77: Minion: Impossible

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It's Jesse and Dodger.

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Yo, it's the weekend.

Yeah, it's time to geek out.

Let it begin.

Go on, stream and shout.

It's Jesse and Dodger.

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Now, follow, subscribe, and turn this up.

Yo, it's the weekend.

Yeah, it's time to geek out.

Let it begin.

Go on, scream and shout.

It's Jesse and Dodger.

So give them a follow, number one, geek podcast without a doubt.

Hello, everybody, and welcome to Geekenders.

Oh, hello.

Welcome to Geekenders.

On a Thursday.

It's Thursday.

Yeah, did you know it's Thursday?

It changes everything.

Thursday.

Oh, my goodness.

We started with a weekend.

What are we doing?

Why are we doing this on a Thursday, Jessup?

Why?

I'm shamelessly and selfishly going to Boston to go see the Witcher concert on Saturday.

And

I have to leave tomorrow.

And

because it's a cross-country flight headed further into time, I leave at 8 a.m.

and arrive sometime after 5 because that's how the world works.

Yeah.

How long of a flight is that?

It's not even that long of of a flight

like five and a half ish yeah that's not too bad but then plus three so you know and so i gotta jump to the future and then yeah they're having the the very first witcher concert here's the thing i feel scammed i feel a little scammed why so i saw an announcement

like oh boy i don't know a couple months back that was like witcher live in concert for the 10th anniversary of witcher 3 it's gonna be this huge thing it's gonna be amazing We're doing two in Poland and two shows in Boston.

And I was like, all right, that makes sense.

They have a studio in Boston.

So like, okay, I will gladly go to the Boston show because that's my only option.

And I can't wait.

And then a few days ago, I see online they've got a full U.S.

tour and the last stop is like in November in LA.

I'm like, what am I doing?

What?

What?

What?

So

I feel a little got.

Yeah, they got.

Oh, I agree.

I agree.

I feel a little got,

but I'm already in.

I already got a hotel and a flight and I'm going to go see this damn thing.

So it's too late.

Boston's a little bit.

Too late for that.

So you'll have a nice time.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm sure it'll be great.

I love Boston.

It's a, it's a very nice city to get yelled at.

And so I'm excited to go.

I'm just like,

I didn't have to go.

Sure.

But here we are.

Sam thought that you were going to be going to TwitchCon because that's why everybody's traveling right now, I think.

Oh, is TwitchCon EU?

TwitchCon eu yeah and i was like i would be shocked if jesse was bothering to go to twitch con eu but but maybe i'm not gonna bother to go to twitch con us like i'm like

having been i don't know that it's my space

it's just a lot of like i'm sure five six years ago a twitch con would have been like i went whenever it was in Vegas two years ago, one year ago, whatever it was.

It's fine.

It's cool.

The biggest problem is that the stuff there is to do there besides, you know, panels, is mostly not related to the gaming space of Twitch.

There's like two, three gaming-related activities, and maybe Amazon will roll up with a few of their new games.

But for the most part, it's makeup, lighting, keyboards.

camera equipment.

Stuff to make your screen better, et cetera, et cetera.

Yeah, weird brand integration things.

Like there's a bunch of energy drink companies there and they're all like, hey, you know, like that kind of stuff.

It's not very what I would consider entertaining.

It's a lot of

people

going there under the impression they're going to content create.

And do, yeah, the amount of people that here's here's my last experience there was either going to a panel and, you know, watching people kind of say the same things over and over again, which is a really, you know, it's, it's,

I'm kind of minimizing what it is, but that's how it felt.

I haven't been.

And sorry.

No, go for it.

I was going to say, I haven't been since we ran a, we did an art booth when I think Clark was like one, when we were still doing the cat gang, like merch stuff.

Danny and I did a booth.

And that was fun, but that was, you know, six-ish years ago.

I have no idea what TwitchCon's like now, but from talking with

other streamers, which is really the only perspective that I tend to get,

yeah, it's like, if you're coming there as a non-streamer, you're probably mostly there for signings.

And if you're coming there as a streamer, you're there for like

schmoozing,

so to speak.

You know, that's minimizing it, I guess, but like connecting with companies, like finding out about new technology, whatever.

So I was having a conversation with Keenan about it, Kriken, and he was saying that he feels like the experience of a person coming who isn't a streamer is like they don't have that much to do.

I would agree.

And I don't know why.

Again, I haven't been in a long time.

So I don't know if that's true or if that's different, like depending on where the TwitchCon is being held or.

Yeah,

so the difference I would say is, like, look at PAX as an example.

PAX is an event that at its core is about creating experiences for people who are coming to the event, right?

So if you and I were to go, our job there would be to do a panel or signings or whatever, but we're not the focus of the entertainment.

No.

PAX has it pretty simple where there's a lot of things to do and a lot of stuff to look at and you can constantly be entertained.

You can go to vendor halls.

You can go.

There's so much to see and do that a normal everyday person could go to PAX and really enjoy.

For sure.

TwitchCon, TwitchCon's very much like all the other cons

that if you go to like the boat con

or the con for like, you know, housing, whatever, you know, the corporate conventions, they're clearly designed for the people in the industry.

And that's what TwitchCon is.

It's designed for people in the industry.

And yeah, you can go and meet people you like who stream or whatever.

But I, yeah, I would imagine it's very boring too i i don't i'm i'm in it and i think it's boring

like i go there yeah and i'll get you know i'll create things to do like last time i went i um

only went for exactly one day and during that day i did three panels i did two streams from the con

for two different charities and then i left

like i did a signing and then peaced out.

I was out by five.

Right.

Flew back to LA that night.

I was like, Bay,

I brought no bags.

I brought nothing.

I was like, I'm in.

And I did it specifically as like a give back to fans.

I was like, I'm going to do my panels.

I'm going to do my stuff.

And I'm gone.

I am not going to sit around and be bored for one minute at this thing.

I just can't do it.

Bored, Jesse, is the worst.

I'm just, I will get like.

You turn into an antsy monster, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I can't do it.

Yeah.

I mean, I guess, like, you could make the argument that we don't need another pax, really.

You know, like, TwitchCon, I guess it is what it says on the tin, right?

It's about streaming.

Yeah.

It's about the streamers specifically, whether you want to meet them or whether you are one.

But somebody in chat was saying, I feel like a lot of the people that I know

kind of use a convention like that as an excuse to get together.

So it's like, yeah, we'll go to this con.

We'll, you know, we'll do like the one or two things that we really want to do.

But depending on the convention, the cost of going to the con just for like one or two things could be like atrocious, right?

So it's just nice.

I guess more what we're saying is it's just nice when there's.

more for people to do, right?

And it's not like phoned in stuff like, well, when you're bored, you could sit on a beanbag.

I mean, they even have that at packs.

Like, there's always the boardroom.

Right.

I would say that that's how I feel about BlizzCon, or I did.

I haven't been to a BlizzCon in a while, mostly because I'm like not in that world anymore.

But for BlizzCon, the reason I would go wasn't because I was so hyped to see the next thing for Warcraft, I'll definitely play anyway, right?

And especially, you know, shout out to everyone who goes to TwitchCon, stands in line for a Warcraft demo, plays it, and has to realize that none of their bindings are saved and none of their add-ons are in there.

And so it's like,

why am I doing this?

Yeah.

Yeah, it was whatever.

But the reason you went to BlizzCon was you'd meet guildies, you'd meet old friends, you'd hang out, you go drink, you go to Disney, you'd do a whole thing.

And it wouldn't be just about playing Blizzard games.

Most of the time...

Every other BlizzCon kind of sucked, to be honest.

I'm a big proponent of they shouldn't have done it every year because they didn't have stuff every year.

Completely agree.

As a person that went mostly because I had a bunch of friends who were super into Blizzard properties and I was not.

Yeah, just hanging out with everybody and hearing them talk about it.

It was the vibe was definitely, we could do this every other year, every three years.

You know, it does not have to be.

Yeah, yeah.

When there's stuff to see and there's things to, you know, get invested in and be involved in, it was strictly, you go for friends.

Same with PAX.

I would go to PAX to meet and hang out with people.

Eventually, it became all work.

And it was like, I'd go to PAX and I'd spend three days running around.

And I was like, what if I don't do that anymore?

It's been great.

So, um,

yeah, I

TwitchCon is a very strange beast because it is clearly designed for,

I don't even know if like established

streamers is the way to like it's for people who see themselves becoming a big streamer

and so they need to make the connections and they need to do all that stuff because other than that every experience i've had with people who are huge in the streaming space uh a great example is i saw

oh boy one of the like

dude bro streamers and he was walking around with a crew of like 13 people and People running up to him trying to do photos and trying to do stuff.

And he's like, hey, man, come on.

That's the vibe.

I was like, all right, so you can't do anything if you're famous on this platform.

And then if you're gaming related, I don't know what you would be doing the entire time.

And then for the most, like, the last time I was there when I was in San Diego,

this is a great example of just why I'm like,

sometimes I wonder what's going on out here.

There was a dude running around in like an army jacket.

Literally just trying to start fights while recording it.

And at the end of the night, while I was standing outside of the convention center, I see the dude running,

you know, down the sort of if you're outside the St.

No Convention Center, there's that long walkway.

He's running down the walkway, and there's like three dudes chasing him.

And I'm like,

he got his content.

Yeah, he got his content.

He did it.

And that's,

unfortunately, that's the vibe.

There's a lot of,

I don't want to say ill will, but there's a lot of like that there too.

I mean, it's the reason they make content.

Yeah, it's the reason that so many of the parties parties have a do not stream the party rule, right?

Like, just let people enjoy themselves.

Yeah, I don't, I don't like that.

And I have a lot of interesting,

I would love to do a tell me about episode with like a S-Fan or someone who does that streaming all the time nonsense.

Yes.

Where I'm like, yo, what's the deal?

Because I feel like I always see you with the camera streaming walking around.

Do you get looks?

Do people hate you?

What is because in my mind, anytime I see anyone with the camera anywhere doing anything out in the wild, I'm like,

yo, I hate that.

I'm like, live your life.

What are you doing?

But at the same time, I know people that are really, really talented at like, I don't want to say Conan O'Briening.

real life, but you know, when Conan goes around and he does his bits, there are people that are very good at it.

I just don't know that I personally could handle not shutting down.

Look at how far we've come since Vlogmas.

Do you remember when we first started, and all of the vloggers were like, we're going to do a fun thing where we do a vlog every single day of December?

I did Vlogmas a couple times, and everyone was like, every day, that's crazy.

And look at us now.

Yep.

Yeah.

What about every minute of December?

Check me.

The reward is obvious.

I think the big, like a great example is Ko

is like the perfect example of a guy who streamed every single day for years and years and years, no breaks.

And the takeaway everyone had from that wasn't, oh my God, poor Ko overworked himself.

It was, yo.

that dude blew up because the consistency.

And so everyone is like, I got to be as consistent and do it.

And

it's definitely a,

I don't want, not even a game changer, like a system changer.

Where before it was do

content that is, you know, consistent.

Where if you post every Monday, keep posting every Monday.

Now it's be around all the time.

All the time.

Yeah.

And that's, it's, there's no way I can be successful in that environment.

I just don't, I want to shut stuff off and walk away from the internet for a while.

And if the algorithm says, don't do that, we need you on all the time, then bless those who can pull that off.

I am like mesmerized by the amount of talent that it, I don't know if talent is the right word.

Talent, I mean the right word.

Yeah.

Yeah, like the like the complete balls to just be like, F it.

Let it go live and I'm just going to film what I'm doing.

As an entertainer, part of me is like, I know half of what I do in a day is boring as shit.

So why would I want to broadcast my boring ass life to the world?

Like, all right.

But I also don't watch any of those.

So I don't necessarily know what goes on

on them.

Yeah.

It could be highly entertaining.

Or it could be we're walking around the street and it's 25 minutes of just

walking.

We're walking down the street.

Oh, geez, what's that over there?

Oh, that's pretty cool.

All right, keep on walking.

And chat's like, yeah,

I don't know.

I have no clue what it is.

Oh, my goodness.

Yeah.

I, as I've gotten older, have become more and more private with my life.

Sure.

So, yeah, there have been a few times recently where I've been like,

is my only avenue for growth to just

do

more?

And I don't, I don't think that that's what it is.

I think that some people have something

unique to them that makes people want to watch them, right?

But there's also just the quality over quantity sort of thing.

The issue is sometimes people are making amazing stuff and it's just too saturated and people don't see it.

Right.

You know?

And then they're like, what do I do?

What's wrong?

And there's nothing wrong.

It's just

the space now.

Yeah, there's like a weird.

I think we are

complete, like, I don't know how to phrase this.

We are basically existing in a space where you and I have been here for so long that algorithmically, we are impossible.

We are impossible to

hone in on because we have done so much over so many years that we don't have.

Like, our brand is us.

Sure.

But that's not necessarily a solid brand.

Yeah.

That makes any sense.

Yes, I know exactly what you mean.

Unless you know us, you don't give a damn about us, right?

And so the equivalent of somebody being like, it's Dodger.

Yeah.

It's Dodger.

And if no one knows,

then what does that mean?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I'm very curious about.

So right now, the current thing

is you have to have a thing.

So you'll notice that there aren't a lot of people streaming, you know, like variety games anymore because that's not a brand.

You're constantly moving around, there's nothing about you that says this is who I am.

And those people who are streaming variety games have to just keep pumping out the games because, unless they,

you know, unless they find one that blows up and sticks with it, they're going to constantly be moving on from one thing to another, and some of those will not be as viewer-heavy as other things.

And so, it's, you know, it's, it's a pain in the ass.

Most people are doing like, okay, I'm the person who does this, or I'm the person who is, who, this is my genre of entertainment.

That's why you see a lot more people who are doing just chatting, but like themed just chatting stuff because it's about creating the brand.

And

it's very noticeable on YouTube as well.

YouTube is like, if your channel does one thing,

you will see growth.

If your channel's all over the place, it's, you know, hit or miss 90% of the time, and you kind of stall out.

And that a great example is, you know, if you look at the people who are doing React content, that's all they do on their channel.

Or if you look at people who are doing like one-off comedy videos, that's all they're doing on their channel.

They're not doing like, here's our podcast thing, and here's the thing.

They're always creating new channels for new things because people want to subscribe to one thing and they don't want to see all the other crap you're doing.

So a great example is I can count all the times I've seen people be like i only watch jesse for scary game squad they don't give a shit about anything else i'm doing sure

but i'm doing other things and scary games going on in all the time so it's like viewership's all over the place

and so you know if you go to watch i guess the great example is donkey is all over the place when it comes to content for sure but it's the same content

Like you know what the goofs are going to be.

You're going there for for the comedy Even though the content's all over the place and it's different things, you know, what's happening.

He's not comedy and vibe are going to be pretty much identical.

Yeah, he's not suddenly going to be like,

I want to talk to you all today about

long-term finance.

Like, that's not happening on that channel.

Yeah.

And so you have these different, you know, what you come to expect.

And when you're kind of all over the place,

there is no, this is what I expect.

And I think a lot of YouTubers and streamers from 10 years ago,

they are the brand, right?

And now it's different.

Now the brand is like the thing you're doing.

And it isn't necessarily about the person because the person doesn't necessarily matter anymore.

Mostly, I assume, because of the TikTok culture of scrolling through, you see all the TikTok celebrities.

And then when they go to an event, no one cares because no one cares, right?

And so...

It's like a different beast entirely.

And I am constantly mesmerized by it.

And so I want, like,

I want to be able able to test and look at and work with and figure out the new world of the internet.

But even then, I can't.

Because like, I was talking with YouTube the other day about my own channel and the algorithms and like how to look for trends and stuff.

And they were like, you really can't.

Your channel's so old.

All this information doesn't.

Like, it's not, there is no real way to judge this information because we've done so many different things.

Well, we've done so many different things over so many that the algorithm is like,

you know, and it also, because I have 15 years of an audience that

a lot of the people just don't even use it anymore.

And so the algorithm doesn't know what to, it's a giant pain in the ass.

And so they literally like the best way to determine something algorithmically and look at the way things work online is to start something completely new, focus just on one thing and see what happens.

And I was like, oh, okay.

I guess I'll start something completely new.

Yeah, we'll be doing that.

Thank you, though.

I was about to ask, is that why?

I mean, I know mentally the reason why sometimes people delete a bunch of their old content, but I was wondering if algorithmically there was a benefit to that as well.

Like basically, telling the system like, ignore that.

Ignore all that shit.

It would be like if I deleted all of my coffee time vlogs right i was like ignore those i don't do those anymore ignore that now what do you think of me you know honestly that is what a lot of people do is they will remove old content that doesn't generate views still because it just sits there and then they will also say there's a oh man i'm trying to remember who it was one of like really big old school

YouTubers like one of those guys I don't want to say rocket jump but you know like in that vein and they were like hey hey, if you don't watch our stuff anymore, unsubscribe.

Please leave.

We don't want you here anymore if you don't want to watch us.

And the reason wasn't because they were like,

you know, being dicks.

The reason is they were kind of doing that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They were doing like the like, get out of here.

Go.

We don't like that kind of like pushing people away.

Really because algorithmically, if people aren't watching,

they are hurting you.

So if I have a

look at what percentage of your subscribers actually watch you and make determinations based on that.

Yes.

Yeah.

And algorithmically, it is better to have fewer subscribers who watch more than a ton of subscribers and they watch whenever the hell they want, which is like a huge problem on my channel.

Having all this 15 years of subscribers and half of them are like, I don't even use the internet anymore.

It's a massive hit to your channel and there's nothing you can do about it because the algorithm says like, all these people aren't watching.

Bro, my last video that I put up was six years ago on press hard to continue.

I still have 715,000 subscribers.

Like, if I were to put a video up right now,

how many of them would watch a thing?

I feel like it would be more beneficial to just start a new channel potentially, right?

Based on this conversation.

Yes, that is exactly what the algorithm is saying right now is it's better to start something completely new and have it focused than try to relaunch something old.

Yeah, that's it.

That's what it is.

And if you were to upload something to that channel, if people

don't get it, because admittedly

it won't be sent to everyone because people haven't wanted, let's say, someone hasn't gone to your channel in six years.

They're not going to get suddenly just a random update from YouTube that says, hey, Dodge is back.

They would have to find it somehow.

Yeah.

Because

the algorithm is not going to just send your stuff to people now.

Right.

You know, it's like a snowball effect.

For everyone who's like, Jesse, I haven't seen one of your videos in a while.

That's because you stopped watching.

I didn't do that.

You stopped watching.

And the algorithm said, well, they don't care anymore.

So we're not going to send it.

Yeah.

That's a you problem.

And if that's the case, then, you know, I don't know how to help you.

And I've, I've acted, I've been the consumer in that situation before too, where I've been like, you know what?

I'm kind of like cooked out on this channel.

I've watched a lot of videos from this channel recently.

I want to start watching something new.

And when I think back, I'm like, wait, oh my God, what was the name of that channel?

And I wind up, I can't find it again.

I wind up having to like scroll through all of my subscriptions to try and be like, shit, who was it?

Because it will just stop sending you the videos if it's like, oh, you don't like that anymore.

Okay.

Yeah.

And then on the flip side, if you watch exactly one video of something, it'll send you 8 million of that video.

Yeah.

Like comically large amounts of that.

And you're just like, what the hell?

Okay.

Oh, speaking of algorithm.

Oh my God.

I was sent.

I had to prove this, by the way, because it sounded crazy.

Okay.

I was sent a video on TikTok.

that was like,

hey,

this is, you know, how

guys and girls talk.

And it was like a comedy video, right?

Okay.

I don't, I don't know what the deal was.

Oh,

if I were to give you details, I couldn't because I was like half interested in what this was.

Okay.

But the thing that made it, actually, hold on.

I'm going to find this exact.

I'm not going to cheese this story.

I'm not going to make it up.

I'm going to tell you the truth.

Okay.

This was a story about

it was a TikTok that devolved into like a creepy lady's face.

I don't know if you can see this.

I don't like this

Okay, it was like a creep like this.

Do you see this?

This creep like this thing

This.

I hate this.

I hate this.

Whatever this is.

Okay.

Yeah, it's weird.

Anyway, so I clicked that video.

Yeah.

And I don't know what happened, but my next scroll up

was

If you're a gooter, here are your top 10 videos you need to watch.

And I'm like, what?

Scrolled again.

Next scroll up was some girl who was like, the best way to goon, if you're a gooner.

And I'm like,

what is happening?

Scroll up again.

And it's literally like a man doing this.

And it says, like, best video on the internet.

And it is very clearly porn.

And I'm like,

what is happening right now?

What happened?

I have no clue.

And I kept scrolling.

And finally, I had to shut it off, reopen TikTok, and it was fine again.

And I was like, I don't know what algorithmically happened there, but I watched a video of this creepy old lady, and suddenly everything was just like,

hey, man, are you gooning?

And I'm like, I'm not even sure I know what gooning means.

What are we doing?

Oh, my God.

I was like, I have no idea.

I clearly was sent to the weird part of TikTok.

And I was like, I don't like it here.

Yeah.

Man.

Thankfully, it reset when I reloaded, but it was like weirdness.

For a brief moment, I was like, this is the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my life.

I have no idea why this exists.

And I was led in on the fact that, yeah, there's some weird parts to

TikTok.

Yeah.

And I also understand I don't really know the algorithm at all.

So that's

that.

Speaking of things that work and things that don't, can I take us in a completely different direction?

Please do.

So

when we were doing pre-show, no, not even when we were doing pre-show, when we were muted while the intro was running, we were goofing about

minions.

What was the crossover?

Minions crossed over with Lion King.

And it made me think to myself,

potentially, because we keep asking for new Muppet movies, you know, like Muppet Treasure Island, Muppet Christmas Carol, right?

Sure.

People have been like, man, a Muppet Pride and Prejudice would go so hard, right?

Like, there's so many options.

I feel like, and I'm going to throw this out into the world.

I feel like before we get a new Muppet movie, we're going to get that idea, but with minions.

One can only hope.

One can only hope.

I love a good minion.

I'm not going to lie.

I think it's going to happen.

I think somebody's going to be like, shoot, we've made like eight of these fucking movies.

How can we use these Bobbity Boos?

Yeah.

And

they're going to somehow get the rights to a classic piece of literature and make a minions version.

I'm telling you.

Now I really want, I just saw in chat Muppet Elden Ring.

I want minion Elden Ring.

Minion Elden Ring.

Can we mod that?

Can the PC version mod minions in?

So every character you make is a minion.

It is just a minion fighting giant monstrosities.

And he's like, banana.

And then it's like, I'll kill you.

He's like,

I bet somebody's made a minion mod.

I don't know if it's good, but I bet somebody's made a minion mod.

You mean the heroes, the real heroes?

I bet the heroes have made a minion mod.

Banana.

Banana.

And attacks them.

Yeah.

That's.

The A24 movie is in fact minion Elden Ring.

Yeah, that's happening.

It's happening.

Yeah.

Anyway, I just really needed to people, number one, to know that we were talking about Minions Cross Over with the Lion King while we were muted.

And number two, that my mind immediately went, maybe that's our future.

Maybe, maybe that's...

Maybe we'll get some of that one day.

I love that.

I'm genuinely here for it.

I'd watch it.

I know

the minions suck.

I'm aware, but I love them either way.

I don't care.

I'm aware the minions aren't great, but I just don't care.

I like them.

And I will say it and be proud of it.

Yeah.

I went and saw the new Mission Impossible movie, which is, you know, Tom Cruise just throwing himself at action sequences.

Okay.

Can't go wrong with that.

I will say, however.

That as a fan of the Mission Impossible movies, we peaked years ago.

The last two have kind of been whatever.

It's Tom Cruise fighting in evil AI, I guess, is the way to go.

It's fine.

It's all right.

The last one was, you know, they're kind of hit and miss.

I was thinking about this after I saw the movie, and I will say that

my order for Mission Impossible movies, which have been around for 30 years,

which is crazy.

Mission Impossible 1,

actually, if I had to order them, I'd say the worst is Mission Impossible 2.

That movie sucks.

I don't, that movie's terrible.

And then Mission Impossible 1 and 3 would be kind of on, like, I guess above that on the order of, like, I think three is probably better than one, but the first three, I just don't care about.

They just don't do it for me.

They never have.

Three, I think, is like...

At least they're trying to make a movie that I think is fun, but I don't know.

What is it about four that just launches it for you?

I don't know.

It's kind of like the Fast and the Furious movies.

At some point they just said, F it, let's have fun.

Like the first movie at its core is a spy thriller with a few action sequences.

Eventually, this man is sprint running on top of roofs, jumping out windows, fighting nuclear bombs and shit.

And it's great.

Suddenly it becomes Fast and Furious insanity, and I love that.

Like Ghost Protocol.

with the fourth movie has like a fun vibe to it but it i'm gonna say rogue Nation and Fallout, Fallout's the best one.

I don't care what anyone says, Mission Impossible, Fallout.

If you had to watch one Mission Impossible movie, that's the one.

It's awesome.

Not only does it feature villains from a previous movie, but it also features Henry Cavill cocking his arms like a goddamn gun.

It's the coolest thing I've ever seen in my entire life.

Yeah, and the final fight is like

helicopter duel was going to be, by the way.

He had no idea how cool that was going to look.

Fallout rocks.

That movie rocks.

And then, yeah, the last two have kind of been.

been.

I don't know.

It's like the plot, it like is, I don't know.

It's like, I'm the bad guy.

I work for the rogue AI.

It's going to give me everything I want because it's a robot.

It's like, okay, that's your motivation, bad guy.

Like, okay.

It has some really amazing set pieces and stunts and stuff, the last two, but it's like also...

All right, it was a fine movie.

It wasn't, you know, it was a seven out of 10.

It's like, it's all right.

Sure.

Yeah, no.

Fallout's the best one.

If you had to watch any, Fallout, and if you need context after watching Fallout, then go watch the others because, like, who's that bad guy?

And why is he here?

They explain it all.

You don't need to, you don't need to be a genius.

Every character's like, who's that?

Oh, that's his ex-wife.

They had to separate because he lives a life of danger and she wanted to live a normal life.

And it's like, wow, that's super interesting.

It's how I feel about Fastifurious 10.

That movie is

insane.

And it's, but it literally, the entire movie's like,

oh, that guy?

That's Dominic Toretto.

He started stealing combination DVD VCRs, but now he flies in space.

And it's like, I don't need to watch the other movies.

You told me everything I need to know right there.

You know what I feel like not enough people do?

There are so many people that are like, yeah, I watched all of the Fast and the Furiousies

from one

to ten all in a row.

I think it would be so fun to just do a double feature of the first first movie and the 10th movie.

The whiplash would be amazing.

It's so funny because in the first movie, literally the biggest stunt is like, we got to drive under this truck in order to hijack a truck.

And the last in 10, literally.

There is back-to-back scenes in which John Cena is driving a truck that shoots off death charges, followed by Dominic Toreto and his son, Little B,

driving down the side of a dam while Jason Momoa shoots rockets at them.

Like,

there's no way, there's no way.

How on earth do you explain from first to 10th?

You just don't.

However, I love the 10th movie so much because it literally is like, there's no rules.

We're bringing back everyone.

And more importantly, Jason Momoa is going to be the Joker circa a like frat party.

Like frat boy just, it's just the whole thing is pure insanity.

I love every minute of it, and I simply don't care.

It's just so much fun.

Yeah.

They have gotten to the point where they can make anything and people will watch it.

So

might as well just go so insanely ham every time.

I don't even know if that's true.

The amount of movies people make that no one cares about is out of control.

There's so many releases we had over the last year that are like

furious movies.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, to be honest, I think because it's like pure dumb entertainment, and I genuinely believe that

there's a lot of stupid people in the world.

So, like, I get it.

And one of, as someone who enjoys pure dumb entertainment, I get why

people watch.

I don't want to have to think.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I understand.

I get it.

I don't want to think about it.

It would, it, it would make me mad.

My brain.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, you know, Mission Impossible is fun,

but they do the same thing every movie where it's like, Ethan,

the government has disavowed everything you've done.

You're wanted by the U.S.

government.

You done it again.

You're just too, there's too much.

You're too out of control.

You're just the worst.

Thanks for saving the world.

Like, that's every one of them.

And you're like, all right, okay.

Yeah.

Sure.

Like, even the last one, it was like, Ethan,

we're going to go through your rap sheet of all the terrible things you've done, but you're the only person who can stop this rogue AI from launching all the nukes.

And you're like,

okay,

all right, okay.

And it's the same thing.

Like, at least with Fast and Furious, they're like,

Well,

you fought a hacker and saved the government from being hacked.

So we know know we can trust you with going to space.

Well, you've gone to space.

So at least we know that you can handle the g-force of driving this car around a corner so fast your skull explodes.

Like, okay, well, you know you can drive that car so fast your skull won't explode.

So we're going to have you fight a man with rockets and throw him through a window.

And it's like, we know you can't get hurt by windows or falling a thousand feet.

So we're going to have you jump off this mountain.

And it keeps building on itself.

Just one last ride.

Dom.

Just one last ride ride for the family

for little B.

For little B.

Shout out to Little B.

For little B.

Small boy, little B.

He's like, Dad, are we in trouble?

He's like, No, son, we're not in trouble.

Jason Miller was like, Oh, you're in trouble.

Oh, you're in trouble, bitch.

Yeah, yeah.

At least they have that going for it.

I don't know.

I just like some good, solid trash movies.

And yes, I will say, and trash isn't the right word.

I'm talking like popcorn flick summer movie, but I love those and I will never not.

I played a bunch of stuff this week.

Have you played some stuff?

The only thing I managed to play this week was a lot, but the only thing I managed to play, that's all I'm gonna say about that.

The only thing I managed to actually play was at home, I'm going through Skull, the SKUL game.

Oh, yeah.

Only because I haven't actually

beat it ever.

How far did you get in that game?

I don't remember, to be honest.

I played it when it first came out.

So, Skull is a game where you,

for the audience, you are a little skull boy, a little skeleton, and you switch heads, and each head is a different thing.

So, you can get anything from like a knight to a little spear guy to a samurai to a ninja to Thor to there's a rock band one where you where you're a rock skull and you guitar out and then if you hit a certain threshold a whole band shows up and attacks the screen there's all sorts of stuff you can be a lich you can be whatever there's a bunch of different heads and you replace them and then it's a platforming rogue like

and you run around and you die and you restart and you

anyway i am not very good at it and uh it takes a while to get through stuff and so one of the things that that was interesting is finally finally beat the game.

Killed the first hero, got an ending.

The dark prince was like, thanks for saving me.

I was trying to be friends with the humans, but they're bad people.

And I was like, awesome.

And then

I don't know if this is something they added and I wasn't aware of because I've never heard anyone talk about this.

And I feel like maybe I shouldn't.

I don't know.

The minute you are done, it does, because I guess there's like a, yeah, there's a whole thing that happens and it's like enter the dark mirror.

I'm like, what do you mean?

It's like enter the dark mirror.

I'm like, okay.

And you enter the dark mirror and now it's like, oh, here's the real game.

Here's the game.

Yeah.

And I was like, wait, what?

So now it's a whole other game that's like, yeah, this is a different reality where like.

the demon castle is completely destroyed and the humans have like better units and shit.

And I'm like, oh, okay.

So then you have to go through that.

You go through it once on zero and then once on level one.

And then when you hit level two, it suddenly starts doing another story.

There's like an intro and it's like,

I think some Japanese dude, I don't know, but he's like talking to you about being the first hero.

And I'm like, are we getting deep lore now?

Suddenly the game is a whole other thing.

It's 50 times harder and I certainly haven't beat it, but like

it's cool though, right?

I love when games

create a situation where you're like, oh, this is a fun, simple sort of thing that I'm doing here.

I couldn't believe it.

I was like, shut up.

I thought this was just, because I got it on PlayStation Plus when it was free.

So my, my need to beat it, my desire to, I was like,

it's fine.

Yeah, it's a whole thing.

It's a tough game, but it is, there's like a deep layer to it.

I was like, oh,

okay, I like where this is going.

Yeah.

From what I can tell, there's a true ending, and that's what I'm trying to get get to but

i don't have this skill someone else oh i'm glad you're enjoying it yeah such a good game i mean you could you have the yitub you could just hop on a youtube and find the ending yeah

if you don't plan on playing it you know

yeah

support a fellow youtuber jesse come on now

Yeah, but I don't know which YouTuber the video would be from.

What if I

what if I click on the video and it's really informative?

I'm like, wow, this guy was great.

And then I see his screen name and it's like

women in the kitchen.

Then I'm the bad guy.

Sure.

Just saying.

You never know.

You're anonymous, but so are they.

Right, right, right.

Yeah,

you never know.

I mean, maybe a way to get around that is to check their channel name before you click on the video so that you're not jump scared by youtube.com slash women in the kitchen.

You know, what if it's

what if it's youtube.com/slash women in the kitchen and it's and it's just like a cute mom

doing game content?

First off,

if it was her from her kitchen doing game content, hilarious, love it.

Second off,

where's the line?

When does it suddenly go back to being like, okay, now we're offensive again?

Like, if she's in the kitchen playing games, but also like she has got a baby here.

Are we there yet?

Or if she's in the kitchen and she has a baby and she's also cooking while playing games, are we like, where's the line?

I think that would just make her more impressive to me.

Like, what the fuck do you mean you're making dinner and taking care of a baby and beating the final boss of skull?

Shut the fuck up.

That's feminism, dude.

That's crazy.

Hell yeah.

Yeah.

Well, that's all I did, really.

I know there's a lot of

demos that came out, and I know that there's a lot of stuff happening, but I don't.

I haven't got a chance to do anything.

I did a sponsored stream for a game called Jumping Jazz Cats.

It's a multiplayer game, and it's the goofiest shit.

in the world.

You can play with up to nine people.

You're all different cats, and it takes you into different like levels where you have a goal and a modifier to the level.

So the goal might be jump through as many hoops as possible in the time limit, but the modifier might be every 20 seconds.

there are weird little monster like there are dogs that chase you around and try to bite you right and you have to run away from the dogs but you're still trying to jump through the hoops right it's stuff like that and you can do like a little tournament with you and eight other friends that are all cats.

And it's hilarious.

It was like a really cute game.

We had a blast.

I thought it was so funny.

The more that you play, you get to like buy little accessories for your cat.

So you can dress up your cat for the levels.

It's adorable.

It's really cute.

It's, I think,

seven bucks, eight, nine, something like that.

Yeah, for just a fun little multiplayer goof'em up game.

It's very cute.

It is extremely cute.

Looking at this, I'm like, all right.

It's adorable.

Yeah.

It's adorable.

Yeah, all the cats are very, very cute.

So we played that.

Another sponsored thing, but I would have played this anyway, is The Siege and the Sandfox.

Have you heard of that game?

No.

Let me be clear.

90% of the games you play, I've never heard of.

Okay.

You play games that are like the snail and the dilophagus.

Yep.

John's jumping journey.

Yeah.

Emotions.

Do you feel them?

The siege and the sand.

Sleepy times.

The siege.

So this game is really cool.

It's a Metroidvania, but it is entirely stealth-based.

And I was saying, I think since lots of new like Prince of Persia games have been coming out, people have been talking more about...

wanting proper like stealth games and we haven't gotten a lot of them or any really in a while.

So, this is a Metroidvania.

You have like the proper map, you collect, you know, or like expand on your abilities as you play, you have side quests, all of the lovely Metroidvania things, but it is a non-combat game.

There are enemies all over the place, but your skill set is entirely about not getting caught,

slipping into the shadows, picking locks.

It's got cool mechanics like when you stand still, you're able to hear like where people are.

So you can sort of pinpoint like what areas you need to be more careful in.

It's cool, man.

It's really cool.

I was saying the only thing that frustrated me a little bit is I've, I play so many Metroidvanias and I'm used to being able to move around really quickly.

You can move around,

but like.

The game requires you to really take your time going from place to place because this you have like half a hit point, man.

The second someone sees you, if they touch you with a pinky, you die.

You know, it is a non-combat game.

So, yeah, you it's a lot slower, I would say, than other Metroidvanias.

Side note: if you liked, I believe her name is Amelia Talon's narration in Baldur's Gate, narrated this game.

Amelia, Tyler, Tyler, Tyler, Tyler, narrated this game and did a great job, but it's very cool.

The

story, yes,

how big is it?

Because you saying you're not moving around fast

plus big

platformy Metroidvania.

Like, how...

It looks like the map's decently sized.

Yeah.

Hmm.

Like, can you move around?

Like, I'm trying to figure out if I would go insane playing this.

Because the idea of not being able to fight already, I'm like, okay.

All right.

I'm not sure how I'd react to that.

But if it's huge, but I got to like slowly move through it.

I wonder how after a while I'd be like,

let's, let's move on.

Let's keep going.

Let's go.

Yeah, wiggle on.

Yeah.

I think one of the things that they do to try and combat that is you have fast travel right away.

There's a fast travel system built in pretty quickly, but it's not like

you can just open up the map and immediately pop to any of the fast travel points.

It's like you have to go to one of the other fast travel points and then you can go to one that you've unlocked, you know?

But they do give you fast travel from the get-go

for whatever that's worth.

You do have to move around slower.

The lockpicking element allows you to open up more

ways to get places.

So at first, you're kind of locked in on the path that you have to take.

But the game does a pretty good job of also helping you double back to areas.

So if there's an area that you couldn't get to before,

the main story quest will sort of naturally guide you back to that area.

And the narration will be like, ah, this wall might be quite easy for me now, that kind of a thing.

Gotcha.

But yeah, I'm also curious because I really enjoyed the mechanics and I like how different it feels, but I'm curious how long it would take before I'd be like, man, I just really want to like

kill a guy though, you know?

I just really want to like run through and slash a few dudes, but I can't.

I can't do that.

It's not that game.

So,

yeah, that's my, I, I, from having played the new-ish Prince of Persia, my big takeaway from that is I loved the combat.

I loved being able to pull off some, like, really cool parry things, and it would give you, like, great cutscenes, and the boss fights were amazing.

But I swear to God, any of those platforming sections where you had to hook onto a hook to the hook, and you had to like go under, like, I would rather pull out my toenails than ever do that again.

Like, that, that was, I hate that stuff.

Platforming is not in my blood.

I just, yeah, like double jumping and doing like a psh and like, okay, sure.

Or doing like a cool, I'm swinging from ropes and that's pretty fun.

But doing like, well, avoiding laser beams and also trying to avoid buzzsaws, try to get through this weird puzzle and in the end, you get one eighth of a heart piece.

I'm like.

Yo, you suck for this.

Sam is in chat right now, my sweet sweet love.

He also played this game and said you can take down enemies.

As far as I got, you have a little baton that you find.

And if you can sneak up behind someone who's sleeping, you can knock them out.

But it's not like you can run through and just

if they know that you're coming, they'll just shink and you just die.

So,

but yeah, cool.

I'm, I am happy that that

somebody was like, let's make a proper stealth game, you know, but it does slow down the exploration experience of a normal Metroidvania.

So

yeah.

That's cool.

I yeah, I can't

it's interesting to me that both the games you talked about the cat game, I'm like, yo, okay.

That looks super cute and fun.

I'd have to get a whole group of people to play that.

So that's probably not going to happen happen for me.

And then this, I'm like, okay, yeah, I like the idea of sneaking, but I also like the idea of just being like, F it, let's go.

I'm murdering everybody, which is so funny because you have done

haven't you?

Didn't you do like a completely non-combat dishonored run before?

Yeah, yeah, but that, like,

this sounds insane.

If a game tells me I can't kill,

I get mad that I can't kill.

But if a game is based on the fact that you can run around murdering people, but lets you do stuff without killing, I'm like, oh, I have to do that.

Like, same thing with Baldur's Gate 3.

They literally are like, yeah, no, you can be this evil guy.

And at every turn, you'll be tempted with evil.

And I literally was like, what happens if I don't do that?

And they're like, we don't know.

So my whole let's play was being the evil guy who rejected being evil evil the entire time just to see what would happen.

And that's, I constantly do that.

And I don't know why.

It's just part of me.

Like, I don't know if it's something in me where it's like, you told me that I could do this.

So I'm going to see if you're bullshitting me.

Yeah.

Or

I just am an asshole contrarian.

Like, I don't, I don't know what's going on.

A contrarian on both shoulders, you know, one with devil horns, one with angel wings.

Yeah.

But they're both assholes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, even in

Deus Ex, my my favorite gaming moment ever was the prison where they're like, there's gas, and you have to pump the gas either into the prisoner's cells or the scientists' cells.

You only have these two choices.

And I was like, no, bitch.

And I broke the mechanics and it was like, the gas doesn't pump anymore.

You saved everyone.

And I was like,

am I a god?

That's how I, that's what I want to feel in games.

If you're going to give me choices, I hate when choices are like

choice A, choice B, choice C, no matter what, you get the same outcome.

Yeah, like that's not a choice.

You didn't give me a choice, you just gave me some flair, and that's fine, but uh, you know, don't pretend that it's choice, right?

Like, if it's there, because like we want your character to say whatever they want to say, but it's just, you know, because your character, we're giving your character a little like chutzpah, that's fine, but don't make it pretend like it's a choice where it's like, this will really affect things.

Like, will it?

Like, um,

I

also choice where the ending makes no sense.

Like,

I will look, I'm not going to spoil everything, but the most recent Dragon Age game.

At the end of the game, they do that thing that

I'm about to say, Bethesda, good God,

that Bioware does all the time, which is it's the last mission.

Everyone can die, so you better make the right choices.

So I picked a guy who has the ability to fly to handle a thing.

I thought, oh, the ability to fly man can handle this.

Everyone makes it through except a billy to fly guy who literally, a rock falls from above, and I'm like, this man can turn into a demon and fly.

And he looks up and goes, haul, and dies.

And I was like,

all right, I'm not upset he died.

I'm upset that's how he died.

Like that is the dumbest way.

He's not going to try to wing it.

So to speak.

No, he looks up and like stares at it and it keeps falling and it's very ominous like damn this guy's going gonna die and he just gets crushed

and i was like of all the stupid it made me mad it was more upset because there was like people from bywear in the chat and i literally just want to be like what were y'all thinking what what what were y'all thinking is this like i'm not again i'm not upset with my choices i'm not gonna reload stuff i'm not gonna do things like that it just doesn't make sense that that's how he died.

Like if he would have been stabbed like through the gut with a thing or he would have gone out like a G saving someone, whatever, that's fine.

But he just stood there and took it.

And I was like, that's the stupidest damn thing I've ever seen.

It just made no sense.

And I hate that.

I hate when it's like, well, I made a choice and it makes sense to me and logically, it should be fine.

And it's like,

what?

What?

What?

It was kind of moon logic-y.

I hate that stuff.

It drives me crazy.

I need, I need to be able, if you're going to do things, give me logic.

Give me like, oh, well, you could do this and it makes sense rather than we did a thing and like deal with it.

I hate that.

Not a fan.

Sorry, I'm getting a bunch of messages from my mother-in-law.

Oh,

are the chickens out again?

They're not.

The chickens are doing great.

I gave them new bark mulch today.

What the hold on, hold on.

I can figure out what's going on.

Is your child

pooping

on

the sheep?

No.

Is water

leaking into

the shed?

No.

Did she find a body on the property and it looks like Sam?

No.

That would be the best version.

That'd be crazy.

That would have been crazy.

Who's the man in your home?

No.

What would have made it truly crazy is that I was like, okay.

Anyway.

Anyway, sorry, my mother-in-law's bugging me about something.

She keeps saying that, like, she found Sam.

Of course, Sam's in the room over there.

What are you talking about?

I could also find Sam.

Yeah, like, okay.

Call me when you do something impressive, you know?

Oh, by the way, yo, there is.

I don't know what's going on, but there's a whole trend of dudes on TikTok now making horror, like short-form horror films.

They're great.

I don't know what

happened.

I'm a little worried they're using AI because it looks like

that kind of thing.

But it also could just be dudes doing, like, there's this one guy, and he constantly like, it's really funny because the comments are exactly what you would think.

But

there is a, it's like a, you know, average-looking dude, but it's these two girls dressed all in black with like crazy long nails and like creepy ass faces.

And they're like, yeah, right.

And it's him where he puts his headphone, like one of the videos, he puts his headphones on and he's sitting there.

But when he puts them on, these two girls show up in his room and they're like, and he takes them off and they're gone.

He's like, huh, and he puts them back on.

They're like creeping closer, like that kind of thing.

Okay.

Except all the comments are like,

I would.

I'm like the internet.

I knew what you were going to say.

I knew what you were going to say.

And I was holding hope.

That it was going to be something different.

No, all the comments were like, yo, if those two girls were in my room, I'd be fine with them being demons.

And I was like, you guys.

Get a grip.

Yeah, like, I can fix her, though.

And it's literally like this, like, she got shit, like, goop hanging out.

She's like, yeah, right?

Like, yo, but like, is she single though?

That's the funniest thing.

I was like, they made a decent, really cool horror short.

And you guys are like, yo.

Would.

I would do that.

What?

Yeah.

This is why you got all the gooning videos.

If that's the, if that's what it took, if watching a horror film and then looking in the comments of people being like,

yeah,

that monster's hot, is what gets me videos that are like, top 10 videos to goon to.

First off, why would you make that?

Second off, what?

Oh, no.

I didn't stay to watch the whole video, and now I kind of wish I did because I really want to know what it is.

Part of me assumes it's going to be like,

you know, weird links to like Rule 34 videos.

But the real part of me hopes it's like top 10 movies to goon to.

Number one, Shawshank Redemption.

Number two.

Yeah, Apollo 13.

Number three.

We bought a zoo.

And you just know that the comments on that video were like, oh man, I love that movie.

But they were like, that's just going to be so normal.

Yeah.

Those actually are very good movies.

Great list, bro.

Yeah, it's just the IMDb top 10 list.

Exactly.

Yeah.

That's actually a really funny goof.

Like top 10 movies, the all right, Gooners.

Top 10 movies, the goo.

Number one, Josh, it's just the

Casablanca.

Number two, like what?

Forest Gum.

That's a really good goof.

You should make that video and see how it does.

The Godfather.

I don't want my face associated with gooning.

Are you kidding me?

That's the last thing.

I'm already terrified from this episode.

That's the last thing I need.

Just don't call it top 10 movies to goon to, and we'll be fine.

Oh, you have to.

You have to do that.

That's part of the goof.

You have to.

I already existed once you're in.

Don't call this episode that.

Why would I do that?

Why would I name this episode top 10 videos to goon to?

Your face was not going to be associated with that unless you called this video something suspicious.

Well, what would you call this episode then?

Minion Pride and Prejudice.

Minion Elden Ring.

Minion Pride and Prejudice.

Like,

I don't even know what that would track to.

And then who would click Minion Pride and Prejudice?

Oh, and then it could be two minions and then our faces like a filter.

No one would watch this video.

No one would watch this video ever.

It would not happen.

Please, please.

Fine, you know what?

For you, I want people to know.

I am doing this for Dodger.

And when no one clicks on this video and it has the lowest viewership of anyone we've ever done, I want everyone to understand that

that's how the algorithm works.

We will be punished for this.

We will be punished for putting minion bodies with our faces.

Wait, minion impossible.

Jesus Christ.

I gotta run.

It's a combination of things.

Minion

impossible.

This sucks.

This is the worst.

This is the stupidest.

All right, give me a minion face.

We gotta get our faces for minion.

We got a minion.

All right.

Oh, no.

This sucks.

This sucks.

This is the worst.

This is the worst thing we've ever done.

And I mean that, sincerely.

i mean that this sucks it sucks so much ass give me another minion face go

nope nope that is

nope

nope

nope it'll be this face but you have to combine my eyes under one giant eye

okay

no hold on we need give come on do it again you laughed you laughed too hard you laughed too hard

you can't you can't laugh at yourself.

It sucks so badly.

Oh, I hate it.

Oh, I hate it so much.

This is a goof that is unnecessary.

It will not gain us any new followers or subscribers.

If anything, people will unsub because of this.

One second.

You good?

You okay?

We lost her.

That's it.

She, uh,

she laughed herself stupid.

Now she's gone.

We got to make sure this video blows up.

It won't.

It won't.

You can do all you want.

You can do all you want to try to get this video to be popular on the internet.

It won't be.

it won't be

oh

boy

it'd be great youtube short though maybe

maybe

laughing at herself is a dodger classic that's true i can i ask a question dodger's not here so i'm gonna ask this in the background she's got a wall and that wall has mushrooms on it do you think those are real mushrooms because with Dodger, it could be 50-50.

Like, it could be, those could be real.

Oh, welcome back.

Welcome back.

My child came in shirtless with a baby bird in her hands.

And I was like, okay, not right now.

Not right now, dude.

She was like,

I must stress.

Yeah.

this show with you and doing Chiluminati with Alex,

when we do Tuluminati, Alex's dog barks all the time.

And I'm so annoyed by it.

Yeah.

And doing the show with you, Clarky's walking in doing the craziest things.

And every, I just realize that knowing all of you only helps me know myself better.

And that I don't know.

You know how to protect your peace now.

Yeah.

Better than I.

I couldn't do any of this.

You're all just better than me at caring for others, I think is what I've learned.

And I just can't, unless you're Jason Omoa pretending to be the Joker via a frat house, I just can't care.

Sure,

right?

Unless you're doing a top 10 gooner list, I just can't care.

Children, trash, pets, trash, life, trash.

Jason Omoa gooning

art.

Quote that.

that.

Quote that, gang.

Also,

don't do that.

Don't quote that.

I also played the new Monster Train game.

Ah,

yes.

The card game where you fight monsters, I assume, on a train.

Yes.

Monster Train 2 is great.

If you liked Monster Train 1, it's more of the same with some added mechanics.

They've added in equipment.

So for anybody who hasn't played a a monster train game, you're literally on a train.

You have three levels that you can place units on.

And in the first game, you are minions from hell.

There are various different clans that represent different types of demons.

And you always choose two clans.

And so it's both of their base decks mixed together.

So there's like cool ways to have different forms of synergy depending on what clans you pick, right?

You place your demons and then angels are trying to stop the train.

This sounds so lame, but I promise it's really fun.

Angels are trying to stop the train.

They come in on the bottom level and they slowly go up.

So if you can't kill them on the bottom level, they'll go up to the second level.

Can't kill them on the second level, they'll go up to the third.

Above the third is what's called your pyre.

It's basically like you're...

the the heart of the train if it's destroyed your run is over right so if they get to the top and they do enough damage to the pyre you have to start over.

In the base game, you had unit cards and you had spells.

So something that they've added in, oh, and like trinkets, like Slay the Spire style trinket, like things that passively do something for your run in general.

So they added in equipment.

So you can put weapons and armor and things on different units.

There's like

armor as it exists in the game originally, which is is like, you know, certain units can place armor, but once it gets ticked down, it's gone.

But like, this is like armor they put on that's persistently there unless the unit dies.

And then they also have what are called room cards now,

which is something that applies to just that level of the train.

So

one of the room cards that I got was like, all spells here are minus one energy.

So if I was casting a spell on the bottom row,

pretty much all of my spells were zero cost because I didn't have a lot of high cost cards, right?

There are room cards that apply to specific types of cards.

And like, there's one that's just like, at the end of every turn, does 50 damage to every unit on the floor.

So if I get that card, I just put it on the top floor and I don't put any units up there.

I just let that be the last line of defense, just like try and kill those things, whatever gets up to that floor, you know?

Yeah.

and then you do fights, fights, fights, fights, fights, and they get gradually harder and harder and harder.

Once you've beaten it, you can up the difficulty and keep going.

This one, I think, has incorporated a story in more of a really like front-facing way.

There was a story in the first one, but this one is actively like when you say that you're done for the day, it'll give you a cutscene related to like

characters that you've seen or how much you played that day.

There are new clans because the concept of this one instead of it just being the minions of hell it's the minions of hell and people from heaven working together because big bad angel seraph started seeking out like eldritch sort of power to get stronger and a bunch of the angels were like that what is going on here right so you have some different groups to work with with totally different abilities which is really fun Yeah, I love it.

I think it's great.

If you liked Monster Train 1, I think you'll love Monster Train 2.

It's

not heard of Monster Train 1.

So

I'm going to tell you.

Oh, my gosh.

They're great.

They're fantastic games.

You should try them out.

Yeah.

Do you?

I'm trying to think.

You're okay with a deck builder.

You enjoy a deck builder sometimes.

Yeah.

Deck builders are fun.

I'm not against it.

It comes down to.

Like what kind of fun stuff you can you do with the deck and more importantly how many decks there are like i uh

you know i want options

right but with that said i also think it's a very saturated market so if i miss 90 of the games i you know my bad but there's just too many like i guess because it's like a really you can do a lot with card you know deck builders and create things there's just so many games that yeah i've never even heard of this one Yeah, it's good.

People that love Slay the Spire, sometimes when they play Monster Train, they go, oh, I think this is better.

Yeah, I think anybody who likes Slay the Spire and games like Slay the Spire should try Monster Train.

It has a lot of really cool, unique stuff to it, and I think it's really fun.

So, okay.

Cool.

Yeah.

No, this is, I mean, I'm looking at it now.

It looks neat.

Yeah.

I'm trying to figure out.

So the decks that you can get.

You can mix and match different decks and create different builds.

Is that kind of the vibe?

So in like a normal deck builder, you have your starting cards, right?

And as you play, you add to your deck and maybe get rid of some of your starter cards.

So this one is like, I haven't played much Magic the Gathering, but when you, when you combine like two different types of magic styles together into a, into a deck, so

you have two clans say that you have one clan

where a lot of their cards are about movement.

A lot of their units are about like moving around, swapping places.

And when they swap places, they get benefits, you know?

And then the other start, this is, that's kind of legitimately what the first starting clan is.

And the other starting clan is, I think, called the Pyreborn, and they're a bunch of dragons.

And they're all about accruing money.

So they do lots of like dots.

And there are lots of units that, you know, when they're placed, they can do extra damage if you're willing to pay money or you get money for, you know, killing units or whatever

you will get both of their starting cards mixed together as your beginning deck the thing that you get to choose is which champion you want so like which clan is the front facing clan do i want to be the money grubbing dragon boy or do i want to be the disgraced angel lady you know

and so you get to choose choose that each time.

And mix and matching the clans is really fun because sometimes you'll stumble onto, oh, actually, this clan works really well with this other clan because when they move around, there are actually a lot of cards here that have a shift ability that relates to the moon cycle.

And, you know, when the moon cycle happens, everybody gets a plus to their health or, you know, just stuff like that.

So it's fun.

Yeah, it's really cool.

Interesting.

Okay.

I mean, like,

do I need to do the first one first or can I just jump in?

Jump into the second one.

You don't have to do the first one.

No.

Cool.

But they are not so drastically different that if you played the first one, you'll feel like whiplash with the second one.

It's, it's a return to form in a lot of ways.

You know, it's, it's mostly the same game.

Just new clans and some new mechanics that I think are a boon to it.

So you should just, yeah, just dive right into it.

It's on C?

Yeah.

It's on Steam.

Okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

It's fun.

Get in there.

I'm looking at stuff on Switch right now.

So

I was trying to figure out if it was on the old PC.

I think the first Monster Train is on Switch.

I know it's on mobile.

Monster Train 2 just came out, so I doubt it's on anything other than PC yet.

Somebody said it's on Game Pass.

If you have Game Pass.

Hmm.

Well, there's that.

But yeah, that's mostly what I played.

I also played Schedule One, that like weed game, but I don't feel like I need to talk about that.

That weed game.

The weed game.

Okay.

Yeah, where

you sell weed.

I did that.

It's called Drug Wars on my T85 calculator back in the day.

So I did that.

Oh my gosh.

Shout out to Drug Wars.

I did that instead of math class, and it certainly did me well.

He became a teacher.

Not a math.

That's for sure.

Oh!

Also, people who exclusively listen to geekenders won't have heard this, so I might as well give the follow-up after two weeks of talking about it.

But I passed my exam.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

I saw you tweet about it, and I was like, I'm so proud.

Yeah.

The first time through, I was really fucked up about the questions.

Second time, I I knew all of the answers, except I think, one I was really dicey on, and I passed.

So, I was like, all right.

What was the one you were?

What was the one you were dicey on?

What was the question you were like,

I don't know.

There are questions about all of the countries in the United Kingdom have their own governments that sort of sit under the umbrella of the United Kingdom government, right?

So, there are questions along the lines of like, what can the Scottish Parliament do?

What does the Scottish Parliament have jurisdiction over?

And it'll list a bunch of stuff.

And then you have to either remember or try to like

logic your way through.

Like, okay, probably not defense.

That's probably the United Kingdom in general.

Maybe education or health or.

So I was really dicey on that.

I was like, I honestly don't remember what.

I'm curious.

Do you think it's like

some of these, I often wonder if they want you to forego the logical thought process and just think about like what a citizen should say, you know?

And so, when it's a question that's like, what can the Scottish Parliament do that, you know, won't be ruled over by the, you know, British,

the English Parliament or something?

And it's like the answer is, not a damn thing.

Rule Britannia.

You know, like, like,

there's a list of actual things.

And there's never a none of these.

Not a damn thing.

Rule Britannia.

And it's like, like, you put on your bowler cap, get a cane.

You're like, not a damn thing.

I was talking about how, because, you know, they have, they have

questions about the

Glencoe clan massacre and stuff like that.

And someone in chat was like, I'm really surprised that they want you to know about that because that's people in England, like really fucking over people in Scotland, right?

And I was like, Yeah, but don't you think that it would be like, number one,

we should know that stuff, but number two, like this test is supposed to represent all of the United Kingdom.

If they were like, no, all that really weird shit that we did in Wales and Northern Ireland and Scotland, those didn't happen.

England's amazing.

Like, I think the other countries, when people are taking this exact test in Northern Ireland, they'd be like, what the fuck is this?

You know?

So, yeah, just remember, it's not just English people taking this test.

They have to represent

the entire United Kingdom.

Yeah.

That's just the American in me who definitely has seen the American test.

And it's like,

I don't think we'd do a whole section on like.

How many native people did we kill in order to take the land from them, in order to set up our state system?

Like, I don't think that's included.

Yeah.

But, uh you know

interesting that they have a lot of that in the uk version yeah

but i passed i passed congrats what does that get you exactly so i have to pass the test in order to so everybody keeps being like yay you're a citizen that is not what's happening basically you have to pass that test in order to pursue permanent residency or citizenship.

So now that I've completed the test, I am allowed to submit the paperwork saying, I'd like to live here long term, please.

It's called the ILR, indefinite leave to remain.

I can stay here indefinitely as long as they approve it.

But the hardest part, because

typically everything else that's involved, you've already done if you've been here on a visa for a while.

You've already had to submit all the same bullshit.

The big new thing that you would have to do is this test.

So now that I've done the test, I submit all the same stuff that I typically do.

And then they either say, Actually, I think you're a troublemaker.

Get out.

Or they say, Nice.

Welcome.

Welcome.

It is not citizenship, though.

It is, you live here, but you cannot vote.

Sure.

So now why wouldn't you?

Why wouldn't you try to get citizenship then?

Because I would have to give up my American citizenship.

America won't let me have both.

So that's something to consider, I think, for a while, if that's what I would want, you know.

Okay.

So you've, you've, as an American, from what I'm hearing,

as an American,

you

have

foregone and given up years,

260-some

years

of

no taxation without representation,

gone back to England and and said, I freely do not wish to ever vote again.

Please tax me how you will, taketh of my lands.

I don't care anymore, for I have forsook the very notion of our founding fathers.

I guess.

But America will tax me until I die.

So if

it turns out I'm going to live here forever, if I'm like,

yeah, I don't plan on ever leaving, which I think in a few years, I'd have a good idea of, you know, whether or not I've put down the sort of roots that feel like they're going to last for a long time.

That's, you know, do I see myself going back to America for longer than a few weeks at a time?

Probably not.

But

it's still a big deal to be like, I don't want citizenship in

the country I grew up in anymore, you know?

So.

Yeah, no, I get, I mean, like, we all do crazy things for love.

Benedict Arnold was a traitor, I'm pretty sure, for love.

So, like, you know,

keep good company, I suppose.

Don't be doing that, chat.

This is not about Sam

People in chat area.

People betray their country for love all the time.

Sounds like Dodger's planning on skipping the country, Sam.

How do you feel about that?

Goofball.

Word on the street is Dodger's ditching, gonna go rogue in the EU.

I hear Americans doing great, and I want to come back.

Sorry,

yeah,

we are doing great, and we've never been better.

How dare you?

This country is soaring like

a bald eagle, an American pride eagle.

That's what I said.

We are higher than the rest of the world, and if you say shit, we will drop bombs on you.

How dare you?

Our eagle soars on the wings of jet fuel.

Kakaw!

Kakaw!

For that is the sound of our tactical bombs dropping upon you.

Oh, freedom.

Delivering freedom.

Yep.

And everyone will like it.

Yeah.

Someone said that's the start of Minion Impossible.

Anyway, do we have any news?

It's literally Bob the Minion on top of an eagle that's painted red, white, and blue.

He's like,

gaina and he presses a button and little minion bombs drop it's bombs but shaped like the minions and they have minion eyes pew pew pew but it's just the minions and when they fall they go pew pew pew yeah yeah

that's it that's the one

all right what we got buddy

oh boy well lots of news this week first off some releases just to get you you rocking and rolling obviously i believe tomorrow tomorrow is Elden Ring Night Rain.

Yes.

I assume it'll be a fine game.

I'm not even sure what to make of this game.

It is both Elden Ring and both not.

I don't know what we're doing, but I know we're trying to arrange some time to play.

I was told Dodger doesn't know how to play perfect because then it will make me, who doesn't really know what I'm doing, look great.

So that's cool.

But I guess it comes out.

It's supposed to be out the 30th, but I know people have it today.

So enjoy.

Have fun.

Also, to a T is a brand new game that is by the,

I think,

Mega64 and the dude who made Katamari.

And it's a game where you T-pose and you run around and it's very cute.

And it is

a puzzle exploration game that looks just so much fun.

So if you want to try something unique and different and weird.

Oh, wait, this looks super cute.

Yeah, very, very Dodger coated.

Looks super cute.

And then, just on the front page of Steam, because I wanted to go look and see what was like the new trending popular thing.

Yeah.

The number one trending game right now for five bucks is called Guilty as Sock.

It is a simulation sandbox conversation game where you dress up socks and you go to court.

I don't know what this game is,

but that's guilty as sock is what that is.

Okay.

And then there's Fuga Melodies of Steel, where it's an RPG, but it looks like you're...

I don't even know how to describe this.

Cats?

Cat people?

But with mechs?

Like, it's like, imagine the world of,

you know, CatQuest, except it's giant mechs.

And you run around in mechs and battle in mechs.

And I've never heard of this game before in my entire life.

But Fuga?

Fuga?

Melodies of Steel 3

is a thing that came out.

And then you might say, well, what else could possibly be out today?

Jesse?

Project Warlock 2, which is a boomer shooter.

That sort of old retro style, but it looks very, very cool.

And Kabuto Park, which is bugs.

Casual creature collecting bugs.

Yeah.

And then for some reason, on the front page, because Steam is Steam, a game called Family Crush.

And I'm going to let you know, the artwork does not look safe.

This is all I'll say about that.

So shout out to the internet.

You're very weird.

Okay.

Then,

in kind of cute, funny news, Expedition 33 managed to sell 3.3 million copies 33 days after sale.

And it's not really news, but I think it's very cute that

the numbers kind of lined up that way.

So congratulations to them.

We'll probably get something in the future.

A new game, I guess.

Bless you.

There it is.

There it is.

Whoa, my God.

That sneeze took, that sneeze took longer than a sneeze should.

I had like a wind-up to it.

Yikes.

I'm glad that I'll probably make it on some weird clip.

Enjoy that.

You creeps.

Okay.

Nintendo Switch 2.

Boy, oh boy.

There is some word that it's out in the wild.

People are getting it.

They're unboxing it.

They're posting photos online.

It is, I don't know, at least a week away still from launch.

I guess, for the most part, for a while there, people were getting them early and trying to play with them.

And according to, you know, Wario64 and various sites on the internet, the systems required a day one update.

So if you tried to play with it early before the launch, you literally just had like a console that was like, sorry, can't do anything.

Which, honestly, I'm very curious if that's something that people generally like.

The idea of like, no, you shouldn't be able to ruin stuff.

Or if it's like, shouldn't the console just work?

Why do we need a day one update?

I kind of like that whether you manage to break street date or not, you still have to wait like everybody else, you know?

Yeah, I mean, there's definitely been in the past, especially here in LA, there's been some really funny things where you'll see a game at like a, you know, a GameStop somewhere that it comes out in two weeks you're like wait what the hell how are you legally allowed to do this and you know they can some people just do so i guess nintendo was like no one gets to mess with our stuff until we say you can

so that's interesting i don't know you know part of me was thinking okay but what if you don't have the internet ever can you not ever use it i mean you know like what if you never have the internet you're already boned on normal switch if you don't have internet

well there you go that explains that like there's your answer the number of times that my kid goes to play a game and it's like verifying user

and i'm like oh thank god that we're opening it now before we get in the car or whatever you know sure

yeah i don't really i didn't really think about that i'm not uh i don't use switch remotely it is straight up just hooked up to the tv all the time yeah i play it only whenever an rpg comes out yeah it's gonna especially if you have multiple users you click on a game and it says who's playing this, which annoys the shit out of me that it won't just play, but it'll be like, which person's playing this?

And then, you know, my kid will say, it's me, Clark.

And then it'll verify that she's allowed to play the game, that she owns the game on her account, you know?

And if you don't have internet, it can't do that.

And then it'll be like, we don't know if you're allowed to play this or not.

So no.

If you have physical

ones, it doesn't need to do that.

You have the physical game, right?

Okay, all right.

That means, I guess that's what I was asking.

If you have the physical game, then you don't need to connect online.

But if your console is a day one boot up,

I don't know.

I have no answers for you with that.

It's interesting, though.

With that said, we're already seeing Switch 2 information start flooding out.

Apparently, Switch 2 owners can upload and auto-upload screenshots and videos.

The 100 latest captures will be sent to the Nintendo Switch app for up to 30 days.

And then you can share your stuff online, which is, I guess, kind of fun.

PlayStation has done that for a while.

And I think I've used it exactly one time over the course of however long the PlayStation 5 has been around.

And I was like, and I think it was to show off a thing for Astrobot,

which shows you how long it took for me to actually use.

It saved all these videos.

It took me a while to actually click into that.

So I don't know.

That's interesting.

And then we're getting some more information.

Some early walkthroughs of the Nintendo Switch 2 setup process are appearing online.

A Russian YouTuber posted video showing the boot process for Switch 2.

And, you know, just a bunch of leaks are already coming out.

Everyone's very excited.

And everyone wants to be the first, as is with most things in the internet.

Then some fun news in the world of cyberpunk.

Cyberpunk 2 is in pre-production now.

It was originally known as Project Orion.

And I guess the concept phase is complete.

They've already talked about how it's going to be in like

Corpus Chicago, which will be a whole thing.

And if they're smart,

a certain man with a dysfunctional dong will be back.

Let's make it happen.

It's a weird thing to say.

You know what?

Looking back, I probably shouldn't have phrased it that way.

Anyway, then...

For those of you who like Pokemon, apparently there's a July Pokemon presents coming.

So I guess on the 22nd of July will be something from the Pokemon company.

Don't know what it is, but we will see.

And then last but certainly not least,

Apple might be getting into game dev.

We're not really sure, but a two-person team who created the 2019 hit Sneaky Sasquatch now partnered with Apple and is doing their first internal studio thing.

I guess Apple Arcades, this was their big hit on Apple Arcade, and they wanted them to work on more Apple Arcade.

And as a person who's never once used Apple Arcade, I couldn't tell you what's going on with that.

So

bless, and I wish them all the best.

But

we'll see.

We'll see what happens when Apple starts to get into game dev.

Yeah.

And that is, that's it.

That's the news.

That's the news.

Oh, my goodness.

Well, thank you all so much for showing up for a Thursday Geekenders.

Yeah, thanks.

I would ask you what you're up to, but you're going to Boston.

You've told us.

Going to Boston.

Is there anything?

And then next week is all the game awards stuff.

So it's just...

Yeah.

Or not game awards, game fest, summer game fest.

So I got to do all that.

That'll be a whole mess.

Next week will be a complete cluster F of driving around LA and seeing games, which is great.

It's great.

It's the driving around LA part that sucks.

Yeah, the driving part sucks ass.

But once you're there, it's fun.

Yeah, I get to see a bunch of cool new things.

And so that's pretty, that's pretty dope.

Yeah.

I'm excited about that.

Awesome.

I ain't going anywhere.

We're going to take to try again on House of Ashes tonight, Summer and I.

So we'll see how many people we kill.

Thank you.

And otherwise, it's mostly, I think, Monster Train and Black Reliquary.

Just

trucking along on those games.

Yeah, nothing exciting.

Nothing exciting over here on the farm.

Except apparently finding baby birds in the road.

I don't know.

I'll have to find out what that's all about.

I had to be like, honey, I'm on a show.

I love you so much.

Where's your dad?

Please give that bird to your dad.

Anyways, thank you all so much for watching.

If you would like to watch all of the previous geekenders, you can find them at youtube.com/slash jessecox.

We're also on the podcasty sites.

So you can just listen with your sweet earballs if that's what feels right.

But otherwise, I think we'll both be here for Friday next week.

Yeah?

Yeah.

fantastic.

I'll be around.

Okay, so we'll see you.

We'll see you next week, Friday, for some more geekenders.

So long.

Boy.

Yeah, yeah, you know what time it is.

It's time for the geekenders podcast.

Mega Rand, Jesse, and Dodger.

What up?

Let's go.

Yo, it's the weekend.

Yeah, it's time to geek out.

Let it be good.

Go on, stream and shout.

It's Jesse and Dodger.

So give them a follow and see what the geekenders are all about.

Yo, it's the weekend.

Yeah, it's time to geek out.

Let it begin.

Go on, stream and shout.

It's Jesse and Dodger.

So give them a follow.

Number one geek podcast without a doubt.

Yo, another end of another long week.

Got a job and a kid, I know that you all beat.

So take a second, grab a drink, and vibe while we catch you up in just a matter of time.

On gaming, comics, whatever you're doing.

If you're nerdy like us, then you know you should tune in.

Thank you for sharing our world with us.

Now follow, subscribe, and turn this up.

Yo, it's the weekend.

Yeah, it's time to geek out.

Let it be kid.

Go on, stream and shout.

It's Jesse and Dodger.

So give them a follow.

Number one geek podcast without a doubt.

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