11/8/18 - Best of Program - Guest, Andrew Heaton

The Blaze Radio Network.

On demand.

Yeah, no, Alyssa Milano, very important, of course.

And Melissa Milano.

Yes, we find out that Glenn doesn't know what her name is.

That's one of the things that we're doing.

I don't really care.

Also, he doesn't know who Jim Acosta's name is.

That's another thing.

He was calling him Jim Acostas yesterday.

Today, he called him Jim Costa several times.

Did I really?

Oh, yeah.

I don't really care.

No, I mean, that's the point.

I don't really care.

Yes, I believe.

These people play such a small role in all of our lives, but the Jim Acosta story is important to take apart bit by bit.

Because when you actually take it apart and you really look at what happened, it's very, very, it's very clear

what CNN should be talking about today.

That is definitely true.

We go through that.

We talk about the shooting that happened in California today.

We'll get into that as well.

And

we hit on a new podcast that's coming out from the Blaze.

Yes.

Starring Andrew Heaton.

Something's Off with Andrew Heaton.

And we mean that as a statement.

And that also happens to be the new name of his podcast.

It's true.

Something's off with Andrew Heaton.

It begins on Monday, but we talk to him.

Very interesting and funny guy.

We have all of that in the podcast.

By the way, don't forget that if you would like to be a part of the team that is helping people, whether it's a fire in California or hurricanes, we raise so much money and this audience is so gracious that we have sent millions and millions of dollars.

Our aid workers are still in Florida.

In fact, some of our aid workers with Mercury are still in Houston building houses.

And it's all because of you.

The only way we can do this is we ask people on the air to donate and 100% of the money goes to,

you know, help the disaster victims.

None of it is for office costs, but every year we do a raffle.

And I'd like you to buy a raffle ticket if you would.

You could with a brand new Mercedes.

You could be driving a new Mercedes in a week in four days.

So go to mercuryone.org and help us help others.

We want the government to do less.

We have to do more.

Help us out, buy a raffle ticket,

and you could win a brand new Mercedes at mercury1.org/slash m1 ball.

Here's a podcast.

You're listening to the best of the blendbeck program.

It's Thursday, November 8th.

Home title lock is something that Stu turned me on to, and I immediately called and got this for my family because, I mean,

this is real crime that can be stopped, and nobody's looking at it.

Yeah, you're talking about one of the fastest-growing crimes in America.

It's happening to a lot of people because a lot of this is because it was always possible for this to happen.

Some cases have happened a long time ago, but it's happening much more because of the titles being stored online.

Basically, you know, people from all around the world can go target your

home.

They get your title.

They file some paperwork.

And then what happens?

You're in serious trouble because they're able to take control.

They can get

equity loans, hundreds of thousands of dollars.

You're stuck with all the court nonsense.

It really is.

It's really, it's really rough.

HomeTitleLock.com is the place to go.

They have a $100 scan that you can get for free if you go and sign up for Home Title Lock that one.

Find out if you're already a victim.

If you have rental properties, this is a big deal as well.

HomeTitleLock.com is the place to go.

Home TitleLock.com.

Stop this stuff before it starts.

Glenn back.

Where do we start?

Where do we start?

The migraine caravan?

Why not?

It's crawling towards the U.S.-Mexico border.

Did not have the overwhelming effect that Democrats hoped it would in Tuesday's midterm elections, and it doesn't didn't have the effect that I think maybe some in the Republican Party hoped it would have.

But it doesn't mean that it wasn't a factor.

Exit polling from Tuesday indicates that immigration was the second most important issue to voters right behind health care.

23% of voters said immigration was their top issue.

All the media attention heaped on the caravan, President Trump's reaction to it, did have an impact.

Though the election is over, the caravan is not turning back.

Confrontation at the border is inevitable, which means more chances for the left to demonize the president.

And believe me,

if you stand with the president, you are going to look like an Israeli, because that is exactly how this is going to be spun.

The big, bad Israelis against the poor, innocent Palestinians.

If you've been wondering exactly why a large immigrant garavan is headed our way in the first place, assuming for a moment that it is not just a political stunt, A story in the Washington Post has finally solved the mystery.

You want to know why?

The Washington Post reports it's climate change.

I mean, of course it's climate change.

How do we see this?

Stu, shame on you for not seeing that this was climate change.

A lot of thousands of migrants move all over the world when 0.9 degrees Celsius changes over a century.

It's going to be got a march out of Honduras.

This, according to the Washington Post, climate change is wreaking havoc on rural Honduras and pushing people north.

The story claims an unpredictable climate has ruined crops and created environmental challenges for millions of Honduran farmers.

To survive the bad harvests, people are fleeing to cities and even north to the U.S.

According to the story, Honduras is one of the most vulnerable countries in the world to climate change.

Wow.

All of that climate change just focused right there on Honduras.

Oh, it must be so horrible.

Farmers dealing with drought, unpredictable weather.

Wait a minute.

The post says that that's what it is?

Unpredictable weather and drought?

Yeah, that's totally new in world history, isn't it?

Humans have never had to deal with an area that has drought.

Climate change, cause and effect angle.

It definitely feels like just another way to toss some more fuel on this progressive bonfire.

But

they've got some experts.

One of the left's favorite fundraising causes, along with the experts, it's genius.

I mean, when you think about it, combining two hotbed leftist issues, migrant caravans, and climate change.

Oh,

this is

going to be fun to watch.

How do you fight against nonsense?

The best of the Glenn Beck program.

Talking about Jim Acosta, and we're taking Glenn Beck's parenting class 101.

Because let's just say that I have experience in things like this.

Let's just imagine for a second that I have two younger children.

Let's make up names.

One is Rafe and one is Cheyenne.

And Cheyenne is constantly needling Rafe constantly and does everything she can just to get under his skin, knowing that he has a temper and he's going to lash out.

Rafe, knowing that he is far from a saint on this, he also needles his sister.

I break this up all the time.

I don't care.

I don't care who started it.

You both are at fault.

Get along with each other.

Okay.

Now,

let's look at Jim Acosta and Donald Trump.

I don't know what that story of Rafe and Cheyenne have to do with these two.

We're hearing now one,

one of them, let's say the Rafe, Donald Trump, who has a temper and who is not an angel angel by any stretch of the imagination and has his own issues.

He's talking to Jim Acosta.

Let's say

he's Cheyenne, who is constantly needling just to get under his skin.

The Rafe character, Donald Trump, is answering the Cheyenne character, Jim Acosta, and is trying just to, okay, all right, yes, I know, I know, and I know, I got it, I got it, I got it, and trying to answer properly, trying to answer nicely,

but Jim Acosta just wants to be an advocate, not a journalist.

So let's pick it up where he started to say, you accused everybody of, you know, you're a racist because you were just throwing these poor migrant workers under the bus with a video.

Here it is.

I want them to come into the country, but they have to come in legally.

You know, they have to come in, Jim, through a process.

Process.

I want it to be a process.

And I want to...

Jim, did you get a job?

We don't need the people.

Without a process.

Wait, you know why we need the people, Danji?

Because we have hundreds of companies moving in.

We need the people.

Your campaign had an ad showing migrants climbing over walls and so on.

But they weren't active.

They're not going to be doing that.

They weren't active.

Stop just a second.

Now, Jim, how is it, I mean, other than you're an activist,

how is it that they're not going to be doing that?

Because it wasn't just a video of migrants.

It was a video of these quote-unquote migrants doing that to get into Guatemala and Mexico.

So, what evidence do you have that they will not be doing this to America?

This is not just some,

you know, random tape.

This is this, quote, migrant caravan.

Go ahead.

Well, no, it's true.

Do you think they were actors?

They weren't actors.

They didn't come from Hollywood.

These were people.

This was an actual

happened a few days ago.

They're hundreds of miles away.

They're hundreds and hundreds of miles away.

Stop just a second.

They're hundreds and hundreds of miles away.

Just like I guess, Jim, we could say the pipe bomber was hundreds and hundreds of miles away from you.

The Soviet Union was thousands and thousands of miles away.

You know, there is such a thing as spotting trouble before it is on your doorstep.

The Nazis were hundreds and thousands of miles away.

They were on the other side of the earth.

We ignored them.

Not Not probably the best idea.

Because when you do, you're out of options.

Now, listen to the rest.

It's not an invasion.

Honestly, it's not an invasion.

You should let me run the country.

You run CNN.

And if you did it well, your ratings are going to be a good question.

Let me ask you a question.

Now, he says, he's about to say,

what is the first thing you say?

If you want to have two questions with the president, when you stand up, what is the first thing you say?

Mr.

President, I have two questions.

Mr.

President, I have two questions.

Mr.

President, I have a question and a follow-up.

Okay?

Always.

He didn't say that.

You get one question.

There are hundreds of people in the room.

Jim wants another question.

Go ahead.

Ask one of the questions.

Mr.

President, if I may ask you another question, are you worried about the question?

That's enough.

That's enough.

Mr.

President, I was going to ask one of the other folks.

That's enough.

Pardon me, ma'am.

That's enough.

Mr.

President, I had one other question if I may ask on the Russian investigation.

Now, this is when the White House made its mistake later with Sarah Sanders.

They are trying to say that Jim Acosta accosted this woman.

No, he didn't.

No, he didn't.

Period.

There was no violence.

They didn't accost.

Was he rude to her?

Yes.

Because all he cares about is grandstanding.

That's all he cares about.

Let me ask you, what happens?

You know, people in the press say all the time now, oh, you know, he's got a right.

No, he doesn't.

No, he doesn't.

He was called on.

The president asked and answered his questions.

He called on him.

So now he wants to grandstand.

Now he's not going to surrender the microphone.

Let me ask you, what happens when you are at a lecture series and they take questions from the audience and somebody won't sit down?

Eventually the crowd says, shut up and sit down.

But not here because the crowd is against.

the Rafe character.

They're all in bed with Cheyenne.

They want to prove how violent Rafe is.

So what happens?

The president says, enough, enough, enough.

His temper is getting the best of him.

He walks away from the microphone.

So he doesn't say anything stupid.

He walks away from the microphone, hoping that someone will say, come on, Jim, knock it off.

We all have questions here.

But nobody does.

He sends in the person to take the microphone to be able to pass it to the next journalist.

Jim Acosta won't do it.

When you're at a comedy club, club, do you want some decorum?

You're at a lecture, comedy club, press conference, college classes, and they say, Mike check, Mike, check, mic, check, mic, check, and everybody starts chanting something.

You don't have a civilization anymore.

If you don't have some sort of decorum, if you don't have some sort of rule,

then you have anarchy.

Maybe that's why CNN doesn't have a problem with Antifa, because they are creating anarchy everywhere they go.

Now, I am not saying that Donald Trump isn't

a spoiled little brat at times,

but I'll deal with him later.

We're talking about you.

I'd like CNN to know, and Jim Acosta, I would just like to know, do you have a process or can anybody just get on the air?

Because if this is the way it is, I'm going to just stand by your live broadcast and don't you dare stop me.

Don't you dare try to push me out of the way.

I'm going to have airtime.

This isn't the way a civil society works.

White House, no one was hurt.

There was no assault.

Period.

Did the president go on and did he lose his temper?

Yes, but I was shocked that he held it this long.

CNN is the real villain here.

CNN, not Jim Acosta.

That's what he does.

Not

Donald Trump.

That's what he does.

The real problem here is CNN.

You should have fired him or disciplined him.

Don't behave this way.

Because I don't know about you, but I can't find a good guy or a bad guy in yesterday's press conference.

I think the advantage goes to the president because the president tried to be civil.

At what point,

what options does he have left?

Is he just going to let Jim Acosta take the press conference and hijack it every time Jim Acosta wants to hijack it?

No,

CNN.

no.

CNN is the one at fault.

They should fire him or they should have at least suspended him and say, we do not treat any president.

And let me ask you this, Press Corps.

You're whining about freedom of speech.

Are you really?

Would you have accepted anyone,

anyone from standing up and saying these kinds of things to President Obama's press conference or President Obama himself.

Anyone, if he would have said, enough, enough, enough, sit down.

Mr.

President, you are lying.

You are lying about $2,500 coming back to every family.

You are lying, sir.

No, we just have a difference of opinion.

No, sir, that is not a difference of opinion.

You are lying.

Are you telling me you would have accepted a Fox reporter in the press pool saying that to the President of the United States?

And you would have said, oh no,

you've got to stand up.

We all have to stand up behind that Fox reporter.

You wouldn't have done it.

You know you wouldn't have done it.

Shame on you, CNN.

Shame on you.

Oh, we remember what happened when someone who was not restrained by journalistic rules,

just another congressman, said, you lie.

Do you remember the reaction from the media?

All they did was say, you lie.

And by the way, that claim wound up being in part of Hillary Clinton's platform when she was running for president.

The claim that

Barack Obama supposedly was

what he was lying about there.

But, I mean, remember that reaction?

It was a story for weeks.

It was a story about how racist this congressman was.

I mean, look, I'm with you, and I don't think either one of them handles it well.

I don't know why the president elevates Jim Acosta.

All it does is help his ego.

When you ban him, he's just going to turn into a martyr.

I don't think any of this is worthwhile.

President wins this one, though, I think.

He actually was...

I thought he was restricted.

He was present for who he was.

Here's the only part that I didn't like is when

he said,

you're a rude little man or something like that.

He said, you're a rude,

terrible person.

A terrible person.

And I happen to agree.

Yeah, it seems like good analysis of Costa.

Yeah, yeah.

I happen to agree with him.

However,

that started to border in, and here's where he went wrong.

You shouldn't treat people like that.

Well, Mr.

President, don't get electric under.

Don't go there because you don't have a good record of that yourself.

And let's not forget,

Trump doesn't have to call on him.

He did.

He extended the courtesy because he's a well-known guy.

Go ahead.

Start badgering me.

He shouldn't.

I would much rather have that be the outcome than

four questions in.

He already asked either three or four questions when he still wanted another one.

And then they finally tried to take the microphone from him.

But you're

going to need one.

What are you going to do?

What are you going to do?

This is honestly somebody standing up in a comedy club and trying to

hijack the show.

That's not what we're here for.

We're not here for you, Jim Acosta.

We are here for President Trump.

That's what we're here for.

He is the star of this show.

You've asked your question.

Sit down.

What option did the president have?

Well, he could have not called on him, right?

Yes.

And probably the smartest thing to do.

However, CNN would have said, oh, they're not calling on us.

They're not calling on us.

And that's fine with me.

But okay, so there's that option.

Probably the best option.

Once he called on him, what is the president supposed to do?

I mean, he

cut the mic.

What happens all the time with Sarah Huckabee Sanders, right?

She deals with this every single day, and she just talks over them, and she points to another reporter, and then she comes back and all the talking.

And you just keep doing it.

And by the way, he didn't do.

There was nothing in that interaction.

Yeah, he was insulting to him, but that's who Donald Trump is.

It's something we've all priced into who he is.

And I think we've all priced in that Jim Acosta is a ridiculous grandstander.

He's not a reporter.

He's out there timing a name for himself.

Autographs.

He's ridiculous.

He takes pictures of himself in the mirror every other day.

He's ridiculous.

He's not a reporter at all.

There's plenty of people in that press corps.

Obviously, Tapper would never behave this way.

Now,

all the reporters have each other's backs, which is also bad, by the way.

Just like you complain about when the president

and all of the president's supporters support him no matter what.

You should also be critical occasionally of reporters when they do something wrong.

But I mean, again,

we are critical of a lot of the reporters that

cover the White House and do you know the people who cover everything.

Everybody else seems to be able to handle this interaction.

Every other reporter seems to be able to ask their questions and not try to puff their chest up and make themselves into the most important person in America.

Only Jim Acosta has this issue.

CNN likes it because it's ratings, period.

And by the way, CNN didn't really have anything to say about the reporter that called him a racist pig on the air.

I mean, you know,

it's ridiculous.

CNN is just a joke.

Let me take your temperature on this, though.

Do you suspend his pass?

Do you go and say you can no longer come into the White House?

That's what they did to Acosta after this transaction.

To me, I feel like...

I'm okay with it.

I'm kind of okay with it.

I'm okay with it.

I wouldn't.

I don't care.

I don't care about his right to go.

Because honestly, it's not.

Give me another reporter, CNN, if you want another reporter.

I can understand why CNN would be like, look, we choose our reporters.

You don't get to tell us who our reporters are.

Okay, well, then you can't come in.

I mean, maybe.

To me, I just think you're puffing up his ego.

I feel like you're doing him a service.

You're elevating him to the same level as the freaking president of the United States.

Here's the thing:

here's what he should have done.

He should have

just said,

CNN,

I'm not going to take away his credentials.

He's more than welcome.

I'm not calling on him.

I'm not calling on him until until you tell me he is going to abide.

He doesn't have to agree with me, but he has to abide by simple standards of decorum.

If he'll do that, he can come in.

But you send whoever you want.

I don't have to pick them.

This is the best of the Glenn Beck program, and we really want to thank you for listening.

Like listening to this podcast?

If you're not a subscriber, become one now on iTunes.

And while you're there, do us a favor and rate the show.

The great, the wonderful Beyoncé wants you to know that she can be whatever she wants, whenever she wants.

Sure, she's a musician.

And if you count 22 Grammys and 63 Grammy nominations it's fair to say that she is considered pretty darn good although who's to say how much she actually writes or performs besides singing and occasionally rapping but Beyonce wants you to know she's more than just a mega singing dancing superstar Beyonce can also be an academic that's right no PhD or or prior research needed.

If she wants to be an academic, voila, she is done.

A few years ago, around the time that she appeared on an award show in gilded lingerie, in front of a sign that said feminist, Beyoncé wrote an academic paper titled Gender Equality is a myth.

And yes, she used an exclamation point after the word myth.

It must be science and it must be important.

Now, know that Beyoncé happens to be one of the most privileged people on the face of the earth, but she never has to check that privilege at the door.

Which brings me to our point.

One of the many roles that Beyonce has awarded herself is political activist, and she's one of the best.

She prances around the world, spouting off what some lower citizens might say is nonsense

because she's a professor of political science.

How do I know?

She wants to be.

So she is.

She might even say that she's a longtime politician with all kinds of experience.

And if she says it, she is.

Believe me, her opinions matter more than yours.

See, that's what you really need understand, America.

You need to understand these people are better than you.

They're smarter than you.

Now,

this,

I suppose, little misunderstanding with you, the little people in the country,

is why she has now been named the most divisive celebrity in the country.

You know, to this American broadcaster, she's not divisive.

You know why?

Because

I don't know a damn thing she says.

You know why?

Because I don't give a flying crap about Beyoncé.

I don't listen to her music.

I don't listen to her rap.

I don't watch the Grammy Awards.

If she's on something, I don't avoid it, but she's generally not on any program that I would be interested in.

I don't follow her on Twitter.

I don't follow her in tweets.

I don't follow anyone that generally would be all wrapped up in what Beyonce says.

So my life is Beyonce free.

And for that, I fall to my knees and thank God.

But actors and musicians have always,

always done this weird thing where they interpret their fame to be a malleable, godlike expertise, because

well

of course I'm not a race car driver but I've played a race car driver of course I'm not a president in the nuclear bunker but I've played one

People in their minds worship them for their abilities as an actor or musician they assume that they possess unlimited knowledge and that their opinions matter more than oh I don't know someone with actual knowledge we're all quite familiar with this Beyoncé act.

Leading up to the midterms, Comedy Central poked fun at this.

All Americans are asking themselves the same questions.

Should I vote?

How will I know that I should vote if celebrities don't tell me to?

Does Emma Stone think I should vote?

What about John Krasinski?

Have you guys seen A Quiet Place?

Yes, but that isn't what this is about right now.

It's about celebrities.

Telling regular Americans that they have to vote.

Many normal Americans like us don't know what we should do until celebrities tell us what to do.

That's right.

And as a quasi-celebrity myself,

I can tell you that that joke is funny.

And you should follow the advice of quasi-celebrities.

The justice now is that people have come to see through the cloud of smugness coming from celebrities.

And yes, even the quasi-celebrities.

This week's elections proved people no longer are swayed by celebrity endorsements.

Sure, Taylor Swift can sing a sweet love song.

And all of her fawning over Democratic governor Phil Whats's face just wasn't enough to win him the spot.

But maybe she'll write another sad song.

The same thing happened with candidates endorsed by Dave Chappelle, who is really funny.

But I don't need to have Dave Chappelle tell me what to do.

Oprah Winfrey, who everyone says, you've got to run Oprah Winfrey because she's the ultimate goddess celebrity.

Everybody loves Oprah, except she couldn't get the job done.

Will Farrow, most famous probably for

dressing as an elf, tried to get everybody to, you know, vote his way, didn't work.

Rihanna, Puff, Daddy, and scores of other Hollywood elite who championed Betto.

didn't work out.

Little odd that so many Hollywood actors were fawning over a candidate in a Texas election, but they were.

Conservative strategist Chris Barron told Fox News, quote, Last night, the American voters once again told Hollywood that they simply do not care what they think.

All across the country, Hollywood darlings were rejected by the voters.

Hollywood, can you hear us?

Act and shut up.

Your opinion is no more valuable than anyone else's.

We all have armpits, just like we all have opinions.

Most of us have two armpits, but I don't think anybody wants to smell mine, even one of them, and I certainly don't want to smell yours.

Keep your armpits and your opinions to yourself, unless you're a quasi-celebrity that makes his money, and it is his primary job, to spout political opinions.

You see,

it seems, strangely, because my opinion really is not worth any more than anyone else's,

people come here to hear that opinion.

I know it's weird and strange,

but it makes me feel

just a little superior to the Hollywood celebrity.

And for that,

too,

I fall to my knees and thank God.

This is the best of the Glenbeck program.

I have something really exciting to announce, and I wanted to announce this a couple of weeks ago, but

Andrew just wouldn't get off his butt and actually sign anything.

So I'm really excited to announce that we are adding a new podcast, a new show to the Blaze lineup, and it is Andrew Heaton.

And you say to yourself, finally, a guy I've never heard of.

That's what America wants.

That's what America never heard of.

This guy is really, really funny, very intelligent, very intelligent,

does not play the political game at all,

and is a classic liberal, if you will, a libertarian,

and doesn't have a horse in the race.

And so he comes at things at a really refreshing

place.

And we were just talking off the air.

It is a pleasure.

I've worked with him now for the last, what, three weeks here?

And it's a pleasure to be around him because he is so grateful.

I mean, didn't you just move from New New York?

I did I moved well I moved to from New York by way of Austin so I was in Austin Texas which is Austin's kind of like if Brooklyn had a kid in Texas

so I had like an intermediate state but yeah I basically

escape New York and have this attitude I you know part of it was I I knew and like I still some of my best friends live in New York there's really good people in New York specifically 12.

There are 12 really good people in New York

right now.

Eight of them are my friends.

I'm from Oklahoma originally, which is the Canada of Texas.

So

I never really fit in in New York.

And

what I finally figured out is there's actually a different etiquette model that's working there.

Like in Oklahoma, you show respect by engaging people.

You say good morning, you say hi, and you just make conversation.

It's fine.

In New York, you show respect by giving people space.

And it took me a couple of years to figure out that I was a very, very rude person

by New York standards.

And I think the aha moment was I was visiting Austin for a comedy festival, and I was on the boardwalk, and some teenagers saw me.

I was on a bike.

Some teenagers saw me and ran up and I started tensing and they just went, yeah, and high-fived me and ran away.

And I went, that's Texas.

It's just a bunch of happy people running around high-fiving.

And then I went back to New York that weekend and I saw

people who I presume are neighbors because they were unloading their car near me.

They were unloading camping equipment.

And the lady had on a fedora and I stopped and went, that is a really sharp hat.

And they both turned to me and their heads swiveled at the slow, slow degree.

And they went, yeah.

And I went, Okay, I don't belong here.

This is just weird.

Like, I'm never gonna fit in.

You guys are always gonna find me irritating.

I'm always gonna find you aloof.

And, like, so I wanted to move back to the middle of the country.

Yeah.

So, we convinced him to move to Dallas and come do a podcast with him.

And I want to play, I heard a rehearsal podcast.

I hope you don't mind.

We've taken it and I've taken a couple of parts of it.

This is just a rehearsal podcast.

It begins on Monday, but

something's off with Andrew Heaton.

That's a statement and the name of the podcast.

And here it is.

Listen.

Hello, and welcome to Something's Off with Andrew Heaton, proudly brought to you by Snuffies, off-Route 44.

Snuffies is a great American diner where, as you know, all of the waiters take your order and deliver your food to you from a horse.

Yes, you'll be at one of the great, great places in the United States in terms of eating and in terms of low prices, and you and your family will have a joyous day having all of your food you serve by horseback.

If you've ever been to Sonic and you've seen a high schooler on rollerblades delivering meals and you thought that's very impressive, you will be angry at what a gullible yokel you were for being impressed by such a paltry feat of locomotive skills when compared to the grandeur and majesty of a waiter delivering your food to you on horseback through a diner.

Snuffies off Route 44 because everything tastes better from a horse.

New iPhones are coming out, and I put my head together with some friends for apps that we'd like to see in this next generation.

One, I think this would be of tremendous benefit to the United States at large.

A social hookup app that makes people uglier on the phone.

So when you meet them in person, it's a relief.

I think that would help.

That would be good for America.

I've come up with this app before.

It's called Rebound, which you can...

Why is that not a thing?

Like TM Rebound.

That's my intellectual property now.

You can't use that.

You can contact me if you've got a good idea.

An app that can shoot a lightsaber out of your iPhone jack.

That sounds cool.

And then finally, I think this one would be super cool.

I'm actually in development deals on this one.

An app that reads NPR stories in the voice of Alex Jones.

I think that that would be a really interesting crossover.

I would love that.

While in Saskatchewan, a certain tribe is making wind chimes out of used.

I don't know what they, you know, you can fill in the NPR story, but I think it would be really interesting to hear it in Alex Jones' angry, hoarse voice.

Okay.

Then you went in,

then you would start talking about brilliant ideas.

I forgot I came up with all of this.

Then he went into a deal about Russia.

And I think the Russian spy, the hot Russian spy had just been disported.

I forget her name off the top of my head, but there was somebody that had come in like a few years ago, and she'd been the head of like a gun organization, and she'd kind of been a honey.

Okay, so

everybody is talking about whether this is fake or whether this is real.

And I stop in the hallway to listen to his test podcast.

And

here's how Andrew Heaton was dealing with it.

I would like to thank Russia for sending us hot lady spies.

I think that is a gesture of respect to our country, and that makes me like them more.

I have lots of problems with the Russian regime.

I don't like authoritarianism.

I think Putin is a

sociopathic psychopath.

And they tried to interfere in our election and perhaps did.

So those are all issues that I'm concerned with.

However,

they are

taking the actual James Bond gentleman's agreement that we have with Russia, which is you send over your hot people, hot men and women, both,

and you have them sleep with our people.

And that's how gentlemen conduct espionage.

I'm not going to point any fingers at any other large nations that

we're periodically in trouble with and or in a trade war with.

But as I understand it, nations that we're currently in a trade war with are mostly just hacking us from a computer somewhere in China

or from wherever, whatever country I'm not talking about.

No one's getting sex out of that.

We aren't getting any hot people.

So

he's got a very different look at things.

And I don't know about you, but I just want to laugh.

They didn't even talk about that on NPR, the whole sex angle.

That wasn't even there.

No.

Maybe if they had it in Alex Jones's voice, they would.

That's true.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm with you.

I think, like, right now is so tense and it's so angry.

And like, I'm, I'm really grateful for the opportunity to have a podcast with you guys and to, and to, to, I want to have a place where people can hang out and we'll we'll be thoughtful, but we're going to have fun.

I don't want people to leave like needing statins.

I want people to leave feeling better.

You came, I mean, one of the things, the first thing I think I saw you on was your stuff for reason.

You did

mostly weekly with Andrew Heath, which I freaking loved.

Thank you very much.

We were the two that watched it.

Oh, well, that means my mom wasn't watching it.

No, there were only two people watching it.

I will tell you that this is the first question I asked in the job interview.

Were you going to take it there?

No, I was not going to, no.

Oh, I was going to say, because we watched it and we loved it.

And

I said to Ender, were you in there?

Because I said to him, okay, so.

I mean, maybe we're completely wrong about you because we cannot figure out why that wasn't a huge success because it was really funny.

I remember that.

That was baffling.

You were like, I don't mean this offensively.

I don't mean this weirdly, but how are you not more successful?

And

that was like the weirdest

mind question.

Like, for days, I would just stare at the ceiling going, what happened to me?

I agree, I should be a big deal.

I apparently think so.

Why am I not a big deal?

Yeah, yeah.

Mostly weekly was a lot of fun.

I mean, the premise to that for the, you know, I mean, probably 5% of your viewers haven't watched it.

95% probably go to sleep to it.

The premise to that was it was basically a Craigslist version of John Oliver from a libertarian perspective.

It was on Reason, which is kind of the flagship libertarian publication.

And I just, I wanted to, I wanted to tackle a lot of the issues that I didn't think were either getting represented or were getting represented poorly.

Like the one that got the most views, I think, was on net neutrality, because I was the only humorist, the only one that was like, wait a minute.

So you guys hate Donald Trump.

who's the head of the government, and you want to give the government control of the internet.

I just don't see the logic train there.

You know that he appoints the FCC, like the guy you hate, Ajit Pai.

Trump appointed that guy.

So like, I like that,

I won't go off my rant about net neutrality.

And I thought that one was going to do so poorly because it's so wonky, but it became like, it became this huge kind of psychological proxy battle.

I think people are

actually hungry to think.

Yeah.

I really do.

We're in a really interesting place right now where

attention span is like, come back.

You know, you can, we could like.

Yeah.

But like with podcasts and things, you can actually have like it, like a long conversation and not thinking and sound bites.

And people are saying, thank you.

Oh my gosh, thank you.

I can't believe there was an actual conversation that happened.

Yeah, it's like there's always a back and forth with that, right?

I think there's that idea that for years, I mean, Twitter is certainly a great example of it, but everyone, you know, going to, you know, pivoting to video on the web and everyone had shorter and shorter and shorter articles and there's just no substance.

And I think the podcast world gives you a chance to laugh a lot and really go into depth on a topic.

And I think

it's a pushback against this short attention span.

I think it's much wanted.

Opposite of Twitter.

And I like

Twitter scares me.

They might have released this, but I used to work in Congress.

I worked for a couple of members of the House.

And while I was there, the Library of Congress purchased all tweets in perpetuity.

And

I was an undergraduate as a history major.

And I looked at that and thought,

all of of history comes from about three different sources.

It comes from junk people left behind,

from propaganda, and from the letters of Benjamin Franklin.

That accounts for all of the junk.

But the big one's junk.

Like, almost everything we know is literally just broken pottery shards.

And I looked at the Twitter feed and was like, in the 25th century, that's how we are going to be remembered, is through the asinine junk we put on Twitter and Facebook.

They're going to go.

In the 21st century, people hated Mondays.

And they loathed whatever political party they weren't, but they loved cats wearing costumes.

Like, that'll be our contribution to the zeitgeist.

I will tell you that it is, we are going to be looked at by historians as morons.

To get deep for a second, I'll tell you what I think how they're going to look back on us.

I think we live in an absolutely amazing time.

I think that

this is very much like the same thing as the invention of the printing press or the invention of the agricultural revolution.

I think this is a pivot point for the entire species.

I agree.

But I think at the same time, historians are going to look back and go, wow, they must have been so lonely.

I think this is the loneliest period in all of human history.

And I think that's why, in politics right now, people are so thirsty to be a part of a political party, because it gives them the sense of belonging.

And I think that's why tribalism is on the rise, because everybody's so alienated, they're desperate for something to plug into.

Why do you think, what do you mean lonely?

So

I think for one thing,

just from an evolutionary perspective, we've been around about 300,000 years, and for most of that, we've been camping.

6,000.

6,000.

Okay, go ahead.

Just saying it just to get

the argument started.

Yeah, yeah.

But even then, even then, let's go with 6,000, right?

For most of those 6,000 years.

Could be 12.

Could be 12.

Why do you settle on it?

Let's do 6.

I'll lowball it.

All right, good.

For 6,000 years,

you're mostly living with your best friends.

You're living in a village.

I mean, unless you're in the army, the bulk of human history never goes more than 30 miles from where they grew up.

And so

I was talking to friends about this because I went to several weddings this summer.

That feeling you get when you're at a wedding and you're like, oh, my uncle, that's normal.

That's the normal human state that when you're surrounded by people.

And what we've done is we went, or, or I could live in a box by myself.

And then we added to that, I'm going to, I'm going to further remove myself from people.

I'm not going to go to the Elks Lodge.

I'm not going to go to church.

I'm not going to go to the bowling league of the improv team.

I'm just going to connect through Facebook.

And it doesn't hit it.

And I think, as a result, we've become so distant from one another.

And that sense of community is broken down.

Well, there's, for instance, companies are very, very hard to run over, I think it's 120 people.

Dunbar's number.

Yeah, it just

starts to fall apart because it's completely different.

Yeah.

Because there's something about culture at about 120 people.

And the human experience, I think it's, I think we're supposed to, we are geared to have about 50 friends, 50 people in our lives that we kind of really know and

we can handle that.

After, I think, I can't remember the number exactly, but it's a very low number, like 50.

After that, it all starts to fall apart on us.

We are not used to having all these relationships and being

involved in this gigantic conversation with people all over the world.

We just don't, we're not geared that way.

Yeah.

We're, I mean, we're, we're, yeah, there's, there's a, a fascinating study by a guy named Robert Dunbar, and he came up with Dunbar's number, which is, I think, the 120 you're citing.

And it's, I mean, basically, I think the easiest way to explain it is after 150 people, you need name tags, and that, that changes the whole dynamic of the group.

Yeah.

And when you've got 150 people, you think about like being able to arbitrate disputes with neighbors.

If you know, if you're in a neighborhood of 150 people, you can deal with that as a group.

You get above that, you start needing some kind of external authority to come in.

If you don't know the the other person, it becomes harder.

It's really interesting that you say this because

this is the one thing that Jefferson and Adams argued right before they died.

They said, you know, one of them said to the other, this is going to fall apart.

And the other said, no, it will.

But then they will remember what we were trying to do, and they'll go back to Deuteronomy.

And the other said, that's the problem.

We didn't do enough Deuteronomy, which

we're dealing with.

I know what that means, but for listeners that aren't familiar with Deuteronomy.

Deuteronomy is the Bible.

And it's kind of the law part of the Bible.

Okay.

And

in there, they talk about how society needs to be broken up, and it needs to be broken up into what are called stakes.

And I think it's about 150 people.

And so, what they wanted to do, yeah, what they did.

This is in Deuteronomy?

They're like organizing

people.

Yeah.

So, what they wanted to do was divide the country into what are called stakes.

So, you'd have 150 people or 150 families, whatever it is, and then when it hit 170, it would break in half and it would be now two squares.

And it was that and it would just keep breaking up to keep that number.

So you would know your neighbor.

And they didn't put that in our Constitution.

And that's why we have this gerrymandering where you don't really know who to talk to.

And this is important, probably a good time to note that you are limiting the amount of listeners to your podcast to 150.

That's right.

You got to get in fast, guys.

We're cutting it off on 150 people.

So it starts on Monday.

It starts on Monday, yeah.

Starts on Monday.

Something's off with Andrew Heaton.

Yeah, and I don't even know if you can subscribe yet, but it will be up on the Blaze, and you'll get it wherever podcasts you find podcasts.

I've come up with a selection of my favorite mostly weekly episodes.

Oh, really?

And I'm going to be tweeting them out all day today.

So

Stu, go there.

He's at Mighty Heaton.

Please.

He's really, really, really, really funny.

And we're thrilled to have you a part of this.

I am happy to be here, guys.

I think it's going to be a lot of fun.

Okay.

Andrew Heaton

crush his soul within six months.

Oh, yeah.

So he'll be a broken man soon.

So get him while he's still

spirited.

Thank you so much, Andrew.

I appreciate it.

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