of saying, call me if you have a problem. I can only imagine.
I can only imagine what it must be like.

Speaker 2 to have a family to like cheat on your spouse and then so publicly have a blow up and then have to show up at Thanksgiving dinner with your spouse's family.

Speaker 2 It's got to be the most uncomfortable thing in the world.

Speaker 2 But you got to do it. You know you got to do it if you want to stay with your loved one.
You got to do it. You're going to have money in the future.
That's right.

Speaker 2 And you said before, like, we're going to tell our story and then we'll move on. I don't know that we'll ever move on from it.
It's kind of, it's a part of our life. And so probably through this.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I bet he wants to move on. I don't know that I'll ever let you forget it, but yeah, he wants to move on.
That's right.

Speaker 2 It is going to come up in different ways. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So, yeah, I wanted to ask you some questions. Yes, ma'am.
That

Speaker 2 I think people want to know, especially because, you know, I was telling you about this, but

Speaker 2 you kind of, three years ago, stuff happened. You,

Speaker 2 you know, apologized publicly.

Speaker 2 And like an Instagram post. Yeah, he did.
Yeah, it was like an Instagram post. Like, hey, yeah, I've been fucking the hot maid.

Speaker 2 Hey, listen. Yeah, I've been fucking the hot maid.
But all things considered, I have been doing a lot of preaching too. So I figured what?

Speaker 2 It's like a scale. It's bad and there's good.
I show up to church every Sunday. I wipe my sins clean and then I wipe my dick on somebody's curtains.
Okay. All right.
What's worse?

Speaker 2 Honestly, let's be real. Who's not jizzing on the curtains?

Speaker 2 Weird.

Speaker 2 And so I think a lot of people are like, what's happened? Like, what's, you know, they probably have a lot of things that they think about you and things that they've seen in the media,

Speaker 2 things that people have talked about that we haven't answered.

Speaker 2 I mean, like everybody's just been on bated breath waiting to see what they have been doing for three years. I've been in a constant state.

Speaker 2 of depressive solitude since Carl's Instagram post, waiting for Carl to answer my questions about what happened.

Speaker 2 Though it seems pretty clear what happened.

Speaker 2 It was a hot chick at the park and you fucked her and you got caught. Yes.
She decided to tell the world you fucked her. Maybe you talking about if I ask you the questions and then you

Speaker 2 perfect. Yeah, perfect.
Great. Oh, go do it.
I'm embarrassed, but go ahead. Yeah.
I want to crawl inside a hole and die, but sure, no problem. I'm here.
Could be fun. Yeah, perfect.
Could be fun.

Speaker 2 It could be fun for her because she's like, I'm just, I just want to throw you against a wall. Here's a roast I would like to give you.
Yes, this is the roast. It's coming.
Yes.

Speaker 2 Okay, let's go through it.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 why, firstly, why do you think we waited so long? Or why did you wait so long to talk? What? We waited so long. That's not a great question.
No. What happened? Right.
How did you meet her?

Speaker 2 What did she look like?

Speaker 2 What birthmarks did she have? Was she

Speaker 2 better in bed? Yes. All the things.
You had a full-blown relationship whether or not. He did.
He was like dropping stacks of money off at her mom's house or something.

Speaker 2 well he didn't even tell her he was married at first that's right he and he was sending like weird photographs from the car and i'm on my way to this

Speaker 2 to meet the lord and here's my dick and

Speaker 4 belong to talk because we had

Speaker 4 a bigger priority which was to save our family yes more accurately for me to save my own life and then work to try to save our marriage and then work to try to save our family.

Speaker 4 And very difficult because my instinct is to go to war immediately.

Speaker 2 Save my own? My instinct is to wait. Is that the order? Yeah, is that the order in which things needed to be taken care of? First and foremost, I needed.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 First and foremost, finish myself off so I didn't get blue balls.

Speaker 2 Second of all, take lots of pictures so I had material. to not have blue balls in the future.
Third, take all the money I could from the church.

Speaker 2 Fourth, call call you and tell you there may or may not be a TMZ article coming out. And could I pay you to stay around? And then number three, the kids are somewhere in there.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 They're 12 or something, 13. But click and subscribe.
Like and comment on your favorite videos.

Speaker 2 Go to our Patreon. Why does he have a QR code popped up there? Because there's a Patreon something.

Speaker 2 He's selling a book or some shit. Who knows?

Speaker 4 Defend myself.

Speaker 2 Get ad-free episodes here. So he has a Patreon.
Yeah. He's going to Love that.
And we're going to have ads? Yeah. Well, no, we aren't, but the people who watch this regularly will.

Speaker 4 Give context, give clarity. And the way all that went down,

Speaker 4 we had to make a choice right up front, which way are we going to handle this chapter? And for me and you, I think the best advice that we got was you cannot, for me, you cannot save face.

Speaker 4 and save your life at the same time. I remember hearing that going, well, that doesn't work for me because I want to salvage salvage my reputation.
I want to tell people what happened.

Speaker 4 I want to do that.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's all he cared about was his reputation. Yeah, that's it.
I want to salvage my reputation. You just

Speaker 2 hurt the woman. The thing about being famous is, I imagine, I don't know, but I imagine, is that everything is amplified.

Speaker 2 And the people in your life sometimes didn't choose that amplification. They didn't choose to make the speaker so loud.

Speaker 2 And so when you do something like this, when you fail the church, when you fail your marriage, when you're cheating on your spouse and your kids know about it, is that it's everywhere all the time.

Speaker 2 And all you care about is your reputation. How about caring about the feelings and protecting the people that you love or trying to?

Speaker 2 You know, they may not necessarily want your protection in that moment, but trying to shield them from some of this by coming out and immediately saying, This is what I did.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry. I did jizz on the curtains.

Speaker 2 I'm laughing.

Speaker 2 Your hat. It's a great thing.
It's hard to preach on a full dick. It's hard to preach with a beaver hat on.

Speaker 2 I was going to say, preach it, Bongo, Brian.

Speaker 2 Cartoon Mickey, what was his name? Cowboy Kidd. Cowboy Kidd.
There you go.

Speaker 4 And I need to get in a place with healing because I am in deep, deep trouble. And I really chose

Speaker 4 healing over reputation protection. It's very difficult.
It wasn't easy.

Speaker 2 Just all about the him, him, him, reputation. What did I look like? What was going on? Yeah, I think he's a a narcissist.
But I think you have to be a narcissist to believe

Speaker 2 you're the one that's talking to God and everybody else needs to talk through you. And I think that's a certain kind of sickness, if I'm being honest.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 The better it got. It didn't mean the voices ever went away or you could see things out of the corner of your eye or hear stories or see things being spun.

Speaker 4 But once you make that choice to go, I don't really care. At the end of the day, there's nothing to salvage here.
People are going to think what they're going to think.

Speaker 4 All I care about is trying to save what matters. All I care about is trying to save this family.

Speaker 2 Think what they're going to think. I mean, well, it was just kind of cut and dry.
Yeah, there's nothing else to say. There's nothing else to say.
I feel like somebody's opinion.

Speaker 2 You cheated. And listen, can I just be clear about this? You cheated on your wife.
You didn't murder anybody. This happens all the time.
All the time.

Speaker 2 I'm not trying to wash away the pain that it caused everybody else in your life, but I'm saying this isn't like the world's

Speaker 2 most surprising sin. You are in good company when it comes to preachers who have cheated on their wives or had sex affairs or whatever.
You're in good company.

Speaker 2 It's kind of like part and parcel, you know, milk and cookies, coffee and cream, preachers and extramarital affairs. It happens.

Speaker 4 I was in really, really, really deep, deep trouble. And I remember immediately thinking that this is going to be a different road

Speaker 4 the night that all that stuff went down or the day after at least, you know, we were.

Speaker 4 We were staying at a friend's house because we had sold our house and we were

Speaker 2 in New York.

Speaker 2 New Jesse.

Speaker 4 Yeah. And staying in a friend's house in Brooklyn.
And they graciously let us use their apartment. And when all this stuff went down, we were obviously just shell-shocked, reeling.

Speaker 2 Why were you shell-shocked? You knew the whole time.

Speaker 2 What? We were shell-shocked. Shell-shocked.
You knew the whole time. You were a part of it.
Your dick was there.

Speaker 2 Right. And they were staying at somebody's house.
They were staying at a friend's house. Staying at a friend's house.
That had been a really weird dinner conversation.

Speaker 2 So, Carl, I don't know if you've read any newspaper ever today, but it says here you were dicking down some girl you met at the doggy park. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You know, it makes me feel weird to even talk about it.

Speaker 4 But then I got a call from the person who lives there, and he said, basically, I want, you know, somebody that worked for him.

Speaker 4 He said, you guys have to leave because the owner of this place does not want to be associated with you.

Speaker 2 Oh, so it was like a friend's place.

Speaker 2 Oh, damn. Yeah, it was probably a church-related problem is my guess.
It was probably Bieber. Yeah, it's probably Biebs.
Yes,

Speaker 2 yeah, you might be right about that. Yeah.
Probably with some kind of celebrity. So, some kind of celebrity, somebody associated with the church, somebody, you know, high up, a politician, whatever.

Speaker 4 Like, where does he want us to go? He's like, doesn't care.

Speaker 2 He wants you out within a couple of hours.

Speaker 4 And we are, all of our stuff's here.

Speaker 2 Our kids are here.

Speaker 4 There's, you know, some photographers and reporters around taking photos and all this stuff is flying around. And our kids are like, What's going on?

Speaker 4 I remember we had to take everything we have in this apartment.

Speaker 2 Daddy didn't put it on the sheet, Daddy.

Speaker 2 What's a hard sword of the Lord?

Speaker 2 Daddy, who's that? Oh, that's

Speaker 2 Auntie

Speaker 2 Stardust.

Speaker 2 Daddy met her at a special club for heavenly adults late at night.

Speaker 4 In Brooklyn, and then we got a U-Haul and a U-Haul van, and just throwing stuff in there, and our kids still don't really know what's going on.

Speaker 4 And we're just, you know, I'm in like a weird comatose trance mode of just don't even know where I am.

Speaker 2 You're trying to survive.

Speaker 4 And me and Roman were in the U-Haul, and we just started driving. You were

Speaker 2 running around with a butcher knife. Oh, my God.
I would not have want to be in 50 yards of that woman that night for sure.

Speaker 2 And I do, I can kind of understand. We all

Speaker 2 the stress of being caught in the corner and like don't know what to do, don't know where to go.

Speaker 2 We've all been in, if you've lived enough life, you've been in some situation that you've probably gotten yourself into, that you don't know how you get yourself out of, that's very stressful.

Speaker 2 And that feeling of just like, what do I do now? What do I do now?

Speaker 4 As we started driving, I remember getting on the highway, pulling out of, you know, Williamsburg, Brooklyn. And I just remember thinking like, what, what are we doing?

Speaker 2 Where are we going to go?

Speaker 4 And Roman's next to me. He's my little guy still.
He's, dad, what are we doing? Why don't we have anywhere to go? And I couldn't get a hold of anybody at that point.

Speaker 2 Yeah, no one was taking your call. So I called Stardust and we stayed at her house for the next couple of weeks.
Yeah, no. What do you mean, where do we go? I mean, they had to have like

Speaker 2 a hotel. Exactly.
That's where you go. That's where people go when they need a place to stay, is a hotel, an Airbnb,

Speaker 2 something. Rent a home real quick.
I don't know. You know, you can rent a home overnight almost.

Speaker 4 Because a lot of people were kind of going to handle this however way they're going to handle it. And we finally found our friend, Kim Clark, who said, come and stay with us in Connecticut.

Speaker 4 And our first couple nights, we really felt like, man, the whole world has ended. You know, we have been

Speaker 2 COVID as well. It's COVID.

Speaker 4 So we

Speaker 4 have no idea which way is up right now.

Speaker 4 We're in trouble. And that was one of those nights I'll never forget.
I'll never forget sitting in that car.

Speaker 2 Oh, boy, with all of us. Yeah, I bet that was one of the most intense feelings.

Speaker 2 I do have empathy for, even if you got yourself into this situation,

Speaker 2 it never feels good.

Speaker 2 That kind of stress never feels good. And with children, every move that you make is also amplified.
And so I can't imagine being in a similar situation, any U-Haul van, driving around, nowhere to go.

Speaker 2 What do we do?

Speaker 2 Kids are too young to understand what's going on. So, but hey, at least you don't have blue balls.
Oh, exactly. At least you didn't preach on a full deck.

Speaker 2 That's right.

Speaker 4 Belongings and two U-Hauls going like, what, how did I get here?

Speaker 2 Like, is this real life?

Speaker 2 And that's why we're

Speaker 2 in the chat. And it's all of the midnight.
It just works on us.

Speaker 4 Shit. It's on our family.
For me, being a control guy,

Speaker 2 letting it go

Speaker 4 was not easy.

Speaker 2 Which part? The girl?

Speaker 2 Oh, I let it go. All right.
I was letting it go all over the place. I'll tell you what.
I let it go on Tuesday, then a Thursday morning, then by myself on Friday, and then in the church parking lot.

Speaker 2 I was just letting it go for a control guy. That was kind of hard, I'll tell you that one.

Speaker 2 All right, well, listen.

Speaker 2 We can't do Carl forever. I wish we could.

Speaker 2 We can get back to it, though, if we want to go more into it. Because now I'm kind of interested.
Me too. Now I'm like, okay, what did happen? Like, what is the minutiae of how this all went down?

Speaker 2 See, he's getting me. Now he's roping me into his silly story.

Speaker 2 God damn it. It's the good lighting and microphone.
Yes, it is the good lighting and microphone.

Speaker 2 You know, there's a reason why people liked him is because he's an engaging character, right? But most narcissists are engaging characters. And I do feel for her.

Speaker 2 This is not her fault. And so I have a lot of empathy for where she's at.
And I can only imagine what she was feeling at this time. Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 Like, he's talking about how he's feeling, but it's all about him. It is all about him.
But let's be honest, it was always all about him. And she knows that.

Speaker 2 She married him. She knows what's going on.
Well, and then Hillsong Church is no more either. The church that he

Speaker 2 well then didn't it turn out that there was other stuff going on with the original founders? All kinds of shit. Yeah, and they paid, you know, high-praised attorneys.

Speaker 2 It's just all shenanigans.

Speaker 2 It's like, you know, I'm not against religion. No, there's some really good churches around.
It's the ones that want to be famous and make up. It's the ones that become all-powerful

Speaker 2 that just really just start to destroy lives in so many different ways and Carl is a testament to that when you're a rock star preacher you know and you're playing fast and loose you got a bunch of

Speaker 2 yeah like you got a full dick you got to empty it

Speaker 2 oh all right well listen maybe we'll get back to Carl next week maybe we won't hope you have a good weekend and all that jazz TCBpodcast.com that's where you go to find out more information about Chrissy and I all the audio all the video right there from one location no must no fuss you can just go there and you know do the URL thing if that's what you're into.

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Speaker 2 212-433-3 TCB 212-433-3822 questions comments concerns contents ideas or leave us a voicemail if you want to be on the next episode okay Chrissy that's all I can do for today

Speaker 2 but I'll tell you that I love you

Speaker 2 I'll say best to you and best to you out there in the podcast universe until next time Chrissy and I will say we do say and we must say goodbye

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