It’s All Sphere in Here (ENT S3E23)

Here's to the finest crew in Starlink.

When it comes to my crew, you won't get any argument from me.

This is a parody.

Paramount owns the sun.

Welcome to the Greatest Generation.

It's a Star Trek podcast.

By a couple of guys, just a little bit embarrassed about having a Star Trek podcast.

I'm Adam Franica.

I'm Ben Harrison.

Correct me if I'm wrong, Adam.

Did I detect a little slur?

As you said that?

I'm not the one who had five shots about an hour ago, dude.

No, that wasn't me.

Still feeling a little bit of congestion.

Yeah.

Still on a bunch of decongestants.

Yeah.

Not fit to drive a vehicle, that's for sure.

Yeah, I wouldn't get in the passenger seat next to you for love or money right now.

And you wouldn't with me.

You know what sucks, man?

Hmm.

Not to put this in time,

but I have tickets to Nine Inch nails Nails tonight oh man a show i've been looking forward to for months yeah months and months maybe six months ago i bought them yeah

i am unable to dedicate my my body and mind to that show i don't think i can go i don't think i can do it can you sell the ticks i've been trying all day oh man all day i've been trying what the fuck no buyers no buyers you want to know why there are no buyers tickets to go to big shows like this are fucking expensive.

Yeah.

I get it.

It sucks.

Your friend and mine, Jace, proprietor of the beloved Friday Guy I'm in love restaurant in Portland, Oregon.

One of the greats.

Started as a cart, but it's expanded into a brick and mortar empire.

Legally, all restaurants in Portland have to start as carts.

Yeah.

They actually shoot you if you don't start a restaurant in a cart in Portland, which is why the population is so low.

It could be like Manhattan there, but it's a manageable city because of the kind of horrific Hunger Game style restaurant laws they have there.

But

what it yields is one of the best breakfast sandwiches I've ever had.

It is.

As made by our friend Chase.

He invited me to go see Oasis in LA.

And I couldn't do it because I just couldn't swing the ticket price.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Concerts are expensive.

Live entertainment is expensive.

Live entertainment is so expensive.

Like, and if you got to get a fucking babysitter on top of that, give me a break.

Yeah.

Well, yeah, why do you think we haven't been on tour the last couple years?

We're giving everybody time to replenish their babysitter war chest so that they can come see us.

Save up their nickels and dimes to come see us when we finally go back out.

That's considerate, right?

I want to tour Star Trek VI, Adam.

I think that that's going to be a popular one with the Fredza DeSoto.

I don't.

I want to put it off still.

I want to do a Share Your Embarrassment tour.

I think there's something to that.

We did a Share Your Embarrassment tour.

No, but I mean, that is just Share Your Embarrassment.

Like, that's just comedy.

That's just Star Trek comedy.

Wow.

Like, with no movie.

What it's like to be a nerd and embarrassed.

I think there could be something with that.

There could be something with that.

Maybe we have guests, like celebrity guests at the different tour stops.

Maybe we're reading different city-specific embarrassing stories.

That's interesting.

Depending on where we go.

It's a new show every night.

New show every night is an interesting concept.

Any change in your status as a sickman last episode to this one?

I mean, for the friends of DeSoto, an entire week has elapsed.

It's true.

But for you and I,

mere dozens of minutes.

Now I'm into my second Stanley insulated mug of throat coat.

I don't know how much of this you're supposed to drink or not, but it really got me through the last episode.

Are you thinking you can OD on throat coat?

How much coat can your throat endure?

Yeah, I don't know.

Have to ask college man

that

i've decided to stay drunk

wow that's been the determination i've made in the 15 or 20 minutes in between shows man i wish i could get drunk with you it's been a long time i know man it's been too long i am not usually sick this long i've crossed over from like defiance i was defiant three days ago i was like i'm beating it i'm gonna beat it i'm in the process of beating it three days after i'm like I feel the same.

Yeah.

I have not beaten it.

COVID is a fucker like that.

It just takes so fucking long to get over it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's a nightmare.

Well,

not a nightmare is the situation that the entrepreneur finds itself in this week's episode.

It's kind of a cakewalk at this point.

We're not getting into any high stakes, high stress shit at all.

Do you want to get into today's episode?

I really do, Ben.

I am excited to be taken care of by B-Dunks, one of Star Trek's great episodic directors.

Indeed.

He's at the controls for Enterprise Season 3, Episode 23, and it's called Countdown.

So Hoshi, if you remember, she got grabbed last time, and she wakes up on the floor of a jail cell.

and I liked this because like they did a kind of chagrin pattern on the on the floor of the jail cell pretty good for like lizardmen they would that they would have a scaly jail cell floor you know

much to her chagrin she woke up

indeed I mean she's got to be shocked to wake up in the a story She does.

She's gone from deep C story to absolute A story.

And she's like, what do you guys want with me?

I'm barely even a character on the show.

I mean, I'm no Travis Mayweather, but like, I don't do much around here.

I feel like I've already said too much.

Like, eventually I will just get cut off.

Yeah.

My dialogue.

Dolom is like, we saw you from across the Zindi Council and we kind of dig your vibe as far as translating languages go.

That's very flattering, but you'll have to manage on your own.

We saw your clean uniform and we were like, kind of like the cut of her jib.

I bet she could crack some codes for us.

And she's like, I'm not

a cryptographer.

I'm a linguist.

And he says, but you're a cunning linguist.

And that's what's important.

They want her help because they need some stuff translated having to do with the aquatic language.

And this specifically was the thing that impressed them about Hoshi.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They weren't offended by the impression Hoshi did of the aquatics that sounded a lot like, I'm an aquatic.

Listen to me talk.

I don't like them, Sam I am.

Yeah, they're basically putting it to her: like, you translate this shit or we will fucking kill you.

And that's something she is willing to entertain as an idea.

Like, maybe you do kill me, because I don't want to fucking work with you guys.

You're going to kill everybody.

When you look at the chair, though, it's like, help us, or, and then gesture toward the chair.

Chair doesn't mean death, right?

Chair means worse than death?

Chair means schizom.

And

even in a pre-shkishim era, I think a Star Trek knows the potential of that, right?

Got to ask you a question about this chair.

Let's say you're Hoshi and you're in a context where torture is on the line.

You either help or you get tortured.

You get this chair.

There is very clearly not a hole in the seat part of the chair.

You kind of want a hole there, don't you?

Like, the fact that there is no hole makes it worse.

Because if, like, you're James Bond, you don't want hole.

No, but anyone but James Bond wants hole.

You want to be able to evacuate.

You need some place for

it to go.

Yeah.

They just got to set in it.

It's going to involve some injections

and like pretty clear that they are using her to

get into

the launch codes that they still need to use the Zindi weapon.

Because, as it was established in the previous episode, a bare majority of the council needs to agree that we are committing genocide on purpose to activate the weapon.

Got to say, huge props to Linda Park here, scream queening the hell out of this moment.

Yeah, good scream.

So the shuttle, if you remember, last time on, was asked to like bug out, like, don't engage in space battle until we come back for you.

And they've reattached themselves to the entrepreneur.

And the shuttle crew are hopping out and going, like, wow, that was exciting.

Like, what went on while we were doing our sphere adventure?

Pretty great.

There is actually a lot to read them in on a lot of bad news ending with hoshi being gone yeah reed has a little bit of bad news of his own for major haze uh w slash r slash t

uh corporal hawkins who bought the farm at the hands of a grappler last episode and major hayes is like what the fuck did you just say grappler yeah really

I thought this whole C story of what's going to happen between Reed and Hayes was resolved by the

way Reed performed regretting Hawkins' death in this moment.

Sure.

He did it too well, you're saying.

Yeah, like he was like, he was like, yeah, like he didn't make it.

And

Hayes was like, I would like a full report.

And Reed was like, yeah, I'll get you that.

Like, what does Hayes, like, what the fuck could Hayes ask for aside from that?

It was a fucking dangerous mission.

I mean, my imagination is going all sorts of places, Reed.

If you could not only do a report, but maybe like do some pictures.

Yeah.

Draw some diagrams.

So did the grappler like sort of squeeze him to death?

Because that sounds pretty horrific.

Or was it like it grabbed him and then he got like energy vaporized in a way that is not obvious?

You know, like you don't pick up a stuffed animal in an arcade claw machine and expect it to disappear once the claw has it.

You know, like when a dog finds a rodent and then just shakes it, is that what the grappler does?

Also, Reed, and I hate to ask you to do this, but I don't think Hawkins expected to go out like this and

has a lot of ex-girlfriends who are going to need this news broken to them in a respectful way, you know?

Like, do you think you could maybe put pen to paper on the behalf of the 16, as we call them?

Girlfriends who are now, I mean, I'm just going to say it, back on the market.

Yeah,

you know,

hard to put it that way, but I think we just need to be brutally honest in a moment like this.

We got to cut over to the mountain layer on the Zindi planet where Archer presses the primate counselor and Janar on what the hell they're going to do now.

Yeah.

Archer can just go to this room, by the way.

Like, like he is fully just like invited to Zindi secret place now.

Does he have his own badge and credentials?

Seems that way.

It feels like that.

Yeah, he can, he has like the RFID like card that gets him into the room.

Everyone's pretty calm for one reason only.

They don't think Dollum has all the passwords necessary to fire the weapon.

He doesn't know how the codes go.

I mean, he knows how his codes go.

Ben, we've been with Jannar a bunch this season.

Yeah.

I got to ask you, did he take his break outside in the sun or something?

He looks burned.

He looks like something happened to him.

You know, sometimes, you know, the clouds do clear on this planet, and we do go up and

I get a little sunburn.

My people prefer to use oil

instead of sunscreen.

You know,

you've got that that container where the dog is pulling the little girl's bathing suit down and it's lighter underneath.

On our version of that product, it's much darker down there.

Have you ever tried to get sunscreen on a fur?

Now you understand my predicament.

Anyway, it's anyone's guess which way the aquatics are leaning at this point.

But if Hoshi is somehow able to decrypt the aquatic codes, that's not even going to matter.

Yeah.

And Archer is like, hey, Aquatics, like, I know you guys are like legends for taking your time to think about shit.

But, like, at this point, taking your time is not a luxury you have.

Like,

these guys are going to fucking crack your codes.

You're not going to have any choice in the matter.

Gut over to the Enterprise Command Center where Tripp and TePaul work on getting the data out of this CD rack

that they got off of the sphere.

TePaul in this moment is catching some feelings

the longer Trip Tucker talks about Hoshi.

Yeah.

They're wishing she was there, but like even she would

be able to remind them.

She's not a cryptographer.

She's not a code breaker.

I mean, it would be the only line of dialogue she's permitted to deliver.

Yeah.

But she definitely would.

If she was relegated to this B storyline, she would have a thing to say.

But like, I feel like that's maybe why Tapal is feeling kind of emotional about Hoshi's absence.

Like, her being not in this scene means she probably has so much to do in this episode.

And Trip is like, what's with you lately?

You're feeling all the feels.

What the hell?

You okay?

Archer rolls up.

They tell him four spheres control the energy to all of the spheres, four super spheres.

Yeah.

And if they were somehow able to attack one of the four, the rest of the spheres could be taken offline.

Think of it from the mosquito's perspective.

Right.

This is kind of a maybe, like, maybe the four spheres messing with one would mess with the whole system.

Yeah.

We really hope that's the case.

This is all they have, as far as hope goes.

It's what they've got to go on.

And we cut over to where Hoshi is at.

The lizards are telling her that they're going to put some parasites in her that make her more compliant so that they can get get her to do the things that they want her to do.

And not only are these parasites going to make her more compliant, but like the longer they're in her, the more damage they will do.

So it will be like compliance until death, basically.

It's a real gross out.

And I think Hoshi, especially, is more fearful than most would be because

of how much she's seen of like parasites in Dr.

Fox's department and I don't know what they did to Degra.

Like they were using all sorts of things inside birdies on that mission.

Like her familiarity with parasites, I think makes this even more dreadful to consider for her.

Yeah, it's like somebody who has made it through an aliens movie being asked to like have like some alien thing injected into them.

Yeah.

You know, it's like, no, man, no fucking way.

I've seen how that shit goes.

Not down.

I love how Dollum goes into great and unnecessary detail about how they work.

Yeah.

You see, they're young.

Enter through the ears.

Once they begin reconfiguring your synaptic pathways, you'll be much more compliant.

This is a very dramatic flourish by him.

It's very con in a way, you know, like villain monologuing before dropping the parasite into the space helmet.

Yeah.

If we change the words,

The scene ends with a moment that I am always curious about with actors, between actors, which is like, when you spit into the face of another actor as part of a role,

how many takes do you get?

How many takes do you want?

Do you ever have a thing off to the side with the actor you're spitting into the face of?

And you're like, look, man, like, look at us.

We're just actors, right?

You know, I don't mean anything by this.

Yeah, and like, by the same token, if you're spitting into the mouth of another actor or onto the genitalia of another actor, like, you probably negotiate that ahead of time, right?

I mean, what is there to negotiate?

Spend all that night.

How much to do that?

Yeah, like, are we like making the like what happens later in the scene easier or harder by doing this?

Hoshi goes Hak Tua on Dahlem

just before getting the big injection.

Yeah, and that's what sets Hoshi up to do a big crypto rug pull later in the episode.

Yeah.

Over on the Bridge of Enterprise, Archer and Reed, along with Jannar and the Counselor, talk about why the weapon has stopped in space.

That's unusual behavior.

It was just cruising along, and now it's not.

Between the Arboreals and the Humanoids, they're like kind of too chicken shit to go fight the lizards and the the bugs.

Because the lizards and the bugs are assholes, so they build their ships to be assholes.

And they're like, what about the aquatics?

Could they help?

And it turns out the aquatics have the best ships of all.

Kind of surprising, if you ask me.

Why don't you put them in charge?

Their ships are extremely powerful.

Would they possibly join their team?

Would they listen to Archer?

Aboard Degra's ship, we find out.

The counselor translates for the Aquatic talking over FaceTime.

And the big takeaway here is that they have agreed to meet Archer to hear more.

Yeah.

And on the Aquatic ship, we see this meeting.

Archer and Jannar and the Counselor are waiting and waiting and waiting for this aquatic to finally show up.

I wanted to know why they went to a whole ass aquatic ship to do this meeting through glass when like FaceTime is the same.

It's the same.

It's exactly the same.

You're still talking through glass, you know?

Yeah.

When the aquatics show up, we get a test drive of the new translation software that works pretty well for their conversation.

The aquatics have cracked the human language code.

Yeah.

And they're like, hey, like, we're aquatics.

We take a long time to decide things.

And we feel like we have the luxury of time because those guys, they may have our codes, but they can't crack our codes.

Much like Hoshi's impression of the aquatics, the aquatics' impression of humans is very,

insulting.

Instead of like diddling your lips, it's like,

you guys have

like this, because everything is so dry.

Before this conversation is over, Archer asks the aquatics where their new planet, the planet that's going to be gifted to them by the Guardians,

is going to be.

Because if it's inside the expanse,

That's going to be inside an extremely bad part of Space Town.

Yeah.

wouldn't you say you don't want to live there?

And if this bit of business isn't convincing,

maybe knowing how to disable the spheres would be.

We can turn those off.

We know how, which is, I love this for Archer.

Like, the, the, like, he does not know for sure that they know what he hopes they know.

Like, they've already established that this is a maybe.

Like, if they turn off these four major, you know, you know, more influential than the the rest spheres, it might have a ripple effect.

But it's all they got.

He fucking risks it all.

He goes all in,

you know, hoping that his hand will beat whatever the aquatics have.

And it seems like it's maybe persuasive.

Yeah.

Hey, speaking of spheres, we go to the weapon.

And Hoshi is in it.

Yeah, because her job at this point is to bypass the aquatic encryption protocols.

And she says she's trying as hard as she can.

That's not good enough for Dollum, who gives her a good shaking.

Yeah.

Maybe more parasites are in her future.

Yeah.

She's resisting the parasites is the problem.

She's made of tougher stuff than they pictured.

Like, I love this idea of like lizardman chauvinism.

Like, I can't believe these fucking humans are capable of being of being tough like us.

Are the injections a scarcity issue?

Like, why wouldn't wouldn't you just load her up initially?

I was shocked by this.

Maybe it's like a, I don't want to do too big of a dose to like overdo it so that she is then so fucking high on parasite that she.

Yeah, we got to get her there.

She needs to know that two plus two equals four, you know.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, not only is Hoshi resisted to parasite and not solved the equation, but like she's added a layer of encryption.

Yeah.

What a huge backfire.

She like kicks a guy in the nuts and tries to like jump off the catwalk.

I had to go grab her.

Great moment for Hoshi.

Very brave.

In the Enterprise Command Center, Tepal and Trip work out how to disable one of those four power spheres, but they disagree about a lot of the ideas they've got because they're all too dangerous for Enterprise.

I was surprised that

this whole mission didn't constitute a suicide mission.

Are we not

Needs of the Manying?

This are we not trying to save Earth and human civilization and wouldn't sacrificing Enterprise be worth it?

Like at any cost.

We're saving.

Yeah.

But like disabling the Spheres is payment.

So like they don't want payment for saving Earth to be

at the cost of the ship.

Like, you know, what I'm trying to say is like, if they save the thing and then they have to go pay and that's what destroys the ship, right that feels like no good you know right

and i will remind people that i had a lot of alcohol not that long ago

um

i i like this scene because like it does remind me of a lot of like work situation arguments that i've been involved in which are like we have to solve a problem and one of us is just saying why all of the ideas are bad and the other one is trying to come up with ideas and it's like hey could you try to help me come up with ideas instead of just saying why ideas are bad like let's fucking brainstorm here instead of shut everything down it's yes and not no but i really feel sub-tweeted right now

and it took five shots to get you there ben yeah we're fucking loose as a goose right now let it all out buddy yeah she wants his help you know she doesn't want him shutting the fucking flow state down.

Yeah, but Trip is tired of taking to Paul's lip, too.

yeah like she hasn't been great to work with either yeah but she's recovering from her pretty bad trillion habit but he doesn't know that yeah yeah he comes back in and they're good like they this this is one of those problems that does not live longer than the scene that it's in sphere builder numera uno

is very pleased with her little buddy dollim who is in control of the sphere but uh he's like hey you know we got this code.

We don't know how the code goes.

We're doing our best, but like, why don't you help out with that?

And she's like, I don't do, like, I detect things, like, big shit in the timeline.

I don't detect little shit.

That's a YP, not an MP type of vibe.

This is another disappointment for Dollum, who has presumed great power

by this person, great abilities, and just kind of a real nonchalance about not being able to use them in very specific situations that would be helpful.

And yet she fucking rides his ass about all of these bad timelines that they need to unbad by launching the weapon.

And he's like, I'm fucking trying here.

Kind of makes you understand and get on the side of Dollum a little bit, huh?

Because when she fucks off, Dollum, he's so disappointed.

What's he going to do?

He is, but like, Dollum, like, what you're fighting for is genocide.

Like, maybe, maybe back off the genocide for a second and like take another look at the problem from the 30,000 foot view.

I got to ask you if you really believe that because I still believe Dollum just wants power and doesn't care about the genocide.

Like he'll do it if it gets him power but I don't think that's what gets him off.

But like maybe he could play not doing the genocide for power too, you know?

Potentially.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I just think he's not thinking creatively enough.

No, he's not.

Back on Enterprise, that's where the the creative thinking happens in the command center.

Guess what?

TePal and Trip have identified a weak spot on one of the four power spheres, and targeting it with their main deflector dish could disable it.

That's a little premature at this point.

Yeah.

Arger catches up with the other counselor dude, and he's like, Yeah, you know, these aquatics, they're like, They really deliberate.

That's just their shit.

Will people stop saying that?

You know, like, my boy Degra, he got stabbed last episode.

We all feel bad about him.

I wasn't necessarily a thousand percent down with the cause he was pursuing, but Degra, always the smartest guy in any room he walked into.

You got to listen to what Degra has to say, no matter what.

Legally, it's just a fart joke.

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The wizards answer eight by eight.

The Conclave's call to demonstrate their arcane gift, their single spell.

They number 64

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63

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You will never take the greatest shit alive.

Men would rather die.

Rather die.

What?

A lot of people shit talk

the slowness with which the aquatics come to a decision.

But like that aspect to them is kind of the glue that holds the whole thing together, right?

When you're in a council with insects and reptiles, you need an aquatic

to do that.

If it was just us in that council without the aquatics, like all we would be doing is going and stabbing people.

That's all they want to do.

Like Aquatics are they're a key swing vote.

And what do you know?

The aquatics roll up and they have decided to help in the cause.

What do you make of the detail that in this conversation, it is clear that this will not ever be the only weapon the Zindi ever built?

Like, destroying this one

destroys this one.

But, like, what we're trying to destroy is an idea

through this negotiation.

I mean, at least it kicks the can, right?

Like you don't have to worry about this one, and it will presumably take them a long time to build the next one, and that's time that you have to persuade them against using it.

They're probably going to build the second one real fast, because that's how it works, right?

Because they got, yeah, they got the plans already.

Like once you've paid to get the mold built, like you can just injection mold all day, right?

Absolutely.

I guess so.

The destruction of the spheres is the thing that really swayed the aquatics and they're like, all right, we're going to like demand payment on this.

We want to get those spheres taken care of and

we have agreed to work with you in the case that you can help us do that.

Captain, hope you didn't make him any promises.

We'll keep working.

Please build.

In the liminal space of the sphere builders, that white space, they talk about how the chances of humans winning this conflict may never have been higher.

So now they're forced to intervene.

No one seems to like this, but they got to do it.

And when we cut to the sphere weapon ship, we learn that Parasite Hoshi was successful in removing the blocks on the passwords.

So that's a pretty big moment.

Can we just go back to the liminal space for one second and talk about what the stakes are for the sphere builders?

Because like they want to innovate invade this part of the galaxy the expanse which will fuck shit up for the Zindi but like do they have any like particular reason to do that or are they just kind of like an expansionist force in transdimensional space yeah man they want a terraform they want to they want to make it a place where their kind can live yeah they want to make it all huat

like this liminal space

I mean it seems clear that they want to make it all huat

but like are they're just colonizers right like they don't yeah it's not like they're threatened by anything.

This is not an act of desperation for them, it's like a low-level functionary meeting from the sphere builder standpoint.

Like, this isn't like main sphere builder shit.

This isn't like going to make or break the sphere builders, it's just like this one sphere builder's job to like push this project along, right?

And this project happens to be the thing that potentially destroys an entire chunk of the alpha quadrant.

Correct.

So, the lizards have finally gotten their third launch code from Hoshi, who seems very fucked up at this point.

She's not doing great.

She could not give consent in this state, that's for sure.

No way.

She's like me at this point.

Ah, what a mess.

Everybody's getting strapped and ready for a fight.

Breed comes into a bay with Major Hayes and drops off a report

about what happened to his boy, Corporal Hawkins.

And this is the big confrontation.

Does Hayes blame Reed?

No, not really, but he just doesn't like that one of his guys went into battle not under his command.

And like getting slimed is part of the job.

when you're a Mako, but like getting slimed under the command of not a Mako just doesn't sit right with Major Hayes.

And it seems like Reed just needs to like more time perform that

that hit Reed just as hard as it would have hit Hayes if Hayes had lost Hawkins in the field.

Are you questioning Reed's sincerity here?

Not at all.

I'm much more questioning Major Hayes' like, like, why do you need to get this from Reed one more time?

Like, he already did that.

Like, he already, like, his regret was 100% evident the last time you guys talked.

It does seem like the only reason for this scene to exist is to make it very clear that they're done acting so messed up towards each other.

Yeah, it's a game-recognized game scene.

Right.

But I just didn't, I felt like we didn't need it.

Like,

Hayes should know at this point that Reed does not take the death of his men lightly.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That much is clear, and now doubly clear because we got this scene.

They're friends now.

And unlike the commitment that Reed did not make to Major Hayes, Major Hayes makes a commitment to Reed that we will fucking for sure bring Oshi home.

Her life is 100% safe right now.

I mean, even though, like, on the ledger, a Mako was just killed, therefore, like, if a Starfleet was killed,

that would kind of even things out

in an elegant way.

Yeah.

And the captain's mess, Archer and Trip and TePaul, make the time to have dinner together.

It feels like it's been a long time since we've gotten a scene like this.

Yeah.

Thanks to the newly patched up galley, that's why it's taken so long.

Finally,

the chef can put a seer on a steak.

What are they all going to do after this mission is done?

Trip has plans to drink and buy drinks for other people.

That's his main thing.

602, baby.

You're both invited, of course.

Archer wants to get back to the original mission of exploration, but as for Tepaul,

she wants to continue serving with Starfleet, which is a delight to the group.

Yeah.

She might get a proper uniform.

Like, I would say that the group hasn't processed that part.

TePaul,

I think you should wear like a children's medium.

I'm just saying, like, what we wear is not stretchy, you know?

Have you considered that?

I want to propose a uniform with a lot of gussets.

And you're going to need them.

They're approaching the coordinates, and so they got to go.

And on board the sphere, the weapon sphere specifically,

they're getting the reactor going.

They're getting ready to arm the weapon.

With that sequence begun, Dahlum is going to go have a little heat lamp sesh.

So he's like feeling pretty cocky here.

But then suddenly, so many ships show up.

So many Zindi ships plus Entrepreneur show up.

And the Entrepreneur is like a bit of a fun surprise because it was actually flying in the belly of this huge aquatic ship.

I don't think we realized how big the ships that the aquatics are rocking were.

We needed this moment to know that, right?

Yeah.

And like kind of an adventurous design aesthetic that the aquatics have because they put a lot of glass on the outside of their ships.

Like when you look at a Federation Starship, there's like little dots of light that you know are windows.

Yeah.

Like the aquatics are going like giant bubbles exposing water to space through glass, you know?

Yeah, it's something that's really struck me lately as we've been watching original series Star Trek on our hit new Star Trek podcast that's now about old Star Trek Greatest Trek is like how few windows there are.

on that version of the Enterprise.

They didn't have a lot of money for LEDs in those days.

I guess they probably wouldn't have even been LEDs.

They would have been like Christmas lights, you know?

Yeah.

But yeah, they couldn't do it.

So here goes a big battle.

And

the Zendi weapon is getting fucked up.

And Dolum is so pissed about this.

Yeah.

I think his expectation is that he's got the most powerful ship and he's got the most powerful ally.

But as soon as the Armada starts firing on him, it seems like he's overmatched pretty fast.

DePaul figures out where Hoshi is, presumably by just like scanning for human life form among the other ships.

And there she is.

So Hayes and the Makos beam over to the reptilian vessel.

And I thought this was interesting because they're doing non-lethal takedowns as they make their way through this Lizardman ship.

Yeah.

Like

not treating this like the lethal event that I think you would imagine when, like, the existence of the Earth is on the line.

Yeah, I agree.

It's a lot of, like, like, hooking a guy and then, like, cattle prodding him, you know?

I like that.

Anyways, he, like, he, he radios Enterprise at one point, can't get a response.

Did you feel like this would be an episode where, like, it would be Major Hayes' last stand?

Like, did you start to feel

he would also die?

This is why the Makos were written onto the show is like for to make these kinds of sacrifices.

I wish they'd given us more of Major Hayes than just he and Reed have a pissing contest

this season.

Because when it's Reed, you can't help but take Hayes's side.

Yeah, and like, I want to be interested in him as a character, like, more than your average character that is introduced on a show.

I want to like, I want to know what makes him tick.

And I did not really get the feeling that this was his last stand, honestly.

Like, like, what happens to him came as a surprise.

And I've got faith of the far heart.

Legally, it's just a fur joke.

In the liminal space, the sphere builders are freaking the fuck out.

And so they agree, like, it's time to really start intervening.

And what that is

the spheres start putting out an accelerated amount of whatever it is they're emitting that creates all the space queso.

Yeah.

And so anomalies start forming densely around the weapon.

And this glop starts affecting all of the Zindi ships that are trying to attack it,

including the aquatic mothership.

When that aquatic ship explodes, it blows big.

It really does.

And like, like up until this point, I was like, oh, maybe they just have like big teal lights on the outside of their ship.

And then I was like, oh, no, that was an aquarium wall with glass.

Like that's water coming out of that stuff.

Really cool looking.

Bad design, aquatics.

Yeah.

You're going to want to double wall that glass, I think.

Yeah, yeah.

That's why there's like a pressure hole and an outer hull on your average submarine, you know.

Finally, Hayes gets a hold of Enterprise, telling them they got Hoshi, but Trip tells them that the transporter is down.

It's damaged.

They can't use it.

They're going to have to stand their ground until it's fixed.

Dolom, with the advent of all of this space queso, is filled with a fervor, like a religious fervor for the Guardians that he hasn't really shown so far.

And I feel like at this moment becomes like more dedicated to his mission than he's even up until this point.

Yeah.

We start beaming the Makos out two at a time.

Hayes is the last one to go and he gets shot mid-beam out.

What a moment.

And materializes on the pad with a big wound in his chest.

I think we've always wondered like what would happen

mid-beam if things like getting shot were to happen or if someone threw something at you or someone punched you during.

Isn't there an episode of TNG where somebody shoots somebody beaming out and it like reflects off of the transporter pattern onto something else and that's like the key to the mystery?

Reflection doesn't happen here to Hayes.

No.

This beam goes right in because when he materializes on the platform on Enterprise, he is in agony.

Yeah.

He does not feel great and on the sphere they've completed the arming sequence and they are preparing to launch and they go through the vortex and all of the remaining Zindy ships and all of the people on the Entrepreneur have to process that.

Once again, for the second time in two episodes in a row, they have lost big time.

Once the vortex is open, Enterprise goes in along with one reptilian and one insectoid ship.

Yeah.

That's it.

In Six Bay, Reed checks on Major Hayes, says, hey, man, thank you for going going and getting Hoshi.

I certainly couldn't have.

What's up with all that hamburger on your chest?

What's that about?

Reed is at his bedside, specifically.

Hayes tells Reed, why don't you put Mackenzie in charge?

She knows the team.

Yeah, when you're on a hospital bed giving out orders of succession, I think you know what the score is.

If you're Hayes.

Dead giveaway.

RSVP, Major Hayes.

Yeah.

We learned that it is 10 hours until the Zindi weapon reaches Earth.

And the late Degra left a ship that has been involved in all this.

It's the fastest one, but it's not tough enough to stop all of the lizardmen and

bugmen that are escorting the weapon.

And Archer's like, why don't we just put some soldiers on board and go dock with the weapon and disable it from the inside?

And the Zindis are like, well wait wait wait wait wait wait wait man like

you said that if we helped you do this you would help us destroy the spheres I know this failed but you're like you still got to pay up on your side of the thing yeah we had net 10 minute terms on the deal

it says it right there on the invoice So it kind of looks like we're splitting the team up, right?

Like we're going to send some people to do sphere destructo.

You get their point, right?

Like that this is not all about Earth for the Zindi.

Yeah.

And I like that reminder.

Yeah.

Like, we have some skin in the game, too,

and we have for a long time.

Yeah.

Wet skin because we're aquatic.

Yeah.

So, like, if our common enemy is the sphere builders, like, you help us, we'll help you.

Right, right.

So, Reed addresses the bankos and he's like, hey.

Some people lived, some people died.

Hayes died, but like, he also wanted us to go aboard that weapon and destroy that shit.

I'm only taking three of you, even though there are so many makos in this room.

For some reason, I've decided it's me and three of you.

And was Mackenzie one of them?

Was not.

We're talking about Woods, Ramirez, and Forbes, none of which are buxom either.

Yeah.

A very surprising set of selections.

Yeah.

That's so too.

Archer wants intel from Hoshi, who has been lying on a slab in Six Bay ever since she was brought back.

And

Flox is like, she needs a lot of recovery time.

So many parasites were inside of her.

And I've put some new ones inside of her.

So the old parasites are fighting the new parasites.

Flox is like, I pulled more parasites out of her than I could possibly eat in one sitting.

I was doing some of them like sashimi style, honestly.

Like, it was fucking crazy.

you can talk to her in a couple of hours and archer's like well you tell reed how to do that because she's coming with us on degra's ship and fox is like well what take me like reed doesn't know fucking anything about this he's an idiot

how is that not persuasive it's not

Fox is kneaded on the entrepreneur and is left behind at a very like Archer walking away from him at the end of a long hallway moment.

Yeah, I mean, this is is Dark Archer.

This is consistent with his values.

Like, he knows that his decision puts Hoshi's life in danger, but that does not matter here.

He needs her.

Yeah.

And also, this is only Hoshi in the context of the show and its characters.

We could see her dying and it being like not that big a deal at this point.

I think for several episodes, we might have presumed that it already happened.

On

Dolom's ship, they get a FaceTime from the Insectoids who are like, all right, like,

what was going on with all of those anomalies showing up to save the day?

Like, that really starts to persuade us that maybe

the Sphere Builders and the Guardians are one and the same.

Like, what do you have to say about that, Dolem?

And Dolem is like, don't care.

Want the political power.

Fuck you guys.

And he destroys all of the insectoid ships.

Yeah, in the same same way that he didn't need the launch codes, he doesn't need the alliance either.

Yeah, he already has the insectoids by

in the form of the decrypted launch codes.

So they should have held on to those launch codes as a little bit of a bargaining ship, and they didn't.

Yeah.

The insectoids didn't play this right.

Nope.

On Enterprise, Reed heads out leading the Makos on their mission.

And before he goes, Trip wants a souvenir off of that weapons platform before he comes back.

Yeah.

Maybe you could hit the gift shop on your way out.

I know those giant weapons platforms have a giant gift shop.

Get me like a

stuffed sphere weapon or like a kid's book or like a coffee table book about how Florida was destroyed.

Something to remember them by.

You know what I bet they got?

They got one of those spherical tiki glasses

shaped just like the weapons platform give me one of those read

a t-shirt that says it's all sphere in here is that a thing

one of those novelty t-shirts where uh it's super long like a night shirt but uh it's got a it's got a picture of a bowdy in it and then like where the breasts are those are two sphere weapons platforms like like right under the bikini part i love those shirts those novelty shirts are so much fun.

Maybe a bumper sticker that says, don't blame me, I voted for Degra.

So basically any one of those, Reed.

You keep your eyes peeled.

Take care of your boy Trip back here on Entrepreneur.

You know, a nice gift or let your buddy Trip Tucker know you've been thinking about him.

If you do end up buying souvenir pasties, just make sure you buy a bunch, you know?

Usually they come two to a pack, so you're going to buy nine packs at least.

You're never gonna let that go, are you?

So with Archer and Hoshi making their way to Degru's ship and Reed heading out with the Makos on this mission, what we got here is Trip Tucker and TePaul Commanding Enterprise into the next episode.

But before we get there, Ben, did you like this one?

I can't pay.

Couldn't flate.

Got okay.

Tempting fate.

Very exciting episode.

I thought the action on this one was a little easier to follow than the previous episode.

Like, because there were fewer factions, there was less intrigue about what was going on.

Yeah.

I guess.

It was pretty two-dimensional in that way.

Sure.

But

interesting episode.

Interesting to see the idea that

the Zindi are not homogenous as a society, but also not homogenous as shipbuilders or as tacticians.

Like the way they have all approached space travel is really different.

Yeah.

And it makes me think like this idea that the Zindi are like destined to become part of the Federation is like a bigger leap for them than it is for humanity.

Because

the humans already have aliens on their ships.

Like they have people from other planets on their ships.

And the Zindi don't.

Like they all come from one planet, but they have like their own ships with their own agendas and shit.

And it makes them feel less far along in the development of higher states of being where we resolve shit not through physical conflict.

That nonsense is centuries behind us.

I feel kind of crazy as a modern TV watcher to know that there are two entire episodes left.

Yeah.

This season feels amazing in how long it is and how many twists and turns we've taken to get to this point.

Like Star Trek Discovery would resolve all of these conflicts in like 30 minutes and then have another 15 minutes to do other shit with the characters.

And we have two full fucking episodes left.

Yeah, that's a pace that just feels different from anything we've watched in the last 10 years.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Very luxurious.

Yeah.

How about you?

One of the great Enterprise episodes.

I thought it was excellent.

And I thought this season would slip for

Degra's death.

Like, I thought as soon as he died, something very interesting and irreplaceable would be removed from the show.

Right, because he feels like the big bad.

He feels essential.

Until so recent.

And then he feels like the big good.

He occupies both of those spaces.

And to remove him completely, I thought would just leave this care vacuum.

Like, I thought I would have a hard time caring after he was gone, which is surprising for me to say and believe.

But

I thought in the aftermath of his death, the show got very interesting and compelling for his absence even.

I think that Degra's death is

essential to setting up Dolem as the big villain who is as scary as he is.

Like, Dolem is so scary to me at this point.

Yeah.

Because it feels like he is capable of anything.

And it's a fun blend of like the hyper-reality of modern television with the like archness and silliness of old-time Star Trek because he still goes like, destroy them all, in like a crazy voice.

Yeah.

But he feels like so grounded in his motivations that, like,

not motivations that I can identify with, but motivations that I can identify as human, you know?

Sure.

Why the very name is racist?

So, really interesting way of setting up a villain over the course of 23 episodes.

It's just incredible to hear that.

Wait, are there two episodes left or just one?

Do we just have one?

Have I been saying that wrong?

Now you got me second-guessing myself.

Oh, no, there's just one left.

Holy shit.

What?

That's it.

Amazing.

Wow.

Incredible.

Looking forward to that.

There are going to be so many, like, wrong buzzers and people writing angry letters to us.

How Ben.

Blame it on being drunk.

Yeah, it's not my fault.

It's the game of buttholes' fault.

If we had done the fucking mornhammered at this point, it would be unlistenable.

This would be the episode that never went to broadcast.

Well, do you want to see if these P1s go to broadcast, Adam?

Oh, yeah.

Priority one message from Starfleet coming in on secured channels.

Need a supplemental income.

Supplemental income.

Supplemental.

Supplemental income.

Yeah, it's extra.

But the interest alone could be enough to buy this ship.

Ben, we got a promotional priority one message here.

Here's how that goes.

Do you want help finding mental health care?

Yes.

Meet Rachel Kazez,

FOD since 2016 and pro therapist who consults with people everywhere.

Many FODs even.

To find therapy and more.

Rachel helps clarify what you're looking for and does the work for you.

You get a list of vetted providers who are actually available, who take your insurance and fit your preferences.

Don't rely on AI or a website.

Let Rachel find your mental health care and spread the word about all along to help others get help.

Deanna Troy drop?

Whoa.

I'd appreciate some suggestions.

Here it is.

Go to allalong.org for more information.

You can help others get help too.

Post about all along online and add it to your company or community resource lists today.

Hell yeah.

I have recommended Rachel Cazez's services to friends of mine and

have heard great things.

So I can give a personal recommendation for allalong.org.

to the friends of DeSoto.

Rachel does great work.

This is, I think, the second or third time we've gotten a P1, and I hope the greatest gen bump continues, and I hope the parade of people getting their mental health in order continues as well.

Yeah, all along, getting triple bumped.

And we got a personal P1 here from Matt Pat, and it's to my friend Adam and his betrothed, Casey, who will not hear this message.

It goes like this.

Despite you talking so publicly about listening to this dumb podcast, you are getting married.

I don't know how this could have happened.

Casey is wonderful.

You are great too, but you refuse to be embarrassed of listening to this podcast like I feel you should.

I love you both very much, and I'm so happy for this next chapter of your lives.

O'Brien Drop.

I am Chief Miles Edward O'Brien.

This is fucking spectacular.

Wow.

I'm constantly blown away by folks who celebrate their major major relationship milestones on this show.

Incredible.

Yeah, congratulations, Adam and Casey.

I mean, congratulations, Adam, and you can let Casey know that we also said congratulations.

Sure.

But it will mean nothing to them.

Not at all.

And thanks, Matt Pat, for congratulating Adam via us.

I mean, ordinarily talking publicly about our show is a recipe for long-term bachelorhood.

Yeah.

But

pretty amazing.

It worked out in your favor, guys.

Good job.

Yeah.

Ben, our final message here is from Dan, and it's to Dr.

Simon Clark.

Okay.

Here's how that goes.

Congratulations on completing your 21-kilometer swimming fundraiser in honor of your father.

You are an inspiration to him and to many for your work as a climate communicator.

That being said, I had to do a P1 to shout you out since you admitted to the embarrassing fact that you were listening to Ben and Adam during the swim.

I mean, 21 kilometers is like not that long to swim, right?

Like, that's.

That's like one lap in a pool, right?

Yeah.

If that.

Really awful indictment of our show.

And how funny it may be, given that you can listen to it safely while swimming.

Totally in no danger of

altering your breathing patterns in a way that would be dangerous.

The greatest generation.

Just add water.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Outrageous.

Thank you, Dr.

Simon Clark, for communicating about the climate and fundraising on behalf of your father.

That sounds really great.

Thanks to everybody who got a P1 on today's episode.

To get your own, go to maximumfun.org/slash jumbotron and book yours today.

Hey, Adam.

What?

Did you find yourself a drunk Shimoda?

Incredible.

Drunk Shimoda.

I am going to make my drunk Shimoda hoshi

for faking the whole efficacy of the neural parasites thing early on.

Hell yeah.

Like,

I love the move.

I understand the desperation.

Was her endgame to jump off the railing?

I have to think, yes, right?

Like, it's a needs of the many outnumber the needs of me.

Like, she's going to put up more and more programmatic blockers.

She's going to jump over the railing.

Fuck you, Dolem.

I was thinking so much about that.

Like

when you have been out of your mind, you know, being sick or being very drunk from the last episode of the podcast you recorded or whatever, like, can you imagine being like, all right, like,

I'm not doing great, but at least I can do this, you know?

Yeah.

I fucking respect the shit out of Hoshi for this episode.

Yeah, I do too.

Just for the boldness of the plan, she's going to be my Shimoda.

Yeah, she's my Shimoda too, for sure.

Linda Park does a fucking amazing job in this episode.

And I love that not only is she a great actor, but her character is a great actor.

Like she completely pulled the wool over the eyes of the Lizardman to do this.

That's a great distinction.

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, she rules.

Good job, Hoshi.

You deserved so much more from this TV show.

You said it.

Faith of the fart.

Well, Adam, let's talk about next week's episode while you head to goch.biz slash game and hopefully get us into less trouble than I almost did last week if it weren't for the veto.

Next week's episode is season three, episode 24.

Archer puts his life on the line in a risky gambit to intercept the Zindi super weapon and disarm it from within.

Archer's wanted to die for a long time.

I feel like this is a good moment for him.

Archer putting his life on the line is like almost not worth mentioning in the description of an episode.

Something I got to mention here, Ben, is this run that we've been on in the game of buttholes

wheel of the Riker.

Just square after square we've been hitting

of specials.

I hope we have something normal next week, but I'm not expecting it.

You're required to learn as you play.

Roll.

Here's that roll.

Do it.

Ben, I have rolled a 72.

Tula!

Did I win?

Hardly.

Where does that put us?

Square 29.

Okay.

It is a regular old episode.

Blessedly.

Wow.

Amazing.

Can't believe it.

We scarcely deserve it.

I thought for sure we'd be eating breadsticks or something next week.

It seemed like like it was destined, but somehow we snatched normal from the jaws of weird.

This has been a fun episode, Adam.

We got to thank a lot of people at the end of this thing.

We got to thank Wendy Pretty for

probably cutting out some burps and some ums and uhs.

And snots.

Yeah.

We got to thank the friends of DeSoto who go to maximumfun.org slash join and support this project on a monthly basis.

Only costs five bucks a month to get access to the bonus feed.

And

boy, we sure appreciate it.

We got to thank our buddies Rob Adler and Bill Tilly, who run the social media and

keep all the online experiences fun for the Friends of DeSoto.

Yeah, they do such a great job.

Yeah.

We got to thank Adam Ragusia for the original remix of the parody of Diane Warren's theme song.

And we gotta thank Dark Materia for the original Picard song.

With that, we will be back at you next week with another great episode of Star Trek Enterprise, an episode of the Greatest Generation Enterprise that is like

not at all like anything that goes down at Camp Kittemer.

Like, it's not that vibe at all.

Like, no major peace compact is impacted by the events of, you know, what happens in that show.

Of course, yeah.

And for my part, I'm hoping for no more Star Trek Snotcast.

Hell yeah.

That's over.

Yeah, we're all hoping for that.

Got to.

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