Why 80% of Entrepreneurs Fail (And How You Can Win) | Dean Graziosi | EP 82

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Tony always says,

to get the rock, the most energy it takes to put a rocket in space is the first 10 feet did you know that to get that big heavy thing off once it's in space hits the button 10 000 miles an hour that's right but to get that rocket off so if you got to focus on a bigger future to get the rocket great but if you got to go to the dark side and say if i leave my life the way it is i'm going to get to the end of my life realize i missed it realize i left me on the table i never jumped in the game i missed the thing i want to do with my wife or my husband and my kids like feel that pain if you need to do whatever it takes to get the rocket to come off the ground and that that's like when people say No, you don't want to go to the dark side, screw that.

You got to whatever it takes to move into it.

You in the direction you need to do it.

So, what my one of my things is, yeah, change your story, change your life.

You've heard all that stuff.

Try a different approach.

Yeah, if you're focused, if you have a vision board of the car, the life, the dream, screw that.

If the vision board isn't working, put a picture of the person you don't want to become on it.

Put a picture of you at 90 years old in the wheelchair, and you know, you missed the whole damn thing.

Do whatever it takes.

Entrepreneur, DNA, family, welcome back to an incredible episode.

This is going to be one you're going to want to rewind, re-listen to, re-watch time and time again because I have a dear friend, someone who has changed the game for millions and millions and millions of people and continues to do just that multiple times.

New York Time bestseller, entrepreneur extraordinaire, and someone that all of you should be following and looking up to.

He's a genuine guy.

Dean Graciosi is here.

Good to be here, man.

Yeah, I'm excited about this one.

We, uh, it's funny because we've been playing in the Phoenix market together for, for for in my case 18 years for you you've been doing this now 30 years yeah and uh we've spoken on each other stages and you've keynoted a lot of the same stages but you have a big mission that i want everyone to understand because i'm in total alignment with the mission that you are on in this chapter of your life because it doesn't matter if you're my age your age or if you're 20 years old it's the same thing and it's about growth It's about your mindset.

Completely.

You know,

I have been doing this a long time.

And thanks for the invite.

And thanks for those watching, listening right now.

I know you got lots of other options.

I think you're really going to enjoy this time because I'm here to serve.

Yeah.

And after 30, I've been an entrepreneur for 40 years in this industry

for 30-ish.

I hope I figured out some stuff by then to avoid pitfalls for people and allow you to hit the gas in certain areas.

That's what I hope to achieve today, allow you to overcome the obstacles, go faster in the areas that you should.

But one of the things that, you know, there's a million great things we could talk about, but why is it that 80%

of all single entrepreneurs, meaning someone says, I'm done with this career or I never want the career, I'm doing my own thing, whether it's real estate or the self-education industry like Tony and I are in.

I've been in real estate for almost 40 years.

Yeah.

Literally almost, I bought my first deal 41 years ago.

I was just doing the math in my head.

But why is it that 80% fail?

after five years?

Did you know that number?

Yeah.

80%.

I thought it was even a shorter time, right?

Yeah.

So in the first year, 50%, but by year five, 80% are gone.

And I think that's a byproduct.

I think there's a couple of things.

One, I think we get programmed to have a career mindset, and it takes a little bit too long to get out of that.

So maybe we could touch on that today.

Number two, I think so many crazy entrepreneurs, most of your friends and family don't understand.

They think you're nuts.

You want to do this big, bold thing.

I think you're a little bit alone.

And when you're alone, sometimes you're trying to do it on your own and you forget to model proven practices.

And then secondly, you don't have the assistance to say, Hey, I'm stuck here.

What do I do on this pot?

Nobody in my family understands this.

How do I get the money?

Or how do I manage this?

Or how do I build a culture?

How do I make my first hire, my 20th hire?

What do I do with the extra money?

Do I reinvest it?

Do I reinvest it in my company?

Do I put it alongside?

Do I put it in the stock market?

Should I buy crypto?

Like all those things happen in this evolution, and I've experienced all of them.

So I'll let you, you know, your audience better than anyone.

And I'm here to serve.

So you could take that in any direction.

Because I think, let me just tell you, I think that 80% failure rate is just because they didn't have the guidance.

And I think we have the opportunity to absolutely crush that, especially where the world is going.

And especially right away, I'm going to make sure all of you are following Dean.

He's everywhere.

Again, follow him on Instagram and all the places because he's someone that you really genuinely look up to.

I think, and I don't think I'm pretty sure 100% you are the heir apparent to our guy, Tony Robbins.

I mean, you are just that much of an impact to so many people across the world.

So I thank you.

Thank you.

You said a word that is triggery for me.

Evolution, evolve, adaptation.

I've done this for 18 years in the real estate space.

I graduated UCLA in 2003.

And so I've only, I've never had a W-2 job ever,

which is unique, right?

That's a rare thing.

Right.

That is a rare thing.

That's really rare.

And I have a degree that I could have.

I just didn't.

Went straight into door-to-door sales.

From there, got into real estate.

Of course, at 2007, why not get into real estate in 2007, Dean?

It's a brilliant time to get in real estate.

Yeah, I remember his day as well.

But evolve, evolution, adaptation, iterations.

You said it yourself and we were talking offline about it.

Like the iterations of Dean are growing and will continue to grow, right?

You're talking about a 30-year career and even more in the real estate space, but like you're not done.

And I think a lot of the people need to understand your own philosophy.

Why is Dean not done?

I mean, you, in all intents and purposes, guys, I'm out.

It's been fun, right?

You absolutely could have done that 10 years ago if you wanted to.

But I don't know if that creates the best version of me for my wife or the best version of me for my kids.

Right.

I think we're put on this earth to grow.

I think we die when we stop growing.

I think I watch so many people retire and they don't know what to do with themselves.

They golf themselves to death and then they are looking for something else.

I even have friends that would exit for 100 million, 500 million.

I have a friend that exited for a billion dollars and thought, this is what I want.

And after three months, he's like, my family's not going to look up to me anymore.

And he's starting a new business right now because he's like, I want kids as a parent, you know, kids don't do what you tell them to do.

They become who you are, right?

We have to model the practices that we have to model who they want to be.

I mean, what I know about being married to the love of my life and being a dad is, but all of them have made me a better man because my actions determine who I am, not my words, right?

So with all that said, I think

I don't think the entrepreneur journey is about, let me do this so I can get out.

I think it's what ignites passion in front of me.

It allows us to, and we could talk about this, it allows us to overcome the resistance that most people allow to dictate their lives.

It allows us to make crap up in our head and then make it real and someday go, I dreamt about that taking a walk.

And I got goosebumps right now.

Yeah, I actually didn't.

Like, I was on a beach.

It wasn't even a beach I could afford to be on taking a walk.

And I thought, someday I'm going to flip a house a week or a house a month, or I'm going to, I'm going to own 30 doors, or I'm going to own commercial.

And if you had anybody near you, they'd be like, what are you talking about, Justin?

You just graduated for you're knocking on doors to make money.

Like, that's what I like at 50.

I'm going to be 57 this year.

Like

this phase of my life, I look back and realize that was the, the, the, the, the end, that was the real success.

The success is, yes, I could quit and live five more lifetimes.

And I'm working harder right now than ever before.

My partner and dearest friend in the world, Tony Robbins, working harder than ever before because we get to make an impact.

We get to give back and we get to stretch ourselves.

Like that is life.

I don't mean ignoring dance recitals and missing date night.

I'm not talking about that.

They are exclusive to each other.

But gosh, the opportunity to make stuff up and make it real, I think

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You know,

I believe in something that we have mutual friends that talk a lot about this, but there's kind of this four pillar or circle ecosystem, mind, body, connections, and business, right?

You are a shining example.

I mean, look at you.

You just gave your age away.

You didn't have to, but you look like you are younger than me.

No, I don't fuck that.

I mean, brother, at the end of the day, you'd care about your body because it's, in my opinion, it starts with the mind.

That belief system of

you know i'm not going to go attempt because so-and-so is going to be snickering about me or waiting for me to fail that's where it all starts and this is your brilliance in my opinion your brilliance is helping people out of that in my opinion you've done a lot in life and you've done

that's my goal but it is a genuine brilliance and and

so i want to kind of connect that within this episode because entrepreneurship

It's brutal.

I don't think there's a better way of saying it, but as brutal as it is, it gives you the highs of all highs that you will never get.

Yeah,

I want to push back on that for a second because it is brutal.

And you need to be resourceful once you get resources.

So we could talk about resourcefulness too.

I mean, my kids, if I could leave them money or resourcefulness, I would choose resourcefulness every day of the week.

I want my kids to be able to, in a burning building, out of money, relationship going wrong, they can find the resourcefulness to get out, to fix it, to thrive, right?

That's right.

Because resources alone, why do people who hit lotto lose it?

Why do trust fund kids end up derailing?

That's right.

They have resources, but no one taught them resourcefulness, right?

I want to tell you a story.

I don't think I've ever shared this publicly.

I've shared it in a small group of people.

As you, I've never worked for anybody in my life.

At 17, I

saw both my parents work really hard and have not much of anything.

I live in a trailer park as a kid.

And we all have our story, right?

Went to school some days without lunch money, right?

And told my friends I wasn't hungry, right?

Right, right.

But But I always had this, like, I'm doing my own thing.

I'm not going to be like, and my main reason, we all have a reason, and let's use that reason.

It could be the rocket fuel that gets the rocket off the ground.

It starts the momentum is I watched my mom work three jobs to make nothing.

She cleaned houses, she cut hair, and she painted houses.

She'd come home at nine o'clock every night.

My dad left when we were three, didn't really support her.

So she just hustled.

never complained, never said a word.

And all I remember,

I think I was seven thinking to myself, I'm going to retire her.

Like, you know, know, my sister was resourceful as heck.

She was four years older than me.

We come home, make dinner for her.

We'd do the laundry.

That's great.

Right.

And, and, you know, in it, I wasn't like, poor me.

I didn't know anything different.

It was just what we did for my mom because she was hustling.

So it was that desire for me to be successful.

I wanted to be wealthy at a young age so I could take care of my mom.

Just 100% retire my mom.

That's right.

Which I did at 24.

And I've been sending her a check.

every week since I was 24.

Congrats.

And she's still alive.

Thank you.

Thankfully.

That is.

And I got to do that.

Right.

Bought her the house that she wanted, bought my dad a house.

Like all those, I get to do those things.

Right.

But my point is,

when I was in high school, I was, I had a firewood business, and I was, so I would sell cords of wood, mostly to my teachers.

Great.

So, Mr.

Pagnata, when I was failing science, and I'd give him a discount on a cord of wood.

I just have to say I got a B plus.

I didn't get the A, but I got the B plus.

Mrs.

Minisi, I got a B plus.

And anyway, so I was cutting and selling firewood.

And I had, I would buy wrecked cars, fix them up and sell them.

How old are you with the firewood?

17.

Cars?

18.

Keep going.

I'm going to connect that.

19, my first house with no money down.

I flipped my first house at 19.

I didn't flip it.

I bought an old run-down mansion, like...

like destroyed.

So I'd work on cars during the day.

Yeah.

Right.

So I'm going to get to my point.

I promise you, I'll get to my point about entrepreneurship.

So I would would work on cars during the day when I was 19.

And then at night,

I'd go eat and I'd go to this old rundown.

It was an old big mansion in our town.

And every night I learned to be a plumber, a carpenter, a sheet rocker, a tile guy.

I did all of it back then.

And I had all my buddies.

my age helping me.

That's right.

And I remodeled this old place into nine apartments.

So I'd work on one while I lived in it.

As soon as it was ready, I would rent it and I'd move in another one that was half ready.

And I went through the whole house.

That's brilliant.

By the time I was by the time I was, and I was using the cars that I was flipping during the day to fund this.

And I mean, it was a shoestring budget.

But when I was done, it shifted my life because I had nine apartments.

I lived in one of them.

And back then, I made five grand a month net.

And then I put washer and dryers, and that made me another 800 bucks a month.

So I was at like $5,800 a month profit and I lived for free.

Talk about a foundation.

Unbelievable.

Right.

So it shifted my life.

Like all my friends, I was in the car business and the house business.

So I would buy a rec car.

So I'd be in a car for half price, and I didn't pay any rent or I didn't pay a mortgage.

And that gave me, then I took everything I made and I bought my next house and bought my next house.

And by the time I was, you know, 22, I think I had 30 apartments and I started fixing, or I started, uh, I bought raw land, subdivided, and started flipping houses.

But think about the confidence, not to keep to take you away, but like the confidence you built in yourself, your abilities, your resourcefulness to be able to flip cars, manually do the labor on this.

You're building certainty and confidence, which I believe.

And when you're in it, you don't know that.

Here's what I want to say: I got to say that grand description, but I didn't share all the suffering I did in silence or my father saying, hey, it takes money to do that stuff, kid.

You're going to lose everything.

My dad didn't talk to me for three months once because he told me I was biting off more than I could chew.

We don't come from that side of the tracks.

You didn't go to college.

We don't have money.

You got to accept that you're probably going to work for somebody.

Like that is, my friends thought I was crazy.

So here's the part I was getting to about entrepreneurship because

every level, level, if you want to write something down, write this down.

Every level has a new devil.

Every level has a new devil.

So

I told you the fun part.

I didn't tell you the part where I stayed up all night stressing, ran out of money, had to

apply for five credit cards at once so the banks wouldn't all see that I was doing it on my credit score.

And then as soon as I got all five, went to the bank one day and did $80,000, $90,000 in cash advances to finish real estate deals.

And then stress out of my mind that if I didn't pay it in 30 days, it's 22% interest.

And, you know, you can go down that road of what could be wrong.

And then you got to just, so all those invisible, the things we do in the invisible.

That's right.

You did, I, I, in the dark, I feel a connection to you, even though we've only, you know, we've hung out several times.

I know who you are.

I get to know you more and more.

But I have an affinity, an attraction to a friendship because I already know all the stuff that you had to do when no one is watching.

That's right.

I already know all the stuff you had to do at home, listening, wherever you are, when no one was watching.

So we already have, we're already kindred spirits before you start.

But here's what I'm going to say.

As I was doing this real estate stuff and making those moves of credit cards and borrowing money and hustling and all day at the collision shop, you know, the place where I'd fix my cars and all night laying tile and grouting and sheetrocking, a lot of my friends would come by like, hey, we're going out.

Let's do this.

And I still had fun.

Sure.

I'm like, dude, you're killing yourself for nothing.

Yeah.

You're working.

And I remember, and I'm not going to share his name.

But one of my dearest friends growing up, his parents and my parents were friends.

I knew him since I was four years old.

One of the sweetest humans you ever met in your life.

Like, if you met him, they'd love this guy.

Yeah.

And we were about 20 years old, and I'm hustling.

And his uncle was the head of a union in New York City.

We lived about an hour out of the city, an hour and a half out of the city.

And he said, Dean, all this craziness, my uncle is going to make me a shop steward in the city.

I'm going to make $1,400 a week.

You know, back then, you got to figure out how long this is, 1992, right?

I'm like, oh my gosh.

And he said, I'm going down there.

He said, I don't have to worry.

I don't have to risk.

I just take the train in every day.

And I'm set at 50 years old, Dean, I could retire and be done.

He's like, stop killing.

Why don't you just come down with me next week?

And I never went.

And I have to tell you, through the years, I always thought about that conversation of like, you know, as a career, you might think, oh, the guardrails are up.

It's safer.

But is it?

Is it, does it have its own devils?

And so the moral of the story is this.

I went down this path that looked like the adult crazy roller coaster.

I got this.

I got this.

Oh my God.

I'm never going to make it.

I'm going to fail.

My family thinks I'm crazy.

My cousins stop talking.

My girlfriend broke up with me because I'm a dreamer.

All these things.

And it seemed like we're just skimming along.

Yeah.

We were together

about a year ago in my little town where I grew up.

And you're still friends with him?

I am.

I see him.

I see him, but I love that so much.

You have no idea.

So in my little town I grew up in of 5,000 people, I bought a 20-acre farm.

So we have that's a pond and organic vegetables and apple trees.

And we go there in the summer, right?

So I hang out with him a couple months ago.

And he said something that really,

when you say entrepreneurship can be brutal.

But he said to me, hey, I used to think you were crazy.

He said, but I got to tell you something.

You were right.

I was wrong.

He said, ready for this one?

He said, I missed it.

I'm like, what do you mean you missed it?

He said, I got up before my kids woke up to get on the train to go to New York City.

And I got home, they were asleep.

He said, I missed all of it.

I reached from where I retired at 50.

They're off, they're off living on their own life.

He said, I missed it.

And when I think of brutal,

at the end of my life,

that's brutal.

That is the one that punches you in the face and says, why the hell didn't you break the norm?

Why didn't you step out of your comfort zone?

Why didn't you find a way to have resilience, to overcome hesitation, to overcome the resistance that, I mean, starting your own own thing,

you have to overcome resistance.

It doesn't seem normal.

It doesn't seem right.

But on the other side of that storm is the life worth living.

So I have been, and I'm not knocking anybody that has a career.

Thank God.

We have people that we employ that workforce.

I totally get it.

So if you're going to be employed, great, but still adopt this mindset of growth and overcoming resistance and persistence and resourcefulness, because then in the career you have, you'll be at the top of your skill.

You'll get paid the most.

You'll get the most promotions.

And just, you got to remember: everything has its own devils.

Every level has a new devil, but whatever path you do has it.

But you got to weigh the odds.

If I'm in control of my decision, if I get the opportunity to make my own decisions, that I can make my kids breakfast every day, that I can take them to school every day, that I can be there for dance recitals or softball practice, that means I get to control my calendar.

What is that worth?

Is that worth all those sleepless nights?

A thousand times over.

A hundred percent.

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you said something without saying it but the creation part i know you believe in this fully and so do i but even if you have a w-2 doesn't mean you can't be a creator absolutely i don't believe it's this either or world i think it's an and

and even if you have a w-2 and i don't don't care what the W-2.

And you do real estate on the side, or you build a course on the side, or you coach on the side.

Amazing.

I mean, literally, that is your sweet spot.

You can help someone today.

If you aren't following Dean, go to Dean.

He has an event.

Thrive is coming up, thrive.com.

Like, guys.

Thrive70.com.

Thrive70.

Thrive70.com.

But this is part of your genius, dude.

And I've been following you now for however long you've been putting out books, right?

Yeah.

I mean, you show people that it's not black and white.

It's not this or that.

It is an an and.

And if the and becomes your main thing, then lean into it.

But it doesn't have to be your main thing.

It's been my message.

Thank you for sharing.

It's been my message for 30 years.

I also say there's no such thing as a magical money machine.

You got to learn from people who have already forged a path.

That's right.

And you got to take uncomfortable action.

That's like, you want to know the ingredients?

There's no getting rich overnight.

Yeah.

Model-proven practices.

Take uncomfortable action.

You help people, you coach people for real estate.

Because you got 18 years.

Somebody could go figure figure it out in 18 years, or you can collapse almost two decades

into days by saying, no, no, no, don't do this.

Got to do that, but you still got to do the work.

So why don't people take, you've been in the coaching space and education and mastermind space for longer than me.

Why don't people

understand that and say that investment

to collapse time?

Here's what I'm going to say because I've been doing this long enough.

I want to tell you that it's becoming more and more eye-opening to people and go, wow.

And I think it's just, I think it's the way the culture prepared us.

It's like, no, you go to college, you go to high school, and then you go to college and you get a degree.

And the only people that can teach you that is a professor who's never actually done what it is they're teaching you to do.

Like, I'm not knocking professors.

There's some great ones out there.

There's great teachers out there.

Some teachers changed my life, but there's others that are teaching stuff that don't have their ass from a hole in the ground when it comes to actually put it into play.

That's right.

Right.

But that's what we've been programmed to do, right?

Did you know even degrees, Did you know that 76% of people who get a degree don't use it right now?

No kidding.

Yep.

And 55% of the people who use it don't like the job they're in.

Do that math.

Oh.

Right.

That's a tough life.

So what people are, people are, so you could just look at this industry.

We call it the self-education industry.

Tony and I, people learn from you.

They learn specific, specialized knowledge.

That's right.

Right.

Tony and I teach people in our, in our event that we're doing, we teach people how to unlock a life experience, an asset, a skill,

an expertise expertise they have and turn it into a course, a product, a program, just what you do.

We teach specialized knowledge.

We've been doing it collectively for 70 years.

We know how to do this thing.

You don't have to do the whole degree.

Just know the thing that you're doing.

You, real estate, know the thing to get deals done.

Right.

But I just think it's been such, it was the fringe for a long time.

You know what I tell people?

Again, in this almost 30 years, I mean coaching and creating books and courses and programs.

Tony, longer than me.

He's the only one I think in the space longer longer than me.

That's why I love the partnership we have.

But think about if you were at a dinner table 20 years ago

and you said to somebody, hey man, I'm trying to do real estate.

I got a coach.

The dinner party would be like, what do you mean you got a coach?

Yeah.

Like, are you on a sports team?

That's right.

Right.

Or I got a coach to help my marriage thrive.

Or I got a coach to be a better dad.

That's right.

Or I got a coach to be in better shape or eat healthier.

People are like, what the hell do you mean?

What do you mean, got a coach, right?

But I want to tell you, it's changing.

Be at dinner with a group of people right now and say you got a coach and somebody will say, Oh, me too.

I have one that's helping me through this.

I have one for helping me night train my children.

I have one to help me, right?

It's becoming more popular because people are realizing I can go back to college and get general knowledge.

I go really wide to learn a little bit of the thing I want to do for my life.

And I'm probably not going to use the degree.

Or I could take 18 years and figure out how to be a badass in real estate.

Or I could work with Justin and collapse time to cut him a check to gain

proven practices and be pushed to take uncomfortable action.

You, you put those, it's hard to fail when you're modeling somebody who's already done it.

Somebody already forged the path.

They knocked down the forest, they knocked down the trees, they have the map, and they're going to stand alongside and go, don't go that way, don't go that way.

No, no, no, straight, straight, you got this.

Like,

I mean,

the numbers prove it.

This industry used to be this big.

Absolutely.

When Tony and I

not first started in this industry eight years ago we decided to create a company called mastermind.com and share with everybody what we do in case you want to take your life experience and do what you do right not only do real estate but teach others how to get started yeah why should they struggle if you can have any vertical you can for anybody it does anybody every vertical right

We have people that are in real estate and then they come and say, but I've been doing yoga for 40 years.

I really want to teach on yoga.

And they blow up.

That's it.

Or we have this amazing woman.

She kills it in real estate.

You know what she's helping women do?

Get through menopause because she said it almost destroyed her whole life.

And she found a natural way to get through it.

Now she teaches women how to get through menopause like a badass.

Yeah, yeah.

How cool is that?

How cool is that?

Right.

So, just so you know, this industry was tiny.

When Tony and I, seven years ago, decided to create this company and teach people to do this.

So, you know, Jim Rohn changed Tony's life.

Tony changed my life.

Why don't we let everybody in on it?

That's right.

So, long story short, it was about a hundred million dollar a day industry.

Three years ago, it was a billion dollar a day industry.

And the latest report said by 2027, it'll be a trillion dollar a year industry.

No.

Because people are going, general knowledge, not for me.

Don't want to waste time through my own trial and error.

Who has done what I've already, who's already done what I want to do?

And how do I cut a check for speed?

So I don't think you could be better positioned to be in this industry, especially those.

I talked to us about John while we were walking up here, especially those that have a heart to serve, that want to not just sell, but want to absolutely deliver the shortcut to people.

Those that have a desire to impact others, find purpose for themselves, and can do the work to extract it.

I think it's probably the greatest thing on the planet.

I mean, I've done real estate and this.

I love both.

Yeah, I love real estate.

I'll never be out of real estate, but I'm more the heart to serve, right?

And that is.

Do you love when one of your students crushes a deal?

No.

Is there any better feeling you're doing?

There is no better.

I highlight it all the time.

I don't highlight my flips where I make 75 grand.

I highlight theirs because that's the proud moment.

That's the big brother, the father figure.

Like they did it.

I have a mutton and you'll appreciate the crap out of this.

I have a guy.

He has two full-time jobs, nine to five.

And then he goes and works at In N-Out at the night until two in the morning.

He has three children and a wife.

And he's done four deals since January in my community.

I love it.

The only reason is because he just does the thing I advise him to do.

To your point, proven model.

I've done it 18 years.

I just need you to do it and be uncomfortable so he finds time in the morning he finds time on the weekends he does what others aren't willing to and he gets the result others don't get right and you know that to be true I'm curious to hear your your answer to my four um

pillars to success I've asked every incredible entrepreneur this the first one is you have to decide what you want and who you need to be to get it that is the first pillar it's all one pillar decide what you want and I actually think there's a zero zero through five the first is you have to dream big enough to know what you are looking to do.

That dream has to be there, right?

But then you got to decide what you want, who you need to be to get there, right?

Number two, you got to take massive, you got to commit to it.

Number two is you got to commit.

Three, take massive action.

This is the uncomfortable part you talked about.

It is always uncomfortable.

New levels, new devils.

It's never familiar because you're at a new level.

It's going to be uncomfortable.

Right.

Number four is be uncomfortable.

And number five, this is where I really believe why you're such a great person for our space is because you echo this, and I know it to be true, is remove all your time expectations on the result you're trying to achieve.

Yeah.

If you do that,

you start to unfuck your mind about when you're going to get the money, how much, like all the things that you're kind of doing it for, you say, I'm going to go as fast and as long as I need to do.

to achieve the thing I need to achieve.

And you and I know this true, that goalpost keeps getting kicked down the field, right?

Oh, I love it, but no, I love.

Um, I don't want to get back to this, I love those five.

Um, Agmendino, I geek out on writers every once in a while.

I geek out on all his stuff, the world's greatest salesman, a bunch of great books, right?

Yeah,

and he in the world's greatest salesman, he writes about 10 scrolls to be the world's greatest salesman.

It really is 10 scrolls.

I make my kids read it, they read it like once a quarter, my older kids.

Um, but he's got a scroll in there: I will persist until I succeed.

It has nothing to do with I'll persist until the money comes in.

I'll persist until I get my first sale.

I'll persist until my friends and family believe in me.

It just, I'll persist until I succeed.

That's right.

There's no way not to succeed if you would put the word persist, right?

If you just keep going.

And in there, he said,

and he wrote this book probably 50 years ago.

He said,

how did we ever get to the point where we thought the prize was at the beginning of the journey?

It's at the end.

And he said, we don't know.

It's not our job to know.

I love this saying.

It's not our job to know how long the journey is.

And how he equated it is, we don't know how many corners.

I look at those corners as obstacles.

That's right.

We don't know how many corners we need to get around before our prize is there.

So you're working hard and you're like, there's the corner.

You get around it and you look, there's nothing.

And then you work again.

You're like, oh my God, I finally got around it.

And you go around the next one.

There's nothing.

And the way I look at it is some people might get blessed and have to go around two corners.

That's right.

Others might have to go around 20.

And we don't know.

I just equate that to I got to pay my success tax.

Like, I need to pay.

Maybe God, the universe, the success tax auditor is like, Dean, you're a troubled child.

I wasn't.

I'm just saying, like, you got 22 failures.

Number 23, your life changes.

And how many people give up 18?

14.

You got to persist until you succeed.

And one more thing about that fifth one, because I like it so much.

Yeah.

Is what if

you measured your accomplishments like Kaizen?

It's one little step at a time.

One little, like you listen to this whole podcast.

It's a pat on the back.

You read the next chapter.

You go to the coaching program.

If you want to learn what Tony and I are doing, register for the event.

Everything should be a micro win.

And if you look at micro wins, the most successful people I know, you know, Tony and I have a great group of humans we put together in a high-level mastermind.

No different.

But one common thread is measuring micro wins.

And the byproduct is you don't even know when the first sale comes.

Think about that.

Think if you're like, hey, listen, I'm getting a coach.

I'm going all in.

I'm taking uncomfortable action.

I'm not letting this old limiting belief stop me.

I'm not letting my sister, who tells me I'm a dreamer, talk me off my path.

I'm going to make that offer.

Oh, I got to get on a call.

Oh my God, I got to talk to somebody.

Or I got to go on camera or I got to film a course.

Oh, it's uncomfortable, but I'm doing it.

I'm doing it.

And all of a sudden, you're chipping away.

It's like, I made the call.

I filmed the course.

I did the thing.

I did that thing.

And then all of a sudden, one day, over here on the side, there's a sale made.

And then another, and another.

Imagine if your goal wasn't the thing, it was just becoming a better version of you, knocking down one hurdle at a time, and you won't even recognize

when your first success comes, next success comes.

You know how many people I've said, I didn't even realize I was a millionaire.

Like, I've met people who are like, I just had my head down, like, going.

I looked up one day.

I was like, I'm here.

And then, like, put my head back down.

Let's keep going.

Yeah.

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And that's the journey is

there's no, I mean, I love the new levels, new devils, because that has always been the case for me.

Every time I push harder, I go further, there's always like, wow, that's a big brick wall.

How the hell am I going to get around that?

And the thing that I believe that you've done, I've done so many others is we say, okay, but we're going to.

We're going to get around that brick wall, right?

And that level of consistency and persistence is what will create anybody.

I don't care if this is your first day of listening to this episode and you want to get into entrepreneurship.

If you're sitting here and you are trying to aspire to be an entrepreneur, this is your guy.

Thrivein70.com, free event, right?

That is happening.

You have masterminds.com.

I'll tell you real quick, and this is not not a

shameless plug.

It's thrive70.com.

Tony Robbins and I, once a year, we go live and for three days, about three hours a day, we just pull the curtain back on entrepreneurship, specifically in the lane.

If you were going to do it, you'd be doing on real estate.

That's right.

I taught real estate for 20 years, right?

Love it.

Still tell everybody to get in real estate.

Still love real estate.

Still buying deals.

I bought a lot of deals in the last two years.

There you go.

But what we're teaching in that

three days is why every single human being on the planet, when they've acquired knowledge in their skill that, you know, in their, in their career or a life experience that not, you know, they went through a divorce.

It was horrific.

Now they're on the other side.

Kids are thriving.

They're thriving.

X is thriving.

Like it doesn't matter.

We've all had a life experience, a career skill or a passion we have that is extremely valuable to someone else if you know how to package it because it condenses that time.

That's right.

So over three days, we're going to show people why every single one of you should consider being in the knowledge industry.

It might sound like a big word.

It really just means how to extract that asset of your life experience, how to package it.

Maybe you want to be a consultant.

Maybe you want to create a course.

Maybe you want to create a workshop, a mastermind.

Maybe you want to write a book.

We're going to show you how to extract it, identify it, and get some assistance through AI that thinks like Tony and I on how to create that and then how to market it and how to turn it into a business.

We do it once a year.

We have 800,000 to a million people register.

And I think we're moving the world.

I think we're, we're, I think we've created a mission.

I mean, I watched yours last year.

This is, guys, if you are aspiring or maybe you're in it and you're struggling and you need some of the secrets, 30 plus years, 40 years in the real estate space, like you two are the top of the pinnacle, right?

I say that with all humbleness.

You guys have achieved what every one of us in the education space or the product space want to be at.

And so

you two should be totally proud of yourselves.

I'm sure you are, but I want to make sure you know

how much we appreciate it.

So again, thank you.

Thank you.

And we do it for free once a year.

So I'd love for you to check it out.

It's definitely one of those things that if you miss it, you have no idea what you're missing.

And the last thing I'll say about it, the only thing I always tell people is pretend you paid a thousand bucks for it.

Cause a three-day event with Tony and myself, we got some amazing guests coming.

My friend Matthew McConaughey is coming because we turned.

I read his book, Green Lights.

I loved it so much.

We turned it into a course.

Then we did that big launch.

No kidding.

We had two and a half million people show up on that.

No kidding.

Yeah, it was insane.

What a great book, by the way.

Yeah.

Oh, I love that book.

So we, so he went down that journey.

He took his journaling of 30 years and turned it into a course.

And in one day, I think we had probably one of the best-selling courses in history that day.

That's wild.

Right.

Tens of thousands of courses sold in the first couple of hours and people went nuts over it.

My whole point is we got great people coming.

We're delivering great value and we're charging nothing because we want people.

You said before, Tony and I are insanely passionate about getting people who are dying to just grow, to live into who they're meant to be, not who they're settling to be.

So we do it free once a year.

And the only reason I'm saying that is because if you cut a check for 50 bucks, 500 or 5,000, you'd show up.

Sometimes we do free.

You're registering like, yeah, it was free.

Don't discredit it.

We go all in for these three days.

Yeah, you know, I always say people pay attention to what they pay for.

Yeah, true story.

And so I just, I would urge you, act like you spend a thousand, act like you spend 10,000, but show up every day and don't do the stereotypical like, oh, well, yeah, but I got to leave now because I got to go do this thing.

Yeah, it's only three hours a day.

Solve that thing for three hours.

You know, solve the issue so you can really pay attention to what they're going to be delivering.

Cause, you know, you two are great at so many levels, but I want to pour a little bit more into this mindset side.

Let's do it.

It is.

It is my newer passion because I realize my strength is people.

I think that we saw each other and you're like, God, Justin, there's that connect.

You are a server.

Like that is who I'm meant to be.

I told my grandmother, who was a teacher, then a principal, then a district manager, if you will.

She just, I told her when I was six years old, I was going to be a teacher.

Six, I knew it.

I knew it, Dean.

Now,

the form of structured in-school teaching versus what I'm able to do today on podcasts and in my coaching program, different, but I've always known I had the heart to serve.

And you two, you both do as well.

But part of what I want you to impact people today on this episode is helping them get out of their own way.

And I think that's just a mindset shift.

I think that's them realizing they can do this.

Because to me, what is their option?

What do they have the option to?

To exist, to be okay, to live in the struggle?

Or do they actually have the option to live a big, wonderful, powerful life?

You know, I think one of the,

if I was watching and things hadn't been going so well in my life or you tried something and it didn't work out, it might say, well, where you guys are now, it's easier.

And I don't say that like you're copying out.

Like that's the emotion I might feel, right?

Sure.

And I never want to, and that's something I see in your eyes and the way you talk about your clients and how

never lose what it felt like.

Was there ever a time in your career?

I know for a fact there was, but I want you to think about it.

Yeah.

Where you're like, I don't know if I'm going to make it.

I don't know if I can do this.

There's no doubt.

Right.

There's been two out of the gate I can answer right now.

And was it so bad that you thought to yourself, maybe it's time to go get a job?

I literally thought I should go be a bartender.

Yeah.

And

let's not talk about just in your, in your heart, the story you were telling you.

So how did that feel?

Did it feel

not desperate's not even word like, this is it?

Like, like, I guess I'm going to be like everybody else, or I guess I'm going to be on, I mean, I don't want to put words in your mouth.

How did that feel when you thought I should go bartend?

And this is very vulnerable of me to say it.

And I don't know if I've talked about it a lot.

So my biggest hurdle that I've gone to a lot of therapy of areas, am I good enough?

A lot of therapy.

My mom was an alcoholic.

My father was an alcoholic.

My stepfather was an alcoholic.

I essentially kind of raged myself through that.

Like I would show up at home.

My mom would be two o'clock in the afternoon.

She's passed on the kitchen floor.

My friend's like, What's wrong with your mom?

And I'm like, oh, well, right.

So I had to have that instinct.

And so my entire life is, am I good enough?

Because I didn't believe I was as a child, right?

So I've had to work through that.

So in those moments in business, where I immediately go back to, of course, you do.

I'm not good enough.

I couldn't do it.

I tried.

I gave it my all.

I fucking had it.

And then I don't.

And so, but, but here's, you know, I'll leave it there and I'll let you take over.

That would last one night for me.

Yeah.

So let me ask you something.

And this is where you get empathy and this is where you work harder to get everybody in, not just the A players, B players and C players.

You bring them along too.

What if you weren't designed in a way that it lasted one night?

What if it lasted 30 days?

That's right.

What if it lasted a year?

There are people watching right now that went through that and they're a year in, five years in, three months in.

Just different wiring doesn't make you bad, right?

So when I think through that lens, Justin, the reason I'm still at this, the reason I want to make my craft better, I think my events are getting better and better and better.

I don't want to live on last year's event.

I want to,

because I want to reach that person who's a year in thinking, yeah.

Dean, Justin, this is great listening to you today, but it's not for me.

I'm not sure.

I tried.

I couldn't get momentum.

The marketing couldn't start.

Nobody would listen to me.

What could I actually create?

I want you.

The A players are coming.

I already know that.

The A players are going to show up.

They're going all in.

I'm going to do it.

I got this.

But it doesn't mean you're a B player.

I shouldn't even say A players.

I should say people with a mindset where it only lasts a day.

Right.

If you, it doesn't mean you're like a B player is a bad thing.

It just means a different version.

I want to help you.

And so do you.

Like I know that about you.

Right.

So.

When you start thinking about that, like when they have this option, it's almost like you're thirsty.

Yeah.

And I have a glass of water and they don't reach for it.

It's like, what's wrong with you?

Just take the water.

It's like because of somebody else's mom and dad were alcoholics.

Yeah.

They took a different path.

Do you ever hear that saying the twins talk about one was homeless and on drugs and one was a millionaire?

And they say, they ask the one that's like, how come you're homeless and on drugs?

He's like, how could I not be?

My dad was an alcoholic who beat us.

And then they asked the twin brother who was a multi-millionaire and say, how did you become a multi-millionaire?

He says, how could I not?

My dad was an alcoholic and it eat us.

That's right.

I think it gives me service.

Yeah, because

you can't judge people.

One is the way that maybe they're wired.

It's a weight too heavy to carry.

And I believe that every single one of you watching has the opportunity to push that weight off to craft.

I don't want to oversimplify things you've heard a million times, but you can craft a new story.

You could focus on new things.

If how you're going about wanting to be successful doesn't work, shake it up.

That's right.

You know, some of us, some of us

can go to the inspirational side.

If I do this, I could be the best version of me.

I could take care of my children.

I could retire my mom.

I can make sure my wife is good.

I can make sure my kids are good.

I can live into it.

I can control my calendar.

I could set the date if I'm taking my kids to school.

Like for me, somebody to say to me, hey, I'm going to go to my daughter's dance recital.

I have these nightmares of someone saying, oh, no, no, it's a busy day.

You can't leave work today.

I would die first.

That's right.

Or maybe kill somebody.

Right.

So that passion drives me.

And maybe desiring and focusing on a bigger future drives you stronger than anything.

But sometimes, and I was on a podcast with my friend Tom Billieu and he said these words that I thought was so strong.

We were talking about, he said, but sometimes, and some people have to go to the dark side.

And you know what that means?

In your case, I'm just going to use you as a verbal.

You'd say, if I don't take this action, I'm going to become my mom and dad.

That's right.

I love my dad dearly, but my dad was the youngest of 12.

He was physically abused, sexually abused, old school Italian guy, didn't get help.

And he just, he had, he, he had anger his whole life.

He fought with everybody.

He had confrontational with everybody.

I had a bleeding ulcer at 10 because I was so scared he'd fight with everybody.

Yeah.

Right.

But I could either, I could either become him or I could use him as saying, if I don't take this uncomfortable action, if I don't go after that next deal, if I don't do this,

I might end up as him.

And that's a little bit of the dark side.

That's right.

Right.

And that's okay, Because I love when Tony Robbins, Tony always says,

to get the most energy it takes to put a rocket in space is the first 10 feet.

Did you know that?

To get that big, heavy thing off.

Once it's in space, it hits the button 10,000 miles an hour.

That's right.

But to get that rocket off.

So if you got to focus on a bigger future to get the rocket, great.

But if you got to go to the dark side and say, if I leave my life the way it is, I'm going to get to the end of my life, realize I missed it, realize I left me on the table.

I never jumped in the game.

I missed the thing I want to do with my wife or my husband and my kids.

Like, feel that pain if you need to.

Do whatever it takes to get the rocket to come off the ground.

And that, that's like when people say, no, you don't want to go to the dark side, screw that.

Whatever it takes to

you in the direction you need to.

So what my, one of my things is, yeah, change your story, change your life.

You've heard all that stuff.

Try a different approach.

If you're focused, if you have a vision board of the car, the life, the dream, screw that.

If the vision board isn't working, put a picture of the person you don't want to become on it.

Put a picture of you at 90 years old in the wheelchair and you know you missed the whole damn thing.

Do whatever it takes.

Dude, you're giving me shivers right now.

This is gospel, people.

Gospel.

I rate, so I journal every morning.

And part of that is to make sure I keep a frame of gratefulness because you reframed right now when I said being an entrepreneur can be brutal.

It can be really challenging.

And you said, you know what's brutal?

Missing your kids every morning and every night.

Right.

And I, by the way, I fully agree.

Different, you know, I kind of reshape the frame of what I say.

But

my first mentor, and I've paid for coaching and mad just like you have forever.

Yep,

was my mom

for exactly what you're saying.

She taught me exactly who I didn't want to be when I grew up.

Yeah, absolutely.

She loved me.

She never physically abused me.

She just chose alcohol over me.

At some point, it wasn't even a choice.

It was just she had to, right?

But she died early.

She made it very aware that that was of precedence.

Like she couldn't pick me up from baseball practice because she was too drunk at the the bar to drive right stuff like that so

that was my first mentor that was my first coach you know can i can do you mind if i share something with you i'm sure you've forgiven your mom of course 100

um

because that's a tax you will carry forever and you will never be able to start a new relationship so i um

i thought i forgave my dad

so my dad i i shared this with you and maybe one just one person needs to hear this sorry i'm going to digress but i know there's somebody watching listening right now that needs to hear this one thing and i'm going to use you as an example.

So my dad, his brothers and sisters didn't talk to him.

He didn't talk to his dad when he died.

My dad is married four times.

He doesn't talk to any of his exes.

And I have a sister that's four years older than me, and they haven't talked in 20 years.

And I forgave my dad completely, or so I thought,

till, so Tony and I have been friends for about 12 years.

And about 10 years ago, he calls me, he said, hey, come to date with Destiny.

I'm like, I'm right in the middle.

She goes, please come to this one.

Right.

and i think everybody should go to a unleash the power within or a date with destiny once in their life 100 and he's not going to be doing it forever

yep so i'd suggest everybody go yeah so i'm at date with destiny and uh it's crazy it's like 12 hour days for six days it's intense you been no i've been on unleashed power within still a lot i mean still

that times too right

so

it's funny i'm gonna digress here he was so

Our friendship had been building for two years.

We had not done business the other year.

We decided not to do business business at the time because our friendship was growing so well.

It's like, why cloud it with business?

I'm doing good.

You're doing good.

Yeah.

Let's just be friends, help each other where we can.

Long story short, I um,

you don't leave.

Tony's on safe.

I run out to grab some food and he must have had his phone behind the podium.

And he freaking texted.

There's 8,000 people in the U.S.

He goes, get your ass back here.

I'm like, oh, I scarfed down my food.

And I run back.

I'm like, what the hell are you doing?

You're texting like in your pocket.

Anyway, I tell it story.

Tony does these incredible interventions.

Yeah.

So I'm going to tell you this.

And

if you don't need it, someone else does.

So Tony, this woman stands up.

He's going through this shifting, shifting your core values and shifting who you are.

And this woman stands up and he says, so what are you working on?

She said,

I'm still trying to get over what my dad did to me.

And this woman's dressed to the nines.

She's sitting with her husband, two older kids, beautiful family.

So he says, tell me what's up.

So she says, my dad, Italian guy,

I just, I remember the story so intimately.

I was standing on a chair watching the whole thing.

And she said, he wanted a boy and he got a girl.

And during pregnancy, my mom had emergency surgery, had to get a hysterectomy so he could never have any other kids.

And I think he blamed me my whole life that I made it so he couldn't have another boy.

He was a swimmer, wanted me to be a swimmer.

Said I worked my tail off.

I made it to the state championship.

I got second place.

And when I looked up, he was gone.

I had to walk home five miles because

I disappointed him.

So she's telling this thing and you can see the pain in her face.

God, yeah.

Right?

Heavy pain.

So Tony, he's just so magical at it.

And we do interventions at our events too that hopefully you're joining us when, but Tony's so magical.

So he's sitting there and he said, so, uh, yeah, I could see that.

And I knew he's, I know what's coming because he's like my friend.

You know, I could see that.

And he said, so, um, how about did he, was he successful financially?

He said, no, he was always broke.

Was he nice to your mom?

No.

Never told her or me that he loved us.

So he goes, Yeah, he goes, You followed in his footsteps, didn't you?

No business, money type for you.

She goes, I started my own business at 19.

I'm beyond success.

And she talks about it and you can tell and you can feel her presence.

And he goes, Yeah, don't tell your kids you love them.

Don't have a good relationship.

She goes, and she's rubbing her husband's head.

She goes, I love this man.

Like, I could cry thinking about it.

And about your kids, I tell them I love them every day.

They're empowered kids.

They pat their mom on the back.

And he goes through all these things.

And he said,

and here's what you're going to do today.

You're going to pick up the phone.

Your dad's still alive.

Yeah.

You're going to call him and you're going to tell him you blame him.

You blame him that you become the woman you are, that you have a successful career.

You have your own business.

You have a successful, I have goosebumps.

You have a successful marriage.

You're a successful mom.

If God didn't give you that father, you wouldn't be the woman you are today.

So if you're going to blame him for leaving you at that, at that tournament, you better pick up the phone and blame blame him for everything he did because you're amazing.

I watched 10 years fall off her face.

They actually put a picture up.

They put a picture up of before her interview when she was talking about being left and a picture.

Now, just I'm not exaggerating.

She looked 10 years younger.

A thousand pounds fell off her.

And that's just an example of what we can do.

Like we can change our past.

The perception of our past could change in this very moment.

When people say, no, but it's a reality, I'm like, okay,

two people get in a car accident.

What's the reality?

One person says, I can't believe you wrecked my car.

My insurance is going to go up.

The paint's never going to match.

This was the car in my dreams.

You ruined it.

Someone else gets out and goes, it's tin and metal.

I have insurance.

You okay?

Cool.

What's the reality?

The reality is that two cars hit.

Yeah.

Our perception is our reality.

She had a perception till 45 years old or 50, however what she was, that her dad was to blame for all that went wrong.

In a moment, she realized that God gave her that dad so she could be this woman.

50 years of stress just fell off her place.

She changed her past.

And all of us have that option.

Dean, I appreciate you.

Thanks, Barry.

I really do.

I own, we have to leave it there, dude.

Because I could keep going with you right now.

Guys, you can see who this guy is.

He is as genuine as it gets.

If you have any desire to win, to live a bigger life, to have more money, more freedom, more time, more.

This is your guy.

Oh, thank you.

Thrive70.com.

Yep.

Thrive70.

It is free.

Act like you just mortgaged your house to get there because it would be worth it.

You should probably because he and Tony are worth it.

This has been incredible doing.

Oh, thanks, man.

I enjoyed it.

It's good seeing you again.

Yeah, it was great seeing you.

Mastermind.com.

I mean, you can find this guy everywhere.

Get his books.

I mean, literally two or three national bestsellers.

They're all incredible.

I appreciate everything you do for us in this world and excited to do this again probably next year.

Thanks, man.

All right.

If this helped you guys, even a little bit, make sure you share this with two people.

Make sure you follow Dean Graciosi.

We'll see you on the next episode.

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