The Girlfriends S3/E8: No Regrets

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This is Andrea Gunning from Betrayal.

Are there two sides to every story?

Academy Award nominee Robin Wright stars in The Girlfriend on Prime, September 10th, a psychological thriller that will make you question everything.

Laura has the perfect life and a son she'd die for.

But when he brings home his new girlfriend Cherry, played by Olivia Cook, something feels off.

Also starring Laurie Davidson, The Girlfriend is a twisted game of cat and mouse where nothing is what it seems.

Don't miss The Girlfriend, streaming exclusively on Prime September 10th.

Sometimes the truth is just a matter of perspective.

Hey, it's Sanna, here to give you a heads up on what to expect in this final episode.

There's going to be mentions of murder, domestic abuse, and addiction.

Plus, there'll be some distressing scenes.

Oh, and you guessed it, some bad language.

But you'll also get to see what the future future might hold for Kelly and how she's rebuilding her life beyond prison.

If you're affected by any of the themes around domestic and gendered violence in this show, reach out to our charity partner, Know More.

They're a domestic violence charity with a lot of great resources to help you or your loved ones.

You can search knowmore.org, and we've also put a link to their website in the episode description.

It's the 27th of April, 2022.

Kelly Harnett is in a familiar place.

A prison transfer van.

She's on her way to court.

Over the past decade and some change, as her case slowly moved through the justice system, Kelly has made a lot of similar journeys.

But this time,

something is different.

I am not kidding.

I thought I was getting kidnapped on the way to court.

She's been traveling traveling for two hours.

She's alone in the van, save for the prison guards up front.

It was the most surreal feeling in the world.

I'm in the van with no windows.

I'm screaming at them, why is it taking so long to get there?

And they're not answering me at all.

In the silence, Kelly's mind kicks into overdrive,

imagining a hundred different, equally distressing scenarios.

Kelly's particularly anxious right now because today isn't just any other day in court.

If all goes well, it will be her last because she's finally getting re-sentenced.

Kelly squints, blinking as the sunlight pours into the prison van.

Her heart beating as she wonders where the hell she is.

Oh, this is Queen's Court.

Safely unkidnapped and dropped off at her destination, Kelly steadies herself.

Then, she starts walking towards her freedom.

This was so cinematic.

It was like the most beautiful court date you could ever imagine.

I had on a white-collared shirt, the tan pants that they make you wear.

I wore my hair down.

I made sure I did my makeup really nice and

I was ready to

go home.

Kelly strides into Queen's Court, flanked by two prison guards.

They get into the lift and make her face the wall.

Then she's called into the courtroom, where she'll be standing in front of Judge Bruno DiBiasi.

As soon as I walked out, she said, Good morning, Miss Harnett, with this bright smile.

No judge ever looked at her or smiled at her.

One smile made such an impression on her.

You've probably already guessed, but this is Judge DiBiase.

I do make a conscious effort to interact with the individuals in my court.

Many of the litigants, I often think that when they come in and they see me, and probably think, What does she understand about my pain?

But I do.

Judge DiBiase's son, Eric, died of a drug overdose about 13 years ago.

Then, in 2019, her daughter, Lisa, who also struggled with addiction, hit a cyclist named John James Uzma Quintero with her car.

She was drunk and high at the time.

John died, and Lisa went to prison after pleading guilty to multiple charges.

By the time Kelly walks into Judge DiBiase's courtroom in 2022, Lisa is behind bars.

Having had an incarcerated daughter has informed my decisions now about the length of a sentence individual should receive.

I was so not versed in all of that at the time of my son's active addiction.

That caused me pain.

But,

you know, there's only so much you can dwell in the past.

And so what I've decided to do is to take the knowledge that I have now and to move forward and to help other people with it.

Kelly has stood in front of more than a few judges in her time.

It's normally been a fight, one that Kelly is prepared to have again, if needed.

Luckily, it isn't.

What she said to me next was as as close to vindication as I'll ever get.

She said to me, Miss Harnett, I just want to let you know that I have read every single page of every motion that you have ever written.

She's talking about the things I was starting to write from Rikers throughout all those years, and I always thought they're throwing them in the garbage.

But she read them, and that meant the world to me.

And

she said,

I know how much you went through.

You stand here before me today as a true survivor.

Finally, Judge DiBiase leans forward, a smile still on her face.

And then she says the words, Kelly's been waiting to hear all this time.

Resentenced.

Time served.

I said, Your Honor is giving me

my second chance at life.

I walked out of the courtroom.

And when I went back into the elevator, I faced the wall.

They said, you don't have to face the wall.

No longer able to contain herself, tears start rolling down Kelly's face.

Before long, her lawyer, Kate Mogulescu, is by her side.

I was like, it's over.

It's really, it's over.

It's over.

Is it over?

over?

She's like, yes, Kelly, it's over.

It's over.

But here's the thing.

Kate is wrong.

Because Kelly might be getting out of prison.

But this story isn't over for her.

Not by a long shot.

I'm Anna Sinfield and from the teams at Novel and iHeart Podcasts.

This is The Girlfriends, Jailhouse Lawyer.

Yes, I've not been given you.

Episode eight: No Regrets.

After Kelly's triumphant court date, she gets sent back to prison while they sort out all the admin for her release.

As a bit of a distraction, Kelly throws herself into finishing up all her legal work for her jailhouse clients.

It's the morning of the 5th of May, 2022.

Kelly's busy putting the final touches together.

I was actually up all night working on someone's case because leaving also meant leaving people's cases behind.

But I made sure I kind of wrapped everything up.

Kelly slides a folder full of paperwork under her last client's cell door.

So, so hard leaving everyone.

I have so much survivor skills.

Just before she goes, Kelly divvies up all her precious prison belongings amongst her closest friends.

She gives a coat to a girl called Lacey, a sweater to her friend Manny, and a pair of shoes to her friend Trinity.

And then, it's time to say goodbye.

When I came out of the gates, I remember screaming and going, woo!

and putting my arms in the air.

Kelly's being released alongside three other inmates.

As she watches each of them embrace their families, sees them hugging so tight it's bound to leave bruises, she stands alone.

I felt bad because the other people had their family there and I didn't.

I didn't have anybody.

And everybody whose family was hugging them and they just wanted to be with my mother.

Kelly's mother, Kathleen, has been taken to Mount Sinai Hospital, about 40 miles away.

Kelly's brother Ronnie is by her bedside.

As a condition of her parole, Kelly has to go straight to her approved accommodation.

She's staying in a specialist facility that helps women released from prison.

But I told them, you know, I have to get to the hospital immediately.

And thank God they said, okay.

As soon as she's able, Kelly's at the hospital.

The lady asked, what's your name?

Who are you here for?

I said, Kelly Harnett.

I'm here for Kathleen Harnett.

I didn't know her room number or anything.

So she takes visitors past.

She writes, Kathleen Harnett, room 333.

She looks at her watch.

It was 3.03.

She goes, oh my God.

I said, what?

She goes, something amazing is about to happen.

Look at the threes.

She said, Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit.

My mouth dropped.

I said, How did you know that?

Something amazing is going to happen.

I'm going to see my mother for the first time in 13 years.

Kelly practically runs down the hospital corridor until she finds room 333.

Stepping in, she can see four women in beds.

She frantically scans the room, searching for her mother.

She doesn't recognize any of them.

I said, do I have the right room?

And then I looked in front of me.

And then when I looked at her eyes,

I said, that's my mother.

That's my mother.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

It looked like you could break her.

Like, I was afraid to touch her.

I wanted to run and go break down but I said you can't cry you have to be as strong as possible for mommy and then I walked in and I tried to act like I had seen her yesterday I said mom

hi and she goes Kelly oh my god Kelly is it really you

And she started to cry and smile at the same time.

She couldn't couldn't lift her arms to hold out.

So I leaned over and I hugged her.

And she was like, you look so beautiful.

I can't believe that you're out.

When the time came that I had to leave and go to this new house, she started crying.

And honestly, I was tearing up too because I didn't want to leave her.

I wish I could have just like stayed there with her all day because I was afraid.

I didn't know if she was going to be okay the next day.

Kathleen is released from hospital and goes back home to the family apartment.

She's still not well.

And the worst part of getting out of prison is that the first two weeks are the busiest weeks of your life.

You're running all around trying to get ID, trying to get your birth certificate, trying to

go to the DMV.

But I did make sure that I went to see her as much as possible.

Kelly's not just busy running around searching for documents.

Her movements are also restricted by a nightly curfew.

On the night of May 31st, just a couple of weeks after Kelly's release, her brother Ronnie calls her up in a panic.

He said, Mommy's not doing so good.

I said, what do you mean?

And he said,

she's not breathing that well on her own.

He goes, you have to come home here.

And I was on parole, so I had curfew.

Their mom's breathing gets shallower.

Kelly tells Ronnie to call an ambulance, and that she'll call him back right away.

I call Ronnie, and I said, what's happening?

And he's like, well, the ambulance is here.

They don't have a pulse.

I was standing outside.

I fell to the ground.

And I was like, oh my God.

Like, please, please, guy, please.

I need my mommy.

I need my mommy.

I need my mommy.

And then he said, Kelly, I have a bad feeling.

I have a bad feeling.

More and more EMS just keep.

He said, there's about 19 to 20 people up there.

After an achingly long 16 minutes, the crowd of EMTs managed to find a pulse.

Kathleen is taken back to hospital and put on a ventilator.

She dies the next day on June 1st, aged 72.

I have so much guilt for not just breaking curfew that once.

I listened to the stupid freaking curfew and went home.

But he needed me.

He needed me.

Ronnie needed me.

And so did my mother.

And my mother kept asking for me, he said.

So she knew she was dying.

My mother was asking for me on her deathbed.

You know, we could laugh about it now, but

her last

words were: Give me a cigarette.

My mother loved to smoke.

So

I have two shrines up in the house of hers, so I always put cigarettes there for her

because she never got the last one.

So I always put them there for her.

Kelly may be able to laugh about it now, but deep inside, she's still grieving, and she's still really angry.

I lost 13 years of my life with my mother

because I wasn't here.

Because I was in prison for something I didn't even got into.

It altered the whole family.

When they put me in prison, they put everybody in prison.

There's a lot going on in Hollywood.

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Variety has the solution.

Take 20 minutes out of your day and listen to the new Daily Variety podcast for breaking entertainment news and expert perspectives.

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This is Andrea Gunning from Betrayal.

Are there two sides to every story?

Academy Award nominee Robin Wright stars in The Girlfriend on Prime September 10th, a spine-tingling psychological thriller that will make you question everything you think you know.

Laura has the dream job, the perfect husband, and a son she'd die for.

But when her beloved Daniel brings home his new girlfriend Cherry, played by Olivia Cook, something feels off.

Is Cherry the sweet, sweet, innocent girl she appears to be?

Or is there something more manipulative beneath the surface?

And how far will a mother go to protect her son?

Also starring Lori Davidson, The Girlfriend is a twisted game of cat and mouse where nothing is what it seems and everyone has something to hide.

Don't miss the girlfriend streaming exclusively on Prime September 10th.

Sometimes the truth is just a matter of perspective.

After Kathleen dies, Ronnie and Kelly have her cremated, just like they did for their father, Danny, when he died about 20 years before.

My mom, when she used to get mad at him every once in a while after he was deceased, she would be like, you know what?

Throw those ashes out.

And I was like, no, mom, no, we're not.

When I was away, I told Ronnie, I said, please put daddy's ashes as high up as they could possibly go so that mommy can't find them.

And he did.

When Kelly gets back into their family apartment, she heads right for the closet.

Straining on tiptoes, she pushes past all the piles of old clothes and forgotten ornaments until she sees them, her dad's ashes, waiting in their container.

Kelly gently lifts them out.

I said, Tad, I know you're finally happy that you're out of the closet.

Oh God, he would laugh too if he was alive and heard me say that.

He was furthest thing from gay, but it was funny.

They have to borrow money for their mum's cremation.

None of them had any savings.

In fact, it was pretty much the opposite.

Kathleen had been in debt to the hospital pharmacy.

But thanks to a GoFundMe page set up for Kelly and help from a prison support group, Kelly and Ronnie are able to get some cash together.

When her ashes were finally delivered, Ronnie and I had already discussed going across the street.

I live across the street from the East River and disposing of their ashes together, daddy's ashes and my mother's ashes.

There's something about the Girlfriends and the East River.

No No matter which story we tell, we always seem to get called back to these waters.

You could find a hundred metaphors for life and death amongst the rolling waves.

Maybe we were meant to find ourselves here at the East River.

Drawn in by kismet or fate or whatever you want to call it.

But then again, maybe there's nothing to it.

And it's just one of those weird coincidences.

Maybe it's just a nice place to say goodbye to someone.

First, we started with my dad because we figured

he was first.

He's been very patient.

We started throwing his ashes and throwing rose petals and throwing his ashes, throwing rose petals, rose petals, throwing.

All of a sudden.

I cannot explain to you the way the water had changed.

We had been there for at least a half an hour already.

Not one solitary boat had passed by, and that's what creates waves.

It almost looked like a pond.

As soon as we started throwing my father's ashes in the water,

it started coming up.

These waves.

Waves.

But I didn't feel that they were violent.

I felt that it was his energy and I felt that he was happy to be free and I felt that he knew that his wife was coming finally.

And then when we finished with his ashes, we went to my mom's.

My mom's was very calm.

to the contrary

and I just kept throwing out rose petals and rose petals and rose rose petals.

Ronnie and I held each other's hands, said a prayer,

and

we thanked them for everything and thanked them for making us

into the people who we are today.

And

thank them just for

being our parents and that

we got it from here.

We'll never know how Kathleen feels about her ashes being scattered alongside her husband Danny's.

She did love him once.

Kelly still vividly remembers the pair of them kissing in that hotel pool in Disneyland.

But he's also the same man who went AWOL from his family time and again, who attacked his wife, wrapping a phone cord around her neck, causing her to get a restraining order.

Still, I can understand why Kelly would want them back together.

Ask any kid from a broken home, and usually, deep down, their most heartfelt wish is for their parents to reunite.

Maybe Kelly thinks that if she can bring her parents back together in the river, the effect will somehow ripple out and help heal the rest of her life.

Or maybe all this water's just going to my head.

Once Kelly's released from prison, she doesn't get to sit around pondering the symbolic connection between life and water like some artsy British podcaster.

She has to get back to work fast so she can start rebuilding her life and, just as importantly, start earning.

But that's easier said than done.

Part of Kelly's release agreement, when her charge was changed to manslaughter and she was sentenced to time served, was that she had to enter a new plea of guilty.

This wasn't what she wanted, especially after spending over a decade pleading her innocence.

If you're entering a plea of guilty, you're saying you did it.

But needs must.

I had to get home to my mother.

You have to do what you have to do sometimes.

Kelly isn't exonerated in the eyes of the justice system.

She's legally admitted her part in the killing of a man.

And that'll stay on her record forever.

So while she's now free, she has to deal with the price of that freedom for the rest of her life.

Trying to get a job, for example.

You can guess how many places want to hire someone with a record like Kelly's.

The only jobs that I've gotten thus far have been jobs from people that actually know me personally and they know what I am capable of, which is why I was actually hired straight out of Bedford Hills.

Like while I was still within the prison walls, I had a job with NYU law school.

But Kelly finds out this new job is only temporary.

Within four months, she's back looking for work.

I was under the impression that due to my vast legal knowledge, this was going to be a lot easier for myself than for the average person.

I mean, I've gotten many people out of jail.

I've gotten so many sentence reductions.

And the fact that they were not even hearing me out because of the fact that they see conviction, conviction.

It's October 1st, 2024.

I'm back with Kelly, who's in her apartment that she shares with her brother Ronnie and her 25 stuffed animals.

I know that jobs have been a big issue over the last kind of few months.

I just wondered where you're at with your trying to get work situation.

Yes, I'm actually currently trying to get work, and I've been trying so hard.

And there is not a day that I don't apply to at least 20 jobs.

And

when I open my emails every day, there are over 100 emails.

Sometimes there's 300, without exaggeration.

I go through every one with a font tooth comb.

So I have a full-time job right now of trying to get a full-time job.

Despite helping to get several women out of prison, Kelly's not a qualified lawyer in the eyes of the state.

After her release, she attended and graduated from a Columbia Law School paralegal program.

But her real dream is to become an attorney, an actual lawyer.

And for that, she needs to go back to law school, something that would take years and thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of dollars.

In the meantime, Kelly's applying for any work she can get.

Actually, speaking of which, I had gone on

a job interview.

I don't want to say the company's name, but it's a great, great company.

And they were going to make me a financial advisor.

And everybody really liked me there.

I didn't see a reason why I wouldn't get it.

And I believe they did not either.

They congratulated me and shook my hand.

And then, as I was walking away, stated, we just have to do a quick background check.

That's when my heart hit my stomach.

I cried and I cried and I cried for weeks.

I still cry.

There's never a week where I don't cry.

There's never a week.

And I'll tell you the truth.

It is not even over the conviction at this point, or at least I don't think it is.

If I could just get a chance to be the Kelly that I was when I was in there, I think I'll be fine.

But that's what kept me going, my work.

When you take my work from me,

now I don't have anything.

It's not just that Kelly's imprisonment and subsequent parole is impacting her job hunt.

It's that the new life she sacrificed so much for seems to be built on sand.

And I'm about to find out that Kelly's freedom is ready to slip away from her

at a moment's notice.

There's a lot going on in Hollywood.

How are you supposed to stay on top of it all?

Variety has the solution.

Take 20 minutes out of your day and listen to the new Daily Variety podcast for breaking entertainment news and expert perspectives.

Where do you see the business actually heading?

Featuring the iconic journalists of Variety and hosted by co-editor-in-chief Cynthia Littleton.

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This is Andrea Gunning from Betrayal.

Are there two sides to every story?

Academy Award nominee Robin Wright stars in The Girlfriend on Prime September 10th, a spine-tingling psychological thriller that will make you question everything you think you know.

Laura has the dream job, the perfect husband, and a son she'd die for.

But when her beloved Daniel brings home his new girlfriend girlfriend Cherry, played by Olivia Cook, something feels off.

Is Cherry the sweet, innocent girl she appears to be?

Or is there something more manipulative beneath the surface?

And how far will a mother go to protect her son?

Also starring Lori Davidson, the girlfriend is a twisted game of cat and mouse where nothing is what it seems and everyone has something to hide.

Don't miss the girlfriend streaming exclusively on Prime September 10th.

Sometimes the truth is just a matter of perspective.

Hi.

How you doing?

Good.

Nice to see you again.

We had such a crisis after you guys left yesterday yeah out of nowhere first and foremost my parole officer when kelly was released from prison in 2022 she was originally sentenced to five years post-release supervision aka parole

but just like in prison you're able to get time off for good behavior every 30 days that you abide by all of their rules which is curfew have a job be in the programs that they expect for you to be in then they give you 30 days back.

So, what it really boils down to is: if you're perfect like I was,

it's only two and a half years that you do.

Kelly's worked hard to get her parole time down so she can live her life on her own terms.

Not have to check in with some state-sanctioned babysitter every couple of months.

She's due to finish on November 5th, 2024, about a month on from the date of this recording.

Or at least, she was.

Last night, Kelly's parole officer stopped by.

Her visit was unexpected.

I was like, is she trying to catch me before I leave?

Like to see if maybe I'm not home.

Let me see if I can catch her.

Like, she missed her curfew.

So that was already weird.

She asked me if I ever took anger management.

Kelly has.

It was one of the conditions of her parole.

Of course, I took anger management.

And she's asked me that every single time that I've gone to see her.

And I was in that program for nine months.

So she proceeds to ask me where my certificate is.

I was never given a certificate.

I was told that it was to be given to my parole officer by the man who was conducting the program.

Then she asked me, Well, what else were you supposed to do?

Two and a half years later, I said, It feels weird that it's her parole officer asking Kelly this.

Like, shouldn't she know?

Kelly was also originally supposed to enter a 12-month substance abuse program.

But given that by the time of her release, she had been clean for over a decade, it was decided that this program could actually do Kelly more harm than good.

So she was given an exemption.

She says that this was outlined in a letter,

but her parole officer is sounding unconvinced.

So she said, Well, we don't have that letter.

So So I'm freaking out.

I said, well, where is it?

She said, I don't know.

I don't know.

But I need that.

You know, if you can't get them,

you're going to have to do the programs again.

And acted like it was nothing.

You know, you're just going to have to do the programs again.

That would mean that I would still be on parole at least nine months past my date.

I had the biggest nervous breakdown that I've had since my mother passed away.

I was screaming to the top of my lungs.

I broke down because being on parole

is not actually free.

Kelly's only hope is to track down her first parole officer who can confirm that she's completed all the programs she needs to.

I'm devastated.

I don't know.

I don't know where I stand with anything.

They got way too many years out of me already.

I'm sorry that you guys caught me on a day like this, but that's unfortunate where I'm at today.

Yeah, I'm so sorry.

Sorry, Reduck.

That sounds really hard.

Thank you.

I hope this your first officer would be able to help.

I hope so too.

Yeah.

She's my only hope.

Well,

look, I think the best solution for today is to not do the rest of the interview.

I was going to ask you about that.

Why don't we move it to another

And if you're around on Saturday, we have a free day then.

Oh, you do?

Okay, because I said that to Ronnie, I said, I don't see how I've been busy this whole time trying to tell you a story.

A nice, juicy narrative with a satisfying ending.

But this isn't just a story for Kelly.

This is her life.

And she's living it every single day.

As far as reality checks go, this one's about as subtle as a punch in the face.

I actually don't see Kelly in person again after this.

Her and Ronnie got COVID and I went back to London with no ending to my story.

As soon as I got home, I tried and failed to set up a few more interviews over Zoom.

But for some reason or another, Kelly would often end up dropping out.

I'll admit, I laid awake at night, worried these back-to-back cancellations may actually be because this was all too much for Kelly.

Revisiting her traumatic past when her present is inches away from falling apart.

So I gave her some space.

A few weeks later, I give Kelly a call.

The first question I wanted to ask you about was if you've had any kind of update on the parole officer, Malarkey.

Yes.

So

after

I had that whole nervous breakdown when she stated that basically she had nothing on me,

which means that every solitary parole.

Kelly goes on in a way that I've become used to.

Outlining all the issues with the parole board, how she had to track down her former parole officers and course leaders, all the pages of evidence she put together.

If left uninterrupted, I honestly think she could go on indefinitely.

Really call into question the integrity of the parole officer.

How could you not have she's not just talking, it's like she's testifying.

Like every day is her court day.

It makes me feel a little sad, honestly.

They'll make her a fucking great lawyer one day.

Eventually, I get the answer I'm hoping for.

Now I speak to you today as a free woman.

That's amazing.

Oh, congratulations, Kelly.

Thank you so much.

You must feel so relieved.

So relieved.

Now that the shadow of her parole has finally passed, Kelly can start to plan her life and hopefully build a future for herself.

What's like the um

what's the dream for the next five years?

The next five years, I would say the dream is for me to find

a paralegal job, one

that is permanent, and to climb the ladder within that firm.

And I know that I would climb the ladder very quickly.

I also would

love a chance to give back to

people in prison.

Honestly, where I would start if it were up to me is Rikers Island because they don't realize how important the law library is.

And it was always empty when I was there.

So

I feel that if given the chance, I would like to even possibly work at Rikers Island at the law library.

Really?

Yeah.

Wouldn't that be a bit much?

for you?

No, no,

because I want especially the women to understand their cases.

I think I have a mission from God.

I think I was put here to save souls by getting people out of prison.

That sounds like an insane statement, but that is my belief at this point.

I came to this story thinking I knew what to expect, but I couldn't have been more wrong.

I was searching for a clean, easy truth.

And I had all these preconceived notions of what it means to be a victim.

But when Kelly didn't fit into the role I tried to assign her, it made me question everything about her and a lot about myself too.

I've obviously interviewed a lot of people in my life who have had amazing experiences that are extraordinary.

But I've never met anyone like you who

all of your stories, they're often kind of shocking and like they're almost sometimes like hard to believe it's hard to believe that yes i say that all the time there's been a lot of insane stories i i agree yeah

you know i'm not going to apologize for what perceives to be miraculous stories what i will tell you if you fail to

understand them or even believe them then unfortunately you're the one missing out.

And I think that you need to pray more and have more faith.

Yeah,

fair enough.

I can safely say that I have never met anyone like Kelly Harnett before.

Kelly is loud and disruptive.

She's a former drug addict who's exercised violence on multiple occasions, both in self-defense against violent partners and in prison as a way of letting other inmates know that she's not to be fucked with.

Her battle for survival has been messy and at times ugly.

She's told me so many stories that make me want to grab her by the shoulders and tell her to stop making herself look so bad.

So, yeah, Kelly Harnett is no perfect victim.

But you can't call her a villain either.

She's a loving sister, a loyal friend, and you can't deny she worked fucking hard.

Even if you don't believe her account of the night Angel Vargas was murdered, if you think she did kick him, or that she's somehow more culpable than she says, Does that discount everything she went through at the hands of her brutal boyfriend?

Or everything she's achieved in the years following?

I don't think it does.

Kelly, a survivor of the most devastating trauma and abuse, taught herself the law, inside and out.

As a jailhouse lawyer, first in Rikers and then in Bedford, she brought hope to women who had been through hell and back.

Women whose entire lives had been an endless cycle of abuse and violence.

who often ended up trapped in terrible situations they were too scared to leave and who did whatever it took to survive.

She even helped some of them gain their freedom.

And ultimately, she freed herself.

But for Kelly, that freedom has come at a high price.

And I'm not just talking about the years she lost behind bars.

Her legal admission of guilt leaves a kind of scarlet letter hanging permanently around her neck, branded for life as a criminal.

I don't know if that feels like justice to me.

I can't sum Kelly up in a sentence, or even in a whole freaking podcast.

But maybe that's the lesson I need to take from this: that my job is just to tell people stories, not to neatly package them into categories, into victims, or villains, or anything else.

So

who is Kelly Harnett, really?

Well,

that's between her and the heavens.

We are currently in Immaculate Conception Church, and I've been coming here since I was 10 years old.

We're currently standing in front of

the sole representation that Immaculate Conception has of Saint Therese, my saint that has gotten me through literally life.

And it's a stained glass window of her.

It's showing her.

The window shows Saint Therese.

Her hair covered with a circular halo around her head.

There are beams of heavenly light all around her.

Her face is pale and she has wide chestnut-coloured eyes.

Close to her heart, she's holding a crucifix and a bouquet of roses.

As Kelly gazes up at her, she clasps her hands in prayer.

Saint Teresa, I do implore you to please send a shower of roses from the heavenly gardens as a message of love for the loss of Angel Reuben Vargas.

And I'd like to pray for not just him and his soul, I'd like to pray for his entire family and their souls as well.

I think of him all the time.

If he's my angel,

thank you for sending me

my angel.

But at the same time, it's very,

it's very bittersweet because

I don't want anyone's life to be taken away because of me.

So please also hold that with me, for it is too hard and too heavy for me to carry alone.

And I ask God to hold it for me.

I want to thank you for everything and for giving me the strength to go through everything that I've gone through and

to be able to get those women out.

Thank you for allowing me to save a few souls, just like you saved so many.

Thank you for choosing me for that job.

I have no regrets.

The Girlfriend's Jailhouse Lawyer is produced by Novel for iHeart podcasts.

For more from Novel, visit novel.audio.

The show is hosted by me, Anna Sinfield, and is written and produced by me and Lee Meyer, with additional production from Jayco Tayvich and Michael Ginnow.

Our assistant producer is Madeline Parr.

The editors are Georgia Moody and me, Anna Sinfield.

Production management from Cherie Houston, Joe Savage and Charlotte Wolfe.

Our fact checker is Dania Suleiman.

Sound design, mixing and scoring by Daniel Kempson and Nicholas Alexander.

Music supervision by me, Alice Infield, Lee Meyer and Nicholas Alexander.

Original music composed by Nicholas Alexander, Daniel Kempson and Louisa Gerstein.

Story development by Nell Gray Andrews and Willard Foxton, creative director of Novel.

Max O'Brien and Craig Strachan are our executive producers for Novel.

And Katrina Norvell and Nikki Etor are the executive producers for iHeart Podcasts.

And the marketing lead is Alison Cantor.

Thanks also to Carrie Lieberman and the whole team at WME.

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Kevin and Rachel and Peanut Min M's and an eight-hour road trip and Rachel's new favorite audiobook, The Cerulean Empress, Scoundrel's Inferno.

And Florian, the reckless yet charming scoundrel from said audiobook.

And his pecs glistened in the moonlight.

And Kevin, feeling weird because of all the talk about pecs, and Rachel handing him peanut MMs to keep him quiet.

Uh, Kevin, I can't hear.

Yellow, we're keeping it PG-13.

MMs, it's more fun together.

This is an iHeart podcast.