A World without Humor = Dangerous? - 5/11/18

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Glenn back.

Imagine being crumpled up inside of a womb for months on end.

Then suddenly, being yanked out into a bright, cold room full of strange beasts.

Eventually, you get used to life a little more each day.

I mean, it's different.

It's not as cozy.

You're not floating around in water.

What's up with that?

But you work with it.

The

two fleshy animals that carry you around, I guess they're pretty cool.

One of them feeds you all the time.

It's got a feedback strapped to the chest.

It's great.

The other one,

well, I don't know what the other one does, but it's a pretty good life.

But one thing just isn't sitting right.

And

damn it, when I am able to form words, I am going to report these monsters.

It's

it's all about these things they call

diapers, I guess.

Yeah, they're awful.

I mean, I used to be able to poop, you know, right in the water.

Of course, I had to swim around in it, I think.

I don't really know how that worked.

But you want to know what's worse than stewing in your own waste?

Parental non-consent and oppressive gender roles that allow for the microaggression against an unwilling and helpless victim, in this case, me, the baby.

I mean,

when will the patriarchy stop?

You promise, yourself, one day I am going to grow up into a fully formed one of those things,

and then I'm going to pick my gender and my race and my general species.

I might be one of those four-legged things that keeps licking my face.

That'd That'd be kind of cool.

Maybe that's what I am.

Oh, so many decisions.

Anyway, once I decide all of those things, I am going to make it illegal to assault whatever it is I am right now with this non-consensual diaper changing.

Well, fear not, baby, because Deanne Carson, an Australian sexuality educator, speaker, and author, wow, she writes books, too,

has heard your panicked mumbles and she is here fighting for you.

And listen to all of the empowering things she has said during an interview on Australia's BBC News, ABC News Network.

How young are some of the children you talk to?

We work from children from three years old.

We work with parents from birth.

From birth.

Yeah, yeah.

Just about how to set up a culture of consent in their homes.

So I'm going to change your nappy now.

Is that okay?

Of course the baby's not going to respond.

Yes, mum, that's awesome.

I'd love to have my nappy changed.

But if you leave a space and wait for body language and wait to make eye contact, then you're letting that child know that their response matters.

All right, as a baby, I'm not really...

We were talking about diapers.

What the hell is this nappy thing?

Although she sounds really cool, I love the way she talks.

But yet, somehow or another, even though her accent makes her seem like somebody who gets it, I think they call them words, and those words that are coming out of her mouth makes her seem even to me as a baby, like she's a moron.

In ten years,

the newborn baby's first meaningful sight will not be their mother.

Thank God.

It will be a stack of papers.

Consent forms.

Consent for everything that follows.

Sign here to exist.

Wait a minute.

Hang on just a second.

Something tells me progressives won't like that one.

You know.

Because of something they call abortion?

It's Friday, May 11th.

This is the Glenn Beck program.

Laugh it up all you want.

That's a serious issue.

I know it is.

Diaper consent is something.

I know it is.

And really, consent is just the key that unlocks rape culture, which is a whole nother situation we should talk about.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

The patriarchy.

The patriarchy.

No, that's it.

That's

the whole.

That's the whole thing.

That's a terrifying joke.

It is a terrifying joke.

It's a terrifying joke.

Holy cow.

Now we have to ask our babies for consent to change their nappy.

I mean, that's something that usually people would want to consent to.

It's not a pleasant experience, I would imagine.

I don't know.

It's awfully warm.

It's cold when you.

I'm just saying.

Problem is, it's multiple years until they can get to the point of consenting.

The problem is

it's a baby.

It's a baby.

You know,

it's like,

should I ask my dog if I want to remove the poop from the yard, if they're okay, if they're fun, if they're finished pooping and eating it at the same time, I'm not sure you finished eating this.

Can I remove this poop from the yard?

I don't ask my dog things.

And also, by the way, they would almost definitely say no.

They don't consent to it.

Oh, what a surprise.

So they don't get to to make that choice.

We humans are dictators when it comes to babies and dogs.

Don't listen to these people.

Whatever you do, don't listen to these people.

It is insane.

We have, as a society, lost.

Is this not?

Is this not the what's that poem

from Rudyard Kipling?

Oh,

the

gods of the copybook headings.

Yes.

I mean, we are there.

there.

We're there.

The gods of the copybook headings where it's like, huh, you know,

two and two plus two and two equals five.

No, no, no, no, it doesn't.

No, it doesn't.

Hey, give me all your guns because you're really going to be safe.

No, uh-uh.

Nope.

Perhaps we could come up with some arrangement that we will ask for consent if they'll just shut up.

You get what I mean?

Like, if they will be happy to get your verbal response to all of the things that you like, diaper changing and whatever else you want consent for.

But first of all,

stop being loud when I want to sleep.

Second of all,

when the diaper is being...

I didn't know what he was doing.

I had no idea what that furry animal was doing.

The other one has got the feedback.

The other one is just always saying, shut up, I want to sleep.

What his voice is.

It's like a smurf on the side.

I'm not not sure either.

But I haven't been working on my baby talk lately.

I will say, and we can criticize this particular guest

for saying that you need to get consent from babies to have their diaper changed.

Though, if we want to be honest about it, there's the phenomenon of the PPTP.

The PPTP.

Now, the PPTP is advice that you have to place over the male baby when changing the diaper.

Oh, no, there's no question on that one.

Because he pees in your face.

He may pee in your face.

No, if there may, he does, always.

Always.

If there has ever been a more clear

expression

of I do not consent to what's happening,

can you think of one?

more direct than peeing in the face.

Let me tell you something.

You know why he's peeing in your face?

Because you are changing his diaper without without permission.

I'll tell you that right now.

I think she's proved her right.

By the way, I have an update on the cat that walked 12 miles to get home.

Remember the story yesterday?

It's a terrible story.

No, this is a great story.

It was

a little orange and white cat rejected by his family.

It happened in Wake County.

And

the cat's name is Toby.

And they decided that they no longer longer wanted little Toby.

So they found another family.

But Toby loved this family

and

missed him.

And so walked 12 miles back to the family home.

And

they open up their door one day, and there is Toby, meow, meow, sitting on the porch.

And this is when you told me this story the first time.

This is the point that I thought, this is a great story.

This is a great story.

It's a great story.

Walks 12 miles, finds the family that Toby, the little orange and white cat, loves.

And so the family took him to a shelter to be euthanized.

Who is this?

Is this the Dahmer family?

I don't know.

I don't know.

What family looks at the cute little cat like the damn cat is back.

Let's kill it.

I mean, man, it's really.

I would definitely be suspicious of the idea that the new family brought the cat back in a car and dropped it in the front yard.

Apparently, the other family said it didn't do that.

Of course, that's what you say.

Okay, I mean that.

I am not a cat lover, so I could see that.

Drop that damn cat on their doorstep.

I could see that.

Okay.

However,

they claim that they didn't do that, that it found its way back and was lost from the other family.

I don't know how long it took, but it came back and it was sitting on the front porch.

And so the family took him to the shelter to be euthanized.

This is a terrible ending to that.

There's an update.

There's an update.

Did it walk back from the other side?

That's insane.

No, no, no.

The shelter said yes to, okay, all right, we'll do that.

Okay, monsters.

And they left, and the shelter

found a new

home.

And on Monday,

the cat now lives

with a sibling and two children.

I don't know.

I don't know how it happened.

What do you mean with a sibling?

So a cat sibling or a sibling?

Yes, with a cat sibling and two children.

So I don't know if the cat moved in with his sister and they've adopted two children.

I don't know if he went back to the original family and only the sister hasn't hasn't been euthanized.

Is there a household run by human children that have adopted two cats?

I don't know.

I don't know.

This is the second day on this story and it is still incomplete.

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Why did the chicken cross the ropes, Stu?

Why?

To fight the patriarchy, okay?

Come into today's world.

Right, but didn't like, I guess, Israel and Iran aren't they almost at one point.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Whatever.

North Korea.

Whatever.

Whatever.

Listen to this story.

Legoland has responded to the accusations of improperly depicting Megan Markle's skin color in a new exhibit just ahead of Harry and Megan's royal wedding.

What?

The exhibit on display at the Legoland Windsor Resort in Berkshire, England depicts the couple's upcoming nuptials using nothing but Legos.

It features two tiny Lego likenesses of Harry and Megan, along with several members of the royal family and large groups of spectators outside of an all-Lego Windsor castle.

Seems pointless, but nice.

However, the bricks used to depict Megan's skin color are identical to Harry's Lego likeness,

despite the two having very

complexions in real life.

The press has reached out to Legoland for an explanation.

No, they have not.

They did not bug Legoland.

Legoland.

Let me be clear.

Legoland has a lot more important things to do.

That is a statement I meant to make.

Legoland responded.

Maybe I was wrong.

Our Legoland figures are not.

This is our.

This is.

I just want to read this to you.

This is where we're at.

Now, think of this.

Think of this.

Our Legoland figures are not detailed representations of any of the characters and are all built using a limited range of primary brick tones.

We're in a place where Legos have to be explained.

It's like you're talking to a six-year-old, except they're issuing this to the press.

And you know what?

No six-year-old would ever have a problem with this.

No, no.

Including one that was African-American,

or that was mixed race, or that was white.

No one would care.

No one.

Only a dumb adult would care about such a thing.

TMZ

noted the likeness of Megan's mother, Dora Ragland,

as well as Mel B of the Spice Girls, who's rumored to be attending the royal wedding.

They appeared to be crafted with darker shades of Legos.

Well, that would be the.

If you're not a fan of the hit TV show Suits, which of course I am, Megan Markle is where she is, and you might not know her necessarily, but she does not, she's not,

you would say she, I don't know, she's, I don't know how to say anything.

Oh, you don't, so don't say anything.

Just got to take a look at the music.

Go ahead, Regina, realize.

Go ahead, Arabic.

You're going to take on this woman and her skin color?

Go ahead.

I'll wait.

Here we go.

Okay.

Her skin color

is not the same as Harry,

as they point out in the article.

However, it is also not the same as fill in

the family.

No, go ahead.

We'll wait.

Our wonderful former president, Barack Obama.

They don't have the exact same skin tone.

I would say her skin tone would be a uniting factor of both our wonderful president and Prince Harry.

So what you're saying is she's not Prince Harry and she's not Barack Obama.

You're pointing out her otherness.

Well, that's

the point of the article.

Holy God.

What I'm saying is they might not have the exact color.

They probably had to make a choice between

Prince Harry and Barack Obama.

Our wonderful president, by the way, Barack Obama.

Making sure that everyone knows you can't criticize me because I praised Barack Obama.

There's a point in between, which perhaps Megan, who's beautiful, by the way, and I actually think this is as bad as the things the king did back in the 1700s to rip her away from suits, but that's a whole other monologue.

But I mean, she's very beautiful.

So I remember when I was about 10 years old and growing up at the Pacific Northwest and seeing things on the news, you know, from the rest of of the country, I think.

I mean, we never had busing problems or anything else that I was aware of.

And I remember saying, probably 10, and I was dead serious,

Dad,

why doesn't everybody just

have, I don't think I use the word have sex.

I don't know how I said it, but basically, why doesn't everybody just have sex with everybody?

And that way, we'll all just start coming out eventually into one color.

And I don't remember what my dad said.

I just remember my dad's look at me.

Like,

I have no idea how to answer that.

What the hell do I say now?

You know what's interesting?

His answer may have been, ask your mother.

Now, that's probably a good answer.

Yes.

A good dad would say that.

But you, you know, that was, I've heard that before too, right?

Like that became sort of a thing where it was like, you know, I guess in the flower, if we put flowers in guns and we all mate and we all become the same color someday, everything will be solved.

That doesn't solve racism at all.

That's a typical left-wing answer to it.

You will find a problem with the shades, like Legoland.

Yep.

You will find a shade.

She's darker than that.

And if the race thing comes out, you'll find something else.

People are tribal.

Eye color.

That's what they do.

Yep.

You know, it's the star-bellied sneeches, of course, a wonderful

long-form non-fiction book that you might remember from Dr.

Seuss,

outlines this pretty well.

You'll always find your differences, and then you'll always chase the other thing.

Can I tell you something?

You know what I learned about, don't ask why I was reading up on the history of sugar, but

I know.

Do you know when sugar was first exported to

the colonies, to England, that it was a sign of wealth.

Only the wealthy could have sugar.

And so the wealthy wanted people to know that they had sugar.

And so

the black tooth

rot in people's mouths that happened because of became a status symbol.

Right.

So much so that the people at the bottom of the scale started to dirty their teeth

so they could look fashionable.

How did this species last so long?

Stop it.

Stop it.

Stop it.

Stop it.

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effingham illinois

it's a county in illinois that has decided to become a sanctuary county

now not the way you normally think of a sanctuary county this one is saying that the new uh resolution in the in the state house of illinois is

unconstitutional.

It's HB 1467.

And basically what it says is that you have to turn in your guns, your bumps, your bump stocks, anything that the state says is no longer acceptable, you have to turn it in.

And if not, you're a felon.

Well,

what part of shall not be infringed, don't you understand?

So Effingham has come up with a resolution and they passed it eight to one.

The county board passed a resolution in response to the anti-gun bills, and it says that the state infringes on Second Amendment rights and the county will become a sanctuary for owners of firearms that have been unconstitutionally prohibited.

Board member David Campbell is with us to talk about this because now this is starting to spread all over Illinois and indeed the country.

And we welcome David to the program.

Hi, David.

How are you?

Good morning, Glenn.

Thanks for having me on the show.

You bet.

So I love the response from especially the people from

Chicago that say, how dare you?

You can't just make your city a sanctuary because you don't agree with the laws.

Yes, one of those happens to be a representative up there,

Kathleen Willis.

She sponsored Senate Bill 31, and that was basically to say the state could ignore the federal immigration laws.

She puts out a statement once we pass our resolution.

She puts out a statement saying, I don't think you can say I don't agree with the law, just so

I won't enforce it.

And that sends the wrong message, she says.

So what the heck?

Right.

You know, what's she doing?

Okay, so David, is this a point on sanctuary cities or are you serious about this?

No, we're extremely serious about this.

And basically, we were just tired of seeing all these House and Senate bills coming down.

and that's what made me want to do something

to address it.

So I thought a resolution would be the best way to do that.

So tell me about the House bill

that came down, that forced you into this action.

And

how are they planning on this working?

That you have to go, is the government going to go door to door and

check to see if you have any guns?

Are they going to pay you for the guns?

What exactly is the bill?

And that's why we wanted to address this, because the bills are not clear.

There are several bills out there.

There's even been more since our resolution, but we addressed House Bill 1465, 1467, 68, 69, and Senate Bill 1657 in our resolution.

The biggest points in there that we were very upset with were

you can send you know, our our boys can go off and fight at 18 in a war.

We send them off.

They come back back and this House Bill 1465 says that

anybody under 21 has to surrender their lawful owned firearms or becomes an immediate felon.

So they can go off and fight in a war, come back, get their gun out and immediately be a felon for going out and wanting to shoot in sport, hunt, whatever, protection.

No, that's not right.

And that's what really caught our attention in one of those.

And then you addressed the 1465 with the bump stocks and trigger cranks, things like that where does that stop I mean they even you know they're wanting to take away armor and a lot of these security guys use armor to protect themselves when they're when you know when they're on the job and and no we don't want that taken away either I mean we have to take a stand on these on these rights are starting to erode not only the Second Amendment rights but all our constitutional rights and that's what made me want to do this resolution why we wrote it because you say it's not only a

violation of the second amendment but it's also a violation of the Fourth Amendment.

Correct.

For those who don't may not remember the Fourth Amendment, that's the one after the

one where they can't quarter soldiers.

Explain the violation of the Fourth Amendment.

Well, the fourth one is basically addressed in the House Bill 1465, and it requires persons to immediately relinquish and lawfully own magazines and things like that, the higher capacity magazines.

They become instant felons,

you know, if they don't do that.

The way this bill is written,

it just does not make any sense whatsoever.

Now, have people,

I've read that people from even Washington state have called and said, can I get a copy of this bill?

I am so proud of our counties and states.

Glenn, I could just scream.

I mean, we've had,

actually, at this point, we've had over 70 counties ask for a copy of this resolution.

To date, we've had 11 of them pass it.

And this has only been in the last 30 days.

I mean, this has really only been going for about 30 days.

And then I've had 10 states also ask for this now.

So

what's that tell you?

I mean, people are tired of this.

And everybody's willing to take a stand.

This is a grassroots effort.

Everybody is just

on board with this, ready to go.

And I haven't seen anything like this.

I'm proud of all these people.

So, David,

what's your take on sanctuary cities as applied to immigration?

We are totally against the

illegal immigration status that our state allowed for these folks to come in.

We don't want that.

And I know there's several other states that are fighting that right now, too.

Let them come in properly, like you know, like everybody else, but just to grant illegal immigrants to come in and

take over your state,

we are not in favor of that.

But specifically,

the sanctuary cities.

How do you say this sanctuary city is wrong, but what we're doing is right?

What's the difference?

Well, the difference is we're following the Constitution.

I mean,

the right to bear and defend yourself, bear arms and defend yourself.

That is part of the Constitution.

Show me in the Constitution where it's okay to allow illegal immigrants to come in.

Because I agree with you, of course, on this concept, and I love the point you're making, which

is a really valid one.

Do you worry at all, though, that

in a way you're codifying the concept, right?

The left will have their own ridiculous arguments as to why illegal immigration is an exception as well.

And we get to this point where every county is making exceptions to laws, and

we might wind up with big problems.

That's why I'm liking what I'm seeing with this resolution.

A lot of counties are coming together.

It's almost like they're starting to form an alliance.

I know there's a lot of state attorneys that are talking together now

from other counties, and I think you're going to see

some good alliances formed out of this that are going to start putting their foot down on some of these ridiculous laws that are coming through.

David,

have you played it out in your head?

I mean, we're getting to a place to where we're not listening to each other.

We are not cooperating with each other.

And the left is very serious about

their gun confiscation.

And I don't see

320 million guns.

I don't see

very many million of those as a percentage being turned in to

a government.

Have you thought this through on what this means?

And are you really going to take in people and shelter them

should this be enforced, if this passed?

This is a, you know, right now it's a symbolic measure, and it's going to be up to each individual state's attorney from each county as to how they want to handle it, and the Sheriff's Department, how they want to handle it.

I know our state's attorney helped me write this resolution.

He's actually the one that put the part in with the sanctuary

clause in it.

So I know that I'm going to have his backing on this.

And

like I say, it's a grassroots effort right now, and I think it's going to grow into

each individual county making that choice.

But as these alliances get bigger and bigger,

I think everybody's going to agree to stick with the premise of not allowing illegal immigrants into their counties and to uphold the Constitution of the United States, especially the Second Amendment part,

allowing us to keep and bear arms.

I don't see our local law enforcement

going after anybody's guns here locally.

I can tell you that.

I will tell you that the NRA just had their big convention here last week in Dallas.

And I spoke to somebody.

You know, the NRA is

filing lawsuits on behalf of citizens in Illinois that are living in some of these towns.

And

they're afraid.

They're having a hard time finding people that will sign up to be Jane Doe because they're afraid of the reprisals and what it means to their family and the danger that it puts them in in some of these cities.

I mean, we are really, we're quickly approaching a really frightening place to where if people with courage don't stand up and fight this,

we're going to lose it.

I agree.

And that's why we wanted to take a stand.

I don't want my kids kids to have to fight this.

I want to get this straightened out before

they have to take this over and becomes their problem.

And right now, what I'm seeing is there are so many people tired of

the way the legislators are treating the Second Amendment and the Constitution.

I see a lot of pushback.

I think a lot of people are going to start standing up.

I know Effingham County has.

Like I'd say, 11 other counties around us have.

And there's

several states have also contacted us.

I think now's the time, Glenn.

I think they're ready to stand and take this fight on, head-on.

David, if somebody wants to reach out to you or get a copy of this or get advice,

how would they contact you?

Yeah, they can get, actually, they can,

you know, our board office here in Effingham, they can get a hold of them.

I can give you an email.

I'll even give you my cell phone number.

I'm that adamant that I want people to have access to this.

I would rather not give out your cell phone number just because of the crackpots that might call you, but

let's give the email address.

Okay.

You ready for it?

Yep.

It's at work, and that is A-B-W-O-R-A-S-E-U-D

at gmail.com.

Thank you, sir.

Appreciate it.

God bless.

Thank you.

Thank you, Glenn.

Appreciate you sticking in the fight with us.

You bet.

Make sure to throw in a couple underscores underscores in that address somewhere.

It's always good to throw in a couple underscores.

It's always advisable.

It's interesting.

It's an interesting debate because I love the point.

Obviously, I completely agree that it's constitutional.

You cannot infringe these rights.

There's an interesting split, I think, in the conservative movement right now, which is if someone else does something wrong, right?

Do you...

codify that by taking what they did wrong and applying it to an issue that you like.

yeah right no i am against that however i think this is right you know we should get mike lee on this no no no i think this is i think this is legally correct yes i i'd like to talk to somebody who's you know let's get mike lee on because

the

illinois is

uh violating the constitution several points in the constitution

and it requires people to stand up and say nope we are not abiding by that that is against the Constitution.

It's not that there's a law I don't like.

This is clearly spelled out in the Constitution.

And maybe we'll pursue this a little bit next week.

Let's see if we get Mike on.

Can we?

All right.

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You

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There's no way.

I don't even understand.

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Nothing.

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Let's see.

Boy,

we've had a full day already.

Oh, and Bill O'Reilly is coming up next.

The Bill O'Reilly?

The Bill O'Reilly.

Very exciting.

Oh, my gosh.

Very exciting.

I noticed, have you noticed the last couple of days,

was it Tom Brokaw that got accused of some bad things at work?

Was it Brokaw?

I did.

It was Brokaw.

And,

you know, I love the fact that everybody is rallying around Tom Brokaw.

Yeah, well, see, the thing is, they know him, though.

See, that's the difference.

See, you know, but he's been accused.

It's okay for you to know.

No, but he's been accused by whole bunches of people.

Yeah, I know.

And their defense is, you know, we've actually spent a lot of time with the guy.

No, no, no.

They haven't said those things out loud, have they?

Oh, yeah, they actually signed a letter.

60 people, I think.

Wait a minute.

What?

Hold it just a second.

At NBC, we're like, hey, you know what?

We actually spent a lot of time with him.

We don't see it.

We never saw anything like this.

Yeah.

Did you see, you know, because that's what I did with Bill O'Reilly.

Oh, I remember that.

That's right.

That's right.

And they didn't.

Huh, wait a minute.

They didn't take that as a good thing.

I mean, look, you don't know, right?

Like, you're not in every situation.

The people that signed that letter were not in every situation that Tom Brokaw was in.

There's no way you could completely rule out that something terrible happened.

However, you apply the knowledge of the person that you know really well, and that gives you more information than some dolt on the street who's just judging from afar.

Correct.

And that's not a bad thing.

Here's the thing.

I'm not judging Tom Brokaw.

I don't know him.

It looks bad, but all of the people around him are saying, no, no, no, no, that you don't know Tom.

I know Tom.

Okay.

Well, why is Tom Brokaw more believable to you than

my personal experience with Bill O'Reilly?

Right.

That's ridiculous.

And this is why you have a justice system.

So when bad things happen, they get reported

and you try to figure it out with an actual process at the time.

That's what it's supposed to happen.

That's the only way you can figure these things out.

Back in a minute with Bill O'Reilly,

Glenn, back.

Okay, okay.

I got some new, I got some new jokes that work on campus.

Ready?

Knock, knock.

Uh,

who's there?

The patriarchy.

Oh, man.

Oh, I love that.

Okay, why did the chicken cross the road?

I don't know.

To fight the patriarchy.

All right.

Okay.

You ready for this one?

What do you get when you make a stupid, harmless joke to a professor of gender studies in an elevator?

The patriarchy?

Ostracized.

He is ostracized.

Last month in San Francisco at the annual conference for the International Studies Association, Richard Labau,

political science professor at King's College in London, made a joke in a crowded elevator.

Oh my gosh.

Simona Shironi, professor of gender studies at Merrimack College in North Andover, Massachusetts.

My gosh, just listen to that.

Professor of Gendered Studies at Merrimack College in North Andover, Massachusetts.

Could it get more snotty than that?

Anyway,

she had elected herself button push, triggered, okay, and asked what floor everybody needed.

And so

the voice of the 76-year-old New York-born Richard LeBow said, ladies lingerie.

Oh my gosh, it was...

Now, a couple of people laughed.

Maybe people rolled their eyes.

But one.

One did not get off that elevator and get on with their life.

They couldn't.

They couldn't.

The The brief exchange has ignited an academic version of a forest fire.

The same time, the sheer hysteria involved has turned the incident into a modern

knock-knock joke where a campus feminist professor finds a way to make every interaction about gender.

This woman needs to get a life.

Ruth Marcus

wrote about the incident last week in the Washington Post.

She said it was a lame,

out-moded joke, The sort of thing that you say in a crowded elevator to alleviate the discomfort of being jammed along with strangers,

you know, in an uncomfortable room where nobody is saying anything.

It's an artifact of the days of fancy department stores with operators announcing the floor stops.

Hello.

The days of women feeling compelled to stay silent in the face of sexist remarks or conduct are thankfully on the way out.

But hear something, say something, but by all means.

Not every stray statement by a 76-year-old man warrants a resort to disciplinary procedures.

For goodness sake, let's maintain some sense of proportion and civility as we figure out how to pick our way through the minefield of modern gender relations.

End quote.

If explaining a joke is a quick way to ruin a joke, then explaining a bad joke is even worse.

But even worse than that is becoming outraged by a bad joke and then turning it into a cause for activism.

Can this country come back to common sense?

Comedy sometimes pisses people off.

Yes,

sometimes it's offensive by nature.

Its offensiveness, now hear me out,

is oftentimes a mechanism for exposing an ugly truth.

In other words, now this is going to come as a surprise.

In other words, people say things that they don't actually believe in order to make a point or just to get a laugh.

We used to call this a sense of humor.

I know, it's criminal now.

It's crucial to our humanity, as crucial as the sense of smell, the sense of taste, the sense of touch and sight.

It's a sense of humor.

And without that sense, sense the world becomes very, very bleak and full of dangerous words and violent assumptions and there is no safe place.

A sense of humor reminds you

that while powerful and

infinite,

those words do not contain actual violence.

And when peppered with a bit of comedy or sarcasm, they can actually make you feel pretty good about things.

It's Friday, May 11th.

This is the Glenn Beck program.

Warning, we are not entering a safe zone.

We are entering the zone where Bill O'Reilly is, and he just might say

anything.

Is there spin in the zone?

There's no spin in this zone.

Oh, my gosh.

Hello, Bill O'Reilly.

How are you, sir?

Why does he want to go to the ladies' lingerie floor?

Yeah, exactly, Bill.

Exactly.

Oh, man, you got it.

I mean, you nailed that one.

Hey, Bill, I've got something.

I've got something.

I've got something for you that I think may make your head explode even more than that.

Uh-oh.

Okay, when I came out and said, look, Bill O'Reilly is my friend, and I can only base,

you know, my judgment of Bill O'Reilly on what I know as a guy and what I know as a friend of his and somebody who has seen him in many places.

And that was absolutely unacceptable.

Unacceptable.

Oh my gosh, Glenn Beck is with that pariah, Bill O'Reilly.

Okay.

Nobody would accept that.

I want to play something from George Stephanopoulos talking to an accuser

of Tom Brokaw.

Listen to what he said to her.

Tom Brokaw's pretty angry.

He says he was ambushed, says he was perp walked.

What's your response?

In that letter, he describes you as a colleague who has trouble with the truth.

Are you absolutely convinced that everything you remember about that incident, those incidents with Tom Broker, what happened?

As you know, a lot of women at NBC News have come forward, some 60 women, some of the highest profile women at the network, have come forward in support of Tom Brokaw, support of his reputation as a colleague of integrity and decency.

How do all of us who've, I've known Tom Broko for years, watched him for years before that, admired his career, clearly has a loving family, friends.

How do we put all that in context?

How do you put it all in context?

This is an important point in the MeToo movement for that very reason, because some people might be tempted to believe that all harassers look and act like Harvey Weinstein.

It's not true.

So they're surrounding Tom Brokaw with love and accolades, and they're all doing it because they say, I know him.

I know him.

What is the difference between you and Tom Brokaw?

Is there?

Well, the big difference between me and Brokaw, but,

you know, the establishment tends to

protect itself.

And as I said many times, not a man in the country that's safe from accusations at this point in history.

There's not one in this whole country that's safe.

And I think Stephanopoulos, he did his job, by the way.

That's what Stephanopoulos should do, and all the interviewers should do, is ask the toughest questions they can ask to anybody who hoists an allegation.

But in the general sense, Fox News is something to be destroyed.

And

I mean, it's obvious that

left-leaning establishment press, the New York Times, Washington Post, all the networks want to destroy Fox News.

The quickest way to do that was to get rid of me.

And you were before me.

So let's destroy Fox News.

So that's really the difference here in tone.

So, Bill, isn't the way they're handling the Tom Brokaw thing the way it should be handled?

Look, we don't know.

We weren't in the room.

I mean, with you, I've said to you, and I've said to the audience, I wasn't in the room.

I don't know all of the details, but I have.

I don't have any details on me.

I mean, look, there were very specific allegations made against Brokaw by Linda Vester, who I know.

You know, okay,

you're right.

Nobody knows.

So let the process play out.

NBC hasn't done anything to Tom Brokaw.

It's NBC's prerogative.

You've got to let it play out.

But, you know, when you look at these things, they have to be taken on every

basis.

Every single thing has to be taken on an individual level.

It's like a crime.

Not all shoplifting is the same.

Not all robberies are the same.

So, you know,

we're living in a very dangerous time, and this ties into your monologue on the

nutty professor who made the comment in the elevator.

If you

do anything or say anything that's deemed to be, quote-unquote, offensive,

then you can have your life ruined.

That's where we are in the Stalinist

portion of America, which is growing.

It's growing.

Due process, forget it.

We don't care about due process.

We're going to try to destroy people.

And now they have a mechanism in which to do that.

Aaron Powell, okay, let me switch subjects.

Let me go to Donald Trump this week saying in a tweet that maybe we should

choose the journalists that interview at the White House, that ask questions in the White House, because too many of them are saying negative things, and he deemed that fake news.

The press should be adversarial to people in power, reasonably adversarial,

not just angry and trying to do anything they can to destroy, but they should never take them at their word and they should do their job and make sure that they are not

brought into a circle.

Well,

gosh,

that's exactly what we had under Barack Obama.

We had everybody in there was favorable to Barack Obama, and they didn't have a problem with that.

Now everybody is not favorable to Donald Trump, with a few exceptions.

And,

you know, I fought against the Obama administration for what they were doing to journalists, in particular to Fox News and James Rosen.

And

I have to stand up against this president if he would say that we need, you know,

we're going to pick and choose who's a journalist in the White House.

That's not right.

Well, it's not going to happen.

First of all, it's the usual bomb bass from Donald Trump.

He's not going to do anything because it would make a martyr out of Jim Acosta or the other people, April Ryan, who don't like him.

But I think that if I were President Beck, and we could all have a very good time if that were true,

I would absolutely call out people, journalists, who are being dishonest.

Not unfair.

Not unfair.

Dishonest.

It's like in any other profession.

If you're dishonest, then you can lose your perch.

But you'd have to prove it.

You'd have to say, here's what Acosta did over a period of time.

Here's what was really true.

The man is being dishonest, so we are not going to credential him to sit in the press briefing.

You can get away with that, and I think that's legitimate.

But for opinion, you can't.

You've got to let the journalist spout off.

But if they're blatantly dishonest, then you can go after them.

Well, we went through that at Fox when I was there.

I know the White House went to speak to Roger Ailes about me several times, and

Roger said, if he is wrong, we will correct it.

What are the things that he said that are incorrect?

And they only could come up with that I said Van Jones went to prison when indeed he only went to jail.

And I did correct that.

I mean, you know, there were bars involved in both.

But to show that that was a standard.

It is or should be the standard.

Right.

More on this just.

You've got to understand something.

See, I think you and Stu, let's get Stu involved with this.

Thank you, buddy.

I think you take President Trump to literally.

No, no, no.

Uh-uh.

No, wait a minute.

I want you to know.

Because everybody knows what he's doing

with this journalistic thing.

So I won't.

I know what he's doing.

Yes, so let me take a break, and I want to come back right there, because part of me is, I know he's not going to do that.

He's not going to do that.

However, I want to ask you one question, and I think it's important that we talk about that when we come back.

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Back with Bill O'Reilly from BillO'Reilly.com talking about the First Amendment, freedom of the press.

The president has joked

this week, or he didn't joke.

He made a statement on Twitter that said, maybe I should revoke some credentials at the White House because they're unfair and dishonest.

Fake news.

Well, the press has gone crazy.

When he said that, my first reaction was an eye roll and like, he's not going to do that.

And the press is going to spend all of their time going crazy about that.

Two thoughts came to mind, Bill, and I want you to answer both.

First,

the president is the chief of the bully pulpit.

He is also sworn to uphold the Constitution.

and that means to help

instill the sense of the Constitution.

Nobody even knows under 30, they don't even know what freedom of press and freedom of speech even means.

The president should not be saying things like that because it lets people of another generation, unlike yours and mine, think that that is even a possibility.

Second,

I shouldn't be put in a position to where I am kind of numb to the president saying things like this.

I shouldn't have to go, well, which one did he mean and which one didn't he mean?

Can you answer those?

Well, I mean, I think you're living in

a world that is full of butterflies and

pink

flowers because

the country elected a bombastic

guy who doesn't really think

the Constitution

when he tweets.

Okay, so I, as somebody

who I am, I do think of the Constitution, and so I should take those seriously, and I should say the president or anyone should not be joking like that in a position of power because that is unconstitutional.

Well, you can make that criticism, but it's not a criticism that's going to go anywhere because the American people elected a man who called a sitting senator Little Marco

who told the nation

that a two-term governor in Florida was boring and should move down the stage because his poll numbers were cratering.

This is who the public elected.

Now you want Benjamin Franklin?

Come on.

Yes, I do want Benjamin Franklin.

I would take Benjamin Flintlin.

Bring Ben back.

Yeah.

It does seem, though, that

we are supposed to come up with a different rule of human interaction with this president than I do with everyone else.

When I go to Starbucks and I order something, they literally tell me what I'm going to get.

But with this guy, I'm supposed to translate all the time.

I have to have Bill O'Reilly on every week to translate what the president says.

And to explain the state of the nation.

But look, you get what you vote for.

It's like you get what you pay for.

You get what you vote for.

The thing about Donald Trump that is impressive in some areas is that the guy is the guy.

Okay?

I mean, he's not a phony politician, which is why he was elected.

So his behavior was awful in the primary,

you know, and you guys wanted awful behavior.

So we have it.

Now, by awful, I mean that he is not going to censor himself because of any greater good or unintended consequence.

And that can lead to really not good things.

Now,

the rationalization is, well, his policies are good.

So he's

got a little rocket guy on his knees.

Let me come back to that because some of the things that I have said, you know, don't tweet that, Mr.

President.

Please don't tweet that, has actually turned out to help

And so you're not really sure where to turn on this one.

Back in a minute with Bill O'Reilly.

Back.

Go back to Bill O'Reilly.

We're talking, let me talk specifically about North Korea and the

prisoners that were brought back to the United States.

Bill, how much do you think

Donald Trump's tweets, I mean, his very aggressive tweets against the short fat man

played a role?

None.

None.

You want to know what happened?

Yeah.

All right.

So Trump said to the Chinese guys, look,

we can really put an economic hurt on you, and I'm going to go out and say that we're going to do that because we have a $375 billion deficit, and that's got to come down.

And the Chinese guys said, ooh, we don't want that.

And he said, and another thing, you get the little jerk in North Korea and you tell him he's got to stop this nonsense and I'm putting it on you to do that.

Now if you bring him in, then I'll lay off on the deficit thing.

That's what happened.

So the Chinese guys called up the little rocket guy and said, hey, if you keep it up and keep launching missiles and being bilicose, word of the day, okay,

we're going to make sure that there's a bullet in the back of your head.

So you're 29.

Do you want to see 30?

You knock it off.

So Little Rocket Guy met with his two friends and they said, hmm,

we probably should knock this off and then we'll get a lot of fame

by playing along and being a good guy like Muammar Gaddafi, who did the same thing.

when he was on the ropes in Libya.

So that's why it happened.

It had nothing to do with tweets.

So

he is turning out.

How about that analogy?

No, it's very good.

It's very good.

Spirit for the man.

He is

what happened.

All right.

So he is turning out to be

what was promised as a very good negotiator in some cases, but not on the domestic front.

Why?

Well, wait, wait, wait.

I don't know about very good negotiator yet.

Okay, we'll see.

Because Iran's now in play and Putin is still causing troubles.

I'm not sure about that.

But the one thing he has that no American president has had since Millard Fillmore is that Trump is crazy.

Okay?

So and I say that in the night

you do.

And these guys over there going, you know, this son of a bitch, he could lob the missile right into the body.

That's what I meant by those tweets.

He is a guy with a twitchy eye to the rest of the world.

He does not play ball the way everybody else does.

And I think that's important.

You know, at the negotiating table, you have to know your opponent.

That's right.

And they don't know him yet.

Correct.

But they don't want to take the chance.

Now, don't be surprised is in the next press conference, Donald Trump steps steps to the podium wearing a sarape, a round Western hat, and having a little cheroot.

Okay?

Because he wants the bad guys in the world, he wants them to think this guy is capable of anything.

That's what he's doing with Iran now.

He's doing exactly the same thing.

He's going, we're going to break you.

We're going to break you first economically, but if you get out of line, you fire on one of our warships in the Persian Gulf or anything, you see what's going to happen.

And

so

that kind of persona is effective to some degree.

It's not going to work with Putin.

Yes, I know.

But it will work with the third world people.

And that's why you got a little rocket man to do what he's doing.

Tell me what's going to happen next week and this weekend in Israel.

Things are really heating up between Iran and Israel.

I think that's where the next war is going to be for the Middle East.

It's not going to be a long war because Iran can't stand up to the Israeli military machine.

So you've got to understand, you know, the mullahs know they got problems inside the country because all the people hate them, because they can't prosper.

All right.

The only reason they're there is because of the Revolutionary Guard, which is like the Gestapo or the SS.

It's the same thing.

And that's the only reason that these mullahs control that country.

So

Israel is itching, is itching to blow the hell out of them.

All right?

So I predict that Iran will pull back.

It made its little statement and it got whacked.

It got whacked.

And so the Iranian military machine can't stand up to the Israeli military machine and that's why the thing will peter out, I think.

I want to talk to you about your op-ed, political evil.

This is something that we covered on our show three, four weeks ago, and

there's no traction on it.

People are not paying attention.

And you are right.

It is political evil.

Do you want to go through this?

No doubt.

Well, the column is posted on billorilly.com, and I thank you very much for mentioning it.

There was a, and just very briefly, there was a secret meeting in Atlanta a short time ago.

At the meeting, the head of the DNC, Perez, former governor of Virginia, Terry McAuliffe, who wants to run for president, and other big shot Democrats.

The meeting was dominated by a group called Solidaire, which nobody's ever heard of.

Solidaire

has

accumulated a bunch of very wealthy far-left zealots, people like Soros, and put together a fund of tens of millions of dollars to target people like me, like you, like Trump, like people they despise, all right, for destruction.

And that can take on a lot of different forms.

But the form that is apparent is that they are paying people,

attorneys.

Who's paying Stormy Daniels' attorney?

Avenetti.

Who's paying him?

Somebody is.

Okay.

So anyway, this group, which was involved in this conference in Atlanta, put together a slush fund of tens of millions of dollars to destroy people.

Americans don't know about it.

Mainstream media won't cover it.

It is the news.

It's my column on billorilly.com, and it's backed up every way you can back it up.

It is the new Tides Foundation,

and it is better and bigger and more vicious, I think, than vicious.

Oh, absolutely.

And this is what happens in totalitarian societies.

Okay, that's what Stalin did.

It's what Mussolini did.

It's what Ho Chi Minh did.

Target your enemies, destroy them very quietly,

and make it seem like it's a legitimate thing.

So the Stormy Danes doesn't come out of, doesn't just doesn't come out of nowhere.

Woman got paid off, all right?

And she got her money, took her money, and then all of a sudden she's back.

She's back with a lawyer who's on every single program.

That's not an accident.

It's not an accident.

And that is the most extreme thing I can show you.

But it

happened to me.

Okay?

And it's happening to other people, politicians, commentators, commentators, whatever it may be.

And this is just off the chart.

New York Times going to do something about this?

No, they're not.

So, Bill, the Democracy Alliance

is part of this, and it is a very, very far-left group, and it is pushing the Democrats into a place, and they don't need a hard push, but it's pushing them into free universal education, universal health care, universal free stuff everywhere.

I mean, it is hardcore socialism.

And is the Democratic Party, the actual voters, are the voters that vote Democrat in the rest of the country?

Are they with that?

They don't know really what the extreme

part of the Democratic Party is angling for.

But the extreme part is becoming the...

But the extreme part is now the main part of the Democratic Party.

Not yet.

It's not quite there yet.

Look, in the column, I give the agenda that was on the discussion sheets in Atlanta.

And the most striking thing about that agenda was that these people want Medicare for everybody at every age.

Okay, so you're born, you got Medicare.

That means that all your health bills for your whole life are paid for by the federal government.

Okay, for 350 million Americans, because I'm including illegal aliens in there, because they're going to get everything too.

Okay, so in order to pay for that, you have to seize property from individuals and from corporations.

You have to.

You can't pay for it any other way but seizing, outright seizing private property.

You mean seizing hospitals and

you have to seize the mechanism of profit.

So that

you have to impose punitive taxation on corporations.

Forget about the Trump tax cut.

That goes back up to 40.

And then if you are an affluent American, you tax everything you have.

All right.

Everything you have.

And then when you die, you come in and take everything away.

That's the only way to pay for Medicare, universal Medicare, for all Americans at every age.

Well, it's not only universal Medicare, it's free college tuition.

And my favorite was right.

Reparations for slavery.

Right.

Reparations for slavery they want.

That means cash payments to

African Americans.

It's amazing.

But the big thing is the Medicare.

When I saw that, I went, this is unbelievable.

And they have not said that publicly yet.

No Democratic candidate has said that because then people like you and I would discuss it.

And then people would go, I don't want them taking my house after I die.

Americans don't understand.

They don't understand that they will take your house after you die in order to pay for everybody's medical.

They will do that if these people get power.

Bill O'Reilly, this is his op-ed.

It's up on the front page of BillO'Reilly.com today.

It's called Political Evil.

It is a must-read.

Bill O'Reilly, thanks.

We'll see you next weekend.

Let me say

Happy Mother's Day to everybody.

Thank you.

I'm not a mother, but

Happy Mother's Day to you.

Some respect.

Bill, are you aware, is it true that a subscription to BillORIL.com is a good Mother's Day present?

Oh, Stu!

The best.

Oh, my God.

What do you get from him?

What does he give you?

12%.

So

thanks, Bill.

Go to billorilly.com and subscribe.

And you should do that.

It's a good idea.

By the way, Glenn, we should talk about Monday.

They had released all these ads from the Russian bots that were buying all these ads.

Budge of them released some of them targeted at not only Bill O'Reilly fans, but also the Blaze fans.

So we'll have that list on Monday.

All right.

Do you notice that the press is all concerned about those lies and fake news, but they weren't, for instance, remember the guy who we found out was a leftist and wrote the story about how I was paid $100 and some

$1,000 by him.

You notice they don't care about that one.

No, they care about that fake news.

No, they did not care about that fake news.

No.

They still don't care.

And the guy admitted it,

and they don't care.

It's fascinating to me how this investigation that is so important, it really is.

Only seems to be going after the Russians and what the Russians did to help

Donald Trump.

I mean, to be fair, potentially Russian invasion into our election process slightly more important than

the internet nerd tries to.

I know that, but the hypocrisy just never.

One of these days, it's going to end, but it just, it's not today.

It's not today.

All right.

We all know.

Experience tells us

moms don't forget.

Moms don't forget.

And you know this because at some point you're going to be sitting in a situation and mom's going to say, you know, it was like, and you're like, oh, dear God, mom, don't, no, not that story.

Moms don't forget.

So if you somehow or another have messed around and you've forgotten Mother's Day is Sunday,

mom's not going to forget.

You may.

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I've reminded you for two or three weeks now.

So, we have, what, two weeks left?

It's Sunday, Stu.

Which Sunday, though?

Because a lot of

Sundays every year.

Three days from now.

No, that can't be true.

That can't be true.

Not today.

It's not tomorrow.

It's Sunday.

The third day.

She'll rise again.

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I don't know about you, but

Dwayne Johnson, I'm ready for him to be president.

I thought, I used to to joke, yeah, we'll have the rock for president.

I'm actually ready.

I'm ready.

You know, he wants to run in 2024.

I'm actually starting to, and I know it's just the movies, but he saved us from almost everything.

And he also seems to be pretty smart.

Variety has just announced that he will be paid $22 million for his next project, Red Notice.

But a million of that

is because he said, oh, you want me to tweet?

Oh, yeah, that's a million bucks.

Tweeting.

They're paying him a million dollars for going.

Oh, look at me.

I'm in this new movie.

That is amazing.

That's amazing.

A million dollars to tweet, and we all do it for free like idiots.

Like morons.

Like morons.

We should have a U.S.

Twitter feed.

And then we just sell our tweets from, look, the United States just tweeted something.

Said, China's got a new product.

They just tried it out.

It's pretty good.

I don't care.

Hey, there's this, there's this new Bollywood movie that's out.

John from Ohio's in it.

The U.S.

just tweeted it.

It looks pretty good, maybe.

Can you imagine how much Trump's going to get when he gets out of office for his tweets?

Oh, my God.

He's going to get it.

I mean, he's already very rich.

He's going to make a lot of money on that.

A lot of money.

A lot of money.

It's kind of like, oh, my hotels went down the drain?

Huh?

Let me tweet about it.

Glenn back.

Technology is going to be great and will free us or it will enslave us.

It is the source of a lot of hope and a lot of anxiety in our culture right now.

A lot of anxiety at the upper levels of the tech industry.

Yesterday, the White House hosted a meeting with major tech companies to discuss artificial intelligence, and that is good.

Been saying for a long time, we must have these conversations about technology.

The changes that are coming our way, whether we like it or not, are profound, and we need to try to be informed and prepared.

Now, there are things on the horizon to be concerned about and guard against, but there is also things that are on the horizon that are absolutely mind-boggling in a good way.

Medical technology, for example.

Crazy stuff right out of science fiction that is changing lives.

Let me give you one story.

Two years ago, a 19-year-old Army private, Shamika Burij, was driving back to her base in Fort Bliss, Texas after visiting family in Mississippi.

One of her front tires blew out.

She lost control of her car, which flipped several times, threw her out of the car.

She suffered severe head injuries, compression fractures in her spine, and completely lost her left ear.

So she went through months and months and months of surgeries and rehabilitation.

She grew depressed

because she was able able to get back on her feet, but she lost an ear and it was depressing for her to look at herself in the mirror.

She considered going through a prosthetic ear surgery where they would just, I don't know if, I don't know how it works,

but it would cause more

scarring and further surgery.

Then her Army doctors told her about another option that she couldn't believe.

They said,

how about we grow one for you, a real real one, one that you'll be able to feel,

and we can reattach it.

What?

The procedure is called prelaminated forearm free-flap.

Basically, they would grow her new ear inside of her left forearm.

So how did they do it?

Well, they took cartilage from her ribs.

and then used that to shape the cartilage of a new ear.

Then they place that ear under the skin of her

forearm so it could grow and form new blood vessels and nerves and everything else.

Her new ear will have arteries, veins, and even a nerve, so she'll be able to feel it.

Oh, and surgeons also say they're going to be able to open her ear canal so she won't lose any hearing.

Lieutenant Colonel Owen Johnson, the chief army surgeon who reconstructed the ear, said, in five years, if somebody

doesn't know that she lost an ear, they will never, ever notice.

The total ear construction is the first of its kind in the Army.

Barrage says already had their ear attached and has two follow-up surgeries to go.

She said, it's a long process for everything,

but I feel I'm finally back.

It's Friday, May 11th.

This is the Glenn Beck program.

All right.

Last hour of the week.

We don't want to waste any time.

So,

and I've got a stack of stories here I've had on my desk all week that I wanted to get to.

There's two stories in particular that I think are important.

Stu, I'd like you to choose the news here because it's which one's going to get on the train.

Okay.

Two stories that I think are really important, and then some other stories that I rather enjoy.

But those usually don't get onto the train.

So, two stories that I think are important.

Goldman Sachs and Apple team up on a a new credit card.

This one is gigantic for several reasons.

Story number two, as Amazon pursues a second headquarters, it battles hometown Seattle over tax to stem homelessness.

This is an incredible story about Seattle and how they're driving businesses out.

Okay.

And then do I get another choice?

Is there another one?

I've got several.

Should I give you all of the headlines and then you pick one or

or just one headline because that's the way we usually do it they give you three stories yeah give me three

three so there's one two that I just gave you

masked burglar

wears bizarre mask that allows police to find him rather quickly

oh definitely

definitely the third one credit card news tax hike news Okay, if you're a burglar, what is the mask that you would wear?

Probably a ski mask would be choice number one.

Maybe

Jason from Friday the First World War.

Okay, the Halloween mask.

Right, okay, sure.

Well, this guy in Georgia, he had a different idea.

He broke into a GameStop store in the small coastal town of St.

Mary's, Georgia, at about 1:20 in the morning.

The alarms went off.

Police got there and they just

reviewed the surveillance video

and they were like,

okay, this is not going to be hard to find him.

They found him.

And when they found him, he was even,

he was

just still wearing the same clothes, but he had removed the mask.

And he was confused as to how they found him.

Apparently, now

this was clever of him.

Apparently, when he decided to rob the GameStop, he put a lot of thought into his mask, and he thought,

how can I not be recognized?

So he looked at all of the things that he had available, and that's when his eyes fell down on a case of Desante water.

Dasante water?

Yeah.

Okay.

So

you know how water comes and it's packaged.

It's on the box.

It's on the flat.

And then it's got the plastic over it?

Yeah.

Okay.

So he decided to use that as his mask.

Wait, the.

He took all the water out.

Okay.

So.

And he took the cardboard out.

Okay.

Okay.

And then he just put a hole in the bottom of it and he put that mask, put that, that, you know, it says water.

He put that plastic over his head.

Now, he was having a hard time seeing because there was all the writing on it.

So he just took the opening on the one side and then turned it towards his face because he had to see what he was doing.

So if you saw him on the side, all you would see was this walking case of DeSante Water.

Dasanti Water.

But if you were looking at him from the front,

you'd just peeking his head through a hole in the mask.

So he disguised the side of his head and not the front of his head.

The front of his head.

Yes, the police said it wasn't really hard.

We just just released the photo of a man wearing a black t-shirt, khaki pants, and a crumpled plastic bag with his face clearly showing.

Police say this isn't the first time.

Back in 2009, two men were arrested after trying to break into an Iowa man's home.

They were found to have just scribbled masks onto their faces with black marker.

When police felt they knew who they were,

they went to the house, and strangely, the two men could not get the black marker entirely off of their face.

And finally, one man in California

who decided to rob a liquor store,

he decided that he was going to

try to disguise himself

by placing feminine hygiene pads across his eyes.

Apparently, that didn't work.

That didn't work.

Did he just bump into a lot of things?

I'm not really sure how that worked, but now I will say that was a great story.

That was a great one.

But you really went to the bus.

But now let's go to the choose your news again because you got the two important stories, and clearly.

Goldman Sachs, Apple, team up new credit.

New credit card.

Amazon pursued second headquarters, fight Seattle.

Big tax story.

Yes.

Yes.

And the third story?

Oh, you want a choice again?

Well, that's how this works, right?

You get three stories.

Roofer charged after repossessing Roof.

Canadian Zoo faces charges after taking Bear out for ice cream.

And

new beer based on George Washington's handwritten recipe that makes me question everything about George Washington.

Choose the night.

Do I still have the option of the serious stories?

Yes.

Those are the two.

Those are the first two.

Yeah, those are the first two.

And then I can choose from the other three as well.

Yes.

So those are the first two.

Okay, the two important ones, the tax one and the credit market.

Make a choice, man.

George Washington beer.

Budweiser

is launching a new beer using a recipe written by George Washington.

with a portion of the proceeds going to Folds of Honor.

Now, as an alcoholic, I am encouraging you to drink this.

you're encouraging people to drink as an alcoholic as an alcoholic i'm saying i would i would give my left arm to be able to taste the beer that george washington had you know there is something cool about it like there's a that's really cool i think one of the big beer companies put out a prohibition ale yeah i think it was last year and what it tasted like and back then yeah no it was like a an a legitimate recipe they found in a wall

People were hiding it because of the prohibition era.

They actually found the recipe in the wall and started making it.

Probably bad.

It was actually not bad.

I think I had it.

I mean, of course, they may have modified it slightly to make it more delicious, but it was not bad.

So, this beer was once called America, and they found it among the writings of George Washington.

So, Budweiser is going to make it

this summer.

Now, they found it in his military journal, and it was just marked to make small beer.

To make small beer.

That's what he said.

To make small beer.

Okay, so here's what he wrote.

This is what the whole thing is based on.

Take a large sifter full of bran hops to your taste.

Well, I don't.

To your taste.

To your taste.

I don't know how bran hops.

I don't even know what bran hops taste like.

Is that a lot of bran hops or a few bran hops?

Well, it's to your taste.

It could be as many bran hops as you think appropriately.

I'm spending a lot of time trying to figure out how many bran

hops I like.

Boil these for three hours, then strain out 30 gallons into a cooler.

So

that's a lot of water.

So it's got to be a lot of bran hops.

It's probably a lot of bran hops there.

Okay.

So strain out.

Again, you need to know the amount of bran hops.

If you know it's too water.

Right.

You need the ratio.

Yeah.

I mean, is that so?

It would a cup do an offel?

I don't know.

Then strain out 30 gallons into a cooler and put three gallons of molasses while the beer is scalding hot or rather drain the molasses into a cooler.

Wait, what?

Or?

Right.

Strain out 30 gallons into a cooler, put in three gallons of molasses while the beer is scalding hot, or rather drain the molasses into the cooler.

What the hell is the difference between put three gallons of molasses or drain the molasses into the cooler?

I don't know what that means.

Strain the beer.

Strain the beer on it while boiling hot.

On it.

On what?

Strain the beer on what?

I thought you were putting the molasses into the beer.

Isn't the beer the strained hops?

I don't know.

So that's the beer.

Then I have the 30 gallons in a cooler that I just put molasses in while it was scalding hot.

Then I'm supposed to strain the beer on it.

What?

I don't.

No wonder no one could understand our founding documents.

I mean, this is crazy.

Then he says, while boiling it hot.

Well, I thought you already said it was scalding hot.

While boiling it hot, let it stand.

While boiling it hot, let it stand until it's a little more than blood warm.

While boiling it?

That's something a serial killer would say.

Put a.

I know the exact temperature and plot.

Then put in a quart of yeast if the weather is cold or very cold.

Cover it with a blanket.

So do I not put a quart of yeast in if the weather is warm?

Or do I not cover it with a blanket if it's warm?

Right.

Let it work in the cooler for 24 hours, then put it into a cask.

Leave the bung open.

I don't even know what that is.

I don't want to know what that is.

The bung is a real thing.

I thought it it was just a Beavis and Butthead.

I have no idea.

Leave the bung open until it's almost done working.

Then, my favorite direction, bottle it that day week it was brewed.

So either the week or the day.

No punctuation.

Bottle it that day week it was brewed.

Was he giving himself options?

I don't know, but I no longer believe in the Constitution of the United States of America.

Then

hisses should do.

Then your bottle a day week is brewed.

You put the yeast in the weather's cold

and cover it with a blanket, and that's it's warm.

Maybe he was drinking the beer as he was writing it.

I don't have any idea.

I want somebody to.

Interesting.

We have a pretty

experienced

beer brewer guy on staff.

Ed Bishop is a big home brewer.

Really?

I bet he would be able to

attempt this.

I wonder if you could make this without alcohol in it.

I don't know.

I know.

For me, I just want to taste it.

I'm not.

I'm curious about how many bran hops I like.

Everyone needs to know the answer to that question before.

Could be the molasses.

Could be the bran hops.

I don't know what bran hops do to food.

So anyway, Freedom Reserve Red Lager.

It's available in May through September 30th.

Oh, and they're already making it, so we can try it.

We'll bring some in.

There's a taste test on Monday there.

Oh, that's not.

Yeah, I'll get some in.

That's not.

I get to try it.

This show's a lot better drunk.

I'll tell you that.

I'll tell you that, buddy.

The other day,

we were talking to the guys at Filter Buy, and

everybody here has really bad allergies.

And

we were talking about filters, and I don't know anything about filters.

I mean, I buy a house.

I expect it to work.

You know, I mean, who's with me on that?

Buy a house.

What?

It's got a filter I got to change?

I'll sell this dump.

Anyway, that's kind of how I feel.

It should be plug and play, shouldn't it?

It is.

Turn it on.

I got the key.

What else?

Okay.

So apparently, air filters make a huge difference, especially in allergies.

And here, I don't know if you saw that video I posted on facebook or twitter a couple of days ago oh i'm all over your social feeds yeah did you see the one where they where they hit a tree and it didn't even look real all the pollen came out oh go go go to my twitter feed and look at it it's unbelievable and i wouldn't believe it was real if if i hadn't lived in texas there is so much crap in the air here from pollen it's crazy Anyway, that stuff is supposed to get caught up in the filter and filtered out for the air that you breathe.

Who knows?

You should change that once in a while.

Anyway, Filter Buy.

They knew.

America's leading provider for HVAC filters for homes and small businesses.

They make it really easy for you to improve the quality of the air that you breathe, and they'll save you money because

it's a discount for going with Filter Buy, but it also will reduce the wear and tear on your HVAC system.

They're all built here in America.

They're shipped for free within 24 hours.

You'll save 5% if you have the auto delivery.

You don't have to, but you can sign up for that.

600 sizes.

They'll even make them custom for you.

It's filterbuy.com.

That's filterbuy.com.

Filterbuy.com.

Goldman Sachs and Apple.

Team up on new credit card.

Goldman Sachs and Apple preparing to launch a new joint credit card, a move that would deepen the technology giants push into its customers' wallets and mark the Wall Street firm's first foray into plastic.

The planned card will carry the Apple Pay brand and could launch early next year.

Apple will replace its long-standing rewards card partnership with Barclays.

The Apple Goldman Sachs card could help companies combat weaknesses in their core business.

The new iPhone sales slows.

Apple is

focusing on services such as mobile payments, streaming music subscriptions, and App Store sales.

Now,

I just would like to point out that I thought Goldman Sachs was the most evil

bank

in the world.

You thought that or the left is that?

I thought that was pretty clear from the left.

The left is,

what was the movie with

Steve Carell?

He played.

40-year-old virgin.

No.

It's a cartoon.

He plays the Russian spy.

Girls, don't cry, don't despicable.

despicable money.

Remember, he goes to the bank and it's Evil Bank or Evil Corp, formerly Goldman Sachs.

I don't remember that, but I would not be saying that.

Or is it Lehman Brothers?

But Lehman Brothers and Goldman Sachs are the same thing.

Remember,

we can't have somebody.

He's got nothing but Goldman Sachs people around him.

Right.

That was right.

That was a big criticism.

So it was the reality.

How is Apple not known as the most evil company on the planet?

I really want to know.

Steve Jobs was an ass.

If I wasn't a nice guy, I would finish that word.

I'm only saying that because he specifically targeted me.

No, no, no, I'm not.

He was a bad man.

He was a really bad guy.

He was a genius, but a bad guy.

In addition, he also called Fox News to try to get you fired.

Yes, he did.

It's only written about in his book, but that's a different story.

Now they are teaming up with Goldman Sachs.

How does this company do it?

I'm telling you, they're in league with the devil.

It's black magic.

We all have stories.

We each have a story.

You're listening to the Glenn Back program.

It's an important story, but I also have a story of Texas Tech, where they are training men to trans men to sound more feminine.

Trans men.

Wouldn't it be trans women, right?

Because you're not supposed to refer to them as their former gender, so it would be trans women.

No, women.

I think trans women means they've transitioned into a woman.

I think that's what that means.

So, trans women is actually doing it the PC way.

Okay, so trans men helps

the Texas Tech University has a new program to help

people, men transitioning to women on their vocal presentations so they can sound more

like a woman.

And I can do that one for free.

You just say, that's not funny.

Or

you're not wearing that out, are you?

Or

no, I'm not mad.

Or nothing is bothering me.

It's cold.

I'm cold.

Yeah.

You know what you did.

Though that's, you'll pass as a woman every time.

Just I'll tell you.

And that I give to you that whole course

saved him a whole semester worth of money.

Tuition.

That's great.

We've got more sexist humor on the other side of the break.

Good morning.

Good morning, everybody.

That's sadly not humor.

That's just true.

Oh, it's very true.

Okay.

Pat, welcome to the program.

Thank you.

All right.

There's a 12-year-old autistic boy who was in school and

just decided he was going to play

with an imaginary rifle, held his hands up like an imaginary rifle, and a teacher felt threatened by that.

Because, as you know, imaginary bullets tear through your body at such a rate that I

don't think the bleeding can be stopped.

Hang on, just a moment.

I don't think it can.

Hang on.

Was it an AR-15 with a high-capacity magazine?

I'm sure

it was a military style.

Imaginary wife.

A weapon of war.

A warful.

So it was an imaginary wife.

One design

and one only

to kill.

Right.

This imaginary rifle was designed

to imaginarily

kill.

Okay, so this kid with autism.

Yes.

Please tell me he's in prison.

The police came and dragged him out of class in handcuffs.

This is in Conroe, Texas, suburban Houston.

You would think better of the administrator.

Common sense.

But no, common sense did not prevail because the teacher felt threatened.

They handcuffed him, dragged him out, put him in a detention center for two hours.

I bet that worked well

with a kid with autism.

Right?

That's what his mom said.

Yeah.

This is really going to help.

Well, you're going to listen to a mother that probably raised him to play with imaginary guns.

She probably did.

She probably did.

Her point was, hey, couldn't you have called me and I could come down and say, honey, I know you like to play with imaginary guns.

You just can't do that at school.

Done.

That seems like a rational way.

And then if it happened again, you

take whatever measure, I guess, you have to if you feel threatened by his imaginary rifle.

Yeah, I would might, you know, if it, if it happened once,

I would call the parent.

If it happened twice, I might call the teacher and say, you know what, relax.

It's imaginary.

Okay?

Yes.

I'm just saying.

Yes.

I might even say that the first time.

She could potentially relax if she had an imaginary Kevlar vest on.

But if she did not, then

maybe what I would do to the teacher.

I'd say, sit down, close your eyes for a second.

Imagine you have a Kevlar vest.

You have a Kevlar vest.

That his imaginary bullet cannot penetrate.

Then you won't feel threatened.

Imagine you're in a safe zone.

She actually said he did something threatening or he said something threatening before he brandished the rifle.

He brandished an imaginary rifle.

You can't brandish rifle.

You can't brandish an imaginary rifle.

This is something that we have turned into.

Guys, remember I said history is going to repro.

They're going to look back at this time.

No.

They're going to look back at this time.

They are going to think we are insane.

Well, we are.

We are.

They're going to know we're insane because we are.

We are.

The kid got kicked out of school, and he's going to A school the rest of the year.

He's got to go to the disciplinary school now.

A 12-year-old autistic boy for playing with an imaginary rifle.

Oh, my God.

They just don't tolerate it.

We don't tolerate it.

That's what we told the parents.

We just don't tolerate it.

Zero tolerance.

I'm doing it.

I want a new book.

I want to write a new bathroom book, and I just want to call it History Will Judge Us.

And it's just going to be filled with just those stories.

That would seriously be great.

Yeah, actually.

That'd be great.

It would be.

And just with a plea at the end, we weren't all like this.

We were not all like this.

Well, it's similar to what you always talk about with artificial intelligence.

That artificial intelligence

will do anything it can to complete its task, no matter how ridiculous or crazy or dangerous, right?

That's the danger about AI.

Yes.

It's the same thing with these zero tolerance things.

It's like they want so badly to discourage gun use or violence in schools, they'll go to any lengths to do it, no matter how dumb it is, even if it doesn't help.

Like expelling an autistic kid for brandishing an imaginary weapon is, by all measures, insane.

It's what a dumb artificial intelligence unit would do.

One that has zero common sense.

One that's just like, I will stop all brandishing of firearms.

You know what I mean?

It's that.

And unfortunately, those are the morons that are programming AI right now.

There's no way out.

Is there?

I mean, is there any way out?

When it happens to Texas, when it happens in Texas, you got to say, we are in deep trouble.

We do have deep trouble.

Another Texas school update, however, this one related directly to Pat Gray, who brought this story to our attention initially.

Do you remember the story where in Katie, Texas, where

a guy got up in front of the school board and started talking about bullying and this terrible

circumstance of bullying in his past as a kid?

His head was slammed into a urinal and then he was kicked.

Covered in urinal urinal.

It was really bad.

And then at the end of it, he just blurts out, yeah, by the way, that was you, Lance, the guy on the school board, the guy who's the

superintendent of schools.

That was you who did that to me.

It was a powerful moment.

It really was.

And he claimed that that wasn't him.

He didn't know the guy.

He was lying.

But others.

Several witnesses.

Several witnesses came through and go, no, you don't know.

The school superintendent, he was a jerk.

He had a record of being that kind of a guy.

A judge in, where was it, Alabama

came out and said, no, no, no, I was there.

I saw that.

Yeah.

And so we had the guy on who was bullied, and he told his story.

It was pretty convincing.

So update from KD, Texas Today,

from school district superintendent Lance Hint, is it?

Yes.

Quote, in light of an organized and relentless and dishonest smear campaign against me,

I cannot remain as superintendent of KDISD.

My family is now my number one priority.

They are innocent bystanders.

This malicious campaign against me is hurting them severely, and I cannot allow it any further.

He will resign as of January 1st, 2019.

Now, you, Pat, were arguably the leader of this dishonest smear campaign against him.

What's your comment?

Jesus,

Jesus, good.

Jesus sitting in your judgment seat.

I didn't judge the guy.

Just brought the story up several times.

And I'm good.

You know, he can claim all the

persecution persecution he wants.

I think everybody else knows better.

And, you know, it would have been different if he would have just come out and said, look, I was, you know, 15 or whatever.

Yeah, it would.

Why do you think I'm doing this now?

It would have been so powerful.

But the fact that he

claims that that wasn't him, that they didn't even go to the same school together, which they clearly did.

You have witnesses that were there, that saw it at the time.

You know, the fact that...

Why would anybody corroborate that story if it weren't true?

Why?

They had no interest in that.

They had no vested interest

in this guy.

Out of story.

Out of state.

Yeah.

Out of state.

It makes absolutely no sense.

Two parts of this, though, that are interesting.

Number one, he's not being fired, right?

He's not even resigning.

He's retiring, which means when you retire, he's probably going to get a sleep pension for

a fortune.

With bonuses and benefits, he makes between $4,000 and $500,000 a year.

I mean, can you imagine

it's going to be nice.

And in addition, the KDISD board voted to provide legal support for him.

So they're actually, the taxpayers are going to fund his pension and fund his legal defense.

And I guess that's a good, this is as good an outcome as you can hope for in the circumstance.

I'm glad I don't live there anymore.

I'd be pissed.

Paying for all that?

No, thank you.

Taxes were pretty low there, right?

Oh,

really, really low.

There they were.

I'm sure they were.

Well, the Pat Gray Unleashed program is now tax-free.

That's a new, that just started.

No taxes.

Let's not be crazy.

You got to pay for medical care and everything else.

You're drunk a lot lately.

That's...

Because wouldn't you rather just...

I mean, I just wasted.

Look, if you're on the path to alcoholism, stop now.

Stop.

Really, stop.

Go get help.

Go to AA.

Get help.

It works.

And save your alcoholism for later in life.

Okay, save it.

You're going to need all those blackouts.

You're going to need those days where you just go home and go, I just, I'm just going to sit here for a while and just look at the grass and be happy.

All right.

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oh my gosh you're kidding unbelievable wow this is true it's documented it's in the washington post the second article i've read no way

okay so wait a minute wait a minute sean hannity who's a good guy

he he's he has apartment complexes yeah this is they've nailed him on this one though you're gonna change your opinion on him holy Holy cow.

This can't be true.

Now, this is the line of criticism they're going after, and he is, he's in trouble, man.

Wow.

Listen to this.

So he makes a lot of money because he runs a successful business.

Yes.

And he invested that in real estate.

A lot of those investments in real estate were in

middle-income sort of areas.

Yeah.

He may have needed improvements.

Yeah.

Which is, I would, you know,

sure, at that level, you might think it's actually true.

Sure.

But that's when the Washington Post really got to work.

And they found the truth on him, which is apparently

there were a small percentage of people going to these apartments, and they were renting the apartments.

And what they were doing was a

practice known as not paying your rent.

Really?

And what he would not do is continue to let them live there in peace.

He did not put people out on the street.

He didn't even care.

Apparently.

Now, of course, obviously, you might notice he hosts multiple programs.

So maybe he wasn't micromanaging the ins and outs of

thousands of apartments.

Of course, he was doing it.

But

even if he was.

Well, it's a good thing that none of these housing

apartment complexes were probably in the New York area because New York has all kinds of laws that you have to do before you things you have to do before you put people out on the street.

Well, I think he's smart enough to do it in Georgia.

Oh, in Georgia?

Oh, yes.

Okay.

Well, you can just dump people on the street in Georgia.

This is insane.

This is the second time they've run a story exposing nothing.

If you don't pay your rent at an apartment building, you don't get to stay in it.

That is

called squatting.

You have to pay your rent.

That is part of the agreement you make.

But you know what?

You have to sign a lease.

You know what?

It's not to a lot of people.

It really isn't.

It's not to a lot of people.

And I mean journalists.

I don't think that they are necessarily being all that dishonest.

They are Marxists.

who believe that, you know, you have a right to stuff and he makes enough money he can afford it.

They believe that.

Yeah.

just the first one that they read this big that wrote this big expose on on the fact that he owned a lot of homes that he rented because he bought real estate like well the guy has a lot of money what what is he supposed to do with it is he i i i don't understand i guess he's supposed to just give it all to like anti-gun groups would you have been happy if he did that maybe give it to the whales give it to the whales give it to the whales

i just give it to the whales it's like ridiculous these are you know if you go to a restaurant and you order a pizza and they serve it to you you and you eat it and you don't pay, that's not allowed, right?

Like, I understand people go through.

Why are you bringing pizza into this?

We're talking about something

entirely different.

Incredibly hungry.

When you have a car and you don't make payments on your car, they repossess your car.

All right, so wait a minute.

Let me give you a story that I almost did about an hour ago, and that is the guy who is the roofer that is now going to jail.

Roofer contractor charged Tuesday after removing the shingles from a customer's roof during a payment dispute.

The victim had a verbal agreement with Andrew Jackson.

Well, don't get into a verbal agreement with a guy named Andrew Jackson.

That's your first problem.

To replace her roof in 2016, he would defer the payment until her insurance issued her a check, according to the paper.

The work was completed in June 2016.

By December, he was asking for payment.

She said she couldn't pay the entire amount but offered to make payments, but he declined.

I want the money.

I need the money.

She was unable to cover the roof.

And so he went and he took the shingles off her roof.

It then rained, causing $11,000 in damage.

He was charged with criminal damage to property and criminal trespass.

Whose property was it?

His?

It was hers.

It was his.

No, he was crossing onto her property to get his property.

Right, his property.

Right.

But again,

what is a repossession of a car?

You cross onto their property to take your property.

That's what it is.

You don't get the bank doesn't get in trouble.

Right.

I mean, I guess there's a legal way to do that, probably.

Notifying.

I imagine

that taking the roof shingles off is probably not the normal way that's done.

But I mean, morally speaking, he's very justified in that.

Morally speaking, he is justified.

Hopefully, he notified her and did it the right way, but apparently he didn't.

If he did notify, we should call.

If he did notify,

what's the difference between between that and a bank?

Why can a bank do that and he can't?

Have a safe weekend.

Enjoy yourself.

I'm telling you, the world is upside down.

Don't waste those black house alcoholics.

You're gonna need them.

Glenn, back.

Mercury.