#2306 - Deric Poston

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So we were just looking at a son in the security cameras in the fucking gym with his stupid hair cut.

Why is he looking?

He looks so crazy!

My friend of his son, hilarious dude.

One of the best, one of the best.

He's fantastic and getting better, man, all the time. He's a guy who's always working.
Nobody writes more new stuff. He writes a lot.
That guy puts me on my ass. Because I always, you know, we've been best friends for the last 12 years.
So I've been watching this whole time. And since we met, him and Brian Simpson, they put you to work.
Yeah, that's important. Because if your friends are slacking, you're like, I can slack off too.
Yeah, or you feel like, oh man, I'm better than my friends. But when your friends are like, every time I see them, I'm like, dude, I saw you yesterday.
You have two new bits and they're good? Yeah. How the fuck? But one of his bits is his fucking hair.
It's Hinchcliffe's fault. Hinchcliffe fucking keeps encouraging, like keep it going, keep it going.
He does encourage it. And I told you, he's getting mad pussy with the hair.
Shh, don't say that. Oh, he's thinking to fuck up his pussy.
You're right, you're right. Hey, hey, you're getting mad pussy.
Really? I thought we were having a wonderful... There's nothing funnier than when your friends pull you aside to complain about a girl that's, like, putting the cuffs on them.
It's the best. Why don't you do things? Why don't you? I heard the haircut.
Why don't you cut your hair better so you don't get mad? You take comedy serious. You don't take me serious.
Look at him. Oh, my God.
He's the man. Look how smooth he looks, though.
He looks dressed nice. He's headlining the Hoyer this weekend with you, right? Yeah, yeah.
We're doing it next week, next Thursday. Oh, next week.
Next Thursday, yeah. Going back.
And then we're doing the belly room, too. Headlining the belly room next night.
Nice. Fucking La Jolla is one of the best rooms in the world.
Yeah. That La Jolla room is fire.
If you get it crushing in there, it's a box. It's a literal box.
It's a kill box. And he's cheating with his hair.
He's cheating. He's cheating.
I won't say the jokes but these hair jokes are just too good. Well, people lose their mind.
It's unfortunate because they think he looks way better with his head shaved. He's a good looking guy.
He's a good looking guy. And since you got him in the gym his chest is filled out.
His back's straighter. I love when I come here and you two guys

are in the gym

and you're by yourselves

no one's pushing you

I love it

I love it

the only thing

because we do every single thing

that we did back

when we were working out

but other than

some days

we look at that cold punch

and we're like

Joe you're a fucking psycho

get the fuck out of here

dude

not getting in cold water

for you today

I'm down to work out tomorrow

if you guys want to do it

of course

alright let's do it

hell yeah

we'll get an old school one in

yeah we'll get an old school one

I'll get in the cold punch

if we're all doing it, I need we all to be doing it. So my friend Sean, who trained Alex Jones, is now training Shane.
He's going to start training Shane. I heard about it.
He puts them through the gauntlets. I told Shane, don't let him kill you.
Don't let him kill you. That's how it makes you back him off a little in the beginning.
These fucking psychopaths. I remember when Hassan did it with him the first time, Sean, he got him to do it.
I was out of town with Schultz, and Hassan called me and goes, bro, I threw up twice. And I go, at the end, he goes, no, at the beginning.
I was like, bro, get the fuck out of here. You gotta build up to that kind of stuff.
That's the thing. Like, Sean's in great shape.
You know, and some, you know, to like coaching navy's heels and you're like come on we gotta go you know like carry the log who's gonna carry the boats that's one thing but when you're a guy like shane and you're on a workout on again off again on again off again like you can't hurt the guy like you gotta like start slow yeah like when we when we started working out what we do start slow real slow I mean you were teaching us how to use the kettlebells let alone going super hard at it Whereas now, you know me and a sign of up their way because now we've done it so many like the rhythm Oh, dude, I'm excited for tomorrow. Yeah, but I was gonna tell you this about a son's hair That's back to it We're seeing him on the security camera go what the fuck are you doing? I was like, he looks like a fucking psycho.
I can't believe it. People love it.
They love it. I'll never forget this.
One night, I'm working the back door of the comedy store. And this is when Theo Von had just, he went from a guy we all knew to he's now Theo Von.
And I'm sitting back there, and he pulled in. And we're just kind of hanging at the back door.
And goes derrick let me tell you something man he goes i was getting 2 000 a weekend before this hair since this mullet i get about 40k a weekend and walked off and i was like am i supposed to get him i literally was like i don't know what i'm supposed to do you know what though it's true but it's not true so it's true that when the haircut came, he got more money on the weekend. But it's also like the haircut freed him to be Theo Vaughn.
I agree. Do you remember when Theo—I remember very clearly the first time I ever saw Theo.
And he was doing a bit about being—not even a bit. He was telling a story, a true story about when he was young, his father was really old.
Like his father had him when he was like 70. Yes.
Yeah, something crazy. And he said he remembers being on acid, lying next to his father, and realizes his father's just dying.
You know what I mean? That's funny. Have you ever been around someone who's like 100 years old? Oh, yeah.
They feel like there's no life force in them. Yeah.
And they're almost trapped in their mind. Yeah.
And he's on acid lying next to him. I was like, whoa, this guy's weird.
What a weird set. And he was talking about all kinds of other stuff too, but it was really fun, but it was interesting.
And then I remember seeing him about a year, a year and a half later, and I couldn't fucking breathe. I was just crying and laughing.
My cousin got bit by a gay guy, so we'll see. I was just like, what the fuck are you saying? What the fuck are you saying? It was the timing and just the material was all over the place in this weird way.
I love a guy like that. Yeah.
I agree. You're right.
The mullet might have just been the little touch, but he was already your favorite to watch. You need something like that to make you feel different.
Like some dudes, I think, like dressing nice on stage because they feel different. Or Burt likes to take his shirt off because he feels different.
Burt could do the same set with a tuxedo on. It would be the same fun.
Yeah, it would be the same fun. It just makes him feel free to let that fucking gut hang out and show everybody he's willing to drink himself to death for you.
Like he's a fucking gladiator, dude. But they love it.
But I do get that feeling of like being free on stage and truly. Yeah.
Because that does separate yourself too of like, oh, this is how I am. Yeah.
You got to learn how to do that some way, right? And some people it's alcohol and some people it's the way they dress. And some people it's weed.
And some people, you know, they have to run, they have to jog before they do a set. Yeah.
I remember seeing Eleanor, she would do dips. You'll catch her in the back and she's just cranking out dips and then she goes up, but then you see when she's up, it's like, oh, that energy had to just, it was just coming out of her.
It's coming out of you. Also, you want to get your heart rate up a little bit so your body is like, and your mind is is like things are flowing really good.
You don't want to be sleepy and then go on stage, right? Yeah. That's the worst thing in the world.
Or a full meal. Yeah.
And go on stage. You want to be...
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I heard Bill Burr say something, but he's just one of the greatest to ever do it. But it always made me go, damn, because I always felt that way.
Like, no, I wouldn't eat before a meal. I'm heard him say once he was like oh i used to not eat before shows and then i got older and i'd fucking have a thanksgiving dinner before a show and go up and talk the whole set about how i had a thanksgiving dinner and how fucking fat i am and how gross we all are in america and it was just like that freedom of like wow he really doesn't give a fuck this guy he well Well, Bill is also amazing at being Bill.
Like, he has his opinions, what he thinks is stupid about something, and he's just, like, locked in. Yeah.
You know what I mean? Like, there's no, like, some comics, like, you'll see one of their hours, and it's kind of like one kind of energy, and then the other hour, it's like kind of a different kind of energy. Well, Bill Burr.
It's Bill Burr. I'm Bill Burr.
I'm Bill Burr. He knows how to be Bill Burr.
He's professionally Bill Burr. That's a great point.
A lot of people couldn't even do his material. It just, like, wouldn't work.
No, and it would sound hateful. Yeah.
Like, this guy fucking hates the world, dude. But that's just the magic of becoming, you know, you.
Right? Like, there's a few. Like, a tell is the absolute best at it.
Yeah. A tell has a timing and a presence and then the material, the way it's written.
Like, a lot of it on paper, you'd be like, what is this? I don't understand how this would be funny. But you see him do it in real life.
You're in real life you're like oh my god you're just crying yeah and when the crowd is more ruckus he he's better he's in on the corniness of some of the stuff too which makes it even more fun it's like there's many layers to it and you know some of it is just like just brilliant observations on things some of them it is come completely ridiculous you, it's just all, but it's woven into Dave Vittell. And it'll pull out a fucking recorder.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It starts to play the flute.
It's crazy. Bro, when we saw him live, I was so fucking impressed.
At the Mothership, yeah. I remember that.
I was so impressed. I was like, that is so good.
You know who's another one like that? Colin Quinn. Man, when he was here.
Bro. You see him live, you're like, wow, that was so good.
Just so fun. You forget how good he is.
Yeah, and then you're learning shit. You're like, I didn't know this.
Yeah, he's like a history wizard. I remember we did Tough Crowd once, and Colin used to do stand-up to the crowd before the show would start, before we'd sit down and do Tough Crowd.
He was doing the warm-up for his own show. Yeah, he was doing the warm-up for his own show.
This one time. I don't know if he did it all the time, but he was murdering.
Murdering. And I was watching this, I was like, people don't know how good he is.
Like, this is crazy. Because, like, there's some guys that warm up for their show, and it's like a monologue.
They're doing a few jokes. It's like, it's okay.
It's okay. But I'm not in it.
I'm not really feeling it. With him, it was like I was at a club.
I was like dying laughing like I was at a comedy club. I was like, people don't know.
There's a few of these guys that just never got good at promoting. And they're really good.
And the interesting thing is the really good ones are not bitter.

They're not as famous as they deserve to be.

Gattel is the least bitter guy alive.

Yeah, he's so cool.

Not even remotely bitter, always friendly.

Yeah, he'll talk to an open mic all day.

Sweet, peaceful, he's as present as you can get.

And he's infinitely less famous than he should be.

He should be selling out arenas all over the world.

He's that good.

Thank you. and he's infinitely less famous than he should be.
He should be selling out arenas all over the world.

He's that good.

Wow.

He's so good, dude.

He might be the best comic alive.

There's like a few in my mind that are like in the running for that.

Like who is the best?

I guess there's no one best.

It's sports.

You always have to consider Chappelle.

He's the goat of our generation.

He's the most prolific.

He has social impact.

He's a sweetheart of a person too so you have to think then but then i go with like sheer rpms i gotta go with joey joey yeah sheer rpms were you just like i how many nights were we in the back of the comedy store we couldn't't even talk? You couldn't breathe? You're not even laughing anymore. You're just wheezing.
Everybody's just wheezing. You're making wheezing noises and slapping things.
Man, I remember back that era, seeing him and how people feel about him now, whatever. But at that time, man, when Chris D'Elia was on stage in that main room some nights it was mind-blowing the rpms the just the amount of laughter and how fast would be like what the fuck yeah he could kill there's um there's some magic to that thing i think that's hypnosis i've always thought that i've been like for a long time at least i i'm like what is happening to me when someone's on on stage and they're killing? You know, like when Shane's on fire.
What is happening to me? I think I'm locked in with their mind. I don't think it's as simple as I'm watching a show or something like that.
Because I love watching a funny movie, Tropic Thunder or something like that. I love laughing and watching a funny movie.
But I don't feel the same way i feel when a guy is in front of me on stage doing stand-up and i think as great as specials are they're never they're like 60 to 70 percent of being there live yes always i think there's something about being there live that's like it's hypnosis there There's something going on where that person's making me think the way they think. Yeah.
When someone brings you into their world, and like you said, you're just living in it. And you're not even thinking about it.
You're just like, I'm living in this guy's essence right now. Exactly.
You're living in this person's imagination and this person's work, right? Because they set this set up, and they danced it around head and they wrote it down on paper. That's the other interesting thing about what we do.
There's no one way to do it. I always say my way to do it, but I don't think Bill writes shit down.
I think he keeps it all in his head. Yeah, Dave mostly keeps it all in his head too.
Schultz does that too. Yeah, that's Jay-Z thing, too, right? Jay-Z kept it all in his head.
Lil Wayne, they didn't. It's insane.
It's not like they're releasing one album. But who's the best writer? Nas.
Nas wrote everything down. You can't write rewind in your head.
No, you can't. No.
It's a story backwards. It's a story backwards.
It's another level. That's another level.
That's like him pulling his dick out and just like slapping that shit on the table. Right? That song is, when you want to say like writing, like I challenge anybody in the world who's got a better written song than Rewind from Nas.
That's a great take. I would agree with that.
It's perfectly fluent backwards. It's insane.
It's a language almost. It's perfectly fluent backwards.
It's magic. It's like a magic song.
Yeah. It's so with that it's it's perfectly fluent backwards it's insane it's a language backwards it's it's magic it's like a magic song yeah it's and it's and while you're watching it like you're appreciating the fact that he pulled it off yeah you know like while you're listening you're appreciating the fact that he pulled off this song backwards yeah it's impressive to watch the different ways people do it i mean i'm biased because i'm too i tour with him but man when i'm out with fucking schultz he did because people just see him come up with that 10 minutes up top you know like we'll go we'll go to abu dhabi and you just see it right but man you know people i get to see how he gets there and it's he gets to town and no matter where we are and all he does is he just talks to people and he doesn't say anything he just he gets a random person who's lived in wherever we're at for a long time and he just lets them and you just see him kind of like and his eyes will light up when somebody says a certain thing and his eyes will light up and he's like, ooh, okay, oh, that's going on? Oh, then what do they think of this? Oh, what are the, and he'll ask a couple questions and he'll do it, and I'm not talking about 30 minutes, Joe.
He'll talk to somebody for three, four hours before the show and just soak in all the culture and all the information. And then you see him go on stage and it's a full flush 10 minute chunk about a place.
Joe, he's a special talent. He's a special talent.
Yeah, I've never seen anything like that. Yeah, he's very special.
And it's also like you've got to realize he's doing these jokes in front of 16,000 people for the first time. He's got a new joke, and he's busting it out in front of 16,000 people about their area.
Yes. Bro, that shit he did in Hawaii about the chickens being so confident.
Oh, my. Joe, I was the black guy.
We got out the van, and he saw the chickens run up to me. He's like, these chickens are too confident, dog.
And he's like, they don't know Derek. And I would die.
And and then cut to it's a foreign bit later that night and it's like this guy is incredible and that's that's another example like what is he doing how's he doing that to that crowd with those great jokes like he's like he's locking those people in or they're you're letting him think for you like come on man think for me let me have a good time and think for me yeah and not only not only that, but you're talking about my own personal experience in Hawaii.

Right.

And now you're going into your set.

You have me.

You have me completely wrapped around you. Yeah, you're a pro.

It was insane.

He keeps getting better.

I mean.

He was good when I first saw him a few years back,

but man, he just keeps getting better.

Well, like you said earlier,

to see people do different hours.

You know what he did too, though?

It's different in life.

People forget. He was like the first guy to really capitalize on the pandemic with his videos, where he essentially created a completely new kind of stand-up, right? So it's stand-up without the pauses that you would require if an audience was laughing.
So it's more rapid-paced. Like, he thought this through, dude.
This is like a genius thing. Those things turn your phone sideways? Yes, man.
So that's what you used to have to do back in the day, kids. Back five years ago.
All you fucking 15-year-olds when you were 10, you didn't know about this. But when you turn your phone sideways, and then it would play out in wide format.
And he would kind of do stand-up with images and with punch lines and it was fucking great but it was a way faster pace than he does stand-up on stage yeah it was like the punchline and then you listen to that and i'm like oh my god he figured it out yeah he figured out how to make like really compelling stand-up for someone who's not there well it's like a it's like a late night monologue from one of those late night hosts, but like a real motherfucker doing it. And really giving their actual opinion.
Exactly. Exactly.
It's genius. Because that was an example of someone innovating in a crisis.
There's a situation that happened. You're forced to everyone.
During the pandemic, some people just curled up in a shell and decided i'm not leaving my house anymore yeah and then some people like okay what can we do what can we do okay i'm going to figure out how to do stand up in this little video format turn your phone sideways yeah and then everybody started sharing them and someone and then that netflix does uh a thing you know andrew schultz saves america andrew schultz America, yeah. Yeah.
Which I don't think they should get their money back because he didn't save America. How dare you? Yeah, some of those people are still trapped in the house.
It's crazier than ever right now, Andrew. But yeah, he did.
I mean, even with clips. With clips.
It's him. I give him that credit.
Oh, he does it all the time. And he also, because this stuff is local and a lot of it like these opening bits that he comes up with are You you kind of have to get him out now.
Yeah, right some so you can just release them on like that fucking when we do the P Diddy thing we went to LA And that's just at P Diddy's house brother brother He wrote that shit ten minutes before he walked up he walked up into the forum. 20,000 people.
20,000 people. He wrote it 10 minutes.
And it was the crazy. Me and Mark Agnan are sitting there like, holy fuck.
How did he come up with this? We were just hanging with him. That's so funny.
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That's drinkag1.com slash Joe Rogan. It's sort of like when you have a muscle to do something and you do that thing all the time, then you just get better and better and better at doing that thing and then you get in the groove like you like we're talking about

Like a tell like Theo like when someone gets in the groove of who they are You know like like Tony is on kill Tony perfect example. That's an unreal locked in he's in the groove He's been doing it so long.
He knows when to dance and when to pause When ask a serious question when to get goofy when to let the the panel pretty impressive, man. If you can find something like that to do in your life, you will have a much better life than if you just get a job.
And I know that's not for, not everybody can, but if you can, you definitely should. Yeah, dude.
Yeah, you definitely should do that. Being excited for every day and nervous and anxious and all this was just that feeling I mean to not have it.
I can't believe people go. I don't I get having you got to go to work to make money.
But the idea of like, man, never that feeling of anxiety and looking forward to something and not going the way you planned. And so you got to go the next day and figure out what went wrong.
And like, I love that. That's what I love about stand up to figuring it out.
math of it all yeah it's a great job man we're so fucking lucky yeah we're so lucky god you've been in it long enough to see everybody did you see this thing damon wayne said about you yeah he said he stole a lot of jokes yeah i wanted to talk to you about that but the way he said it i've never seen someone say i stole a joke and i he was like man i i got it said i saw it and then i actually realized i stole joe's joke and i was like oh i gotta stop watching motherfuckers it just stuck in the back of his head but i know you give him his flowers so it's like i know the guy's not a joke feed like no no no no that happens man sometimes you you think you came up with it but somebody else did and you heard it and you forgot that can definitely especially if it's a subject that you never cover and time has passed and then this subject comes up, like something comes up and you like it almost like David tells the best at that. He'll call you up because you have to check sometimes like, hey, have you heard this? You know, like you have like he's the best at that.
Dave does that all the time. Like you got to check every now and then.
Like this one seems too easy because the memory is weird. You know, memory is weird.
You ever go back to like your old neighborhood where you grew up and you're like, this house is way smaller than I thought it was. It was a mansion.
This is all different. Yeah.
The driveway is different. Everything's different.
It looks weird. You know, your memory is shitty.
It's good. I mean, it keeps you from fucking picking up the wrong spider.
But you know what I mean? It's not a photographic representation of reality. And that's a problem.
And you guys have been doing stand-up 20 years. How many bits have you seen? Seen too many bits.
Yeah. So you can – and then there's parallel thinking.
There's a lot. But you know when someone's a thief and Damon's not a thief.
I always said that Damon, he might be one of the most underappreciated comics ever. Because when he was in his prime you got to realize he was like you know if you're looking to today he was like Chappelle he was like in this that same level of recognition as being like one of the best guys a lot but then they got him with those tv shows man and movies he wanted to be yeah last boy scout he was going to be a movie star did that big bruce willis and it was a good movie yeah and then it looked looked like he was gonna be a movie star after that i mean he had some great like blank man where he's a retarded superhero that was so ridiculous try doing that today you couldn't do that when he used to do handyman living car oh my god they might be one of the greatest families the wayne's family for sure who's number two they're number one they might be one and two joe I don't know.
Like what other families are there Waynes family. Oh, for sure.
Who's number two? They're number one. They might be one and two, Joe.
I don't know who. What other families are there that are like big not in comedy? What other families? Am I missing something? Am I forgetting somebody? I mean, I know, and Living Color was so big.
It's like them and then the Sklar Brothers. Like, there's no other families.
There's nobody in the hunt. Living color so big joe did you know this that the reason we have the super bowl halftime show is because of in living color that's crazy so in living color true that's true so before michael jackson when they the year they brought michael jackson was because the year before that in living color aired during the super bowl wow And they lost so many viewers.
They lost like a, not half, a big number where that they were like, we can't let people leave during the halftime show because this show is too big. What year was that? I want to say Michael Jackson was 95, maybe 96.
It had to be earlier than that. Maybe 94? It had to be earlier than that because I remember watching it on TV at a pool hall 93 so I was just moving to New York To LA from New York then so I was in New York at a pool hall watching it And I remember watching fire marshal bill and I'll be like how can you do this? How is this allowed like shows crazy? Crazy.
You have to realize for 93, there was nothing like, like if you think about the internet today and all the crazy videos that people put together in the years of mad TV and, you know. SNL.
Yeah. But back then? Back then, man, there was nothing like this show.
This show was crazy. Pauly's here.
That is Pauly. Oh my God god, that is Paulie right in the corner.
Oh, look at

Paulie. The weave.

Look at him. He's moving the head like a pigeon,

bro.

He's here now, too. Yeah, I know that great.

Isn't it fun hanging out with Paulie? It's like being at the

store, man. It's the best.

But this is unreal

how big this was. The show was great, but Damon,

if you want to watch something, watch

I think it's

The Last Stand. I think that

was one of his, I think that's

Thank you. Big this show was great, but Damon you watch if you want to watch something watch I think it's the last stand.
I think that was one of his I think that's the name of it something like I think it's the last stand but it's fucking phenomenal And it's it's so it's so good But it's also like so good if you go back to that time Because comedy like everything else has evolved with all the scrutiny on it and all the different High-level people that are doing it. The comedy right now, I think, is at the highest level that I've ever seen.
There's so many really great comedians. I think in the 1980s, if you go back, you had Kennison, you had Eddie Murphy, you had Richard Pryor, you had George Carlin.
You had a bunch of really good guys, Jerry Seinfeld. But that many after that, you know, wasn't as thick, as thick with assassins.
I think like right now, there's so many assassins out there. There's more arena acts out there right now than has ever been in the history of comedy.
You gotta realize arena acts started with dice clay so dice clay starts off becoming he becomes an arena act in like 87 ish late 80s is when arena at comedy started before and nobody was doing it but dice dice was the only arena act yeah and then arena act number two, Dane Cook. And that's how many years later? Many.
Because this is like Dane Cook becomes an arena act in like the 2000s. Wow.
Yeah. So then there's Dane Cook.
Dane Cook starts selling on arenas. I was like, what is happening? What is happening? And then all of a sudden the internet happens and social media happens and a lot of comics like we were talking about like Dave Attell and Colin Quinn like David tells one of the best to ever do it And if there's ever a club where he's not sold out the moment it's on stage.
It's a travesty It doesn't make any sense but they they didn't connect to the internet the same way and because that their the notoriety is not commensurate to the talent whereas like with schultz the notoriety and the talent are perfectly balanced it's the same it's the same level so everybody knows how good he is, and everybody knows who he is.

It's locked in.

It's like Dave Attell is this.

But the notoriety is us talking about him only.

Word of mouth only.

His social media is hot garbage.

He's got a flip phone.

He's got a flip phone. And he texts you with a do-do-do-do.

He's got to press four times to get an R or whatever the fuck it is. It's so stupid.
It's so stupid. It's crazy he does it like that.
It's crazy he does it like that. Like, why do you do it like that? Because he could be on the internet more.
I mean, I remember when he had that show, Insomniac. That's when I first saw him.
Let me throw this at you because I've been trying to stay off social media more and more every day, like a little less every day. And the more I do it, the better I feel.

It's like not being poisoned.

It really is.

It's like getting away from a poison that you didn't know was a poison,

like some forever plastics in your Starbucks cup or something.

I quit those Starbucks cups and all of a sudden I...

You know what I mean?

It's like something like that.

I quit drinking tap water and all of a sudden I can you know what I mean? It's like something like that. Like, I quit drinking tap water, and all of a sudden I could think better, you know?

Steve Martin sold 45,000 tickets in 78.

Oh, my God, that's right.

You know, I forgot about Steve Martin.

I forgot about Steve Martin for two reasons.

One, because Steve Martin was a little different.

He was doing stand-up, but it was a lot of songs,

and it was, you know what I mean?

He was great, by the way.

Like, Let's Get Small is phenomenal.

but I feel like... Because Steve Martin was a little different.
He was doing stand-up, but it was a lot of songs. You know what I mean?

He was great, by the way.

Let's Get Small is phenomenal.

But I think he got to a point where comedy became too easy.

So he didn't know what was funny anymore because everybody loved him so much.

And he stopped doing stand-up, which is really weird.

Wow.

Probably didn't have good friends.

Yeah.

Because if he had good friends, we would have grabbed him like we grabbed Ron White. Remember when the fuck are you talking about why would you do that? Why would you do that? Isn't comedy fun? Yeah, so keep doing fun things what the fuck is wrong with you? Like I can't believe I have to give them this advice like you're Ron white How are you thinking about how much fun are you having you're killing up there? But I think that was the drinking thing too, man.
Yeah, he's sober now. Yeah, it was drinking and it was also he needed a tribe.
You know, and he had the tribe a little bit when he was in California. You know, but he was always on the road a lot, you know, and he just decided that being in the center of the country was better.
So he was like patient zero of the Austin revolution Okay, like a lot of people think it was me, but it was really wrong Because I came here knowing that Ron was here. I was like at the very least Ron's here You know it's two of us.
I'm like, I'm not living like this in California. You're not doing this to me I know what you're doing.
I was like the the fucking caged animal in me is like I'm getting out This is not this is gonna go go sideways I'm not gonna be a part of this. Yeah, fuck you Okay, at least Ron's there.
I was like my life is gonna be worse than it ever was before My life is gonna be all my friends are gone. They're not here I'm in the middle of the country.
Maybe I'll see him every now and then maybe I'll have to book shows to see them But at least Ron's here. That's that's what I decided Patient zero.
Yeah, it was patient zero. So, you know.
And now he hangs out every night, and we get Ron every night. Oh, he's lovely.
He's the... He's lovely.
We were hanging one time. This is my favorite Ron story, and it's just me, you, and Ron in the green room.
And you gifted him a really nice Rolex, and you guys were having a sweet moment. And I couldn't believe I was there to see it.
I was like, damn, this you gifted it to him and y'all were having a conversation like wow and he takes off his rolex and he tosses it to me he goes there you go derrick and i go holy shit ron for real he says fuck no bro get my rolex back you idiot and then you went so you go that's the most fucked up shit i've ever seen ron. It was most evil.
That was so evil. You literally were like, Ron, why would you do that? Well, I thought everybody was just giving out Rolexes up for this bitch.
I just thought that was going to be a great moment. And my face was like.
That's hilarious. But he's the man, dude.
I can't believe I'm friends with him because I've been a fan since I was a kid. I feel the same way.
Yeah. I feel that way about a lot of guys of guys like i can't believe i'm friends with you it's nice it's not but that's good right you never stop being both a fan and a person who does it yeah i try to separate it um i try to separate me as a comic off stage versus me as a comic on stage i really do you know so i could just be a fan oh you know like when i was younger i used to watch someone going, oh, I would do it differently.
Like, if they suck, I'll do you know so I could just be a fan Oh, you know, yeah, because when I was younger I used to watch someone going on I would do it differently Like if they suck I'll do that if they suck. I'll go like all that premise.
I think Explaining this very well, you know, I mean I start picking it apart that way But I like to just be a fan. I don't like to just watch because I think a lot of people are real hesitant to give up flowers.
Right? Yeah, they are. Kids like to say.
But the reason why is because they don't feel good about comparing themselves to this person who may be doing better than them. So there's a feeling like, ah, he's all right.
He's all right. There's a little bit of that.
You know? Which I don't like that. It doesn't make sense to me either because watching this game for the 10 years i've been doing it it's like oh like there's no like everyone tells me that sebastian used to was like nobody knew that he was going to be the big one of the biggest arena acts we've ever seen when he first started when he was coming around you hear older comics yeah be like oh he was good but you didn't see that for him so it's like oh there is no point to judge somebody harshly because this game is long.
Yeah, the game is long. And you figure things.
I was terrible when I started. There's no way to not be, especially me.
I was socially retarded. I've been hit in the head 150,000 times.
I mean, there's some fucking issues there. There are some issues.
And I was socially retarded because I spent, like, from age 15 to 21, just did nothing but travel around the country fighting people. That's all I did.
So my version of young adulthood was very weird. Like it was 100% competition.
That was all it was. That's all I did.
Well, when you hear Joey talk about you when you were younger, it's like, oh, he was an animal. You know, like Joe was just an animal before you apparently started smoking weed.
weed he was like you were way more different about it but i think a lot of fighters have a hard time transitioning into being a regular person and i was only an amateur fighter you know i was i couldn't imagine being a guy like you know like dustin poirier who's about to retire you know like transitioning to being a regular person when he's been this fucking savage killer for so long, for so long at the highest level. Like that's like the highest level in the world inside the octagon knocks out Conor McGregor.
Yeah. And you're like, and that guy's got to transition to being a regular person.
For me, there was no screaming crowds. It was weird high school auditoriums and trying to give people concussions.
That's all it was. That was all it was.
But there was no glory and no money, and it cost me some of my health for sure. And fear.
Constantly living in a state of anxiety that you're going to have to fight against soon. Constantly.
Constantly. And for some weird reason, I was always like, why am I doing this to myself? I don't have to do this.
Like, this isn't, doesn't pay me any money. I don't have to do it.
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Did you ever have any ambition to go pro, to take it to the next level? Yeah, but there was no money. I remember I got offered $500 to do a kickboxing fight.
And so if I did that kickboxing fight, I couldn't fight amateur anymore. And I was like, $500.
So then I can't, like if I ever decided to try to compete in the Olympics again, because I was trying to get on the national team to compete in the Olympics but somewhere along the line I Got a little disenchanted with Taekwondo and one of the ways that it happened is I started kickboxing I started getting beat up because my hands were dog shit So like I was really good kicking But if if I got into boxing exchanges, I was terrible. My chin was up in the air I was fucking swinging punches like a bitch.
It was awful. I get hit really hard.
If I hit you, you're in trouble. But it was not good.
And so I realized, oh, there's a giant flaw in this. Like, for actual real fights, there's a giant flaw in this.
And as soon as I started kickboxing, particularly this friend of mine who was a really good boxer, Dana Rosenblatt. He was one of my training partners, and he became New England middle England Middleweight champion he beat Vinnie Pazienza in a decision.
He lost him one fight and then beat him in a decision He was legit. He knocked out Howard Davis jr.
Who was a Olympic gold medalist He's a bad motherfucker and he also when I was training with him made me realize that I didn't really want to do this anymore

That I was just doing this because I had done it my whole life

And this was like what I decided I was doing that was like

Not only is there no future in this there's a lot of brain damage coming my way like 100%

I'm getting it right now and uh, you know just sparring with Dana me and him sparring

I don't know how many times we sparred but we would beat beat the fuck out of each other, dude. Damn, really?

Oh, it was horrible.

Yeah, I'd go home with headaches.

And if we were in boxing range, he was tuning me up.

So I was always trying to stay on the outside because his hands were way better than mine.

But we cracked each other.

You and Dana White would fight?

No, no, no, no.

My friend Dana Rose.

Okay, I was like, I heard Dana and I was like.

But if me and Dana were friends, we would do that too. I sparred with a lot of my friends.
We beat the shit out of each other. It was horrible, but that's what you have to do.
You know what the beautiful thing about jujitsu is above kickboxing? Is you don't have this kind of animosity with your sparring partners. Because if you're in a good gym, in kickboxing, you're always hurting each other.
And even if you love a guy and you spar with him, you're always hurting each other. So you always have this thing where you're like, fuck that dude.
That dude gave me a fucking headache. You know what I mean? You think about getting him back.
You think about he cracked you with the left hook. You're like, I am going to get him back.
I can't wait to get him back. Whereas with jiu-jitsu, you can't wait to tap somebody, but you're not hurting each other.
You know, if you get hurt, it's an accident. The injuries in jiu-jitsu are usually either strain-related or, you know, you didn't tap.
Right? It's either you strained to get out of something or you pulled yourself the wrong way or you didn't tap. You put it in kickboxing.
You're getting – your legs are getting fucked up every day. Wham! Wham! No matter what.
And those pads, they help a little. Damn, they're huge, Joe, those pads.
When they look like it, when I watch them. Yeah, they help a little.
Yeah, if somebody kicks you, like if Israel Adesanya kicks you with one of those pads on, you can't believe the kind of agony that's involved in that way to make a living. So I was only doing it because I didn't know what to do.
But I wasn't the same person that I used to be.

At one point in time, I was just a mad dog.

And then I realized, like, I'm going to get really hurt,

and there's no future in this, you know?

Wow.

Were you already one foot in, one foot out,

or did you just stop?

Two feet in, but you were like, I'm done.

You know what it was, really?

I had one fight.

I fought in the nationals in Anaheim.

And I beat the first guy.

So I got into the second round.

And the second guy was this kid.

I think he was from Illinois.

I don't remember.

But he was, like, super aggressive.

And I hit him with the hardest wheel kick I've ever thrown in my life.

It was perfect.

He charged in with, like, a left switch kick.

So he did a hopping roundhouse kick off the left side.

And I recognized it right away. There was a pattern.
He was making this pattern when he was moving. He would do this thing and then he would always do this.
He would do this thing and then he would always do this. So I saw that pattern.
I said, here it comes. And so he went with his hopping roundhouse kick.
I countered with this wheel kick and I hit him so hard that my heel was sore for days I was limping for days because the way my heel bounced off his face and he face planted snoring like they snore when they go out have you ever seen anybody get knocked out oh yeah they're on the internet of course you have I had seen it a few times in the gym it's spooky it's spooky and so my thing what i would always do when i knock somebody out is walk away like it was nothing like that's what i always do like that's what i do yeah i just i didn't celebrate i just would turn my head and walk away and i was talking to my friend junk sick who was uh he was u.s national champion he training partner of mine. He was sitting in the seat, and I said, I'll never forget this.
I'm like, is he moving? He's like, he hasn't gotten up. And so then they get him an ambulance.
And so they put this kid on a stretcher, and they have him sitting out there for 30 minutes, and he's just on the stretcher for 30 minutes. And then they bring him in the ambulance, and they take him to the hospital and i'm like yo when he said he's not he wasn't moving yet did you feel like yeah he could be dead so this is what scared me so i i had this trainer uh my or this uh instructor uh who's like one of the best taekwondo instructors in the world and i say to to him, you know, what he said to me, he said, he goes, I heard you had a really good knockout at the Nationals.
And I said, yes, sir. I said it was kind of scary because I thought for a while that he was dead.
And he goes, sometimes they die. And he walked away.
I was like, oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus Christ.
Oh, Jesus Christ. And he was fucking serious.
Like he's in Rocky IV or something? He used to train troops in Vietnam. Like he was a hardcore dude.
He was hardcore. Oh, my God.
Sometimes they die? Sometimes they die. Yeah.
I think it was Vietnam where he trained troops. I forget where he trained troops.
But he was like an elite Taekwondo instructor. And he was, his mind was like, his name is Master Jae-Hun Kim.
And he's the guy who runs the Jae-Hun Kim Taekwondo Institute. That's his business.
And that's the place where I came. He was like one of the few guys that was trained under General Cha Young-Yi, who was the the founder of taekwondo So like there's a handful of black belts that were trained by this one guy.
So it was like a different style So their style was a very violent and very power oriented Whereas there was like an Olympic style that was emerged that was emerging that was very points oriented. It was just move fast and like tap and score

And they would yell and shit like that like every time they'd hit they'd scream out and so the Olympic style

Was more effective at winning tournaments and so the best guys were adopting like this Olympic style, but there was an older style that was just

Maybe they telegraphed the moves a little bit more and maybe it was a little slow But the impact was very different those guys were killers. Yeah, they were knocking people unconscious

Thank you. Maybe they telegraph the moves a little bit more and maybe it was a little slow But the impact was very different.
Those guys were killers. They were knocking people unconscious.
It was very scary So that's the gym that I grew up in so I had this very fortunate Place that I just stumbled into You know happen to be like one of the best Taekwondo gyms in the country especially for generating power Because because they really emphasize heavy back work. He really emphasized heavy back work.
It's like you have to generate power. If you hit somebody and it doesn't hurt, that's ridiculous.
You gotta be able to hit someone to just put them out. Would you get into a lot of street fights before this? No.
Even before Taekwondo? You weren't even getting into fights? No, before Taekwondo I was a pussy. Really? Yeah, I couldn't fight at all so like why would I get in fights I was trying to get away from everybody I was terrified Wow so I just got tired of being fucked with because I was a pussy because I would get nervous because I moved around a lot I didn't have a lot of friends we moved a bunch of times when I was a kid so it was always around new kids and I wasn't big so fuck with me.
You know, it's just normal. And I didn't know how to fight, so it bothered the shit out of me.
So I'm like, well, there's only one solution. You know, you got to become what you're scared of.
So you put yourself into Taekwondo. You were like, hey, I want to do this.
Yeah, got a job. Started working, washing dishes at Newport Creamery.
Got enough money so I could take Taekwondo lessons. Holy shit, Joe.
And then I started going every day. So after a while, he realized it would be better if I was just there all the time instead of working.
And so he gave me a job. I did not know that about you, dude.
Yeah, so I was teaching. So I started teaching when I was like 15.
I was teaching people when I was 15. And then when I was 19, I was teaching at Boston University teaching when I was like 15 I was teaching people when I was 15 and then when I was 19 I was teaching at Boston University I used to teach a class accredited class.
It was a pass fail a and I would tell everybody it would come towards your GPA So I'd say if you come here you get an A That's all you have to do just try you're gonna get an A and it counts towards your GPA And I just tell them class. I go, if you can't come, if you can't make it, just call me and tell me that you can't make it, but I want you to come every time you can.
And if you do that, I'm going to get you better. And we're all going to learn something.
I'm going to really get into this. So I was really good at teaching.
Wow. I was really, really into teaching.
That's how you were in there, in the gym when we work out. You had that same energy.
So it's like, oh, that came from a place. Yeah.
Well, that's what I was doing for a living. So from 15 to 19, I was just teaching.
So what my instructor allowed me to do, I guess I was training after about six months or so. He said, look, you could train here for free.
All you have to do is teach private lessons. And I was like, great.
So I would teach people, the new people. I would teach them how to bow.
I'd teach them how to tie their gi on. I would teach them how to stand.
I would teach them different techniques. And I would go through them and get them so they're ready to join into group classes.
Because you couldn't just go into group classes. You wouldn't know what you're doing.
Like that front kick. You're like, looking around.
Someone's got to teach you you how to do it So it was always like a big deal to let like one of your little birds loose into the main class Like you teach them get their front kick going get the side kick going to go through a series of private lessons I tell them to practice on their own look using the mirror give them a bunch of like things to think about as they break down the movements And you just literally I've seen you do it in there that is what the mothership is it's really just a fucking dojo to get better and everything is about everyone pushing each other to get better and like learning together yeah it's like oh my gosh you've been on this teacher shit well that's also what my instructor explained to me when i was really young too like i say this all the time and i even said it on the podcast yesterday martial arts are a vehicle for developing your human potential. That's what it is.
It's just you're using martial arts as a way to get better at life. Because this is a really hard thing.
And if you could do this really hard thing, other things won't be as hard. You'll be able to – you'll have more mental and physical horsepower for regular everyday life.
You'll have more ability to overcome adversity and weird moments, uncomfortable moments. You're used to being uncomfortable.
You'll be fine. It's different.
Wow. Yeah.
See, I came up. I played football, college football.
I was a football player my whole life. That was another one for brain damage.
How's your head? How's your head, dog? I'm addicted to training porn. I have some problems.
So I got some problems. I got some demons through it.
But the idea of like, because that's so yourself. You're dealing with fighting.
You're dealing with yourself. You're always yourself.
Whereas my whole thing was team. Team, you get to lean on people.
You're leaning on each other. And that's what's making you better is how do we play the best as a group.

Right.

Well, that's great, too.

And I think that's probably more beneficial to society is learning how to play in a team.

My problem was like, you know, when I.

Look at Derek.

I was a bad motherfucker, dude. Look at you.

Handsome off, Finn.

Look at you.

So handsome.

You look like a fucking model, dog.

Look at you.

That's one of the top high school football schools in the country. We've got to get you back to looking like that.
You could look like that again. I know.
You just gotta lay off the car. They're so good.
Oh, they're so good, dude. Achitos and pasta.
They're so good. You told me the other day you haven't been drinking again.
You stopped drinking, right? Yeah, it's been more than a month now. A month and some weeks.
You walked in and you were like, three weeks off, boys. And I was like, Jesus fuck, dude.
This is unbelievable. I had all this fucking side fat and belly fat that just went away.
But most importantly, I just feel better. Like, I never have days where I'm recovering from being drunk.
Like, I sound like shit now because I have allergies, which is hilarious because I always made fun of people. I like they're like in three to five years you'll get allergies i'm like shut up pussy i'm not getting these fucking bitch ass allergies you guys get now here yeah it's so annoying it's so annoying for everybody to be right My wife gets me on that honey natural.

If you get honey from a local honey, it gets rid of your allergies. I've heard that too, but the lady that we had in here that was a beekeeper says it's bullshit.
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Yeah.

Not only that, she said most honey, not most.

She said a lot of honey that you buy in the store is not really honey.

Yeah, they fuck you.

They put like corn syrup and some fucking this and that.

Yeah, they have fake honey.

Fuck, man.

Isn't that crazy?

Is anything real? Isn't that crazy? Why would they do that? China. They're getting us.
These dummies that are gonna check. Do you remember what she said Jamie? What percentage she said but she did say that a lot of honey was fake honey right? Bro.
It doesn't make sense because that's such a thing that's been natural in my head since the dawn of time, right? Honey. Have you ever seen those cats in the Himalayas? Is it Tibet? Where is it where they get that psychedelic honey? Called Mad Honey.
Remember, Jamie? Who brought that in for us? We did it during the show. Yeah, we took some Mad Honey during the show.
How was the trip? Sonny from Best Ever Food Review Show brought it. Shout out to Sonny.
It wasn't, I mean, I was fine. I really didn't do anything that crazy.
You definitely knew that you were on something. But he was like, take a little bit.
I'm like, fuck this. Give me a teaspoon.
I took a whole teaspoon.'m like let's go I'm like if wanna I wanna go like Joey Diaz always says I want to meet the devil Fuck you micro dosing. I'm trying to meet the devil I would see you do that before stage.
You would take a full nugget of a mushroom. Shh don't tell the police are listening You were eating something i don't know what it was i think that that is the first thing we have to make legal we got to get trump on mushrooms just get him to have a little microdose he'd be like i'm really killing the game you are killing the game sir my wife is hot these mushrooms great yeah god that'd be crazy to see him on mushrooms oh my god so every politician should be on.
All wars would end. Do you know how crazy that is for me to say that? And it's also true.
It sounds so stupid, also because it's me and I'm stupid. But if like a scholar, if someone who you really trusted, the pinnacle of science today, said if we could just get the whole world on mushrooms, all the wars would stop.
It's definitely believable stop dehumanizing people everyone would stop treating people like others everyone would realize like oh wow we're we're really all connected in some bizarre way that's difficult to interface with sometimes but we're all connected we get selfish and we think about ourself only but if we cannot, that's like one of the beautiful things about camaraderie and community. If you cannot, then you all sort of like lock in.
You realize like we're all experiencing this thing together. We're all like one thing that's separated by biology.
But our soul, our spirit, whatever it is that is us inside of our meat bag is a soul. And it's connected to all the other souls in some strange way.
And if you can figure out, it's almost like you're listening to some, it's almost like there's jackhammers going off around you. But you hear a really good song in the distance.
Like, God, I can almost hear that song. It's almost beautiful.
You know? Yeah. Like, you ever be in a restaurant and everybody's talking, but there's just some jam is playing on the radio, and you're like, God, I can almost hear that song.
Yeah, just a Marvin Gaye seeping through. That's what it's like.
That's what it's like. I think there's different strategies that people use to try to get there, and I think God is one of them.
Like, even the concept of God, I think what you're trying to do is to get to that place where you recognize like through strategies of like tactics of following commandments and having a mindset and and giving all your faith to Jesus and all your faith is like just by act of doing that what you're doing is you're trying to get closer and closer to whatever the fuck that that beautiful beautiful song is it's playing amongst all the noise because you know it's there it's just like you're down yeah no I oh my I remember I don't know who this comic, but it was great. I always talk about this joke.
But he said how people think they're Americans or Chinese or whatever. But we're all on this planet.
Like, just zoom out. Whatever you think you are, just zoom out a little bit.
It's a trap. It's just like the Republican Democrat trap.
It's just like the Texas, California trap. Shut up.
We're all just people. We're all people.
And that's one of the beautiful the beautiful things about traveling you meet friends in Scotland you meet friends in Ireland you meet friends in Australia fucking like people are just people man. We're just all people we just we adapt to whatever our environment is we adapt to the culture the way people sound their words out.
You know, yeah, I want to fit in. If you want to fit in you move to the south saying y'all.
You know? Have you said y'all yet? Oh, I say y'all. When did you start? But I'm from Memphis, Tennessee.
Oh, that's right. So I'm a little Southern boy.
So you've always had a y'all pass. Yeah, I've been a y'all.
I've been a y'all. I was born in New Jersey and I'm mostly Italian.
For me, y'all is a stretch. I don't want to be disingenuous.
Does it ever come out of you? No. Never? For funsies.
Yeah, but it never accidentally comes out. Like, y'all going to go? I'm 57.
Yeah. I say you.
Are you guys? Like, accents are weird, man. You don't realize you have them until you hear them, and you're like,

why do I sound like that?

And it's impressive when you see people who can do them.

I didn't know I had a deep Boston accent until I was on television for the first time.

When I was 19, I won the Bay State Games, and I was on this local TV news thing,

and I got a chance to hear myself on TV. I was like, oh, my God, I sound like a fucking idiot.

Like heavy Boston accent. got a chance to hear myself on tv i was like oh my god it's only a fucking idiot like like heavy boston accent yeah you don't have it as bad i got rid of it yeah i'm like that's a dumbass accent but then you started talking to everybody with a million different accents on the pod so you i'm sure you've heard all the different versions neutral You get neutral after a while, I think.
Your voice gets neutral.

But you're not all the way like newscaster neutral

where it's just that

and now,

that kind of shit.

That's the opposite

of comedy, right?

Because that doesn't

hypnotize anybody.

Oh, no.

When that guy's talking

in the news,

like,

this is a presentation

from NBC News.

Yeah.

Look at my tie.

Look at the pocket square.

I'm serious.

I am a serious person.

Most of those guys

are freaks.

That's what I love.

I love serious. I am a serious person.
Most of those guys are freaks. That's what I love when those guys get caught.
Oh, yeah. Those guys are just doing coke and banging hookers.
In a harem of gay men. It's insane the things they do.
Punching valets or animals. These guys are, but on television I present the news.
Meanwhile, they're wearing a cock ring it fucking freaks all those like all those people that pretend to be proper those are ones you got to keep your eye on yeah they never have real opinions either it's all just whatever it's just a job bill Cosby was the guy who pushed the most for clean comedy yeah and that crazy that's is it though is it though? Like scolding everybody for their language and their subject matter. He would scold comedians.
That Eddie Murphy bit is so good though when he told Richard Pryor that Bill Cosby, he's like, you making money? Yeah. Are the people laughing? Do you get paid? Tell Bill to have a coconut smile and shut the fuck up.
That's one of the greatest jokes of all time, dude. It good well it's so good too because eddie murphy could do such good impressions yeah yeah and all the accents he's another one like this just stop doing comedy like if eddie murphy would have been bigger than all of them all the arena acts we were talking about before eddie murphy would have been bigger bigger bro he was so good he was so powerful go back and watch delirious oh my god he was like 20 hey that's what's crazy whenever i do watch delirious i'm like he was like 20 and he's got full command of this what 4 000 seater 5 000 seater murdering wearing a leather jumpsuit or some shit chest out fucking abs out dude oh my god yeah it's crazy it's but it's interesting like people people the past they choose in life you know movies movies to be calling i think it's a call velvet prison yeah i've heard you say that to a son once about writing jobs that's a velvet prison that's another velvet prison but like i'm sure damon wayne's had a good time making all all those TV shows But wouldn't have been amazing to see him being this guy that's like selling out arenas all over the world like that's where it should be He would still be doing it right now He could do it right now.
He could just Abandon all that TV nonsense right now and go back to it and still be one of the best alive You know that guy records like every show he has a camera that he takes with him on a tripod he sets it up he records every fucking show and he puts them all on his computer he goes i've been doing this since 94 i'm like wow yeah that's so many five and and how many specials he doesn't have no they're not a lot of yeah compared to other guys where you see not compared to how good he is it doesn't make sense Yeah, it's crazy. You just, you know, someone lot of specials.
Yeah. Compared to other guys where you see.
Not compared to how good he is.

It doesn't make sense.

Yeah, it's crazy.

You just, you know, someone's paying you.

You go.

You enjoy your work.

You like it.

You know, there's nothing wrong with those decisions.

It's obviously very successful.

But, you know, you've got to think. Like, when you see guys like Schultz selling out arenas and Burt selling out arenas and Tony selling out arenas,

it's like, don't you want to get in on that?

Like, come on, man.

Talk to me, David.

Thank you. guys like Schultz selling out arenas and Bert selling out arenas and Tony selling out arenas.
And it's like, don't you want to get in on that?

Like,

come on,

man.

Talk to me,

David.

I'll help you. Oh my God.

That'd be sick to see him make a comeback.

Yeah.

I'd love to see him do that.

I just think after a while,

do you really want to work for somebody?

Do you really want to show up and,

you know,

read the script and do the table?

I mean,

do you want to do that?

No.

Fuck.

I love just showing up

eight o'clock.

Oh, man.

Get up four or five times

in a night.

Oh, there's nothing.

I love it, dude.

I mean, the idea of doing

some stuff seems fun,

but to make it my...

I saw Seinfeld say that.

He was like, man,

we have one of the few jobs

where people want this job. Yeah.
How many... Very rarely do I see it.
I don't know. There's no job where I'm like, I'd really like to be that.
Yeah. This is the job.
It's one of them. That's for sure.
Rockstar is probably the big one. Rockstar is probably the biggest.
Yeah. But I don't.
See, the rockstar thing, they could sing the same ass song every night forever. Yeah.
Like, if you're the Rolling Stones, you could still sing Brown Sugar. Nope.
Can't sing it anymore. Can't sing that one.
No, wait a minute. They don't sing Brown Sugar anymore.
No, come on. Bro, you ever see the lyrics to Brown Sugar? What are the actual lyrics? What is it, Joseph? There's a reason why they don't sing it anymore.
It's a great song. Don't get me wrong.
It's still on my Spotify playlist. But if you, I think it is.
I might have pulled it out. I might get scared.
Wait till you see the lyrics. That playlist is crazy long.
It's great. Yeah, the playlist is- We get turned up in there.
Yeah, we do. I think that playlist is like 35 hours long now.
You keep adding to it. I keep adding to it.
I love it. Yeah.
Because every once in a while I look up. 33.
33 hours and 49 minutes. Yeah.
I love when we're in there and then I'll be like, who the fuck is playing this? And I look at me just like. It's like, Joe, who got you on the Black Panther album? You'll just listen to some random shit.
Hey, who got you on this? Oh, yeah. I love a good random shit.
Like if I'm in a bar and I hear some cool random song, I love like. That's why I love that Shazam app.
Ooh, that's so nice. Here it is.
Yeah, Gold Coast slave ship bound for cotton fields, sold in a market down in New Orleans. Scarred old slaver knows he's doing alright.
Hear him whip the women just around midnight. Brown sugar, how come you taste so good? Brown sugar, just like a young girl should uh yeah yeah drums beating cold english blood runs hot lady of the house wondering if wondering where it's gonna stop house boy knows that he's doing all right you should have heard him just around midnight this song's horrific this song's crazy brown sugar how come you taste so good brown sugar just like a young girl should oh yeah yeah uh get down on the ground brown sugar how come you taste so good uh get down get down brown sugar just like a young girl should i bet your mama was a tent show queen and all her boyfriends were sweet 16 i'm no school boy but i know what i like you should have heard me just around midnight this song's crazy he was fucking mcjagger was losing his mind this is a crazy song this is to write all this down slave ship did you say slave ship just like a young girl shit what do you what that brown sugar you taste so good sold in a market what and and then scroll down a little bit this was another one that i'm not sure what they're saying here hold on go scroll down a little bit oh yeah i bet your mama was a tent show queen what does that mean what does that mean what the fuck does that mean what is a tent show queen what's a tent show well it's whatever it is she's getting fucked something horrible whatever's happening in that tent that song is crazy so they don't play that song anymore when you go see the Stones You saw them You've seen them live Yeah Bro You see them live You can't believe they're really there They're like You're like Is that really them? It just seems so strange A tent show Yeah they're probably one of the If not Now they're definitely one of the biggest bands of all time Tent shows are a generic term for traveling shows that pitch tents.

So a tent show queen would have been a feature performer, probably in a vaudeville act, if the song is progressing forward in time. The fact that she had a 16-year-old's boyfriend suggests she's either extremely sexually liberal or, more likely, prostituting herself.
If she's prostituting herself, the power

dynamic is reiterated. A black woman

at the mercy of paying

white men, huh?

What kind of fucking scholarly

take on this song is that?

What is that? What are they

saying? This is so

weird. No, that's fucking

crazy. That's a weird definition.

Yeah, there's a website that gives you insight on lyrics.

It's crowdsourced, but it doesn't

necessarily mean it's accurate. Oh,

I see. I see.
Because I'm reading

this, I'm like, the power dynamic is

reiterated. What?

A black woman at the mercy of paying

white men. She advertises

herself during the show and then sleeps on the

side. What is that?

I'm not, you know. Those shows, though.
You ever seen any of those? Those black box shows? Black people used to be monsters. They were monsters.
They were monsters. Carnies would come into town.
These carnival people would rob everybody and steal and probably murder. Just dirty people traveling around trying to stay alive and conning people out of their money and you know the bearded lady got fucking glued hair stuck to her face what did i pay to see they still do that shit oh yeah we went you ever heard this place called the box in london and they have one in new york too but the box no schultz took me this fucking psychopath we go to the box it's box.
After we do Royal Albert Hall, it's a great night.

We go to the box around 2 a.m.

That's when the show starts.

Real?

It's one of those kind of shows.

2 a.m.?

2 a.m.

They take your phone.

They lock it up.

Whoa.

Joe, there's people shitting on stage and rubbing themselves in shit and fucking each

other on stage.

What?

And putting crazy, huge dildo rods in each other.

Are you getting anybody in trouble by saying this?

No, this is an organized business. This is legal? They have multiple of these.
The box, yep, that's it. And they were shitting on each other? Shitting on, Joe, shitting on each other.
Did you worry about getting shit on you while you were there? How close were you to these people? We had like a nice little booth. Luckily we were with Schultz.
You got to know when to panic and get out of the building if shit starts flying around. Oh, dude, it was crazy.
Once people start shitting in public, like, I'm out. I can watch this online.
I don't have to be here in person. That night, I was ready to fight because I was about to fight Chultz and them.
I walked in and there's trannies. There's all, you know, there's all kind of people in there.
Right. Right when I walk in with a big dude dressed like a woman, but a dude, I mean, big ripped.
Right. Just fucking reach for my balls and dick as we're walking in.
Oh, boy. Oh, yo, what the fuck, man? I'm looking at, but nobody else sees this happen to me and him at this.
And then he keeps walking. And now I'm on 10.
I'm like, oh, what the fuck? You're not having fun anymore. Now I'm ready to fight.
This is crazy. This guy just like trying to touch my dick.
What the fuck is going on? Kevin Spacey. Yeah.
And they think Kevin Spacey'd me. He fucking Kevin Spacey'd me.
I think amongst that community, that is a common way of saying hello. Oh, it was working for him.
I saw him later fucking pretty much having sex with the guy later. You just got to take a chance.
You look like a gay guy is what he's trying to say. I think he saw the flagrant app.
I don't know what he said. He thinks you're beautiful.
Maybe he did see that app. That's what Schultz said later.
Probably. Mm-hmm.
Yeah. Probably saw that app.
I didn't know. So I'm hot.
Let's go. I'm on 10.
But they think I'm on 10 because everyone's gay. So Schultz and them are like, Derek, you got to stop being homophobic, man.
Like, it's just a weird show. And I was like, I'm about to fucking kill you guys.
Like, I tried to grab my dick. And it was just a whole, it was like a curb your enthusiasm level of miscommunication.
But I mean, it was one of the I've never been more mad. Really? The idea of a grown man touching my dick physically like that it was just...
It's very disrespectful. I don't like being disrespected like that.
It's scary. It's scary.
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Well, imagine being a woman and that happens. That's what I was thinking.
That's how I felt. That's reality.
There's bad people out there. You know, guys grabbing asses in bars and beating up boyfriends.
Yeah. You got to be careful.
You can run into the wrong dudes. You know how people are jealous of, know other comics successful That ain't shit compared to like the way ugly dudes are jealous and handsome guys with a good-looking girl Whoo, you know that I got becomes the enemy look at this fucking pussy Look at this fucking pussy with that girl look at her and they all those mutts They all get together and speak mutt language.
Yeah, fuck him. Probably from out of town.
Probably from that other piece of dirt where all those pussies live. Where you from, pussy? From that pussy town.
Just another town over. Down the road.
Some fucking rival baseball team that beat them when they were in seventh grade and they still haven't let go of it. Yeah, dude.
They get pissed. Yeah, there's a lot of idiots in the world, man.
They all need mushrooms. All of them.
They all need mushrooms. Mushrooms would make you...
You'd abandon all that towny shit. You'd be like, what? Oh my god.
This is so silly. Yeah, you realize how big the world is.
Yeah, I picked such a small camp. A town of 2200 in the middle of Nebraska.
And I'm trying to start fights with the people from Des Moines. Yeah.
Fucking Iowa faggots. People are so silly.
They're so silly. God, how fast would you have kicked that guy into oblivion if he tried to grab your dick like that? Well, you don't want to just escalate right to like extreme violence.
That's what I told Shultz. They were like, why are you looking so angry? And I was like, bro, I was on, you know know you hit that point where it's like i'm not having fun anymore you gotta be i'm here now you gotta be careful man people get stabbed people get shot people you don't extreme violence is should be reserved for really defending yourself yeah you have to defend yourself you have to know you're actually being attacked that guy was literally trying to have this guy on molly i'm sure he's drugged up you're on Molly you're on this you're on that cocaine and you're fucking you're dressed like a fairy You should never exchange violence with someone unless you fucking have to you shouldn't do avoid it at all That's why I never had any street fights like avoided at all.
I mean I had like one in high school I had two two in high school. They were nothing though.
No big deal But then once I started competing I was done with all that. Yeah.
But if you do tune somebody up, like they die sometimes. Like what my instructor was saying is true, especially in the real world because people fall and they hit their head on the concrete.
That happens. People die like that all the time.
They get knocked out. Their head bounces off the concrete and then they're dead.
Yeah. It's like getting a giant rock dropped on your head

from like a second story building.

Yeah.

Think about what the earth is.

You know, like the earth,

like the concrete is immobile and so hard

and all of the weight of your 200 plus pound body

falls backwards and your head bounces off that concrete

and it's the most sickening sound. God god you hear it all the time on that mat when people get knocked out yeah but that's like way safer yeah than getting knocked out on the concrete but yeah i do hear it all the time it's it it bothers the shit out of me when i see someone's head bounce when they get ko and their head bounces off the ground i'm like oh bro did you Bro, did you ever see the one when Josh Emmett knocks out Bryce Mitchell?

Oh, my God, dude.

It's one of the worst one-punch knockouts in the history of the sport.

He knocks him out, and Bryce Mitchell's legs are twitching,

and he's, like, locked up completely out cold.

And when he goes down, now imagine someone gets hit like that on the street,

and you fall back like that on concrete.

So not only do you get destroyed by the punch but then you get destroyed again by the earth with covered in concrete bouncing off the back of your head with all the weight of your body and leverage to the back the head is the the first thing that hits. Your head flies back and all this weight is bang.
Watch this. This is a crazy knockout, dude.
It's so fast you don't even really see it. His legs start shaking.
Yeah, you hear DC saying he's shaking. He's shaking, Oh my god, flush And Josh Emmett is a little tank I mean, he's 145 pounds for about 5 seconds Until he weighs in Then he probably weighs about 170 And he hits like a fucking mule Look at this Boom! Look at the back on that motherfucker Look how he built, man.
And imagine how much force is involved in that guy punching you in the face. Oh! The craziest one I ever seen live was we were together.
We were in Phoenix and it was when Chandler kicked Tony Ferguson. Oh my god.
That's one of the scariest ones. I remember I was high too.
So I was like... You watched his soul leave his body and come back, spiral back down into his...
It was scary. I remember how scared I was high, too.
I'm not sure. So I was like.
You watched his soul leave his body. I saw it, Joe.

Spiral back down into his.

It was scary.

I remember how scared I was for this grown man of like, oh, my God, he hasn't moved.

And you just seen that, that.

Oh, my God.

I saw that live. That might be one of the best front kicks of all time.

That's perfect.

The technique is perfect.

I mean, and that's a real picture.

That's a lie.

He made his face look like that.

That's so crazy. He looks like and that's a real picture.
That's a lie. He made his face look like that.
That's so crazy.

He looks like

a grandpa

in a Pixar movie.

Doesn't he?

But oh,

that was a scary,

that was the scariest

one I've seen,

but my favorite knockout

I've ever seen was

that,

I mean,

we were all in the green room.

I don't know if you were there

for this one, but it was Whitney's weekend. It was like 12, 15 of us in that green room.
And it was when Izzy knocked out Poetan. Knocked out Pereira.
That was the greatest celebration of all time. At all? All time.
Fortify your mind. That line sticks with me.
I say it to myself. Not just that.
The whole thing from beginning to end. The three arrows into his body while he was down.
Breaks it. Yeah.
Izzy looks at his son and then falls on his back to mock his son because his son had mocked him. Years ago.
That's how many he is. Years ago.
It was Kill Bill level revenge. So he looks at his son and he falls down like the kid did.
Yep. A little kid.
And then he pops back up. Then he pops back up and then he gives the best post-fight speech in the history of the sport.
It was like he wrote it already.

It was beautiful.

I remember how beautiful it was.

I wish you could feel this one time.

In your life.

Yeah.

Here it is.

Oh.

And watch this.

God.

I mean, that hyped you up, dude. Bro watch as he finds his son Remembers He remembers Look look look Points to you Look you you you you Check this out That kid's like 7 years old That's fucking That's literally That's so petty That's so petty That is so petty he remembered found him oh yeah he's like oh yeah check this out mother fucker like I forgot now Joe was he lulling him was he when he he was really getting fucked up okay yeah his leg he told me that his leg was getting compromised already one of the things in the first fight so the first fight in the UFC Poiton wins and stoppage, and Izzy said, I wasn't even really hurt.
I just couldn't move because he had fucked my leg up so much. I couldn't get out of the way of his punches.
He's like, but I wasn't hurt, like real badly hurt to the point where he's wobbling. He's like, my leg wasn't working.
He kicked the shit out of his leg. His calf kicks are so nasty.
He's like, out of all the people in the sport, he's the worst guy to have kick your calves because he sneaks them in and there's two and three and before you know it Ah fuck my leg don't work anymore. God now you're trying to get away He and off you got one leg and you're trying to dance and pretend so you're putting all the weight on this leg So you're trying to pretend like you got two legs, but he can tell He could tell he's thud he hits it againud.
So he had Izzy in real trouble, but he opened up too much. He just opened up too much.
And, you know, in order to close in on someone and bang them out, you've got to leave yourself exposed sometimes. There's risks to reward, right? And the cautious, patient thing to do is you throw a lot of feints and then you throw your shots in.
But he was justeing off at this point and when you're just teeing off you're assuming that the guy's incapable of countering in a to a certain extent or not he's incapable you're you're taking the risk of getting countered you know whereas if he just kept playing that game and like fainting and moving and slowly picking and poking and knowing he just charged in a little too much He you know, he thought is he was hurt more than he was And then is he got him that right hand he got him fucking great one of the greatest knockouts of all time Especially when you think about like the significance of it and you think about like historically, you know two Great champions one guy who had knocked him out in kickboxing and then knocked him out in the UFC. And then he knocks him out cold and gets petty.
And then after petty, gets super inspirational. Yeah.
And gives one of the greatest post-fight speeches of all time. I think the greatest.
I don't think there's ever been a better one. Oh, maybe.
Maybe Rose Namajunas. That was right up there, too.
That one made me cry. Yeah, I remember that.
Yeah, yeah. She's sick.
She's a badass, too, dude. But yeah, that Izzy one, man.
I mean, he's the reason I never... He got me into the idea of UFC.
I never... Before he got into...
Because he was into the nerd stuff. And I couldn't believe that there was a guy who was being like, yo, I'm a nerdy dude.
I like nerd shit. And I'm kicking the fuck out of people.
And that got me locked in. And also like a sweetheart.
Sweetheart of a guy. So fun.
Just to hang out with and shoot the shit. He's silly.
He's fun. Oh, dude.
He's playful. You know, he's just a real good guy.
Real smart. Oh, he took us to a club when we were in Brisbane with me and Shultz and him.
Oh, no shit. And we just danced until like 3 in the morning.
Just fucked up. That's cool.
It was awesome. He took us to like some local spot that he likes, you know.
Oh, that's that's all he's just the fucking man but yeah the nerd shit made me lock in of life it's really interesting how different those guys i mean like we're talking about like dustin poirier like having a regular life like the same thing with izzy like how do you have a regular life after you did that you did that you did that in front of the whole world the whole world was watching it was there was so many consequences on that that fight because you were winning he was winning that first fight yeah he was winning you know he was ahead on points and then the fourth round or the it was the fourth or the fifth we got put out you know it was um you know it was devastating like this motherfucker got him again yeah because he got robbed in the first kickboxing fight. Izzy got robbed, in my opinion.
I went and I watched that fight several times. I mean, robbed is a tough description, but I would say I do not agree with the decision.
I think Izzy won that kickboxing fight. And then the second kickboxing fight, Izzy had him on skates.
Izzy had him hurt at one point in time, but he recovered, and then he caught Izzy with a left hook from hell. Just a left hook from hell.
That motherfucker hits so hard. Yeah, it looks scary.
He hits so hard and he wasn't as big back then as he is now. Like he, a lot of strength and conditioning work since then.
Like he doesn't look the same like then as he does now. Now he looks way more strong.
And so he knocks him out and then they fight in the UFC and he knocks him out again

And then Izzy Finally knocks him out and puts the arrows in his body for the three times. He beat him.
Yeah

I know said that was like he didn't even think of that. He just did three

He just felt like doing three, but it was really the three times he beat him and it just came out of his body out of his body

This motherfucker got me three times. Fuck it.
Oh, I don't know who was on stage that night, but we ruined their set because they came on stage. Oh, yeah, you just I'm in the middle of a joke.
You just hear 30 people in the green room go. And I thought Whitney, too.
All of us, because it was just, oh, this is a moment, dude. Yeah, you can feel it when it just the way he did it, and then when he's yelling.
But that's one of the most inspiring, that speech. Whenever I'm working out or doing anything, that Fortify Your Mind, it plays in my head.
Fortify Your Mind. Jamie played that for us one time.
It's like one of the greatest speeches of all time. And, you know, he asked me for the microphone, too.
He did. Yeah, I was like, yeah, man.
People, Earth, I need to say something.

Listen to me.

I hope every one of you behind the screens on this arena

can feel this level of happiness just one time in your life.

I hope all of you can feel how fucking happy I am

just one time in your life.

But guess what?

You never feel this level of happiness if you don't go for something in your own life when they knock you down where they try and shit on you when they talk shit about you and they try and put their foot on your neck if you stay down you will never ever get that resolve fortify your mind and feel this level of happiness as you rise one time in your life But I'm blessed to be able to feel this shit Again and again and again and again and again Woo! I mean, fuck, man Damn While you rise I mean, it sounds like something from a movie Like a speech before war It sounds like Like 15 writers sat in a room and came up with the perfect lines. Yeah.
And then... If that was in the movie Gladiator, I'd be like, oh yeah, that's how good that is.
And I bet that just came out of the moment. I didn't even ask him.
I should have asked him next time I talked to him. I bet that just came right out of the moment.
It was just right there. It was a perfect event for him.
It was perfect. The way it went down was perfect.
You could never script that better in a movie. No.
To see him flattened out cold and then put arrows in his unconscious body. He knocked out an Easter egg island, man.
Guy fucking Poetons. Easter egg island.
Huge. Easter egg island.
Poetons. Easter island.
It's not Easter. Oh, it's not Easter egg island.
You know what I'm trying to do? thought it was East Rhyme Island Bro, Alex Pereira is the scariest kickboxer that's ever competed in the sport He's like the one guy above all that I would say if he hits you once you're dead He just has to hit you once Out of all the guys I've ever seen fight I don't think anybody I could say that more than that guy Including in kickboxing, in everything He has more power than anybody I've ever seen In. I don't think anybody I could say that more than that guy.
Including in kickboxing.

In everything.

He has more power than anybody I've ever seen.

In fact...

Even boxing?

Even...

I don't think I've seen

anybody that hits harder

than that guy.

Anybody.

Wow.

Ever.

Ever.

Ever.

Except Francis Ngannou.

But Francis Ngannou's 265.

You know what I'm saying?

But in weight class.

Like weight class

to weight class.

Francis can put anybody out too.

But he's not

at the same skill level as Poetan. So when Poetan does it, it's like when he switch kicked Yuri Prohaska and KO'd him at the beginning of the second round.
Jesus Christ. What the fuck, man? And he KO'd him already at the end of the first round.
Yeah. This is terrifying.

That dude's terrifying.

Just absolutely terrifying.

That power is just from God.

It's like he's got a gift.

He's got a weird gift.

This is different than ever. You know, there's this machine where you punch it and it registers the amount of power.

With Francis, it was like 130-something.

Something like that, right?

Francis was like 130-something.

Poetan got 191.1 with his right hand and i don't even think his right hand's his power punch i think it's his left hook that's the big one i bet the big one the left hook is over 191 it's bananas his power but it's not like anybody else so when is he knocked knocked that guy out, you've got to understand, that's different.

That's awesome. That's different.

That's the top of the mountain.

That's the top of the mountain in the sport.

It's like one of the greatest accomplishments in the sport.

Yeah.

It really is.

Would you say Poiton is the fastest rise you've ever seen in the UFC?

Ever.

To two-division world champions?

Yeah.

No one's even close.

Because that guy never says no. They call him up.
You want to fight next weekend? Yes. Oh, yes, just wait.
He just fights. He fought with a broken toe.
He fought a broken hand the last time. His hand was broken and he had a norovirus.
And he still fought. Yeah, he's terrifying, dude.
He's crazy. I remember when he came to the mothership and they were like, the security was like, it was terrifying because he was like, I want to meet Joe now.
And the security were like, I don't know what to do. Yo, me and DC were in the hallway upstairs in the mothership and he's teaching us how he checks the calf kick.
How he throws the calf kick different than everybody else. And he's having Polino, his coach, is translating.
So it was me and DC and we're both standing there. And you know that little area where elevator is where the VIP is We're standing there in this little crowded areas like five of us and Poetons kicking my legs and he's kicking DC's legs and he's explaining how he lifts his leg up this way And this is how he checks it.
You're like, oh Shit and both DC and I would we tell people about this? Like I don't even know if I want to give this up because this is information because this is like very good information wow like he he never gets hurt with calf kicks and it's he like the way he checks them he does like a hacky sack thing a lot of people are doing it now but he was like one of the first guys to figure that out that he does like this hacky sack move so when you go to kick his legs instead of just checking it yeah where he turns it into the kick he he lifts his leg up, and his leg just kind of goes like this, and the kick just goes wee. It just kind of grazes it.
So it never pounds on his calf the way he pounds on theirs. When it's just straight and boom, you're getting that force while you're playing it.
But he also has a different style. Like he's not heavy on the front leg.
Like some guys are heavy on the front leg because they want to take him down quick. So they want to be able to move and take him down.
And those are the guys that are going to have a harder time getting away from that kick. Because you've got so much weight on that leg.
So he's just thud, thud, thud. And then now your calf is numb.
Your foot is limp. Your foot's just dangling around your ankle.
Oh, that guy's terrifying, dude. And again, how does a guy like that go and become a regular person how do you how do you integrate and just be a regular guy after that yeah it's got to be very weird like shab's figured it out yeah but shab got lucky that he found podcasting you know and he you know found his car show all gas no brakes so like he he found a way to transition and still have a good time yeah it's very few guys because you see i remember just the era of watching tyson go from fighting to finding a rhythm yeah you know and being in movies like fine there's like fighters like shawb elite fighter you know top 10 heavyweight in the ufc but then there's champions world champions guys who sell out arenas pay-per-view stars like connor how's that guy go and be a regular person how do you do that you can't yeah it's like i mean they there's no coaches for that where they teach you how to reintegrate and become normal yeah r.i.p george foreman man he feels like the only one who was like he found the grill and was like dude i'm fucking we made a lot of money with that grill but he also he was 36.
Yeah, and won it again, didn't he? Yeah. He went all the way through until he was 45, and he knocked out Michael Moore, which is crazy.
Like, nobody did that back then. When he came back at 36, I remember news articles about it, and I remember feeling sad because I knew George Foreman when I was a child.
George Foreman on TV when he knocked out Joe Frazier when Ali beat him in Africa. That was a famous story because Hunter S.
Thompson went there and he was supposed to watch it and write a story for Rolling Stone about it. But he was so sad that Ali was going to get fucked up that he decided not to go to the fight.
So he stayed in his hotel and just floated around the pool and he fucked up the whole assignment. And it was kind of in the documentary, they say it was kind of like a pivotal moment in the downturn of his life where he kind of like fucked his life up.
Really? Yeah, because he failed in his assignment. He didn't.
And back then you couldn't watch the tape. You know, this we're talking about the 1970s.
So after the fight's over, the fight's over. You did.
You missed the fight. the fights over you did you miss the fight you don't have a story and so he didn't have a story and he went all the way to Africa and just fucked off because he was just being silly and they're like oh my god I'm a failure I failed in my story and it was like a downturn in his life kind of takes a dark turn after that god it's crazy how much because you hear that and it's that speech that Ali gave which gave, which is also one of the most inspiring things ever, when he's like, I know you got him picked.
I know you all got him picked. You know where he gets that one? I'll show you how great I am.
And it's like, wow, to hear that, even Hunter S. Thompson was like, oh, wow, every casual must have been like, oh, Ali's about to get fucking.
Oh, you got to understand, man, George Foreman was a machine. He was different.
You ever seen George Foreman punch the heavy bag? No. Bro, he punches the heavy bag different than everybody.
Because he winds up. Not only does he wind up and punch the heavy bag, he has it stay still.
And he just hits it so hard. And it's so terrifying that that's all he has to do in a boxing match.
He just has to kind of cover up and get close enough to just whomp you. Just whomp, whomp.

And a lot of it is arm punches.

Look at this.

Listen to this.

Give me some volume.

And he had a trainer, Dick Sadler, a tiny bike comparison to Foreman,

and Sadler would hang on to the heavy bag, and Foreman would hit this bag.

Sadler would just literally be picked off his feet.

Oh, my God.

Foreman hitting the heavy bag is one of the more prodigious sights I've had in my life. It seems to me that of all the people I've seen hitting heavy bags, including Sonny Liston, no one ever hit it the way Foreman did.
So all he's practicing is hitting hard. He's not trying to be slick.

You notice the difference?

Yeah.

The way Canelo hits the heavy bag or Floyd hits the heavy bag.

They're working skills.

Remember when you see Tyson do it and that head is going crazy.

Tyson hit the heavy bag better than anybody in the history of the world.

Better than anybody.

Because he hit the heavy bag with all these crazy angles and speed.

Speed like a lightweight.

Speed like a lightweight.

He's bouncing. Bro, 214 pounds moving like a lightweight.
Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. Nobody was like that, dude.
I still maintain he's the greatest. I think, you know, a lot of people shit on me.
They say, no way. You don't know shit about boxing.
I just think that run when Cus D'Amato was training him to the title. Cus was already dead when he won the title to like a few fights afterwards losing cuss he lost his way a little bit, but but That run when he was the man when he knocked out Marvis Frazier.
I think that's the greatest heavyweight of all time. I don't think anybody's even close I think he fucks them all up.
Yeah, I think he fucks them all but they fight him during that time People like toredit things because of the whole career, but they don't want to give credit to a run. When you see somebody have a run that's truly.
It's all about the run. It's all about the run.
Unreal. That's why I always put BJ Penn in the list of all-time greats.
Because during that run, when BJ Penn beat up Diego Sanchez and when BJ Penn fucked up Sean Shirk and Joe Daddy Stevenson, when he did that, I'm like, that BJ Penn might be the baddest motherfucker alive. He might be the baddest motherfucker alive.
I would have put that BJ Penn, I would have loved to see that BJ Penn versus Khabib. That would have been fucking crazy.
And a lot of people think that's a ridiculous thing to say because Khabib was so dominant and BJ lost a bunch of times. I'm like, you're right.
Argument, I accept. I mean, I'm not.
Khabib might have beat him. He might have taken him down and mauled him the same way George St.
Pierre did. He might have.
Khabib's a big guy, especially for lightweight, and his grappling skills are unparalleled. Khabib grapples and does fantastic with elite, world championship caliber amateur wrestlers.
I've heard stories of Khabib dominating guys in the gym at aka that are elite wrestlers. That's how good Khabib is So he might have been able to do that to BJ Penn, but BJ Penn might have got him to BJ Penn might have got him BJ Penn especially when he's training with the Marinovich's and he had an unstoppable gas tank yeah Because he went and trained with Marv Marinovich was like was like this psychopath football trainer, who had these like radical plyometric training methods.
And you just, all you did was strength and conditioning. It was like, you know how to fight.
Stop all this fight training. We're just going to get you in the most insane state possible.
And when they did that, BJ Penn was unstoppable. That BJ Penn, if somebody could have corralled him and got him to stay with that guy and then train all the skills Outside of camp and then only train that way when he had world title fights and never fuck off who knows man Who knows he could have been the goat? He was so talented man.
So talented that motherfucker BJ Penn won the Mundial's okay He was the first American to win the Mundials ever.

The Mundials, the World Championships in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

As a black belt, three years into training.

Three years into training.

First of all, it's insane to get a black belt in three years.

But to get a black belt in three years and then win the World Championships is insane.

Insane.

And that's, without even hearing the context, that's crazy because I know three years isn't long enough to do most things. I was a brown belt for eight years.
I was. And you were dedicated.
It's not like you weren't busting your ass. Yeah, I trained a lot.
Like, you know, they don't give those out, man. You have to earn it.
It has to be real. Unless you're in a terrible gym.
If you're at a legit gym, you know, if I'm training with, John John Machano doesn't give out black belts. So you got to be real unless you're in a terrible gym if you're at a legit gym yeah you know if i'm training with john john machano doesn't give out black belts so you gotta be real to get that you gotta choke a lot of people to get that and bj penn got in three years three years yeah that's just natural gifts god-given it's ability he's an addict he said it to me like we had a conversation on the phone once it was really funny he goes i was talking to this guy and he was really young and he was like you know like he goes bj i admire you you know i copy your style and this and that and he goes man you got so good so quick he goes man i'm like you i'm an addict he goes i'm just addicted to jiu-jitsu and he's like fuck man then i realized that that's it i'm addicted to jiu-jitsu i got addicted to something really good i'm addicted and i was like that's exactly what it is right yeah yeah it's the same thing that can turn you into a junkie unfortunately just put that dial spin that needle some towards something else uh-huh and it's over i knew a dude who was a world championship caliber pool player and He was Squeaky clean he ate well he drank water.
He never drank alcohol. He didn't smoke cigarettes.
He didn't do drugs straight as an arrow super focused world championship caliber player then he hurts his back in a car accident and They get him on those pills and um falls apart man gets addicted to those pills the same way he was addicted to being a pool player the same thing that made him just obsess on pool where he's thinking about pool so much it becomes like the scariest guy to play the same thing got him with the pills and then he just overdosed and died young and but he was like one time um my buddies were hanging out with him and he fell asleep in his mashed potatoes just fell asleep in his food they were eating he just just grayed out on pills right into his food and they had to pick him up out of the food like oh no this is a guy that was guy that was like straight as an arrow, clean as a whistle, super focused, always dressed nice, always looked good, you know? Yeah. Thin, in shape.
Just one. Just focused.
Click to the left and it went. One click to the left.
One accident and then pills and then no one understanding how addictive those fucking pills were. The doctors never told you.
Nobody told anybody, you know? No, and you see those documentaries of how people who just broke a leg or something and then they get them addicted to pills and next thing you know, they lost their family, their job, everything. I have many people that I know that that happened to.
Many people that I know that got injured, got on pills, and just lost their lives. Jiu-jitsu guys, friends, a lot of people.
Especially, again, back before the information was available. Now everybody knows.
Pain pills are super, super addictive. Everybody knows someone in their family.
Yeah. Everybody knows someone that just can't get off them.
Everybody knows somebody that died. I know multiple people that have died from pain pills.
Yeah. And so that's what got them.
But it's the same thing, man. But that addiction is what makes you what makes you great yeah yeah it's that thing in your head that makes you obsess on something that's what it is it's like this thing where you're trying to figure this thing out and you just want to get better at it but that could be hijacked by gambling that could be hijacked by video games that could be hijacked by anybody anything plus thing i've seen guys yeah i've seen guys normal to me that like makes sense like biologically But the gambling one is the craziest one to me.
Yeah, that's the weirdest one because that might as well be heroin to those people That the whatever they're getting out of like risking a hundred thousand dollars on a football game I I just walk up, you motherfuckers, you motherfuckers.

Watching people do that, I was like, oh.

Yeah.

It gives me so much anxiety.

Oh, when you're in Vegas and you're walking through your casino, you just see people at that slot machine.

Yeah.

And they're just glazed over.

That's like the dumbest version of it, though.

But the big, risking everything on a game or risking everything on like a roll of the dice.

A roulette.

Yeah, a roulette.

Like that kind of thing is so nuts. It's nuts to watch it gives me so much anxiety like you ever see uncut gems at adam sandler movie one of the best movies i've seen it a hundred times dude so good it's on rihanna just shows adam sandler in a way of like oh this motherfucker can act act act act he can for real act for real act but yeah that movie i remember being in the theater and i'm with my wife and she's squirming and I was like What's wrong? You're alright and she's like this is making me uncomfortable Derek Yeah This is making me fucking uncomfortable Super uncomfortable and I was like yeah this movie it was because it's the adrenaline rush you're on you feel like you're gambling Well the movie's so good it bring it locks you in like we're talking about like comedies like hypnosis that movie was like hypnosisnosis.
It locked you in to this character and his decision-making and this addiction to gambling that he has. And all the shady characters around.
Everybody's pulling scams and everybody's doing this and that. And there's always something happening.
There's two movies that can lock you into a character like that where you're like, I don't even agree with this person and I'm so invested. And at the end of the movie, you're like, what the fuck? Incredible.
Spoiler alert. But it's one of those what the fuck moments.
We're like, what the fuck? Yeah. That movie, I shut it off, and I was just breathing heavy for five minutes.
Fuck, man. Oh, and I like a movie like that, too, where you're like, this feels real.
This feels like it could happen to my neighbor, happen to my best friend. This could happen to anyone.
You just get lost in this. Yeah, your mind is weird, man.
People's minds are strange. Minds can go down these weird pathways.
Most people don't have a good management system for it, either. So it's like you're driving this car with no traction control and too much horsepower it's flying all over the road and you know and you freaked out you're always on 10 the good yeah dude fuck another movie that makes you feel that way is there will be blood when you're watching because that's the same where you're watching a guy yeah just go through this life and you're like i'm getting uncomfortable he's killing his fake brother and he's fucking you know and by the end like you said the ending of that one as well where you're like the fuck'm getting uncomfortable.
He's killing his fake brother and he's fucking, you know what I mean? And by the end, like you said, the ending of that one as well, where you're like, what the fuck? The fuck is this? I showed it to my wife and she literally goes, Derek, why the fuck did you show me that? And I was like, you had to see it. You needed to experience this.
It's how good this movie is. I love a movie like that where you give me an experience.
That's one of the greatest movies ever. Ever.
For experience. Just like for sheer, like, just becoming that guy.

Yes.

He was that guy.

You believed every single second of it.

There was no soap opera acting going on at all.

No, dude.

This is my son, H.W.

The way he talks.

Yeah.

The way he is.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

And then you see him devolve into this crazy billion.

Because when we see crazy billionaires, we don't really. and it's like to see how a person becomes a crazy billionaire because he's not a regular guy in the beginning of the movie he falls breaks his leg in that hole you know what i mean he's a regular dude there's a little element of that guy in everybody that's a crazy billionaire there has to how do you get there you have to manage that the same way everybody manages everything else.
Like, imagine, like, trying to manage being Elon Musk. Imagine trying to manage that.
Imagine. Just trying to manage that.
I don't know how he finds the time. It doesn't make any sense.
It doesn't make any sense. Like, it doesn't even seem real.
Like, it could possibly be real. Yeah, because now he works for the government, along with still trying to get us to Mars and all these other cool things he's doing you know what i mean and people are scrutinizing him at a level like they want him to be perfect in every way and it's like you don't get that out of these wacky geniuses you don't get perfect you you get unbelievable capabilities mixed in with all kinds of flaws that even he makes fun of

But you know he's even talked openly about like self-inflicted wounds that he gives himself on Twitter He's posted about it with like a laughter emojis like but he's having a good time He is on that would be like watching the there will be blood guy also tweeting his thoughts right yeah You would see some shit where you're like, what the fuck?

Yeah, well, he's not that way.

He's not like a murderous fucking psychopath who steals people's oil. I drink your milkshake.
He's not that. No, but I just, the idea, like you said, it's a little bit in him.
It has to be to conquer like that, I feel like. Well, I think his drive is different than most of them and is his drive is accomplishments and innovation like he's obsessed with getting people to Mars he's obsessed with the engineering involved in what they've accomplished already with SpaceX the ability to take a booster shoot it off into space and the booster comes down and lands and gets caught with robot arms is so off the charts beyond anything anyone else has accomplished in the world of rocketry and space science and all the engineering involved.
It's off the charts. Like what SpaceX has done is it's not appreciated enough because he's so polarizing politically because of his affiliation with Trump and because of all the propaganda that has been spun his way.

There's some definite natural reactions that people have to him that are organic and real. And they don't they get upset at some of the things he does.
That's real. But also there's a gigantic propaganda machine that's trying to paint him as a literal Nazi.
And they're doing it because they have a vested interest in keeping all these NGOs and all their funding in place exactly the same way it's always been. And having a genius go into all of your fucking booking, bookkeeping and accounting is not good if you've been unchecked for decades and you have a fucking just an unstoppable budget and a lot of waste and a lot of incompetence and probably a bunch of fraud and theft too.
Of course. Yeah.
I mean, they've acknowledged that. One of the things they said, which is hilarious, they said he found, I think it was, was it Social Security or Medicaid, a bunch of fraud? And then they were saying, well, actually, the government had already identified this two years ago Okay, but why didn't why didn't you have this press conference and say Did you just cover it up? Did you make a big deal? Did you stop it in its tracks? Did you reverse it? Did you prosecute people did you get the money back? Why why are you saying yeah? We already knew about that like that's not good enough Like what did you what did you do? How come you didn't find out about that $250 million that went to transgender animal studies?

Like, you didn't notice that one?

You didn't notice $21 million through Iraq and Sesame Street?

You didn't notice that?

You didn't notice, like, fucking, like, just so much of it is kooky.

It's so much money.

And the way NGOs and nonprofits work, I didn't understand it. I didn't know that it's all like cyclical money that's like flowing around there's billions of dollars it's just flowing around it's got a lot of it's unchecked and they've been doing it forever and that's why we're 36 trillion dollars in debt you know not good how how how do i know how does it get that bad i don't know but then there's also legitimate arguments on the other side, like the other side is making a very legitimate argument about the right to due process if you get processed and shipped out of the country and put in a prison in El Salvador.
You know, what is the quote? Was it Benjamin Franklin's quote about innocent and that it's better to allow 10 guilty people to go free than one innocent person arrested. You know, I'm on that side of things.
Yeah. That's my, I mean, I think due process exists for a reason.
And the reason is it is horrific for someone to be accused of something they didn't do, be imprisoned for crimes they didn't commit and then live in a cell live in a cage with a bunch of people who did commit shit here it is benjamin franklin it's better 100 guilty persons should escape than one innocent person should suffer that that is wisdom yeah that has survived hundreds of years it's incredibly accurate and it is the foundation of freedom like we have to make sure that these people are actually guilty. Otherwise, we become monsters you can't like what is that? When you fight monsters be careful that you don't become one come one.
Yeah. Yeah, that's very important It's very important.
You know, you can't do that but also you can't you also have to deal with the fact that the current administration is dealing with the past administration allowing known gang members and terrorists to go right through the border unchecked that a lot of them they know got through. They don't know the exact numbers, but they know there's millions and millions of people illegally just walk through unchecked.

And a bunch of them have to have criminal records.

A bunch of them have to be dangerous. And we've seen crimes that have been committed.
It doesn't help anybody on the progressive side to deny the fact that that's a real problem. And if it happens to your family, God forbid, I don't want it to happen to anybody's.
But if it does, you will feel a sting of regret if you supported that unlike anything you've ever experienced in your life you'll be like i mean it's you know it's one of those things where to support one side of this you have to deny some like basic human values either way like to support just rounding people up and just assuming they're all gang members.

I'm not saying they're doing that.

But this is the worst case scenario, right?

They get a bunch of people in a room.

They rope them all in.

And one guy is just someone's cousin picking someone up to give them a ride home.

That's possible.

And now you're back on the one innocent person.

Now you're right back. And what if that dude is not doing anything wrong and he's got some stupid tattoos and they decide that this guy's a gang member and now you're in a prison in El Salvador and you're not even from El Salvador.
And now you were just a hairdresser or you were just a tattoo artist or whatever you are. You came over here and maybe you got a green card and maybe you don't.
Maybe you were just given asylum because a lot of people from Venezuela were given asylum in America. And then you get shipped to El Salvador where you're not even from El Salvador.
So that the fact that that exists scares the shit out of me, but also the fact that they were just letting terrorists and gang members flow freely into the country is fucking horrible. And when you talk about innocent people, what about the innocent people that got murdered by terrorists?

Well, not terrorists. That really hasn't

happened. But gang members

and this trender Wagwa

that were taking over those apartment buildings

in Aurora, Colorado. That's scary

shit, man. Armed with machine

guns, taking over apartment buildings.

What are we talking about here?

What are we talking about? You're letting that happen?

You're not sending in the troops to stop this? Yeah, and you think that wouldn't happen in your head. You're like, that can't happen in America, in Colorado.
Bro, they got a guy that had done that in California, and they refused to deport him because they said that California is a sanctuary state. They're, like, fighting to keep a known gang member free in America.
The whole thing is bananas. It's almost like you don't want to go full tinfoil hat Sam Tripoli style and just decide that they're trying to destroy America.
But if I was going to try to destroy America, that's how I would do it. I'd take over the political process, impart censorship on all the social media, gaslight people to no end, consistently do it.

AstroTurf stadiums filled with people pretending they support something, pay them to be there,

manufacture a movement, and slowly but surely bring chaos to all the cities.

Allow DAs to get elected that are the worst when it comes to protecting people and the best when it comes to freeing violent criminals. And that's really their goal.
They can just use words like racial justice and just send murderers back out into the streets. You just create chaos.
Defund the police. Now you have no police.
If I wanted to destroy America, I would do it this way. What you just described sounds like a plan like a plan from another place.
Yeah. It's like, oh.
If you wanted to destroy America. If we really wanted to, not with war, but let's just slowly let them kill themselves type stuff.
And then have them at each other's back. At each other's throats, rather.
Constantly have them fighting over political issues. Let's get rid of Roe v.
Wade. They're a little too happy right now.
Get rid of Roe v. Wade and then the liberals are up in arms.
How are you, motherfucker? which was getting rid of Roe v. Wade they're a little too happy right now get rid of Roe v.
Wade and the liberals are up in arms how you motherfucker which was getting rid of Roe v. Wade was actually a good move if you were a Democrat because then people get upset and then they really want to vote like you could probably ignite a lot of people and that was like there was some famous videos there's one famous video of this lady celebrating that Kamala Harris is gonna win and she was like reproductive freedom women came out to to vote in unprecedented numbers.
I'm sure you've seen it. It's a video of this lady mocking this guy working at a liquor store.
Did you ever see it? It's so good. It's so good because it's like this lady and the way she's talking, you can't be a good person and talk to someone this way or even about someone this way and be happy in the way you're happy yeah like it's like people like to be shitty to people and think that it's justifiable to be shitty if that person disagrees with you so you can be shitty whereas the guy in this story is not being shitty to her at all but she's being super shitty to this guy and uh but she's talking about reproductive rights because like that was like one of the big things that got people to come out and vote for the Democrats yeah if I was day if I was playing 4d chess and I was Democrat I was like this what we do get rid of ourselves get rid of ourselves get Rosa get a real set and then campaign on that okay now we got all the women pissed off because women don't want men telling them what to do bitch you can't get pregnant shut the fuck up shut the fuck up just shut the fuck shut up until you can get pregnant shut the fuck up you know it's like this or this lady you got it jimmy you can find this video it's so funny this poor lady but it's about reproductive rights like she's she's saying that and it was in a lot for a lot of people but that was a big one so like you would do that you would do that you would get rid of that you would try to get rid of the Second Amendment fuck the Second Amendment we're gonna get real all guns I don't fucking gun guys get up for the Republicans you know and then you know you would say we need open borders because we need the our society's population collapse and they're starting to say things like that and we need you know who's gonna pick cotton they're essentially marketing it because they're saying Americans don't want these jobs,

so we have to bring people in to pick our crops.

Who's going to clean your toilets?

People are openly saying that, not realizing how racist this sounds.

Oh, I remember that.

One white lady, she told me, she was like, who's going to clean your toilet if they get rid of all the Mexicans?

It's like, what the fuck?

Who said that?

It was like one of those crazy views.

He's one of them. It'll release a show like that.
like, what the fuck? Who said that? It was like one of those crazy views. One of those view bitches.

He's one of them.

Or at least a show like that.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hilarious.

So there was that going on.

If you wanted to destroy society and make it worse, what would you do?

You'd bring people in from a third world country, don't have them change anything, financially

incentivize them to be there.

Give them free money while you're not helping the poor people in America.

They were giving them debit cards, free housing, free food, putting them up in the Roosevelt Hotel in New York City. Why, you old shit? If you want to destroy society, that's how you would do it.
That's how you would do it. I mean, that sounds like it's working.
Like it's going in that direction. So the problem with things that are going in a radical direction, then there's an overcorrection.
So the overrection is lack of due process the overcorrection is like round them all up ship them to jail like that's like some things that you say when you're not thinking things through like what do you do about all the criminals take them all fucking send them to El Salvador yeah what about due process no fuck that but here's the problem would fuck that what if are an enemy of, let's not say any current president. Let's pretend we got a new president, totally new guy, in 2028, and this is a common practice now of just rounding up gang members with no due process and shipping them to El Salvador.
You're a gang member. No, I'm not.
Prove it. What? I gotta go to court.
no due process That's dangerous Joe that's dangerous that's dangerous that's dangerous that's we got to be careful that we don't become monsters while we're fighting monsters but then again you got to find these motherfuckers that are here that have terrorist cells and that are ready to fucking blow up malls in Dallas and do crazy shit, which

Definitely they've thwarted before. Yeah, so this is the best argument for

Intelligence agencies is that there's real threats, you know like for someone to say fuck all the CIA fuck the FBI

What are you crazy? Who's gonna investigate real threats?

Like the real world exists as much as you want to pretend that the you know that we can all go kumbaya tomorrow

I don't give a fuck. Yeah, and they're on EBT cards where you're getting money from the government For free every month Because you're in a sanctuary city and you get free food and you're a criminal And then one of them like two of them assaulted cops in New York City and then got out got free no cash bail No cash bail you just get out They assaulted cops and then they're on the street given the Tupac to the camera.
Have you ever seen that? No, Joe. What? First of all, we've got to show you the Kamala Harris lady.
You got the Kamala Harris lady? I can't find it at all. You can't find it? They probably scrubbed it from the internet.
She's being shamed. I'm not really sure what to look for.
You're putting a tinfoil hat on my head, right? That's how I'm feeling. We don't have to show it.
Because we've already showed it a bunch of times. It's how you would do it if you wanted to destroy America.
I'm not saying. So the question becomes like how much of it is our own folly? How much of it is just natural human behavior? How much of it is like the right wants law and order.
So we don't want law and order. The right wants to punish prisoners.
We want to know that's it's racist racism You know, it's like What is it? Well, that's just teams fighting the title. Yeah, but also I feel like it's manipulated as well And maybe more so than anything else.
I feel like it's manipulated and again if you wanted to turn us into China and What I mean by that is a country that's that's facial recognition everywhere, social credit score system that's attached to all of your banking, your ability to travel, everything you do. If you make anything online that's against the government, you could be disappeared.
You could be locked up. You could be made a political prisoner.
You know, this is fun. It felt like we were heading that way.
Yeah. I think this is something that, I think it was Metzger that said this.
No, it was Duncan that said this about Ukraine and Russia. He was like, do you realize like the Ukrainians that we're killing or that rather the Russians that we're killing by sending over arms and money to fund the Ukrainians? Not saying that we shouldn't do this, but he's saying that a lot of those guys are being forced to go to the front line.
And a lot of those guys are prisoners who get released in order to fight. So what if you're a prisoner because you wrote a bad tweet against Putin and they lock you up? And then all of a sudden Ukrainians are killing you with American weapons Because you tweeted bad against Putin.
So it's Putin's way of like eliminating. Yeah any any dissent From like and they don't even arrest that many people online in comparison to or for doing things online in comparison to the UK The UK is getting in on it full steam ahead The UK is arresting people for anything that makes people uncomfortable online They show up at your house and just fucking arrest you they've arrested like how many people have been arrested in the UK for social media posts In the last year you you're gonna it's gonna blow your mind It's gonna blow your mind.
This is just post on social media like get you know we need to send these illegal immigrants back saying shit like that yeah you get arrested arrested hate crime even if I'm joking even if I'm maybe I'm just fucking having there's no jokes no jokes online anymore not in the UK not only that but the guy was the head of the UK they're saying now that they could potentially arrest Americans who have posted things online when they visit the UK. Yeah, I was reading a post about this.
Like, this law could potentially be used in this way. that if you are a person in america and you're posting horrible shit about the uk government

or the immigrant problem or whatever they have um context find available information exact figures

2025 not fully comprehend. 2023.
In 2023, 12,183 arrests were made across 37 police forces in the UK under Section 127 of the Communications Act. 2003 in Section 1 of the Malicious Communications Act in 1988,

equating to about 33 arrests per day.

Laws cover sending grossly offensive, indecent, obscene, or menacing messages via electronic

communication networks, which includes social media posts and also DMs.

DMs.

So people are arrested for horrible DMs that nobody gets to see other than the friend that you're sending it to Supposedly you have no idea what the context is. That's great into this one time Recently it said that a lot of people may have been arrested, but many of them were not prosecuted and released but it's still after right Okay, that's cute.
It's still Horrifying because what you're doing is scaring people into compliance They don't want to be arrested again, and they certainly don't want to risk being prosecuted But they're they're forcing people to censor themselves The job it said that they're breaking the law. I don't know what's right well.
No, they do have a law that there There is they don't have freedom of speech the way we have in America So they do have these hate speech laws so they are breaking a law But the question is should that law exist and I say no no that law should not exist you shouldn't be able to put someone in a cage for saying in some of them are not that offensive some of them are pretty fucking calm only only a 1119 sentences occurred for these offenses okay but the problem is now now go look at how many people were arrested in Russia for social media posts. It's drastically less.
But we think of Russia as being the country that censors people. China and Russia, that's what you think.
Which they do. You can't criticize Putin.
You can't go balls out. You're risking your life.
You're in real trouble. Not excusing that.
But what they're doing in the UK is at a higher level of magnitude. I mean, maybe they're not torturing people and sending them to the front line of Ukraine, but they are putting the fear of being arrested in people.
If you say something that they don't want you to say on social media. The jump from 2016 to 2023 is crazy.
Look at Russia. 2023, 54 people.
So in the time where 12,000 people were arrested in the UK, 54 people were imprisoned for online hate speech in Russia. Information isn't very...
Russia's 100% accurate with their... Easy to fly.
Shut up, Jamie. From 2010 to 2024, Novaya, Gazeta, Europe reported over 30,000 criminal and administrative cases related to social media posts, with about 1,200 being criminal cases.
So they had 1,200 criminal cases. Common charges include extremism, inciting hatred, or insulting state symbols.

That's where it gets sketchy.

I can't even make fun of the flag or a monument?

I can't make fun of it?

Nope.

Insulting.

Making fun is insulting.

There's no room for humor in a communist country.

UK sucks, dude.

But it's not, you know, Russia's not communist really anymore. It's really It's a military dictatorship essentially I mean Putin was the president and he could only do a certain amount of time and then he stopped being the president He's like fucking I'm the president again, and then no one's gonna win going against him You don't have elections, but what are you doing that guys wind up getting poisoned and shot? And they're like it's old school.
Yeah, he's's fucking it's old school He's running that place. It's his that's his you're not taking over man I seen that picture of him, you know shirtless on a horse.
I'm like don't fuck with this dude. Yeah, he's a killer He's a former KGB killer like he's like the real D's a judo black belt.
He's a fucking he's a bad man Yeah, you know like you don't and he runs that country and they arrest less people Yeah, what the fuck is going on in the UK? They're they're leaning into the same direction that I was talking about that was scaring me about America I feel like there's a plot. There's a plot to diminish the fabric of society.
Look if you want okay, let's Let's just look at the whole overall world and is it fair? It's definitely not fair There's clearly there's a reason why these people in these third-world countries want to come to Europe and while they want to come to America Because it's better here and it's better there and they want a better life. I get it But why are they fleeing where they came from? Well, I don't know what is we bombed the shit out of those places.
We bombed the shit out of those places. We drone bombed them.
We overthrew democratically elected governments with coups. There's a lot of instability that's caused by us.
I'm like, well, it's our fault. We're going to take these people in.
I think instead of fucking up this one country by letting everybody come in and drag it down to a third world country, I think a better solution is figure out a way to prop up these other countries. The same way, I mean, in a simplistic version of it, like if you want everything for yourself, you're selfish.
But you want everything for all your boys, too, and everybody. Everybody gets better.
Yeah. The whole world gets better.
So instead of like shipping off jobs to Mexico where they get a dollar a day, maybe pay them real money.

Pay them what you're supposed to be paying them maybe give them health care maybe give them maybe if you are an American citizen and you want to hire someone to do something you have to hire someone under the same structure of ethics that we agree to in the United States Period yes period for all humans all over the world and If they're the money translates lower because the American dollar is worth more Okay, but balance it out make it that you know they can afford food. They can afford housing they can afford health care Make laws agreed where we're and then you all of a sudden you prop up the whole world and the whole world stops having third world countries, including in the United States.
Why do we still have ghettos? Why have we put all this money into funding all these different things with USAID all over the world? South Side of Chicago has the same amount of murders every year if not more. More? Every year? Every year.
Baltimore, same place. We had a cop in once, way back in the day, that he was a cop in Baltimore.
And while they were working one day, he found a rap sheet, like a rest sheet, of all these different crimes that were committed in all these different areas from like the 1970s. And it was all the same shit that's happening today.
And he realized like, oh my God, it's never going to end. Like you're never going to fix this.
It's all the same problems in the same areas and nothing's being done. The same drug arrests, the same violence, the same this, the same that, all in the same places.
And all in these areas, mysteriously, all in these same areas that had been redlined during the Jim Crow era, where black people couldn't buy houses where the white neighborhoods are. They had to buy houses in one area.
And those areas are fucked. And no one's corrected it.
Even now. It doesn't make sense.
But do you think that's just that hard to let go, that feeling of I have to be better than someone. It's nice to know you're doing better than somebody else.
It's something about human beings that they like. I think it's convenient to ignore people that you're not going to profit from.
If you are investing a bunch of money in green energy or investing a bunch of money in whatever stupid shit you're doing with windmills, someone's making money. There's a lot of people making money is money being exchanged if you're fixing South side of Chicago if you're like creating community centers and you're like rope robust education and counseling and Providing mentorship and paths to jobs and giving people like an opportunity to make real money That's enticing so they don't want to sell drugs or kill people.
Like, how are you making money doing that? You're not. And so people don't do it.
It's that simple. But it's like what you just said.
Everyone would naturally, if everyone's doing good, the world would naturally rise. Exactly.
But it would take time. I guess you're right.
It's not a direct profit. It would take generations.
Yeah. But there's no effort being done to it.
So this guy that's seeing these crimes that were committed in the same area in Baltimore in the 1970s, you know, and this is in the 2000s.

You've seen the same shit.

It's like, this is crazy.

Like, this is just, this is the real systemic racism.

This is the real, like, problem in this.

It's not like black people can't make it in America.

No, no, no, no, no.

It's like there's an echo of past atrocities that exists in these pockets that's not being addressed. It's never been healed.
Yeah. It's never been healed.
And there's a convenience in allowing it to stay that way. Like you can count on them to vote a certain way.
If you keep giving them welfare, if you keep giving them food stamps, the people that want that are always the Democrats. So those people are always going to vote Democrat for you.
So it's within your best interest to not make them conservative Republicans or very disciplined and work real hard and get to the gym at 4.30 before they show up at work at 7 and kick some ass and make some fucking money, Wilson.

You know?

You don't want that.

It's convenient because then they'll vote for you every time.

As soon as they start making money and realize, like, what is the government spending my fucking taxes on?

That's what changes you immediately. Changes you.
The moment you make some money. Oh, you become a Republican.
Quick. Oh, dude.
Quick. You have any hippies that I know became Republicans after they started making money? Yeah.
Yeah. Because 50% of your money and you're living in a shitty, you're like, wait, I don't, hold on.
And they're letting criminals out. You're like, what is happening? Why does my car keep what do you do why are there people camped in front of my fucking house i gave you 50 of my money yeah this is crazy dylan has a great bit about it about uh the california offering tax uh breaks for people that take a homeless person into their house yeah he's the man dude it's one of the clips that he put up because he's got a new special that's out now.
Yeah. That he filmed at the mothership.
But it's so funny and so true. It's like they're just trying to destroy society.
What better way to destroy your house? You have a wife and child. What better way to destroy your house than to bring some fentanyl addict in? This is how you're going to create more chaos.
And then California is trying to pass a new law that's being proposed where if someone breaks into your house and threatens your life, you're not allowed to shoot them. In your house.
Imagine someone breaks into your house and is trying to get you, has a knife coming towards you. You're not allowed to kill them.
What am I allowed to do? You're supposed to run away. This hasn't passed yet.
There's no way it can. That doesn't even...
It's so crazy, dude. It's so crazy.
It's so crazy. It's almost like they're trying to destroy people's confidence in law enforcement, confidence in community, the feeling of being safe, ramp up everybody's level of anxiety, and then offer a solution.
And the solution is to disarm everybody. The solution is to clamp down further and further on gun laws, make it very difficult to have a gun.
You can't have magazines more than 10 rounds. You can't concealed carry.
You can't do this. You can't do that.
If you have it in your car, you have to have the bullets in the trunk and the, yeah, yeah, the pistol's supposed to be locked up. Yeah, there's all these crazy laws that are just slowly but surely trying to take away your— And you can say, no, those laws to keep people from road rage and shootings and— Criminals commit crime.
Laws don't stop criminals from breaking laws. Laws keep law-abiding people from protecting themselves.
That's— Damn. That's the fact.
That's the fact. A criminal's going to do it anyway.
The gun's illegal. The fucking identification number has been sawed off.
What are you talking about? Like you said, they've been driven to that point. If I'm at that point, there is no rule that's going to stop me.
There's no rule. Have you ever seen that show, Trafficked? This is an amazing show called Trafficked.
And they went down to L.A. and they followed these rogue cops who are bringing guns into Mexico and selling them.
Whoa. Yeah.
That's one of the episodes. That's fucking crazy.
Yeah, Mariana Benzeller. She's amazing.
She's been in the podcast a few times. She's brilliant.
It's fearless, this lady. She went to Colombia into the jungle where they were making coke and then went with the mules, hiked it out with backpacks full of coke.

They had backpacks and she followed them and hiked it out.

They showed her how they make the coke, where they make the coke.

Yeah.

They changed the wording on this bill.

Oh, interesting.

This is where it's scratched out.

Scratched out part says the bill would eliminate certain circumstances

under which homicide is justifiable, including amongst others, in defense of a habitation or property. The bill would additionally clarify circumstances in which homicide is not justifiable, including among others, when a person uses more force than necessary to defend against a danger.
What does that mean? That means you shoot a guy more than once. I got to know he's down.
Right, but you killed him instead of just shooting him. That's what they're saying.
But you don't under... With this bill, this bill is like not understanding fight or flight and violence and the chaos of realizing your life is in great danger.
Or your family's life. You just want to shoot that person.
This is what it says about that part. Okay.
The bill would eliminate that provision. The bill would also specify certain circumstances in which homicide is not justifiable, including when a person was outside their habitation or property and did not retreat when they could have safely done so, when a person used more force than a reasonable person would have.
So that right there. Listen to that.
A person was outside their habitation or property and did not retreat when they could have safely done so.

Meaning if someone's breaking into your house, you're on the outside of the house.

You don't go into the house to confront them.

You retreat.

You're supposed to retreat.

What if I have family in the house?

That's a good question.

This rule already is like, well, this doesn't make sense.

It says it specifies the circumstances, so that might be, you know. But no, but Jamie, you would do it in the context of the sentence.
This bill would also specify certain circumstances in which homicide is not justifiable, including when a person was outside their habitation or property. But it's not, like, it's not.
If you're outside, it's saying you have to try to retreat. Right, right, right.
But what if someone's in your home? That doesn't clarify that. So there's circumstances when it still could be.
It's just that there's certain circumstances when it's not justifiable. It still could be.
Right. But the certain circumstances is listed, including when a person was outside.
I'm just saying he brought up a situation. Jamie, it's obvious.
It's obvious. I'm just saying.
I know. I read.
I'm reading. This is not necessary.
And did not retreat when they could have safely done so. When a person used more force than a reasonable person.
That's so subjective. I don't know.
That's not a real thing. What about Tim Kennedy? Is he reasonable? That's not a reasonable.
What about Jocko? Is Jocko reasonable? Yeah. But people have to keep their cool.
What did you say, Jamie? That's when you win a good jury, too. Good luck.
I'm just saying. Why would you count on that? I'm not saying you're counting on it.
I'm just saying that's why you want one. I didn't say that's why you need one.
I said that's why you want one. Don't you? If I was a judge, I'd say you're argumentative.
However, the bill would specify that homicide is justifiable if the initial aggressor actually, and in good faith, tried to stop fighting and indicated they wanted to and tried to stop fighting as specified or in cases of mutual combat the initial aggressor gave the opponent an opportunity to stop fighting so if someone starts fucking you up and then gives you an opponent it gives you an opportunity rather to stop fighting and you don't you keep fighting them and kill them but they've already started fighting with you They've already like that's you're in danger zone like to be reasonable while your life is in danger is to Open yourself up to getting fucked up because it's like no. No.
Come on, man It was a bang motherfucker. You're out cold like you're you've already engaged in violence It's so subjective whether or not you should stop not stop.
Like when you should stop is when that person's 100% incapacitated. And that might mean kill them if you don't know what's going to stop them.
If you have a gun and someone is charging at you with a fucking machete and you bang, bang, bang while they're still alive and that winds up killing them. You could have just shot them once.
You could be in front of a jury and they could say you could have stopped with the first bullet And then you have a coroner says yes The first bullet was fatal or yes the first bullet would have stopped him, but he shot him two additional times like Now you're in jail Now you're in jail because you were in terrified of your life And you thought you were gonna die and you did something in a split moment where you're not even thinking straight. Like you're...
To ask an accountant to keep his shit together. Look, if you ask a Navy SEAL to keep his shit together, they're probably like, oh, finally someone broke into my house.
Oh, this motherfucker's going to... Some guy actually did try to break into Tim Kennedy's house.
and he he you know he didn't even hurt the guy he just said you made a giant mistake came up with a gun and got rid of the guy that's like those guys who start bar fights with uf like with ufc do you see those kind of videos where you're like oh you see the joe shilling one right oh he bumps and he kind of like yeah something like dude's dancing and just being a dick yeah and then he gets him at the bar and just bump up, bump it so quick. Well, the dude tried to get him to flinch.
Yeah, he jumped at him. He jumped at him and he just, ding, ding, ding.
The wrong dude. You mean, that's karma.
Yeah. That's almost like, those things almost make me feel like we're in a simulation.
Like, that's supposed to happen in that order, you know? Like, when someone just hits a level of douchiness and— You're supposed to run into Joe Schilling. Yeah.
That's the perfect karmic response to, like, a negative and a positive and a thing, you know, like, in and out. We just have—I just feel like we have to be really careful in this country that we don't get more divided by all this fucking political chaos that we're experiencing.
We've got to be real careful, like as human beings that we don't fall prey to that. This is not, it's not smart for anybody.
No, dude, it's not smart. And we're just, there's so much unnecessary conflict, you know? Well, it's usually, and it's just people picking that one side.
And like you said, like you like you can't Of course I don't think people should be coming to the country and all that stuff But I also do think women should be able to do what they want with the fucking baby in their stomach You know to be like it's a point right to a point of course But like you said if some woman got raped and she's pregnant now like yeah Let her what are we doing right now? What are we doing? What are we doing? Where's the human aspect of it? And then also, like, if you don't feel for people that walked here with their babies because they just want to get a job as a landscaper. Let them have it.
But how do you know? You know, I think the process for getting people in should be better. But it's also, it's like, how many can we support? Like, what kind of a strain is this on Social Security? What kind of a strain is this on Medicare? You know, have this been – and is there a way to like make where they're from better? And wouldn't that like increase revenues? Like if all of a sudden you had another country right next door that's buying and trading and making tons of money, wouldn't that be better for everybody? Like if they stopped being a third world country and became a first world country, wouldn't that be super beneficial? Has that never come up in any of these U.S.
of like, oh, why don't we just try to make this place a better place? This is what you got to realize when it comes to politicians. Most of them are already dead or on their way.
Unless you're J.D. Vance, he's really young.
Tulsi Gabbard's young. Yeah,'s the shit most of these people when you're in office like Trump is almost 80 Biden do you see what Biden said yesterday what did he say oh Jay would you see it nope they let him talk he's like what 80 something 90 out of nowhere they let him yeah yeah yeah they're letting him talk and I'm like who's letting him talk this is crazy here here i'll send you this jb it's so silly he's he's fucking gone bro he's gone they let him talk they just let him get out in the open and put a microphone in front of his place his face but i guess like as a former president you can kind of request i like a speak my mind.
One day just had just enough mixture.

They filled it. You can kind of request.
I like a, speak my mind.

One day just had just enough mixture. They filled him up with enough peptides.
Got a little pep in his step. You're feeling good.
Yeah, he's a former president. Give me some volume and go full screen because this is, you got to see his face.
They never turned right to go to Claymont High School. I wondered why.
I asked my mom, why? So in Delaware, they're not allowed to go to school, in public school, with white kids hunting. That sparked my sense of outrage of the kid, just like it does, I mean, and these young kids right here can tell you, things affect them when they learn about something that's really just unfair and unjust.
You know, my dad, my dad was an honorable man. And my dad used to have an expression.
He said, Joey, your job is about a lot more than a paycheck. It's about your dignity.
It's about respect. It's about being able to look your kid in the eye and say, honey, it's going to be okay.
You mean it. That's what you're all about.
That's what the legislation is about. It's about dignity.
Simple dignity. Everyone, everyone deserves to be treated with dignity.
Regardless of their standard. Regardless of their economic situation.
Regardless of who they are, making sure that more than 60 million Americans

who are living with disabilities are treated with dignity

is who we are as Americans.

That's what it's about.

I hope he does more.

We should have him at the mothership.

Yeah, we got him. Let him go up.
Give him 10.

Give him an hour.

At school, in their communities. Give him a drink.
He might die. In every corner of American life, laws like the ADA need advocates like you.
Okay. You can tell he got something.
He took something that morning. He was fired up.
He was feeling good. They got him on a good dose.
He had a nice nap. He had a good nap.
Nice nap. But it's crazy to let him do that because now we know he wasn't really running the country.
Yeah. We used to think he was actually running the country and now they're like, no, he didn't even see those executive orders.
Like, that was all auto penned. He didn't even sign those things.
It is crazy how old they are. That's a weird thing.
That auto pens is a weird thing. How lazy are you, bitch? How many things are you signing that you have to auto-pen things?

That's crazy that you can auto-pen.

The whole thing is supposed to be signature.

Yeah, that's your job.

That's also, that's the thing.

That's your job.

You read it, you go over it, you make sure it's right, and you sign it.

What the fuck are you doing?

What are we paying?

I don't understand shit, man.

What the fuck are we doing?

What are we doing?

How are you auto-pending shit?

That's the crazy thing about all those pardons.

You know, there's like, how many pardons did he have?

I think he had 9,000 pardons

and it was all auto-pinned.

So it's like everybody was like

this. If I had to imagine

worst case scenario, I'm not assuming

or accusing anybody doing

this, but I would imagine if you

got a hold of that auto-pen, it'd be like

yo, yo, yo, I got the auto-pen.

Who needs? All the boys is out. I I need money I'm trying to get rich and you're trying to get free and let's get something rolling I mean how many times first of all if you can't be tried because they decide that you're mentally incapable of standing trial That's what they said about him.
They were going to try him on some classified documents case. They said the judge ruled that he was incapable of standing trial while he was running for president for the second term.
While he was running for president, they were saying he's incapable of standing trial. So if we're saying that there's something wrong with him cognitively, but we're still allowing him to give people pardons Like if he can't

If he's not sane enough if he's not there enough

To stand trial how could he be there enough to decide whether or not someone deserves a pardon?

That seems insane. And then how could you use the auto pen?

He's like what about that guy? Yes, pardon him.

What about that guy?

Let him off for you.

He deserves it.

9,000.

There's no way.

If you have all the time in the world, how are you going over 9,000 cases?

Most of those were the marijuana releases.

Well, that's nice.

Federal.

How many of them?

6,500 or so.

Oh, that's nice. But auto pen? 6500 or so Oh that's nice

But auto pinning it is

When you think about what that means

That is crazy

That's crazy

Yeah

It's just

Is that shit for sale?

Pardons are crazy anyway

You just let somebody out of jail

Because you're the king

I'm the king

Fucking

Fuck that

Fuck that trial

Yeah

Fuck that jury

I like that guy

You're free bro

I don't mind it

Thank you. because you're the king.
I'm the king. Fucking fuck that trial.
Yeah. Fuck that jury.
I like that guy. You're free, bro.
I don't mind it. Yeah.
That's crazy power. Let people out of jail.
Mm-hmm. You know? In mass numbers.
Mm-hmm. What was the total? I'm trying to find the exact number.
Okay. Because 9,000.
But 6,500, I agree with. I agree with all those marijuana ones.
Well, yeah. That's not a real thing.
I feel bad. That's the craziest shit that there were people in Colorado that were in jail for selling marijuana, looking out the window of their prison to marijuana dealerships.
Selling marijuana. Legally.
And nice packaging. With barcodes on it.
Cartoon characters smiling when they're high on them. Snoop Dogg on the cover of a bag.
Yeah. See, that's the good thing about progressive governments, right? Progressive governments like Colorado, they realize that people's right to experiment with all kinds of different things, including alcohol, but also, like, you should have the freedom to take things you should have the freedom To explore your own consciousness and colorado agreed with that real early You know, that's the good thing about progressive governments and that's the bad thing about A lot of conservative governments.
They want to stop you from doing that, you know, they want to prosecute people for that fucking grass that dirty do you where's your dope you're fucking dope yeah they don't like it when your mind opens up a little bit but you said it earlier oh man if we could just get everybody on mushrooms everybody might love each other and all these things yeah that is scary think that way though 8 000 a record-setting number includes a collective act of over 6 500 individuals for for marijuana possession convictions. So it's really not like he has more than anybody else.
Yeah, Washington did it. So it just looks like more than everybody else because it's just 6,500.
He actually only released 1,500 then. Yeah, look at Andrew Johnson.
It ended up being closer to 9,000, I think, at the end of the day. Oh, at the end? It's like 2,500.
So even then, 2,500, not pretty normal. Yeah.
Like, how many did Obama did? Almost 2,000. It was a different list I had.
What about Trump? He did 1,500 on the first day because of all the January 6th people. How come Trump didn't free Joe Exotic? Let him go.
Put the Tiger King out there. Tiger King 3.
We need it. He'll need a 230 on the first term.
Oh, only 237. That's not a lot.
Oh, so the new one, when he came back he pardoned 1,500 individuals connected to General. They keep saying Capitol riots.
Yeah. But why?

Andrew Johnson,

8,000.

Pardons.

That's what I said.

Andrew Johnson,

1900.

He sold those bitches for silver coins.

Sitting in his fucking

bathtub with all these

silver coins.

But that's crazy that

pardons were going back

all the way to George Washington. Yeah.
How many did George Washington have? A lot, right? 1,700? Is that what it said? Good old George. Yeah.
It's crazy. I just got into that stuff because I saw Hamilton like two weeks ago for the first time.
Oh, yeah? You ever seen that? No. Is it good? Brother.
You see it on Broadway? Brother. I saw it on, they brought it to Texas, the Bass Concert Hall.
And then in these last three weeks, I have studied everything. I'm addicted to it, bro.
Really? Joe? Derek? It's the second greatest piece of art to ever be art. What's number one? Harry Potter books.
I wish you were here for this argument, Joe. Harry Potter books is number one.
When he was going off at Metis about this. Well, these motherfuckers was trying to bring up the Bible.
It's like, get the fuck out of here, dude. Harry Potter's better than the Bible? Not even close.
Really? It was, Joe, it's already the second greatest selling book of all time and it's only been out since 1997. Think about that.
That is pretty crazy. I'll tell you what, my kids were addicted to it.
When I read it, I read it, this is also, I read it like a month ago. I just found out about both these things.
Really? You just saw Harry Potter? I saw the movie? I knocked it all out. Wow.
I knocked the whole thing out. How is it? It's the greatest thing ever written.
Is it better than the movie? It's not even close. And I love the movies.
Movies are great. But it's so fucking good and so in-depth and so i mean it's the classic hero story you know a hero's tale but man it's so fucking good and rereading it and just how deep the characters are and how incredible it is and it is beautiful but hamilton is number two greatest art and i mean when i say art i mean anything anything ever written, painted, musically sung.
Really? One, two. Wow.
And then the Bible? Maybe The Departed. The Departed might be three.
If you've never seen The Departed, man. When that elevator opens up and Leo gets his head blown off, I think, oh, I feel it still.
The Departed might be three. You just killed all your credibility.
You took Departed over Apocalypse Now. Oh, Apocalypse Now.
That day you take Departed over Apocalypse Now. I love Apocalypse Now.
But Hamilton Joe. That good.
Brother, it's so, if you like history, because I'm not a history guy. I'm not.
Hassan, me and Hassan talk about it because he loves history. And I know what I know, but I'm not looking for it.
Right. I watched this shit, man.
It was so cool. Everything is educational.
The whole thing. And you think it's gay because it's like, oh, it's a musical.
You think it's gay? Everyone's black. Like, why is Thomas Jefferson black? You know what I'm saying? Everyone in the play is black.
And they're all playing these guys, Thomas Jefferson and Washington. But everything is singing.
The whole thing is singing. So the writing is incredible.
And it's literally the story of Alexander Hamilton. And I and i had no idea how important this man was wow he was an orphan and then you know that the it ends of course with the duel between him and burr right which is insane you know burr was vice president when he killed the treasurer really hamilton was treasurer and he killed him in a duel while he was vice president that's crazy because they had 15 years of beef and you get to see why they've been beefing it's just two ideologies of this man grew up orphan mom died dad left him he's from the caribbean alexander hamilton he's just an absolute genius who had to come out of the absolute mud aaron burr is a trust fund kid who is a politician through and through he was raised to be politician who never, you know, his cards are close to his chest and he never shows anybody what he's thinking.
True politician. Hamilton's a wild guy.
Well, I mean, everything from just the way, he didn't like how Hamilton always is talking and Hamilton is a loud guy and he's just rambunctious and didn't follow the rules of politics. He was very, you know, a wild card.
He was also young. And Burr was like, no, you do it this way.
You do it this way. That's how you're supposed to do it.
So that happened for 15 years. And then what made him kill him was Burr was going to be president.
He was going against Jefferson. Jefferson and Hamilton had been beefing.
They hate each other. But Hamilton didn't like Burr so much because he said at least Jefferson stands for something and the last vote to make Jefferson president over Burr was Hamilton and so that and then of course he talked some more shit about him and then Aaron Burr was like we're dueling fuck you with musket guns musket guns those old school bullshit guns because he shot Burr was I mean Hamilton wasn't trying to kill him he shot over his head because that was like a thing you do if you weren't trying to kill somebody but you were like I'm letting you know but like we're doing but I'm not trying to kill you but he didn't know because he shot first Burr just thought he missed so he shot him right in the fucking stomach right in the ribs killed him and it was at the same it was like a few miles away maybe like near right near the same spot where Hamilton's son died three years before like the law that the law.
That law. Knowing when it's too much.
He could have just shot over him. Could have.
The other guy shot over him. But I thought you just missed.
How am I supposed to know? I thought you were trying to kill me. I thought you were trying to kill me.
Exactly. And no one saw it because, you know, so to have a duel, you had to have other people there.
You had to have a doctor. You had to have two people.
You had to have representatives, all this stuff. But everyone turns around.
So that way no one could go to prison for it.

So they tried Burr for it, but there's no eyewitness.

Wow.

And it ruined the rest of Burr's life.

The rest of Burr's life because everyone loved Hamilton.

Because Hamilton was George Washington's right-hand man.

He fucking is one of the main reasons we won the Revolutionary War.

Remember when David Letterman got caught for cheating and was like,

well, I'm going to go out.

I'm not going to get blackmailed.

I'm going to go out and say, hey, I cheated on my wife.

Get the fuck out of here. I'll take the heat.

Hamilton was the first guy to do that. Really?

The Reynolds pamphlet where a woman

did the same thing. He fucks this lady

and her husband comes up to him later

and is like, hey, you owe money.

The husband's like, hey, you fucked my wife.

I know you fucked my wife. I know who you are.

You can keep fucking her. I think she's a whore too.

I said it, but I want money. Really? Yep.
And then, of course, Really? How much money? I don't know. I think it was like $30.
But I don't know what that was at $1,700. If I could go back and talk to Hamilton.
Give him the money, man. Dude's cool.
He wanted continuous money. How much? I don't know the number exactly.
How good is this lady? How fun is she? Apparently she was pretty good. if you can keep this relationship going Beneficial to everybody involved everyone.
You just need a little money. Oh, okay.
You're not even mad Yeah, and you got the money you hamilton What the fuck is he doing spend that money spend them fun coupons But I think he also still you wanted to he didn't like that Uh, the other politicians were using it over like hey, we found out that you were doing this that and't they all monsters they're all monsters i mean they're all slaves they're slaves that's what's the craziest thing the moral high ground of the beginning of this country we were getting away from these evil we got slaves what are you saying everybody's a monster yeah washes the most love had the most it's like everywhere you go's hypocrisy. You know, like did you ever see that thing when Don Lemon was talking to this lady about reparations for slavery? Did you ever see that thing? Oh my God.
Please find this. Don Lemon is talking to this British lady about reparations for slavery and she lays out the beginnings of slavery to Don Lemon and you see Don Lemon's dumbass like, oh, very interesting.
Watch this.

He didn't know.

It's just, he was saying something

that, you know,

there should be reparations for slavery. I think

it's a political talking point at this point, Tom. I think

there's people

that still think that people today

should get money because their ancestors were slaves.

I totally understand that argument.

However, what this lady's saying,

did you find it?

It just has like a five second thing and then it talks

Thank you. should get money because their ancestors were slaves.
I totally understand that argument. However, what this lady's saying, did you find it?

It just has like a five-second thing, and then it talks about the whole.

But there's a video.

I watched it yesterday. I'm just saying I didn't have it.

It's not the thing I'm looking for.

Okay.

I bet on YouTube it's available.

Yeah, Don Lemon for a smart guy seems like an idiot sometimes.

Yeah, it's like a guy who looks smart.

There's other people reporting on it. let's hear it though and then you have those who are asking uh for reparations for colonialism and they're wondering you know 100 billion dollars 24 billion dollars here and there 500 million there some people want to be paid back and uh and members of the public are wondering why are we suffering when you are you know you have all of this vast wealth those are legitimate concerns well i think you're right about reparations in terms of if people want it though what they need to do is you always need to go back to the beginning of a supply chain where was the beginning of the supply chain that was in africa and when that crossed the entire world when slavery was taking place which was the first nation in the world that abolished slavery the first nation in the world to abolish it it was started by William Wilberforce was the British in in Great Britain they abolished slavery 2 000 naval men died on the high seas trying to stop slavery why because the African kings were rounding up their own people they had them on cages waiting in the beaches no one was running into africa to get them and i think you're totally right if reparations need to be paid we need to go right back to the beginning of that supply chain and say who was rounding up their own people and having them handcuffing cages absolutely that's where they should start and maybe i don't know the, the descendants of those families where they died in the high seas trying to stop the slavery, that those families should receive something too, I think, at the same time.
Look at that dumbass. It's an interesting discussion.
What's an interesting discussion? He knew he was in deep water. She knew what the fuck she was talking about.
And he knew he had no history in his mind. He's like scouring his mind for an argument.
Like, yeah, I'm going to check out on this one right here. He wanted something easy.
He wasn't ready for that. The producer's in his ear.
Wrap it up, Don. Wrap it up.
Wrap it up. We're going to commercial.
We're going to Pfizer. Oh, yeah.
When the woman brought up the ships and everything, you're like, ooh, she knows what the fuck. We got an Olympic commercial on deck.
Wrap it up. Wrap it up.
Oh, Olympic. Oh, oh.
Yeah, that's the dirty thing about it. It's like people were monsters.
Yeah, dude. Irish were slaves forever.
People were indentured servants. They're brought over here.
People have been monsters forever. And instead of doing that now, now they're picking fruit, picking lettuce with no health care.
For $2. Yeah, and we're shipping jobs over to there.
So they work in these factories. They're working 16 hours a day for $1 an hour or $1 a day sometimes.
Joe, when I was in Abu Dhabi, one of the drivers who was taking us somewhere, he said he was happy. He was happy because his family lives back in Lebanon or wherever they lived.
But he was happy because he just got a raise to like two dollars an hour from the dollar but i mean joe you you'd have thought he was a millionaire now he was like oh my god like it's like a 50 cent raise but he was like the things i'll be able to do for my family back in lebanon and all this stuff and it was like holy shit holy shit yeah and then you're there and everything there is beautiful and pristine and everything seems like the richest things in the world. And they were really nice to us and it was awesome because we were getting to do the rich things.
Yeah. But when you were talking to that guy, I vividly remember that conversation because of how truly happy he was.
He wasn't. In his head, he was like, this is great.
Right. $2 an hour.
His expectations were very low. Yeah.
That's the reality when people like Bernie Sanders talk about oligarchs. If you're going to have haves, like extreme haves, just by the nature of the world, you're going to have have-nots.
And the disparity between haves and have-nots is off the charts. And it's probably only going to get bigger.
That's what's really kind of scary. with AI and the ability to generate wealth and what you're going to be able to figure out and do and the different ways that people are going to be able to manipulate markets and dominate certain industries with AI, I think the have and have nots.
And then you're going to have also automation, which takes over everything. So all these jobs.
Gone. Bro, I was just driving.
Have you ever, like, we're not going to be driving much longer, dude. I don't think my kid, I don't think my kid's going to know driving.
I think they'll know, like, no, you just, everyone has an automated car. Yeah, check this out.
I'm going to share this with you, Jamie. I did this yesterday in my car.
My car just drives itself, dog. Just drives itself.
If you have a Tesla, if I put in my address, I go doot doot. I press these buttons and it just takes off.
It stops at red lights. It changes lanes.
It slows down when the traffic slows down, speeds up when the traffic speeds up. You could completely check out if you wanted to.
Totally check out. You could totally check.

I don't do it. I keep my hand near it.

I'm still freaked out. Because you've been driving

your whole life. Yeah, it's also, it just feels weird

with it, but it does it.

You got the video thing?

And it does it well, too.

I'm just trying to make sure I'm not showing it.

I've got other stuff on the screen, and it doesn't cover that up.

Oh, does it show things on the screen?

On my screen. Oh, how dare you.

Did it fuck up? No, no, no. What does it show? Like my address? No, it shows stuff that I don't want shown on the screen.
Oh, I see. Okay, here it is.
Check this out. This is me in the car yesterday.
I don't like to do it all the time, but every now and again, it's pretty wild. It changes lanes.
It hits see look at sees all those cars that screen it that's it's a representative of all the car it knows where all the cars are look it's changing lanes it hits the blinker and changes lanes to get around these trucks it's uh the future wild it's over how wild is that it shows you on the screen on the front where your dashboard is.

It shows you all the cars around you. All of them.
It keeps track of them. It knows how fast they're going.

See that guy past me on the left. It shows that.
It's wild. He's flying by you.
So it's like, no, it knew the speed and rate that he was going. And it knew that there was an open lane.

So it hit the blinkers and it changed lanes. And it knows there's people behind me.
It knows there's people to the right of me. It stops at red lights, dude, and then speeds up again.
Stops at stop signs. It sees the cars to the left and cars to the right, knows when to go.
And you can just kind of check out. You just, like, hold your hand like this.
Think about your life. Have the robot drive you around.
That is just going to be everywhere. Everyone's going to be driving in these robot taxis.
You're not going to own a car. This is what the World Economic Forum wants.
You will own nothing and you'll be happy. You'll be like that man who has $2 an hour and so happy.
All your food will be free. You don't need a job.
That's where the have and have nots get sketchy because when automation takes over everything, don't worry, we'll give you universal basic income. And so they give universal basic income to everybody, so everybody's reliant 100% on the government now.
And then there's people that own all the electric taxi companies and own all the computer factories and own all the AI companies. The semi-trucks that'll be automated.
Those are the oligarchs. Those are the haves.
And the haves never want to give that up. They always want more and more and more.
They always want to keep winning that game. They want to be the first trillionaire.
They want to keep stacking. Game of Thrones, dude.
Because then it goes to your family and your family. And then all of a sudden you're like, oh, maybe our family could be president one day.
Our family now. I drink your milkshake.
That's it, man. What a callback.
That's exactly what it is. That's it, man.
It's a natural human dominator instinct. It's a tribal dominator instinct.

And it's just applied to fiat currency and Bitcoin and financial power and influence.

And they want to control social media.

And we're going to give everybody a vaccine.

Nuts.

You know those Waymos?

This is how I know it's going to be having a house.

You know those Waymos cars?

Those self-driving cars?

If you order one, it's still the same price as like an Uber, pretty much. So it's like, where is this money going? Right.
I thought the money was going to the driver. Right.
Like I thought, okay, I'm giving half the money to the company, probably half the money or whatever, however they split it. But so now you're telling me there's no driver, but the price is the same.
So you're not going to lower the price. Right.
Where is this extra money going? In their pockets. John, that's scary.
More profitable. Because they're going to do that with semi-trucks? Yeah.
They're going to do it with everything. And then they're going to try to pass legislation to stop driving.
You shouldn't be able to drive because their money is in driving you around. Why should you be able to drive? You're dangerous.
You cause accidents. Statistically, humans cause all these accidents.
You drink? Humans do this? Bro, that's how they can get you. That's why they're saying, you know, we don't need beef.

Cows are destroying the environment.

Cows are responsible for climate change.

And what a convenient thing I have here.

My plant-based meals.

My plant-based burgers.

You need unstoppable meat.

Whatever the fuck they have.

But it'll be just like Animal Farm, because they'll still be eating cows.

They'll be eating.

The top people are going to eat cheese and the nice, fun things.

Bro, they're going to be eating Dodo bird burgers. They're eating Siberian tiger loin.
They're having a good time carving up some rhino steaks. They're a bunch of monsters.
And, you know, the whole market for rhino horns? Yeah. You know what that market it is for? What? It's rich people that want to get off on the fact that they're drinking tea from an endangered species.
That's what's the rhino horns. That's what they're valuable for.
That's why people are killing people. They're killing people so that they can kill the rhinos.
They can cut their horns off so they could sell them to Asia Where very wealthy people get off on the fact that they're drinking rhino horn tea And they think it makes your dick hard. Yeah, they do think it makes your dick hard, which is hilarious Yeah, you know about Viagra bitch What are you talking about so stupid, but it's like there's way better ways you don't have to kill a rhino But that's not the point the point is they want to kill the rhino so that they they get this forbidden thing

We're responsible for extinction here as we sip this tea

That's how dark people get that's like the type of people that want exclusive things

Oh, yeah, that's that that's it. I want to watch people darkness man.
That's darkness. That's real human beings will do that They will drink rhino horn tea.
That's the only market for rhino horns

Thank you. Oh, yeah.
That's it. I want to watch people.
Darkness, man. That's darkness.
That's real human beings will do that. They will drink rhino horn tea.
That's the only market for rhino horns. They're not valuable.
It's not like tusks. Like elephant tusks are made out of ivory, and ivory is very valuable.
And they use it for all kinds of different things. They always used to use it for ornaments.
They used to make pool balls out of ivory. And then they stopped allowing people to sell ivory.
And then you could only buy like pre-ban ivory in America. But that makes sense because you're killing an animal for this one thing that's a commodity and it's fucked up.
But the rhino horn don't even make sense. Like you're killing an animal just so you could drink the tea? That's crazy.
And they're almost extinct.

Also to kill such a like a creature. Like wow this

is a fucking animal.

A crazy looking creature man. Like it doesn't look like

it belongs in this time. It looks like it's one of the

dinosaur days. I read this thing yesterday

about you ever heard the bear that's called the boss?

Oh yeah that one bear that's

he's got like thousands of kids.

Yeah. He got hit by a train.
Twice. That means he got hit by a train.
It was like running back. Running back, you bitch-ass train.
Fuck this train. I'm going to knock this motherfucker off the tracks this time.
He got hit by a train twice, has all the cubs, and apparently eats other bears sometimes just to let them remind people because he's so old that the young bears try him. So I read he eats them sometimes just to be like, I got to let everybody know.
Well, bears eat bears. That's real common.
Yeah, they eat cubs. It's real dark.
A friend of mine saw it. He saw my friend Jonathan up in Alberta.
He saw a bear and the sow and the boar were fighting. So males, the boar, females, the sow.
They were fighting because the bear, the male was trying to kill the cubs. And so the female is trying to fight him off.
And eventually she can't fight him off. And he gets a hold of one of the cubs and kills it.
And then she scares him off of the cub that he killed. And then she eats the cub.
She eats her own cub. Once it's dead, she's like, I'll just eat it.
Why do you think it's food? It's just food. Once it's dead, it's just food.
Bro. That's fucking it.
You think $2 an hour is hard life? Bears are shitting on ghettos. Like, you think it's hard? You think it's hard? Bitch, I go outside every day thinking I'm going to get eaten.
Dealing with the boss bear. Yeah.
Well, that's what happens also when you have and that's how nature balances out ecosystems right because if there's no natural predators for bears they they have to they have to eat themselves just as nothing can eat a grizzly bear yeah they have to eat each other that's the only way they keep the population keep it to keep it so all there's still some salmon and some other things left everybody else so when when cubs are born there that happen. One, well, there's three things.
One, the male thinks of them as food, so he wants to kill them for food. Like they hunt them.
They go into the dens. When the males come out of hibernation early, they go into dens to look for cubs to eat them.
They know they do that for food. Two, they try to bring the female into estrus again.
So if they can kill the cubs, then the female will want to breed so she can have more cubs.

And so it'll

get the female so that she'll

want to breed again. And then three

is competition. They look at those cubs

as potential future competition.

So it's all these

horrible ways. It's this beautiful

nature. Nature's amazing.

Nature is a fucking blood

bath.

It's a blood bath. Even the grass is screaming.
They found out that grass screams now. Plants make noise when you're eating them.
They just can't move. That's too much.
The fact that we are the apex because you were saying something yesterday we were talking. We were saying how it's crazy to think that aliens wouldn't think we're interesting.
Yeah, that's that dumb argument that I had with Neil deGrasse Tyson. Like, what are you saying? Because when you think about like, man, we are the top dog on this planet.
That's interesting in itself. Different than everything else here.
If you're going to study anything anywhere in the fucking universe, of course you would study human beings. If you're going to study anything, you would go, what is this wild, crazy, territorial primate with nuclear weapons and cell phone addictions? What is this motherfucker up to? And they're soft.
We can easily be killed. Easily.
And we're still top dog. And they might have made us.
They might have engineered us, son. That's a real, on-the-table, less than 0% or more than 0% possibility.
We might have been genetically engineered. It's a real possibility.
It's a real possibility when you look at other primates and us, like, what happened here? What happened here? How are our cousins still roaming around barefoot, covered in hair? Yeah swinging from trees eating bananas and we are somehow or another flying rockets with an all chick crew and then landed with parachutes like what why are we so different and why we keep seeing ufos like what the fuck is going on here and we control we control the tigers the things that could kill us and we're like no we're in charge yeah we're in charge those bitch ass water balloons we're basically blood balloons sticks holding it all together compared to things that are fucking built like trucks yeah every like a rhino like how the fuck is a rhino in danger for its stupid horn when our bitch asses are once killing the rhino dude that doesn't dude. That doesn't make any sense.
We're not even eating them. Just killing them and sawing off their fucking horns.
That would be, yeah. If you're an alien, you're like, they do what? Do you see what they're doing now to rhinos to prevent this? They dart them and saw their horns off first so that no one wants to kill them.
How fucked up is that? How fucked up? Have you seen that? No, but the rhino must need the horn for protection. It must need it in some way.
If they want to fight. Yeah, if they want to fight other rhinos and fight off lions and shit like that.
Yeah, they need that horn. I mean, there's a reason why they have it.
Yeah. Yeah, they evolved to have this giant fucking weapon in the middle of their face.
So to cut it off. I mean, fucking past.
What a fucked up way to go. Please.
You ever see him launch lines into the air? Yeah, fucking launch those motherfuckers in the air. Like, fuck you, bro.
Try getting through this. But yeah, to cut that off, what does that do to the rhino? Can it live out in the...
Yeah, it lives fine. Okay.
It lives fine, but it just doesn't have a weapon anymore. But it also is not attractive to the main monster, which is humans.
And humans that just wanted to drink a tea to get your dick hard. Just get rocked up.
Whoa. Bricked.
It don't even work, I don't think. Does it work? I don't know.
Does Rhino Horn, it might be one of them ancient Chinese secrets. It's legit.
Does Rhino Horn get your dick hard? No evidence. How dare you? I have a friend.
You know that Ron Taylor comedian? He's like, Afro, he's in the green. He's at Mothership.
He told me he took it one time. He's like, man, I couldn't see anything, but my dick was fucking touching the ceiling.
He took rhino horn? He took, but like the gas station. I don't know if that's really- Oh, that's not the same thing.
Is that not the same thing? That's those red band pills. No.
But he said he couldn't see, but man, his dick was hard. He said he could feel it.
Oh, yeah. No, no, no, no, no.
That's like rhino 2000, gas station boner pills Yeah, those are legit sometimes But I mean you want to talk about taking a chance on your life like who knows what's in there Who knows what's in there? That was another thing I was reading about like Chinese illegal vapes like Like bootleg vapes that have entered into this country Yeah, like pretending to be like legitimate companies that selling vapes, and they're just using fucking gutter oil, and who knows what the fuck's inside of those things. People are getting sick from them.
Yeah. No one gives a fuck about you, man.
Not in most of the world. Most of the world is trying to get them dollars.
Get them dollars. Fuck the world.
Oh, fuck that, man. All right, Derek, tell everybody about your special.
We talked this whole time. We didn't tell anybody about your special.
We didn't, but my brother, first thing I ever put out, man, I'm really excited. First thing I ever put out, dog.
I'm excited for people to see. And the Don't Tell, I really appreciate them, and I feel like they're the new premium blend or Comedy Central Presents back in the day, that era.

Because I feel like Kill Tony is a mix between Late Night and America's Got Talent.

It's like a different thing.

Whereas this is for guys who are more my age who are like, all right, big companies really

don't want them.

And you can put it on YouTube yourself, but do you have the money to make something that

looks nice?

We'll make it for you and get you your first, so you can have your first thing out.

And where can people watch it? YouTube. Just YouTube.
Don't tell comedy uh there it is beautiful oh my god i'm very happy for you brother very happy i've been watching you grow since you came to austin it's been beautiful and a bit amazing and knowing you from the comedy store you one of the first guys to take the chance coming out here we all just said fuck it yeah wound up Yeah, dog. Wound up together, and we were right.

We were right. We were fucking so right, dog.

We were so right.

We're having so much fun.

I mean, even Joey's going to be here tonight.

It's old school days.

Yeah, Joey's here tonight.

Yeah, Joey's here tonight.

Very, very excited.

And, you know, Joey's performing here.

Moon Tower's in town.

Todd Glass was there last night.

That was great.

It's been Joe DeRosa moved here now, too.

He's the fucking best.

I love him, man.

We are having so much fun, man. We're having so much fun.
It's the best, dude. I appreciate now, too.
He's the fucking best. I love him, man.
We are having so much fun, man.

We're having so much fun.

It's the best, dude.

I appreciate you, brother.

I appreciate you, Joe.

Thank you so much for this, man.

Thank you.

My pleasure.

Everybody, go check it out.

It's on YouTube right now.

Derek Poston on Instagram.

Yes, sir.

Everywhere else.

Everywhere else.

Yes, sir.

Bye, everyone. We'll see you next time.