The NX-01 Is Not a T-Top (ENT S3E4)

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Transcript

Here's to the finest crew in starving.

When it comes to my crew, you won't get any argument from me.

This is a parody.

Paramount owns the song.

Welcome to The Greatest Generation.

It's a Star Trek podcast by a couple guys just a little bit embarrassed about having a Star Trek podcast.

I'm Ben Harrison.

And I'm Adam Pranica.

Adam, I was looking around my office, thinking about straightening it up, up, and then I was like, why bother?

But then, one of the things I noticed strewn about in here

was the Bible.

And I realized, it's been a long time since we've cracked the good book, the show Bible, for Star Trek Enterprise.

I don't even remember my last confession.

I confess nothing.

It's good to see you all in church.

It's called the Bible.

That's the way God wants it.

I don't know why, dude.

All these questions?

Is a little blind fate too much to ask?

Should we pick another character's bio from

the show and read it?

Can you remind me who we've done already?

I think we've done Archer Tapow, Subcommander Tapow, and I think we did Spike Tucker.

Oh, yeah.

Uh-huh.

I mean, I guess that just leaves Mayweather and Flox, right?

Yeah, we got Mayweather, Flox, Reed, Hoshi, and Hoshi.

Those are the character bios.

And then we've got the Starship Enterprise herself.

Something about the Sullibon Cabal.

Why don't you give us a Flox?

You want to hear Flox?

I think I do.

Flox plays a pretty important role in this one.

Yeah, okay.

Full name, Flox Tunai Urtan.

But he goes by Phlox, for our benefit.

Our most exotic character.

The Doctor is an eccentric alien with an oblique sense of humor that no one quite understands.

Because he speaks with an accent and isn't familiar with Earth cultures, there are many humorous misunderstandings.

Phlox thinks that humanity is fascinating.

The complex sexual mores,

his species reproduces asexually, Social custom.

Oh my, what wonderful creatures.

Pretty strange sentence construction here in the Bible.

You know, but that's like the thing.

It's like ancient texts, you know, it wasn't written in a modern vernacular.

Sure.

Yeah.

Is that it?

No, there's another paragraph here.

Okay.

You know what's so interesting about the way Phlox is written in the Bible and about the many misunderstandings that are baked into this character

is that all of the the cultural mismatch that occurs between him and other members of the crew,

it's kind of magical how always kind and funny those misunderstandings are.

They're never like, God, Flox was fucking cruel to Hoshi

in that one scene.

Like, ouch.

Like, like, that is totally withering.

You never get that.

Or at least we haven't so far.

I do like that there's a little paternalism in the way he enjoys human culture.

Like, we're a little bit quaint and backwards to him.

You know?

I mean, his people have been around the block.

Yeah.

It's like, oh,

you only fuck one of each other at a time.

Oh, man.

I mean, that's really it, isn't it?

It's like that poly attitude of like, oh, that's cute.

You're married, huh?

Uh-huh.

Neat.

Oh, you're having a tough time communicating.

He does have that energy.

Yeah.

To say that the doctor has made himself at home on the Enterprise is putting it mildly.

He's filled Six Bay with all sorts of bizarre medical instruments, alien plants and spores, and stasis chambers filled with small living creatures.

He practices a brand of intergalactic medicine, the likes of which we've never seen.

This makes the most routine visit to Six Bay an unexpected adventure.

Yeah, it's Star Trek within Star Trek, isn't it?

Like, that's what Six Bay is on Enterprise.

You never know what's going to go inside you down there.

I feel like this just, like, the Six Bay this describes, though, is not quite visually what is represented on the show.

Like, I kind of wish it was a little more mad science-y in there based on this description.

Like, we see the terrariums and stuff from time to time, but it's not like all terrariums and

like jack-off machines, all the maestro in Star Trek Voyager, you know?

Do you think you'd be more apt to go to Six Bay manned by Dr.

Flox or less, given the expectation of something weird?

Because on the one hand, you should fully expect the unexpected going to his Six Bay, but also, I think you must presume that you're going to get great medical care that probably is a shortcut to whatever you want done in a way that

Starfleet medicine isn't capable of providing.

Yeah, I mean, I think that, like, he is definitely more capable than anybody in Starfleet that could have gotten put on duty of chief medical officer on board the NXO1.

But I do think that, like, even in

a

immediately post-utopian human society, like we're talking about here, like, they just got all their shit together.

I got to imagine a human thing that we all suffer from that they probably still would suffer from to some extent is like, I don't know what the fuck that is.

And that's weird to me.

And I'm a little bit nervous about it when you go to Six Bay and he wants to put an alien leech on you or whatever.

Most of his cures seem to involve reptiles and blood sucking,

blood letting, the letting of all kinds of fluids, really.

I was watching an episode of Bluey with my son the other day, and they like go through a river or something and they get leeches on them.

And I was like, I guess in Australia, like getting leeches is no big deal because it's just, it's just a part of life as a kid.

You just get some leeches sometimes and you pull them off you.

Nobody else got hit?

I'm the only one.

What's the deal?

Was there a classic scene where a kid gets out of the river and then like looks down their underpants and freaks out?

Because I think legally, if you've been covered in leeches, your genitals must also have a leech on them.

Right.

And it's not that.

It's just, it's like, oh, yeah.

Like their dad is like, aha, you got some leeches on you, kiddo.

You know, that happens to everyone.

Have you ever had a leech on you?

You've been to a lot of places around the world.

I have, and I've been in some pretty sus bodies of water, I must say, but I've never had a leech.

And I feel like...

Had I lost money on that bet, I would have been positive you'd have a leech on you.

I would just say it, like, maybe Australians would be better adapted to flying around with flocks than other members of Starfleet, you know?

I'm just shocked.

Has Benjamin R.

Harrison ever had a leech on him?

No.

What about you, random Australian?

No.

Very surprising.

Yeah, you know?

Hey, are you kind of leech curious?

I got to admit, I'm a little bit leech curious.

I wonder what it feels like pulling it off.

Like, is it...

You hear that they're not painful because their saliva is numbing yeah

but but is it like ripping off a band-aid when they come off or is it like a little bit more intense than that i swear baby it was leeches

i took a trip to australia right you know that i was in australia working i have a so i have a hickey on my pecker

You wouldn't do that normally.

Must be one of those undisclosed sexual aids.

It's never leeches.

It's never leeches.

That's what the suspicious wife thinks.

Yeah, were the leeches also wearing bright red lipstick and kissing your collar?

Yeah.

Yeah,

do the leeches smell like Chanel?

Maybe if you swim on the river where the Chanel factory operates and dumps other wastewater, That could be nice.

Well, an alluring scent may be at play in today's episode of Star Trek Enterprise, Adam.

Definitely some bright lipstick.

It is season three, episode four.

Rajim.

Our cold open is at another meeting of the Zindi of the roundtable.

where they're discussing what Enterprise has been up to now.

Here's the thing.

Everyone's mad at Degra.

Poor Degra has fallen behind on the development of his planet-killing weapon.

And everyone's like, you know what, Degra?

If you're not going to deliver the weapon on time, maybe we're just going to see if we can come up with some different weapons, some more horrible weapons that you couldn't possibly develop because you're so fucking slow.

It would be nice if some of these Zendi had a the Emperor is coming to motivate Degra, you know?

Like,

I feel like when you're building a planet killer weapon that is a giant sphere, you want the threat of Emperor to really freak out whoever is in charge of building that thing.

The Death Star will be completed on schedule.

There is not a bunch of like

racial put-down pushbacks from Degra here because you would expect Degra to look at the tank full of the aquatics indie and he's like, what are you going to do?

Like you're going to build a bomb underwater?

That's fucking stupid.

That will never work.

Yet, somehow, the responsibility is on me, Degra, the dry one, to build the bomb.

But also, Degra, when you're explaining you're losing and we were talking about how this is a difficult and dangerous project, nobody gives a shit.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No one cares about all of the obstacles.

Hey, Degra, would you say you blame your difficulties on other people?

Because you know, when you,

I'm looking at your hand, Degra, you you don't have like either an insect claw or

an underwater flapper.

If you're going to point at someone and blame them, guess what?

You and your species of Zindi are going to have fingers pointing back at them.

Man, can you imagine the like segregationist past of the Zindi homeworld and how many fucking water fountains they must have had?

I mean, if you're underwater, Zindi, your whole world is a fountain, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah.

Those guys were sitting pretty back then.

I bet underwater Zindi were the last ones to join the group.

Like the four Zindi species, they find each other, they know each other, they're like, cool, all right.

I mean, what sucks is we're like an

even number of Zindi, so that makes voting and agreeing on things difficult.

But I mean, that's just who we are.

That's who we've got at the table.

One of them goes on vacation and goes swimming.

God damn it.

Really?

Really?

There's another?

Yeah.

And they're talking to me?

Like, they swim out to the raft and everybody's like, hey, look, Jerry made it out to the raft.

Good job, Jerry.

And he's like,

what is he saying?

He seems distressed.

He seems kind of pissed off out there.

One of them touched my leg.

And they're talking also.

That's also very disturbing.

Just swim back.

It looks like he doesn't want to get in the water.

Is there, should we get a boat?

Degra Degra is

not enjoying the dunk session that's happening at this meeting on poor Degra.

And they're like, look, if Degra can't hack it with the building or whatever, I mean, should we even deploy when he finally completes the bomb making?

I mean,

can we trust it?

I think we should consider other options at this table.

And that's the cold open.

As Spock put it in Star Trek 2009, it's logical to cultivate multiple opportunities.

Sure is.

After the theme we're in TePaul's room, she and Trip Tucker are doing another relaxation session, and she is impressed at his progress.

You've been practicing at home, haven't you, Trip?

It's another to rub and tug

session.

You can't help but say it, but

People are starting to talk, TePaul, about all these late night sessions, about me coming over in my pajamas and then leaving a couple hours later, appearing to be very relaxed.

You know the implication of that, right?

I see no reason to be concerned with idle gossip.

It doesn't bother you.

Just the chub he's got to be sporting in his off-duty sweatpants as he slinks back to his room is giving away the game, right?

Everybody's like, all right, we know what's going on here.

Do you get the sense that it is more than just Reed that's gossiping, or is it Reid only?

I need something to do on this ship, Commander.

Fair enough.

Because Reed is the example cited, but there is definitely an air of the ship's got gossips.

People are talking about us.

I'm not super comfortable with that.

Yeah.

I mean, does Trip have any friends outside of Reed is another question that I think we should probably give some consideration to.

I mean, if not, that is actually a pretty bad sign for Trip Tucker.

I love TePaul here.

She's like, I generally do not care about gossip on board the ship, and I specifically do not care about Reed's opinion on what's going on here.

So do you think we can continue?

That guy that's a lieutenant is bothering you?

Dude, remember that he's a lieutenant, right?

That guy's not worthy to lick the massage oil off our boots, much less talk shit about us behind our backs.

How about you tell Reed next time he's got some sort of quip about what we do in the evening with each other?

Have him record a log to one of his ex-girlfriends about it.

Leave us the fuck alone.

Archer is also having lousy sleep, and we see him tossing and turning in bed.

The immediate thought I had is like, can Tapal help him out too?

Or is that like too many people to be syrubbing and to tugging?

You know, normally it's the dog keeping the human awake.

In this case, it's Archer keeping Porthos awake.

Yeah.

All scratchy.

And normally it would be the dog scratching themselves.

This time it's Archer.

It is the remainder of his Cro-Mag loaf that he goes down to Six Bay and is getting like unguants to put on it.

He's still got little

lingering stuff.

And this is like days and days later.

Isn't it surprising how serialized consequences feel on Star Trek in a series where we're kind of not used to those.

I know.

I was ready for this to be something totally different.

Like, what's going on with Archer's skin?

And no,

it is stuff from last episode that is bothering Archer's skin.

Yeah.

You were transformed into a different species.

Don't expect to recover overnight.

Speaking of skin, they still need to coat the skin of the ship with Trellium D.

They've got a lead on this.

They met a chemist chemist who knows how to make it.

Synthesis of Trellium D is something that would put mines like the one that they visited out of business, but he claims to have a method and is willing to sell it to them.

Do you recall a reason why they just don't go back to that mine and kick some ass and take it?

I mean, that wet guy is there and he was kind of a pain in the butt.

They killed the boss.

Did they kill him?

Oh, yeah, that guy got shot in the face by a mako.

he's dead anyway.

Yeah, but they did have like ships that were also,

you know, like they're why not avoid the heat, I guess.

Yeah, yeah.

So, you know, Archer is like, we got to go find that chemist guy, and he's on this planet that we're going to.

But, man, all I can think about is that the city of Urquat

and

how much I would rather live there

underground with all the other low-keck.

That is another long symptom to what's happened to him.

That's going to be sticking around a while.

He's got long low-kec?

He does.

Yeah.

Yeah, so Enterprise pulls up to a very blue planet.

Yeah, it's a libertarian paradise.

A whole seasteading operation.

They send a shuttle pod down there.

And I was like thinking to myself, Flocks would love it here as the lion flies out of Trip's mouth because they're in a wet market.

It's true.

We get another bazaar set up.

They got everything.

They got animals.

They got eggs.

They got produce.

They got the hard sellers that you get at a bazaar who are not too keen about giving directions.

They are more keen on selling their wares.

Scarves.

So many scarves available in this bazaar.

Not even the chemist is interested in talking to Archer at first when they finally find him.

Yeah.

But as soon as things feel profitable conversationally,

this guy opens right up.

He knows the value of the information he's got about the Zindi.

I'd be happy to direct you for a small fee.

Good thing Trip Tucker has kind of an inventory of stuff that they can barter in exchange.

So that's good, right?

This guy's got real stoolie in a cop show energy.

Like, oh, yeah, there was some Zindi here, but I can't remember where they were going after this.

And they're like, would my friend Abraham jog your memory?

Kind of.

Right.

Everything is for sale here.

And what they're doing is going around claiming that they're on a diplomatic mission to to meet some zindi but uh yeah they're gonna need to head back to the ship to get the stuff that uh that this guy wants in exchange for the recipe it's good faith to believe

i can do

paradise

while trip is occupied with that archer and reed roll up on the guy the chemist referred them to.

This is a guy who had met the Zindi.

Yeah.

And his deal for selling slaves so infectious, did this get stuck in your head?

Come on, baby, come on, baby.

Hot girl slaves.

Come on, baby, come on, baby.

Hot girl slaves.

Have a have a look.

Hot girl slaves.

Have a have a look.

Hot girl slaves.

Very, very good.

Hot girl slaves.

Very, very good.

Hot girl slaves.

And now it's just stuck in your head.

Yeah, yeah.

This guy looks like he's straight out of Dragon Ball Z with his loaf.

He looks like he could get along with old what's her name, the Andorian.

Like

they've got some chromosomal features that, if combined, would make just a skyscraper forehead

as a child.

You're talking about a form of selective breeding.

Yes.

Eugenics, some might call it, to achieve the tallest head.

Eugenics, but good.

That's what I'm advocating for.

Oh, yeah.

For just hilarious consequences, like eight heads.

Why is nobody ever thought about this with eugenics?

It's always, it said such a bad rep because it's only ever used for bad.

Let's just make really tall foreheads for a while.

That's fun, right?

So the Zindi left two days ago, and he's not telling where they went because

he has some standards as a humanoid trafficker, I guess you would call him.

He keeps the private business of his clients private.

And he suggests to Archer, like, maybe if you bought one of these

a here slave girls, they could tell you something because they're not bound by the same professional ethics code that I, a slaver, am bound by.

It kind of makes a lot of sense.

And if I'm Archer, I got to be considering this, right?

And if I'm Reed, I'm definitely considering it.

Like, Reed's got his wallet out in this scene, I think.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I mean, Reed's wallet pops out because his pants suddenly get kind of tight around the waist and it just like doesn't have any space left in his pocket.

There's this moment where Archer says no.

No, I am not interested in buying a slave.

And yet no one says he can't window shop.

So he's having a good look at the goods.

And there's one lady up on the top shelf who has a very intense stare and it seems like she might be a problem but archer gets a phone call from trip and starts walking away walking away from such beauty how can he do it archer looks down at his iphone and it and it says uh trip and like where the business would be like

parentheses nipples

you're never gonna let that go are you because initially like uh it's hard to learn everyone's name on the crew you need you need a description also for how you know them right many many contacts in my phone are like this how do i know this person

i uh i i used to live on uh bedford avenue in brooklyn and uh i was ben bedford in my wife's phone for a decade and i'm not that anymore and i kind of wish i still was Then that name was turned into Ben Bed Me.

And then now it's more like Ben no more bedding.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

It's Ben sleeps in a separate bed.

That's what it is now.

Ben, get out of bed and check on the kids.

So, yeah, they're going to meet back at the shuttle so that they can go up and get all the stuff that they're trading for the recipe.

He goes to recipes.

And one of these slaves.

that Frieza is selling makes a run for it.

And I guess they don't have any any like ankle shackles or

you know restraining bolts or anything on these slave girls.

I mean this is on Zajad, isn't it?

You gotta chain them up.

Gotta chain them up.

You see this in science fiction all the time.

Like you think Leia is gonna stick around with Jabba if she's not chained up.

I mean like also that was on Jabba like don't give Leia that much slack in her chain, you know?

Like don't give her enough chain that it can go around your neck.

I know, I know.

And this guy, you know, similar mistake, similar but worse mistake, I would say.

I mean, the longest leash is no chain at all, isn't it?

So many marmots get disturbed in the Star Trek fight because she makes a run for it.

Take me with you, please.

And now Archer has to defend her from her seller.

And they're knocking over cages of these local delicacies/slash delightful pets that everybody's selling.

Great fight.

So much fun.

Lots of stuff getting knocked over.

Scarf getting repurposed as a garret.

Yeah, big fun.

Yeah.

Big fun.

They kick this guy's ass, and they're out of there.

Their next scene is in Six Bay, and even Flox is not immune to her appeal.

He's hitting on her, telling her how much he likes her eyes, and she introduces herself as Rajine, and she will serve Archer well.

Do you think it's easy for doctors to flirt in general because you can always blame it on being clinical?

Like, I couldn't help but notice

your pupillary dilation from across the bar.

It seems like you may be inebriated or whatever.

Like, like a doctor can say things and has a reason to engage that you could just play off as, oh no, it's just, I'm a doctor.

That's why I was saying saying that.

The first time I ever saw boobs in a movie was my parents rented the film Doc Hollywood.

Love Doc Hollywood.

Not specifically for that, but I like that movie.

They did not know there were going to be boobs in this movie.

And I was, you know, probably like 10 or something when Topless Lady comes out of

the lake that she's been swimming in.

And Michael J.

Fox invokes his status as a doctor to say, like, hey, don't worry about being topless around me.

I've seen it all.

I'm a doctor.

I mean, it was Julie Warner.

Yeah.

And there was a time for Julie Warner.

I just want to say that.

Oh, I fully believe it.

I have not re-watched that movie since the incredibly awkward experience of seeing it as a 10-year-old, you know, sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of

my parents in the TV room.

Like, I think that it is such a perfectly horny moment in my memory of the film that I don't want to ruin it by like actually watching it now and seeing if it holds up.

Because you still use it from time to time as a memory?

All the time.

To maybe like get yourself over the top when needed.

Yeah.

Imagine I was a doctor and I was saying, you should not feel the need to cover yourself in front of me, for I can be trusted with the knowledge of what them tites look like.

It's not the scene, but the moment, though, that you use.

It is you very specifically with your parents watching this movie.

Yeah.

Why did you just say your mom and dad are sitting behind you on a couch?

Sorry,

the moment just kind of got away from me.

Why, when you're about to bust, do you keep saying, let's rewind that part?

Let's rewind that part.

Let's rewind that part.

When Archer walks in, he also likes her eyes in a different way.

And anyway, this lady's name is Rajeen, and she's very thankful for being out of that hellhole.

Yeah.

She thinks she's been purchased, and she's ready to work.

Yeah, yeah.

They're like, oh, yeah, like, you don't have to do that.

We're going to take you back to a Rometku, the homeworld of your species.

And she's like, I'm told it's called Aronticu, but I don't know her.

You remember that sketch, Wong and Owen, ex-porn stars from like 90s SNL?

Not ringing a bell.

Like the conceit of it is, like, ex-porn stars try to get square jobs to like work in an office.

But like, obviously things get unintentionally sexualized.

And as soon as they're called out on their porn star bullshit, they make you feel bad for them because they're like, it's all I know.

It's all I know.

And that's kind of the regine energy here, which is like, she's ready to thank Archer for saving her because it's all she knows.

Right.

She only only has one lever she can pull in life to make the situation better for herself.

And she is not familiar with the idea of somebody that isn't just using her for what she looks like.

So there are a number of times when this creates misunderstandings between her and her captors, or what they are interpreting as misunderstandings.

And I've got faith

of the far heart, legally just a virtue.

Back on the Libertarian Paradise planet where everyone is seasteading, Tripp has brought a Halliburton briefcase full of what we are going to assume is going to be

bands for this chemist.

And when we open it up, it's not bands.

It's a bunch of like McCormick spices in jars.

Yeah.

This is very exciting to him, especially as Tripp kind of

sweetens the pot going going like we used to fight wars over these things on our home world

now we kicked all the asses of the people that that cultivate them and they just kind of send them to us we don't have to fight wars anymore it's just part of global capitalism kind of kind of subsumed into uh an economy that extracts from the global south and enriches the global north and the guy's like i don't know about any of that anyways really excited about huffing pepper

This is great.

And his nostrils are up near his eyes.

Yeah.

That's just going to make an eye-watering situation, isn't it?

I thought for sure this guy was going to wind up having some horrible sickness just given how irritated his nostrils looked.

You know?

There's a lot of redness and puffiness around those nostrils.

Spice Melange, not one of the spices traded in exchange for the Trellium.

No.

This guy's never going to become a level three guilt navigator, huffing black pepper.

There is sort of a gremlin-style warning to the liquid Trellium exchange.

The chemist is like, look, it's a liquid now because that's how it's made.

You need to take this recipe and turn it into the ship insulation that you need it for.

But here's the thing.

This stuff is explosive.

So be careful.

It's real explosive.

And as they leave, it becomes clear that this guy is kind of like a Sneeze Maxer.

Literally, he paid for these spices with this priceless synthesis of Trellium D recipe so that he could get the giggles because he had a sneeze.

Is this a sex thing?

I'm not familiar with that word or with that term.

Oh, I mean, I don't know.

Like, I've definitely seen a toddler do it, like, think having sneezed is a very funny thing to do.

Oh, weird.

Yeah, I don't know.

The French call it the little death sneezing, right?

He does the cinnamon challenge on himself.

Basically.

That's tough.

Don't love that.

On Enterprise, Archer has chosen to have dinner with Ragine.

And we know this isn't a date because whenever you choose to have a salad where the leaves are enormous and then there's that big wafer of parmesan crisp in the middle, that's not a date because that's not food that you can cleanly eat in front of a potential romantic partner.

It's like the shoestring fries of salads, you know, it's like there's only embarrassing ways to eat it, you know.

What's wrong with shoestring fries?

They're just very hard to eat in a non-embarrassing way.

Like I'm not going to eat one at a time like a fucking asshole.

Go on.

I'm thinking about all the times I've had and enjoyed shoestring fries.

You're just grabbing some fries and you're eating them.

Right, but like the bird nest that you get is hard to eat gracefully.

You got to choose a small small nest.

There's no way to choose a small nest.

You got to be strategic.

You can't just have the fully loaded shoestring fries.

I would much rather have big leaf salad with Parmesan wedge on a date than shoestring fries on a date.

I think that's madness.

I can't get on that level.

Anyway, I'm surprised that they're together enjoying a meal,

but I think the saladness of the moment deromanticizes what this is.

Sure.

And further deromanticizing it is when he starts to pump her, not for his own pleasure, but for intel on the Zindi.

And she describes these reptilian ones that came to the slave girl market and how she was kind of relieved not to be purchased by them because, ye.

And that's kind of like as much as she thinks she knows about these guys.

She's like, you're never going to believe the

little sea monster, Zindy.

Like, I could describe them to you.

You're just not going to,

you're just going to have to see them to believe them.

All right, Archer?

Yeah.

Trust me.

I mean, like, just thank your lucky stars that you don't see them first by swimming out to the raft.

You know?

I mean, I will say, as a sex slave, the one advantage to the underwater Zindy is that they can hold their breath a very long time.

Archer is like, you're kind of a cool sex worker.

You're like, you're kind of pretty womaning me right now with this Riz, aren't you?

Yeah.

Let me give you a tip.

I'm a sure thing.

Okay, so I'm on an hourly rate.

Are we just moving along?

It's getting steamy in there with the Riz, and Tripp kind of dumps a bucket of ice water on that by radioing up about his synthesis project.

Where do you think they are for this dinner?

Are they in the captain's mess?

I thought so, yeah.

I thought so too, but I wasn't sure, which is what made him just leaving her alone there.

Something felt off about that, and it made me suspicious of her in a way where we're meant to feel suspicious.

Yeah, because he's described like there are a couple of parts of the ship that you can't go, but you can basically go anywhere.

Like, we're going to treat you as an honored guest.

How much trouble can she get into in the dining room?

Yeah, with a neckline plunging like that, you know, probably not much.

Yeah.

So yeah, they've basically set up like a meth lab in like a part of the ship that's designed to be like a place where they can they can bug out for cosmic radiation or whatever because it's like it's tough, it can handle a boom.

It's kind of where you'd want your apartment if you were staying on Enterprise.

Yeah, it kind of seems like the best spot.

Yeah, if you wanted an apartment that's like a ramshackle shed on the outskirts of town that, you know, not a lot of people are going to ask questions about.

It's the cheapest cabin on the Star Trek cruise, Windowless,

deep in the middle.

Bump your head on the ceiling.

That's where the expert Shimoda team will be if we ever get onto a Star Trek cruise.

Yeah.

Like the Underwaters India, I'm not holding my breath.

Yeah.

So this lab is set up between two emergency bulkheads for safety.

But that night in Archer's quarters, Regine shows up wearing a dress that makes Archer think that some emergency bulkhead might be on order.

Yeah?

Yeah, yeah.

That's what we do on this show.

He's trying to remember if he packed his dome cloak or not.

Right.

I love how in order to desexualize the moment Archer starts talking, he knows that's what he has to do to make this less like that.

Yeah.

And she wants to sex him up.

She's like, you know, like, you don't have to feel like I'm doing this this for slavery reasons.

I'm doing it because I really appreciate you helping me out and taking me to my home planet or whatever.

Like, I don't know anybody there.

I don't necessarily want to go there, but you got me out of a bad situation.

Listen,

I was in sex slavery for a reason.

I can really do some amazing shit.

You're not going to believe it.

I'm the hand job queen of the galaxy.

I have certain gifts

would you like me to show you?

She starts kind of hoverhanding him, and her hoverhands make his birdie

see-through.

Yeah.

We get to see everything in this episode.

This looks fairly pleasurable for Archer to be experiencing.

Does.

The weird part about this scene, and it's the only moment this happens.

Because she does this to some other people on the crew later on.

Yeah.

There's sort of a time jump where it feels like Archer might have been slipped a Mickey.

Like, he snaps out of it and he's like, Did that really happen?

And they're like further apart than he thought they were.

Yeah.

And she's like, You good?

And he's like, What?

Huh?

What?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm good.

Why are you asking?

Yeah, like we're having a lot of fun together, right?

Legally, it's just a far jump.

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Friends of DeSoto, we survived Star Trek Las Vegas 2025.

All seven days of it.

And boy, oh boy, do we have thoughts?

So many thoughts that we just had to record a very special bonus episode about our experiences with me and Ben, but also producer Wendy and our social media consigliary Bill.

You'll get an honest review of things, all the gossip, the stuff that worked, the stuff that didn't, and some big takeaways as we plan for next year.

So if you want to know what STLV was really like, the bonus feed is how you find it.

By the way, this bonus episode, like all of our monthly bonus episodes, are available to everyone who supports the shows at maximumfund.org slash join.

It's easy to do, so go to maximumfund.org slash join to get our special episode about STLV 2025 and all the great episodes that we put out every month.

You know, we've been doing My Brother, My Brother, Me for 15 years.

And

maybe you stopped listening for a while.

Maybe you never listened.

And you're probably assuming three white guys talking for 15 years.

I know where this has ended up.

But no, no, you would be wrong.

We're as shocked as you are that we have not fallen into some sort of horrific scandal or just turned into a big crypto thing.

Yeah, you don't even really know how crypto works.

The only NFTs I'm into are naughty, funny things, which is what we talk about on My Brother, My Brother, and Me.

We serve it up every Monday for you if you're listening.

And if not, we just leave it out back and goes rotten.

So check it out on Maximum Fun or wherever you get your podcasts.

All right, we're over 70 episodes into our show.

Let's learn everything.

So let's do a quick progress check.

Have we learned about quantum physics?

Yes, episode 59.

We haven't learned about the history of gossip yet, have we?

Yes, we have.

Same episode, actually.

Have we talked to Tom Scott about his love of roller coasters?

Episode 64.

So, how close are we to learning everything?

Bad news.

We still haven't learned everything yet.

Oh, we're ruined.

No, no, no.

It's good news as well.

There is still a lot to learn.

Woo!

I'm Dr.

Ella Hubber.

I'm regular Tom Long.

I'm Caroline Roper, and on Let's Learn Everything, we learn about science and a bit of everything else too.

And although we haven't learned everything yet, I've got a pretty good feeling about this next episode.

Join us every other Thursday on Maximum Fun.

You will never take the greatest shit alive.

Ben would rather die.

Rather die.

What?

We cut over to the Trillium Trap House where Trip and TePaul are cooking things up.

And things are feeling dangerous because they can't get on top of this temperature spike.

Stuff's getting out of control.

And some alarms start going off.

And do they need to evacuate?

TePaul asks.

Trip's like, no.

Tepal's like, really?

Because we could evacuate right now.

Yeah.

I did like that they started the scene with a kind of shaky cam shot of a sign that said Trellium D synthesis facility.

Yeah.

And, you know, all of Trip's ideas for how to fix it are like, grabby that, you know, elastic band from that table over there.

Big fun.

And DePaul keeps saying how much time they have left.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The third time TePaul suggests evacuation, Trip finally gets the message.

And like, as the door meets the jam, this thing blows big.

Yeah.

They're going to need to take a break because

this was an explosion that set them back.

Like, they're going to have to rebuild the lab, basically, to try again.

What isn't said is like, they need housekeeping to reset the lab in there.

Like, why don't we give them some time?

Trip is like, let's get right back into it.

And TePaul is like, let's take a nap.

And by nap, I mean, I give you a rub down.

Yeah.

I prefer you arrested before we make another attempt.

Elsewhere at the Transporter, Regine has been looking around, as she was invited to do by Archer,

where she is spotted by Hoshi, who isn't upset to see a stranger near a sensitive piece of ship equipment, but isn't...

isn't upset either.

There's kind of a real official.

she's not a jerk about it, but she's like, hey, what are you doing here?

By the transporter.

And then she gets a special handshake from Regine, which changes things between them from a, what are you doing here?

to a

what could we be doing here kind of vibe yeah hoshi is delighted to learn that regine is a bit of a linguist herself and uh you know a couple of ladies adept in linguistics

can have a lot of fun together, you know?

I'd love to hear your language.

Actually, I speak quite a few.

Cut over to Tepal's quarters where Regine has been waiting for her.

Creepy moment.

Kind of a horror movie blocking of Regine appearing.

And guess what?

Tapala is going to get a special hand job, too.

Because it's like, like, how much time has elapsed between those two moments is like hard to know, right?

Like, she's working fast.

Yeah.

And Regine is very curious about what kind of finger stuff Vulcans are capable of.

And this is like sort of the stuff of legend in Star Trek.

Kind of felt to me like TePaul was going to get a nosebleed from this kind of hand job.

We've seen it before in Star Trek.

Yeah.

But even TePaul's disciplined mind is putty in Regine's hands.

If you're Trip Tucker, how long are you waiting outside ringing the doorbell for the agreed upon massage session?

Yeah.

It seems like he's out there kind of a long time.

Yeah, he's like, like, we cut to him in the hallway ringing the bell, and then we cut to Regine and Tapal, like, inflating a, you know, miniature inflatable pool, and then, like, pouring some, some soil, and, you know, getting out the hose and filling it with water.

And then, like, starting their mud wrestling match.

And then, you know, we keep cutting back to the hallway where Tripp's like, I don't know what's going on in there and keeps ringing the bell sometimes tapal likes to take a pre-massage dump

yeah well i better leave her to it the mud wrestle finally gets interrupted when trip comes in and uh finds a ko'd tapaul and he's like standing over her unconscious birdie when uh regen drops a uh like a breakaway vase over his head what do you make of Tapal's body on the ground after having fought with Regine?

This seems too posed.

Yeah.

And it's because she's beautiful.

Like we're going to set her down in kind of an angelic corpse pose kind of way.

But like she should be in a heap.

She's not in a heap.

She's in Shavasana.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We learn at this point that Regine is in cahoots with someone because she starts getting on a little transmitter and radioing with some guy.

And it becomes clear that all of the stuff about, like, oh, I want to like repay you the favor of getting me out of slavery or whatever was entirely a put-on.

Regine has been has been working them from jump.

Sex workers got game.

So does the security dude who gets the magic fingers when he tries to challenge her?

This guy stood no chance.

The captain would like to see you.

There's no need to

bother the captain.

He had nothing to defend himself from what she is working with.

I mean, he had a phaser, which Regine takes, and that's crucial because she starts wielding this thing at any security person who comes after her.

Yeah, and like at this point, like it's gone out ship-wide that she needs to be caught.

And so like groups of makos and security people are running around chasing her.

This gets her into engineering, where at one point she does like a pretty awesome John Wu, like flinging herself over railing and falling down a story while shooting action move.

Yeah, Mike Wehar clearly has watched a lot of Chaoyun Fat films because this is right out of that for sure.

Pretty great moment.

I mean, this is the sort of stunt that involves the mats.

You break out the mats for this one.

Yeah.

They've got those on the Paramount lot, you know?

So she gets to the Transporter when finally Archer and a couple of red shirts catch her.

And Archer is like so hurt that this was all put on.

He shows up at the strip club and he's like, babe,

you told me you loved me.

And she's like, it's not like that, man.

That's like the job.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He is very hurt.

Here's a question I had.

When he tells security to drag her away to the brig, why didn't he put a pair of welding gloves on her her hands or something?

Because what is stopping her from giving hand jobs all the way to the brig?

The red shirts that took her did not look like, you know, guys

who could resist her charms.

And he didn't like brief them on what she's capable of or anything.

Nope.

That's bad.

Like I think you need 12 people to take this perp to the brig.

I think so too.

I think it's bad.

You know what you need is like all of the gay dudes on the ship and all of the straight women on the ship to get together and take her to the brig.

You know?

Only people that are completely immune to her charms.

I think you could argue that no one's immune, Ben.

Wow.

I think a great hand job overrides gender preference.

In this case, she is just like the skilled practitioner on the other side of the glory hull, and you don't really care what her pronouns are.

A hand is a hand.

Hands are just hands.

Somehow these guys are entrusted to take her to the brig and we learn from Phlox that Tepalb would be dead if she were human or denobulin.

It's only her extremely rugged Vulcan physiology that saved her from the super hand job she received.

And she's not going to be back in action for a few hours.

This is a new archer.

This is season three archer, which is why, when he's told by a medical professional that Tapal will be down for the count while he can administer to her injuries, he's like, Can I talk to her?

Can you wake her up so I can talk to her?

I gotta ask her some stuff.

He would never do that in season two.

Yeah, no, I won't cease or desist,

cause you really think it's

So he goes down instead to talk to Regine in jail.

He's like, who was that on the other end of the line when you were talking on your little, on your little flip phone there?

And she won't tell him.

Is that your boyfriend?

Yeah.

Or something?

Like, who was that guy?

Are you guys serious?

Or like, what?

Like, what does he mean to you?

Because I thought what we had was special.

What we did with your hands and my head, you know?

Like, that didn't mean anything to you?

How is that possible?

possible?

She has no answers for him to any of his questions.

I asked you a question.

I can't answer it.

She's just like, you are Ralph Wiggum in the back of the bus, man.

You're in danger.

And that's all she'll tell you.

That's all I can say.

If I tell you anymore, they'll kill me.

The one thing she says, which got a laugh out of me, a real laugh, which was like, all I can tell you is, you should let me go, which is such a fucking Peewee's big adventure suggestion.

Why would he in a million years do that?

Yeah.

Maybe the they she keeps talking about is the two Zindi reptilian craft coming up behind the entrepreneur who are now shooting at the ship and bangers are getting dropped while Archer is looking through the reinforced glass into the brig.

We learn that they're here for her.

She says, listen, like, they're not going to hurt anybody if you just let me go.

And he's pretty hard in this moment.

He's like, there's 7 million deads back on my homeworld.

Why the fuck do you think I would think twice about killing you?

Ben, somehow, magically, you've been given the command of a Federation starship.

Try to imagine bangers have been dropped on your ship while you're in the brig talking to a prisoner.

Can you think of any circumstance why you would not return to the bridge immediately as those bangers drop.

Like, they're feeling them in the brig.

Archer gets a message from Mayweather about these ships.

Yeah.

Archer chooses to stay in the brig.

This blew me away.

It was a good choice by him because I think she's realizing that these bangers threaten her as much as anybody else.

Yeah, and to stay near her means to solve the mystery of who these guys are because they're clearly after her.

Get the information that she was guarding before.

So she's like, okay, like they wanted to make a bioweapon, but they don't know enough about your physiology to do it.

And I can scan with my hands, baby.

Like, that's what I was doing to you guys:

was getting the information that they need for this bioweapon.

And like, that's, that's really all I know.

And as she is explaining this, we learn that one of the Zindi craft is coming up alongside and is going to like forcibly dock with the entrepreneur.

And

seemed a little silly to me.

Like, can anyone really force you to dock with them?

Like, couldn't they just roll away the second they get close?

I think that's why you don't see the exterior shot of this being attempted.

Yeah.

Because it doesn't really make a lot of sense.

They station a bunch of makos in the corridors, you know, preparing to defend the ship from the boarding parties.

But three makos is not enough guys, you know?

You need a lot of guys because the reptilians are sending a lot of guys.

Yeah, by the time we learn how many, Reed tells Archer that three boarding parties have been let in and they are just laying waste to the few makos that have been sent to go get them.

It's not working.

How many fucking makos do we have?

Like, what are they all on break?

Like, send them to defend the ship.

They're all sitting in the mess hall at Hoshi's table.

So Reed and Archer split up, and they each take a couple of makos with them.

And I don't know about you, Ben.

I was shocked that there was an Insecto Zindi involved because we were told that these were lizard style Zindi

doing the boarding.

There were lizos and insectos

and like some cool weapons.

Like one of them shoots like goo against a wall and then the goo has like thorns or

I don't know.

I couldn't tell if they were like an energy.

burst or a burst of thorns, but those knock down a bunch of makos.

When you see this weapon specifically deployed, you got to think that the Makos don't stand a chance, right?

Yeah.

This is just too good.

The Zindi bust into the brig, and they've got Regine.

It looks like they use a hacked Thermoworks thermometer

that they place on the thing.

Did you notice that?

This is not branded content, but I love myself a ThermoWorks thermometer.

I have several products from the Thermoworks company.

I've spent hundreds of dollars on various Thermoworks things over the years.

I'm a total slut for that stuff.

They're the best.

Yeah.

Like, there's this moment where they're, like, using Regine as a hostage as they move back through the ship to get out.

And Archer is like, oh, I can't shoot because Regine is in between me and the bad guy.

Shut up, Archer.

She's a bad guy, too.

I never got the feeling that he was unwilling to fire because she was around.

I never ever thought that.

Oh, he totally like has his gun and then like goes like, oh, no, like she's right there.

You got to shoot the hostage.

She's not a hostage.

She's a bad guy.

Babe, babe, I love you.

Don't go with them.

What are you doing?

Like, the Zindy are the actual boyfriend in the cool car picking her up from the strip club.

What chance does Archer have?

He doesn't have trans am energy.

Yeah.

The MX01 is not a T-top.

No.

No, and this scene plays out over and over again, like she's just out of reach from him.

Doors are just closing between them.

Yeah.

You got to shoot.

But they get away with her, and they disappear into invisibility.

And this looked a lot like going into the cloaking field around that sphere.

Sure did.

But it is described as a vortex, and they can't track the Zindi after this.

And they got like one of these guys.

So they have a Zindi body on the slab in 6 Bay.

And they're like, what can we find out from this guy?

Like, can you wake him up?

Unfortunately, he had like a cyanide capsule gland in his body that's described as having been surgically installed.

We used to encounter this all the time on our Hit War movie podcast.

And I don't know if I ever said it on that show.

I'm going to say it right here.

I think I'd love one of these.

I'd love to have one as an option.

The false tooth that will take you out if you crunch on it the wrong way.

Yeah, like someone shoves me off of a building,

bite, crunch.

Yeah, at least it's on your own terms.

This plane's going down.

Oh man, the masks have come down.

Oh, there's smoke and there's fire.

Crunch.

Yeah.

And then, like, you land in the Hudson and everybody's like, we all made it.

Hey, what happened to 16F?

He doesn't look so good.

Hey, hey, 16F, time to go.

Let's get out on the wing.

This is the Romeo and Juliet-style dramatic irony that would end an Adam Pranica.

I want to go out as a story.

I think that would fit.

Yeah.

Archer is like, okay, like, we have actually had an interaction with Zindi at this point, and there is some intel to be gotten.

you know, just by the fact that we have this body here and the fact that we like saw what their ships look like or whatever.

So like, let's let's at least you know, make some lemonade out of the out of the lemons of this.

And we cut back to the Zindi Legion of Doom, where Degra and the rest are pretty pissed off at what the Lizardman and the Bugman have pulled here.

God, Degra's got to be so relieved to not be in the crosshairs of this roundtable meeting.

He's like, See, finally, it is not Degra's bad thing.

Yeah, hey, check it out, not Degra's fault.

Hashtag not Degra's fault.

Hashtag not all Degra's.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hey, you guys fucked up, but not me.

Not Degra.

No way.

They bring in Rajine and they're like, you know, Degra and the rest of you, you may be mad at us, but look at what Rajine got.

And she puts her hand on the table and we get like a hologram showing the internal organ structure of human anatomy.

And we learn that now a bioweapon is possible to create.

And the underwater guys are like, great.

Like, okay, let's do big planet killing sphere and bioweapon.

Let's do both, you know?

Porque no los dos.

We'll have crunchy tacos and soft tacos tonight.

Degra's like, what?

I mean,

I thought it was all good with Degra now.

What about Degra's plan?

Degra chopped liver?

Degra's good now, right?

No?

Oh, this is terrible.

And Rajeen here, to her credit, she's like, you know, actually, guys, humans are sort of complicated.

And by the way, I've got stuff to tell you about them.

But she's dragged away before she can finish.

As though back to jail.

Like,

she has entirely fucked herself by not working with the humans.

Like, the Zindi are treating her the way a slave would be treated and not the way a free person would be treated.

So maybe the Zindi are all bad.

Unclear.

Okay, you're going to defend the Zindi after this?

I think I am.

We're pursuing two species-killing weapons at the same time, and Adam Pranika is like, hey, you know what?

Some genocides are fine.

Ben, you must remember they are doing this as a reaction.

As revenge, as Rwenge

for their own homeworld being destroyed.

But it's like pre-revenge, right?

It's like, it's like prophylactic revenge.

Yeah.

Pre-revenge is still genocide in this context, I guess.

Did you like this episode, Ben?

I can't pay.

I did like this episode.

I think that

Star Trek has explored the idea of Irresistible Babe many times, but this one felt different and better than your, you know, Famka Jansen episodes and your,

I didn't think you were so into blondes, Ben.

Go on.

What was the lady, the lady from TOS that wanted to eat all the salt,

you know,

because Regine

is much more than that would imply, you know, she's actually like

working on her own capacity.

She seems more capable than Padma or Famka were in their characters on Star Trek.

Like, she's a spy.

She's a sex slave and a spy.

And

that makes her interesting and dangerous in a very different way from the examples that we've seen before.

Right.

And it's like, I think it's interesting that it's...

still a little unclear whether her cover

is sex slave or if she actually like was that at some point

you know like and and then like recruited by the zindi i think that the like ambiguity of did she have a real opportunity to free herself that she didn't recognize for what it was

is

kind of

part of what makes this episode so interesting to me there's that moment in the cell where

she tells archer some version of yeah, you're a good man.

You're just a dumb man.

Like, you did the right thing.

Your instinct to save me from slavery

was something that a good person does, even though I outsmarted you at every turn.

Like, you should at least know that, as if that's a sort of gift that she's giving that seems...

related to what she tries to do at the very end when she tries to warn the group about how complicated humans are.

Like, does that represent any sort of regret in your mind for what she's doing?

Or is her warning about humans actually to help?

Like, hey, hey, Degra, you especially, like,

watch out when you're building this bomb, because humans are squirrely.

Yeah.

I don't know what her point is there yet, and maybe we'll learn.

A pretty compelling episode.

Do you want to see if there's anything compelling in the Priority One inbox?

Oh yeah.

I would love that.

Very much.

Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on secured channel.

Need a supplemental income.

Supplemental income.

Supplemental.

Supplemental.

Yeah, it's extra.

But the interest alone could be enough to buy this ship.

Adam, got some priority one messages here.

The first one is of a promotional nature.

It goes like this.

Friends of DeSoto, what our theory presupposes is, if you have one embarrassing interest, perhaps you have another.

Perhaps science-themed board games like Wingspan or Terraforming Mars?

Hosts Jason, Brian, and expert guests sit down once a month to discuss the science behind your favorite board games.

You're required to learn as you play.

Roll.

So check out the Gaming with Science podcast at gamingwithscience.net or wherever fine podcasts are found.

Have fun playing dice with the universe.

That's from the Gaming with Science podcast.

Do you really want to know what's going on in your board game?

The Gaming with Science podcast will teach you.

GamingWithScience.net is where you go to get this podcast, along with wherever most people get podcasts, which is everywhere.

I'm psyched about this.

I love these nerdy board games.

I love every time I get invited to play one with somebody that knows what they're doing.

I never know what I'm doing when I sit down to one of these things, but I bet a good chunk of our audience will find this delightful and of particular interest.

Yeah, good luck getting the greatest gen bump.

Bum, bump, bump.

Gaming with science podcast.

Go get it.

Ben, we got a priority one message here from Jason.

It is to rejoice in the defeat of that hard.

Okay.

I'm reading it verbatim.

That's what it says.

To rejoice in the defeat of that hard.

Here's that message.

Four days before she, who is my wife, had arterone,

we found my kidney cancer.

Whoa, her surgery was followed by mine.

Hard times.

Jeez.

And in parentheses, Canadian, so not bankrupt.

To rejoice in the defeat of hard times, I request a skit.

Adam in the role of Kevin.

Ben in the role of real doll Ben.

Scenario: Kevin accidentally creates a real doll of Ben.

Implication?

Ben is canon?

I'm in the real doll lab just having a drink talking to myself.

I've made a million real dolls before.

This is easy.

Whoops.

I spilled some of my real doll ingredients in an ashtray.

Did you say ass tray?

Real doll Ben, what are you doing here?

Oh, you know me.

I'll walk into any room once.

Who are you?

You got a funny sibilance in your S's.

Has anybody ever pointed that out to you?

Why does it smell like latex?

You are way too chatty.

Into the fires you go.

Oh, off I go.

And then the sound of

200 pounds of latex and foam being melted.

And scene.

Wow.

Well, hey, hey, let us all rejoice in the defeat of that hard.

And I hope that cancer's in remission.

Yeah.

And your Darone is doing great.

And she, who is your wife, is doing great.

I hope that as well.

And I hope if you have a priority one message, you go to maximumfund.org slash jumbotron, write up some words, leave the rest to us.

And know that doing so goes a long way in supporting the production of these shows.

Hey, Adam.

What's that, Ben?

Did you find yourself a drunk Shimoda?

Incredible.

Drunk Shimoda!

I can't decide whether Archer is just kind of a dupe and a mark

or not.

And it makes him kind of a good Shimoda for this purpose.

Like, he's projecting hardcore vibes, hardcore captain vibes, season three Archer vibes, as we've called them.

And yet he was taken advantage of.

His kindness

twisted.

She got the drop on him.

No question about it.

He sure did.

Yeah, I'm going to make Archer my drunk Shimoda.

How about you?

I think that the specific moment, which I clocked and maybe erroneously clocked, since it didn't play the same way for you, but that moment where the Zindi are treating her as a...

hostage that they're using as a human shield.

My very name is racist.

And Archer hesitates to shoot.

Like, you got to be season three, Archer, about this, Archer.

Yeah, that was season one and season two, Archer creeping in.

Yeah, so for that moment, Archer is also my drunk shaman.

Good call.

Faith of the fart.

Well, Adam, let's talk about next week's episode.

It's season three, episode five.

It's called Impulse.

When Enterprise responds to a distress call from a Vulcan ship stranded in the Delphic Expanse, Archer and his boarding team are attacked attacked by insane, zombie-like Vulcans.

And, you know, like, I think it's pretty toxic to use ableist terminology, like insane, you know, like they

are going through something mental health-wise, but like, let's just admit that part of that is their presence here in the Delphic Expanse.

It's not a permanent

element of their personalities.

They are not bad Vulcans just because they have this disease.

It almost goes without saying.

To see see how we will be reviewing this episode, I'm going to go ahead and roll our hundred-sided die on the game of buttholes,

the Will of the Riker Quantum Leap, which is at gach.biz slash game.

We're on square 29 right now, Adam.

See where this shuttle pod takes us.

You're required to learn as you play.

Roll.

I've rolled a 58.

Tula.

Did I win?

Hardly.

Jumping us way up to square 87, doorstep of a temporal Cold War episode.

Ooh, that would have been fun.

Fuck that.

This is a regular episode for us, and that's what I'm looking forward to.

Regular episodes are good.

They're good now.

Yeah, we like them.

We like them now.

They don't suck, actually.

Also like what Wendy Pretty does as the producer of our show.

Making the show great and funnier, even funnier than we could do on our own.

That's what her editorial choices do.

They sure do.

We really appreciate all of the folks who go to maximumfund.org slash join and become members of this here production.

It means the world to us.

Yeah, what's that mean?

It means you support the show financially, month to month.

And that really matters.

Yeah.

When doing this is your full-time job.

And you get bonus content for your trouble.

That's great.

Go get yourself signed up.

What do you do?

Yeah.

Maximumfund.org slash join.

We got to thank Rob Adler, our social media director.

Follow the at greatest track accounts and sign up for our mailing list.

I think you can sign up at podshop.biz.

That's easy to find.

Yeah, do it there.

Get yourself some merch while you're there.

We got to thank Bill Tilly, our Zindy wartime consigliary,

making hilarious trading cards, sharing those on the at greatest track accounts.

Tasting our food

for it's given to us.

Got to thank Adam Ragusia, who made our original parody version of the theme song to Enterprise, based on Diane Warren's original.

The Goose, our co-host on the Wholesome podcast at patreon.com slash wholesome underscore pod.

Best in the biz.

With that, we will be back at you next time in another great episode of Star Trek Enterprise and an episode of The Greatest Generation Enterprise, where Adam and Ben are in perfect mental health.

So it makes the show so good.

Yeah.

People really love that about us.

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