TCB Infomercial: Michelle Wolf

This episode is sponsored by 5-Hour Energy. Caffeine just got a flavor upgrade with what they call tasty caffeine, 17 bold flavors that actually taste good.

You know that midday moment when your brain just stalls out, but you still have a full list of things to do? Well, that's when I reach for a 5-Hour Energy shot.

Each tiny two-ounce shot has about as much caffeine as a 12-ounce premium cup of coffee, but with zero sugar and zero crash.

It's big flavor, packed into the smallest, easiest bottle, perfect for tossing in your bag, in your car, really anywhere.

And since it's still fall, they've brought back the ultimate seasonal favorite, pumpkin spice. Ah, yes, pumpkin spice.

A little cinnamon, a little swagger, sweet, rich, and totally cozy without being heavy.

Fuel your day with tasty caffeine, available in store and online at 5Hourenergy.com or get it delivered by Amazon. Give yourself a caffeine flavor upgrade with 5-Hour Energy Shots.

Get yours in store and online, 5Hourenergy.com or on Amazon today.

This episode is sponsored by Jack Archer. As a man, finding a good pair of pants can feel impossible.
Jack Archer's Jet Setter Tech Pants make that easy. These are the one pair you need.

They're built with advanced fabric sourced from Japan that resists wrinkles, stains, and odors. Whether it's a long flight, a workday, or a night out, these pants do it all.

With customizable fit options and thousands of five-star reviews, trust us, these are the one pair of pants you'll actually want to wear every day.

And they just launched a matching blazer in the same unbelievable fabric, all for an amazing price of $249 for the suit. It's a no-brainer.

For a limited time, get 15% off using the code getjack at jackarcher.com. Again, that's the promo code getjack at jackarcher.com for that 15% off, your entire order.

And thanks to Jack Archer for being a sponsor of the commercial break.

On this episode of The Commercial Break.

You know, people that are like older, like in their like, you know,

have been working, yeah, 50s and 60s, have been working at the company like 20 and 30 years, and it was just, it was a very depressing time. I can assume that.

Not to mention, you know, society was also on the verge of bankruptcy collapse.

Yeah. And, you know,

but all the like, you know, the bigwigs, all the banks were like, but I mean, it was an accident. That costs some money back.

So sorry.

What happened? I thought we were in risk. We knew, but we didn't know.
Yeah.

I mean, they warned us, but we didn't know. I mean, there was that one guy that made a billion dollars betting on our failure, but we had no idea.

We planned, and we set ourselves up for success, but we didn't know.

Yeah.

The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now.

The 30th of the morning!

Oh, yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green.
I'm here by myself to introduce a TCB Infomercial Tuesday with a very funny special guest, Michelle Wolf.

Just to, you know,

let's call this an appertif

after your Thanksgiving holiday.

And as is the tradition here at the commercial break, after any Thanksgiving holiday, I have been in my bed for the last five days with some kind of terrible stomach virus, foodborne illness, monovirus, COVID slash flu slash, I don't know what the hell I have.

You know I get this every Thanksgiving, after every Thanksgiving, this happens to me.

Almost six years running. Five years running at least, maybe six, if we count the first year.
I've had Selmonella. I've had, let's see, Norovirus went around the house.
I had COVID one time.

Last year, everyone was throwing up. And it happened again this year.
Just happened again this year. I don't know.
Something about Thanksgiving rubs me the wrong way. I love it.

It's my favorite holiday. And then I end up five days in the bed.
Who knows? But anyway, Chrissy's not here. I'm keeping her out of the,

as I would call it, peach tree dish that is my house right now. So I'm doing this intro and outro to Michelle Wolf by myself.
Michelle re-recorded right before the holiday.

If you don't know Michelle Wolf, you should go ahead and give her a goo, as the kids would say, give her a goo,

because she's a very, very funny lady, very funny human. I'll put it that way.

She worked at Bear Stearns from 2007 to 2008 as Bear Stearns went directly out of business, the business that was too big to fail that failed.

She then went on to work for JP Morgan Chase before deciding there were better pursuits in life.

And she went on to improv comedy, then hired by, I mean, some other things happened, but then hired by The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, where people started to take note.

But it was the 2018 correspondence dinner at the White House that really set the world aflame about Michelle. Now, this has been a long time, like seven years ago.

So I'm not going to get all into it with Michelle because she's already answered every question about this.

But she went right after the Democrats, the Republicans, Trump, and Sarah Huckabee Sanders, which caused her quite the kerfuffle in a good way and a bad way. As they say, no press is bad press.

And I have to agree

because she, as she has said on interviews before, and she'll probably tell us here when I ask her about it, she wouldn't change a goddamn thing. Michelle has just had a little one.

So we're going to give her some grace because she's probably has a little bit of mom brain.

I'm like, I don't know how many children I am in. Nine, 13, something like that.
I'm nine or 13 children in. I'm at least three three years from the last one, and I still have dad brain.

I don't think that goes away, actually. I think I'm just,

this is my fate. My fate is just to be forgetful, stumble around the house, and eat late night as much as possible until I explode, literally, or until

I get another bout of salamonella that causes me to lose 20 pounds. The good news about the Thanksgiving stomach drama, it always resets my weight.
So there you go.

Not doing it on purpose, not saying you should do it on purpose, but you know, it's good if you can get it and you want to lose a couple pounds. Just find me.
I'll give you some norovirus.

Okay, let's do this. Everyone, calm down.
Links are in the show notes. As they always are, Michelle's special is available currently.
You should go watch it.

And we'll ask her about any upcoming live dates that she has. Chrissy and I will return this Thursday.
to a live audience on Twitch and YouTube and kik.

You can go ahead and follow us at the commercial break on Instagram. We will notify you when we go live.
People have been asking about the YouTube videos.

Those are now under the live section because we are actually going to be putting those out as soon as they are broadcast. So we're recording them.

And they are being broadcast live at the same time, if that makes sense. Recording for the podcast to be broadcast later on the RSS feed.
And if you tune in at that time, you'll be seeing it live.

You can interact with us, chat with us. And then soon, you'll be able to jump in the video chat also.
Lots of changes coming to TCB. Stay tuned.
Season seven. Are we on season seven? Holy shit.

Season seven

is going to be a lot different than any of the previous seasons. So stay tuned.
But now let's all focus our attention, please. Class, settle down.
Settle down.

Put your pencils and erasers away because Michelle Wolf is coming up and she is just good enough to deserve, to demand our attention. Okay.
I'm going to go drink some fluids and

get some Sprite and Saltines. You listen to Michelle Wolf, Chrissy, and I babble on.

We'll be right back.

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on TCB. And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue.
Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears.

And I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail. Speaking of mail, get your free TCB TCB sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the contact us page.

You can also find the entire commercial break library, audio and video, just in case you want to look at Chrissy, at tcbpodcast.com. Want your voice to be on an episode of the show?

Leave us a message at 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822.
Tell us how much you love us and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us.
That'd be fine too.

We might not air that, but maybe. Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay.
Just send a text. We'll respond.
Now I'm going to go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors.

And then we'll return to this episode of the commercial break.

This episode is sponsored by our longtime sponsor, Squarespace. I am working on a new project, Information TBD.
It's very secretive.

It's very hush-hush around here because, you know, podcast secrets are a thing. Anywho, there is only one all-in-one website tool that's designed to help my new project stand out and be successful.

And that one tool is Squarespace. Squarespace can help me through every step of the process.
The launch, the scaling, the branding, and the growth.

No matter what part of the journey I am on, Squarespace is an all-in-one website platform, so it'll cater to my needs every step of the way.

There are so many benefits, services, and tools built into Squarespace, I would need a 10-minute commercial to name them all.

Cutting-edge design, search engine optimization tools, domain management, analytics, email campaigns, the ability to host videos, and most importantly, the ability to get paid.

So if you've been thinking about building or upgrading your website, now's the time to head to squarespace.com slash commercial for a free trial.

And when you're ready to launch, make sure to use the offer code commercial to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. That's squarespace.com slash commercial.

Then be sure to use the code commercial when you're ready to launch. Squarespace has been with the commercial break for a long time, and we have been with Squarespace for even longer.

This is a company we trust, it's a product we use, and there's one overarching reason why. It makes my life easier.
Go build yourself a beautiful website, squarespace.com slash commercial.

And thank you to Squarespace for being a sponsor of the Commercial Break.

That? That's the sound of extremely processed dog food, which is the norm at most pet food companies. But at the Farmer's Dog, we do things differently.

We gently cook our food without ultra-processing.

It's developed by our team of board-certified nutritionists, made to human-grade safety standards and portioned for your dog, then delivered right to your door. How does that sound to you?

Get 50% off your first box, available only at thefarmersdog.com.

And Michelle is here with us now. We are quietly talking so we don't wake up the little one.

Welcome, Michelle. Who's with her right now? Welcome, Michelle.
Thank you so much for joining us. Thanks for having me.
It's very, I feel like you guys are much more quiet with your voice than I am.

The sleeping baby right here. I got to get this baby acquainted with my voice, you know?

That's right. They got to know how to sleep through this.
Uh-huh.

We do a podcast in our house, and all three of my children have, I mean, the first one was already born, but the other two were born while we were doing the podcast.

So they are well acquainted with all the yelling and hijinks and shenanigans.

Is this one an easy sleeper? Is he easy? Yeah, he's a big sleeper. Loves sleeping.
That's nice. Sleeps like an alarming amount during the day.

He's like a cat. Yeah, I'm sort of like, are you going to sleep tonight? Like, what's happening? Yeah.

Okay.

That's the, this is the best time, though, my opinion. I mean, they're all the best times if you just pay attention and focus a little bit.

You know, they're all the best you can find the joy in in the moments at least so far I only have ones that are seven or below yeah so when they get to 13 I'll reconsider my opinion yeah change your mind but when they don't crawl and they don't talk back and all you have to do is just feed them and then let them sleep and occasionally change it a diaper it's such a joy because they really do need you so much they're just like little cuddle bugs i've been

i love this this newborn phase is like i think i took it for granted the last time because i was like, oh, it's just like eating and sleeping and changing, you know, like I watched

like the last time I watched every TV show that I had never watched before

because there's really nothing else to do, you know?

You're at home, you don't have another child to take care of when it's your first one. And then the second one comes along and you're like, I would, you know, it's just, it's, that's, it's joy.

The newborn, for me, the newborn part's the easiest.

Totally agree. It's the newborn glow.
I don't know why they sell us this complete lie that they're like, oh, you first have a baby, you're never going to sleep.

And I'm like, I sleep more with the newborn

than I think I've ever slept in my entire life. It's always, it's post-that.
Like, you don't have a toddler pulling you out of bed at four o'clock in the morning, you know? Like, miserable.

Yes, that's when they start walking and talking. Then you're like, Yeah, and they're like, They're like, this way, this way? And I'm like, why?

What are we doing?

Daddy, play with me. Daddy, play with me.
Oh, come on, man. Daddy's got to do just a little bit of work, i.e., take a nap in my office and pretend like I'm working.
Yeah. Why do they make like a

toddler Nespresso machine so they can use it? Not for them to drink, but for them to use.

So that when they do wake me up at four in the morning, they can come in with a little.

I'm teaching my kid how to drive his little, uh, you know, his little motorized car to Starbucks for me. Kid,

give me an iced coffee. Take daddy's credit card.
And if it doesn't work, just smile at them and say, sorry, pay you later. It's what I get.

So when you

I imagine that you're taking like a little bit of respite for yourself right now, besides the special being out and you having to do a million call-in podcasts or whatever you're doing, I would imagine that you're taking a little bit of a respite right now.

Do you take like a mama break and just get acclimated?

You know, I haven't, to be honest. I mean, like, I'm not doing stand-up at the moment, but I'm like, you know, there's some things I'm writing and trying to make.

So,

you know, that's kind of what I've been doing. And then promoing a special, which like

people have to remind me like 17 times when I have things because my brain is on like 4% already. Right.

Like, and I'm in like a different time zone. And I'm like, but what time is it my time? You know,

I think the best vacation that I ever had, my personal opinion, and I think Astrid might, her,

I think she would agree with me at least two of the times, is like that three or four days in the hospital after the baby is born.

And you have the nurses that'll take the baby for, I don't know if you have the same experience, but in our hospital, which is the baby factory of the United States of America,

they will take your baby. And they, like, if you say, I need a break, they'll take your baby.

So, for the second two kids, we were just like, Take the baby, you know, yeah, we need a break the whole time. Can you give us four days of vacation?

I remember one of my friends

said specifically when she was having her second baby, she was like, I'm really looking forward to the time in the hospital. Yes, so she was like,

Because I won't have, I have the baby, and then I'll just won't have either of the kids for like periods of time. But I, um, I thwarted that plan by having a home birth.

So

I didn't, I just, you know,

the midwife came and luckily they clean up. That is, you know,

yeah.

That's tea.

Can I ask you a personal question?

Is it a little bit scary having a home birth after you had a hospital birth? Or do you feel like you had a home birth for both of them? Oh, you did?

Oh, so you don't know. Yeah, I had a home birth for both of them.

I don't know. I mean, like, I'm a very kind of go-with-the-flow person.
And I, I was a, you know, I was a science major. I wanted to go into medicine.
So, like, I'm, you know, I'm not super,

I don't know,

fussy about little things. Yeah, like, I'm like, I, I don't mind like blood, you know, like when I get my blood taken, I like look at it, you know, like, I'm not like a,

uh, but

I,

and I also know that if there was anything bad that happened i'm close enough to a hospital you know that's like you know it's not i'm not super far away from anything so uh

yeah i was just

i don't know you're not one of these guys

one of the things i really hate and this is just me personally is that like the idea of having to lay on your back to have a baby i couldn't have done it Because like I, for both of mine, I was like kind of like somewhat vertical, like either on my knees or like standing a little bit and like i

for the moments i was on my back it was like the most excruciating pain i've ever had really wow so i was like that like especially during the first one i was like i was like i i'm so glad i'm at home so i i can kind of be in the position i want to be in without being like attached to all yeah i didn't even think about that you know machines and things like that so for me it worked out well i know it's not for everybody but uh

you know i also think they scare people i'll be honest i think they they scare people with birth where they're like well you know your baby might die and you're like well of course i'm you know like yeah of course i need to go to the hospital yeah yeah why wouldn't i want the doctor around yeah you know i think everybody who's anybody who has children or who knows people have children there is a horror story in there somewhere our first our first was i'm i i think the universe, every day that we were in a hospital setting, we had discussed,

we had a midwife, like we hired a midwife to come in and help make it a little bit more organic, but think, you know, just whatever, the universe circumstances put us in the right place at the right time to make sure everybody was okay.

But, you know, you do make a point is that it's in a clinical setting, everything becomes very clinical and a little weak and a little sterile, right? And it's a birth.

It's like there's a little dude or a little lady coming coming into this world. You,

if that, what makes you feel comfortable and it's like organic, I think it's perfectly. Um,

and I never thought about laying down and how much that might hurt. I didn't either.
Yeah, but that little dude rubbing against your spine. Yeah.

You know, you have to be surrounded by like responsible people who are like, no,

you know, what to do if something happens.

You know, like, you can't just like.

I've also heard the other side of it where people are like, you know, like they have like a horror story about like, they were like, yeah, and then I was at home and this happened and they didn't get me to that, like, I almost didn't make it to the hospital in time.

And it's like, well, then you had a, you didn't have a good midwife. Yeah.
You know, like,

yeah, the midwife kind of failed you. Yeah.
Yeah. It's like you, you, you, you need someone who's on top of it.

You need someone who like knows you, knows the situation, you know, has done it plenty of times, you know. So I think there's a,

there's, I don't know, but for me, it was great. I really, I really enjoyed it.
Um,

missed out on that sweet, sweet afterbirth hospital. Yeah, that's the thing.
They give you a hotel room.

That's food, it's terrible, but the hotel rooms are nice. I mean, for a hospital, you know, it's basically a hotel room.
That's what it is.

I, you went, you studied science, but didn't, did you work on Wall Street for a while?

I did. I have not done anything that would have led me to comedy.

How did you make a little transition?

I was a science major.

I didn't even do anything in college that would have led me to Wall Street. Like, this is like, I don't, like,

I studied kinesiology.

I wanted to go into like exercise physiology, some sort of exercise science. So naturally, you traded options.

Yeah, so naturally, I got into

mutual funds and separately managed accounts in in 2007, which great time did

get into the banking industry. Yes,

and

the banking industry did just fine. We helped them out.
That's true. Yeah, the banks were fine.
Actually, well, here's the thing: I was at Bear Stearns, which

a lot of places, you know, the banks were too big to fail. Bear Stearns was just the right size, just the right size.

You went to Bear Stearns in 2007, so you're out of a job in 2008. Watched it collapse in 2008.

I, because I was like young, cheap labor, you know, like I, I stayed on and got to watch so many people get fired.

Um, and like, you know, people that are like older, like in their like, you know, 60s, have been working, yeah, 50s and 60s have been working at the company like 20 and 30 years, and it was just, it was a very depressing time.

Not to mention, you know, society was also on the verge of bankruptcy. Collapse.

Yeah. And, you know,

but all the like, you know, the bigwigs, all the banks were like, but I mean, it was an accident. Can't you trust your money back?

So sorry.

What happened? I thought we were friends.

But we didn't know.

I mean, they warned us, but we didn't know. I mean, there was that one guy that made a billion dollars betting on our failure, but we had no idea.

We had planned and we set ourselves up for success, but we didn't know.

Yeah.

How could we know a guy that makes $12,000 a year

can't afford a million-dollar hours?

How were we supposed to know the guy wasn't going to pay his mortgage? Yeah.

So is that like...

Did you find comedy in the tragedy?

Amidst the banks collapsing, I had gone to a taping of Saturday Night Live

just to watch because I was a big fan of the show. And I was like, how do people do this? Like, how do you you get on a show like this?

And I looked up most of the people on the show, and they had all started in improv.

So I just signed up for an improv class. And then that was in like March of 2008.
The banks are collapsing. I'm doing improv after work.

And I just, I wanted to do more and more of that. So I kept doing improv.
I kept working at the bank during the day.

Eventually, instead of, you know, Bear Stearns, I was working for JP Morgan and then doing as much improv as I could and then eventually switched to stand-up. And

away you went. And here you are.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.

And then you, we were reminded that you had the, the, I mean, there's like,

obviously you've been doing this for a long time and there are a lot of a lot of hard work and a lot of ups and downs, I'm sure.

But you had a show on Netflix called The Break, and then we just put the commercial in the middle and stuff. Oh, yeah.
Very nice.

We thought it was such a great name. We said, but we can't just rip it off directly from Michelle.
You had the wonderfully

I mean, that 2018, at the correspondence dinner, I think that was,

that's amazing because it's a moment.

I know you've said this a million times, and I don't want to rehash it because you have done this on every interview ever.

But in that moment, like after like the day after the White House correspondence dinner, I know you've said, I wouldn't change a word. Good for you.
I wouldn't have, I would have felt the same way.

But do you feel like you're in a little bit of a tornado in that moment

um you know what was the most confusing thing is that people were like

okay i said um you know she burns facts and uses the ash to create a perfect smoky eye about sarah

about sarah canvers yeah

and

i had um an interview the next morning on npr with terry gross oh i love

maybe not the next morning the the monday morning after so it happened on a saturday night and on that that monday morning i had an interview with terry gross and everyone was taking that joke like totally like to say that i called her ugly and listen if i'm gonna call someone ugly i'll just say it you know like i'm not gonna make some makeup analogy right is it a compliment um

but

The most one of the most confusing things, because everyone was so mad about it. And I was like, what are they even, how are they even taking that negatively?

And then Terry Gross was like, so what is a smoky eye?

And I was like,

you got to take a step out of NPR for like five seconds. Let's get rid of some of the flannels and put down some of your tote bags

and just pick up one

glass, one copy of Vogue.

You know, just flip through it.

I know

you read all the classics. You've probably got a bunch of Jane Austen in your house.
But for like five seconds, can you just flip through a Vogue and get a little bit on the zeitgeist?

It's so on-brand for Terry Gross to go, what is a smoky eye? She wants to dig into what she wants.

I was like, how do you not?

How do you not know? Well, I think that, to be honest with you, I think of that whole, I guess, performance, whatever you would call it, that sad, you know, the speech, whatever it was, roast.

I think that was like, you went after every, I mean, you, you had fun with everybody. It wasn't like you just pointed out Sarah Huckabee Sanders.
It just happened. I think it happened to be the

punchline that landed. The whole thing was hilarious.
You went after Trump and Democrats and everybody.

Well, not to mention, Sarah Huckabee Sanders was the representative from the administration that was there. The press secretary.
Oh, yes. It would have been weird not to acknowledge her, you know?

Yeah.

Yeah, exactly.

But I did. I went after everybody.
I went after the right, the left, the media.

I mean, the media is probably who I hit the hardest, and that's why they, you know, came after you and turned it around a bit. Yeah,

but yeah, and uh,

yeah, I don't, I, I really, I, I get so annoyed when, like, because it's mostly people who have never actually watched it that they're like, and they just like heard like a snippet on Fox News or something like that, where they were like, you can't only make fun of Trump.

And I'm like, I am so sick of making fun of Trump. Like, please give me more people to make fun of.
Yeah, yeah, he's an easy target. He is the lowest hanging person.

Sometimes I'm like, I don't even want to, like, I would love to make fun of everyone else before Trump because it's just, I'm so like,

and this was back then, you know, like this was in the first term when I was like sick of, sick of Trump jokes, you know, like I, I firmly believe the entire government is bad. Yeah.

Fuck Twads who are grown-up children who have too much money, too much power, and too little conviction for anything. They say the right things, they do the wrong things every single time.

And by the way, I will share with the audience and with you that

I don't see it that way. I don't think you just bash Trump.
I think you are an equal opportunity basher. If you see some bullshit, it seems like you call it out.
Yeah, you're welcome.

There's very few people that I enjoy.

Yeah.

And one of them is on your lap right now.

Well, I mean, we'll see for now. Yeah, yeah.

But in that moment, you know, you're, it's like that I've, I was reading about it when

just like harkening back to that time. And everybody heard about this is before COVID.
This is Trump 1.1. But then you become like kind of a household name.
So

jokes on that, jokes on them, I guess, because it really did you a service in the sense that I imagine it kind of accelerated a career arc for you. And

who cares? So who cares?

Job done.

And knowing what I know now, not only like,

you know, I would change my answer slightly. Knowing what I know now,

I would go harder. You know, like

I felt like I was being, you know, somewhat restrained.

And, you know, if they were going to get mad at me, first of all, they were going to get mad at me at the the volume that they did, you know, I would have gone much harder to like deserve that, you know, like

you're going to like call me all these like terrible names. Like, well, then, like, let me do like the mean stuff, you know, like, right, exactly.
You would have redone.

But also, like, knowing you know what the position society's in now, I would have just, I would have been much like more direct

and much more like searing. And,

you know,

to, I don't know, just be like, people, can you see it now? Like, can you see it now? Yeah. Before we fall into this abyss.

This beautiful, beautiful abyss. It's the beautiful.
The best.

Beautiful, big. Bitcoin.
Yeah. Bitcoin.

And if you think about it, it's Bitcoin. Bitcoin.

The reality is six years later, the things that we fussed about back then. Just think about this.
Seem tame. Seem tame.

Six, seven years later, those things now seem tame to us because we have been so beat, brow beaten by the insanity, the everyday insanity of

the political climate, just like pop culture, all of it in general, that what you said then probably wouldn't even be a blip on the radar now. Oh, yeah.
Number one.

And number two, it's gone so much further off the rails that I don't, it doesn't not recognizable. 2018, 2025 are not even recognizable.

I mean, I think I would have had to have surrounded by my own personal security. You know,

I would have been like, I mean, there's no way they're ever going to do this, you know, at least why Trump's president

for the next, I don't know,

10 years. Yeah, exactly.
However long. 26 years.
Kind of happen. Yeah.

I don't know. Yeah.

Yep. Well, did you see that? Because, yeah,

I just feel like, and this was kind of my thing.

Everyone, there's, you know, often there's a

certain comic type of comic who's always like, Trump's going to make sure there's no more censorship. And I'm like, that's not,

that's not how it works.

Exactly the opposite of what he's going to do. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Well. I think some of those comics are now on their back heels saying, well, this is not what I voted for.

And okay, you know, it is what what you voted for. It is what you voted for.

It is what you voted for. My opinion in the moment right now is, well, keep speaking up against it and we'll sort it out later.
But it is what you voted for. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.

You helped other people vote for. That's right.
We'll say I told you that. I'm not mad at people when they actually join it.
You know, like,

yes, we like, okay, like, yeah, maybe you should have been in earlier, but like, you're here now. Let's go.
You know, like,

the whole like, like, getting,

it happens so much with with so many different issues. And people are like, well, you should have spoken up, you know, years ago.
And it's like, but they're here now. Okay.
Yeah.

Let's, we can dissect the whole thing at a calmer period of time. Right.
You know, like

the warm embrace of sanity

will have you here. There was this article that I read years ago.

And I mean, years ago, and now I think about it a lot, about we're going to have to welcome a lot of people back in, back in from the cold. Right.

And the wrong way to do it is to slam the door and scream and yell. Like it's not going to, that's, it's, that's not going to,

it's not going to accelerate some return back to normalcy, whatever that means, whenever it means it.

Yeah, and you can, I mean, you can even see it now. You can see people that were like somewhat ostracized, and then it like, it really hardened them into like,

you know, like, like almost like a villain. And you're like,

that's not what we want, right? Like we want people to like,

we want people to be like, hey, I, I wasn't thinking straight. I've really fucked up.
Yeah. And then you'd be like,

all right. Yeah.

I was brainwashed before. I drank too much liquid delta.

Come out of the delta. I drank too much liquid.

If someone

was on my phone, I'm not going to be like, right. Well,

yeah, yeah, you should have done that. Yeah.
And I mean, you think about it. It's like family members against family members.
And, you know, there's this podcast that I absolutely adore.

And if you can swallow any more of the political bullshit, it's a guy and a girl, like brother and sister.

And every episode is them talking to their now extraordinarily hardcore, extreme right parents who are in their 60s and 70s. And each episode, they try and work it out, right?

They try and like figure it out. And it is a shit show

with the parents.

The whole point of the thing is like, let's talk about how did you get here? What are you thinking about? And the dad is just way off the rails. I don't think he's ever coming in.

But But the mom, you can see is kind of like sometimes I get it. She's like, yeah, that doesn't make much sense.

And the kids are just like trying to present facts and be pragmatic and caring and empathetic. And it's really, it's like watching a family unwind or try to wind back up in real time.

It's a fascinating, my opinion, fascinating look. That's interesting.
And probably what's happening around the world. It's very interesting.
It's very interesting.

And, you know, I like that the kids are, their kids are trying to do that.

I think one of the biggest problems we have right now, and I don't know how it's solved, is that people just don't believe facts. Right.
Right.

And people often present things that aren't factual as facts.

So like there's, you know, I've seen plenty of interviews with like older people who are like, well, you know, and they'll say something crazy like, you know,

there's a swirling problem with Venezuelans taking over Idaho. Yeah.
Like, Yeah.

That's not happening. They're like, it is happening.
Well, eating the, what was it? Eating the cats, eating the dogs. Eating the dogs, yeah.
Wow. Alligators are voting down in Florida.
Yeah.

It's like, it's just all ridiculous shit. And you're so right about this.

But I think that's part of how we got here is that there's two different universes of information being presented.

And it seems like a whole bunch of people just got easily convinced that facts aren't facts.

Yeah. And, you know, people want to believe what they want to believe.
And there's so much information out there and there's no way to know. Like,

and, you know, like news organizations, a lot of like news media, traditional news media, they started having opinion people on their shows. Right.

But when you turn on, even, you know, you turn on CNN and there's someone. behind a desk saying something

it like there's nothing on the screen that says this is their opinion Yeah. You know, like, and I, yeah.

You'd think most people would be able to discern fact from opinion, but very clear that that's not the case. Right.

Well,

especially the older generation, I think they grew up more with their being actual every night Dan Rowther telling you Walter Crown fight. Yeah, that's right.
Yeah,

so then it just gets moved to a Fox News or even a CNN. I mean, they both, you know, swing in the opposite directions.

And then Facebook and, you you know, all this stuff, and you get these folks

at church. Yeah, Betty at church

wrote an article about how the furries are screwing in the bell tower.

I mean, you know, and I've even found myself recently, like, you know, like, I'll see posts and stuff online, and I'll be like, what? Yes.

And then I'll send it to a friend, and they're like, this one's not true. And I was like, oh, okay.

I should check.

I should check. You got to try it.

Now with AI, too, and

pictures looking like pictures. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, all the misinformation with that, too. Well, I wish more than anything that we could have

a toggle on like Instagram or whatever it is. It's just like, don't show me any AI.

Yes, yes. Well, when you post stuff, it says

when you post stuff, it says, is any of this created by AI? Help us identify AI. But your Instagram, you should be able to identify AI.

You helped create it. You should be able to identify it.
Don't you know your own family? Right. Yes.

Exactly. You don't know what your kind looks like?

And I mean, the other thing, the other thing is there should, I mean, like Europe is doing there should be some law that your personal image, likeness, and voice is yours, unique to you.

You are allowed to control it. You can sue people who don't, you know,

follow

your rules for however you want that used. And also, there are identifying pieces of code that are put into images and video that allow people to understand whether or not it's AI.

But here we're not doing that because Bitcoin.

Yeah, because we all want to make a trillion dollars. Right.
Because the AI bubble is holding up the economy right now.

What a sturdy, sturdy arm to be out by.

You worked on Wall Street. You know.
I mean, we're a one-legged table right now. Yes.
It's not even like. We knew, but we didn't know.

Oh, the fake bubble burst? Wow. Yeah.
So surprised. Yeah.

The AI, AI bubble burst? How artificially intelligent.

How is this special doing? The well?

I mean, do they give you any of that information? Do they say they call you up and they say, hey, Michelle, good job. We're really super jazzed about the numbers.

They normally give me some sort of information a couple weeks out.

I do know the day after it was released, it was in, it did make it in the top 10 for a minute.

It was number nine

at right behind, Is It Cake?

Oh,

always a pleasure to be watched slightly more than people guessing if it is exact cake. You know who's watching this cake.
My kids. That's who's driving it to number one.

They love that show over and over again. Same episode.

So, you know, know, it must have done at least early on, must have done well enough to make the top 10, which is always lovely. And then,

yeah, I mean, I'm getting continuing to get nice comments and followers. So, so we'll see.

You got a call from your agent saying, you got to do the commercial break.

Sorry, you got to do the commercial break. And she's like, shit, it's that bad.
It might be. Let's just get on the commercial break.
We'll figure it out later.

Well, in all fairness, I did tape this in 2023. And I like the, from the time I said, okay, yes, let's do it.
I think it was like, you know, mid,

you know, mid

September. And then we got it out, you know, mid-October.

So

wasn't a lot of planning time on my part, which is pretty standard for me. Yeah.

Where did you tape it? I taped it at Lincoln Theater in Washington, D.C.

Yeah.

it's a great little theater um

and uh

yeah it's uh i have another one that i taped in november of 2024.

so

wait if i'm doing my math correct were you pregnant when you were doing uh

the second one

no oh no no no the the first one not the first one the first one was post first baby and the second one was pre-second baby okay all right so you have another one one in the can ready to go. I do.

Yeah. Look at you.
Yeah. It's a

we got to get more like that. I was going to say we need more in the can.
We need more in the can. We need to get

to stop riding the rail. But unlike Michelle, Netflix is not, you know, Netflix ain't calling for ours.

And then what do you, what is your intention? Are you going to go back out on the road with new material?

Um, I really, I'm, I'm, uh, there's a show I want to write. So, you know, I'm in the midst of trying to

pitch that.

And hopefully I'll get to, because I would love, I would really love to stay home and write for a little bit.

Yeah.

As you can imagine, touring with two young people is not,

it's not the vacation you're looking for.

It's part of the reason why I think we are reluctant a lot of times to do live shows in any kind of string is because I don't want to be away from my family.

And it's hard to take them along. Like, first of all, we would barely make any money anyway.
Then you bring kids and it's all over, right? Now you're just paying for them to have a vacation. Right.

But then it's, it doesn't, for me at least, I really want time with my children and I want that

not uninterrupted because I like to take time away from them, but you know what I'm saying. Just concentrate.
Yes, concentrate a few minutes a day on my children and make sure that they feel

loved. Are you in New York?

I i mean it's nice to check in with your kids once a day i agree once you know like just for five minutes i read this thing one time this like psychologist that i follow on instagram this child psychologist and she said

if you have multiple children if you give them 10 to 15 minutes of dedicated time no phone no tv no nothing just 10 to 15 minutes this is you know this is what this is your time yeah then you are filling up their cup and i thought to myself that sounds really easy.

But now I have three children and that's really hard to get 15 minutes by itself.

I must have read the same thing because I saw that and I'm like, okay, yeah, like if I can,

I like to think back on my day and I'm like, yeah, I think I think I played with her for 10 to 15 minutes.

You know, like

I think so. The phone is the hardest.
Like putting the phone down, in my opinion, is the hardest thing. And it's something that you just have to remember.
And then pretty soon they want your phone.

And then that's

the game's all over.

How old is the first one? How old is your daughter? Almost three. Almost three.
Is she starting to grab at the phone, grab at the iPad? I mean, she's been on the phone for six months.

I was traveling with her on tour from when she was about six months. So as soon as I needed it on a plane,

it was,

I was like, well, we're not.

this is

this has to happen. Yeah.
This has to happen. And it's like, I don't, I know there's plenty of parents that are like, no screen, no screen.
I'm like, you don't travel. Yeah.
Yeah.

Yeah. Or take

restaurants. Yeah, they take them to restaurants where they don't parent.
They don't understand what parenting is.

They're like weird people on TLC who don't, you know, the kids don't know who Justin Bieber is. Do you know what I'm saying?

They're like just weird children who can't get along in society now that they're all wilding out with, you know, in their own apartments. The reality is, Aster and I said the same thing.

We're not gonna.

I when I remember you guys think when we first met, we were traveling, we would see kids, and they'd have their own iPad, and they'd be pressing it, or they'd be at the dinner table, and we'd just shake our head in condemnation like little judgmental fucks.

We'd be like, nope, never gonna beat us. We're never letting our kids be on there.
And the second the first one was born, we almost handed them the phone instantly. It was like, will this shut you up?

Okay, good. All right.
Yeah, whatever you want.

Yeah.

I get proud of both

myself myself and my parenting when I'm just watching a television. Yeah.
Yeah. You know, like, anytime I'm just like, I'm just going to watch this show.

I'm not going to be on my phone at the same time. Yeah.
I'm proud of myself for doing that.

And then also, anytime that she just watches the television, I'm like.

Okay. We're doing pretty good today.

I did that as a kid and I turned out okay.

Not only was I watching TV, I had, you know, I had two older brothers and we had one of the TVs where you had to change the channel on the TV, right?

And because I was the youngest and the easiest to convince of anything, I sat next to the TV

so that I could change the channel because we would often try to watch stuff that our parents, or at least that my parents didn't want my older brothers to watch.

I had no idea what was going on. So not only was I watching television, I was watching television right next to you right there yeah

oh

he's

such a sweet little boy he's been quiet the entire time yeah he's been doing good i think he's you know he just wants to switch around he wants he wants to take the other one

um

well listen okay so we'll we'll it

This special, The Well, is currently on Netflix. You can follow Michelle on social media also.

You are a true joy to watch on my social media. You're funny.
And

I like the efficiency of like your joke writing is very efficient. I think you use your words very well.
And unlike me, you don't go on and on forever. I think that's a, I think your comedy is like.

It's special in that way. It's unique in that way.
It's smart. It's sharp.
It's biting. And you don't have to.
I'm also just not a great storyteller.

You know, like some people are really good at storytelling

and they get funny along the way. And I'm just like, yeah, I'll ramp.
Like, I'm like, I can't.

I know people are like, how was last night? I'm like, it was great. And, you know, we asked Brian, how was last night? And we were like, half an hour later,

half an hour later. But, you know, that's that's it's a gift.
Yeah, some people are wordy, some people are not. I don't know if it's a gift.
My wife wouldn't call it a gift.

That's why she wanted to do to start the podcast. Shut the fuck up.

Michelle Wolf's news special, The Well. Check the show notes below.
Michelle, thank you so much. You are welcome on anytime.
You really want to do that. Thanks for having me, guys.

This was really fun. Wonderful.
Thank you. We appreciate you taking time because we know you're very busy writing, being a mama, and promoting this well.

So let's go watch it and get her back behind Isa Kig. Let's get her in front of Isa Kig.
Can we, guys? Right? Yeah, let's.

Yeah.

Leap frog. Leap frog this.

Leapfrog the show where D-list celebrities try and guess whether or not they're cake.

Although I've seen some B and A-list celebrities on there in the last couple seasons. I'm like, oh, is it cake? Must be a thing now.
Everyone wants to know if it's cake, guys. Yeah.
Really?

They do do some crazy stuff. They do, but I'm just not that interested in whether or not it's cake.
I'm not interested. I just don't care.

I don't, I honestly stop trying to convince me if it's cake or not. Yes.
Just give me cake or don't give me cake.

If you give me a shoe and it's not cake,

I'm going to be be curious. Yeah.

Unless it's a nice shoe, and then you have to bring the other one. Instead of calling it a cake, give me a shoe when I'm expecting cake.
Okay, you know,

that's right.

Instead of calling it, is it cake? We should be here's some cake, and then you just get some cake. Yeah, right.

It's just a show feeding celebrities cake.

Feeding Corey Feldman like celebrities.

All of a sudden.

Thank you, Michelle. We appreciate it.

Thanks, guys.

Bye-bye. Thank you.

Rachel here. While Brian takes his old man Bladder to the little boys' room, let's talk turkey.
TCB needs your help. If you love the show, do us all a favor and share.
Sharing is caring.

And we know you care. Don't you? Well, don't you? Ooh, that was some childhood trauma.
Rearing its ugly head. Do you want to be on the show? Leave us a voicemail at 212-433-3822.

And you could be the next TCD disembodied voice. Ooh, what'd you do today? I was a disembodied voice.
You know, that sounds more dangerous than it actually is.

Find us on Insta at the Commercial Break, on the web at tcbpodcast.com. And all the episodes on video are available the same day at youtube.com/slash the commercial break.

I'm gonna go help Brian get back up the stairs while you listen to the sponsors, and then we'll all meet back here and get back to this episode of The Commercial Break. I'll take a raise now, bitches.

Bye.

Spectrum Business has a new offer that could be a game changer for small and medium-sized businesses. Are you ready for this?

You could get free internet for life when you sign up for four mobile lines.

Spectrum Business keeps businesses of all sizes connected seamlessly with fast, reliable business internet, advanced Wi-Fi, phone, TV, and mobile services.

Manage reservations, process orders, and entertain customers. Spectrum Business Solutions are designed with your business needs in mind.

Power all all aspects of your business with free internet forever from Spectrum Business. Visit spectrum.com slash free for life to learn more.
Restrictions apply, services not available in all areas.

Ready to level up? Chumba Casino is your playbook to fun. It's free to play with no purchase necessary.
Enjoy hundreds of online social games like Blackjack, Slots, and Solitaire.

Anytime, anywhere, with fresh releases every week. Whether you are at home or on the go, let Chumba Casino bring the excitement to you.
Plus, get free daily login bonuses and a a free welcome bonus.

Join now for your chance to redeem some serious prizes. Play Chumba Casino today.
No purchase necessary VGW Group Voidwear prohibited by law 21 plus TNCs apply.

Find new customers on a platform that's here to stay. With TikTok for business, anything is possible.
If you've ever thought about advertising your business on TikTok, now is the time to do it.

You can drive more customers to your website, sell products right in the app, and you can even use TikTok's creative tools to easily make content and find creators to help sell your products for you.

Find new customers today. Just open your browser, type in getstarted.tiktok.com slash TikTok ads and grow your business fast.

To be feeding your child and entertaining two mediocre comedy podcasters at the same time is a feat, fit est complin, as they would say. Is that French or Italian? I'm not sure.

Michelle Wolf, very honored to have her here.

She was like

so disarmingly lovely. I didn't.
Sometimes you expect a little more snap, but I didn't get any snap. I got all the crackle and pop, but none of the snap, and I loved it.
She was lovely.

And she's welcome back anytime. It's great to be here.
A new special available on Netflix. That is her second Netflix special.

I think she also has an HBO special, along with a bunch of other stuff that you you can find at MichelleisAwolf.com. MichelleisaWolf.com.
Links down below.

She's also got a podcast, which I don't even think we touched on. I don't remember, but I don't think we touched on.

Her podcast, which is called Michelle Wolf's Thought Box. And her most recent episode is called Tylenol versus Trump.
I love it. I'm going to listen to it while I vomit.
It's going to be awesome.

All right. Thank you so much to Michelle.
Sorry to Chrissy.

She has been shafted on so many of these intros and outros over the last two months. I don't even know what to tell.

Some of them were her fault because she went out of town for seven weeks for mempho and left me here hanging. Okay.

And a very special episode tomorrow because we're going to take the day off tomorrow. We're going to keep Chrissy out of the peach tree dish.

One more day.

And I'm going to run the other part, my half, of beach too sandy, water too wet. I did a special guest appearance with them, and they came on with us.
I don't know, it was like a combo appearance.

We were all just kicking it on the fly. It was really funny.
Go check them out. I love their podcast.
It is incredible incredible,

as the Spaniards would say. But you can hear them tomorrow here on the show at the commercial break on Instagram, youtube.com slash the commercial break.

Hit the live button if you want to watch the videos now, because remember, you can see them early by watching it live. Okay? 212-433-3TCB.
The phone is now working. It's open for everybody.

Okay, that is definitely all I'm going to be doing for today, but I do love you, and I love Chrissy too. Best to you and all the others out in the podcast universe.

Until next time, I will say I do say, and I must say, goodbye.

If your appliances can't handle the holiday hosting heat, December deal drops at Lowe's makes upgrading easy.

Get up to 35% off select major appliances and rewards members save an additional $40 on the Whirlpool Electric Range and the Over-the-Range microwave.

Plus, get up to 60% off select ladders so you can deck all the halls. Lowe's, we help, you save.
Valid through 1210. While supplies last, selection varies by location.

Loyalty program subject to terms and conditions. See Lowe's.com slash terms for details.
Ready to level up? Chumba Casino is your playbook to fun. It's free to play with no purchase necessary.

Enjoy hundreds of online social games like Blackjack, Slots, and Solitaire. Anytime, anywhere, with fresh releases every week.

Whether you are at home or on the go, let Chumba Casino bring the excitement to you. Plus, get free daily login bonuses and a free welcome bonus.

Join now for your chance to redeem some serious prizes. Play Chumba Casino today.
No purchase necessary. VGW Group, Void War Prohibited by Law 21 Plus, TNCs apply.

United Healthcare Nurse Crystal checked in on a patient. We do a routine call after surgery, and I could tell in her voice that she was struggling.
Crystal knew she needed help.

And I knew that this is very serious. This is like septic.
This is life-threatening. And she knew just what to do.
And I called the hospital and said she's coming in, here are her labs.

And got her the help she needed. I see my role at United Healthcare as a life-saving role.
Hear more stories like crystals at UHC.com. Benefits, features, and/or vary by plan, area.

Limitation and exclusions apply.