Shark Tank’s Barbara Corcoran Reveals All + Secrets to Success YOU Can Apply to YOUR Life Today!

Speaker 1 Empowered women empower women. And today we've got an empowered woman who's going to empower you on the show.

Speaker 1 You've heard her say, you've got a deal on ABC's hit show Shark Tank for 16 seasons. Barbara Corcoran is an Emmy Award-winning shark and executive producer on the show.

Speaker 1 She's the founder of the Corcoran Group and her journey to this moment we're all sharing together right now is nothing short of remarkable. Barbara! I came, you came home to me in New York.

Speaker 1 Thanks for having me my town. Yes, good to be honored to be in your town.
It's my town. This is your town.
This is your town. I am so excited for this conversation.

Speaker 1 Barbara Corcoran, welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima Show.

Speaker 1 You are such a badass. You are such a badass.

Speaker 2 You are a professional

Speaker 1 business icon, your business legend. Walking arm in arm with you down the streets of New York City just felt like this.

Speaker 1 It's a moment I'll never forget.

Speaker 2 I think I'm successfully insecure.

Speaker 1 That's such a cool perspective.

Speaker 2 I actually started working on that tape that told me I didn't deserve to be there. I wasn't smart enough.
I wasn't being heard. Why did I waste my time coming? I could be doing something better.

Speaker 2 You have a million excuses why I made a mistake in putting myself out. But then I started changing that that tape little by little, declaring war on it in a way.

Speaker 1 You went to war with those thoughts in your head.

Speaker 1 You proposed to both of your husbands.

Speaker 2 I should have thought about it.

Speaker 1 So you knew, you just knew.

Speaker 2 I knew, you know, it's something about, again, it's your intuition.

Speaker 1 You say one of the secrets to the success of your marriage, you guys have been sleeping in separate bedrooms. That is a secret.
For decades. Can you talk about this?

Speaker 1 Because maybe a bunch of us are getting it wrong right now.

Speaker 2 I have to invite him into my bedroom and it's like, it's his birthday.

Speaker 1 He knows it's like a sure thing.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and I like it because it's a short thing.

Speaker 2 Not sure, S-U-R-E, but S-H-O-R-T.

Speaker 1 Oh my gosh. Can you share a little bit about the boyfriend turned business partner who then

Speaker 1 really liked your secretary.

Speaker 2 He had believed in me. He was a businessman older than me and he knew what he was doing.
And I felt like I would be nothing without him.

Speaker 1 He's your business partner. You're living together.
I mean, your whole life is immersed with each other. And then he says, I'm now going to be with the secretary.

Speaker 2 As I was leaving, he said to me, you know, you'll never succeed without me.

Speaker 1 You had a landlord that thought you were a prostitute. Yes.

Speaker 1 And then you end up turning that around.

Speaker 2 It's one of my biggest accounts, actually.

Speaker 1 Before we jump into this episode, I'd love to invite you to join this community to hear more interviews and one-on-one conversations with me and you to help you truly believe in yourself and trust yourself and know you are enough so that you can become unstoppable in living your best life.

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Speaker 1 Everybody needs Jamie Kern Lima in their life. Jamie Kern Lima.

Speaker 1 Jamie, you're so inspiring. Jamie Kern Lima.

Speaker 1 Empowered women empower women. And today we've got an empowered woman who's going to empower you on the show.
You've heard her say, you've got a deal on ABC's hit show Shark Tank for 16 seasons.

Speaker 1 Barbara Corcoran is an Emmy Award-winning shark and executive producer on the show.

Speaker 1 She's the founder of the Corcoran Group and her journey to this moment we're all sharing together right now is nothing short of remarkable.

Speaker 1 Barbara is one of 10 kids raised in a two-bedroom home. She struggled with dyslexia, got straight Ds in school, and had 20 jobs by the time she turned 23.

Speaker 1 She then borrowed $1,000 and quit her job as a waitress to start a small real estate company in New York City.

Speaker 1 She grew the Corcoran Group into the largest and best known brand in the brokerage business. And Barbara became one of the most successful entrepreneurs in the country.

Speaker 1 From a thousand dollar loan to a billion dollar business, and now she's invested in more than 100 businesses to date. She's also so sharp, quick-witted, and so, so funny.

Speaker 1 Plus, there's something she did to me behind the scenes on Shark Tank that I'm going to share with you that made my jaw hit the floor and made my soul explode like a giant heart emoji.

Speaker 1 I am so excited for this conversation. Barbara Corcoran, welcome to the Jamie Cran Lima Show.

Speaker 2 I'm so looking forward to it so much. Thank you so much.

Speaker 1 I'm so excited. And I just love you.
And thank you for being here. This show is going to be, I already know it, such a blessing and so inspiring to so many people.

Speaker 1 So I want to just right off the top ask you that so many of us get underestimated

Speaker 1 or we underestimate ourselves. And you and your journey have gone from like underestimated to unstoppable in so many areas of life and in your business.

Speaker 1 And what would you say to the person who's watching us or listening to us right now who maybe is feeling underestimated or they're underestimating themselves?

Speaker 2 I think it's very natural to feel underestimated because who you have is what you've had so far. And so it takes a bit of dreaming and commitment to go from where you are to where you want to go.

Speaker 2 So you feel to yourself, I I think, most damaging that you're, to use your phrase, not worthy, or not going to be able to do it, or I just don't have what it's going to take, or I don't deserve it, or all these things.

Speaker 2 But it takes, I think, the beginning of changing the tape in your head. I had to consciously do that growing up as a woman.

Speaker 2 Probably wasn't until I was 30 years old. I already had my business seven years by then, that I actually started working on that tape that told me I didn't deserve to be there.
I wasn't smart enough.

Speaker 2 I wasn't being heard. Why did I waste my time coming? I could be doing something better.

Speaker 2 A million excuses why I made a mistake in putting myself out. But then I started changing that tape little by little, declaring war on it in a way.

Speaker 2 And it took me a number of years to really change it. And my tape that I listen to now are tapes that chore me up.
Things like, you're incredible. You're beautiful.
You're brilliant.

Speaker 2 You're incredible. This guy's really impressed by you.

Speaker 2 What else can you do? So it's a fooling yourself of sorts, but you fool yourself enough times repeatedly and you start to fall for it yourself.

Speaker 2 And if you're falling for it, you're guaranteed that the next guy is falling for it. Because people will...
judge you less harshly than you think they're going to judge you.

Speaker 2 There's a self-consciousness that doesn't need to be paid attention to, really. It just also gets in the way.
What are they thinking of me? But the biggest battle is what do I think of myself?

Speaker 1 Mmm. I love that.
You said you went to war with those thoughts in your head. And did you just create your own new tape that played?

Speaker 1 So anytime you would hear that old tape trying to play, you would like be like, oh, uh-uh, not today. And like intentionally.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I would intentionally do it to wipe out the noise in my head. Because you can't listen to your old self telling you who you're really supposed to be when you're looking for your new self.

Speaker 2 So I think it's impossible. possible to have that tape going in your head and to fight against it.

Speaker 2 So you need to have a more familiar, more friendly tape, however short it is, less damaging tape, I would say.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I love that, though, because it's like you have the power to create your own tape, like, right? You're the musician. So so many people, it's like right now, 80% of women don't believe they're enough.

Speaker 1 75% of executive women deal with imposter syndrome. And that comes from that tape a lot of times that we're.

Speaker 2 But also, I have a theory on imposter syndrome. I have never met a worthwhile person who didn't have imposter syndrome.
I think the more you're self-conscious about maybe, are you the real deal?

Speaker 2 Are you faking it? How did I really get here? And you're answering to your insecurities as an individual. I think that pushes you ahead in a way.
What it does for me, it makes me over prepare.

Speaker 2 It makes me dead serious about what I have to do. Even if I've done it a hundred times before, I think to myself, oh my God, I'm not like preparing for this today.

Speaker 2 I was thinking, oh God, what is she going to talk about? What do I do? And I had clear thoughts in my head of what I wanted to cover.

Speaker 2 And that comes from insecurity. If I was secure, I'd just walk into your set and say, hey, how are you doing? What are your questions? But I'll do a better job because of the insecurity.

Speaker 2 So I'm all for insecurity. I think I'm successfully insecure, but definitely insecure.
And I hope to be for the rest of my career.

Speaker 1 That's such a cool perspective. And I think sometimes people know they're insecure, so then they think somehow I'm not qualified to do what Barbara's done.
I'm insecure.

Speaker 2 You should only know you.

Speaker 1 Do you deal with insecurity a lot, but you just see it as a strength?

Speaker 2 I deal with it all the time because I'm human and it's a human condition.

Speaker 2 But I have to say, because of the changing of the tape in my head, it's helped me tremendously to be less insecure.

Speaker 2 I will usually approach any situation thinking, well, I've done it 100 times. I've prepared really well.
I'm dealing with a nice person. I'm looking good.
My makeup's right.

Speaker 2 So all the supports that you need to get your self-confidence, they might sound trivial, but they all add up. But then when I sit in the seat, I'm about as good as I can get to go.

Speaker 2 Then I have a confidence that probably it's going to go okay because I prepared so well.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I'm so grateful you're sharing this right now because you already know this too.
You are such a badass. You are such a badass.

Speaker 2 I found myself

Speaker 1 a business icon, your business legend. Walking arm in arm with you down the streets of New York City just felt like this.

Speaker 1 It's a moment I'll never forget. And so what I appreciate so much is you're also sharing things that allow everyone else watching us and listening to us right now to go, oh, wow, okay.

Speaker 1 So Barbara feels the way I feel sometimes, and maybe my dreams are possible too.

Speaker 2 Of course, but Jamie, I have to make a confession here. When I walk down the street arm in arm with you, I have one thought, I wonder if I could sell her an apartment.

Speaker 2 It's so in me. I'm not a broker anymore, it's so much in me.
Oh, I thought she would buy a good one. I'd make a lot of money.

Speaker 1 That's amazing.

Speaker 2 I didn't say that to you. I said, nice to see you.

Speaker 1 That is amazing. I am on the topic of apartments.
Oh, my gosh, just, you know, reading your books books and just learning about you firsthand.

Speaker 1 There are so many skills and instincts that you have. Success leaves clues, right? That famous thing, success leaves clues.

Speaker 1 I am so excited to dive into some of these things because I feel like these lessons

Speaker 1 you've learned on all of our behalfs can really help us

Speaker 1 in so many ways in all areas of life, whether it's personal life or business.

Speaker 1 And I want to ask you especially because, oh my gosh, people talk about now the glass ceiling and now the challenges, you know,

Speaker 1 being a woman in business, all of that.

Speaker 1 When

Speaker 1 your entire journey, I mean,

Speaker 1 do you think that being underestimated can actually, that you can use being underestimated to your advantage?

Speaker 2 Of course. Listen, when I started my business, it was a men's world.

Speaker 2 All the businesses were owned by men. They were worked by women.
There was no woman in sight. So I felt initially that I had some disadvantage.
Was not the case. I was invisible.

Speaker 2 There's a great power to being invisible and coming up from the rear and taking over. And that's exactly what I did.

Speaker 2 I was able to steal my competitors, which are much bigger than me, their positions in the market because I stole the limelight from them and they weren't getting media coverage.

Speaker 2 That's really what I used to build my business. But certainly,

Speaker 2 being invisible is a wonderful, wonderful advantage. I can't say I ever thought of myself in business as a woman.
I don't think there was a day I thought, oh God, I'm a woman. It's a disadvantage.

Speaker 2 I'm a woman or whatever. I just thought of myself as a competitor.

Speaker 2 If I sat next to a man who owned the biggest firm in town and I was a nobody and he was treating me as a nobody, I would just say quietly to myself, not very nice, wait till you see what I'm going to do to you.

Speaker 2 I would dwell on it and really plot how I was going to get that guy because he showed me no respect and I wanted to get his respect. Why did I care? I'm not even sure why.

Speaker 2 I guess it was because I was insecure again.

Speaker 2 But I needed to win the respect and there was only one way to win the respect and that was not by saying something clever or wearing the most beautiful suit or whatever.

Speaker 2 It was about being smarter and more aggressive than him. And so I made it my point to be smarter and a lot more aggressive than him to win the day.
And I think that's important for a lot of women.

Speaker 2 A lot of women that I deal with at Shark Tank very often will say, what about me being a girl? Forget about the fact you're a girl, you're a woman, forget about it.

Speaker 2 Just think of yourself as a competitor.

Speaker 2 Just think yourself that way. And it becomes part of you.

Speaker 2 I think of almost like an animal. I would compete for things I didn't even want, which is really sick.
I needed to shrink. But I got that, that whole thing going in me really good.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you, when you think about

Speaker 1 your success, do you think

Speaker 1 that smarts or grit played a bigger role?

Speaker 2 Certainly grit. I mean you need to have great judgment in business.
You need to have a gut instinct.

Speaker 2 You have to need you need a street smarts, not a book smart, kind of a headset so you can intrinsically feel this is the right move and trust your intuition that you're making the right move.

Speaker 2 And you'd be wrong some of the time, but you have to be right most of the time. So I think I learned to do that.

Speaker 2 Within business, I believe that grit is far more important and grit takes a lot of forms that are essential in business.

Speaker 2 The best grit in the world is when you knock down a punch in your gut and you stand back up. That takes a lot of grit and certainly that can be part of life as well but I've had a personally

Speaker 2 unusually easy life I'm very thankful for but I think with your personal life I think smarts is more important and it isn't just the smarts of having answers which I used to think I had for any situation but it's the smarts of listening.

Speaker 2 The smarts of thinking you don't have the answers. The smarts of being curious enough to see if you open this door what's going going to happen.
You don't always have to have that in business.

Speaker 2 But in personal life, if you want to develop yourself and be a better person, I think you have to be smart about how you're living. And I think for me, it's more holding back than giving forward.

Speaker 2 And in business, it's more blasting through doors and opening up and

Speaker 2 having a lot more grit about what I do, a sense of what I have to hustle out of this situation.

Speaker 1 What role does your intuition play in business, also in your personal life as well? Friendships, decisions?

Speaker 2 Everything, you know, what is intuition? I don't really know, but in my mind, I think intuition is a summation of everything you've learned to date.

Speaker 2 It just gets inside you and blends and mixes up and stuff. So I think if you're in a situation, I've been in many situations where I've challenged my gut.

Speaker 2 Like I can't really logically see what's wrong with this person or the situation and everything sounds right. And I go for it, particularly on shark tongue.
Boy, have I learned to ignore that.

Speaker 2 Now I ignore the businesses and just look at the individual. And if my gut says I trust the person and they're a winner, I go with it, even if I can't explain why.

Speaker 2 And when my gut says something's wrong here, I trust it and I don't go with it. Because you really have to learn to trust your gut.
If you're half smart, you're learning as you go.

Speaker 2 So your gut tomorrow is going to be better than your gut today. And there's no sense in challenging whatsoever, I don't think.

Speaker 1 I think a lot of people second guess it. You know, terrible.

Speaker 2 You even know on your SATs not to second guess.

Speaker 1 That's true. It's usually wrong.
Well, so many people refer to you as a strong strong woman. And when I think of a strong woman, you proposed to both of your husbands.

Speaker 2 I should have thought about it.

Speaker 1 Can you tell me about that?

Speaker 2 Sure, I proposed to my first husband, who was when I was 30, he was seven years younger than me, but he looked older than me. That kind of counted a little bit.

Speaker 2 But we were dating probably two weeks when I said, what's your intention? I was. close to 30.
I wanted to be married by 30. I had that little deadline.
He said, what do you mean? We just dated you.

Speaker 2 I said, You have a week to decide. Are we going to get married or not? I'd like to marry you.
And the week went by.

Speaker 2 He was very nervous the whole week, but on the seventh day, he says, Okay, let's get married. That lasted seven years.
The lesson in that is to think about it. Wow.

Speaker 2 Maybe being aggressive wasn't so good. Now, with my second husband,

Speaker 2 of course, I just flat out proposed to him right away because I knew he was the love of my life and we were going to have a great marriage. We've been married close to 30 years.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, Bill. Bill.
So, you knew, you just knew.

Speaker 2 I knew, you know, it's something about, again, it's your intuition.

Speaker 2 Both husbands, well, I was wrong on the first, but he was a lovely man, and we had a happy six out of seven years, I guess.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 You know, but it's something about the way someone holds your hand immediately. You read so, me anyway, I read so much into that hand as to whether I trust that person.

Speaker 2 And I felt like I was going to be protected forever with both of my husbands. Who knew I had to do the protecting?

Speaker 1 Oh, my gosh.

Speaker 1 You're a a great protector, though. I am.
No, you are. You're a great person.

Speaker 2 Don't mess with my people.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. I have to say, like, I walked on the set of Shark Tank, and I didn't know what to expect.
You know, I had no idea. I'll get into Shark Tank.

Speaker 2 You looked like you were red at home. The minute you sit in that seat, you looked like you were at home.

Speaker 1 Oh, well,

Speaker 1 I knew I'd put in the reps.

Speaker 1 I knew I'd been through every phase of whatever entrepreneur is going to walk through that door. I know I've lived what they're going through wherever they're at in their business.

Speaker 1 And also I'm so respectful that it's your show. It's the Sharks show and the team there.
And I'm walking onto the set. And

Speaker 1 I have to say, you

Speaker 1 were the biggest surprise and blessing in the way.

Speaker 2 How nice of you.

Speaker 1 I felt like you were the protector of me in a way.

Speaker 2 Well, you're a woman. I had a woman on the set, my team.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Yes. And you just,

Speaker 1 oh my gosh, came right up to me. And when you handed me that list of questions that helped you 16 seasons ago when you started, you're like, you know, if these can help you next time.
Cheat sheet.

Speaker 1 Cheat sheet because you got to hop in. You got to get in there.
And I was like, just looking at you. And I remember those words just kept going through my head.
Empowered women, empower women. Yes.

Speaker 1 And we don't always see that. And I just felt like you were this, yeah, like you wanted me to win.
And that felt so good.

Speaker 1 So thank you for that.

Speaker 2 And that is my actually natural secret sauce.

Speaker 2 And it wasn't just because you were a guest on the set, but I think what I do well particularly with the people that care to follow me in life in whatever capacity working friendship whatever I think I do very well in empowering people because I really see the best in them when you sat on that seat I said she's at home she's pretty she's confident she's had enormous success she's going to be a winner I knew that right away so how much empowering does that take but you also see people in life who don't have all that going for them but I could see the light in them I know what they do well I know how to bring it out.

Speaker 2 That is my secret sauce in building businesses, no doubt.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And it's been fun, you know, as a viewer, so many people watching us right now or listening will relate to this.
It's fun to watch you see that light in people. I remember the

Speaker 1 pork belly. pig barbecue sauce

Speaker 1 and you saw that light in him and and yes he resembled a really cute pig but also you saw like that light and and he got on board with it you know and that was fun to see and yeah so you're that's so i called him the pig that was an easy season.

Speaker 2 And my producer wouldn't air it. He said, you don't call people a pig on set.
I said, he likes it. He likes looking like a pig and he needs it for his brand.

Speaker 2 I had him write a letter to my producer and say, please let that comment stand. I love looking like a pig.
And it went on air. And it went on air.

Speaker 1 And he's very trim. And it was more just his face was so sweet like a baby pig.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I got it. Yeah.
Oh, I totally got it. And I saw it right when you said it.
I'm like, I see that. I get that.
I see the brand. I see it.
Just all of it.

Speaker 1 And so, yeah, you do see the light in people.

Speaker 1 You know, on the topic of husbands with your husband, Bill, now, you say one of the secrets to the success of your marriage, you guys have been sleeping in separate bedrooms

Speaker 1 for decades. Can you talk about this? Because maybe a bunch of us are getting it wrong right now.

Speaker 2 Well, I think there's something to be said about your own private space. Yes.
I

Speaker 2 lead a very busy life. I have a huge family that I'm always entertaining.
I have very sincere, active friends. And so what I need more than anything else is a respite.
And my husband is not relaxing.

Speaker 2 He has more ideas on his head that make no sense. And for me to come up with the energy at the end of a day to listen to him and to nod and to contribute to the conversation, I run a little short.

Speaker 2 Better I go to my room and I have an hour to myself. If I go to the living room, my husband follows me.
I go to my bedroom, he doesn't dare come in.

Speaker 2 I have to invite him into my bedroom, and I like it that way. He's never invited me back because he knows I'll never come into his bedroom, but I have to invite him into my bedroom.

Speaker 2 And it's like, it's his birthday. How old are you, Bill? Come on in.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 yeah, can you talk about that? Because does it make it like, you know?

Speaker 2 Make sex better? No. But he thinks it does.

Speaker 1 Ah, because he knows it's like a short thing.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and I like it because it's a short thing.

Speaker 2 Not sure S-U-R-E, but S-H-O-R-T.

Speaker 1 Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 And I saw online that you dressed as Taylor Swift and him as

Speaker 1 Travis Efficiency. So so

Speaker 1 when you guys invite each other, so I thought he invited you to One Way Street, too. Remember, it's a one-way street.
One-way street, yeah. Okay.
Has he ever tried to invite you?

Speaker 2 Yes, and I said, no, thank you. That's why he hasn't come back.

Speaker 1 He hasn't come back. And so he waits for the invitation.

Speaker 2 Yes, he does. It's less hurtful.

Speaker 2 And then is it like, do you guys do like special nights or like was the taylor swift thing one of those invitations no i'm afraid it wasn't me looking like sexy taylor swift bill had no idea who she was he wouldn't be turned on for he thought it was kind of odd but i'll play along with you no my idea of a special night with my husband at this is a good game of scrabble he'll often say to me s or s and i'll say scrabble because the first s means sex and i'll say no scrabble

Speaker 2 and i love beating him at scrabble and he loves beating me at scrabble And that's a great night. That and a glass of wine for me.
It makes a great night. That's a great.
Because I go to my bedroom.

Speaker 1 Because it's your bedroom. That's like the best night with a friend, too, Scrabble and wine.

Speaker 2 Yes. Did you play Scrabble? Yeah.

Speaker 2 I could beat you, I'm sure.

Speaker 1 I bet you could beat me.

Speaker 2 I know all the little cheat words, you know?

Speaker 1 I bet you do. I'm not like sharp on it.
I've played with my husband, but I'm telling you, he cheats at Scrabble. Oh, then I get mad.
I know, and then he'll debate, and I'm just like, okay, uh-uh.

Speaker 1 But I love Scrabble and I love wine. So there you go.
I might knock on your bedroom door one night and see um

Speaker 1 okay

Speaker 1 so many incredible

Speaker 1 relatable things that you've gone through that I feel like how you've handled them are so inspiring and can you share a little bit about the boyfriend turned business partner who then

Speaker 1 really liked your secretary. There's so much more coming up in this episode.
You are not going to want to miss it. But first, I wanted to share this with you.

Speaker 1 In life, you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self-worth.
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Speaker 1 Imagine a life with zero self-doubt and unshakable self-worth. Get your copy of Worthy, plus some amazing thank-you bonus gifts for you at worthybook.com or the link in the show notes below.

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Speaker 1 Imagine, what would you do if you fully believed in you?

Speaker 1 My weekly free inspirational newsletter is packed with tips and tools to help you find out. It's called One-on-One with Jamie, and it's delivered right to your inbox each Tuesday morning.

Speaker 1 It's a love letter from me to you, from my soul to yours. And I hope it brings you the words and messages you need at just the right moment.

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Speaker 1 And here's to becoming unstoppable together. And now more of this incredible conversation together.
Can you share a little bit about the boyfriend turned business partner who then

Speaker 1 really liked your secretary?

Speaker 2 Oh, he definitely liked Tina. No doubt about it.
Yeah. Well, I had been in partnership with my boyfriend for about seven years.

Speaker 2 When he came home one night, because I was watching his three children I was misses mom sort of but I came from a family of ten kids that was nothing to me it was quite normal and he came home one night when I was making the pasta and he said I have something serious to discuss I'm going to marry your secretary and I immediately said Tina the bitch

Speaker 2 who was perfectly fine the day before but my mind

Speaker 2 and he said yes but take your time moving out and I took about a minute grab my toothbrush was out of there

Speaker 2 that for me was a very tumultuous time a negative time a time when I questioned my very being because after all he had found me in my hometown.

Speaker 2 After all, he had loaned me the $1,000 to start my business. He had believed in me.
He was a businessman older than me, and he knew what he was doing. And I felt like I would be nothing without him.

Speaker 2 How I ever concluded that, I have never, I've never even wondered really how I got there, but there I was nonetheless.

Speaker 2 And then Tina was 10 years younger than me, had long blonde hair, was much prettier than me. That didn't help at all.

Speaker 2 And when they moved into my office together and they started giggling and holding hands and I had to watch that through the glass, well, I just thought my heart would break in a hundred pieces.

Speaker 2 But I stayed with it for a good year. And then finally, one day on a Friday morning, I walked in and said, Ray, we're ending the business today.
We have 14 people. We're chopping them in half.

Speaker 2 You pick the first one. I'll pick the second.
We'll go right down the line. It probably took us eight minutes to divide the company.
He was in shock.

Speaker 2 And in shock, as I was leaving, he said to me, you know, you'll never succeed without me. And that was the gift of a a lifetime.

Speaker 2 That burned in my soul and stomach like nothing I had ever heard in my life. And I knew as sure as I knew anything that I would never fail.
I just knew I would never fail.

Speaker 2 I thought I would rather die than let him not succeed. So if I die, I'm dead.
So what are you going to talk about, you know?

Speaker 2 But while I'm alive, I was never going to let him see me not succeed because I was angry. Probably not the right place to come from, insult, to gather your power from insult.

Speaker 2 I would like to think that I don't do that, but I do. If someone insults me or writes me off, it fuels me.
It just gets me really going, really going. And that's exactly what happened.
And

Speaker 2 that was the founding of the Corcoran Group. And I named it the Corcoran Group because I knew I was going to need every ounce of my seven people's energy as a group to bring us through.

Speaker 2 I had so little resource. The odds were against me.
But they were phenomenal, my people. They band together.
They supported me. I supported them.

Speaker 2 And we became a powerhouse, like a company of girls that took over the boys network, you know? It took a while, it took me close to 15 years, but in 15 years I realized he was definitely wrong.

Speaker 2 I did succeed with Adam when I sold my business for all that cash of 66 million.

Speaker 2 So I have often thought, thank God I got that insult because I don't even know if I would have really made it through all the tough times, the obstacles you have to overcome in any business if he hadn't given me that insult, really.

Speaker 2 Isn't that weird?

Speaker 1 It's it's like I need a good psychiatrist why do I need an insult to get going you know well you know I think about when you what you just shared you said you know before that insult had happened and you know he ends things he's he's your business partner you're living together I mean your whole life is immersed with each other and then he says I'm now gonna be with the secretary but if they fell in love you know looking back in hindsight some they fell in love of course that was gonna happen yeah They probably didn't plan it that way.

Speaker 1 Well, when you said,

Speaker 1 when you shared just now, you, you, you know, felt like you were nothing without him.

Speaker 1 I think so many people relate to that because they feel that way about their current partner or an ex or something like that.

Speaker 1 When you, when you got to that moment, Barbara, where you made that decision that you're going to say no more, we're going to split. the business, we're going to part ways.

Speaker 1 How did you get, how did you get to that moment?

Speaker 1 Because a a lot of people don't get to that moment.

Speaker 1 They stay in something where they know like, oh, this relationship isn't good for me or I'm not happy or somebody's not, maybe it's a business partnership.

Speaker 1 This person isn't respecting me or a friendship. This person doesn't love me or treat me like a friend the way I treat them.

Speaker 1 There's a lot of people that have this fear of I'm nothing without them and they stay in it. How did, how do you think?

Speaker 1 that you got to that place where you made that decision.

Speaker 2 I'm gonna I'm gonna part with it, not the best motivation, but I think think anger got me to the decision

Speaker 2 because I always saw them having fun and having each other and planning their wedding. They were married very quickly, so I guess it was meant to be.
And I had nobody. That's how I felt.

Speaker 1 I think I got tired of being a victim.

Speaker 2 I don't think I'm a type of personality that plays a victim, but I

Speaker 2 suddenly recognized the victim in me. That I was thinking, oh, poor me, that was so unfair.
That's unfair. And I think I stopped looking for the excuses not to leave.

Speaker 2 It was like I felt that maybe he was right. I couldn't do it without him.
Maybe I didn't have enough finances, which I definitely didn't. Maybe I owe too much money, which I definitely did.

Speaker 2 All the real reasons you don't do things, they're all real. The left brain was my brain thinking.
And I knew it was, just should, I should wait it out and see, see where it goes.

Speaker 2 But then I just got tired of it. I got impatient.
And you know what? Those are the best decisions, I think. The best decisions are the ones where you do it from an emotional place of power.

Speaker 2 And I think I just got powerful in that moment. If I had waited till the following Monday, I'm not sure I would have done it.
But I felt able, like, we're going to do it.

Speaker 2 And when I gathered my seven people in the little foyer that we had, they said, yes, guess what? On Monday we're moving. Where are we going? It's a surprise.
I'll never forget that.

Speaker 2 And they were like, woo!

Speaker 2 So we made it a good thing. And by Monday, we were open in a new space and up in business.
I can't say it was easy

Speaker 2 to get going again when I thought I had a certain stride in the old company. But I kept thinking to myself, it's mine.
It's mine. It's not 51% raise.
It's mine.

Speaker 2 The 51% was never a problem until I knew I could get 100%.

Speaker 2 And then it was a big problem. I was happy to leave it behind.

Speaker 1 Yeah. When he said those words to you, you'll never succeed without me.

Speaker 1 What was that feeling like? Like, do you remember where you felt it or what it felt like?

Speaker 2 Nausea. Nausea in my stomach that it's probably true.
That was the bad part. That I was, he was probably right.

Speaker 2 And then right after that, kicking in, I wouldn't say the word ever.

Speaker 1 You can't. That was, that's what I said, you know? Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then the gumption came up in your chest. You don't know what you're capable of until you're put against a wall.
None of us do.

Speaker 2 You know, you don't know really how you're going to feel and how you're going to respond and what you're going to do until you're tested. Your metal's tested, shoved up against the wall, you know?

Speaker 1 It brings brings out good things in people you know you um in that in that

Speaker 1 parting of ways you talk about a lesson about always give the other person the bigger piece oh yes for my mom can you share a little bit about that it was such a good

Speaker 2 when we were kids we would have meals at our table every night at six o'clock yeah my mother was a cook not a very good one but she always got us fed think of feeding 10 kids breakfast dinner and we had lunch at school of course but my mother would make her best dish, which it sounds silly, was veal parmesan.

Speaker 2 And she'd have the pieces of veal under red sauce with little pieces of cheese on top.

Speaker 2 So when she put the platter on the table, which had 12 pieces in it, you only had a split second to decide which was the bigger piece. You were guessing with your fork.

Speaker 2 You wanted to stab the one where you got the most. You know, it was normal in a big family with not a lot to eat.
So

Speaker 2 we would go, and just as you stabbed it, if you were first, my mother would say, mm-mm-mm, Barbara, or for your brother the bigger piece. Okay, John, you want this one?

Speaker 2 We hated it growing up, but what do you think I said to Ray on that Friday morning? Not take the bigger piece, but you go first. You pick the best salespeople.

Speaker 2 Because my mother would always tell us after we gave away the veal or the hamburger, whatever it was, doesn't it taste better? Doesn't it really taste better?

Speaker 2 And we would chew a smaller piece and think, yeah, it tastes better. Like you got a reward right here on earth.
So she instilled that in us. And so

Speaker 2 I always try to do that. You feel great about yourself, especially if somebody's doing you wrong.

Speaker 2 You just be sweet and turn and help them out. Oh, you feel like a million bucks.
The easiest way to get happy.

Speaker 1 I thought it was so genius because you, I know you talk about in your book, Shark Tales, you talk about how

Speaker 1 you knew that he knew there was one salesperson that, you know, produced more than everyone. He took her.
And he took her.

Speaker 1 You knew you'd take her but that wasn't actually what you needed you needed the person who had the skill set to help you build next as an investor yeah and uh and so it was so smart and strategic because you gave him the bigger piece by saying you pick first and then he takes the top producer he thinks he wants

Speaker 1 you get who you want and then from there

Speaker 2 he scratched his head wondering why I picked Esther as my first pick she was a middle wrong producer. It wasn't a superstar.
I had other people that were producing a lot more than her.

Speaker 2 But in Esther, I found my opposite. She was great at systems.
She was left-brain all the way, great at taxes, great at legal, great at the banks getting financing for me.

Speaker 2 She was great at everything I had no patience for. And I was great at the things that she wasn't good at.
You know, marketing, I was super at that. PRs all the way.
Advertising, I was great.

Speaker 2 Recruiting people, I knew how to do. I knew all the stuff that she wouldn't touch if I forced her to.

Speaker 2 So together, we were able to able to build that business because she was strong as a container and I was a strong expander. And we shot that business up, but I couldn't have done it without Esther.

Speaker 2 I was smart to pick Esther first. When I had Esther in my camp right away, I thought, well, now I have a shot.
I have a shot.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. And then you left it in a way where he thought he won.
Oh, he won. Which probably then made it an easier trend.

Speaker 2 Short term he won. I had the long-term, the long-term game plan.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And just how creative you were and resourceful and all of that. You had a landlord that thought you were a prostitute.
Yes,

Speaker 1 and then you end up turning that around. Can you share?

Speaker 2 One of my biggest accounts, actually. I was only in business about six months.
I didn't have an office, so I was meeting people in my living room on East 86th Street, an apartment house.

Speaker 2 I shared with my two roommates. During the day, a lot of men would come up because I had a great account that I went for and got, which was a Citibank account.

Speaker 2 Every new trainee was sent to me, which was a gold mine, really, for a new kid in business.

Speaker 2 And so my super saw me entertaining men all day long. I'd see

Speaker 2 men come up and then I'd leave a half hour later with the man. And he reported me as a prostitute.
So I came home one night to eviction notice and I read it. It didn't say you're for prostitution.

Speaker 2 But I realized, I couldn't think, I paid the rent, we were quiet, we were neat. I went through the boxes and then I realized he probably thinks I'm doing something illegal.
And Mr.

Speaker 2 Roche said, we think you're a prostitute. But what was fortunate about that visit, I went to visit my landlord.
I did not want to be evicted. And I told him, you think I'm a prostitute? Why?

Speaker 2 I almost was a nun. He was Catholic.
I really wasn't almost a nun, but I told him that to make him feel secure about me.

Speaker 2 But I told him how much rent I was getting for his major competitor three blocks away because I was smart enough to build a wall between the living room and

Speaker 2 the L of the living room and the living room. calling it a two-bedroom versus a one-bedroom.
And I told him I was getting $30 more a month.

Speaker 2 His eyes lit up and I got his whole building, his listings of like 35 apartments to rent. So it went from being accused of a prostitute, almost getting

Speaker 2 evicted, and to him wanting more money, the same God that so many people follow. Can you get me more money too? And that's exactly what I did.
And that was my first real account.

Speaker 1 It was so brilliant because there's people out there too that think.

Speaker 2 It's also lucky, I must say. A little bit of luck helps there.

Speaker 1 I think like so many people think maybe they watch, you know, Shark Tank or they, whatever.

Speaker 1 And they're like, well, I don't have, you know, I haven't created a new product but sometimes you can just improve on a product as well and be so strategic generally the best businesses I think yeah and you taking

Speaker 2 even so many of the the one bedrooms adding a wall and now it's a one bedroom plus den now it's common in New York City yeah they call it a junior four legally they weren't allowed to call it two bedrooms anymore but it's the same configuration it's no longer a one bedroom it's a junior four that's amazing it's amazing and so you made something

Speaker 1 and unique out of something that was there just by making a slight tweak to it of course yeah everybody wanted more space in new york you don't get any oh an extra space oh

Speaker 1 yeah yeah no it's like i think about um i think about you know if i were shopping for apartments looking for a one bedroom but then you have the same one bedroom floor plan you put a slight wall in there and the this particular ad says one bedroom plus den at the same price

Speaker 2 yeah everybody called me yeah why would you get a one bedroom for $320 when you get this one-bedroom den for $320 also?

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 This is like a brilliant lesson, like a brilliant business.

Speaker 2 I used to spent the rest of my life in marketing and trying to make anything that was not saleable look saleable.

Speaker 2 Anything that had obvious flaws to someone's eyes to make those same flaws look like an asset. I think you could do that with any product in life, any situation in life.

Speaker 2 If you just stop and really think about it, what do they want to hear? What do they want to see? What do they want to do?

Speaker 2 what do they want to have confidence in and if you actually can slip yourself to the other guy's shoes you could usually

Speaker 2 think

Speaker 2 very smartly about what you should deliver and if you can't think of it I have used my staff my whole life a generation of ideas I don't do now I don't think I have really anything original left in me I don't know if I've done an original idea in years but my staff whether it be the real estate staff the media staff they always generate great ideas and as long as you have people popping them out, you could always think of something.

Speaker 2 Always.

Speaker 1 What you just said about understanding what the other person wants.

Speaker 1 It's so sales. Yeah.
Well, and it makes me think of no better example than when you say you out-trumped Trump.

Speaker 2 Oh, yes.

Speaker 1 So you were putting out the

Speaker 1 Corcoran report. Okay.
And then, and you were doing the top 10

Speaker 1 condos for sale. And that was, by the way, so innovative, right?

Speaker 1 To be be building your business. Like, well, you know what? I'm going to put out a report.
So now, here's the Corcoran report. We're going to put it out there.

Speaker 1 We're going to show everyone the top 10 condos, you know, in all of Manhattan. And now all of a sudden, that's a thing that you created.
Now it exists.

Speaker 1 And then Trump wasn't so happy that his condos weren't in it.

Speaker 2 No, not at all. Do you know?

Speaker 2 My mother had taught me something very contrary, that if you really are nice, if you wait your turn, the meek will inherit the earth. That was kind of like a Catholic thing, you know?

Speaker 2 I found in New York City, it wasn't that way at all. If you were meek, people ripped you off.
They did whatever they wanted to do to your business. You had to be tough.

Speaker 2 But when I published the Corker Report, I learned another lesson of my own. It's not what you are, but how you appear.

Speaker 2 I took 11 sales, edited them up, made an average sale, and called it the New York City average sale price on 11 sales. That's preposterous.

Speaker 2 It wasn't like I was smart enough to even know what I was doing. And when I printed it up and sent it to a whole bunch of New York reporters at the New York Times, I never got a call.

Speaker 2 But two weeks later, the headline was, New York City prices hit all-time low. That was the power of the Corker Report.
I became a source in New York City.

Speaker 2 Anyone who wanted any numbers on real estate prior to the internet, there were no numbers out there, called me first or only called me.

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Speaker 1 You never know whose life you're meant to change today by sharing this episode. And thank you so much for joining me today.

Speaker 1 Before you go, I want to share some words with you that couldn't be more true.

Speaker 1 You, right now, exactly as you are, are enough and fully worthy. You're worthy of your greatest hopes, your wildest dreams, and all the unconditional love in the world.

Speaker 1 And it's an honor to welcome you to each and every episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show. Here, I hope you'll come as you are and heal where you need,

Speaker 1 blossom what you choose, journey toward your calling and stay as long as you like because you belong here. You are worthy.
You are loved. You are love.

Speaker 1 I love you. And I cannot wait to join you on the next episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show.

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