Best of the Program with Pat & Jeffy | 9/27/18

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Hello, and welcome to the Glenn Beck Program Podcast.

This is Jeff Fisher, Jeffy.

Pat and I filled in.

Pat Gray and I filled in for Glenn today.

Glenn is still way under the weather.

He did not have a voice and was not feeling well at all.

And that's good that he's sick now because you don't want him sick in October and November as the book tour begins for addicted to outrage.

You can go to Glenbeck.com slash tour to get your tickets and find out where he's going to be.

We're trying probably to add some cities as time comes, so just keep an eye on close to where you live.

Go to Glenbeck.com slash tour.

Starts October 25th in San Antonio, Texas, and goes, we go to San Antonio, Houston, Dallas, Richmond, Virginia, Hershey, Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and we go on to Cleveland, Ohio, Kansas City, Missouri, Evansville, Indiana, Tulsa, Oklahoma, November 30th in Tampa, and December 1st in Orlando, Florida.

Glennbeck.com slash tour.

Today we spent some time talking a little bit about Donald Trump's press conference yesterday.

The press conference went on for about 23 hours and 43 minutes.

And we discussed that.

He just wrapped it up, as a matter of fact, before the show started.

And then we talked a little bit about Don Lemon and how he felt about the Ted Cruz event getting shouted out of a restaurant.

We did find out, however, just as a side note, that the restaurant, we were angry at the restaurant when really they did the right thing and kind of shuttled Ted and his wife off into a side room until they got rid of the protesters and then brought them back to eat their dinner, which was good news.

And then, of course, we had the Senate Judiciary Committee Senate hearings.

We carried that live.

We got to hear from Christine Blasey Ford, and we got to hear that get started today.

And we talked a lot about the accusations against Brett Kavanaugh.

And my gosh, it's like the Democrats are just throwing everything, including the kitchen sink, to keep Brett Kavanaugh off the Supreme Court.

So enjoy the show, and we'll hope that Glenn gets better and is back tomorrow.

Thanks.

You're listening to the best of the Glenbeck program.

It's Thursday, September 27th.

Glenn back.

I don't know the schedule of events, but I would assume that

Kavanaugh will make some kind of statement and then

Blasey Ford, if she's there, will make some kind of statement and then be asked questions.

Yeah, it was leaked to her statement that was

the prepared statement, the full transcript.

So it's surprising.

I don't know that that means that she's going to show up and here's what she's going to say.

Or if it means she's not going to show up and here's what she had to say to put in the record.

But it describes

everything about the

incident?

The incident, yeah.

The incident where two other men have come forward, by the way, now and said they were the ones that did it.

Yeah.

Not Brett Kavanaugh.

They came forward to the Senate Judiciary Committee to claim that they're the ones who actually assaulted Christine Blasey Ford during the House party that she described in 1982.

Republicans on the committee released a timeline of events late last night, which included details about their interactions with the two men.

The timeline recounts GOP staff members interviewing a man who believes he, not Judge Kavanaugh, had the encounter with Dr.

Ford in 1982.

That's fascinating.

That is.

But that's not what she says, though.

I know it.

But why would you're going to get two men to come and admit to this when they didn't do it?

No way.

Who's going to do that?

Now, I know the statute of limitations probably prevents any kind of prosecution, but you could be sued civilly.

It could ruin your reputation.

So that's a pretty bold move.

If they didn't do it and they're saying they did just to save Brett Kavanaugh's nomination,

I don't know who would do that or why.

Well, I don't either.

But, you know, like, of course, you know, they could have come forward like one of the accusers and just been, you know, all anonymous.

Yeah.

You know, like the anonymous mother who was speaking on behalf of her anonymous daughter.

Right.

And it was backed up by three of her anonymous friends.

Yeah, the only person who wasn't anonymous was Brett Kavanaugh.

And

he pushed some woman up against the wall

in a physical and sexual way.

Right.

But the woman was anonymous.

But she was anonymous.

There's three other anonymous people who can verify it.

Right.

And will verify it because they saw it.

But anonymously, of course.

And the mother of the anonymous daughter was told this from her anonymous daughter.

Believe me.

That's a fact.

That's, man, it doesn't get any more factual.

It does not.

It really doesn't.

You can't deny it.

So here,

on this particular episode, we're supposed to believe that they're walking out of a restaurant together, and then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, Brad Kavanaugh just grabs one of them and jams him up against the wall.

Because he's been drinking.

I guess he was the only one drinking in this bar.

Couldn't possibly be that all the other people that were with him were drinking.

No.

If it took place at all, obviously.

Right.

And yes,

and then he slammed her up against the wall.

Sexually violently.

I'm not sure I know what that means.

Sexually violently.

I think the quote, I was trying to think, that's not the actual quote, but it is something like that.

It is like that.

Yeah, because I remember thinking at the time, what exactly?

You'd have to really see that.

I mean, I think

I think that's kind of like you know it when you see it.

Yeah, I guess.

It's just bad.

That one supposedly happened in 1998.

Yeah.

So the year is not unknown.

The people are anonymous, except for Brett Kavanaugh.

And we don't know very many details, but we do know it happened in 1998, and he was drunk, as he always is.

Right?

I think we're finding out that Brett Kavanaugh has been drunk about 98% of the time he's been alive.

Well, I mean, it certainly makes sense because, I mean, I thought the first time I saw his testimony, I thought, is he drunk?

Nobody thinks that.

No,

And really,

serious business.

If you

are this guy who is

a mad drinker partying, assaulting women,

going to parties, standing in line, waiting to have sex with separate women, and this happened over the course of many years and many parties.

Do you think that

an FBI background check, someone, someone else who was standing in those lines, someone else who was assaulted, someone else who was in this bar drinking, someone else who was passing by on the street who owns the store next door to the bar that saw this sexually, violently embraced against a wall, drunks one night, would have come out.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I think someone would have remembered something.

Yeah, the...

The rape squad allegation that we talked about quite a bit on my show, Pat Gray Unleashed, which immediately follows this one.

Talked about this yesterday.

It's hard to believe that if that indeed happened, nobody ever talked about it.

We never heard a thing about it.

And this guy just went on with the rest of his life and became a respected judge in D.C.

And nobody said word one until now.

Come on.

Come on.

So,

including the woman who, by the way, kept going to the parties

and

avoided the alcohol

so she wouldn't submit herself to the rape room, I guess.

I don't know.

The rape room was okay as long as it wasn't her.

Exactly.

Exactly.

That's my point.

So you didn't say anything to these girls?

Hey, don't drink the punch because it's been spiked and you're going to wind up in the rape room.

I mean,

is this the line for the bathroom?

No, this is the rape line.

Yeah.

I mean, are you kidding me?

It's amazing.

It's just, it defies all logic and reason.

Sure does.

Now,

last night,

late in the afternoon, President Trump conducted a very long, in fact, I think it just wrapped up about 15 minutes ago.

Press conference.

He just wrapped it up.

He just wrapped it up, and he had a lot to say.

I thought it was fascinating.

He had a lot to say.

He called the Kavanaugh allegations a big fat con job.

Here he is.

Do we have that audio where Trump calls Kavanaugh a big fat conjob, the Kavanaugh allegation?

Well, the FBI told us they've investigated Judge Kavanaugh six times, five times, many times over the years.

They know him very well.

Six times, five times.

But here there was nothing to investigate from

at least one standpoint.

They didn't know the location.

They didn't know the time.

They didn't know the year.

They didn't know anything.

And it's like, where do you go?

Also, it's not for the FBI.

If you look look at what Joe Biden said, he said, they don't do this.

And he said it very clearly.

So I think when you really look at it all, it's not going to change any of the Democrats' minds.

They're obstructionists.

They're actually con artists because they know how quality this man is, and they've destroyed a man's reputation.

And they want to destroy it even more.

And I think people are going to see that in the midterms.

What they've done to this family, what they've done to these children, these beautiful children of his, and what they've done to his wife.

And they know it's a big, fat con job.

And they go into a room, and I guarantee you, they laugh like hell at what they pulled off on you and on the public.

They laugh like hell.

I believe him.

I do too.

That's true.

I think they know it's true, and they're doing it anyway.

Because they hate him.

They hate Trump and they hate Kavanaugh.

And they hate anybody on on the right.

It's hard not to believe that.

Because they prove it every day.

They show us every day.

He also talked about how, yes,

he believes Kavanaugh.

But I don't know.

Who knows what will happen tomorrow.

We'll see what the women have to say.

I know.

Listen to this.

The women could be convincing.

Yeah, they could be.

Here's what he said.

Women know how to lie.

As far as the other women are concerned, I'm going to see what happens tomorrow.

I'm going to be watching.

You know, believe it or not, I'm going to see

what's said.

It's possible that they will be convincing.

Now, with all of that being said,

Judge Brett Kavanaugh has been for many years one of the most respected people in Washington.

He's been on, I guess you'd call it, the second highest court.

And

every single person knows him.

A lot of people know him well.

And those people don't believe what's going on.

You know, I guess you could call it the second highest.

Whatever you are.

Some people have called it that.

I don't know.

He's growing up before everyone.

Hello.

So he absolutely believes that this is a smear job and a big fat con job.

But the women might convince me tomorrow.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Believe me, I'll be watching.

Yeah, I do believe him.

I do believe he can be convinced of, and he kind of said it.

I can be convinced of almost anything.

I think he actually used that phrase during

the course of the press conference.

He had a ton of things to say.

In fact, he had so many things to say.

We just kind of put some of it together for you.

Oh, nice.

So that you could just kind of recap.

China has total respect for Donald Trump and for Donald Trump's very, very large brain.

Why has President Trump given so much to North Korea?

I said, if I wasn't elected, you would have had a war.

President Obama thought you had to go to war.

You know how close he was to pressing the trigger for war?

We're not doing well.

Let me call the Russians to help.

We have pictures of President Trump.

Whoa, where can I get him?

Wow, that's a lot of hands.

He's doing a whole routine here.

Right.

It's crazy.

You're with who?

Thomas Peter from Sky News.

Okay, good.

Sky News.

Thank you, Mr.

President.

Congratulations on the purchase.

She has nothing to nothing to do with me thank you i hope you benefited

yeah you

guy looks guy looks like he's shocked that's not this is gonna be not good it's gonna be good the guy looks totally like stunned that have you have you ever been picked before for a question excuse me you said where from where rudaw media network from kurdistan region north of iraq i'm a kurd good um good

great people thank you sir great people

mr president thank you

are you a kurd mr president good they're great people.

They're great fighters.

I like them a lot.

Let's go.

I like this question.

Mr.

President,

yes, please.

Mr.

Kurds.

New York Times.

Come on.

New York Times.

The failing New York Times.

Stand up.

Go ahead.

I like President Xi a lot.

I think he's a friend of mine.

He may not be a friend of mine anymore, but I think he probably respects, from what I hear.

You were talking about your administration's accomplishments at the United Nations, and a lot of the leaders laughed.

Well, that's fake news.

And what was that experience?

That's fake news.

And it was covered that way.

Okay.

They weren't laughing at me.

They were laughing with me.

We had fun.

When you say, does it affect me in terms of my thinking with respect to Judge Kavanaugh?

Absolutely.

Because I've had it many times.

When I see it, I view it differently than somebody sitting home watching television where they say, oh, Judge Kavanaugh, this or that.

It's happened to me many times.

I've had many false charges.

If we brought George Washington here,

And we said we have George Washington, the Democrats would vote against him, just so you understand.

And he may have had a bad past.

Who knows?

No, he may have had some,

I think, accusations made.

Didn't he have a couple of things in his past?

Always like to finish with a good one.

Elton John said: when you hit that last tune and it's good, don't go back.

I've seen, have you ever seen?

They do great, they're great.

They hit the last tune, everyone goes crazy.

Oh, they go back.

That's amazing.

That's amazing.

That's the tune.

It's so good.

That's amazing.

This is the best of the Glen Beck Beck program.

Let's say you just got a letter from some bank you've never heard of, and they're threatening to foreclose on your home because

you've made zero payments on your $100,000 equity loan.

And you think, well, I didn't take out a $100,000 equity loan.

Right, but the problem is some identity thief did.

That wouldn't be good.

No,

it's not good.

It's happening way too often now.

And you get stuck with the payments.

It's a terrible scenario, but you can stop it by signing up at home titlelock.com.

They will put a barrier around your home's title and your mortgage because this is one of the fastest growing identity crimes in America right now.

You could already be a victim of title fraud.

Get your $100 search for free when you sign up at home titlelock.com.

That's home-titlelock.com.

The Kavanaugh hearing live.

Christine Blasey Ford is in fact there and ready to testify.

She did show up, and Chuck Grassley is speaking now and opening up the hearing.

Let's join that live.

They and their families have received vile threats.

What they have endured ought to be considered by all of us as unacceptable

and a poor reflection on the state of civility in our democracy.

So I want to apologize to you both for the way you've been treated.

And I intend, hopefully, for today's hearing

to be safe, comfortable, and dignified for both of our witnesses.

I hope my colleagues will join me in this effort.

of a show of civility.

With that said, I lament that this hearing,

how this hearing has come about.

On July the 9th,

2018,

the President announced Judge Kavanaugh's nomination to serve on the Supreme Court.

Judge Kavanaugh has served on the most important federal appellate court for 12 years.

Before that,

He held some of the most sensitive positions in the federal government.

The President added Judge Kavanaugh to his short list of Supreme Court more than nine months ago

in November 2017.

As part of Judge Kavanaugh's nomination to the Supreme Court, the FBI conducted its sixth full field background investigation of Judge Kavanaugh since 1993, 25 years ago.

Nowhere in any of these six FBI reports

that committee investigators have reviewed on a bipartisan basis was there a whiff

of any issue, any issue at all related in any way to inappropriate sexual behavior.

Dr.

Ford first raised her allegations in a secret letter

to the ranking member nearly two months ago in July.

This letter was secret from July 30th, September 13th

to, no, July 30th until September 13th when I first heard about it.

The ranking member took no action.

The letter wasn't shared with me, our colleagues, or my staff.

These allegations could have been investigated in a way that maintained the confidentiality that Dr.

Ford

requested.

Before his hearing, Judge Kavanaugh met privately with 65 senators, including the ranking member.

But the ranking member didn't ask Judge Kavanaugh about the allegations when she met with him privately in August.

The Senate Judiciary Committee held its four-day public hearing from September 4th to September 7th.

Judge Kavanaugh testified for more than 32 hours in public.

We held a closed session for members to ask sensitive questions

on the last evening, which the ranking member did not attend.

Judge Kavanaugh answered nearly 1,300 written questions submitted by senators after the hearing, more than all prior Supreme Court nominees.

Throughout this period, We did not know about the ranking member's secret evidence.

Then, only at an 11th hour, on the eve of Judge Kavanaugh's confirmation vote, did the ranking member refer the allegations to the FBI.

And then, sadly, the allegations were leaked to the press.

And that's where Dr.

Ford was mistreated.

This is a shameful way to treat our witness who insisted on confidentiality.

And,

of course,

Judge Kavanaugh, who has had to address these allegations in the midst of a media circus.

When I received Dr.

Ford's letter on September the 13th, my staff and I recognized the seriousness of these allegations and immediately began our committee's investigation consistent with the way the committee has handled such allegations in the past.

Every step of the way, the Democratic side refused to participate in what should have been a bipartisan investigation, as far as I know, on all of our judgeships throughout at least the last four years or three years.

That's been the way it's been handled.

After Dr.

Ford's identity became public, my staff contacted all the individuals she

said attended the 1982 party described in the Washington Post article.

Judge Kavanaugh immediately submitted to an interview under penalty of felony for any knowingly false statements.

He denied the allegations categorically.

Democratic staff was invited to participate and could have asked any questions they wanted to, but they declined, which leads me then to wonder, if they're really concerned with going to the truth, why wouldn't you want to talk to the accused?

The process and procedure is what the committee always does when we receive allegations of wrongdoing.

My staff reached out to other individuals allegedly at the party, Mark Judge, Patrick Smith, Leland Kaiser.

All three submitted statements to the Senate

under penalty of felony, denying any knowledge of the events described by Dr.

Ford.

Dr.

Ford's lifelong friend, Miss Kaiser,

stated she doesn't know Judge Kavanaugh and doesn't recall ever attending a party with him.

My staff made repeated requests to interview Dr.

Ford during the past 11 days, even volunteering to fly to California to take her testimony.

But her attorneys refused to

present her allegations to Congress.

I nevertheless honored her request for a public hearing, so Dr.

Ford today has the opportunity to present her allegations under oath.

As you can see, the Judiciary Committee was able to conduct

thorough investigations into allegations.

Some of my colleagues, consistent with their stated desires to obstruct Kavanaugh's nomination

by any means necessary, pushed for FBI investigations into the allegations.

But I have no authority to force the executive branch agency to conduct an investigation into a matter it considers to be closed.

Moreover, once the allegations

became public, it was easy to identify all the alleged witnesses and conduct our own investigations.

Contrary to what the public has been led to believe, the FBI doesn't perform any credibility assessments or verify the truth of any events in these

background investigations.

I'll quote then Chairman Joe Biden during Justice Thomas's confirmation hearing, this is what Senator Biden said, quote, the next person who refers to an FBI report as being worth anything obviously doesn't understand anything.

The FBI explicitly does not, in this or any other case, reach a conclusion, period.

They say

he said, she said, they said, period.

So when people wave an FBI report before you, understand

they do not.

They do not.

They do not reach conclusions.

They do not make recommendations.

End of Senator Biden's quote.

The FBI provided us with the allegations.

Now it's up to the Senate to assess their credibility, which brings us to this very time.

I look forward to a fair and respectful hearing.

That's what we promised Dr.

Ford.

Some of my colleagues have complained about the fact that an expert on this side is investigating sex crimes will be questioning the witness.

I see no basis for complaint other than just plain politics.

The testimony we will hear today concerns allegations of sexual assault, very serious allegations.

All right, stations, I think we'll take our break right now.

And

while Grassley is babbling endlessly, and hopefully, by the time we get back,

Christine Blaseyford will be testifying.

You're listening to the best of the Glenn Beck program.

Hi, it's Glenn.

If you're a subscriber to the podcast, can you do us a favor and rate us on iTunes?

If you're not a subscriber, become one today and listen on your own time.

You can subscribe on iTunes.

Thanks.

While Brett Kavanaugh and I were in high school, I have described the events publicly before.

I summarized them in my letter to Ranking Member Feinstein and again in a letter to Chairman Grass Lee.

I understand and appreciate the importance of your hearing from me directly about what happened to me and the impact that it has had on my life and on my family.

I grew up in the suburbs of Washington, D.C.

I attended the Holton Arms School in Bethesda, Maryland from 1978 to 1984.

Holton Arms is an all-girls school that opened in 1901.

During my time at the school, Girls at Holton Arms frequently met and became friendly with boys from all boys schools in the area, including the Landon School, Georgetown Prep, Gonzaga High School,

as well as our country clubs and other places where kids and families socialized.

This is how I met Brett Kavanaugh, the boy who sexually assaulted me.

During my freshman and sophomore school years, when I was 14 and 15 years old, My group of friends intersected with Brett and his friends for a short period of time.

I had been friendly with a classmate of Brett's for a short time during my freshman and sophomore year.

And it was through that connection that I attended a number of parties that Brett also attended.

We did not know each other well, but I knew him and he knew me.

In the summer of 1982, like most summers, I spent most every day at the Columbia Country Club in Chevy Chase, Maryland, swimming and practicing diving.

One evening that summer, after a day of diving at the club, I attended a small gathering at a house in the Bethesda area.

There were four boys I remember specifically being at the house.

Brett Kavanaugh, Mark Judge,

a boy named PJ,

and one other boy whose name I cannot recall.

I also remember my friend Leland attending.

I do not remember all of the details of how that gathering came together, but like many that summer, it was almost surely a spur-of-the-moment gathering.

I truly wish I could be more helpful with more detailed answers to all of the questions that have and will be asked about how I got to the party and where it took place and so forth.

I don't have all the answers, and I don't remember as much as I would like to, but the details about that night that bring me here today are the ones I will never forget.

They have been seared into my memory and have haunted me episodically as an adult.

When I got to the small gathering, people were drinking beer in a small living room family room type area on the first floor of the house.

I drank one beer.

Brett and Mark were visibly drunk.

Early in the evening, I went up a very narrow set of stairs leading from the living room to a second floor to use the restroom.

When I got to the top of the stairs, I was pushed from behind into a bedroom across from the bathroom.

I couldn't see who pushed me.

Brett and Mark came into the bedroom and locked the door behind them.

There was music playing in the bedroom.

It was turned up louder by either Brett or Mark once we were in the room.

I was pushed onto the bed and Brett got on top of me.

He began running his hands over my body and grinding into me.

I yelled, hoping that someone downstairs might hear me, and I tried to get away from him, but his weight was heavy.

Brett groped me and tried to take off my clothes.

He had a hard time because he was very inebriated and because I was wearing a one-piece bathing suit underneath my clothing.

I believed he was going to rape me.

I tried tried to yell for help.

When I did, Brett put his hand over my mouth to stop me from yelling.

This is what terrified me the most, and has had the most lasting impact on my life.

It was hard for me to breathe, and I thought that Brett was accidentally going to kill me.

Both Brett and Mark were drunkenly laughing during the attack.

They seemed to be having a very good time.

Mark seemed ambivalent, at times urging Brett on and at times telling him to stop.

A couple of times I made eye contact with Mark and thought he might try to help me, but he did not.

During this assault, Mark came over and jumped on the bed twice while Brett was on top of me.

And the last time that he did this, we toppled over and Brett was no longer on top of me.

I was able to get up and run out of the room.

Directly across from the bedroom was a small bathroom.

I ran inside the bathroom and locked the door.

I waited until I heard Brett and Mark leave the bedroom, laughing, and loudly walked down the narrow stairway, pinballing off the walls on the way down.

I waited.

And when I did not hear them come back up the stairs, I left the bathroom, went down the same stairwell, through the living room, and left the house.

I remember being on the street and feeling an enormous sense of relief that I had escaped that house and that Brett and Mark were not coming outside after me.

Brett's assault on me drastically altered my life.

For a very long time, I was too afraid and ashamed to tell anyone these details.

I did not want to tell my parents that I, at age 15, was in a house without any parents present drinking beer with boys.

I convinced myself that because Brett did not rape me, I should just move on and just pretend that it didn't happen.

Over the years, I told very, very few friends that I had this traumatic experience.

I told my husband before we were married that I had experienced a sexual assault.

I had never told the details to anyone, the specific details, until May 2012 during a couple's counseling session.

The reason this came up in counseling is that my husband and I had completed a very extensive,

very long remodel of our home, and I insisted on a second front door, an idea that he and others disagreed with and could not understand.

In explaining why I wanted a second front door, I began to describe the assault in detail.

I recall saying that the boy who assaulted me could someday be on the U.S.

Supreme Court and spoke a bit about his background at an elitist all-boys school in Bethesda, Maryland.

My husband recalls that I named my attacker as Brett Kavanaugh.

After that May 2012 therapy session, I did my best to ignore the memories of the assault because recounting them caused me to relive the experience and cause panic and anxiety.

Occasionally, I would discuss the assault in an individual therapy session, but talking about it caused more reliving of the trauma, so I tried not to think about it or discuss it.

But over the years, I went through periods where I thought about the attack.

I had confided in some close friends that I had had an experience with sexual assault.

Occasionally, I stated that my assailant was a prominent lawyer or judge, but I did not use his name.

I do not recall each person I spoke to about Brett's assault, and some friends have reminded me of these conversations since the publication of the Washington Post story on September 16, 2018.

This is the Glenn Beck program.

But until July,

I had never used

Mr.

Kavanaugh.

This changed in early July 2018.

I saw press reports stating that Brett Kavanaugh was on the short list of a list of very well-qualified Supreme Court nominees.

I thought it was my civic duty to relay the information I had about Mr.

Kavanaugh's conduct so that those considering his nomination would know about this assault.

On July 6th, I had a sense of urgency to relay the information to the Senate and the President as soon as possible before a nominee was selected.

I did not know how specifically to do this.

I called my congressional representative and let her receptionist know that someone on the president's shortlist had attacked me.

I also sent a message to the encrypted Washington Post confidential tip line.

I did not use my name, but I provided the names of Brett Kavanaugh and Mark Judge.

I stated that Mr.

Kavanaugh had assaulted me in the 1980s in Maryland.

This was an extremely hard thing for me to do,

but I felt that I couldn't not do it.

Over the next two days, I told a couple of close friends on the beach in Aptos, California, that Mr.

Kavanaugh had sexually assaulted me.

I was very conflicted as to whether to speak out.

On July 9th, I received a return phone call from the Office of Congresswoman Anna Eshu

after Mr.

Kavanaugh had become the nominee.

I met with her staff on July 18th and with her on July 20th describing the assault and discussing my fears about coming forward.

Later, we discussed the possibility of sending a letter to Ranking Member Feinstein, who is one of my state senators, describing what occurred.

My understanding is that Representative Eshu's office delivered a copy of my letter to Senator Feinstein's office on July 30th.

The letter included my name, but also a request that it be kept confidential.

My hope was that providing the information confidentially would be sufficient to allow the Senate to consider Mr.

Kavanaugh's serious misconduct without having to make myself, my family, or anyone's family vulnerable to the personal attacks and invasions of privacy that we have faced since my name became public.

In a letter dated August 31st, Senator Feinstein wrote that she would not share the letter without my explicit consent, and I appreciated this commitment.

Sexual assault victims should be able to decide for themselves when and whether their private experience is made public.

As the hearing date got closer, I struggled with a terrible choice.

Do I share the facts with the Senate and put myself and my family in the public spotlight?

Or do I preserve our privacy and allow the Senate to make its decision without knowing the full truth of his past behaviors?

I agonized daily with this decision throughout August and September of 2018.

The sense of duty that originally

motivated me to reach out confidentially to the Washington Post and to Anna Eshu's office when there was still a list of extremely qualified candidates and to Senator Feinstein

was always there, but my fears of the consequences of speaking out started to exponentially increase.

During August 2018, the press reported that Mr.

Kavanaugh's confirmation was virtually certain.

Persons painted him as a champion of women's rights and empowerment.

And I believed that if I came forward, my single voice would be drowned out by a chorus of powerful supporters.

By the time of the confirmation hearings, I had resigned myself to remaining quiet.

and letting the committee and the Senate make their decision without knowing what Mr.

Kavanaugh had done to me.

Once the press started reporting on the existence of the letter I had sent to Senator Feinstein, I faced mounting pressure.

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