Hack Those Sticky Eyes!

This episode is sponsored by Discover. If there's one thing we've learned from the entertainment industry, it's just how easy it is to earn a reputation, even if it doesn't reflect who you really are.
For example, everyone thinks that Discover is a card that isn't widely accepted, but in reality, it's accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide. Yeah, 99%.
So maybe now you'll think twice before judging a book by its cover. Unless it's a celebrity cookbook.
In that case, judge away. Based on the February 2024 Nielsen Report, learn more at discover.com slash credit card.
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And welcome back to WSHIT's Focus on Community, a follow-up on a story 22 years in the making. Long-time Crabapple residents will remember the short-lived but meaningful Russian exchange student program that tugged at the hearts and the souls of the citizens of this great township.
And some with a keen mind will recall the very first Russian exchange student, 42-year-old Roman Rachmaninovich. Roman was just a rather fresh-faced middle-aged man studying opera at the local community college of Crabapple when he lost his chin, part of his tongue, and most of his nose in a terrible massage-related accident at Tina Tannen Tweeze.
While Tina Tannen-Tweez continues to deny culpability, Roman harbors no ill feelings

and made a triumphant return

to the Crabapple Community Theater

this afternoon

to give a rousing performance.

And with very little pun,

Crabapple took this one on the chin.

Here now, Roman,

with the Crabapple Community

Volunteer Orchestra,

covering the Beatles,

Let It be.

Until my heart and darkness, she is standing right and following me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be. Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be. And when the night is cloudy There is still the light wisdom The sound of music Now the memory comes to me We can dance for wisdom

Let it be

Let it be

Let it be

Let it be

Let it be

Let it be

Let it be

Let it be Let it be Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, He may not be able to smell what you're cooking or put on a helmet properly, but on behalf of the township of Crabapple, let me be the first to say post-travenia. On this episode of the Commercial Break.
If there was a secret that you could use some magic fire, and on occasion, I will admit, on occasion, a hack works. On occasion.
And it's usually something your grandma was doing way back when. Exactly, like how to clean the microwave out with steam.
Like some weird tribal writing in a cave that's been lost for a generation, but now we've found it again. That's so true.
Like, lemon and vinegar really does clean. Yeah.
Okay. Noemi taught us that one, and we're still surprised that vinegar's cleaning the house.
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Oh, yeah, guys and kittens, welcome back to The Commercial Break.
I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Chris and Joy Hoadley.
Best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian.
Best to you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this commercial break.
The only one you're going to need. The only one you'll ever need.
Five minutes or less. Raw dog it.
I like that little finger movement you did too. You like that when I kind of swooped in? Uh-huh.
You have to check that on youtube.com slash the commercial break. Hey, that guy who does Dr.
Phil, is it Ryan Long who does Dr. Phil? Do you know who I'm talking about? The comedian who does the Dr.
Phil live show? No. Have you seen this? Uh-uh.
I think we've talked about it briefly on the show. There's another podcaster and comedian.
I think his name is Ryan Long. And he does, like, he gets a bald cap on.
He dresses up like Dr. Phil.
And he does a whole live show called Dr. Phil Live.
Oh, wow. Where he goes up and he pretends he's Dr.
Phil. He talks to celebrities.
He interacts with the audience. It's really funny, but my impression is better.
That's all I got to say. Okay? You want to do a fill-off? We'll do a fill-off.
I can do a fill-off. This is going to be a changing day in your life.
I'm telling you right now. Grass greener on the other side, isn't it? Dr.
Phil has found his way into controversy and infamy. He has been quite the Nidnik as of late, running around.

What happened at the Dr. Phil show?

Couldn't he continue to do that?

That was okay.

My mom liked it.

My mom was in there.

I think it might have run its course,

but for him to jump straight into ice,

like catching people.

Catching people near the border? It's just make sure everything's going okay. Oh, really? Okay.
All right, Dr. Phil.
Yeah, this is the part that really kind of gets me, and I'm not going to go off on a tangent, so stay tuned. Don't press pause just yet.
Not going to go off on a tangent. I'm just going to say this, and this will be will be it it surprises me and it infuriates me at times how content creators and other celebrities are just jumping over themselves to lick the balls of you know political figures that otherwise we would have just had a kind of a healthy distrust of like a a little bit of i don't know like a little bit of, I don't know, like a little bit of,

hmm, I don't think I trust that guy because he's a politician. But now everybody's like

licking the balls as quick as they can. And I get it because you don't certainly don't want to be

on the bad side of a certain political party that may or may not exact revenge upon you.

But then at the same time, like, shouldn't we have like a little healthy disdain for our

politicians and our higher ups and our government? It doesn't matter who's in power. They're all

going to revenge upon you but then at the same time like shouldn't we have like a little healthy disdain for our politicians and our higher-ups and our government doesn't matter who's in power on both sides they're all gonna fuck you and so you might as well have a you know just keep one eye open when you're dealing with these people and to just run to get in the middle of the fray in the fracas so that you can take it you know well i mean he had plenty of money i'm sure why did dr phil yeah why did i need I need to get back out there? Go enjoy yourself on an island somewhere. Him and Judge Judy were the number one syndicated talk shows, television shows in daytime TV.
And daytime TV pays a shitload of money because it gets syndicated all over the place. And they throw those, I don't know, Tide commercials in there.
And everybody loves it. General Mills and Tide, they all spend their money in the afternoon.

And that's big money.

You can make a Dr. Phil show probably for $50,000.

If you have the set ready, you could probably make it without Phil's salary.

You could probably make it for $50,000.

Well, it was Oprah's set anyways, right?

Yeah, it was Oprah. He was doing it with Oprah.

Thanks, Oprah.

See, even Oprah, you should have a healthy disdain and distrust for it.

I like Oprah.

I don't know her, but I can't say too much.

I like Oprah because my mom liked Oprah.

Oh, I love Oprah.

I don't know her, but I can't say too much. I like Oprah because my mom liked Oprah.
Oh, I love Oprah. I love Oprah because my mom, ballsy a woman as she is, decided to do the following.
Let me tell you the story. There was a famous period of time with the Oprah Winfrey show when Oprah was everything.
Oprah was everything in the 90s. Everything.
And they used to run these commercials and here was the tagline. It was like a promo commercial for Oprah and they'd be showing clips of her show and there'd be a little ditty in the background and that ditty was Oprah's on.
Gotta make it cause Oprah's on. Oprah's on.
Gotta make it cause Oprah's on. Right? So the thing was is everybody was saying oh oprah's on we gotta go watch oprah uh-huh so my mom picked us up from school one time three o'clock that carpool was no joke sometimes you get stuck there till 3 15 3 30 just waiting for your kids to get to your car it was a holy shit of a process like it is now with my kids it's like holy fuck this is so inefficient why do we do it this way but anyway that's not for anyway, that's not for me to decide.
That's for me to suffer through. I'm not going to decide things.
I'm going to suffer through. So my mom picks us up.
Swear to God, driving through my neighborhood, and there are a number of stop signs, but we're in this neighborhood that no cop has ever visited for any reason besides maybe some drama that happened inside the neighborhood. Cops don't sit there and clock people.
It's a neighborhood, like a private neighborhood. Well, my mom blows through a stop sign.
And when the cop pulls her over, my mom is so agitated that she tells the police officer, can you hurry up? Oprah's on. Oprah's on.
My mom had to make it to see Oprah. She's willing to kill her kids.
Did he? Did he speed things up? He did not speed things up. In fact, I think he slowed them down.

I would say so.

Yes, because that's the way it works.

It's not a great excuse.

But my mom had been watching Oprah

since we were kids in Chicago

when she had a non-syndicated show

when it was just broadcast locally.

And it was a different type of show back then.

But I just remember my mom would cry at the Oprah show.

She would laugh at the Oprah show.

It was like Oprah was her best friend. And so for me as a little child, as a toddler and a little kid watching this.
She was Auntie Oprah. She was what? Auntie Oprah.
Auntie Oprah. That's what it felt like.
Yes, it felt like I had an extra aunt and her name was Oprah. And Oprah was omnipresent in our lives.
And whatever Oprah said went. So I have an affinity for Oprah.
It doesn't mean that Oprah's done all the most wonderful things in the world, including hoarding land in Hawaii. But okay, let's get past that.
She dropped a holy shit bomb on us twice. Not once, but twice.
With Dr. Phil and then Dr.
Oz. God damn it.
Dr. Phil and Dr.
Oz, Oprah? Really? Dr. Phil? Well, they morphed into people that were not who they portrayed themselves to be in the beginning, I think.
And I didn't see the Oprah Winfrey Network running from that. Do you know what I'm saying? They collected that cash.
That's all I got to say. I didn't see her running from that.
Dr. Phil, listen, at first, Dr.
Phil? Yeah, yeah, straight talk. Straight talk, Dr.
Phil, you know? My husband's cheating on my wife, cheating on my uncle, cheating on my brother. And he'd be like, this is going to be a changed day in your life.
Do you think you should be sticking your dick in your mother? No. That's right.
You shouldn't be sticking your dick in your mother. Let's talk turkey here, guys and girls.
We shouldn't be sticking dicks in our mothers. You understand? You agree with me? And everybody'd be like, oh, finally, someone said it.
You shouldn't have sex with your mother. And it was Dr.
Phil, and we were all like, Dr. Phil, a little straight talk when it's needed.
That's right. But then it turned into, like, catch me outside, girl.
Like, you know what I'm saying? Catch me outside! He was doing, he was straight up. Well, as we know, content is hard to consistently keep up with.
And I think, you know, they all kind of turn the way of the crazy. Jerry Springer show.
That's right. They devolve.
And if you've watched the Jerry Springer Netflix documentary, which is very good, by the way, then you'll see how quickly that happened. Because guess what? That's where the ratings are.
We love a train wreck. And to me, Dr.
Phil, toward the end, a lot of it was just like poverty porn, if I'm being honest.

It was just bringing on a lot of people who didn't have a lot of money, were in tough situations that probably any of us could find ourselves in.

But they happened to be in it and then exploiting that situation for ratings, sometimes in three or four episodes.

But Ryan Long does a pretty funny Dr. Phil.

I will say that.

Back to Ryan Long.

Be funny.

Hurry up.

Be funny. Hurry up and be funny.
I'll tell you what's not funny chrissy oh puke puke is not funny i don't find puke to be funny i hate puke who loves it well i mean i don't think there's any i don't know there's got there are puke lovers out there there is a there is a sexual fetish no yes i'm kidding. Not even joking.
I cannot believe you put that in my mind.

Yeah.

Well, hey, listen.

I'm not putting it in your vagina.

I'm just putting it in your mind.

There's a sexual fetish out there for people who puke.

They like to be puked on.

That's a thing.

I don't know.

I know.

It's absolutely horrid.

We all went to school, and every school had that bag of orange-flavored sawdust that they

would throw on puke that did nothing but make the puke smell like orange-flavored puke. Yeah, it was bad.
It was bad. I could still get a whiff of that.
Oh, yeah. I still smell it to this day.
As a matter of fact, I went into my kid's school the other day, and there was a pile of that orange. It was present.
Yeah, they still use the same shit to suck up the puke. Can't they use OxyClean or something? Yeah, isn't there't there like something like a puke machine don't they have like a puke robot that comes and like you know i will now clean up your puke you know or something there should be we need to invent that boston dynamics needs to invent screw all that soldier bullshit invent a robot that goes and cleans up puke on your behalf without making it smell like orange deodorant puke do you know there what I'm saying? There's got to be somehow, you know, like a carpet,

like the Bissell steam, you know, the green thing that you can use.

There's got to be something.

Like combine a Roomba and a steam cleaner.

Yes.

It's got a big mouth on the bottom of it, like a fish mouth,

and it just sucks up the puke.

It puts it in a bag, like a sanitary bag,

and then it drives it to a far-off location and puts it on a rocket and sends it to outer space. Yeah, it explodes.
That's right. Because puke and shit.
I mean, if you know me, if you listen to the show, then you will know that I just have a real problem with pee-pee poo-poo and puke. It's like bodily fluids are not my thing at all.
And then you had 30 kids. And then I had 30 kids.
And now they're all, it's coming out of every direction. It really is.
It was a couple of years ago when two of my kids got sick at the exact same moment, and Astrid happened to be out with her friends that night, and they got sick at the exact same moment. One sat up out of bed, like shot up like something out of the extra cyst and just started projectile vomiting and then when the then the other one who was in the same bed rolled over and started vomiting over the side of the bed within seconds of each other it was insane and so here i am carrying both kids running into the bathroom disrobing them putting them in the shower well that was a couple years ago and then we had the projectile vomiting incident on the way home from my dad's house one time where the entire car was full of puke.
I mean, my kid could not stop throwing up. It was projectile, and it was gross.
Well, the other night, as I do, Chrissy, I was taking my third shower of the day. That's my wrap-up shower, my wrap-up shower for the night, trying to relieve some of my high blood pressure.
I stand in the shower for 30 to 40 minutes, catching up on whatever television I haven't had an opportunity to watch yet. So I'm taking a shower.
It's 11 o'clock, 1130 at night, and the door is closed. The door to my bedroom, the bathroom is closed, and I hear the most ungodly bang like boom just a crashing sound and i was holy shit what was that because everybody was asleep and then as soon as i scream what was that astrid comes popping through the door like a fucking kool-aid man you know crashing through the door yeah with one of my youngest kids, holding her, facing forward, arms outstretched, and all I can see is just puke just pouring out of this child's mouth.
And I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. It's on the glass of the shower.
It's splashing on the floor. And I say, give her to me.
Give her to me. Why I said that, I have no idea, but I just thought I was trying to be helpful.
Yeah, I didn't think she would actually do it. She gives her to me fully clothed.
I'm in the shower completely naked, and now I've got this kid that's puking all over the place in my hands, fully clothed, now sopping wet. So I undress her real quick in the shower.
I put the clothes off to the side in the shower, and I throw her up over the top of my shoulder, and I'm just like rocking her back and forth forth like, oh, it's okay. It's okay.
You know, and she's crying and she's upset because this is like one of the first times I think she's actually puked as a toddler. And the warm water is running on top of us.
I'm like, the warm water will calm her down. And then I can just feel it, Chrissy.
I can just feel the warm, silky, smooth flavors of macaroni and cheese and birthday cake running down the back of my body. And I look over my shoulder and she's just like, all over my back.
It's just dripping into the shower. I'm in a mess now and I don't know what to do.
How will I get out? What will I do? Do I throw the child over the shower glass and hope that they land on their feet? Do I scream? This is now a choose-your-own-adventure in my mind. Do I call Astrid and beg her to take this puking baby out of my hands? Or do I just man up, let her puke on me, and clean her up when she gets done and hope that everything turns out okay? Well, I would have yelled to Astrid, but Astrid was cleaning the puke from the bed.

Like, you know, waking all the kids up and taking them off the beds and, you know, cleaning the puke.

She had puked all throughout the whole bedroom.

It was just, it was disgusting.

It was awful.

The worst part about it was it had that smell.

You know, sometimes you puke and it's got a smell, but it's not that bad.

And then sometimes you puke and it smells like it's been ruminating for a couple of days. Do you know what I'm saying? That distinct throw-up smell.
And this was that. And this was that.
It was that. Oh, God.
So now I'm full of it. She's full of it.
The clothes are in the corner. There's puke all over the shower floor.
What do I do? Well, I just decide to man up happen yeah you have to okay you know you can't get in you can't risk getting another area of the bathroom pukey well that's the thing is that i might as well just let it all happen in the one place enter in the showers and i'm in the shower running down yeah it's running down into the drain which clean that up later yeah clean that up later well i unscrewed the drain and i just like down. Listen, whatever.
It's going to the same place, right? It's going to the same place as the toilet water. What do I give a shit at the end of the day? And it wasn't, my kid is small relatively, so it wasn't like huge volumes of throw up.
It wasn't like I just had 13 Bud Lights and threw up all over the floor. So I just let it happen.
And then I rock her in my arms for like 20 minutes while Astrid is cleaning up the thing. I mean, the shower is just going and I'm there with the thought that someone has just thrown up on me and I'm in the shower and I can't tell you the pins and needles running up and down my back and my arm, you know, that like feeling like, oh, get it off me, get it off me.
And I know it's off me because I've been sitting in the shower for 20 minutes, but I can't

get rid of the thought that someone had thrown up on me.

Well, it's not a stranger.

It's your child.

She's a stranger when she's throwing up.

That's not my child.

That's some demon child.

That's some demon animal that's throwing fire out of her mouth.

She might as well be a bull, like a livey bull eye virus as far as I'm concerned. It was disgusting.
And that was my thought too, is like, what if she has a virus? You know, that awful 24 hour stomach bug that you get? And it just like, where your body- We both had that, what, six months ago or so? At different times and in different households. It feels like August or October of last year, like sometime in the late summertime.
I was surprised. I mean, you rarely as an adult get that.
Rarely. You know, but when it is just, ugh.
I hate to throw up. I hate it.
To begin with. I hate it.
And then when it's uncontrollable. Uncontrollable.
And you're just, oh, you're laying down and then getting back up and laying down and getting back up. Ugh.
When you are a kid. I'm never being like, there's nothing left.
There wasn't anything left, but I continued to go. Yeah, I continued to go and retch.
And that's the worst part, is I'd almost rather have something in there. That retch, that bile, that green fucking bile.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I'll say it.
Yeah, but luckily this was not that, so to speak. This was, I think, a combination of foods.
We went to a birthday party. There was ice cream and cake and cookies and Doritos.
The whole birthday party. Yeah, and you just let them do it.
A lot of jumping, running. Running, jumping, bouncing.
Oh, it was at a trampoline park, too. There you go.
So there you go, bouncing up and down. That was it.
And of course, dad's always spinning the kids around for some reason, throwing them on the bed. That's my type of play with them.
I just pick them up and throw them on the bed. I'm like, hey, there you go.
It is fun. But that, so this was not a virus related thing.
I think it was just a tummy ache type of thing. But man, I'll tell you what, and I am so glad it wasn't because all I could think about laying down that night was please don't wake up in the middle of the night like I did six months ago.
That was the was the time the kid, one of our children, was puking in the car. And it, oh, it was July because it was one of my kids' birthdays.
And the next birthday was just a couple of days later. And we missed any activities for that birthday because we were so incredibly sick.
Astrid and I got it almost within 12 hours of each other. And we were both hugging porcelain i mean just like begging for mercy and the kids wouldn't like and then the kids got better and astrid and i were still sick i remember that you're like we can't record oh my god i was like go to mcdonald's buy all the happy meals you can get to buy the movies i even though i don't care how little money we have just send them to six flags get a babysitter put them on a bus send them to mart down marta to the big send them to the airport and back i don't care it doesn't matter you all reasoning goes when you're that sick you don't give a shit you just want your children to leave you the fuck alone please please but no there's no rest for the wicked those kids don don't stop.
As a matter of fact, the worse off you are, the more irritating they get. Because they understand.
They have an inherent sixth sense. They know you're sick.
And they won't leave you alone. It's like being on the phone, too.
Yes. You know, you've got an important phone call.
Daddy! Yes. The one time as a parent I've been hungover was the worst parenting day ever.
Not only because I was hungover, but because they knew it. They had an instinct.
They did. Like the cat.
They have like cat-like reflexes and they jump on you and they pounce. And they're like, hey, daddy! And you're like, my brain's about to bleed.
Oh, really? Peppa Pig is on. Can I turn on Peppa Pig on volume 50? Yeah, sure.
Okay. No problem, I guess.
It's 6.15 in the morning. Time to wake up.
Daddy just got home at 3. I know.
When we come to a parent to a daddy. Oh, excuse me while I vomit on you.
Oh, it was terrible. Maybe there needs to be like one of those children's shows that's educational and, you know, where they mimic hungover parents.
Yes. And what to do, what the child should be doing, which is be very quiet.
Be very quiet. You know, make up a little song, a little parents are hungover song.
Yeah. Is Bluey going to do an episode on hungover mommy and daddy?

Yeah, they should.

In that movie, we need to put a section of that movie dedicated to hungover.

They haven't dealt with hungover yet.

But I could see Bluey and Bandit doing this really well.

And you're right about this.

Sesame Street needs to do an episode on mommy and daddy being hungover.

Yes, or sick.

Or sick. Yeah, you know, either way, same thing.
Yeah, so the mommy and daddy can get back to drinking. Listen, I have lots of, I have one friend in particular who did this the entirety of growing, raising his children, but he had a wife that always took care of the children.
Do you know what I'm saying? He always had an out. He had a card.
He would always say, I got to go to work, baby. I got to brainstorm about my work.
I got to, I got to gotta do a brainstorming sesh which meant five days worth of cocaine and two bottles of whiskey an hour and cigarettes and all kind of things and he would always call me and he'd be like bro i gotta do a brainstorming sesh and and one time i caught him out on my porch at like 5 30 in the morning sun's Sun's just coming right up. And he's out there on his computer.
Cigarettes, like five cigarettes in his mouth. You know, lines cut on a mirror.
I solved the key. I solved the key to all the things that I needed.
And then he slept for two days. Right.
He slept for two days and went out. That's how it works.
All right, I got lots more to talk about.

We'll be back.

Hey, it's Rachel, your new voice of God here on TCB.

And just like you, I'm wondering just how much longer this podcast can continue.

Let's all rejoice that another episode has made it to your ears,

and I'll rejoice that my check is in the mail.

Speaking of mail, get your free TCB

sticker in the mail by going to tcbpodcast.com and visiting the Contact Us page. You can also find the entire commercial break library, audio and video, just in case you want to look at Chrissy, at tcbpodcast.com.
Want your voice to be on an episode of the show? Leave us a message at 212-433-3TCB.

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Tell us how much you love us,

and we'll be sure to let the world know on a future episode. Or you could make fun of us.
That'd be fine, too. We might not air that, but maybe.
Oh, and if you're shy, that's okay. Just send a text.
We'll respond. Now, I'm going to go check the mailbox for payment while you check out our sponsors.
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All right, and we're back. You know, Chrissy, I'm always looking out for the listener.
I'm always thinking about the listener. I like to think that I'm selflessly thinking about the listener as I'm trailing around bikini pictures and making sure that the world of Instagram is nipple-less.
But sometimes I come across a trend that I think is important for some of our listeners to know. And, you know, I think we have a few single listeners out there.
I hear from them every once in a while. I get a text message or an email.
And just by the nature of the email, you can tell that they're single or they should be single.

Or there's a reason they're single. Or there's a reason they're single.

There's a trend on TikTok and Instagram going on right now.

There's a girl who has taught everybody something called the sticky eyes.

Have you heard about the sticky eyes?

I have not.

Okay, let me let her explain in her own words.

How's that?

I'm going to put this up to the microphone because we don't have somebody to play this for.

Okay, wait. Sticky eyes.
Sticky eyes. This is one of my most powerful hacks.
This is how to get anyone to come up to you in a bar or in a social setting. This is called sticky eyes.
I invented this in college. It is so powerful that usually while I'm demonstrating to someone how to do it, I end up just doing it.
And I'm not even giving it my all. First of all, this girl, there's no humility with this girl.
I invented this? I invented it. You invented eyes? Did you invent eyes? Let's see what she has to say.
I'm going to tell you how the hack works, and then I'm going to tell you why it works, okay?

It's a simple formula.

You pick your target.

You stare at them until they look back at you.

Once you make eye contact, you look away like you've been caught, okay?

And here is the next very important part.

The next time that you look at them and they meet your eyes again, don't look away.

Let them break first because they're going to check to see if you were really looking at me. And the second look will confirm that you were.
And this time you're going to have to hold it uncomfortably long. They have to look away first for this to work.
Once they look away, you never look at them again. and in about 45 seconds they will be right in front of you as if they have been summoned psychically by you.
Okay, this sounds just as dumb as anything Michael Anthony has ever said. Yeah, I was going to say, I feel like that's a take on whoever we were listening to that said, just go up and stare at them.
Yeah, just like corner them. Put an arm up so they can't get away.
I mean, this is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Stare at them uncomfortably long and they'll come right to you? With a police officer, maybe? I mean, how many restraining orders do you have, young lady? This is weird.
You don't just stare at somebody uncomfortably long. That is a weird notion that that would work.
It was a two-pronged approach. Yeah, you first look away.
Yeah, stare at them until they look at you, then quickly look away. Then, and then when they look back, then that's when you just stare.
And then, wait, it was actually a three-pronged approach, right? Because then they will come right to you. No, well, then you look away and then you never look again.
Don't ever look again. Throughout the entire relationship, look down at your feet.
So I noticed you staring at me. Nope, my shoes.
Those are my feet. What the fuck? Yeah, well, okay.
So how is that even supposed to work? Then they just come up to you and say what? It doesn't work. This girl, for some reason, thinks she's got some magic because she stared at a guy and he came to her.
Yeah guys are pretty fucking dumb in general you know what i'm saying you give a guy yeah she's a pretty girl i mean she's attractive you give if you have that girl staring at you and you're at a bar and you're single yeah of course you're gonna come hither i mean that's it that's that's the thing guys aren't this is the thing ladies guys are really not a riddle we're not a mystery in case you haven't figured it out yet we're pretty open as as far as books are concerned we're pretty open books if you give us any amount of positive attention or negative attention it's likely we're gonna come hither like a puppy dog if we're single because that's that's just what we do we don't there's no magic to that you could just go up to a guy and say i think you're attractive come have a drink with me and if a guy has half a head on his shoulders and he's single and available or in a relationship that's you know ethically non-monogamous or whatever you're calling it these days then of, he's gonna come hang out with you. Do you know how many times this same trick has worked on me? None.
You wanna know why? I didn't give a girl a chance to have the second stare. After the first stare, I was buying her a drink.
That was it. Yeah, look at me once.
I was literally scanning the bar for anyone to look at me. And if you looked at me, you got a free Bud Light.
That's what happened.

You play the odds.

You send over Bud Light no matter what.

Just Bud Light, Bud Light, Bud Light. And if you don't like

Bud Light, you're not for me. Then move on to the next one.

That's it.

I saw you in action.

I saw this happen. Was I in action?

Boy, I would stare at the ladies.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

It was usually the bartender. It was usually the bartender who was uncomfortable, who'd ask to change shifts.
She'd be texting somebody. She'd be like, can you cover my shift? Brian's back.
That guy's back. The guy who stares? Yeah.
Yeah, that guy who stares. This is not a good idea.
I don't know why this is so complicated. Be yourself.
Do your thing. Don't be a fucking creep ball.
Don't be staring at people endlessly until you try and make that, like, zoom them in with your magical powers. Just go and have a conversation with somebody.
And if it works, if there's magic, you'll know it.

And if there's no magic, you'll know that too.

And if there's magic that you're feeling and she's not or he's not,

well, you'll figure that one out eventually.

That one will come to you eventually.

Well, you know, everybody's looking for a hack, quote unquote, too.

And I see a lot of this.

Yes.

Could be anything.

Cleaning hack, cooking hack, dating hack.

We've hacked it.

We've hacked it. It's a shortcut.

We've done it. Most of the time, it's- There's no hack.
It's not a hack. Cooking hack.
Dating hack. We've hacked it.
We've hacked it. We've done it.
Most of the time. There's no hack.
It's not a hack. There's no hack.
Yeah, I've seen all the cooking and cleaning hacks. You know, how do you clean a dead body out of your basement? Doesn't work.
Tried it. Yeah.
How do you make a million dollars podcasting? Tried it, doesn't work. Money hack.

Money hack, yeah.

Investing hack.

Investment hacks.

Listen, if there was a secret that you could use, some magic power, and on occasion, I will admit, on occasion, a hack works.

On occasion.

And it's usually something your grandma was doing way back when.

Right, exactly, like how to clean the microwave out with steam.

And like some weird tribal writing in a cave that's been lost for a generation, but now we've found it again. That's so true.
Like lemon and vinegar really does clean. Yeah.
Okay. Noemi taught us that one, and we're still surprised that vinegar is cleaning the house.
Better than any, you know, industrial lubricant cleaning solution we've ever used. Here's the reality.
And I think this is, you know, I had an idea for a segment that we could do that's named, we did it so you don't have to. Yeah.
Like, take a life hack, do it here, see if it works, and then we'll all really do the test. If I have been fooled once by the Rubik's Cube hack videos, I've been fooled a million times by them.
Do you know these videos that go around? You can solve any Rubik's Cube by twisting it three times this way, four times that way, seven times this way. Chrissy, I've spent hours in that kitchen dissecting those videos.
I must be doing something wrong. I must be doing something wrong.
And then I go to the comments section and it's like, yeah, that works if you take an already completed Rubik's Cube and do that in reverse and start there. So every one of them is fake.
Every one of them is a lie. There is no hack for the Rubik's Cube.
I mean, there are tricks to get it done quicker, but you just have to know how to solve a Rubik's Cube, which unfortunately my pea brain wasn't able to do in my best of

years. It's not going to be able to do in my worst of years.
Okay? I'm on the downslide. I'm not going to be able to complete a Rubik's Cube.
I don't care. I'm throwing it out.
There's no hack to finding love. There is no hack to relationships.
It's about meeting someone with mutual respect, trust and admiration

and trying your best on a daily

basis to keep it par

to keep it par. To keep that par.
Trust, respect, admiration. That's it.
That's the hack. The hack is be a fucking good partner.
Yeah, exactly. If you're a good partner, you'll have a good partner.
It really is pretty simple. I've tried all the relationship hacks.
Dating people who are a little off kilter because they're really good in bed, but you'll make it work. Don't worry about it.
No, doesn't work. Date your best friend.
No, doesn't work. I don't know.
Pay for sex. Still didn't work.
I paid for it and I didn't get it. I paid for it.
The two girls with the, you know, the menage a trois that you were in. Menage a trois.
They kicked you out. They kicked me out of the bedroom.
I was the only one left without an orgasm and I had no involvement in the other orgasms. So there you go.
Wasn't fun. Okay.
There's no magic secret. There's no hack to relationships.
Yeah. Communication.
Yes. Respect.
Love. Trust.
Admiration. Yeah.
Yeah. All those things that you hear about that are so hard to do.
That's the hack. That's the hack.
Do the hard work. You got to get it right.
Yes. Listen, Astrid and I, as of yesterday, have known each other face-to-face.
The first time we met face-to-face, 10 years ago. Oh, congratulations.
Yeah, thank you very much. So we've been over 10 years talking to each other, and people will ask, and when I say people, I mean dignitaries and presidents around the world, prime ministers.
Dr. Phil.
Dr. Phil, how do you do it, Brian? How do you have a relationship with so little friction? Well, first of all, be a podcaster who spends most of his time.
Let me tell you, like, funny side note. At the beginning of this podcast, if you listen to it, you will be reminded that Brian would often come in and say, I think I'm one step from divorce because I'm spending so much time on the podcast.
Last night, Astrid encouraged me to spend more time with the podcast. Don't you have some work to do? Yeah, well, she's like, oh, we can get rid of that.
We don't need that. You can do the work, right? And I'm like, that means more time in the studio.
It'll be okay for a period of time. Yeah.
I like my shows by myself now. I know.
I have to say, I'm on Astrid's page because, you know, Jeff works long hours. He does work from home.
Yeah. You know, so a lot of times he's gone to Memphis, but he works from home a lot.
And I have morphed. I used to get so upset, like, well, what about let's eat? It's time.
I've cooked this dinner. It's time to eat.
I want to watch the show, blah, blah, blah. Now I am like, just do your thing, honey.
I like it by myself. Yeah.
I want to watch Love is Blind and, you know, I'll call you when dinner's ready and you can eat or not. Yes.
I'm eating, whether you're not. Whether you're ready or not, whether you want to eat or not.
You can go back to work after that. Fail free.
In fact, I get another episode of Love is Blind. There you go.
See, here's the thing that I've learned about relationships. They ebb and flow like every other thing, right? Like friendships, every relationship in life, business, friendship, whatever.
There's usually some kind of ebb and flow. At first, you can't get enough of each other.
Then you're mad because you aren't getting enough of each other. And then you learn that I've had enough of you.
Yes, it's okay. Then you learn, I've in fact had enough of you.
Well, rather than fight it, you know, rather than, hey, and you know what? The work that you're doing on the podcast is good for the whole family. Same with Jeff.
That's it. And it makes him happy, makes you happy, the work that you're doing.
And that's what you want for your partner. I don't know if it makes me happy, but it gives me purpose.
Let's put it that way. We laugh.
We do laugh. That's it.
And so, you know, how do you make a relationship last for 10 years? I can count on one hand the amount of blowouts that Astrid and I have had. And those blowouts were compared to some other relationships I have.
Those were like a conversation on a Tuesday afternoon. That was a good day for some of the relationships that I had.
Because the blowouts last very little time. Because we have a mutual respect and trust and admiration for each other.
And know we just we kind of understand how each other ticks throw a little dash of humor into it that's it laugh at yourself laugh at yourself laugh at them laugh at your small penis and your inability to give the other person an orgasm laugh at that stuff that's funny to you that's funny that's funny babe look it's been 10 years, no orgasms. Isn't that funny? Call

Guinness Book of World Records.

10-year relationship,

zero orgasms. We'll

get there. We're working on it, babe.

It's a marathon. To which she says, I'll be

in the bedroom. Go back to your studio.

I'll be working on my

orgasm while you work on your

shit, whatever that is you're doing in there.

Listen, this is not complicated.

Sticky eyes doesn't work because it worked for this young girl who is attractive and probably –

At a bar in college.

Yeah, at a bar in college.

Come on.

At a bar in college.

You could literally – I mean, I hate to tell this story,

but I'm going to tell it because,

you know,

why not?

I've already told every story.

When Chrissy and I worked at Clear Channel,

there was a guy that sat in the office next to me

and he was a huge Clemson fan

because he went to Clemson.

Clemson,

Clemson,

Clemson.

Everything's about Clemson.

Clemson.

Chrissy,

you see the Clemson game? I want to say his name. Yeah, I want to want to say his name because if I said the name and then I did the voice, it would make perfect sense.
But he was married. He had kids.
He just sounded funny, right? But we loved him. He was a great guy.
He was. Yeah, but he'd be like, hey, Brian, you ever been to a Clemson game? And I'd be like, a Clemson game? No, I've been to a Clemson game.
I've very rarely stepped foot on a college campus, if I'm being honest. And he'd be like, got to take you to a Clemson game.
You love a Clemson game. The Clemson games are so much fun.
And so after a year of haggling me and after a divorce and, you know, being beat up at Clear Channel every day, seven days a week, forever. Projections, projections, projections, projections, projections.
Your protections are up. Your projections are down.
How many projections do you have? Give me more projections. You know, meetings every morning at seven in the morning.
You know, I finally, I relented. I said, well, you know, because he kept on saying, you got to come to a Clemson game.
I take the kids and we set up the thing and we got a nice place and you love it. It's Clemson.
And I'm like, oh, it's a beautiful campus and's a party. And I got my own spot and I paid for it.
And it's over near campus. And I'm like, I don't know what anything you're talking about.
And it doesn't sound like a ton of fun to go to a Clemson game with your family. You had two young kids at the time.
I didn't have any tailgating, do all that. Tailgating the whole thing.
But I like the guy. He's a friend of mine and he was good to me.
And I think I was a friend to him. And so after a year of the nonstop talk about Clemson, I said, all right, I'll go to a Clemson.
Well, you got to go to homecoming with me. Homecoming is going to be so much fun.
And I was like, okay. He's like, I don't have a ticket for you, but you can jump over the turnstile.
And I'm like, jump over the turnstile? What am I, 12? I'm going to jump over the turnstile. Am I a hooligan looking to get in a

Real Madrid match like this? What am I doing

here, right? So

Saturday afternoon

arrives. He's going to

I'm going to meet him at his house and we're going to

all drive over to Clemson, which is like a two

hour drive from Atlanta.

And this is all going to make sense

when I tell you the rest of the story

after the break.

We'll be back.

Let me do something Brian has never done. Be brief.
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It's the best gift you could give a few aging podcasters. See, Brian? That really wasn't that difficult, now, was it? You're welcome.
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Seek guaranteed details at TurboTax.com slash guarantees. Okay, Chrissy and I were talking about a trend on a reel that's trending on Instagram and TikTok.
A hack. A hack.
How to get someone to come hither at a college bar by staring at them until they get uncomfortable and finally come your way and approach you with a security officer. We were talking about that and we were explaining how that's probably not the solution for a relationship.
And then Chrissy said, plus, at a college bar. I mean, yeah, a college bar where everybody is smashed and looking for a one night stand, basically.
Not everybody, but most people. I mean, we've all been to a college bar.
We know what happens at a college bar. Everybody gets drunk and laid.
That's what happens at a college bar. So I was explaining that in my 30s, I have, in my early 30s, I have this guy who's working at the office next to me and he has gone to Clemson.
He's a Clemson guy. He's got a Clemson tailgate spot that he pays for every year, season tickets.
He's been begging me to go to a game for over a year. So finally I say yes.
Show up at his house. He's already pre-gaming it.
Wife's pregnant, by the way. She's going to be driving the car.
Two small kids already were going into like a minivan or something. And I'm like, yeah.
And so I just cracked the Bud Lights immediately. Like this game, by the way, is at 3 p.m.
So it's like 11 o'clock in the morning. We're heading out there.
And he's like, this is going to be the greatest thing ever. You've never seen a Clemson game? Clemson's going to, you're going to love it.
It's awesome. And I'm like, okay, great.
We're going to Clemson game. We get there, two hour drive.
We have roadies. You know, we're like drinking.
The kids are in the car and we're like pouring Bud Lights into these plastic cups and drinking on the way to a Clemson game. We get there, two-hour drive.
We have roadies. You know, we're like drinking.

The kids are in the car, and we're like pouring Bud Lights into these plastic cups and drinking on the way to the Clemson game.

And I swear to God, Clemson flags the entire way up there.

Everybody's doing the same thing.

Everyone's heading to Clemson.

It's like a big exodus from Atlanta to Clemson.

And we go, and we park in the trees, right in the shadow of the stadium.

You know, it's pretty impressive, right? I've never been to a college football game at that point in my life never so i'm i'm you know okay i'm getting excited i'm like all right so we pops open the back there's a bunch of people that are parked around us in this plot of grass and everybody knows everybody hi what you doing hey hey hey clamps andmson. You know, Clemson, Clemson, Clemson.
And everybody's dressed in that damn orange and those fucking sun visors and sunglasses hanging around their neck. You know, the typical Clemson wear.
Well, across the way, across the street is sorority and fraternity row. The row.
And I mean, one long street. So mainly sorority houses on this end of the street where we are.
And then at the end of that street, gas station, couple of bars. So before the game, I am out of cigarettes right before the game.
And I'm like, okay. And he goes, well, you just got to run down to gas station down there at the corner, which is like a quarter of a mile.
So I go, I cross the street. I'm walking in front of these sorority houses, party and every party everywhere, right? Party everywhere.
So I've got a roadie in my hands. I've now like six, seven Bud Lights in and I don't really make it to the gas station in the most direct way.
I kind of walk through the grass. I pick up a, you know, I get, I myself a beer from the keg.
I'm just enjoying myself. I'm walking in.
I'm talking to people. You're getting the full college tailgating experience.
Yeah, I didn't go to college, so now I'm getting the college experience, hanging out with the sorority and fraternity guys. And by the way, I wasn't the only 30-year-old doing that.
There was like lots of people just like partying everywhere. Well, especially if it's homecoming.
There's a bunch of alumni coming back for that. So there were two bars at the end of the street like the strip mall it was a mexican restaurant that was a bar and then it was like a bar bar and then a gas station so i walk in the front door of the mexican restaurant i order a bud line there are a ton of kids in this.
Just all drinking. Male, female, everything.
And there is a young lady sitting at the bar when I ordered the drink. And she's staring at me.
And I'm like, hey, what you doing? And she's like, getting ready for homecoming. This is crazy, isn't it? And I'm like, yeah.
And she goes, you are handsome. And I was like, oh, well, thank you.
And she's like, meet me here after the game. That's what she says to me.
And I take that Bud Light and I pound it knowing that I got to get back and jump the turnstile because I don't have a ticket. Right.
And I don't think much of it. I have no idea how old this girl is.
I'm guessing in her 20s, you know, like like mid 20s. But I don't really know.
I mean, I don't ask for an ID. Right.
She looks adults, but she doesn't look like, you know, she know she's not 40 and i go and i grab my cigarettes and i go back and so now i have to jump the turnstile of the the clemson thing this guy you know what he did he's like i'm gonna take the ticket and then i'm gonna get the ticket stub because they only check the ticket stubs and then you run to the opposite side of the stadium and then i'm gonna give you the ticket stub because i'm uncomfortable about actually jumping all right i'm like i'm an adult Why don't I just buy a ticket? He's like, there ain't no more tickets left. It's Clemson.
And I'm like, okay, I don't fucking know. By the way, this is long before Clemson was good at football this last time they were good at football.
They weren't that good at this point in time. But I'm like, I don't want to just try to like, it's a big area.
You walk into these gates and then there are ticket takers, right?

But if you're sneaky enough, you can kind of like sneak in behind someone and just head for the hills, right?

Just dart, I guess.

I don't know.

But I'm not a ticket jumper.

Like, that's not what I'm going to do.

So he's trying to explain to me how he's going to throw me the ticket stub from the balcony and then I'm going to catch it in the trees.

And then I'm going to walk back in and say I left and whatever. I'm like, no, okay, fine.
I'll jump the turnstile. I'll do that.
Well, everyone's walking in and I'm going in behind him and then he's like making this ruckus about his tickets. Like he drops his ticket.
You know, he's trying to create a distraction and I like sneak in sideways. And as I'm moving to the side, what do I run into? A security guard.
And he's like, ticket. And I'm like, he has my ticket.
And then this guy is just like counting them twice. He's like, one, two, three.
And then he's like putting behind four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. Yeah, sleight of hand.
And the security guard is like, you don't have enough tickets. And he's like, I thought I had seven.
I don't know what happened. And he's like, go.
He just says, go, right? And I'm like, oh, thank God. Yeah, this isn't the first time I've heard this.
Yeah, this isn't the first time. And it's not the last time.
Apparently, this happens a lot. We go.
We watch the game. Well, the thing that sucks about the game is that there's no alcohol served at the game at this time.
There's no booze served at the game. No, that's still i'm coming down i'm like fuck this like you know okay yeah i mean day drinking only works if you keep drinking yeah and they're playing like west kentucky tech you know what i'm saying it's a homecoming game it's an easy school it's 40 to zero by the time it's the first quarter is over so i'm like ah whatever halfway over halfway through the game i'm like i'm gonna go back to the and everybody agrees let's just go back to the car and we'll start drinking and by the way the stadium is half empty at this point like nobody's there to be everyone wants to get back to partying so we start drinking again and within an hour i picked up right where i left off my buzz is good and ding the light bulb goes off oh i gotta meet that girl at the bar so what do I do? I walk back to the bar and no fucking hairy shit is that girl there with her friends hanging out.
And she's like, you know, hanging out, drinking. I'm like standing there trying to get her to notice me.
Like clearly she'll remember me. She has no fucking, like she's not even paying attention.
She has no idea who I am. She's not doing the sticky eyes at all.

She's doing the dirty eyes.

Like, why is this guy staring at me?

And so finally I walk up and I go, hey, can I buy you a drink?

Remember me?

And she goes, oh, not really.

I was like, we met before the game.

You told me to meet you here.

And she's like, oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

Oh, yeah, I'll take a drink.

Drink. Two drinks.
Three drinks. Now I'm like 45 minutes in.
And at some point, however it happened, whichever it happened, I'm not even sure because I do not have this kind of game. I am not John Anthony.
I am not, you know, Adam the Liar. But all of the sudden we are kissing, like making out in the bar, kissing and making out out and then i realized i've been gone an hour and 15 minutes and my blackberry i've like missed like 12 text messages and phone calls because he's like i gotta go the kids gotta go to bed you know whatever so i'm like oh shit well listen i gotta go i'm sorry she's like oh no no no no let me give you my phone number and then call me and then you know next you know i live up in anderson or whatever she says, you She's like, oh, no, no, no, no.
Let me give you my phone number and then call me. And then, you know, next, you know, I live up in Anderson.
Or whatever she says, you know. I can come down to Atlanta.
Whatever. I'm like, oh, okay.
Give me. I'll put it in my phone.
Blah, blah, blah, blah. I don't wait an hour before I text this girl.
And what do I get? I get, this number doesn't exist. I get a total fuck you.
The number doesn't exist. It's a totally fake phone number.
It doesn't exist. There's nowhere for it to go.
Text messages just bounce. My black my BBMs just bounce.
That's it. BBM if you remember that.
The BBM just bounces and I am I am lost in it. So here's my point.
Staring at someone at a college bar is not a particularly like, I don't think it's an effective tactic, but then you don't even need it. You don't.
Just go to a college bar and hang out for long enough. And a lovely guy or girl, whatever your favor is, is going to find you because that's what you're doing.
You're all partying and having a good time, letting your hair hang out. It's the time of life when you just go and have fun and kiss strangers and drink and accept shots from people.
I mean, be smart about it, right? Be smart about it. Always get consent.
But have fun. Like, you don't need tips and tricks and hacks.
You just need to be yourself. You'll be okay unless you're a total asshole.
And I know a few of you know they're they'll yeah then you should change then you should change yeah then you need therapy skip the college bar go to the therapy yeah the hack is therapy yes but there is no hack to getting attracted to someone or someone getting attracted to you there is no hack it's a magic it's a magic formula that even the best of scientists nor the quantum witch can solve for you. There is no hack.
It's a magic formula that even the best of scientists, nor the quantum witch, can solve for you. You'll figure it out.
You just gotta put yourself out there. Go to the bar.
Grab a pack of cigarettes. Walk into the Mexican restaurant when you're on your way to grab a pack of cigarettes.
Put yourself out there. Start smoking cigarettes.
Drink lots of Bud Light. Jump the gate at the Clemson game, and, you know, be unscrupulous in general.
You will find your human being. They are out there.
There's plenty of us, and there's lots of them. I'm reading all these sad stories about this generation of kids that's growing up now, these 20-somethings and late teens.
They are the least laid. They are the least relationship involved.

They are the least optimistic that they'll ever have relationships that are meaningful,

like romantic relationships that are meaningful.

And that, to me, is very sad.

But I understand why. It's because you've never just put the screen down for a minute and walked into a bar and

gotten yourself into a little bit of good trouble.

You know what I mean?

Good trouble. That's okay.
That's what you, that's what those. Or find other interests, you know? Yeah, like drugs.
Drugs are perfect for your late teens and early 20s. Now put them down by your mid-20s or else, you know, then shit starts going sideways.
But that's, this is the time of your life. Go have the time of your life.

Get in trouble without getting arrested. That's the good kind of trouble.
Find a few strangers.

Make new friends. Have an adventurous night.
Do something that doesn't involve a screen and staying at home, wishing things were different. And I promise you, I promise you,

you may not get laid every time, but it eventually will happen if you want it to.

Take advice.

From Uncle Brian.

From Uncle Brian.

This public service announcement brought to you by Brian.

Good trouble.

Good trouble. I don't want to encourage anybody to get in actual trouble.
I just want them to get in the good kind of trouble. The kind of trouble where you end up making out with somebody at the bar.
What's wrong with that, Chrissy? What's wrong with that? Skinny dipping? Yeah. Skinny dipping is good trouble? You know, breaking onto the golf course at 3 in the morning and smoking a joint and laying a blanket down and giving each other mutual massages.
That's a good kind of trouble. Been there, done that.
Yeah. Find a massage friend.
I guarantee you're going to have some fun with that one. I used to have a massage friend.
That's what we called each other, massage friends. Is this who I think it is? What's that? Is this who I think it is? No, I don't think so.
I don't know who you're thinking about, but I don't think so. I don't think so.
I'm not going to say that. Find yourself an Eastern European angry friend.
You know what I'm saying? Find somebody. And you guys agree to just have the good kind of trouble.
An Eastern European angry friend. That's the good kind of trouble.
That's the good kind of trouble. Yes.
Just make sure you don't get on their bad side.

All right.

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No must, no fuss. Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for today.
I think so. I'll tell you that I love you.
And I love you. Best to you.

Best to you.

Best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Until next time, Chrissy and I will say, we do say and we must say, goodbye. I get ass.