Ep.#463 - Until Dawn, with Hallie Haglund

On this episode we discuss Until Dawn an odd conclusion to Richard Linklater's Before trilogy.

Hey, everyone.

Welcome to the Flop House.

I'm Dan McCoy.

Oh, hey, that's Dan McCoy, and this is Stuart Wellington.

I'm looking at Dan McCoy and Stuart Wellington, and I like what I see.

My name is Elliot Kalin, and today we're joined by a very special guest.

You might even call her the star of the show.

Coming at you hot, this is Hallie Hagland.

Oh, wow, wow.

Too hot.

Yeah, she's, have you been moonlighting as a Shock Shock radio dancer?

Boo, boo, bur, bur, bur, burr, bur,

they call her the human soundboard, Hallie Hangland.

You straightened your shirt, and I thought you were like, yeah, I'm wearing this Neil Young shirt where all shock jocks wear.

Yeah.

It does have a megaphone on it.

That feels kind of shock jock-y.

There are a lot of shock jocks who are searching for a heart of gold.

Yeah.

Well, we're all back in our respective coasts.

Of course, I was just out there seeing...

Elliot briefly and Hallie briefly as well.

But now there's two folks on each coast.

It's all balanced out.

Well, finally, the American continent won't flip over anymore.

Yeah, now, guys, real quick, let's be real for a second.

Dan, cover your ears.

Was Dan a good guest or was he a real pain in the ass?

No, Dan was a great guest.

He rolled with some scheduling mishaps that were my fault, and he did a great job with it.

Very unlike him.

And I felt like he's shown a lot of maturity and development.

He was very good with my younger son.

He drew Italian brain rot after Italian brain rot at my son's request.

So Dan was a great, good guest.

Yeah.

Oh, thank you.

I was listening.

I didn't follow your instructions.

You didn't put your hands over the headphones that are on your ears right now.

Oh, yeah, I tried to do anything.

I don't know the headphones.

It's possible.

Yeah.

Yeah, because Dan is a flat Stanley.

He's got very thin fingers.

Yeah.

Flat Danley.

Thank you.

This is, of course, Shocktober.

We're doing our second.

Oh, yeah.

Sorry to shock you.

Yeah.

I've installed Tingler things in your little seats.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And we did, of course, we did Imaginary last week.

And of course,

here's where my head is at.

Here's where my head is at.

I forgot we did Imaginary.

So I kept being like, am I watching the right movie?

Did I get it wrong?

What's going on?

Did I, oh, wait.

And I had to keep looking up our schedule that we have internally and be like, oh, yeah, Imaginary.

Oh, yeah, that's a movie.

Why?

So what are we watching now?

So I, so yeah, like you were in some kind of weird like time loop.

Exactly.

Exactly.

And that's scarier than any of the movies we watched.

I texted Hallie with the option of watching either Imaginary or Until Dawn, and she was like, people would expect me to do Imaginary.

So I think I'm going to pick Until Dawn.

Well, did I make a bad choice?

Was Imaginary?

What did you guys think of Imaginary?

Bad.

I mean, neither of these are, I mean, they're on the Flophouse, both of them.

So there is no.

So what does that tell you?

I feel like the last few movies I've watched for The Flop House have been.

I mean, you watched the Italian Mafia Mama, right?

Exactly.

That's true.

The last one I watched was, oh, the

monkey one.

That was so good.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Solid Man.

What's it called?

Real Man?

Rock and Roll Man.

The

Robbie Rollins.

Better Man.

Better Man, yeah.

I'm not gonna.

The best movie is.

I went to a video store and I asked for it because I like to watch things on physical media and I go, Can you get me a copy of Better Man?

And they looked and looked, and they can't find a better man.

Wow, it's still paying dividends there.

No, I would say I don't want to tip my hand too much about where we're going with this.

I won't say any more than this, but I definitely enjoyed this more than I did.

It's imaginary for sure.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Do we want to get in on this piece?

It's rare that we get to watch a movie where this many people explode during the movie.

Yeah.

True.

Some multiple times.

High on the explodometer.

Yeah.

Explodometer.

Guys, I just, before we get into this,

we got to address the elephant in the room.

And that elephant

the fact that this

is a movie based on a video game.

It's a video game.

And the PlayStation Studios logo at the beginning.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You fucking found all the clues.

They're right there for you.

Mr.

Policeman, Sony at PlayStation, told us everything we needed to know.

Yeah.

No, I'm assuming, Hallie, the reason we watch this is because you were a big fan of the video game.

Is that true?

Huge, huge Until Dawn had.

now until dawn is a is like a semi uh like fmv game where you just like wander around exploring and there's occasional moments where you have to do like little uh you have to like hit a button at the right time or something rips your head off jump over something yeah well not there's very little jumping it's like a not an action game it's more like a weird movie exploring game collect coins any coins collect

coins you had to throw at the slasher to be like can i pay you off

and this is a video game that is like, it basically is a re it's attempting to recreate the feel of like watching a horror movie, but you get to make all the calls.

Yeah.

Um, and it had a uh, it had a bunch of-calls are coming from inside the you.

And the uh, yeah, that's that was that was our initial tagline.

It didn't work for some reason.

No, people were like, there's a killer with a phone in my tummy.

Yeah, uh, that's how I feel sometimes.

Now,

that sounds like a giallo.

There's a killer with a phone in my tummy.

I mean, that's a great title.

Baby's first giallo.

And the video game has a cast of

teens involved in a murder thing.

And

those characters are voiced, and the characters resemble the actors that play them, including Hayden Panet.

tear Panaterairi

and Rami Malik.

I think this is what actually

got him his Academy Award, not Bohemia City.

Oh, wow.

And of course, peter stromere who in the uh in the game is kind of like a uh is kind of like a crypt keeper type figure who's like narrating things and kind of uh doing like like little chapter heads uh and he's kind of playing the same role that he ends up playing this movie spoiler alert but he's less of an antagonist he's just you know there and i think that of the current working actors peter stromere is a pretty good choice for like a like a human cryptkeeper unexpectedly this is one of the few semi-recent i mean it's like a decade old now but like they did a remaster of it, like a semi-recent game that I actually have some experience of.

Yeah.

And

it's a weird thing.

Because we haven't made like a leisure suit Larry in a while.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But like this got a lot of, I think,

shit from people who played the game because it introduces this like.

Time loop element that has nothing to do with

a game.

It's not a game at all.

But the thing is, like, I understand like why they made that choice because as Stuart said, the game is just an attempt to be like, can we make a slasher movie as a game and like have that be the experience?

And if you transform.

form it back into a movie it's just like well okay it's just a slasher movie yeah like i understand why they it's like watching somebody do a playthrough of this

can we do a movie that's like a slasher movie you can yes they've made many of them yeah like whereas this like kind of is like i guess they're going off the conceptual idea of like like a video game you can reset you know you go back to a different point you can try something else to see if your choices are better But after a while, you turn into a weird monster.

Yeah, just like in a video game, you turn into a Wendigo.

You turn into an incel.

Their depiction of Wendigos, I felt like, was a little loose.

Yeah, they're ghouls.

The Wendigo, for those who don't know, is a First Nation monster that a hunger spirit.

A hunger spirit to heal.

It has something to do with cannibalism.

Yeah, you turn into one if you eat another person sometimes.

Why do you say First Nation?

What's First Nation?

Well, like Native American, Indigenous Canadian.

Oh, that's what I thought.

But then I was like, that couldn't be what he's talking about.

No, that's exactly what it is.

Oh, okay.

Allie, the Indigenous peoples, the Americas, have a rich folklore of monsters.

I believe, I know that, but I just didn't know that Dan was so well-versed.

Dan's a big fan of the BPRD and the issues with the Wendigo character.

Oh, those are great issues.

But Dan, I'm usher also mostly knows the Wendigo from his appearances in Marvel Comics where

he was there when Wolverine first appeared.

And he just says his name a lot, right?

He does.

He always goes, Wendigo, as if he's always introducing himself.

He's like a Pokemon character.

Yeah, yeah.

And you got to catch them all.

Yeah.

Because they'll eat you if you don't.

Just like Pikachu.

But don't eat that.

What do you think Pikachu is?

Pikachuing.

Human flesh.

And how about let us go on with a summary?

So we have a

you're right, Stu.

The minute the mic turned on, your hangover disappeared.

I'll allow it.

Only good stuff.

Okay, so this is a modern horror movie.

So you know this bitch starts with a cold open.

Always.

We have a young woman covered in dirt, climbing through some tunnels.

This is Melanie, and she is running from some flesh-eating ghouls.

She claws her way out of this tunnel grave type thing.

It feels a lot like we're watching The Descent in this one.

Yeah, yeah.

There's going to be a lot of things in this movie that are going to remind you of other better movies.

Yeah.

So she claws her way out of the dirt

only to be confronted with a masked slasher character And before she needs to be.

She hooks her butt a lot more than she needs to, also.

Did you notice when she's climbing out?

Well, what is need?

That's the thing.

Slowing her down.

And I think it's.

So you're like, less shimmying.

Less shimmying than you're trying to get away.

Yeah, like she's stunting on those ghouls.

She's like, look, you can't catch me.

You could have all this, but you go it.

Yeah, but you're going to be.

I got to get away from these ghouls.

Torch, torch, torch, torch.

Got to get away.

So she's confronted by this mass killer, and before he kills her, she says, like, please don't kill me again.

And you're like, what again?

Okay,

cut to like a year later, I think.

We have five friends who are trying to track down.

Did you think as I did?

Sorry that I'm interrupting right away.

That like...

That their apartment was huge.

Yes, Dan.

It was a huge apartment in New York City.

How could they afford it on their salary?

Impossible, but it's TV.

Come on, it was a mistake to make all of the people.

They always get the same table at the coffee place, and it's clearly the most desirable table because it's where the couches are.

What do they have someone staking out that table at all times?

It's a TV show.

It's okay.

So it's a slasher, so all the characters are going to be somewhat interchangeable in the first place.

And they made all of these characters brunette.

Like, I like the most different is one of them is Asian.

I think from her name that she's Korean, but like, that's it.

Like, it was too similar in terms of like one of them had Asian.

I mean, there's only, yeah, there's only two other girls.

So you just wanted

to do that.

It was impossible for you to keep track of the difference between these two girls with brown hair.

I'm not saying it was like I couldn't do it.

I'm saying that like I know that like when you're casting these things, like a good rule of thumb is like, let's get a variety of people in here.

And you got a fighter, a cleric, a rogue.

Yeah, Ranger.

This was not an issue for me.

No, I think, Dan, what helped me with telling them apart was they all had different faces.

Yeah.

They did, yeah.

And characters.

I could fucking tell them apart, but I know people who have quite trouble with this.

And, like, I guarantee you that the sort of person who has trouble with this would have a lot of trouble with this.

Dan's really into old-time radio, so he likes to watch his TV with his eyes closed.

Uh-huh.

Well,

that's a case where

I'm a very distinctive voice.

You can have objections.

No, no, no, due to overwhelming pushback.

One of them reminded me a lot of Pamela Adlon, which makes sense because it was Pamela Adlon's daughter.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay, so

speaking of these five friends,

sorry.

We have Clover, who is the one missing a sister.

We have Nina, who is her friend who has, I don't know, like a rocky history of relationships.

We have Nina's newest boyfriend, Abe, who is tall and drives.

I thought it was very funny his name was Abe.

Not a name I associate with like tall, handsome guys other than the original.

the tallest and the handsomest, Abraham Lincoln.

Yeah, Abe Sapien, the tall, handsome fish man.

But it's just every time they'd be like, Abe, where's Abe?

And I'm like, I kept imagining an old man, you know.

We have Max and we have Megan.

Megan is psychic.

Can I just say there's a part in here where they make a point of how

Nina always breaks up with the boyfriends after like three months or whatever.

And I thought...

Danny said, I can fix her.

No, I thought this movie was going to, knowing that there was a time loop, I thought they were going to make hay out of like the fact that she was now stuck with this dude and there was no payoff for that at all.

Like, I felt that was a setup without a punchline.

Just characters.

Just character texture, you know?

I have a question.

How old do you guys think these people were supposed to be?

Like 30.

Really?

I mean, they could be.

It was like they could be 18 or 30.

I had no idea.

They were all like 23, maybe 22.

I don't know.

Like, fresh out of college?

Fresh out of college, exactly.

Or Compton.

I guess.

At the box.

I mean, I think they're in the, they're again, not diverse enough to be fresh out of Compton.

No, well, they're exchange students, I guess, in Compton High.

But

I assumed that these were all kids who were fresh out of college, exactly.

But you're right, it could be there's a part a flashback to Clover and her sister, who they're looking for, we'll find out, arguing.

And it's like

they're in a house.

It's like, do they own this house?

Have they just inherited it?

Are they just visiting squatting and high school?

I'm sort of looking over a Clover, but a Clover looking for someone else?

I got the audience back.

Yeah, Yeah, thank you.

I got them back with a surplus.

Now you can say a couple of racist things.

It will still be on your side.

That's how good that was.

I wouldn't, though.

Okay, so they are on a road trip trying to track down Clover's missing sister, Melanie, who we would remember from moments ago in the cold open.

They stop at a girl.

Cold open Melanie, they call her.

They stop at a rural gas station

where they have a brief, we get a little bit of character background and we have a brief interaction with gas station attendant Peter Stromaire, which I don't know about you guys.

I'd be like, I'm leaving.

Yes.

It is real Texas Chainsaw Massacre roadside barbecue vibes here where it's like, you know, this guy's bad news.

You should get out of this place.

You know, and spoiler alert, he will come back later and he is the antagonist of the movie.

Peter Stormer?

Yep.

Well, his character is

like something hill or something.

It is very funny to have a guy with an accent as thick as his attempting to be just a roadside guy on an American rural highway.

I also like his hair cut a lot.

It's really cool.

Yeah.

So, and he gives them a lead that there's a nearby, there's a nearby town or area called Glore Valley where there's a lot of missing, there's been a lot of missing people.

Glore Valley, it feels to me like a, it sounds to me like a place that orcs would live.

You know, well, I, I, I wrote it down in my notes for my next RPG campaign.

Before the time loop was explained, I was worried that the twist was like going to be that they were like literally in a video game called Return to Gore Valley or something like that.

And, but it wasn't.

That's the kind of idea that is both too clever and too stupid.

Yeah.

That's what I specialize in.

Okay, so they, while they're trying to find Glore Valley, they get caught in this crazy rainstorm and they're, they want to turn back, but then they find a very odd pocket of area, I guess, a land where there is no rain at all.

It's like the guy.

James Bond's villain Odd Pocket

pulls weapons out of his pocket.

He throws like

lint and stuff.

You know, whatever's in the pocket.

Yeah, exactly.

Here's a thimble.

In my case, anything is a weapon.

Pulls the gun out of his pocket.

Well, but that is a weapon.

Hold on a second.

But Odd Pocket can turn anything into a weapon, pulls a knife out of his pocket.

Again, anyone could use that as a weapon.

Pocket's not seeming that odd today, Odd Pocket.

It's like, I just have one.

I just have one.

I just have the one pocket.

I sewed the other one shut, but my hand was still in it, so I can't fight with that hand.

Like a kangaroo.

Yeah,

kangaroos do pull weapons out of their pockets.

So there, as I said, they find the one odd pocket of clear, uh, clear air.

Um, and in this little like glade, I guess, there is a Glorglade, yeah.

Yep, there's a visitor center.

There is a visitor center for Glory Valley, and that is it.

It's otherwise an empty area.

So, they, of course, park that car.

Uh, they don't want to go back out in that rainstorm, and they begin exploring, finding all kinds of odd things in this visitor center.

I want to give a little backstory here for a second for the listener.

Now, of course, our friend Stephen Kostansky has

a movie out, uh, Death Soccer, and Stuart was honored to be the

moderator for a QA uh last night.

I believe you're doing one again tonight.

Uh-huh.

Yep.

Uh, and, you know, afterwards, went out with Steven, had a few drinks.

And so now the until dawn style challenge that Stuart has to get through is to be the person doing the summary with a hangover while we all interrupt over and over again.

At this point, I'm just like water.

I'm like, whatever, just go along with it, baby.

Now, if you were, if you were these people and you were in a visitor center like this, would you be suspicious as soon as you saw the wall-mounted hourglass with a skull on it, or would you say, I'm going to continue to explore after continue to explore?

Okay, I've played a lot of these video games.

The first thing I do, find the bathroom to make sure it works because

they were just driving, it was rainy.

You know, you got to drive.

No, but I was just imagining in a video game, do you need to find the bathroom?

That's

but that bathroom, once they get in there, it's very dangerous to be in there.

You don't want contact with that water, as we'll get to.

Yeah, but

they check the what else?

They check the ledger, and we're going to go to the bottom.

Yeah, there's a ledger.

Yeah, here are the mysterious items.

There's this mysterious clock with a journey to the mysterious items.

There's a there's the like guest book ledger that people sign in that is filled with the same names over and over that get crazier and crazier as they like this.

Looser and more haphazard straw.

That's a detail I liked.

Like in a, like, certainly in a better horror movie, I would like it a lot, like where it's the same name being signed in again and again, but it deteriorates over time.

And then, of course, there's a big punch board filled with missing person things that I think doesn't have any other information other than it says missing and they're pictures.

And a picture.

So this is,

once it was made clear, this is kind of like a semi-supernatural thing, I was like, okay, that's fine.

But then

seeing them again, seeing them for the first time, I was like, what kind of missing posters are these?

Like, literally, yeah, there's no contact information.

There's no name.

So all it's telling you is this.

This is a reward.

No, this face is missing.

Do what you will with that information, you know.

But it's because it's all supernatural.

You know, it's just scary spooky.

What I do think was a good scene when she go, when Megan gets

pretty close to here, when she gets taken over by whatever spirit, and then she goes in front of the board and she's pointing at each of the missing.

That was great.

Yeah, and she's doing their voices.

She was that she should, she might win an Oscar, Oscar page.

Yeah, yeah, you heard it here, folks.

If Hallie gets it, she wins the whole Oscar pool.

All right.

So they explore a little bit.

Obviously, they're all confused and they're like trying to get piece together what's going on.

They find that there's a basement area that is actually feels more like a ground floor because there's windows down there.

And it's fully furnished.

It's beautiful.

What happened to rent?

Unfortunately, there's already

an unwanted guest, and that is the masked maniac who begins chopping them all up.

And there's some good, I don't know, how do you feel about it?

I thought there's a bit where Max tries to smash the maniac over the back with a chair, and then the maniac stabs him through the eyeball with a chair leg or something, and his eye pops out.

And I thought that was a cool bit.

What do you think, Dan?

Yeah, you know, I mean, like, there's this is,

you know, for what could be,

you know, as a sort of teen

horror movie, it could be the sort of like PG-13 slop that we got for a long time.

There's a lot of fun, weird gore that happens in this movie.

And I also think that if I had watched into this movie not knowing anything about it,

it would have been sort of shocking to me, I think, to some degree that like it's like, oh, we're going on a speed run.

It's killing off all of the characters.

Yeah, all the characters are now.

Wait, though,

I had an issue with this part because

in the first attack, the monster seems like impervious to violence.

They keep trying to kill him and nothing kills him.

And then that you think that that's going to be like a defining detail of these monsters as you continue, but then they can totally kill them later.

I don't understand.

Yeah, it's, it's weird.

I think there's, there's some kind of an element where as we'll later find out that everything is kind of born out of her specific fears or phobias, that the idea of like an unstoppable monster is one of them, but as they become more used to it, it becomes less, it has less power over them, I think.

Yeah,

that would be my guess, too.

That once they, once they stop being as afraid, because

the thing I had with this was,

yeah, these bad guys, this happens in horror movies, though, I feel like, where as the movie gets on, the bad guy becomes less impervious, just because like the movie's got to end at some point.

But especially the characters are, they become less afraid over time, which is understandable because

once you know that you're going to get killed a bunch of times, I feel like getting killed becomes less scary.

Yeah.

Right.

Well, and that idea,

the idea of like this being like, as you say, Stuart, a reflection of her fears, like that idea comes so late in the movie that I'm of two minds of like, like the rest of the movie seemed like there's such a mishmash of stuff.

Like it was like, I couldn't get scared by any of it because it felt like a haunted house.

Like, we're going to throw everything at you.

We got this kind of monster and this one.

The witch?

What the fuck would the witch do with anything?

Spoiler, this is something I like about the movie.

Is they're like,

has it been in a horror movie before?

Sure, throw it into this one.

Why not?

Put it in the bag, jumble it around.

And I think when at the end, when Peter Stremer was like, This is a reflection of your fears, I was like, This feels like he doesn't really understand what he's talking about.

And he's kind of making it up.

No, it would have been funnier if he was like, Yeah, so you've probably seen horror movies, and this is what you think about.

I like the movie.

Not really.

It's fucking psychoanana's over here reading her memory card.

I like the variety for sure.

I just kind of feel like, well, would this work better if it was just literally like, oh, we went to a haunted house that somehow came to life and every weird thing.

Could be, because when the bad guys are chasing by the end, it does feel very haunted, hayride, you know, Halloween horror nights.

Yeah, like

13 nights at Freddy's.

Okay, many nights.

Freddy is like, I I got to get these people out of here.

I only thought they were going to stay for five nights.

It's been 13.

You know what?

Franklin said, all guests and fish stink after three days.

And it's been way longer than that.

How do we get them out of here?

I think he calls him Ben.

I think they know each other.

Okay.

So

Ben Franklin stayed at Freddy's for three nights and said, I understand.

I don't want to stay longer than that, Frederick.

Man, you really, yeah, you really got a lot of the impressions tonight.

Whenever Ben visits, he brings that mouse along with him.

so uh all our characters are dead and then they wake up back in the place they were when they first started exploring the uh visitor center we got a time loop situation so our characters kind of like argue a little bit trying to figure out exactly what happened um in this process uh they're like kind of they continue exploring uh megan has her psychic episode where she seems to be possessed and then dies uh then clover gets dragged by some invisible force into a new house that had appeared across the way that has all kind of scary stuff on it.

Inside, we have a creepy old witch with a oxygen tank, and the witch pins her down and basically explains that like they're trapped in a cursed mining town that was swallowed up by the earth.

And that if you don't survive the night, you become one with the night.

Like Bane.

And then

she puts that gas mask on Clover's mouth.

And then that turns, it like possesses her.

And then she kills someone.

And everybody dies again.

That's the one.

And the witch just kind of turns into, just deteriorates into dust, right?

Yeah, yeah.

And there are also tons of those like harlequin masks around the house.

Oh, yeah.

True, yeah, yeah.

Like, yeah, like Eyes Wide Shut Domino masks.

Yeah, it was around here that I was like, oh, this movie's just going to throw a bunch of stuff in.

And I was like, all right, movie, let's see what other stuff you got.

Yeah, let's see.

And I got to say, like, as much as I objected to it to some degree, like, if you're not going to make a, like a good movie, make a grab bag like this.

Like, Thorpe is different at me.

I was like, you know what?

There are obviously differences between this movie and Cabin in the Woods, but there are some times where I was like, you know what?

This is like if Cabin in the Woods didn't think it was so fucking smart.

And like, wasn't, wasn't, wasn't trying to be, wasn't so smug about being clever.

And I like Cabin in the Woods, but I think it's, it's obviously a better movie than this.

But there are times when I was, I really admired this movie.

I was like, you know what?

We're making a kind of dumb slasher movie.

Let's throw as many monsters in as we can.

Let's throw as much stuff in as we can.

What do we, let's, why not pretend we're doing something more than we are?

You know?

Yeah.

So in the next time loop, they try to barricade themselves.

Know thyself, said this movie.

And it did.

They barricade themselves in a bathroom and they're like, man, I'm thirsty.

So they start drinking some water out of the, out of the tap, and then that water makes them all explode.

And this is.

Best scene in the movie?

Maybe?

Best scene in the movie.

What did you think, Tallie?

Was this too much for you?

All these people exploding?

This was too much for me.

Honestly, I was eating lunch as I was watching the part where the Megan explodes and she explodes just like in pieces.

And when her stomach got all big, I was like, I think I'm going to throw up.

It was too much.

I didn't like this.

This movie, I'll say, was bloodier than I expected and grosser than I expected.

The one thing it doesn't have that would make it more of a classic slasher is at no point does what's her name and Ave sneak off to have sex somewhere.

Yeah, no sex.

While the others are getting killed.

And that's the one thing it was missing to feel like, oh, this is like a real, like, like kind of uh

kind of just throw a bunch of blood at you

just do what dan did which is pause the movie in the middle and then pop in red shoe diaries and wash the fuck out of that and go back to the damn damn thing that's what dan does he always he always has to well he is dan that's prescribed by his doctor that every every hour and a half he has to watch the red shoe diaries

crank situation

my attention deficit uh needs to be broken up by regular sentence

um i you know it would be funny if you discovered this was like all this movie was like sponsored by Sunny Delight or something like, don't drink water.

You can't trust water brought to you by RFK's anti-fluoridation campaign.

Okay, so be healthy like me, have a worm in your brain and collect dead bears.

She did have a worm in her face.

She did have a worm in her face at one point.

Yeah, she did have a worm in her face.

So do you guys think it's because kids just aren't having as much sex these days?

Then she got a worm in her face.

Yeah, that's the number one cause of worms in face.

Or why, why there's

a bunch of people.

There's no hunger for it.

Nobody wants to do that.

I feel like, at least based on what entertainment comes out, a lot of material is less sexual.

We need to be.

In this particular scenario, where's the time to do it?

Dan, in usual Slander movies, where's the time?

There's just night after night after night.

There's so many horror movies, Dan, where people are getting killed in two mornings.

Think about to have sex.

Think about the crazy body horror you could have done with like a wiener with a mouth on it or something.

Or they start doing it and they get stuck together.

There's now one body.

Sure.

Yeah.

Like a certain movie that just came out this year.

I know what you're saying.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I forgot about that one.

Yeah.

In slasher movies, usually the sex happens between characters that don't know the slasher's there.

It's true.

They don't know.

It's in the early part of the movie.

Once people are running away from slashers, they're not like, hold on, let me get my pants down.

If I was in the slasher movie, I'd still do it.

I'm built different.

here's how you do it you set up that these characters are always horn-dogging each other and they realize they're like hey what would be hotter than doing it in danger like doing it when we know we not only can we get caught at any moment we get caught and murdered at any moment it's like crash it's like

crash except instead of cars and slashers yeah exactly slash slash

dana carberg where are you making this movie

and i at that point you know slash can write the theme song because he's his name's in the time oh for sure well he's the guy who starts.

He stars in it, too.

He's the one who starts the club.

Wow.

He's the Peter Strowman.

Today is Slash.

Okay.

No, here's the thing.

He shows up early on in the movie and you don't recognize him because he doesn't have his sunglasses and hat on.

And then later on, he shows up and he puts on the sunglasses and the hat and you're like, shit, that was Slash the whole time.

Yeah, and when he reveals they do a drum solo and you're like, what?

And like a guitar, Sting?

Elliot, your boy.

And then Sting walks out and goes, no, no, I'll play guitar.

And he pulls out a man.

I've got your best Sting impressions at all.

Oh, it's me, Sting.

Hello.

Does that matter?

I am Governor.

It's Sting.

We got to stop Slash.

You blew my mind, Elliot, because I realized that, like, if you're going to become a celebrity, what you got to do is do it Slash style where you have a couple of key items.

Yes.

So you can maintain your privacy.

Like, no one's going to know who you are.

Like, if Charlie Brown goes out in the world without a zigzag shirt, no one's like, oh, it's just a

fictional character Charlie Brown goes out in the world.

Yeah, yeah, no, that's just a bald child.

I'm spinning a tail here, Elliot.

But that's why

it's

Charlie Brown.

Oi, it's me.

Charlie Brown.

Where's my dog?

Yeah.

Do you guys not know that all the characters in Peanuts have thick, cockney accents?

Yep.

Except for the parents.

No, no.

No, that's how adults speak.

That's cockney gibberish slang.

Yeah, yeah.

Wah, wah, wah, wah, means up the stairs.

Okay, so we're in time loop number four.

They do some more exploring and they find uh some videotapes.

At least one of them is like a dirty movie, which is a weird choice.

Yeah, um, which is probably the sex they were trying to sneak in there.

Yeah, that was Dan.

Dan, that was from Dan's collection, yeah.

Um, and then uh, they find they find some video evidence of Peter Stromaire as an evil uh psychologist, uh, conducting experiments on people that are trapped and turning them from regular people into like flesh-eating ghoul

Wendigos.

And then he comes over the radio and he likes to rubbery masks.

They have fairly, did you guys feel like the ghouls were more, the masks were more rubbery than I expected them to be in a movie?

Okay.

Yeah, it's fine.

It's just like there was, I felt like there were a lot of great effects in this.

And the one place that the effects fell down was those, those ghoul faces always look like, again, people on like a haunted hayride who were going to jump out and scare you.

Yeah, but it allows them to be.

Clover has a latex allergy.

so it's really

that's her biggest fear.

Oh, wow.

So that's really scary.

Okay, that's why.

Yeah, then never mind, 100% makeup people.

You did a great job.

But I think I like that the makeup effects allowed them to use actual stunt performers so they could do some like wacky body movements.

Yeah, that's true.

So they, after this video, he like gives them an ultimatum and they're like, you can let one of your members die for real and you can, the rest of you can escape.

And, you know, they're like, no, friends forever.

They, they split up.

except for

clover runs off into the woods trying to find her sister uh because they're sure that her sister somehow is trapped here um and they find her but at this point she is uh monstrified and uh they they all die they they realize they have to die because they need to figure this out um okay so

At this point, they start realizing like, wait, how many times have we died?

Like, it's only been like four or five, right?

But nope,

they check the ledger.

They have died like 13 times and Megan is missing entirely.

So to try and make up for the time loss, Abe whips out his phone and we look through his videos where we get little clips of creepypastas of like all the different ways they died.

And there's a couple of like good little gags.

There's a, I like the one where they're like, they find an open doorway and there's, there's just like a mask kind of floating in the, like at regular human height.

And then it stands up and it's much larger.

And they're like, ah, I thought that was cool.

I like that.

And

that's the part with the worm in the face where it's like, she's got a worm in her face and they're trying to pull it out and then it goes into her face and they're like, oh, and she's like, is it out?

Did it fall out?

And it's way worse.

It's way worse.

I thought this was fun.

Again, like you said, it is very creepypasta, but it's like, that's fine.

At this point, again, the movie is like horror grab bags.

So like, make the most of it.

It's also like the equivalent of, you know, like in Groundhog Day, where you get like a fast montage of a lot of things happening over time.

Yeah, like when Bull Murray drinks water and explodes.

Yeah, exactly.

Like, if we're going to do this, we don't want to see all of the 13 nights.

We got, like, this is a good way of like getting in some like just general weirdness.

I will say this movie did the thing that I always want these movies to do, which is when they realize they're in a time loop, one of them says, it's like in that movie.

And someone else, there's a joke out there that goes, well, there's a lot of movies like that.

But I think I like that more than in any of these movies where people are like, what's happening?

We've got to puzzle it out.

Hold on.

Let's rat.

How do we explain this?

And it's always like, these movies are famous.

Just say it's like Groundhog Day.

Like this, you know, it's okay if in this universe Groundhog Day exists or Palm Springs or whatever, you know, but I like that they leave Happy Death Day or Happy Death Day, Edge of Tomorrow, yeah, exactly.

Live, Die, Repeat, that's the same movie.

Oh, no, actually, Dan did.

Live Die Repeat was the original one, right?

Uh, Edge of Tomorrow was the original theme, yeah.

But I thought it was, I thought it was originally called Live Die Repeat, then they changed it to Edge of Tomorrow.

Then, yeah, but then they re-released the movie under the other title.

Yes, no, it, the, the book was...

Wait, sorry.

The book was All You Need Is Kill.

Yeah.

The tagline was Live, Die, Repeat.

And the movie was titled Edge of Tomorrow, but then they were like, the tagline's better than the title.

So they re-released it or released it on video under Live, Die, Repeat.

Okay, I misunderstood.

I forgot that the first one was All You Need is Kill, which is I also don't love that title.

Yeah, that, yeah, people were like, why did you call it All You Need is Kill?

I'm like, well, because that's a bad title, too.

Yeah.

All you need is kill.

They could have called it Dead Again.

No one's used that before, right?

You guys have been talking about this for 13 nights no

hey check out my back do i have cool spines uh

um okay you'd have the one pretty cool

tell that to my scoliosis doctor um the so they uh was ragging on my spine

straighten up spine i'm trying

so watching the videos they realize they learn the fate of megan that she managed to survive one of those nights while recording uh Hill kind of uh like in inspecting their dead bodies and she follows him into the tunnels uh so they're like well we got to find her she's in the tunnel somewhere so if she survived why doesn't it just end and they're dead and they're monsters isn't the whole thing that someone has to make it through the night i have no idea i was wondering that too i think the movie at a certain point doesn't care maybe there's an explanation for also like how yeah she's like i'm gonna go follow him and then rules are weird but she doesn't take the phone with her to record anything else so that they can get this message.

So like there's, you know, the movie's just at this point, the movie is like, you got it.

Let's just get into the end game.

Come on, enough of this.

So, okay, so they wander off into the tunnels, into these old mining tunnels.

Sorry, can I say one thing?

Yeah, of course.

No.

Okay.

So this is an

okay.

Just this, just this one.

That was a thing.

All right.

You can say two things.

Say the other thing.

Okay, so at this moment when someone's like, oh, we got to go.

We got to go follow Megan.

We got to go find her this is a moment where abe takes like the hard line is like this is not a good idea you guys and this happens a few times in the movie where like one character makes a really has like a really strong opinion about one thing and it's like how did you get to this conclusion it doesn't like i don't know why you guys think one thing is a bad idea versus another thing like there's no context for their like strong uh points of view did you guys did that i think you're both right and also I'll say they're young people, you know, they're just picking up and putting down opinions left and right.

You know, they're just trying on personas.

Yeah, maybe they heard, maybe they got it from their mom.

Maybe they got it from a message board.

I did like the one point where Abe was like, like, they learned that someone has to die or whatever.

And Abe is like, let's hear them out.

Like, everyone else is like, no, we're not going to just like, like, no, but come on, let's listen to this.

Yeah, just to make sense.

But that made made sense because i thought it was like but but he's consistently the selfish one but you're right the idea that like no let's stay here and not go anywhere like why he feels that way is they all take turns being the one who's like i don't want to do what the rest of the group wants to do you know but um i will my counterpoint to that is they're not really the most richly drawn characters so um i think it's they're just kind of doing whatever the plot needs them to do you know okay

we haven't mentioned that they're so beautiful i think that did a lot for me I just was mostly looking at their faces.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know how,

you know, how usually each group has like one really handsome member and the others are kind of like monsters?

Talking about us.

I understand what.

Well, it's a, I couldn't tell if it was that I was watching it.

I'm like, are these all really good-looking people?

Or is it just that they are young?

And so to my eyes, they look good looking because they have their whole lives ahead of them.

They're not broken down yet.

I know.

I looked at a picture of myself five years ago.

I was like, I could have been in this movie.

Oh, my God.

We're all at least, we're all various levels of attractive, especially for podcasters.

Wow.

Oh, we're going to be able to do that.

We're also now at the point where we're watching this movie.

It's like, oh, these people are about 20 years younger than me.

Like I was around their age when they were born, which makes me feel old.

And yet they're still, they're now dressing exactly like I dressed at that age.

Fashion has gone gone full circle, is what I'm saying.

They dress in a very 90s.

Actually, Hallie, you're a trendsetter.

Oh my gosh.

Thank you.

It was Hallie.

It wasn't the 90s.

It was specifically Hallie.

Yeah, the costume designer suggested that Hallie influenced all her choices.

So

they follow, they go into the tunnels.

They have some run-ins with some when to go's.

Clover finds her.

They don't take the opportunity to say, where'd he go?

When to go?

They don't do that.

Clover finds Megan.

Who's on to go?

Who's on to go?

The classic dust tell us.

Who's always on to go?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, so they, I don't know, the Roadrunner is always on to go.

Like, do we need to list other.

Yeah.

The Energizer Bunny, always on to go.

Yeah.

Always.

So Clover finds Megan tied to a chair, and there's a Wendigo trying to snatch her, but he's chained to the wall, but he's slowly pulling his chain free.

Classic escape room.

She investigates more.

She finds.

It does.

I mean, at this point, it does feel like they're just going through a haunted house.

Does she deal with her sister before she deals with

Hill, or is it the other way around?

I can't remember.

I think she deals with her sister first.

Yeah, so she runs into her sister and they wrestle around a bit, and then her sister's obviously totally monstrified look off your face it's not that kind of two sisters wrestling around for a little bit how dare you alex put this video out show that my face was blank and i was zoning out

zoning out because you were imagining two sisters wrestling around yeah uh this was this is the thin veneer of like theme though that is in this movie of you know overcoming like putting trauma behind you moving on like it's like oh i'm no longer letting this tragedy define me by killing you my windigo sister yeah she used to kill her Wendigo sister.

Then she was like, Dan, am I?

Are we too far away from my slander of you as a perv from a couple minutes ago to talk about the idea of you buying a ticket to the check-off play three sisters and going, oh, this is going to be sweet?

And then you'd be very surprised what you see.

I'll allow it.

Okay.

So she.

But at least Robert Altman's three women will give me what I crave.

Whoa, what?

It's a weird fractured examination of identity.

I don't understand.

Uh-huh.

That's the one where

Sean Kusak has all those people living in his head, right?

Yeah, that's right.

I know it's Prue Taylor Vince.

Calm down.

So she, Clover finds.

Molly was raving.

She was so mad.

Yeah.

I fainted.

So she finds Hill's like

office slash like evidence dungeon, and they have a conversation.

He's drinking some coffee.

And while he's distracted, she pushes his little coffee cup underneath a dripping pipe.

So water drips into it.

And he explains all this crap about like how everything's born out of her fears and like her fear is the engine that drives it.

You're special, Clover.

Yeah.

Okay, riddle me this.

How did he make that coffee if he's never drank any water in that house?

He probably brings in his own bottled water.

I'll do you one more.

So, as we've talked about, the rules have gone at this point, but like, wasn't that just like a one-night problem?

Like, that was the fear that water would make people explode.

A weird fear to have.

Yeah,

he even says it's a weird fear to have.

Yeah, he said he's like the water was interesting that was pretty kooky

like if the water was a general problem he should probably fix those pipes rather than just like you would think

like a really bad like water balloon fight

regardless you would expect him to fix the pipe that is directly over his desk that is leaking water on the or move the desk you know

but yeah but

his papers that were still scattered on the desk getting all wet yeah so she tricks him into drinking coffee and he

totally explodes.

He gets the tummy rumbles for a second and then he explodes.

And she's like, I did it.

And then she's like, someone's going to die tonight.

It's going to be you, doctor.

Uh-huh.

And then.

So she rescues Megan from the Wendigo.

And then they all are like kind of fighting their way through the tunnel.

The other three confront that maniac and they use the power of friendship to overcome his strength.

And they smash his head with a sledgehammer.

I thought that was pretty cool.

And then, uh, that was a great,

that was a, I have, I rewound to watch that again because I was like, this is

gorier than I expected in this movie.

It's a real good head splat.

Yeah, and then, uh, yeah, they all run from uh, the Wendigos chasing them, and uh, they manage to burst through to the surface, they all survived, uh,

they greet the dawn,

um, and they escape.

The uh, this is

the sun salutation.

This is the, they say good morning, Starshine.

This is the section where it's like you're cutting back and forth between the hourglass is almost out.

But they're still being chased and the hourglass is all out.

I don't know if you guys felt this way.

I was like, I got it, movie.

Like, let's just empty that hourglass.

Like, I know.

And no more of this slow

on sand?

Because none of the characters have access to that information.

Like, we, we know that the hour, like, I don't know.

I feel like it's a necessary thing to show us.

Like,

like, we're not like,

what are they going to do?

Like, trick us?

Like,

I mean, like, where they show them being chased and then you cut the hourglass and it drains out and you're like, oh, they're saved.

And you cut back and everybody's dead or turned into monsters already.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And he was like, oh, that was a different time.

Theoretically.

Like, I don't necessarily have a...

a problem with that.

Hourglasses on Eastern standards.

Whoa, girl, no.

Like, I wouldn't normally have a problem with it.

In this scenario, I guess I'm not like, oh, they're gonna,

if they're if if they're not gonna make it out, it's not gonna be because this hourglass goes out.

I don't, like, I don't believe that.

As you know, I know we're at the end of the movie.

I, that is not,

it was like, I know we're at the end, I know they're gonna make it out.

So, like, let's just have it happen.

They're just cutting back and forth too much for me between that hourglass and them being chased by the same monsters, you know.

Yeah, uh-huh.

Um, so they, they escape, and then it cuts to uh a shot of an office filled with CC TVs and we see

CCH pounders actually.

And we see

CC me on that TV, please.

And we see

a different.

BCC me.

I don't want to get a bunch of reply off, but

yeah, BCC it.

Yeah.

And we see a different property.

It looks like a ski lodge, similar to a certain video game called Until Dawn.

Oh, so that was a little tip of the hat to the fans, I guess.

And we get all

storm air whistling.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Terrifying stuff.

Not since Peter Laurie and M has a whistle been so chilling.

Yeah.

I know the dude who's doing that has a weird looking face.

What?

Well, I so wait.

In the video game, is that like a different level that it's snowing instead of raining?

Or

what is the nod?

So in the video game, it all like that takes place in like a snowy ski lodge that's near this mining town that collapsed and in the in the game initially you think that there's some kind of mass killer who is stalking the characters but it turns out that's just a prank being played by one of the friends uh nobody's actually getting killed um unfortunately they happen to be doing this prank thing above a nest of wendigos

So they have to escape the Wendigos, and that's the whole thing.

Ah, I see.

And then the one who's playing the pranks, of course, that's Ramy Malik because he's the creepiest of the actors.

He gets like captured by Wendigos.

Oh, but he sings his way out.

That would have been cool.

They should have had someone do a prank.

Yeah,

pranks are better than pranks.

Holly just wanted to be watching Impractical Jokers.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, you put a little headset, you put a little earpiece in the Wendigo, and you're like, okay, so you're going to try and not tell them, tell them you want 3,000 hamburgers.

Okay.

Oh, they keep running away from me.

You keep eating the guy at the drive-thru.

We're trying to break the guy at the drive-thru.

Why'd we hire this guy?

Works for cheap.

This is where we do our final judgments.

Is this a good, bad movie, a bad, bad movie, or a movie you kind of like?

I'm going to go.

I'm going to go bad, bad, but it came sort of close to be a movie I kind of liked.

It has this weird throwback feeling.

It feels like an early 2000s horror movie in a way that like if it had actually come out at that time, I feel like I would feel weird nostalgia for it.

And

I could see in 20 years people being like, you know what wasn't bad until dawn.

It's a little better than you remember.

And then they try to turn it into a franchise.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And if it came out then, the creepy doctor would have been played by Udo Keir.

Yeah, yeah.

And Jennifer Love Hewitt would have been the girl who's looking for her singer.

Yeah.

Like there's stuff in it that I enjoyed watching.

Like I was more

into it than a lot of the stuff we watched, but I still, it's not quite enough for me to say that I liked it.

What do you think, Stuart?

Yeah, I'm going to say this is a bad bad.

It's that's, you know, there's some bits in it that are cool and there's obviously some gags.

Like I feel like some of the people that are involved in this clearly

were excited to get to make a fun horror movie.

But I think they're like just the central premise is such a mess.

It just doesn't work And it ends up not being, I think, like just the constant stuff being thrown at you makes it not scary at all.

And I feel like Elliot mentioned Captain of the Woods, and it feels very much like a derivative take on that.

But at least Captain of the Woods had like a very specific idea

that made sense.

I'm going to, I'm going to feel, I'm not disagree because it's just about feelings.

I'm going to say this is a movie I kind of liked.

I enjoyed watching it.

And I think it was partly because it was just doing the most,

which was not scary, but it was doing the most basic thing to me of like, hey,

here's a fun scene.

Here's a fun scene.

Here's a fun scene.

And I'm like, you know what?

This is not a great movie.

And it, but it feels like the closest I've seen, having seen a bunch of like attempted throwback movies where they try to shoot something in the style of an older movie, this felt like the most successful of that kind of throwback thing because it's just trying to accomplish what those movies were trying to accomplish rather than trying to ape the visual style or anything like that.

So I was like, you know what?

I'm having fun.

People are exploding.

People's heads are getting bashed in.

It's too long.

It's like, it's, I wish it was like 10 minutes shorter.

The characters, you know, don't matter.

But everyone.

It's like half an hour.

Yeah.

It's like almost two hours.

It was almost two hours.

At one point, I was like, all right, this movie's clipping along.

And I saw that there were 50 more minutes left in it.

And I'm like, oh boy, this is, this, this should not be that much more.

But, but I kind of liked it.

It was a, especially compared to the stuff we've been watching recently for the Flop House.

Yeah.

That's fair.

I, I was like, you know what?

I like that there's a a bunch of good gore effects in this.

And you could very easily watch this on a, on a, you know, lonely Saturday afternoon and be like, that was fine.

What do you think, Alex?

I feel like you guys liked this better than I did.

I really didn't like it.

I felt like at least if you're going to.

Yeah, it wasn't scary at all, but it wasn't even scary in the fun way that bad scary movies can be.

There were no like jump scares.

I would have, you know, I want to, I want my heart racing from something.

I mean, there are jump scares but they're not very they're not they don't pull them off they didn't make me jump i was sitting the whole time

unlike crisscross yeah who makes you jump jump it was a good thing you were paying for the whole seat because you didn't use just the edge

yeah there's no pranks yeah no pranks no go

and i don't know i yeah i found it like this like throw everything uh in and make it seem like a haunted house actually annoyed me like the the witch thing really annoyed me especially because there was witch thing

he walked into that one

but there's like graffiti on the house that she lives in that's like fuck the glore witch and you're like oh there's gonna be we're the the glore witch this is gonna be interesting we're gonna hear more than just this single scene i will say the scariest thing and my favorite thing you wanted to watch the glore witch project is the yeah exactly i would have loved that i love witches probably my favorite is my favorite scariest thing.

We should watch a witch movie with you sometime.

Well, Dan, can you make a witch movie?

Stuart, I walked into that one.

There was a really good one this year in movie theaters, but I know.

Yeah.

Which one was that?

Well, we don't want to spoil it.

My life has made it, so I have not been able to see a movie in the theaters for, I don't know, half a year.

So I've missed all these movies I want to say.

Yeah.

I feel like I interrupted you, Howie.

I think you were going to say something else that I

derailed.

Yeah.

I mean, I just didn't.

I wasn't entertained.

I found it too long, and it made me wish that I were at a haunted house, not watching other people be at a haunted house.

Yes, too.

That's are you not entertained?

Was yes, I am not entertained exactly because Russell Crowe was standing outside of Hallie's house yelling at her.

Yeah,

that was scary.

He threw a phone at me.

Moving is the worst.

Yeah, but it's exciting too.

Our new Max Fun HQ office in downtown LA is actually going to fit all of us in it.

And the new studio is going to be so nice.

Plus, we'll have space for hangouts and events.

Yeah, you're right.

It's going to be worth it, but boy, is it expensive?

Maybe we could get some help.

Hmm.

Hey, cool, listener.

If you want to get fun stuff and help us move, go to maximumfun.org slash moving day, where you can get vintage merch or buy naming rights to stuff around the office.

If you help us move by buying something, we'll invite you over for pizza and beer at our new place, maximumfun.org slash moving day.

If you want to know what's going on in the world of movies, you should be listening to Maximum Film so we can tell you all about it.

Okay, but what if you already know what's going on in the world of movies?

What if you're kind of obsessed with movies, like maybe you have a problem?

Well, then you should definitely be listening to Maximum Film because we too have that problem, and it's important you know you're not alone.

We're talking indies you'll want to seek out.

Blockbusters and blockbusting wannabes.

Classics we can't get enough of.

I'm comedian and writer Kevin Avery.

I'm film critic Alonzo Duraldi.

I'm festival programmer and producer Drea Clark.

Together, we're Maximum Film.

Smart about movies in Hollywood, so you don't have to be.

But if you already are, that's also great.

And hey, we see you.

New episodes every week on maximumfund.org.

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Also, if you are in the Midwest, the Flop House is coming to you.

That's right.

We are coming to Chicago, Illinois.

Yeah, Chicago specifically.

We're not just going to show up at your doorstep.

Chicago, Illinois on November 16th.

It's a Sunday night.

We have one show, an early show that's already sold out.

I'm sorry.

However, we still have tickets.

There's some tickets still available for our late show.

The show's at 9.30 p.m.

at Sleeping Village.

The 9.30 show is when things are going to get a little loose.

Well, because we are reviewing the Jim Belushi vehicle K9, where Jim Belushi tries to get his dog laid.

It's very exciting.

I can't wait to see it.

Let's go breeding.

And

we also, we're going to, I just ordered the merch, so we're going to have some cool merch there, our new flop house shirts and posters.

But if you're not in Chicago, hopefully we'll see you there.

But if you're not in Chicago, we have Flop TV Season 3.

That's right.

The first Saturday of every month beamed right to your phone, computer, or, I don't know, smart TV.

The Flophouse is doing some live shows.

Now, if you're not familiar with the past seasons of Flop TV, this is kind of our love letter to classic, like local television.

public like public access TV.

And we do a trim down version of our live show.

We do a new PowerPoint presentation.

We do some pre-taped segments that you would never get to see anywhere else.

And we do quick reviews of some classic movies.

This season, we are doing Flopsterpiece Theater.

So we are covering classic flops from the past six decades.

And our next one is going to be in November, the first weekend of November, and that is going to be

Xanadu, right?

Xanadu, Zanadadu.

Xanadu get tickets.

That's our.

Xanada don't sleep on this offer.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Our 80s installment, although it's really in vibe, it's sort of a 70s hangover.

Technically 1980, but yeah, but that's okay, you know.

Yeah.

Yeah, I don't think the cops are going to drag us away for reviewing Xanadu.

No, it'll be for some really good.

It'll be for being against fascism.

That's why the cops drag us away.

Okay.

Well, that's

bummed us all out.

I guess the only way we can feel better, watching some Vlop TV.

Now, if you buy, you can buy tickets for individual shows over at

theflophouse.simpletics.com.

That's theflophouse.simpletics.com.

And we also have a season pass available where you get six shows for the price of five.

Shows are going to be archived at least through the run of the season.

So if you missed an episode, don't worry.

You can catch up.

Hope to see you there.

These have been really fun.

I know my friends here have enjoyed it.

So I'm really enjoying this.

And I hope you guys tune in and jump in the chat on our next show.

Let's answer some letters from listeners.

This first one.

Why not?

Yeah, we've never done it before.

Let's do it now.

I'll explain things.

Check the archives on that one, Elliot.

You might get some Pinocchios, but this one's from I would love a Pinocchio to do all my chores.

Oh, wow.

Like a living puppet doll?

Sure.

Yeah.

Geez.

Take it on the road.

Wait a minute.

This could be my ticket to showbiz stardom.

I take it on the road.

I put on a show where it's

different puppets from different countries are coming on to him.

Yes, we could do this.

I always thought you were a geppetto but the bus feed quiz says you're somboli

yep um this is from jackie last name that little goldfish what

this is from jackie last name withheld i'm the whale

monstro

what's your favorite phone call in cinema phone scenes tend to be short and sweet that only move the plot along that only move the plot along but pack a punch we got one in ghostbusters and i'm going to bed in the post the phones are working in Jurassic Park.

Which call do you love?

Thanks, Jackie.

Lasting withheld.

This seems upon rereading to be specifically about short phone calls, but not the one I'm going to say.

Can I jump in?

Yeah, like

I don't think I can stick to that.

We may have the same one, Ellie.

I was thinking about Doctor Strangelove.

That's why I wanted to go first, Dan.

That's why I said, can I jump in?

Because I was just saying,

you can jump in.

I figured we might have the same one, which is in Doctor Strange Love, when the president, Merkin Muffley, is on the phone with Dimitri Dimitri, the premier of Russia, or the Soviet Commissar, whatever.

And it is clear that Dimitri is at maybe a bordello, maybe a party or something like that, but just this one-sided conversation where he's trying to explain to somebody that they're about to,

that a nuclear bomb is about to hit his country and the stuff.

Can you turn the music down, Dimitri?

Can you turn it?

That's better, Dimitri.

Thank you.

And clearly, Dimitri's upset.

He's like,

I'm just as upset as you are.

I don't like that.

It's just such a funny performance to only hear.

And Peter Sellers does such a great job with it that you feel like you're hearing the other end of the phone, even though you're not.

Well, he's really trying to like soften an impossible to soften blow.

He's like, now, one of our fighters, he went and did a silly thing, Dimitri.

The bomb, Dimitri.

The hydrogen bomb.

Yeah,

it's a very funny scene.

What about you guys?

What kind of phone calls do you like in movies?

I mean, this is a short one, but I just love in the movie Night of the Creeps when Tom Atkins

answers the phone by saying, thrill me.

I think that's such a great

thing.

And obviously when somebody takes Liam Neeson's kid and he explains his special set of skills.

Well, I was going to say the phone calls in when Harry Met Sally, I feel like they don't do the like split screen.

Like each person is doing a separate thing, but they're just like narrating what they're doing on the phone while they're falling in love.

That was what I was going to say.

There's another good split-screen one in Down with Love where it looks very sexual as they're both on the phone on different sides because of what they're the blocking of the phone call.

I bet you it's a parody of the one in, I think, Pillow Talk with Rock Edition and Darcy.

I bet it's a callback to that.

Kids don't want that anymore.

No, no sex.

They want sexless phone calls.

They just text, and it's not about sex.

Have you seen a phone these days?

There's no place to insert your sexual organs.

I mean, that's a similar thing.

Like, do you guys have favorite examples of texting in a movie?

I have one, but I don't know.

Yeah, you should.

Mine is in

Decision to Leave, the way that he, when he's texting with

the femme fatale character, the detective, and he's like so like stressed about it and the way like he's watching the fucking three bubbles and then the three bubbles are kind of like superimposed over his face as he's like waiting for her response.

It's so great.

Let's move on to this next letter, which is from Kelly, last name withheld.

Kelly Kapowski from Save by the Bell.

Hey, wow.

Wow.

Hey, Peaches.

I really was a fictional character, guys.

Yeah, wow.

It's not okay.

That's very impressed by you.

Yeah, yeah.

Did somebody stick her in an Indian in the cupboard cupboard and she popped it out?

Yeah,

one of the lockers at Bayside is one of those cupboards, actually.

Yeah, Screech invented it.

Hey, Peaches, I recently went back to grad school at NYU.

Congratulations.

Well, thank you.

On their behalf.

And my first course was about strategic.

Stupid designated to thank for.

Okay.

My first course was about strategic leadership.

There was a lot of media to consume for the course, including an episode of the podcast, Work Life, focusing on the daily show.

I listened closely and I got exactly what I was hoping for.

A two-second clip of Dan pitching a joke and promptly getting shut down by Jubin Perang.

Dan did not show up at any other point in the podcast.

I learned a lot from that podcast, but the most important lesson is, of course, that Dan McCoy is a leadership expert.

My question is: what's the most unexpected university course in which each of you could plausibly claim expertise?

And what's the course where you would be most surprised if you recited as an expert?

Kelly, last name withheld.

My problem is

that I feel like doing this podcast has revealed most of my hidden talents.

We've found ways to work them into

the top one, of course.

But, like,

you're really good at it, Dan.

Thank you.

I've been practicing.

You can do it so fast.

Stuff like that.

Dan is, I think people are drawing.

People don't realize that.

Dan is a globally ranked masturbator.

Yeah.

So, yeah, drawing.

There was a real flashback to

masturbate like stenographers type.

Wow.

Stopping in full sentences.

Kind of staring off into space.

He has to be read back every now and then.

It's a real gross.

First, I get to remember how I was at the daily show.

Yeah, they're really taking you back there, huh?

So, Dan, what is this?

So, drawing?

Yeah,

some sort of art

thing.

Yeah, I mean, obviously, obviously things like miniature painting, but I also feel like I

like I could probably teach a class on

like staff development or like management training.

That's good.

Strategic leadership.

Strategic leadership, yeah, why not?

I think I could, at this point, maybe I might show up as a source in an urban studies.

class after all the work I did with the power broker, which would be ironic because I have no formal training in it or really credentials or academic background.

But I do.

That's pretty ironic.

Somebody call Atlantis.

We're roasting Elliot now.

Now I'm being roasted.

The worker is when you said Atlantis, at first, I thought you said Atlantis, and I was like, Atlantis, Mora said.

It's ironic.

She lives underwater.

Atlantis, Marma said.

Yeah, that's the bad name.

She was in Zootopia.

She could be in Zootopia, too.

So

I, and I think I'd be most surprised to end up as a source

or end up involved in a course for any science, anything,

any

physical or natural science or anything like that.

So maybe kinetology.

Look to me for any sort of sports instruction or knowledge.

That would be very surprising.

Oh, that, yeah, actually, that would be it.

If

my brother was teaching a class about sports in grad school and he called me in for a class to be an expert, it would turn out the whole thing would just be him making fun of me, roasting me for not knowing anything about it.

dan yeah and what would you

cycle of violence allie

what about you people hurt people

oh god i don't know i'd probably be in like a history course where they talk about me and they're like oh she died penniless uh

here's in obscurity

and yet look why are we studying her yeah no but then i become really famous uh a century after you need to she is the the the trendsetter for the 90s fashion revival.

Hallie Hagland.

Yeah.

Alice Haglund.

Now, what were you wearing in the 90s, Hallie?

Was uh, yeah, before the oh my god, I'm not.

Come on,

uh, baby doll dresses, okay, plaid, uh, plaid pants with flare that were flared, uh, skater, skater dresses, uh, striped shirts, um,

terry cloth, uh,

plaid.

Uh, oh, I already said that, you know,

your base.

I'm like, like, Doc Martens or you're bringing me back, painting me a picture.

I had these um knee-high baby blue Doc Martens.

Yeah, I had a lot of creepers.

I had a pair of creepers.

Do you guys remember creepers?

They have heel, they're just

creeper.

Yeah, well, they were silver with black stars on them.

I'm sure some of your audience remember creepers.

Um, I had these red platform pats.

I had

sneaking up on people.

Yeah, well, I think that's why they think they're supposed to be very quiet.

I would always wear

big, baggy, I always wear like big, baggy, straight-leg jeans where the back of the jean of like, you know, the cuff is all like frayed as fuck because they're dragging them along the ground.

Yeah, like a Sam Keith drawing, just kind of horrible frayed

stuff.

Yeah.

Yeah, I uh

I wore whatever my parents bought, which was why I I was not stylish.

Sailor suits.

Yeah.

Yeah, like a little beanie with a propeller on it.

Miggy mouse shorts with big yellow buttons in the front.

Why are there two big buttons on them?

Yeah.

I don't even see pockets like a bib all the time.

They'll make a mouse at some point.

You're like, Dad, I've grown out of short pants.

We'll make your socks taller.

That's kind of like pants.

Okay, let's do some recommendations of movies that may be a better use of your time than Until Dawn.

There's a movie that's coming out,

I believe, the day that we're recording this.

I saw just slightly early because of the

guild screening.

You're still cool.

You got to see it slightly early.

No, well, I was just like, it's not going to, it's going to be so long that it's been out by the time this, but I saw, if I had legs, I'd kick you with the writer, director, and supporting actor Mary Bronstein was there and did a good Q ⁇ A afterward.

So you're recommending we see it with the Q ⁇ A.

No, I'm just saying that it was nice to,

you know, like the guild puts on these things and they're supposed to at least be, I think, in addition to an awards push, sort of educational, like

writers talking to writers.

So you get ways to go to that because you show up at the theater and you're like, don't you know who I am?

I'm Dan McCoy of the Flophouse Podcast.

No, but I never make or break this movie.

It's funny.

I went to the, it was at the Lincoln Square Theater and there were like two other tables of special screenings going on there.

And I'm like, which one do I go to?

There was also a

Roofman screening at the same place.

Didn't my radio roof?

It was the premiere of the new season of Elsbeth, which was by far the most glamorous.

There are all these like people there dressed up, actors, to go to Elsbeth.

But anyway, if I had legs, I'd kick you is

I think that probably because I'm an anxious person myself is why I love movies that feel like anxiety stress dream.

Like for me, it's a weird therapy almost to go through it from a distance.

And this sort of goes on the list with, you know, something like Uncut Gems or After Hours or Beau Was Afraid, like that kind of like

just

relentless stress.

relentless um

and this one's more about uh the stress of her being a mother who's her her partner's out of town she has and you really identify with being a mother

she has a child that

has some sort of mysterious ailment um and it's just you know things

stress on stress on stress, but also funny and surreal.

And,

you know, Roseburn is amazing at it, but also

lately.

She's great.

But ASAP Rocky and Conan O'Brien are in supporting roles and are both really good.

It's a fun movie if you like stress.

Yeah.

Stuart.

Guys, can you check the rule book?

Can I make two recommendations today?

Allow it.

Okay.

Okay.

So my recommendations are both movies

from Friends of the Flophouse.

So I got to recommend them both.

The first is, of course, the new Steve Kostansky movie, Death Stalker, which is a reboot, reimagining sequel of the Roger Corman Cheapo Sword and Sorcery movie Death Stalker, back in the days when your video store aisle was filled with Boris Vallagio-painted

fantasy

movies that look nothing like the paintings on the cover.

And this is Steve has managed to make this like super fun movie filled with lots of gags and like literally like wall to wall with cool creature effects.

It's like it's such a, it's such a dream to get to see it.

And it feels both nostalgic, but it doesn't feel like it's, despite the fact that it's clearly related to these like, these old sword and sorcery movies, it's not like, it doesn't feel like it's aping anything.

And it's one of those things where you're just like watching it like, and you can't believe that people, that he gets to make it and that like movies like that are being made.

Yeah, it's really fun.

And I, uh, if you get a chance to see, it just came out this weekend, and I'm sure it's doing a limited run, it'll be streaming at some point.

Um, and then if uh, another thing to recommend is friend of the flop house Ashley Atkinson, who was a guest on the show recently, is in The Lost Bus, which is uh on Apple TV Plus right now.

It's the new Paul Greengrass movie about a horrible uh wildfire, and Matthew McConnell plays the the lead where he plays a bus driver who is tasked with saving a busload of kids and getting them out of the fire zone.

America Ferrara plays the teacher that is helping him and Ashley plays the bus dispatcher and Yule Vasquez plays the fire chief.

And the

I'm not normally a big fan of disaster movies, but Greengrass seems to really understand that the only way to make this story work is to really focus on the individual drama and individual

to see it through their eyes and we get four really strong performances from the leads and it really makes the whole thing the stakes really work and the whole thing's great it was very stressful to watch my friend play a character who is upset

but yeah the lost bus it's good check it out

I'm going to recommend a different movie that's on Apple Plus TV right now.

And that's, yeah, I know Dan is shocked.

He has a shocked look on his face.

That is Spike Lee's new movie, Highest to Lowest with Denzel Washington, which is a remake of Kurosawa's High and Low.

And it's, I thought it was a really solid,

really fun kind of like

suspense movie.

It's a little slow in the beginning.

It does not have the crackling oppressiveness of a Kurosawa's original High and Low, which is a truly just amazing movie.

But I really enjoy it a lot.

And Spike Lee, when he's putting together a sequence, he can be one of the greatest filmmakers that ever ever lived.

And he has a couple of those sequences in this one, especially as the movie gets going.

I felt like it picked up kind of like emotional energy, tension, you know, dramatic energy.

And so I would say

sit with it in the beginning where it kind of takes a little time to get going.

But once it gets going, I was really enjoying it a lot.

And Denzel Washington, as always, is.

you know, possibly the greatest actor there's ever been.

And so seeing the way he so kind of effortlessly owns the screen that he's on and how effortlessly he can kind of

go back and forth with the other actors is really fantastic.

The other performers are in it are great too, but you know, it's hard, it's hard to take your eyes off him when he's on screen.

Yeah, there's not a lot of actors that I would put up against Toshira Mifune, but Denzel Washington's one of them.

Yes.

That's what I was going to say.

My turn?

Yes.

Yeah.

I was going to record until dawn, right?

No, I was going to recommend weapons

because the whole time I was watching Until Dawn, I was like, man, I wish this was weapons.

I wish I was watching that again because that was really good.

I went and saw it alone on my birthday, a little matinee.

Whoa.

And yeah, it was, it was.

We're talking about happens and they still haven't gotten a seat yet.

I won't tell you what happens.

Wait, just tell me this.

Is there a weapon in it?

Well, don't tell me.

Okay.

Are there plural weapons in it?

Don't tell me.

All right.

Well,

I thought it was great.

Josh Brolin's great.

Julian Gardner's great.

Just

all around.

It seemed like it was

an allegory that they didn't quite commit to.

That was my one problem with it.

That I was like, is this, does this mean a thing?

And then at the end, I'm like, I'm not sure it did.

But I've gotten

to terms with it.

Yeah, I felt the same way because I was like, oh, I think I would have liked it better if they had gone all the way with that.

But then they leaned so hard into

the twist that sort of upended the allegory.

And it seems like

what's next for this project is leaning even further into

the rejection of the allegory that.

that kind of disappointed me because I think I would have liked it more, but also it was really

good.

It was, it was, I left and i was very uh unnerved and i had seen it alone so i had no one to talk to about it it was it was you could have asked me to come with you well you i wouldn't have been able to yeah exactly so you know face it up projected over to reddit and started posting

um but it was went to see weapons by myself am i the asshole

uh yeah recommend i gotta see it is that streaming yet or no

uh you might be able to buy it or whatever

Amy Madigan is incredible at it.

Does she get Madigan?

Oh, boy.

Does she?

No spoileys.

Elliot, I also think

it hits differently if you

have children.

That was my wonder.

I know children are involved in it, so I wondered if that was the case.

Yeah,

it's...

I mean, also, it seems like they're not, whoever wrote it maybe doesn't have children because some of the like age

assumptions about like

how old the kids should be and what they should be doing were like wrong but

there were real kids

that children shouldn't play with dead things that's uh that's a good that's good advice yeah it reminds me there's that scene in uh boyhood and maybe this was based off of his real life i don't know where they're hanging out overnight in an in an unfinished house and they're throwing circular saw blades into wall and i was like The main character is like 10 years old and he's doing this.

This seems bonkers, but maybe that's how they do it in Texas.

I don't don't know.

I mean, that was back in the day.

I was doing some crazy stuff

back in the day.

It's set in like the 1990s, that part.

Yeah, that's when we were

unsupervised kids.

Yeah, you didn't have dangerous people.

Yeah, you can go out in the middle of the night and spend the night, you know, at an abandoned house.

Well, they don't know what they're doing if you're like staying over with someone.

They don't know what you're doing.

That's a good point.

I just know that idiots.

I have a distinct memory of us starting fires beneath the porch of my friend's house.

Not literally burn down my neighbor's two huge trees and let her roof on fire.

Like, yeah, yeah, that I would thankfully, we did not burn down the house, but we could have, uh, and we shouldn't have been doing that.

And that's why maybe it wasn't a good idea to be so unsupervised.

But now imagining a world where, Dan, you burned down someone's house as a kid and you blame it on the talking head song, Burning Down the House.

And now David Byrne has to testify at trial that there's no subliminal messages in his music to get kids to burn down houses.

Yeah.

Multiverse, you know.

Anyway, thank you, Hallie, for being here for Shocktober.

And you know what?

We haven't announced on the show our plans for November.

Yeah, we got a new theme month.

Well,

we're trying a new theme month this year.

I don't know if it'll stick or not, but we're definitely doing

keeping your foot on the beach over here.

So

I'm just going to grip it and rip it, guys.

We have a new theme month starting now and going on forever.

It is called Movember because you're getting Mo Falapios episodes.

That's right.

Instead of doing two regular episodes and two minis, we're giving you four regular episodes.

And what's that?

They're not regular.

No, in fact, we have a cavalcade of amazing guests coming to join us.

I can't wait to go over all this and hang out with all these cool dudes with Attitude.

It's going to be a lot of fun.

Ninja Turtles?

In a way.

It's four episodes, so maybe i i will say this our next episode will be a mini and it will be coming out november 1st so movember starts after that but oh okay so it sort of like shades into uh so yeah we transition from shock tober into movember yeah okay uh well anyway um you know classic flophouse blunder but uh we will have for yeah write your congressman they call them funders because they're fun blunders yeah yeah but write them like johnny funders write them about all the terrible things that are happening in the world.

Yeah, time to stop.

Please stop.

Um, so anyway, Hallie, thank you for being here.

Uh, anything you want to say here at the end, or you just want to nod with that big grin on your face?

Thanks for having me.

Right back at you, you're welcome.

Uh, Hallie, do you want to plug your what, Substack?

What's

it?

Yeah, check it out.

Uh,

it's called your local library called That Hurts My Feelings

on Substack.

It's a great

little read.

Slow talkers of America sketch.

I'll say genuinely that that hurts my feelings.

Is when I see it pop up in my email, I immediately read it.

It is the first thing, the only thing that I go to immediately when I see it.

And I always find the Hallie's entries to be both hilarious and also poignant.

And they make me think about the world in different ways.

Yeah, they're very personal.

Very personal.

I tell it all, you guys.

So if you want to get to know me in that way, I'm sure.

Okay, well,

thank you for that plug.

And

thanks to Alex, our producer.

He goes by the name Howl Dotty on the internet.

Check out his music, his Twitch streams,

his own podcast.

Thank you to Maximum Fun.

If you go to maximumfun.org, there are a lot of other great shows you can listen to.

Informative ones, funny ones, ones that are both.

Check them out.

But for the flop house, I've been Dan McCoy.

I've been Stuart Wellington.

I've been Ellie Kalin, just remembering now to tell you that my book, Joke Farming, is coming out very soon from the University of Chicago Press.

I think you can pre-order it now.

And we've been doing it.

Oh, thank you, Dan.

I have am and will always be Hallie Hacklund.

So, Hallie, you were telling us you went to a chapel roan concert with a 10-year-old?

Yeah, I did.

I was hoping to, you know, I don't have a girl, so I glom on to my friends who have girl children, hoping that I can influence, mold, shape them, whatnot.

So is my friend's daughter,

but also my friend and another adult.

Three adults, one child.

Wait, three women and a baby.

Exactly.

Well, three women and a little lady.

We're really

turning things around.

It's a new era, ladies.

This is our world now.

We take care of the babies now.

Sounds like you guys were H-O-T-T-O-G-O.

We were.

We were.

But then when we were getting our

halfway through that, and I was like, I don't know what you're spelling out, don't get it, I don't understand.

Yeah, but then when we were trying to drive out, it took a very long time.

And someone had their window rolled down and they were playing

like a parody of that song that was like, H-O-T-D-O-G-S,

hot dogs are the very best.

It was good.

It was maybe better than the original.

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