9 Habits to Look 10 Years Younger

Today is my birthday and I'm 52.

Everyone is always shocked when I tell them how old I am.

They say I look 40 or even younger.

And while it's lovely to hear that,

I kind of know it's true, if I'm just being honest.

I know what I look like.

I know this about myself.

In fact, sometimes I want to tell people how old I am

because I feel like it gives me street cred.

When I say that I've been a therapist

and a coach for 25 years,

I think a lot of times people doubt me or they think I'm exaggerating my experience and they wonder if I started when I was 12. Everyone asks me, how do I look so young? What do I do to take care of myself? So on this birthday episode, I thought I would share some of the things that I do and don't do, my secrets to looking super young and feeling amazing at any age.
I've narrowed it down to nine habits that everyone can incorporate into their lives, and I do save the very best one for the last, so make sure to stick around till the end. Hi, it's Hillary.
Welcome to the Hillary Silver Podcast. Thanks for tuning into the conversation today.
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Before I get into it all, I want to say two things. First, I love getting older.
I love how I feel about myself. I'm kinder, gentler, more forgiving, more patient, more accepting.
And because I can give myself more grace, I'm more able to extend that to others as well. And that just feels really good.
So nothing about this looking and feeling young is anti-aging at all. And then the other thing I want to say is pretty obvious, but it needs to be noted, and that is obviously some things are just genetic.
For better or for worse, we just got to do the best that we can with what we've been given. I often joke that I look young because I've always had full round cheeks, which I hated when I was younger.
I always hated my cheeks. But now that I'm older, I'm grateful because I just feel like that's part of what keeps me looking so youthful.
That aside, there are nine habits that keep me looking and feeling 10 years younger. I'm going to start with the first four, which are more mindset related, and then we'll get into the nitty gritty actions.
So the first habit, which is the most important, and that is to have a positive mental attitude and a solution focused mindset. Walking around with negativity and resentment and anger, harboring ill feelings towards people, holding grudges, being a complainer, blaming, having a victim mentality,

all of that is toxic to our health and our well-being. It causes depression and anxiety and stress, and it can drive us to drink or eat our problems away or drink and eat our feelings away.
And ultimately, it takes a toll on our appearance too. Over time, it can just make us look wrinkly and small and shriveled up and just ugly and old.
It's just an ugly energy. It ages us.
Bitterness and resentment can do that. Maybe you know someone who could be attractive, but their attitude just makes them off-putting or has them just looking old and cranky.
What comes to mind right now are the people who literally take the time to go out of their way to complain and write negative reviews, maybe bought a restaurant or something like that, rather than just not going there ever again. Things like that.
This doesn't mean that I don't have moments where I get frustrated or annoyed because believe me, I do, but I deal with my problems. I don't dwell on them.
Let me say that again. I want you to have this phrase in your mind to remind you.
Deal with problems. Don't dwell on them.
I solve the solvable problems. I focus on what's important and I move on.
Choosing to see that every obstacle is growing me and expanding me, even when it sucks in the moment, is super valuable. Our attitude and our mindset is paramount to looking vibrant and having an overall sense of vitality.
Number two, part of what helps keep me in this positive mental state is living a self-centered life. What this means is that I come first, knowing what I need and want, what I think and feel, what my values are and what's important to me, and then making choices and decisions that honor that first.
This is how I am my most authentic self. I speak my truth and I live my truth in this world, which means I'm not repressed.
I don't hold back. I'm not biting my tongue.
That is a toxic way of living. It's toxic to our bodies when we hold that all back and we stuff it down.
We have to allow our true deep self to flow through us and to be free and seen and expressed. And being that freely expressed person prevents resentment and frustration and bitterness, and it promotes fulfillment.
Being your most authentic and real means that your energy isn't spent trying to figure out who to be. You can just be.
And that allows your energy to just flow right through you. And I truly believe that is what makes me look so youthful, and it will do the same for you.
Number three, making sure that I experience joy and pleasure every day. For some people, this means play or vacation or hobbies or activities or being social, but I spend most of my days in a state of joy and pleasure because I love what I do, and I am my own best company, so it's really easy for me to achieve this every day.
It's not about filling my time with activities or people or hobbies. It's the simple things like my morning workouts or my family.
Even though that comes with day-to-day challenges, those are my absolute joy and pleasure. Being outside, almost doing anything outside, like walking the dog, playing tennis, chatting with my neighbors.

If you feel about your work the way that I do about mine, acknowledge that and consider yourself blessed. And if you don't, consider making a change.
But even if you don't, you will have to find other outlets for joy and pleasure every day. There are so many ways to add simple pleasure to our daily lives.
Number four, I operate with abundance towards myself, not scarcity. This is a powerful mindset that allows me to keep my cup full and overflowing, a self-sustaining, regenerative source of energy and fuel.
What does this mean? Well, it comes down to being willing to invest in myself. I don't skimp out or cheap out on myself.
Women especially do this a lot. We forgo the things that we want to do so everyone else can do what they want.
We make time for everyone else and then only do what we want if there's time left over for us. We pay for kids' activities or tuition.
We give money to family members or charity,

and we save ourselves for last, taking the crumbs, the scraps, or the leftovers.

We only buy for ourselves if it's on sale or it's a bargain or if it's a necessity.

But I flip that around and I always invest in myself. I don't live in a state of just

meeting my needs. That is low-level living.
I make sure that my wants are met too. So don't cheap out on yourself.
It's life-expanding to be abundant rather than life-contracting, which is scarcity. If something is important to you, it's important, period, because you're important.
I truly believe that these four mindsets contribute to an overall vitality and energy that keeps me feeling younger and looking younger too. Now let's get into the action-oriented daily habits.
Now to start off with this, I want to talk about the 80-20 rule. I'm sure you've heard about it, which is 80% of the time you're doing the thing that you should be doing or wanna be doing, and then you give yourself 20% wiggle room or margin of error.
Well, for me, it's more like 85-15. So keep that in mind as I share the next few habits.
So the first one, I wake up early between 5 and 5.30 every single day. And in order to do that, I go to bed around 9 or 9.30.
Waking up early is one of my youth and beauty secrets. It gives me time to myself in the morning before everyone else in the house is awake.
I get to have coffee alone in the quiet, and I get to take the time to center on myself. And I just enjoy that time before the hustle and bustle of the day begins.
Next is my morning routine, what I'm doing with this time in the morning. The time I spend with myself every morning is gold.
This is the time that keeps me sane and mentally organized and connected to myself. And I do my journaling and my visualizations.
I put myself in the emotional and energetic state that I want to be in, and I set my intentions for how I want to live each day. The process that I use for this is in the daily journal, which is what I talked about in the episode on how I changed my brain in 90 days.
I will put the link to that episode in the show notes along with the link to the journal just in case you want to check it out. The next part of my morning routine is to work out every single day and always in the morning.
And on top of that, I do it fasted because that's the best way to do it. But this morning workout is hands down why I look the way that I do.
I do it joyfully. I look forward to it because it's fun and I enjoy the movements and I enjoy the music and I enjoy being with myself.
I don't care if people are looking at me at the gym. I'm just doing my thing.
It is fun for me and it's pleasurable and I just get so much out of it. It's another non-negotiable for me.
Okay, an easy habit or rule that I live by is that I never eat after 7 p.m. If it were up to me, I would stop eating earlier around 5, 5.30, but our kids are older now and they have activities, and it's more important to me that we eat together as much as possible.
So for now, where we're at is that we're eating dinner around 6, 6.30, and I'm done by 7 at the absolute latest, and then I'm done eating for the day. No snacking after dinner, no dessert after dinner, period.
Watching TV and snacking is a very unhealthy habit. Even if we eat on the early side sometimes, and I start to feel maybe a little hungry a few hours later, I know I'm just going to go to bed and that my body doesn't need the fuel.
So I don't eat. Again, 85, 15, sometimes we go out, sometimes we socialize or we're at an event.
Okay, obviously, but in our day-to-day life, this is how I do things. So number eight, while I know we're talking about looking young and not necessarily about being fit, these go hand in hand.
So I'm going to share my list of things that I don't do. Number one, I don't drink alcohol, except occasionally when we are out for dinner and then it's only just one and it's usually a glass of wine or I sip on some fine tequila, but no sugary drinks or sugary cocktails, and it's just one.
And I know this is really tough for some people, but I promise you alcohol will age you big time. It is toxic.
I don't eat fast food. This is like a 99% thing for me, not an 85% thing.
Fast food is crap. I don't eat sugar or desserts except on rare occasions, like if we're out to dinner and we're sharing a dessert or on days like today where it's my birthday and I can't wait to eat cake later.
Okay. I don't eat dairy.
It is so bad for your skin and so bad for your gut. I don't eat processed food.
It is so, so bad for you. This means at the store, if it's in a box, a bag, or a bottle, it's a no.
If it's in the freezer section and it's pre-prepared food, it's a no. There are so many chemicals and crap and bad oils in all of that food.
It's a big fat no. We make all of our own salad dressings and all of our own sauces.
It's just so much better. Two more, and this one may be super obvious, but I don't smoke.
That shit is toxic and it makes people look so prematurely old and wrinkly and it's bad for your skin and all the puckering around your lips. It will age you big time.
I don't do drugs. I don't smoke pot.
I don't do gummies or edibles or anything like that at all, even though it's legal. I just don't.
I did a lot of that when I was 20, in my 20s and when I was a teenager, and I grew out of it. And I no longer get anything out of it.
And so I just truly feel like I don't need it. And I know I'm probably sounding like a big fat stick in the mud right now, but honestly, I'm having the time of my life.
I don't need any of that to have fun. And I absolutely love the way I look and feel.
I don't do the sun. I avoid the sun at all costs.
I live in Colorado and it's always sunny here. And I know so many people worship the sun, but the sun will aid you.
So I always wear hats when I'm in the outside, sunglasses, and of course, sunscreen to protect my face. I have olive skin and I get dark just by being in the sun for a few minutes, but I do everything that I can to avoid it.
It's my own relationship with me that keeps me so young, keeps me looking young at 52. It's how I take care of myself, how I talk to myself, how I treat myself, how I consider myself,

how I take responsibility for myself.

That is the number one reason that I look so young for my age.

This transcends all genetics and DNA.

And the good news is it's available to all of us and it's a choice.

It's simply a decision to live this way.

I think we all know what we need to do.

Nothing that I shared today was all that earth shattering.

is and it's a choice. It's simply a decision to live this way.
I think we all know what we need to do. Nothing that I shared today was all that earth shattering.
It's just a good reminder. And it's really about whether you're willing to do it or not.
What are you willing to do to get what you want? You have to decide how badly you want it and what you're willing to do to get it. And for me, a lot of these things just have to be easy,

and they are easy for me. So I hope you picked up something helpful today.
Stick with me,

and I'll continue to be your guide on how to live a more self-centered life, and I'll see you next time.