The Gentleman From Hell |S1| Ep. 5

Rusty Quill presents

Good evening, gentlemen and gentle ladies of hell.

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Who

who's in there?

Well,

hello there.

No,

not you.

We took you down.

We killed you.

Hey, didn't nobody ever tell you, kid?

Sometimes what goes down

comes back up again.

No,

just a dream, Leon.

Just a dream.

None of us have talked about what happened at the Pentacles since it all went down.

Like, ignoring it will make it disappear.

But it never will.

I know we feel like it was justified, but all I feel is sick.

And then there's the horror of last night.

What Phil said about the tape.

A ticket to hell, she called it.

I don't want to believe in anything beyond this world.

I just want it all to be over when the lights go out.

Sure, Phil makes a great case for the paranormal and all that, but in the end, it could just be what Ben said: undiscovered aspects of nature.

Except, what happened last night, sure as hell didn't feel natural, natural, hidden or otherwise.

I was wondering when you finally get up.

You okay?

I'm fine.

I'm thinking my brain needed a little longer to wrap itself around what happened last night.

But now, it's my stomach that's grumbling for attention.

That I can help with.

I put all the leftovers from breakfast in the microwave, and I just brewed some fresh coffee.

Music to my ears.

So, what are you guys doing?

What happened last night couldn't have occurred in a void, so we're looking through all of the media to see if any of the titles stand out.

Anything that smacks of the paranormal.

Any luck?

Well, we got a small pile of hopefuls going over there, but our guys got a gift for cryptic labeling.

That, and it's just so much of the stuff.

The Soul's Midnight.

That sounds promising.

Doesn't get much spookier than midnight.

The Soul's Midnight actually refers to 3 AM, which is supposedly the most frequent time people die in their sleep.

Is it?

I have no idea.

I'm just paraphrasing the movie Something Wicked This Way Comes.

You still dead set on cleansing the tape before we play it?

I mean, it's by far our biggest lead.

Uh-oh, I already got scolded for asking that same question.

Leon, I could have sworn you were with us when that discarnate entity tossed us the tape.

This entity, which lifted a two-ton elevator car four stories into the air and then gently brought it back down into the cellar, did all of this within a city where the entire population has gone missing, most likely due to supernatural forces.

Okay, okay.

So we wait till the tape is scrubbed squeaky clean.

Spiritually speaking, of course.

There's a good lad.

However, if you'll excuse my professional curiosity, I can't help but wonder why it went through the trouble of making a big deal out of giving us a tape spiked with all kinds of negative juju instead of simply including it with the rest of the materials for us to play later.

Suspicion-free.

The man's got a point there.

Hmm, you've got me on that one, yet you also reinforce my initial argument.

The tape is more than what it appears to be, and as such, should not be taken lightly.

Couldn't we just take it to a church and have some priests bless it?

That'd do the trick, wouldn't it?

I really don't know, to be honest.

We need to figure out what we're expected to do with it, and

then not do it.

Well, if that's all.

I thought that's what you FBI fellows did.

Staying one step ahead of the criminals by predicting their next move.

Trying to profile a purp is one thing.

You've got available data to use as a primer.

But profiling a paranormal force wasn't covered in any classes I took at Quantico.

What about making the process unpredictable?

I'm not following you.

One of the first cases I assisted on involved this killer.

who was slowly making a name for himself as Uncatchable.

None of his victims seemed connected, and his methods for killing were always different.

As it turned out, he was using these random techniques to choose who and how he'd kill.

He'd made two spinners out of cardboard.

One dial had names randomly selected from the phone book, and the other contained a list of killing techniques sourced from a book of murderers.

He'd spin the dials, then kill the person the first dial landed on, using the method indicated by the second dial.

How on earth did you catch him?

It was the book on murderers that gave him away.

One of the lead guys figured out what he was reading.

The pieces started to fall into place.

That's all very fascinating, but I'm not seeing how that helps us.

If we don't want to be predictable as to how we work the tape, we just list all our options and devise a system to choose one at random.

Should be easy enough to finangle.

There's shitloads of random number generator apps we could download.

I appreciate your way of thinking, gentlemen, but isn't there still a risk of randomly triggering the preferred method of action?

Sure, but at least this way we give ourselves a fighting chance.

Well,

I suppose that we'll have to do.

However, I would like to add a layer of protection.

Once we've selected a process, whether it be a spinner or an app on a phone, I'll encircle the device with salt.

What do spirits guard against salt?

Salt is believed to have certain spiritual properties.

Among them, the ability to seal off an area or object from unwanted spiritual presences.

I guess you won't be seeing me getting possessed anytime soon.

My doctor's always telling me I got too much salt in my diet.

Does garlic salt work?

I load up pretty much everything with that stuff.

I got a little Italian on on my father's side.

As far as I know, she's never been possessed.

You two are incorrigible.

You know that?

So you keep telling us.

Alright, now before you decide to chew me out again, I'm gonna go check out the basement.

And yes, I know nobody's hiding down there pushing the elevator buttons, but I haven't really had a chance to check this place out as much as I shoulda.

And I wanna take a closer look at that elevator.

Suit yourself.

I'm going to play the next numbered tape.

There's only a few left.

It looks like he stopped numbering them shortly after he arrived here.

Once those are all reviewed, we can move on to the more prominent media we've collected.

Let me finish my coffee and I'll head down to the basement with you.

Don't worry, I'm sure I'll be fine.

What with the hyenas and poltergeists?

Alright, I'll.

I am just having a little fun with you.

I'll be fine.

I'm not getting any bad impressions.

At the moment.

All the same.

From now on, we should keep the radios on at all times.

Capish?

You'll get no argument from me.

Perfect.

The other half sure as hell lives it up, don't they?

Will you look at this place?

All it needs is a round table and some knights.

I took a quick peek down here before you and Phil showed up.

It went the entire length of the mansion and then sun.

I saw some of the pics you guys took at the place back in 99, but they sure didn't do it any justice.

You could house an army down here.

Seems an awfully big waste of space for only two people, that's for damn sure.

So tell me, now that the sorceress isn't in here, Sean,

what did you make of that ship last night?

Got me swinging.

But if Phil says it's ghosts, then I guess it's ghosts.

Yeah, I got nothing to explain away any of it.

Unless.

Eh, split it out.

Unless what?

What if this is one big put-on?

What do you mean?

Hughes?

Why not?

He's definitely got the funds to pull something like that off, and he's had all the time in the world to set it up.

You know, a haunted mansion, gang of freaked-out professional investigators.

Could sell quite a few books.

I might have been able to go along with that, except for one thing.

Which is

Phil.

She says she can feel this shit.

Sure, Hughes might be able to pull it over on some gang of teenagers playing at being paranormal investigators, but she's the real deal.

She's proved as much time and time again.

And we aren't exactly slouches ourselves.

Hughes would have to have some serious balls if he thought he could maintain that kind of bruise.

Yeah, I guess maybe I'm reaching.

I know Phil's legit.

It's just hard to take it seriously when it's more than a coming up with stuff out of thin air.

Now we got invisible people throwing cassettes at us from elevators.

This shouldn't work.

It's just a little much, you know?

I guess so.

But to be honest,

I think I prefer ghosts to real people.

Stakes are a hell of a lot lower.

You gotta stop thinking about them.

You hear me?

We did what had to be done.

Did we?

Then why don't we ever talk about it?

If we're all so cool about what went down, then why do we act like it never happened?

What's to talk about?

They're all dead, and a whole lot of people are still walking around because of it.

And besides, we weren't given a choice, remember?

We could have.

Ah, bullshit.

Coulda, woulda, shoulda.

But we didn't.

And we didn't, because that's not how it went down.

It went down the only way it could have.

The only way to save all those people.

Jesus, I wish you could get that through your head.

But there were...

Enough!

All right?

I said it's bad enough we had to go through that shit when it happened.

I don't need to go through it again.

Forget about it, okay?

Let it lie.

Yeah, sure.

Ugh, let it lie.

All right, Mr.

Veers.

Let's see what you've got to say today.

So, you're absolutely sure you don't mind?

Not at all, Ben.

You know, your father ran recorders all the time, too.

Did he now?

Yep.

I might have had different reasons for it than you, though.

Such as?

Just jotting down notes and such.

He was always tinkering with his theories, so whenever he'd stumble on something new, he'd fire up the recorder he always had on it.

And when we'd gather around the fire, he'd set it up.

Just in case.

He claimed his best ideas popped in his head while he was jawing out loud.

And since we'd be yapping late into the night, that recorder was always running.

I'd very much like to hear those tapes.

Do you have any idea where they might be?

Well,

I'm afraid they ain't around anymore.

Your father had me burn them all when it was certain he wouldn't long for this world.

Why in God's name would he have you do that?

He gave a few reasons.

First off, he was scared they'd be found out and ruined his good name what with uh all the odd notions he had

the other reason was he didn't want you to know just how much he was lagging behind you

so when you put it all together it was his pride that drove to do it and what sort of strange things was he thinking about

I suppose that depended on the day and what old mustard book of secret wisdom he'd finished reading.

The Wither Diaries?

Sure.

That and a bunch of others.

Would any of them concern the secrets he informed me I was to discover?

Secrets?

Yes, he left a tape recording for me to listen to.

A provision of his will, in fact.

That's how I was made aware that I was to stay on for at least a year within the mansion, so that I might, as as he put it, have the appropriate time to learn of the secrets residing within the house.

I knew he left the tape for you, but I had no idea what was on it.

And if there's any secrets hereabout, they are between you and him.

We might have spoken about a lot of things, but matters of that sort, he kept to himself.

I see.

So, tell me, how did he come to live in this place?

He moved here in 73, I think.

Back then, the place was called the House of Sparrows, on account of the man who built it.

The same fellow who founded the city, matter of fact.

Elias Sparrow.

Your father bought it at Auxen after the last of the Sparrows passed off.

What makes this mansion stand out among the rest?

He could have relocated to any number of them in this region, but he specifically chose this one.

The person you're describing is patient and strategic, not one to make hasty decisions.

I reckon it's because the history of the place tickled his fancy.

The Sparrows, well, they have themselves quite a jacket past, you know.

And I do believe there's a book around here about it, something your father had long before he got here, written by old Elias himself.

That's where he first heard about the place.

Do you recall the name of the book, and if it's in the library?

I'm certain it's in the library.

It's coming up with a name that's gonna throw me.

Give me a second to straighten out my memory and see

with the witch.

The witching of Isabel.

That's it.

Isabel's the name of a small town that used to be hereabouts.

Guess they got themselves up to some witch-hunting, I guess.

I imagine that kind of practice was common in regions like this.

What made this specific case so unique that my father decided to relocate to Cold Sparrow?

I'm afraid I can't rightly say.

Suppose you'll have to consult the book to find that out.

But you must have some idea as to these strange theories he was working on.

I've heard all about his personal quest for truth, but little, if anything, about what his theories might have actually consisted of.

Well, like yourself, he figured the world was a lot more bendable than what the scientists would have us believe.

And same as you, he took a turn toward the occult, hoping to find something that might give a nod to that notion.

Something that could show science hadn't quite nailed it down.

I'm guessing you've read some of my work then.

Your father went ahead and turned your unpublished manuscript into a bona fide book.

It's nestled in the library now, right along the other brave souls who journeyed into the outer void.

Yep, he'd speak quite often about your insights, how they shot past his own, and how proud he was being left in the dust.

And

my

mother, did he ever speak of her?

Not a people,

but I reckon his silence spoke louder than words.

He didn't know I'd seen it, but he always toted a picture of her.

I'd catch him gazing at it from time to time.

When he'd seen me gawking, he'd pretend he was just looking at some old scrap of notepa he had on him.

Well,

I have even less to remember her by.

By the time I was old enough to inquire about her, she'd become nothing more than a name in a registry.

It took many more years for me to discover the identity of my father.

I can't rightly say much about that.

Your father never liked talking talking about why he left it in foster care.

But on the rare times it did come up, I could see plain as day it weighed heavy on his heart.

No, no, no, no, that's quite all right.

I um should have waited for a more appropriate time to bring it up.

Here we've barely met, and I'm already prodding you for personal information about them.

Don't bother me one bit, then

I know you ain't had a good time at at things and you deserve your answers.

I just wish I had more of them to spare.

All this is so strange and sudden.

There's too damned much I want to know.

Now there's a topic your father was exceedingly interested in.

What's that?

The damned.

Well, you look at that archway.

You could march a parade through here.

The ears didn't do nothing, small.

That's for sure.

All that open space just for an elevator?

Seems like an awful big waste of space, if you ask me.

Looks like something's written above the archway.

Is that Latin?

Omnia non bona sunt donc tendem inferinum es sed vacuum forme, et temnanti omnes fusent.

Sure is.

Alright, smart guy.

So what's it saying?

In English.

Roughly translated, it says, All is not good till at last hell is but an empty pit, and the damned fled.

The Gentleman from Hell is a Meltopia production.

Today's episode was written by Mark Anzalone and performed by Stephen Zivik, Sam Stark, Aubrey Akers, and Mark Anzalone.

Sound editing was completed by Stephen Anzalone and script editing was conducted by Walker Kornfeld.

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