Hoda Kotb: It’s Never Too Late…To Manifest Love, To Start a Family, To Launch the Business, To Write Your Book, Or to Live Your DREAMS! (Pt 2)

Speaker 1 You recently shared on the Drew Berrymore show that you went on a second date with a new person that a third date is was coming. Yes.
What's going on?

Speaker 2 I did go on the third date.

Speaker 1 And have you met anyone new?

Speaker 1 When you entered this profession, 27 stations rejected you.

Speaker 1 Will you share this? Because so many, Hoda, so many times, I know you and I have this in common. We've gone through so many rejections.

Speaker 1 And I think like, oh my gosh, I could, I almost almost like could have doubted myself out of my own destiny for the person who's just like gotten their heart broken or gotten another reject or sent their manuscript out and no publisher liked it.

Speaker 1 Or, you know, they think, like, oh, my days have passed, my ship has sailed. You know, will you share 27

Speaker 1 rejections and look at you now?

Speaker 2 That's why we connect. That's why we connect.
I burst out into tears. That man single-handedly changed the course of my life in that one minute.
You don't need 27 people to love you.

Speaker 2 You just need to find one.

Speaker 2 And there's always one.

Speaker 1 I'm just thinking about the person listening and watching us right now who maybe they're on their 27th heartbreak, their 27th person cheated on them again, their 27th betrayal, the 27th, you know, manuscript rejection, or the 27th time they stopped themselves from even trying.

Speaker 1 Just recognizing what you need

Speaker 1 to be happy and deciding to make space for that. Because if we still hold on to things that are good enough or fine or the relationship that we should just be grateful for and all, there's no space.

Speaker 1 And you're making space and now you're like, oh, in my life right now, I have space for a fun Friday night.

Speaker 2 That's right.

Speaker 1 And when I know there's space for more, I'll know there's space for more.

Speaker 1 And you also kind of like, with faith, declare the space that's coming. Like, oh, yeah, a new love also is coming.

Speaker 1 And I just find this so inspiring. If you ever need company on FaceTime, I will FaceTime you with a sleeve of Ritz crackers from my bed watching Girl Housewives.
I love it. And we can do that too.

Speaker 2 Together, how they go in your mouth, it's like they melt. You don't even have to chew it.
You just put it in and

Speaker 2 one after the next. The whole sleeve is gone in moments.
Yes.

Speaker 1 The best. Yes.
How did you learn to speak up?

Speaker 1 Because there are so many people who don't think they're worthy of speaking their voice or they think if I'm the real me, if someone saw the real me, then I will not be loved.

Speaker 1 Do you know with absolute certainty God exists? Or do you ever doubt God exists? I've never doubted it.

Speaker 2 Not for one second. No.
I was mad at God when my dad died.

Speaker 2 And I hope that

Speaker 2 they...

Speaker 2 which I always tell them, that no matter what, I'll always be there in some form and that they feel my presence, protecting them, loving them, and watching over them. I hope that's what they say.

Speaker 2 Wow, this is it.

Speaker 2 Hi, guys. I want you.

Speaker 1 You ready?

Speaker 1 You ready? Let's do it.

Speaker 2 And they're all set up in here. How cute is this? Welcome to Jamie Curly Michael.
I'm Jamie Curly Michelle.

Speaker 1 Before we jump into this episode, I'd love to invite you to join this community to hear more interviews and one-on-one conversations with me and you to help you truly believe in yourself and trust yourself and know you are enough so that you can become unstoppable in living your best life.

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Speaker 1 It's incredible to see all of your comments and how many people that you're sharing these episodes with. And I'm just so grateful to be here for you.
And I'm so excited to go on this journey with you.

Speaker 1 So, thank you. Thank you for subscribing and following the Jamie Kern Lima show.
It means so much to me.

Speaker 1 Who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious and so is self-belief.

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Speaker 1 Hoda Kotby is an Emmy award winning, Edward R. Murrow award-winning Gracie Peabody Matrix and Webby award-winning co-anchor of the Today Show.

Speaker 1 She's part of the first ever female duo to anchor the show. She's also hosted the award-winning podcast Making Space with Hoda Kotby.

Speaker 1 She's the author of multiple New York Times best-selling books, a breast cancerous survivor, a mother of two beautiful daughters. And I was a guest on her podcast recently called Making Space.

Speaker 1 And I have to say that is when I truly fell in love with her because I learned she is the exact same incredible woman off camera that she is on camera.

Speaker 1 So here today with you and with me is my new friend, Hoda Hoda Coffee. Welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima Show.

Speaker 2 Jamie Kern Lima is her name. Everybody needs Jamie Kern Lima in their life.
Jamie Kern Lima.

Speaker 2 Jamie, you're so inspiring. Jamie Kern Lima.

Speaker 1 What's so exciting about this is like you make history. You make history with the Today Show, right? Biggest job you can get in this industry.

Speaker 1 And I just am thinking about the person listening to this right now, watching us right now, that may not know that when you entered this profession,

Speaker 1 27 stations rejected you.

Speaker 1 Will you share this? Because so many, Hoda, so many times, I know you and I have this in common. We've gone through so many rejections.

Speaker 1 And I think like, oh my gosh, I could, I almost could have shouted myself out of my own destiny.

Speaker 1 And for the person who's just like gotten their heart broken or gotten another reject or sent their manuscript out and no publisher liked it or, you know, they think like, oh, my days have passed.

Speaker 1 My ship has sailed. You know, will you share 27

Speaker 1 rejections and look at you now?

Speaker 2 That's why we connect. That's why we connect because we both know the feeling of not one person who believes.
And you wonder, not one person outside of our our families who believed.

Speaker 2 When I graduated college, I was sure I was getting a job with no, other, nothing other than my mom was a constant cheerleader. So I just assumed I was kind of good.
So I was like, I still remember it.

Speaker 2 I was like, mom, I'm going to borrow your car and I'm going to go to Richmond and I'm going to go get that job at this station. Okay, you got it, girl.

Speaker 2 You know, my mom was, my mom's from Egypt and she could, she believed like I was the queen. And I still remember I drove to Richmond, dressed and had the whole bit.

Speaker 2 And the news director quickly saw my tape and said, no, no, no, I'm sorry. You're not ready for Richmond, but good luck.
And I was like, I'm not ready. He's like, no, you're not ready.

Speaker 2 I go, is there something wrong with my tape? He goes, yeah, you're not good. You're green and you're not, you don't have it.
But you need lots of at work. So, bye-bye.
Bye. I was like, bye-bye.

Speaker 2 I still remember walking out and he goes, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait. My buddy in Roanoke, he's going to hire.
He's hiring people.

Speaker 2 smaller station than here. And I, you know, he's a few hours.
He's like three hours from here. Why don't you drive there? So I was like, okay, Roanoke? Okay.
I still remember I called my mom.

Speaker 2 How was Richmond? I go, I don't want Richmond. Ma, I'm going to Roanoke because I'm getting that job.
You got it. You can do it.
And I still remember driving to Roanoke.

Speaker 2 And I was like, I remember walking into the newsroom. I'm like, okay, this isn't as great, but I'll work here for sure.

Speaker 2 News director pops a tape in, watches it, stops it. He looks at me and he goes, oh, you are so not ready for Roanoke.
And I'm like, who's not ready for Roanoke?

Speaker 2 I didn't even know what the bar was, but apparently I was way below it. He goes, oh, you're green and you're not that good, but I want to wish you good luck.

Speaker 2 You know, I think you might have a shot somewhere down the road, just not here. And I kept trying to figure out what's wrong with this horrible tape I'm showing.
And he goes, you know, see you later.

Speaker 2 And he goes, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. He goes, before you go, I got a buddy in Memphis.
He's hiring and you may be what he's looking for, blah, blah, blah. And I drove to Memphis.

Speaker 2 I drove across the great state of Tennessee. He could only, he had a small window to see me.
I drove all night. I rolled up on this guy, Ray Pullman, who was a great guy.

Speaker 2 And he took my tape and he watched it and he said, no, you're not ready for here either. And I was like, and he goes, you know, but I got a buddy.
And I just kept driving.

Speaker 2 And I was wondering, as these rejections kept coming, sometimes three in one city, Birmingham was ABC, NBC, CBS, Dothan, Alabama, which is a map dot.

Speaker 2 And I was like, oh, wow, they have TV here. And the guy quickly looked at my tape and said, you are so not ready for Dothan, Alabama.
I was like, oh God, it's over.

Speaker 2 And as I was driving and getting rejected, I used to play high school basketball.

Speaker 2 So I always believed that somewhere, somehow, like someone's going to pull it out, like there's a three-pointer in your back pocket, like you might hit it. So keep going.
Because you don't know.

Speaker 2 Second to go. It's all you need.
Just like, and I kept driving and getting rejected. And after the 27th one,

Speaker 2 I was depleted and depressed. And my mom was like ready for me to come home and bring her back her car so she could get to work on time.

Speaker 2 And I remembered thinking,

Speaker 1 they were right.

Speaker 2 I was roommates with the homecoming queen, who was also really smart and in journalism, and she was the one who was going to make it, not me.

Speaker 2 And that's kind of what I felt throughout much of that time. And that professor who said to me, I'm going to save you some time because they only take certain people in that industry.

Speaker 2 And I'm just, I think that you could be well suited for print or PR, a lot of things, but I just don't think that's your lane. And all those naysayers came rushing back.

Speaker 2 And so I was thinking to myself, yep, okay. So now what am I doing? PR.
I don't even want PR. Like I was, I was into news.
I liked all that stuff.

Speaker 2 And as I was driving home, depressed and playing James Taylor, and because that's what I did, I was like, this is the worst fire and rain, crank it up and continue driving home.

Speaker 2 And I remember I was lost because by then I was just driving aimlessly. And there was a sign, a physical sign that said, CBS, our eye is on you, Greenville, new center 15.
I was like, New Center 15.

Speaker 2 Okay, let me go. Let me go get that rejection.
I need a map. I don't have a map.
And that was when you needed a map. And so I went in there and I'll never forget this guy.
He was five feet tall.

Speaker 2 He's like, hey, girl. I was like, hey, I'm the news director.
I'm like, hi. He goes, I was sports director.
And then Joe Mason promoted me to news director.

Speaker 2 I was like, oh my God, you're the news director. This is amazing.
Anyway, here's the worst tape in history is what my eyes were saying. And he took that tape and I still remember it.

Speaker 2 And I'm looking at this short guy, taking my tape, sticking it in the machine. And I just practically have my hand out, like, give me that, that thing back so I can just.

Speaker 2 and he just kept watching it and jamie i watched him watch that tape and all of a sudden like blood was pumping my heart was pounding i'm like oh my gosh this man is watching this horrible tape he went past the part where everyone ejected it me with standing in front of the tried out house or whatever it was so bad and all of a sudden he stops that tape and he looks at me and he goes He was calling me Hilda when I walked in, but I didn't even correct him because what's your name?

Speaker 2 Hilda? All right. Come on, girl.
I was like, it doesn't matter. Just call me.

Speaker 2 And he goes, Hilda. And I go, yeah.

Speaker 2 He goes, I like what I see. I was like, I burst out into tears.
That man single-handedly changed the course of my life in that one minute.

Speaker 2 Well, you're not going to work in Greenville because this is the big city. You're going to work in Greenwood.
Okay. And you're going to, you'll need your own car.
You got a car?

Speaker 2 I was like, oh, get one. He goes, and you're going to be driving around.
You're going to carry a scanner and sleep with it. You're going to get every fire, every shooting, every, I was like, I got it.

Speaker 2 I got it. I got it.
I got it. Can you edit? I was like, yes.
I mean, all the things I couldn't do, but that man did it. So it reminded me that you don't need 27 people to love you.

Speaker 2 You just need to find one.

Speaker 2 And there's always one. You found your one.

Speaker 2 You found your one. That one moment on QBC, those 10 minutes, you found it.

Speaker 2 You found your sweet spot. And I think the trouble is we often quit before it comes.
And then what? Like, what would have happened? Sliding doors if I had not seen that sign? Then what?

Speaker 2 I would be working in PR? Maybe. Would I be happy? I don't know, but I wouldn't have had this life.

Speaker 2 And I feel like sometimes,

Speaker 2 like, you're wondering, like, when are my blessings coming?

Speaker 2 And I think weirdly, sometimes your blessings come on the other side of the jump.

Speaker 2 They're waiting for you there. They're not coming here.
Why are you sitting here? They're not coming to you while you're sitting here.

Speaker 2 Your blessings are over there until you risk it and take the jump, then they'll come.

Speaker 2 But if you stay safe here and ask over and over, when's it my turn? When are my things coming? Well, you have to risk two. And I feel like that that's something that that showed me.

Speaker 2 Like you jump and risk, my blessing was waiting at Stan Sandroni's door. I didn't know it.
Yeah. You know, you just don't know when it's coming.

Speaker 1 You know, with QVC, they rejected me for years, and I still kept going, kept going.

Speaker 1 And so, in my case, too, it was like finally getting the yes and trusting my knowing that I was supposed to keep going, even when everyone was saying no.

Speaker 1 And I'm just thinking about the person listening and watching us right now who maybe they're on their 27th heartbreak, their 27th person cheated on them again, their 27th betrayal, the 27th, you know, manuscript rejection, or the 27th time they stopped themselves from even trying.

Speaker 1 And it just, when you're driving past that sign, you just had 27 of the rejections. Your mom needs her car back.

Speaker 2 A million reasons to go home.

Speaker 1 Was it, did you have like kind of like a whisper inside? Like, okay, I'm supposed to stop or I'm going to try again. Or what made you stop versus just being like, you know what? Like.

Speaker 2 I don't know what made me stop.

Speaker 2 I think I was truly and honestly depleted. And I think it was like a Hail Hail Mary.
I think I looked at it and I was like,

Speaker 2 last one, like last one. And I did say to myself, like, if this is the 28th,

Speaker 2 I mean, look, how many signs do you need, man, before you're like, okay, because I'm sure you've asked yourself that too.

Speaker 2 When are you being shown that you're supposed to reverse course or change course? Or when are you supposed to keep pounding the brick wall? But I think if you find yourself in the same

Speaker 2 relationship, job type, whatever it is, and you, why does this keep happening to me?

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 2 I think that does raise a lot of questions. Like, there's something there

Speaker 2 that

Speaker 2 needs to be kind of sorted out inside, I think.

Speaker 1 You know, Hoda, with, I used to care so much what people thought. And if somebody, their words would stick and take root.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like if I were in your situation and so many many people over and over, you don't have what it takes, you have what it takes.

Speaker 1 For decades of my life, that would take root and I would replay their words. And it's really been this journey for me of like getting still, praying, going, do I feel that is true?

Speaker 1 Am I supposed to keep going? And I think about, I think about, look at you, like, look at you. Look at you.
You,

Speaker 1 you have, you are the very top that you can possibly be in this profession. And right.
And then 27 knows. I just want everyone to hear this because this is so good in everybody's life right now.

Speaker 1 27 knows. Thank God for whatever reason you chose to do Hail Mary and stop at 28th.
And look at how everything has sort of unfolded, right, in your life.

Speaker 2 I love it. I just, I hear some pray that people.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I think that's so important.
And somebody said to me something on the show the other day. I was interviewing Sam Worthington for a show he's in

Speaker 2 and he gave some profound advice. And he said he heard it from somebody who heard it from somebody.
So he didn't want to take credit for it. But he said, here's how life goes.

Speaker 2 You are surfing and you are riding a wave and you're on top of that wave and everybody's applauding.

Speaker 1 Oh my God.

Speaker 2 Look at Jamie. Look at Hoda.
Look at this one. Look at that.
Wow, wow, wow. And you're on top.
Well, what happens on a wave always, and this is part of life and that's cool.

Speaker 2 This is all cool, is your wave wave goes up and your wave goes down. And behind you are others who are about to catch their wave and you can see them behind you.
You're like, wow, I rode mine.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's, oh, mine's done. Okay, way to go.
And then you watch the next person come and ride their wave.

Speaker 2 But he was saying the magic of life comes from getting on your surfboard and paddling back out because you're going to catch a new wave, a different wave, a wave that's going to take you somewhere else, a wave that's going to be a different ride for you.

Speaker 2 So we're all on these rides. And I think it's sometimes when people hit the peak of wherever their thing is, they're scared like, oh no, now what, now what? I'm going to hang on.
I want to ride that.

Speaker 2 You can't ride on top forever, but you can choose another wave that's coming next. And also acknowledging that others are coming after behind you who are also equally amazing.

Speaker 2 It's like, you know, how when some people do a job and they're like, no one could ever replace me. And then suddenly there's another really good person, like, oh, that guy is pretty good.

Speaker 2 This guy's good too. But it's acknowledging and then knowing that their wave too will have its moment.
But it's about the paddling back.

Speaker 2 And he was saying this in Hollywood because sometimes you're a star and then sometimes we're like, oh, that star fell. And then you go back out and you ride another one.

Speaker 2 And it kind of works in all of life, whatever it is. It's like not everything will ride high, but it's about going back out and giving it another go.
And it'll be brand new.

Speaker 2 It's a whole new experience. You're not trying to catch your same wave.
That wave is gone, but you're going to find one that is super cool. It's going to take you in another way.

Speaker 2 You're like, wow, I didn't know this was going to feel this way to be on top of this guy. You know?

Speaker 1 You know, something I want to just like honor for a second and call out that I'm so inspired by right now, Hoda, is you are so great

Speaker 1 and just at making space.

Speaker 1 And I'm just thinking that's the name of your award-winning podcast. Like, I'm thinking about how your sister said when you were ending your

Speaker 1 relationship of eight years, you know, as we all think to ourselves often, oh, well, what if I don't find anyone else? What if I'm alone?

Speaker 1 And so when people are holding on to that one wave still, the wave is gone, but they're still trying to hold the wave.

Speaker 1 And I'm just like, this through line that I couldn't have anticipated in this interview, by the way, that I'm just in awe over is.

Speaker 1 You have this knowing that you are going to bring a child into your life and your partner's like, well, I'm going to, I'm going to work in the room for now. You're like, oh, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 We've got to make space.

Speaker 2 We have to make space. We've got to make space.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 And then thinking about, you know, going through this profound growth in your own life, which I think is a lifelong journey. And

Speaker 1 just recognizing.

Speaker 1 what you need

Speaker 1 to be happy and deciding to make space for that. Because if we still hold on to things that are good enough or fine or the relationship that we should just be grateful for and all, there's no space.

Speaker 1 And you're making space. And now you're like, oh, in my life right now, I have space for a fun Friday night.

Speaker 1 And when I know there's space for more, I'll know there's space for more.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 you also kind of like, with faith, declare the space that's coming. Like, oh, yeah, a new love also is coming.

Speaker 1 And I just find this so inspiring because probably one of the most common questions I ever get asked is people feeling that they're stuck and that, you know, they think their job is good enough, but they're not happy.

Speaker 1 They've always wanted to try something else, but they're playing it safe. Their relationships not fulfilling, but they don't want to be alone.

Speaker 1 And it's just kind of this life where, and, you know, often when you talk to past generations, well-intended, you know, if we are blessed enough to be raised by well-intended family or chosen family, a lot of them do say to us like, oh, well, just be grateful.

Speaker 1 And they, they, you know, they want us to just have a whatever their definition of success is and please enough people and have the right manners. And before you know it, we're people pleasers.

Speaker 1 We're trying to make everyone else happy and we don't even know what we want anymore.

Speaker 1 And the thing I'm so fired up about right now is like every person listening, Hoda, every person watching this right now, who through your story and the things you're sharing is are going to have revelations in their own life about, well, wait a minute.

Speaker 1 Okay, maybe, you know, this is possible for me. Maybe I will do this.
Maybe love is going to come in this new form in my life.

Speaker 1 Maybe Maybe I need to love myself enough to honor my time and my space and go, what do I actually want?

Speaker 1 What do I actually want? If I'm not pleasing everyone else, what do I actually want?

Speaker 1 And I feel like I'm witnessing this on all of these levels right before me. And, you know, I want to say one more thing.
Like you so beautifully honor friends in your life that have changed your life.

Speaker 1 You're talking about your 60th birthday and you're talking about honoring Jenna and honoring Savannah and honoring Maria Shriver and the impacts they've had on your life.

Speaker 1 And I just want to for a moment honor you for the things that you so vulnerably share because you are the person, you are the friend to so many people at home who don't have a Savannah or a Jenna or a Maria in their life, but they have a Hoda who like is sharing these things.

Speaker 1 And I think that so many people, you know, we learn to believe things are possible in our lives also when we see somebody else that shows that to us

Speaker 1 um so I want to honor that um just for a minute and and I also you know um

Speaker 1 a couple a couple rapid questions that if I don't ask them okay everyone's gonna be really mad okay because

Speaker 1 people

Speaker 1 first of all people are obsessed with your dating life and they're also just

Speaker 1 such big fans of the Today Show

Speaker 1 and of so many different things.

Speaker 1 And I think in big part, they really experience life and friendship and in partnership with you in their home every day.

Speaker 1 So, you recently shared on the Drewberry Moore show that you went on a second date with a new person. That third date was coming.
Yes. What's going on?

Speaker 2 I did go on the third date,

Speaker 2 but I did kind of decide in that space because this person, who's a lovely human being, has a lot of kind of things that are being worked out.

Speaker 2 That I think, I think, what I'm looking for more kind of sim, just simplicity.

Speaker 2 And, you know, I think when you reach a phase, like I was very much a fixer in life, you know, I'll help, I'll do it. And then sometimes you're like, you know what?

Speaker 2 Let's just, let's just pause that instinct because that is my instinct. I'll help.
I'll make it better. What do you need? How can we do it?

Speaker 2 So that is,

Speaker 2 has been tabled beautifully, like nothing funky, all good. Yeah, he's very cute, by the way, extremely handsome.
I'll show you a picture after. Okay, yeah, okay, yeah, but tabled for now.

Speaker 2 Tabled for now.

Speaker 1 And have you met anyone new?

Speaker 2 No, I haven't yet.

Speaker 2 Not yet, it's always my thing. And again, it was funny because Maria was saying to me, What do you have room for today?

Speaker 2 So, as you, you know, look, are you seeking in this moment? And I think I'm into

Speaker 2 the addition process, someone who's adding

Speaker 2 and not subtracting. Like in this moment, I just want addition, you know, because I feel like, you know, when I kind of map my days out and see what free time do I really have,

Speaker 2 it's so limited that you want to make sure that when you have it, that you're spending it with someone who's in the addition business of your life.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's so beautiful.

Speaker 1 There's so much more coming up in this episode. You are not going to want to miss it.
But first, I wanted to share this with you.

Speaker 1 In life, you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams, you stay stuck at the level of your self-worth. When you build your self-worth, you change your entire life.

Speaker 1 And that's exactly why I wrote my new book, Worthy, How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life for You.

Speaker 1 If you have some self-doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, Worthy is for you.

Speaker 1 In Worthy, you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life-changing results, like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back, build unshakable self-love, unlearn the lies that lead to self-doubt and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness, overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome, achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them and so much more.

Speaker 1 Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be?

Speaker 1 Imagine a life with zero self-doubt and unshakable self-worth. Get your copy of Worthy, plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for you at worthybook.com or the link in the show notes below.

Speaker 1 Imagine what you'd do if you fully believed in you.

Speaker 1 It's time to find out with worthy. Imagine, what would you do if you fully believed in you?

Speaker 1 My weekly free inspirational newsletter is packed with tips and tools to help you find out. It's called One on One with Jamie and it's delivered right to your inbox each Tuesday morning.

Speaker 1 It's a love letter from me to you, from my soul to yours. And I hope it brings you the words and messages you need at just the right moment.

Speaker 1 Plus, when you're a part of my free inspirational newsletter community, you'll be the first to get behind-the-scenes content, inspirational messages, and be the first to learn about upcoming events and more.

Speaker 1 It's the place to be, and I sure hope you'll join me there. So, if you're not on the list yet, you can sign up for free at jamiekernlima.com or click the link in the show notes below.

Speaker 1 And here's to becoming unstoppable together.

Speaker 1 And now more of this conversation together.

Speaker 1 You know, you mentioned once

Speaker 1 something that I think was so profound that when you first partnered with Kathy Lee

Speaker 1 on the 10 a.m. hour, and I think it was her late husband that shared this with you about

Speaker 1 making the decision to fully trust your partner. Can you share that?

Speaker 1 Because I think that that is a very hard thing for us to do, whether it is our co-anchor on the Today Show or it's a friend of a person.

Speaker 2 I totally agree. And it was so profound when I heard you say that.

Speaker 2 Well, when we were talking about possibly working together, Kathy Lee said, before we do anything formal, I want you to come meet my family.

Speaker 2 And I found that so incredibly beautiful, I couldn't believe it. So I went out to her house in Connecticut and I met Cody and Cassidy, who everyone saw grow up on Regis and Kathy Lee.

Speaker 2 And I met Frank, her husband, who was an NFL legend and a world-class broadcaster and all the things. And my brother was like, you're meeting Frank Gifford.
Oh my God.

Speaker 2 Like he was calling me and I was, so I was sort of in awe of Frank anyway.

Speaker 2 And he said, well, Hoda, can I talk to you for a minute? And I said, sure. And he said, well, you know, I like you a lot.
You know, we've just met and we're talking and blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 2 And he said, but I know what makes

Speaker 2 an on-air team work, what makes any team work. And he said, you have to trust that they're going to catch you when you fall.

Speaker 2 Because if you're afraid of falling and someone's not going to catch you, you're going to play it safe and you're not going to have a good show. It's not going to be true or real.

Speaker 2 It's going to be, you're constantly going to be stutter stepping. And he said, I don't know about you because I've only just met you.
He said, but she's the most trustworthy person I've ever met.

Speaker 2 And I thought to myself, my gosh, this is...

Speaker 2 This is so profound because he said, you will have an award-winning show.

Speaker 2 And sure enough, I start working with Kathy Lee and she said to me, you know,

Speaker 2 she had lightning in a bottle with Regis and, you know, she wondered if it could ever happen again. And strangely,

Speaker 2 it did.

Speaker 2 Like it became an Emmy winning show and Kathy was more in the driver's seat and all these things happened. And I think it was trust.

Speaker 2 And I think it is interesting that you say in relationships too, because for me to trust in a personal relationship was always much harder than in a professional one, because you could already see what happens at at the end of a professional relationship.

Speaker 2 If you trust and it doesn't work, you're like, well, you know, okay, the show wasn't great, so what?

Speaker 2 But when you're putting your soul in someone's hands and trusting them to carry it with kid gloves and honor you and, you know, protect your shadows and all those things, you know, that I always found much harder, and which I think was probably why some previous relationships didn't work.

Speaker 2 I mean, I remember asking,

Speaker 2 this sounds really weird, but I had a 90 second street wide talk with Jennifer Lopez a long time ago.

Speaker 2 And I asked her, if I were to line up all the men you've ever dated and asked them, what's the reason

Speaker 2 that the relationship didn't work? What common answer would they have? And she goes, oh, I'm going to turn that on you. What kind of common answer would they have? You know, I was like, okay.

Speaker 2 And mine would probably be that I didn't need them enough. Like I couldn't do it on my own.
I've got it. And which is another trust thing.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 hers was,

Speaker 2 if I remember correctly, and I could be wrong, but it was something like,

Speaker 2 they all say I travel heavy. In other words, I have a big kind of inner circle that's with her a lot.

Speaker 2 And that core is the, is her kind of, you know, center. And when you're dating, you're coming inside.
You know, it was kind of like that I have a lot of people around.

Speaker 2 I can't remember, something like that.

Speaker 2 But I remembered thinking about when she asked me, she was like, no, no, I'm turning it on you this time. And she makes a point.
It's like, wow, you know, you really do have to

Speaker 2 surrender a little bit and not control it all and not say, I got it, because then they think you don't need them. And when you don't need them, then they stop asking.

Speaker 2 And then you start resenting, why didn't you ask? Well, you said you didn't need anything. I mean, I don't know.
What am I? A mind reader. And I think the other thing I'm learning as I go through

Speaker 2 my growth and relationships is you have to ask for what you want or you're not getting it.

Speaker 2 You can't assume they understand that you had a bad day and you're a little broody. You have to say, honey, I had the worst possible day.

Speaker 2 Don't be mad at me. I'm taking a sleeve of Ritz crackers.
I'm going in the bed and I'm watching the housewives. Yes.
Come in later after I've fallen asleep because I want to do it this way tonight.

Speaker 2 And just say it, as opposed to keep calm, carry on, pretend, how was your day? You know, and go through life that way.

Speaker 1 Just be if you ever need company on FaceTime, I will FaceTime you with a sleeve of Ritz crackers from my bed watching your housewives. I love it.
And we can do that too.

Speaker 2 How they go in your mouth, it's like they melt. You don't even have to chew it.
You just put it in, and

Speaker 2 one after the next. The whole sleeve is gone in moments.

Speaker 1 Yes. The best.
Yes.

Speaker 1 How did you learn to speak up?

Speaker 1 Because there are so many people who don't think they're worthy of speaking their voice or they think if I'm the real me, if someone saw the real me, then I will not be loved.

Speaker 1 And we're just like so trained to be people pleasers. How, how, have you done that your whole life?

Speaker 2 No, I have not. How did you?

Speaker 1 At what age did you start? Yeah. And

Speaker 1 what, when and how, Hodakoti?

Speaker 2 You're going to laugh. 2021.

Speaker 2 That's when. All those years.

Speaker 2 All those years, all through elementary school, all through junior high school, all through high school, all through college, all through

Speaker 2 all of my early working, all of my dating. It was, let me be what you need.
Let me be what you need. What do you need? I can be that.

Speaker 2 And people saw it as like, oh, everybody likes you.

Speaker 2 But in reality, you can't really be liked by everybody because if you're unique and who you are, like you could be the most.

Speaker 2 you could be the sweetest orange in the bunch and some people don't like oranges, but you're an orange and that's the way it goes. So I think it was years and years and years of that.

Speaker 2 And finally being able to say,

Speaker 2 okay, so that person

Speaker 2 doesn't jive with me or this or that and realizing that that's okay. Like I'm okay with that.
And also, I want to reflect it because I don't want.

Speaker 2 kids who are making everybody else feel good at their own expense. I want kind kids, but I want kind kids who know who they are,

Speaker 2 who know that what is right and wrong. I want kind children, but I don't want people who are so worried about pleasing that they're going to become me, what I was.
And I don't want that, you know?

Speaker 1 What an incredible shift because, you know, in your 50s, that's when it happened. You step into that while you're also now the mom of two young daughters.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 1 Like, think about how different the example they have would be and how profound. This is why, you know, the theme of this episode, just this intention, it's like, it's never too late.

Speaker 2 It's never too late.

Speaker 1 Best days are ahead. Right now, no matter what your age, you could start building self-worth, right? And

Speaker 1 for you to start speaking your voice, saying what you mean, saying how you feel.

Speaker 2 And if your friends say you're not being yourself or we don't recognize, it's okay.

Speaker 2 Because I do think part of that is understanding like you are taking a boat through life and you have people who are in your boat.

Speaker 2 And some people are only meant to go for a while and then they're meant to hop off. They taught you the lesson and it, and some people are going to be in there for life.

Speaker 2 Some people are in for 10 minutes. Some people are in there for five years.
Some people are in there for the whole ride. But I think it's recognizing that this is me now.
This is what I value.

Speaker 2 This is what I care about. And to say, you're not who you used to be,

Speaker 2 right?

Speaker 2 I'm not who I used to be. That's right.
And that's okay. But I think, you know, it's that whole thing.
You attract attract what's within you.

Speaker 2 You end up bringing people into your life who are sort of like you. And I feel like that is, that's what happens when you evolve and change.
And it's like in a relationship.

Speaker 2 I interviewed someone who gave this advice and I believe it. Every few years, reintroduce yourself to your husband or to your wife.
I don't like Applebee's anymore. I loved it for years, honey.

Speaker 2 But we always go on Thursdays. I know.
And I loved it. But now I want to go to Houston's.
I like Houston's. I like the chicken salad with the the peanut sauce.
Like, that's what I like.

Speaker 2 By the way, it's so good at Houston's. If you've ever tried it, I have not had that salad.
Salad. Girl, once you have it, it's over.
And the artichoke, cheese dip, whatever.

Speaker 2 But anyway, it's like, this is me now because I'm different than I was five years ago, three years ago, two years ago. But it's making a statement.

Speaker 2 And then you are reintroducing yourself because you're, you're evolved. Look at you.
I mean, look at me. We're evolved.
We're different. And we can be.
We're allowed.

Speaker 2 We don't have to be the person who we were. And I think that that, to me, is part of it.

Speaker 1 That's so good. Cause so many people, they hear like, you're changing, you're as if that's a negative thing, right? But it's like, oh, no, yeah, I am.

Speaker 1 And it's actually maybe something to consider in your own life.

Speaker 1 But a lot of people don't. And that's okay.

Speaker 2 And I remember my mom, she does this and it taught me a lot about evolving and not being stuck or not being, you know, wanting to changes.

Speaker 2 Her whole advice has always been to me, like, keep falling in love with whatever. I go, what do you mean?

Speaker 2 With a restaurant, with a song with a movie with an experience with whatever once you are falling in love like if you feel stuck which a lot of people i'm sure do we all have and will again but it's like that's the time to experience my mom whenever she gets off the amtrack i made a new friend look come here betty i'm like hi you know i'm picking my mom but that betty's so funny she has a garden and she's telling me betty's whole story we're standing on the amtrak track and i'm listening and my mom is so delighted by this person who she met or this food that she tried.

Speaker 2 And that's the vibrancy that keeps you like in this, in this beautiful part of life instead of the same restaurant on Tuesday, every thought. I meet my friend for coffee.

Speaker 2 That's how the weeks go and that's how the months go and that's how the years go. And that's your life.
You've just described your life.

Speaker 2 Thursdays, Wednesdays, Tuesdays, that's a week, that's a month, that's a year.

Speaker 1 And don't you feel like also if that person is supposed to be in your life, you will continue to fall in love with the same person,

Speaker 1 the same daughter or the same friend and just be delighted.

Speaker 2 Yes, yeah, because your kids are growing in front of you. You have to keep evolving.
Yeah. But with your partner, yes, it's like, wow.
Jenna and her husband are just that couple.

Speaker 2 She always talks about how Henry is evolving with her.

Speaker 2 And I remember we were on some shoot and we were, Jenna and I were in Bermuda doing something. It happened to have been her anniversary.

Speaker 2 So I got up early and Henry was there and he goes, come on, get in the water. I go,

Speaker 2 it was freezing. It was like, I don't know.
He goes, come on, it feels good. Try it.
And I looked at him and I was like, okay.

Speaker 2 And I dove in and Jenna came up. You dove in? You're kidding me.
Because she goes, your hair and the keratin, you just got right in. Like, oh, I got right in.
But I saw what he does.

Speaker 2 He's like, come on. He goes, try it.
He goes, you'll burn a ton of of calories. We don't have to spin.
It'll be amazing. And the water feels so.

Speaker 2 And all of a sudden, so I was, I was imagining what that relationship is. It's try it.
Try it. Let's do this together.
Let's try something. And when Jenna, when Jenna arrived, I was like, I get it.

Speaker 2 I totally get your thing. And I always got her and Henry, but I get it more now.
She actually showed me a picture.

Speaker 2 that he had sent her and it was of her fishing and he wrote underneath her delighted when she pulled a fish up and underneath it said he wrote I love this girl

Speaker 2 like isn't that like that like that's it evolving growing changing noticing the little things yeah like it's it's that is so beautiful

Speaker 1 yeah and falling in love all over yes my husband and I when we worked together oh my gosh because we built a cosmetics together it was 100 hour weeks and when we for over a decade when we eventually sold the business I was like we went through a couple years we're like who are we who are we and just like evolving into like really really knowing who we truly are and i am so grateful for what you just said like you know the the the show the jamie curlima show podcast just launched and and and and he calls me freaking out that it made the top 100 like right all these things and he says now i haven't listened to the first episode yet but i have it playing i have it playing on my ipad so that you get credit for a download okay and i'm like i'm like

Speaker 1 that's love that's it right and i just like those little things just made me fall in love because I'm like, he cares. Sometimes you just want to know, like, someone just tries and they care.

Speaker 1 And, and, and, and, and he knows nothing about podcasts or anything else. He's like, you're going to get credit for a download.

Speaker 1 I'm like, thank you. I love you.
Like, it's just so sweet.

Speaker 1 That's lovely. I know you've talked about your conversations with God.

Speaker 1 Do you feel like, do you know with absolute certainty God exists? Or do you ever doubt God exists?

Speaker 2 I've never doubted it. Not for one second.
No. I was mad at God when my dad died.
Like I had those kinds of things. But in terms of my feeling of God existing, I've never once wavered.

Speaker 2 Like I feel like I feel his presence on me.

Speaker 2 I feel like

Speaker 2 each morning I'll write down something that says,

Speaker 2 Dear God, thanks for this precious day, this day that will only come once this way. Show me your lessons and your love.
Show me everything. And I don't want to miss it.
And I feel like

Speaker 2 it's never wavered from me and it's only gotten stronger. You know, my daughter had an illness, and I had so many epiphanies about God's presence that I felt like kind of took over for me.

Speaker 2 And it just strengthened,

Speaker 2 it strengthened it all.

Speaker 1 When you think of your daughters

Speaker 1 as grown women

Speaker 1 and someone asks them

Speaker 1 about their mom,

Speaker 1 what do you hope that they say?

Speaker 2 I hope that they say

Speaker 2 that

Speaker 2 we were raised by

Speaker 2 a mother who dreamt about us, prayed for us and hoped for us.

Speaker 2 We felt like we were loved and accepted, that she loved us just as we were. She didn't want us to be any different than what we were.

Speaker 2 And that she taught us about life's possibilities. And I hope that they say

Speaker 2 a long long long time ago my mom was on TV we heard but we don't really remember that part

Speaker 2 I hope they remember what it feels like to be held by me

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 2 and I hope that

Speaker 2 that they

Speaker 2 which I always tell them that no matter what, I'll always be there in some form and that they feel my presence protecting them, loving them, and watching over them. I hope that's what they say.

Speaker 1 When you imagine your daughters

Speaker 1 as grown women, what do you hope they think and say about themselves?

Speaker 2 I hope one of the first things they say is that they love who they are.

Speaker 2 that they're not

Speaker 2 pretending that they're just themselves, that they didn't have to do what we had to do through life.

Speaker 2 I hope that they say that they know

Speaker 2 everything

Speaker 2 about themselves.

Speaker 2 I want them to know all the things

Speaker 2 about their background, their extended family, and the family that chose them. I want them to know how big and beautiful their world is.

Speaker 2 but also how small the world is,

Speaker 2 how small it all is, races races and colors and creeds and religions. The world's tiny.
The world's super tiny. And I think that I hope that

Speaker 2 they know exactly who they are and that one of the

Speaker 2 things that they

Speaker 2 will do, and I think this is them innately, is

Speaker 2 to spend their life doing something of service, something in service of others. And they're already doing it without without me even mentioning it.

Speaker 1 Just for the person listening today

Speaker 1 who feels like their

Speaker 1 ship has sailed and all of a sudden they're thinking, well, wait a minute, are my best days ahead?

Speaker 1 What do you say to that?

Speaker 2 I say this.

Speaker 2 First of all, if you believe it is true,

Speaker 2 then it will be. So if you believe that your best years have sailed by,

Speaker 2 you're right. It's like what I tell my my kids, if you think you can or you think you can't, you're right.
So here's what we have to do. All we have to do is do a mind adjust.

Speaker 2 That's all we have to do. We have to change the way we look at things.
I'm standing here

Speaker 2 about to turn 60.

Speaker 2 I've got a seven-year-old and a five-year-old and a career I could only dream about. I am in a place in my life where I feel blessed.

Speaker 2 It's possible. I'm looking at Oprah, who just turned 70, who's living her best life right now.
I see her down the road and I think, wow, that's what 70 is like. Cool.

Speaker 2 That's going to be amazing.

Speaker 1 She runs on the beach.

Speaker 2 Of course she does.

Speaker 1 Like, when's the last time I've run? I don't know.

Speaker 2 Right. But that's what she.
So I think that possibility is around. And if you're around people who tell you there are not possibilities, find new friends and let's start clean slate.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I love it.
Hoda.

Speaker 2 I love you.

Speaker 1 I love you. I love you.
On the show. Everyone gets a special gift.
Oh. I wore these sneakers because i love those sneakers

Speaker 2 sparklers

Speaker 1 and then

Speaker 2 oh my god i'd love first of all your color palette just to die for this is special for you thank you

Speaker 1 because everyone on the jamie cranleima show gets this and then

Speaker 2 can i open it right now yes okay

Speaker 2 are these your sneakers

Speaker 1 Were you a nine and a half? Did I get this right? Yes. You're nine and a half.
I'm a nine and a half. I researched to be able to find these, and we're going to write on them so that they have zero

Speaker 1 monetary value.

Speaker 2 I am dying.

Speaker 1 Are you up for writing something on mine? I'm going to write something on yours. And this is like a tradition on my show.

Speaker 1 On the bottom, you want to know what's funny? I wrote on Oprah's and she wrote on mine. And then

Speaker 1 all her pictures online. I see her wearing the written-on shoe.
And I'm like, yes, yes.

Speaker 2 Okay, this is so cute.

Speaker 1 So I'll write on yours and then let me give you one of mine. I love you.
I love you. Hoda, you don't understand.
I prepped for hours. No, like maybe eight or nine hours with the, to get 37 questions.

Speaker 2 I'm not

Speaker 2 one. Well, because you're amazing.
That's why.

Speaker 1 Love you. You are amazing.

Speaker 2 Okay, let's see. I wrote

Speaker 2 and then flip it.

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 2 I am in love with you.

Speaker 2 I love yours. You are blessed.

Speaker 2 Blessing. Oh, I love it.
I love it. I love it.
Okay, you're you're going to see mine in pictures too.

Speaker 1 If you love today's episode too, my only ask is that you please click the follow or subscribe button for this show on your app and give it a rating or review.

Speaker 1 And then share this episode with everyone you believe in. Share it with another person in your life who could benefit from it.

Speaker 1 Post it and share it with others online or in your community who just might need the words and tools and the lessons in this episode today.

Speaker 1 You never know whose life you're meant to change today by sharing this episode. And thank you so much for joining me today.

Speaker 1 And before you go, I want to share some words with you that could not be more true. You right now, exactly as you are, are enough and fully worthy.

Speaker 1 You're worthy of your greatest hopes, your wildest dreams, and all the unconditional love in the world. And it is an honor to welcome you to each and every episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show.

Speaker 1 Here, I hope you'll come as you are, heal where you need, blossom what you choose, journey toward your calling and stay as long as you'd like because you belong here. You are worthy.
You are loved.

Speaker 1 You are love.

Speaker 1 I love you. And I cannot wait to join you on the next episode of the Jamie Kern Lima Show.

Speaker 1 Do you struggle with negative self-talk?

Speaker 1 Living with a constant mental narrative that you're not good enough is exhausting. I know because I spent most of my life in that habit.
The words you say to yourself about yourself are so powerful.

Speaker 1 And when you learn to take control over your self-talk, it's life-changing. And I wanted to give you a free resource that I created for you if this is something that could benefit your life.

Speaker 1 It's called five ways to overcome negative self-talk and build self-love.

Speaker 1 And it's a free how-to guide to overcome that negative self-talk to build confidence and develop unshakable self-love so that you can dream big and keep going in the pursuit of your goals.

Speaker 1 Don't let self-sabotaging thoughts hinder your progress any longer. It's time to rewrite the script of your life when filled with self-love, resilience, and unwavering belief.

Speaker 1 If you're ready to take charge of your narrative, build unwavering confidence, and empower yourself to persevere on the path to your dreams.

Speaker 1 You can grab your free guide to stop overthinking and learn to trust yourself at jamiekernlima.com slash resources or click the link in the show notes below.

Speaker 1 Who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious and so is self-belief.

Speaker 1 And I'd love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration, which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter that's also a love letter to you delivered straight to your inbox from me.

Speaker 1 If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to jamiekernlima.com to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your one-on-one with Jamie weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you.

Speaker 1 If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy, and love, hitting your inbox. I'm your girl.

Speaker 1 Subscribe at jamiekernlima.com or in the link in the show notes.

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