The Gentleman From Hell |S1| Ep. 20

Speaker 1 Rusty Quill presents

Speaker 2 Good evening, gentlemen and gentle ladies of hell.

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Speaker 22 job. I'll pay more.
I'm paying attention to

Speaker 22 my own.

Speaker 22 Okay, so what's that thing?

Speaker 13 Excuse me, ladies, but you two wouldn't happen to be the Ingersoll sisters, would you?

Speaker 16 Half sisters.

Speaker 16 And are you pretending this was just a happy coincidence, or are you going to admit to following us aboard to get an interview?

Speaker 13 I didn't know you were famous enough to spot a reporter yet. But if you wouldn't mind me asking a few questions, I can tell you that our audience would certainly be grateful.

Speaker 8 And just exactly who are you you writing for, if you don't mind me asking?

Speaker 13 Sure. I write for a podcast called Scientifically Curious.

Speaker 16 We... We are quite familiar.
You recently claimed to have successfully debunked our machine's demonstration in Open Cart.

Speaker 16 Apparently, the slew of scientists and engineers the defense brought in to do the same thing and failed wasn't enough for you.

Speaker 13 Well, I suppose we just wonder if Mr. Whittle's defense team might have been better served bringing in magicians rather than scientists.
Folks a little better versed at spotting deliberate deception.

Speaker 16 Mr. Whittle is, or was, a magician.
And he failed to discover a single irregularity when we answered his million-dollar challenge of proving the paranormal.

Speaker 16 Just how many times do you need an animal to quack before you finally admit it's a dunk?

Speaker 13 Maybe after the animal's been exposed to more thorough scrutiny, and for a longer period of time than a few hours, you did, after all, refuse to submit your device.

Speaker 14 Um,

Speaker 13 what do you call it again?

Speaker 8 You came all this way to bug us, and you don't know that it's called the Parasonic Resonator.

Speaker 7 That's right.

Speaker 13 Um, well, after your big caught win, you refused to have your uh parasonic resonator examined by the Galen City College of Engineers, which, you sort of have to admit, doesn't exactly look good for your credibility, now, does it?

Speaker 16 Mr.

Speaker 10 Tom.

Speaker 14 Tom Watts.

Speaker 16 Well, Mr. Watts, we earn several patents concerning the technology responsible for the resonator.

Speaker 16 Thus, we have a financial incentive to keep our innovations to ourselves. It was a bad enough to have Whittle scientists crawling all over it.

Speaker 13 Unless there's a cool mill to be made, isn't that right?

Speaker 8 Whittle publicly made the bet, and then squelched on it. We had a right to what was owed, plain and simple.
And uh, I don't know if you noticed, but Whittle hasn't even tried to appeal a decision.

Speaker 8 Should tell you something, shouldn't it?

Speaker 13 Well, I'm not the one you need to convince. But uh, putting all that aside, I wonder if you could tell me where you're bound for.
I couldn't help but notice that you had quite a big object

Speaker 16 That's very astute of you, Mr. Watts.
Seems you've been doing a little more than pretending to bump into us on a train.

Speaker 13 Come on, you two did effectively win a case that hinged on proving the paranormal. So does it really surprise you that someone like me might come poking around?

Speaker 8 You think you're the first reporter we've had to deal with?

Speaker 8 You're just the rudest.

Speaker 16 At any rate, our destination is irrelevant to you. So please, if you would be so kind, return to your seat.

Speaker 13 Sure, but we're coming pretty close to the lost city of Cold Sparrow. I was just thinking.

Speaker 8 Correction. You were just leaving.
Enjoy the rest of your trip, Mr. Watts.

Speaker 13 Okay, have it your way. Just thought you

Speaker 14 what the

Speaker 8 Birds of some kind.

Speaker 16 They must have flown into the path of the train by accident.

Speaker 16 Poor things.

Speaker 8 I can't believe that asshole. Walking right up to us and practically calling us frauds to our faces.

Speaker 16 You didn't think winning a famous bet and then an even more famous cart case would change anyone's mind, did you?

Speaker 8 I suppose not.

Speaker 8 But maybe if they'd behave more like skeptics and less like assholes.

Speaker 16 I don't know. I rather prefer the crude approach.
It's much better than the slimy bootlickers Big Tech's been sending to meet with us.

Speaker 8 They act that way because they actually believe us. Funny how the minute money's involved, skepticism goes out the window.

Speaker 16 Well, if we can solve the great mystery of Cold Sparrow, that should turn them all into slimy butt liquors.

Speaker 16 Just imagine how wonderful that would be.

Speaker 8 I'd rather imagine Whittle's face after the machine scores another win.

Speaker 8 Speaking of which, did you know that little prick called out Phyllis Chambers after the agent she worked with said she led them to the solders.

Speaker 16 No, I did not. Did she accept the big million dollar challenge?

Speaker 8 Never even acknowledged the offer.

Speaker 16 That's because, unlike us, she's a right and proper lady.

Speaker 10 Hmm.

Speaker 8 I wonder how her and the machine will get along.

Speaker 16 Far better, I hope, than poor Mr. Brennan.

Speaker 16 But I suspect he was a much less disciplined clairvoyant than Miss Chambers.

Speaker 8 That reminds me. I made some adjustments to the resonating chamber.
I added a dampener. That way there's no more sonic booms out of nowhere.

Speaker 16 I'm sure Mr. Brennan would have appreciated that.

Speaker 8 What can I say? Innovation moves at its own pace.

Speaker 8 Oh, would you get a load of this place?

Speaker 16 Certainly has all of the charms of a lost city, doesn't it?

Speaker 8 I must have seen a dozen shows and documentaries about this place.

Speaker 8 So weird to finally be here. Almost doesn't seem real.

Speaker 16 If ever there was a place made for the Resonator, it's definitely called Spara.

Speaker 8 Wonder what she'd pick up if we set up right here. In the middle of all this.

Speaker 16 I doubt dropping her in the middle of the street is the best idea.

Speaker 10 It's far too unbound.

Speaker 16 She requires cheating borders. A place to concentrate.

Speaker 8 That must be Vere's mansion up there.

Speaker 8 Hughes wasn't kidding when he said it wouldn't be hard to spot. Place looks more like a castle than a mansion.

Speaker 16 The rich do enjoy showcasing their opulence, don't they?

Speaker 8 I wouldn't talk if I were you. I was fine with the old panel truck.
It was you that wanted to rent this expensive monstrosity.

Speaker 16 We want to be taken seriously now, don't we?

Speaker 8 We would rather keep expenses to a minimum so we can continue to improve the resonator. You know, the only reason we have any money to begin with.

Speaker 16 Father always said you were too practical.

Speaker 8 Well, that's why the only thing dad left us was that crumbly house with a hole in the roof.

Speaker 8 He could have used a little practicality.

Speaker 16 Looks like our new colleagues are home, as I assume those vehicles out front belong to them.

Speaker 10 Look right there.

Speaker 8 Are those bullet holes in that van?

Speaker 16 They certainly seem to be.

Speaker 8 Let's hope they're just souvenirs from their FBI days.

Speaker 8 Huh?

Speaker 16 Are you prepared for this?

Speaker 8 Let's go meet the rest of the team.

Speaker 8 Here goes nothing.

Speaker 16 Someone just peeked out from that window over there, Furtive bunch.

Speaker 7 Hey there.

Speaker 19 Something I can help you folks with?

Speaker 16 I hope so. We're at the Ingersholes.
Mr. Hughes sent us to help you with your investigation.

Speaker 19 Oh, that's great. Uh, please, come on in.

Speaker 7 Hey, Leon, we got company.

Speaker 24 You are down.

Speaker 19 We've been hoping someone would show soon. I'm Mace, uh, Mason, Mason Rhodes.

Speaker 7 Most people just call me Mace, though.

Speaker 8 Nice to meet you. This is my sister Margaret, and I'm Patricia.
You can call me Pat.

Speaker 16 You, however, may not call me Marge. And it's a pleasure to meet you, Mace.

Speaker 10 Oh,

Speaker 10 hello.

Speaker 19 This is Leon Oates, and these ladies are the Ingersols, the folks Mr. Hughes sent to help us out.
Ingersoll?

Speaker 18 You wouldn't happen to be the same Ingersolls who proved in court that the very same.

Speaker 16 I'm Margaret, and this is my sister, Patricia. Or Pat, as she's won't be called.

Speaker 19 Uh, you guys know each other?

Speaker 18 You gotta forgive old Mace here. He stopped keeping up with current events once they stopped chucking rolled-up newspapers at his door.

Speaker 19 Kids funny, ain't he?

Speaker 8 And of course, we've heard of you two.

Speaker 10 But isn't there a third?

Speaker 8 Miss Chambers?

Speaker 10 Uh, yeah,

Speaker 18 but she's not feeling very well at the moment.

Speaker 19 See, uh, we ran into some trouble a few days ago, and uh

Speaker 10 oh, Jesus, I don't even know where to start with all this.

Speaker 10 Well,

Speaker 16 perhaps we might all just sit down and get acquainted, shall we?

Speaker 18 Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.

Speaker 16 Coffee sounds good to everyone, coffee sounds marvelous.

Speaker 18 I followed this thing into the woods, and when it finally stopped, I could see it was a goddamn hyena.

Speaker 19 We must have emptied enough rounds to kill a fucking elephant.

Speaker 10 And it didn't do a thing.

Speaker 8 Not a goddamn thing.

Speaker 18 It was like they were right outside the door, calling to to me, mocking me. All I could do was sit there and try to keep it together.

Speaker 19 Drones seemed to have somehow entered the past. I mean, we could actually see that dead city.

Speaker 10 Isabel.

Speaker 19 And like we said, there's some kind of cult involved in all this, so, you know, I just don't know how safe it is to be here.

Speaker 8 But you've never actually seen them.

Speaker 18 Not once. Well, Phil seemed to, you know, psychically see them when they took Harmon's brother.
But that was about it. And they left us that Polaroid we told you about.

Speaker 19 David said he saw him sitting in cars outside his and Alex's places, but we've personally seen that up.

Speaker 9 Well, when I heard strange voices and decided to investigate, the last people I thought I'd encounter would be the Ingersoll sisters.

Speaker 18 Phil, you sure you're okay to be up and about?

Speaker 9 Yes, I am. It's high time I left that bedroom.

Speaker 18 Well, in that case, your usual?

Speaker 9 One cup of hot tea, please, and thank you.

Speaker 13 You got it.

Speaker 8 Miss Chambers. Oh, it's an honor to meet you.

Speaker 16 It surely is. We've followed your work for some time.

Speaker 9 Oh, please, please, sit down. When Mr.
Hughes said he'd be sending us the very best, he certainly wasn't joking.

Speaker 16 These gentlemen were just filling us in on all the details of the case. It's.

Speaker 16 Well, it's extraordinary, isn't it?

Speaker 16 That's one word for it, though perhaps not the one I'd use.

Speaker 8 Have you ever encountered anything like this before?

Speaker 9 Nothing. In all my years, I can't say I've even heard of anything like what we've encountered here.
What about the two of you? What do you make of all this?

Speaker 16 Well, although the scope of this phenomenon is far greater than anything I've ever heard of or even read about, it does resemble a classic demonic possession.

Speaker 16 We have objects teleporting, the smell of sulfur, inhuman creatures, and possibly even transformative experiences tied to damnation.

Speaker 16 The only twist is that the possession appears to concern an entire town rather than a single person.

Speaker 10 Hmm.

Speaker 8 And there's also the widespread disappearances.

Speaker 8 I mean, in a typical possession, it ends either with the victim's death or with the entity being driven out, which usually triggers the victim's spiritual conversion.

Speaker 8 So it's not a perfect match. The only thing I can think of that even comes close, in scale at any rate, is the Grove City possessions of 1922.

Speaker 9 Hmm, I've never heard of them. What happened?

Speaker 16 Supposedly, a priest under the sway of a demon used his various uh

Speaker 16 bodily fluids to taint the communion wafers, wine, and holy water of the small town's one and only church.

Speaker 16 Apparently, not long after he began doing this, quite a few members of the congregation became demonically possessed.

Speaker 16 The story goes that the Vatican sent a fleet of exorcists to properly deal with the problem, which included burning the church to the ground.

Speaker 19 They sure got a thing for burning stuff.

Speaker 18 Here's your tea, Phil.

Speaker 20 Ah, always to the rescue.

Speaker 18 I see you two came in a van. Did you bring what I think you brought?

Speaker 8 She's in there, all right.

Speaker 16 In fact, we were hoping we might get some help bringing her in.

Speaker 19 You got it.

Speaker 19 So I assume this is the machine Leon was talking about?

Speaker 8 The Parasonic Resonator. The one and only.

Speaker 18 Alright then, let's get started before the caffeine wears off and we all crash for the next 24 hours.

Speaker 19 Phil, you're gonna be okay till we get back? Should only be a few.

Speaker 9 Ah, I'm feeling much better, especially now that we finally have some help.

Speaker 10 But

Speaker 9 I still think I might come out and watch from the porch. To supervise, of course.

Speaker 19 Sounds like a plan. When we're done, I'll fix him some breakfast before I hit the hay.

Speaker 9 Well, Leene was a fool for ever letting you go, good sir.

Speaker 19 Can I get that in writing?

Speaker 9 I'll even have it notarized.

Speaker 9 Okay,

Speaker 10 let's put it down right here.

Speaker 16 Sounds good.

Speaker 10 There we are.

Speaker 19 All set.

Speaker 18 How did you two even get it loaded in the truck?

Speaker 16 Oh, a few kind gentlemen at the station offered a hand.

Speaker 8 Well, offered a hand after we slipped them fifty bucks apiece, that is.

Speaker 19 No worries. We'll only charge you 40.

Speaker 8 Well, let me just take all the bubble wrap and whatnot off and

Speaker 8 voila, the parasonic resonator in all her mechanical glory.

Speaker 18 I can't recall ever seeing a proper photo of this thing. Just those crummy courtroom sketches.

Speaker 14 Kind of looks like a mashup between a musical instrument and a suit-up car engine.

Speaker 8 She's all business. Strictly built for necessity.
No fancy frills whatsoever.

Speaker 9 I recall reading an interview in which you both described how the machine operates, although I must admit it exceeded my level of expertise.

Speaker 9 Might I trouble you for a simplified explanation of precisely how it works?

Speaker 8 Oh no.

Speaker 8 My sister's ultimate weakness. Making anything understandable.
If you can follow her explanation, trust me, she's completely crushed.

Speaker 16 As you might have guessed, Pat's the engineer and I'm the theorist. She absolutely abhors anything that isn't tractable to a monkey wrench.

Speaker 19 Now that I can relate to.

Speaker 16 I'm sure everyone has heard of the idea that, according to some interpretations of quantum mechanics, reality doesn't exist unless we observe it.

Speaker 16 Well, our machine offers a glimpse into why that might be.

Speaker 16 By one line of reasoning, consciousness itself helps bind reality together.

Speaker 16 Our device emits a specific sound, along with a corresponding electromagnetic field that synchronizes the minds of those nearby, amplifying their collective consciousness.

Speaker 16 This heightened awareness further solidifies reality, allowing information that would otherwise remain hidden to become detectable by the human senses.

Speaker 9 When you say hidden information, I presume you mean ghosts and the like?

Speaker 16 Exactly.

Speaker 18 So when you demonstrated the resonator to the jury, you showed them dead people?

Speaker 8 Well, not quite dead people, but something like that.

Speaker 8 Oh, you should have seen the looks on their faces.

Speaker 23 So how the fuck...

Speaker 19 Pardon my language.

Speaker 7 I mean, how the hell isn't everyone and their mother after you were for this thing? It's gotta be worth a fortune.

Speaker 8 Because science doesn't like gate crushers, we've been more or less relegated to the category of fringe science, and our little court demonstration nothing more than a highly sophisticated means of inducing hallucinations.

Speaker 18 I would think that alone should get you some juicy government contracts.

Speaker 8 Oh, we've had more than our fair share of interested parties, don't you worry. The military-industrial complex was definitely taking notes on the case.

Speaker 8 But we aren't interested in that sort of attention.

Speaker 16 And then there's the fact that the machine doesn't always work.

Speaker 16 at least, not as intended. We've still got a few bugs to squash before it's ready to woo the world.

Speaker 19 I'll be thrilled if it can finally put us ahead of whatever we've been tangled up in. We've been going around in circles ever since we got here.

Speaker 8 Here's hoping.

Speaker 13 They're up there, all right, Gary. That's the van they drove off in when they got off the train.
Don't know about the other vehicles, though.

Speaker 13 When we head back into town, we can look the plates up online, see what comes up.

Speaker 23 Give me those binos for a second, Tom.

Speaker 23 I want to check something.

Speaker 13 What are you looking that way for?

Speaker 23 Thought I saw something.

Speaker 13 What sort of something?

Speaker 14 Looked like a big fucking dog.

Speaker 13 Could have been anything. There's deer and bear and all other kinds of shit out this far.

Speaker 10 You hear that?

Speaker 13 Probably just a deer, like I said.

Speaker 23 That don't sound like no deer to me.

Speaker 13 Let's get out of here. Just to be on the safe side.
We'll come back tomorrow, scout out a place where we can lay low. Maybe snap a few pics of the ladies doing their uh weird science thing.

Speaker 23 Good idea.

Speaker 4 The Gentleman from Hell is a Maltopia production.

Speaker 25 Today's episode was written by Mark Anzalone and performed by Stephen Zivik, Sam Stark, Aubrey Akers, Jesse Van Hove, Callie Baer, and Matt Van Hove.

Speaker 2 Sound editing was completed by Stephen Anzalone and script editing was conducted by Walker Kornfeld.

Speaker 4 Be sure to rate and review us on iTunes, Spotify, or your favorite podcast platform. And follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter at Meltopia.

Speaker 25 If you want unique art and animations of Meltopia's stories, visit our YouTube page or click on the link in the show notes.

Speaker 2 And for more exclusive content, such as additional lore, stories, and art, be sure to check out our Patreon at www.patreon.com forward slash Meltopia.

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