It’s Time to Stop Surviving and Start Taking Control
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Rachel Cruze & Ken Coleman answer your questions and discuss:
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"How do I plan surprises for my wife?"
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Transcript
Speaker 1
Hey guys, Dave Ramsey here. Me and Dr.
John Deloney are coming to a city near you on the Money and Relationships Tour. It's happening soon, so don't wait.
Speaker 1 Get your tickets at ramseysolutions.com slash tour.
Speaker 2
This is the Ramsey Show, where America hangs out to have a conversation about your money, your profession, and your relationships. The phone number is 888-825-5225.
Triple 8-825-5225.
Speaker 2
My co-host, my dear friend Rachel Cruz, is alongside. She'll lead out on how to save, how to spend that money, and I'm going to help you on how to make more money.
It's a great combo.
Speaker 2
We'd love to hear from you. Antonio starts us off in Jacksonville.
Antonio, how can we help
Speaker 3 Hey,
Speaker 3 good, good afternoon.
Speaker 2
Thank you for taking my call. You bet.
What's going on?
Speaker 3 Yes, I'm just calling.
Speaker 3
My name's Antonio Owens. I'm from Jacksonville, Florida.
I'm 25 years old, and
Speaker 3 I have a lot of debt. And I'm basically trying to figure out what's the best way to tackle that and overcome it.
Speaker 3 You know, from credit cards, cars, and I'm in a situation where I was thinking about purchasing a house,
Speaker 3 but I don't think that is the best financial decision. So I just want to see if you guys can help me out with that.
Speaker 2 We agree.
Speaker 2
Let's get you out of debt first. So walk Rachel through your debt.
Go smallest to largest for us.
Speaker 3
Okay. Yes.
So going small to largest. So I have six credit cards totaling to about $65,000
Speaker 3 in total credit card debt.
Speaker 3 With the smallest minimum monthly payment, roughly about $51 a month. Then the next credit card is about $123 a month.
Speaker 3 The next three are all about $10,000 apiece, and they're about $10,000.
Speaker 2 But you owe on them?
Speaker 2 The last three?
Speaker 3 The last three. So I owe $5,000 on the first one.
Speaker 2 I owe
Speaker 3 $7,000 on the second one.
Speaker 3 The next three after that, I owe $10,000 apiece for a total of $30,000.
Speaker 3 And then the last one, I actually owe $25,000 on.
Speaker 4 Okay, what were these for, Antonio?
Speaker 2 What were you racking up the step for?
Speaker 3 So basically, so my job profession, I'm actually a finance manager, ironically, at an RV dealership.
Speaker 3 So, you know, when COVID happened, you know, I was making crazy good money. So, you know, even sometimes upwards of $30,000 a month.
Speaker 3 I had just got into the, you know, credit, building credit, and I just seen it as okay, if I don't mind spending $10,000 because I I can just pay that back.
Speaker 3 And I did that for a couple of months.
Speaker 3 And then, you know, the times have changed, paid, changed a little bit, pays still good, but it just got to the point where the interest was just so high to the point where anything over the minimum payment was just ridiculous.
Speaker 3 I mean, the minimum payment right now is anywhere from,
Speaker 4 but you're spending money on lifestyle is what these credit cards are.
Speaker 3 Initially, and they have been maxed out for about three years. I've just paid the bare minimum.
Speaker 3 And I'll be quite frank, um, you know, I'll pay the bare minimum, and that little bit I pay, I might spend it again, not because I need it, but it's just like I just don't see the light at the end of the tunnel to get these things back off, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 4 Okay, so that's the credit cards. Uh, how much do you owe in your car?
Speaker 3 Um, I have three
Speaker 3 cars. Um, I owe um thirty-five thousand dollars on my truck, I owe thirty-one thousand dollars on my um EV, my Mustang Mach E, and I owe $16,000 on my girlfriend's SUV.
Speaker 2
Okay, hold on. Wow, Antonio.
You financed a car for your girlfriend?
Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah, I purchased one for her yesterday. Yeah, I did.
Speaker 2
Wow. I feel like you watched The Wolf of Wall Street and just decided to try to do your own version here.
This is crazy.
Speaker 3 That's sort of, believe it or not, kind of what
Speaker 3 my life was and kind of what I aimed to be.
Speaker 2
That's why I chose it. That's why I chose it.
Okay, what else?
Speaker 4 what else, Antonio? What other debt do you have?
Speaker 3 No, I also have a boat,
Speaker 3
but I've paid that pretty low. So I only owe about $8,000 on the boat.
And I do have an RV, a fifth world, that I owe about $26,000 on.
Speaker 2 Of course, that makes total sense because you got such a good deal on it.
Speaker 2 How much money are you making right now?
Speaker 2 What's your bring-home every month?
Speaker 3 So I gross anywhere from $15,000 to $17,000 a month.
Speaker 3 My bring-home is anywhere from $9,000 to
Speaker 3 $10,000, give or take.
Speaker 2 I mean, you are really with all this.
Speaker 4 Yeah, how are you making it, Antonio?
Speaker 3 I mean, it's unfortunate.
Speaker 3
You know, it's just one of those things that I thought, okay, I'm making money, making money. I can spend more money.
I mean, and then also, you know,
Speaker 3 I do have four children, and I do pay rent, which is roughly about $2,350.
Speaker 2
Then you got utilities, water, camera. You didn't answer her question.
We're trying to help you. And this is the part where we're now going to try to help you dig out.
And you can do this.
Speaker 2 But how are you making it month to month? Do you have any left over at all?
Speaker 3 Oh, no.
Speaker 4 And you're going into credit card debt still.
Speaker 3 So honestly, I have anywhere from $500 to $1,000 left over at the end of every month.
Speaker 2 And that's if I'm lucky yeah all right so can we just do real quick I want to know if we have any equity in any of these vehicles yeah what what the thirty five thousand dollar truck do you have any equity
Speaker 3 no I'm actually that's the main one that I'm flipped upside down on okay if you sold it today what would you sell it for what could you sell for
Speaker 2 maybe twenty one or twenty two thousand okay are you are you just guessing or did you kelly blue book this no I've Kelly blue booked it um you know okay what about the uh what about the mustang
Speaker 3 The Mustang,
Speaker 3 I probably am upside down about $1,000 or two on it. I could probably sell it for $29,000.
Speaker 4 Okay, and then girlfriend's car, are you the only one on the loan? Or do you guys, did you co-sign for her? Or what was the situation there?
Speaker 3 No, I'm the only one on every loan I mentioned.
Speaker 4 Okay, and
Speaker 4 what could you sell her car for?
Speaker 3 That one I
Speaker 3 probably could sell that. I could probably make $3,000 on that one.
Speaker 2
I could possibly sell that one for about $1,800 or $19,000. All right, perfect.
Okay.
Speaker 4
So the cars are the easy. Oh, yeah.
The boat.
Speaker 2 What do you owe on the boat? He owes eight.
Speaker 2 What could you sell for? Sorry, what's it worth? I'm so confused right now.
Speaker 3 So the boat is worth about $15,000.
Speaker 2 Sell that today.
Speaker 2 Perfect. Sell the boat today.
Speaker 3 Sell the boat today. Yes.
Speaker 2 Yeah.
Speaker 4 So, because then you'll have $7,000.
Speaker 2 Hey, Anthony, here's going to be your issue, Anthony.
Speaker 4 Your ego is about to
Speaker 4
really be hit hard. Like, this is all, this is, this is, this is ego.
Three cars, uh, boat, RV, credit card debt, living like you're just the
Speaker 4 fill in the blank, and you're not. So, there's a reality here, Anthony, that the humility pill that you're going to have to swallow to, to truly change this around is going to be really big.
Speaker 4 And that's the part about personal finance that's so difficult is like the math stuff.
Speaker 4 We can walk through that, but there is a character part of you, Anthony, that's going to deeply, deeply have to change. Like you caring about what people think has been very high in your life.
Speaker 4 And this is about to do the complete opposite. Like you are going to be,
Speaker 4 I mean, you're not going to be the man anymore. I mean, like, do you know what I'm saying? But
Speaker 4
there's an ego level. And I'm saying that kindly because we all have a level of an ego.
But man, it's going to be, it's going to be tough.
Speaker 2 So here's the deal. Is the RV, can you sell more, make more on that than the 26 you owe?
Speaker 3 The RV,
Speaker 3 I can break even. I'm not sure if you're not.
Speaker 2 Hey, listen, listen, listen.
Speaker 2 You gotta sell the RV.
Speaker 2 You sell the boat.
Speaker 2 You sell the girlfriend's car, too.
Speaker 2
Okay. Because I don't care how lovely she is.
She gets her own car.
Speaker 2 It's not your payment.
Speaker 4 Yeah, and Antonio, take your payment for the RV, the boat, her car, and the Mustang, all those payments, that's thousands of dollars.
Speaker 4 Now that you can sell the truck, start paying off these credit cards, smallest to largest. But man, it's going to be a,
Speaker 4
it's about to be a 180 in your life, Antonio. But it has to be in order for something to change.
And I feel the stress on you. So, man, you, you got to make some big changes.
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Speaker 2
Tampa, Florida is where we're going to go next. Joshua is there.
Joshua, how can we help?
Speaker 3 Hey, good afternoon. Thanks for taking a call.
Speaker 2 Sure. What's up?
Speaker 3 Well, I'm planning on proposing to my girlfriend in a couple months.
Speaker 2 Nice.
Speaker 3 And we're both debt-free. Okay.
Speaker 3 And I'm starting to think about our future, right, in terms of finances. We both agree we need to be on one checking account, and we're going to do everything together.
Speaker 3 I'm going to try to do everything the right way.
Speaker 3 And right now, the type of boyfriend that I am, I like to do little surprises here and there, maybe surprise her, you know, one day with
Speaker 3 flowers or decorate the house and make her feel special. However, how can I still
Speaker 3 keep those surprises if we're both on the same checking account?
Speaker 2 Got you.
Speaker 3 I have or not question, why are you spending $1,000?
Speaker 2
I got you. I got you, man.
You, first of all, thank you, Joshua, for representing that. Romance is not dead.
You're a good man.
Speaker 2
It's still there. This is a good man, Rachel, that we're talking to.
So here's how I do it.
Speaker 2 And I'm sure Rachel's got an opinion because I actually was sitting exactly where I am right now when your hubs, Winston, pulled off an amazing surprise for you in the form of a phone call.
Speaker 2 You remember that? It went viral.
Speaker 2 Surprises are great. They're always great fun.
Speaker 2
And I'm sure that he has surprised you before. So here's how we do it.
So when I know that I'm planning to do that and it's a large expenditure, So I've planned for it, right?
Speaker 2 And then I will tell her, hey, listen, I'm working on a little something down the the line. And I'll let you know when I need you to just, you know, look the other way.
Speaker 2 And I give her about a 24 to 48 hour notice so that she's not going to go in the account to do any kind of maintenance or whatever. And it's pretty simple.
Speaker 2
And so, you know, then she does the old, oh, you know, you shouldn't do that, you know, that kind of deal. Of course, she loves it.
And so when it's a large expenditure, that's how I handle it.
Speaker 2
If it's smaller, same kind of deal. I might just say, hey, I'm pulling it from here or whatever.
And, you know, you'll, you know, but you can do that. And it's just communication.
Would you add?
Speaker 2 What would you add to that? Yeah, no, that's good.
Speaker 4
I think we do that now more so. It's just the like, hey, just don't, don't look for a few days.
Yeah. And if you know a big anniversary is coming or a birthday,
Speaker 4 it's assumed that, yes, a gift is going to be bought. So back in the day, we would get Visa gift cards from like Target or something.
Speaker 2 Oh.
Speaker 4 So you're like, oh, yeah, I'm buying, you know, we're spending, you know, whatever, 100, 200, whatever the price is.
Speaker 4 And you don't know where it's being spent, but you know, yes, a certain amount of money is being spent.
Speaker 4 And then, which I know not everyone has this, Joshua, but twice, two big purchases, I did concert tickets one time and then he bought me a ring.
Speaker 4 But we had,
Speaker 4 I had my mom buy the concert tickets, and I was like, I'll just pay you back so he doesn't see.
Speaker 2 Ah, see, I've never done that. That's a great question.
Speaker 4 And then, yes, the ring, which, which
Speaker 4 the friend was very generous of buying.
Speaker 2 How about that?
Speaker 4 And then Winston just Venmotum after.
Speaker 2 So like, you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 Like, there's just kind of ways I can get around it. And here's one around it.
Speaker 2 Josh, I'll give you one more.
Speaker 2 The other thing is, is you pull the surprise off in a way that you tell her,
Speaker 2
hey, surprise, we're about ready to go do this. And so she's surprised that you're doing it.
In other words, I'm not going to say the brand, but I did that once with Stacey.
Speaker 2 We went shopping on purpose. She didn't know.
Speaker 2 And we walked by one of her favorite stores.
Speaker 2 very expensive bags.
Speaker 2 And I said, hey, let's go in here for a second.
Speaker 2
And she's like, Oh, no, that's, I said, Let's just do it. Yeah.
So we go in, and I had already planned. And then I said, By the way, pick out, pick out something.
Yes. And that's part of it.
Speaker 2
So she's part of it. There's no moving funds.
So I think we gave you several options there. That
Speaker 2 was a new one. Yeah.
Speaker 2 The one where you have the friend buy it.
Speaker 4 You got to have a good friend, though. But you won't.
Speaker 2 But then you know,
Speaker 2
yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I swear.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 Yeah, but then would it still be considered?
Speaker 3 I mean, this is, I'm I'm still relatively new to having one checking account, but would it still be considered a gift from me if we're still both depositing like our direct deposits into the same account?
Speaker 2
Sure. Of course it is.
That's what I'm trying to understand.
Speaker 2 Yeah. If it's our money,
Speaker 2 it doesn't mean that you have to like divide it up into, well, this is how much I make, so I can only buy you a gift out of what I'm doing. Yeah, no, it's a whole idea.
Speaker 2 By the way, no wife is going to be upset about that. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 So you're going to be great.
Speaker 4 Yeah. So it is a little bit of an emotional disconnect that
Speaker 4 once the money hits the account,
Speaker 4
then it doesn't matter whose check it was or who brought it in. It's like, here's how much money we have as a household to spend.
And I know, like, once I, we were so young when we got married.
Speaker 4 So that was kind of an easy, if they, I don't know, we both like, it was a, it was a gradual, easy
Speaker 4 mindset. And I think it's harder when you get married later and you're so used to functioning like with your paycheck.
Speaker 4 like I understand that's more of a hard that was that's a harder kind of emotional break of like oh yeah okay it doesn't really matter but but it's this like deep oneness of just saying yeah regardless of who brings in the money like this is our household account and out of this
Speaker 4 is how we spend our money and that's gifts that's bills that's everything but we just see it as one and what that does joshua too is that that emotional perspective trickles down to other areas of your marriage and that's one reason we're so big on combining accounts is not just from the tactical side, even though it's, it makes running a household so easy when you're functioning out of one account.
Speaker 4 I mean, people that split bills and he pays the electric, she pays, I mean, like all of that. I'm like, oh my gosh, yeah, it takes all of that workout.
Speaker 4 But then it does something when you are like, okay, we truly are. Like, what's the saying? Money, put your money where your mouth is, or was that it?
Speaker 2 Like, it's not that. I guess that's what you're saying.
Speaker 2 I'm trying to dance right now.
Speaker 4 Whatever that's saying is, but it's just like, yeah, like, if we say we are one together, like, like let's actually live out like we are and even with our money.
Speaker 2 Absolutely.
Speaker 2 And here's the thing.
Speaker 2 If you're a young couple right now and you're listening to this, it's a lot easier to do this when you don't have, I mean, excuse me, it's, it's, you don't have to be so surprised and all this, but it's easier to kind of say when you're first starting out, you don't have a bunch of money to kind of go, this is what we're going to do for each other for gifts this year.
Speaker 2 We're going to spend X amount. And I'm making this up, but we're only going to spend $150 for birthdays or whatever.
Speaker 2 You predetermine that, and therefore the surprise is within what am I doing with the $150. So maybe that'll help you, Joshua, as you start out.
Speaker 2 You start getting more income and a lot more discretionary income. Then I think you take the advice that we just gave you.
Speaker 2
But, you know, the little surprises would be if you have a category for fun money or whatever. I think back in the old day, it was called a blow envelope.
You blow the money.
Speaker 2 Well, that's where, you know, instead of spending it on you, playing golf or whatever it is you do, you surprise her with a little something one month and you get the win there.
Speaker 2 So that's how you do do it. And I think his biggest question, I think was an interesting question, is
Speaker 2 what is the dynamic and the psychology between taking two accounts, in other words, incomes, and putting them together? I thought that was an interesting question.
Speaker 2 I think a lot of people, I'm glad he brought it up because a lot of people think through that. Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 4 Because it is different, especially if you're used to earning your money and functioning out of that paycheck.
Speaker 4 It is like kind of this level of like being exposed of like, okay, here we all are together, of like working on this together. So, um, but yeah, it's well worth it, Joshua.
Speaker 2 Follow-up question for you, because you wrote a book called Know Yourself, Know Your Money. It was a bestseller.
Speaker 2 For couples, if you had young couples sitting with you and you were doing a quick little, all right, here's one takeaway on entering into marriage and bringing those money styles
Speaker 2 into the dynamic you've just laid out. What is a way to make sure that that transition of coming together maybe is a little smoother than if you just try to figure it out? What would you say to that?
Speaker 4 You know, and I think this is probably in a lot of marriage the first year or two is
Speaker 4 i wish i had gone back and told myself and like told like i wish we had this mindset more that you don't have to change each other into each other like i think there's this mindset especially with money that if you're a natural saver that like your spouse needs to love saving as much as you or if you love doing the budget and you check it all the time like that they they should be doing that too or vice versa like um he should relax he should have more fun i don't know like there's a level of don't push each other to change who you are like you were attracted to your spouse for a reason right and it's like, usually opposites attract.
Speaker 4 So there's something about them that you love. That's why you got married.
Speaker 4 And so it's not that the personality has to be consistent, but the value system on which you live your life and your marriage and your family and where you're wanting to go long term, that needs to be consistent.
Speaker 4 But the way you go about that, and I think it takes a level of humility to even say, maybe I could learn something from my spouse, you know, where I have a deficit, they may be better at and vice versa.
Speaker 4 So there's, there's like, don't, don't create an enemy between each other embrace the differences they're there for a reason and celebrate those and then also have the humility to think maybe maybe i need a little bit of that that he has or that i could use more of that that she has you know can i tell you something yeah what do you think that was a relationship goal that's oprah level stuff you just dropped i could see oprah on the couch across from me that's a lot of therapy that's a lot of
Speaker 2 i don't care how you got it you just gave it and that was good folks rewind that
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If you're watching on YouTube or listening to me a podcast, the link is in the show notes. To Salt Lake City, we go.
Ryan is there. Ryan, how can we help today?
Speaker 3 Hi.
Speaker 3 I am just struggling to get on top of my debt. It feels like every time I get,
Speaker 3 you know, or I see a light at the end of the tunnel, I'm just, you know, there's something else that piles on on top of it.
Speaker 3 And I would just like some advice on how I can, you know, continue to see the light at the end of the tunnel and just continue to work to try and get on top of my debt.
Speaker 4 Okay. So how much debt do you have, Ryan?
Speaker 3 So I've got about twenty thousand dollars in debt.
Speaker 4 Okay, what's that in?
Speaker 3 So I would say about fifteen to sixteen thousand of that is in credit cards. Okay.
Speaker 3 And then the other, you know, five to six would probably be just stuck in medical right now.
Speaker 2 Medical, okay.
Speaker 4 And how much are you making a year?
Speaker 3
I'm making about $55,000 for my base salary. Okay.
And then I get paid commission.
Speaker 3 That would take me to about $65,000 to $70,000.
Speaker 4 Okay. So after taxes, how much do you bring in a month?
Speaker 3 I'm bringing in about $4,300 a month right now.
Speaker 4 $4,300. Okay.
Speaker 2 How much margin do you have? Out of that $4,300 take-home, how much margin do you have at the end of a month if you haven't had a disaster or something like that?
Speaker 2 You've stuck to the budget, paid everything. What's that look like?
Speaker 3 I really throw everything that I can at my debt. So between my rent and my groceries and paying child support and everything that I've got, I'm really sitting at $100 at the end of the month.
Speaker 2 Okay.
Speaker 2 Okay.
Speaker 4 And are you on a tight budget, Ryan? Like, do you have things written down before the month begins and you stick to it and you're like very, very, very, very diligent with your expenses?
Speaker 3 Yeah.
Speaker 3 I'm just sitting down and going through all of the minimal, basically have everything. I'm following the baby stuff about, you know, having, I've got about two grand in savings right now.
Speaker 2 Okay.
Speaker 3 And I'm just throwing everything possible that I can at one debt.
Speaker 3 It just, the thing that's hard for me is between my,
Speaker 3 I would say one of my biggest expenses right now is my attorney fees, just because I'm still actively going through
Speaker 3 custody of my son.
Speaker 2 Okay.
Speaker 3 And yeah, just throwing
Speaker 2 money that way.
Speaker 4 How much money are you spending a month on that, would you say?
Speaker 3 I mean, last month I just spent, or I just paid him $1,200.
Speaker 2
Okay. That's a huge difference.
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 4 Is there, do you see an end at all to that? Like, do you have any estimation on when that will be wrapped up?
Speaker 3 I'm hoping this year. I mean,
Speaker 3 my ex, she and I were never married.
Speaker 2 Okay.
Speaker 3 So it's just been, you know, luckily, I haven't had to deal with the divorce side of it, just battling through it.
Speaker 2 Oh, I gotcha. I've been battling.
Speaker 4
Okay. That's the custody side.
Okay.
Speaker 3 He was born. Yeah.
Speaker 2 Okay.
Speaker 4 And how old is it a son? Is that what you said?
Speaker 2 Correct. How old is he?
Speaker 3 Two.
Speaker 4 So this has been going on for two years.
Speaker 2 Yeah. Okay.
Speaker 4 But you're thinking there is a possibility of
Speaker 4 all this to be wrapped up at the end of this calendar year is what you're thinking?
Speaker 3 Heck, yeah. We should just have one more hearing left.
Speaker 2
Okay. Okay.
Well, that's good.
Speaker 4 I mean, in a sense, I mean, from the emotional toll that that takes, plus freeing up some of that income, because I think, Ryan, for you right now, because it's not a crazy amount of debt.
Speaker 4 I mean, you know, 20,000,
Speaker 4 we've had a lot worse even on today's show.
Speaker 2 There's been some bigger numbers.
Speaker 4 So it's so doable, but I think it's an income issue at this point because I'm like, you know, after $5,300,
Speaker 4 you know, $1,200 of that going to attorney fees, you know, I know it's not every month necessarily like that, but I mean, that's a realistic idea of like, oh, yeah, like there's a big chunk leaving.
Speaker 4 It's almost like you have to replace
Speaker 4 that
Speaker 4 in order to gain any level of traction. Because $100 extra, it's not really going to move the needle much, especially with this credit card.
Speaker 4 $15,000 in credit card debt and your interest rate is what, probably $20,000, $22?
Speaker 3 And they're actually relatively low because I've had these credit cards for a while now, so I was able to stay on top of them. I was doing really, really well about, you know, just paying them off.
Speaker 3 I mean, only putting, you know,
Speaker 3 like putting gas and groceries on the credit cards and then just paying them off.
Speaker 2 You said that you've been throwing everything you can at the debt so far. How much, just give us maybe a three-month average to the best of your memory, or if you know it clearly.
Speaker 2 What is the amount you've been putting above all of your bills towards the extra, the extra? What is that extra amount you've been putting towards debt every month
Speaker 3 so i've got an american express card that i just do the minimum payment which right now is about you know 250 dollars i've got a capital one that's about the same 250 dollars um my visa
Speaker 3 um
Speaker 3 is pretty low um but my visa other than my attorney fees is the lowest amount so i'm throwing probably five hundred dollars towards that.
Speaker 2
In addition, is my question. I'm not talking your minimums.
I'm saying, are you? Oh, I thought you had said that you're throwing. I'm trying to get an idea here because I'm going somewhere with this.
Speaker 2 How much extra beyond your minimums are you putting towards debt every month?
Speaker 2 Probably 300 right now, as much as I can. And how often in the last five, six months have you gotten a big attorney bill?
Speaker 2 It's almost been every single month to this point. And what would you say the average has been? Has it been in that $1,200 range?
Speaker 3 $1,000 to $1,200. Yeah.
Speaker 2 Yeah, okay. So good news, bad news.
Speaker 2 Bad news is you're still in this fight, and I don't know if that's going to continue, but that is a massive chunk that if you didn't have that legal situation now, I'm going to add that.
Speaker 2 I'm going to say, let's be modest and say $1,000 plus the $300,000 in addition you've been putting already. That's $1,300 a month to Rachel's point.
Speaker 2 I'm trying to encourage you here and then give you something tactical.
Speaker 2 We can pay $20,000, pay the $5,000 to $6,000 off really quick in medical and the $20,000 in credit card, or excuse me, 16,000 in credit card we can pay that off really quick so the you ask the question how do I see the light at the end of the tunnel and I think you've got it you got to just hang in there to go once we get past the custody fight
Speaker 2 the light is shining bright because you're going to be able to put thirteen hundred dollars a month towards
Speaker 2 let's call it twenty one thousand change in debt correct
Speaker 2 that's going to go pretty quick now what do we do in the interim my question is, what can you do professionally?
Speaker 2 What skill set and experience do you have that could potentially make you an additional $1,000 to $2,000 a month?
Speaker 2 You may not be able to do it, but I want you to at least ask the question and go, where could I do this?
Speaker 2 Can I make an additional $1,000 to $2,000 a month so that we can make some progress while we're in this fight? That would be my goal, Rachel, if I were him.
Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean, if you just looked at this of like, you know, everything's on fire, I'm just, I am doing anything and everything it doesn't matter hour of the day and it's just kind of this like scorched earth feeling and what's crazy ryan is if you even just threw you know two thousand dollars you're you're done with this in november you know what i mean december january
Speaker 4 but i'm like it can happen so fast the snowball effect can take so it can it can start going in that momentum so fast but it's the income side that's going to do it and so it's that's kind of the lever you have to pull and you're exhausted i'm like you're you're fighting custody you're working full-time but but i would up this 70 000 a year uh i agree with some extra stuff that you can do again even an extra thousand dollars a month bringing something in
Speaker 4 1200 1300 anything extra ryan that's going to be your saving grace in this because it because it does get down to a math problem that's right and the income i don't see many expenses that you can cut um from what you've told me so i think it is it is just earning that extra income and it's for a short period of time that's right but then it's all done and cut up the credit cards ryan like today like get them out after we're done with this and be done with it.
Speaker 4 Because the temptation is to go back to those and you're going to go deeper in the hole. So just cut those out of your life completely.
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Speaker 2 All right, I want to say a very special happy birthday to one of our audience members that's watching live here in the studio. We just met her,
Speaker 2
her husband Eddie, and Millie is 28 today, if I remember. I think she said 28.
Is that right, Millie? 28. So the audience is clapping for her.
They're in Nashville. They came here.
Speaker 2 This was her big birthday thing.
Speaker 4 We get anniversaries.
Speaker 2 We get birthdays.
Speaker 4 We get a lot of
Speaker 2
celebratory. Millie, thank you for sharing your special day with us.
We're so happy to meet you. So I hope you enjoy the rest of the show.
I'll try to be on my best behavior now. All right.
Speaker 2 Let's go to Sean in Miami, Florida. Sean, how can we help?
Speaker 3 Hi, how are you doing?
Speaker 3 I recently quit my job making $80,000 a year to start my own business, and I'm just wondering, having a little self-doubt, wondering if it was a mistake or not.
Speaker 2 Uh-oh. what is making you wonder if this is a mistake tell me what's really going on
Speaker 2 i
Speaker 3 am a single-income family of four
Speaker 3 i have two kids um
Speaker 3 and i'm the sole provider my wife uh hasn't worked since uh she got pregnant with our first child 15 years ago so this is kind of an everything
Speaker 2 on my shoulders type of deal how long have you been self-employed?
Speaker 3 This would be my first time. I have worked in the middle of the year.
Speaker 2
No, no, I'm literally saying, I know you quit your $80,000 year job. How long ago was that? How long have you been on your own without someone else paying you? A week.
A week. Okay, okay.
Speaker 2
Well, all right. That helps.
That gives you some perspective.
Speaker 2
Do you have any clients lined up? Do you have any kind of a pipeline? Or is this, I mean, give me some status. Okay.
Tell me what we're doing.
Speaker 3 For years, I've been saving towards this goal. I have about 80K saved up in an investment account and about 40K saved up in a savings account.
Speaker 2 Okay, is that investment account? It's non-retirement, correct?
Speaker 3 Yeah, it's just like a through-the-bank a private
Speaker 2
investment type. I'm already, I got to tell you, I'm already indigestion is gone for you.
All right. The way you started this call, I was looking for a roll of tums, and that might be a two-tums call.
Speaker 2 I was starting to feel it, but you got your 80,000, and I'm proud of you for this. You've got the 80,000 that you walked away from in an investment account, and you got an additional 40.
Speaker 2 Do you have any debt?
Speaker 3 No, I've paid off all three of my cars.
Speaker 3
We do not own a house. We rent.
I've rented the same house for 12 years, and my rent has not moved. So I'm in a very good
Speaker 2
fantastic. All right, now tell me about the revenue.
I understand we've got 80 put away, away, which is great. That gives you a 12-month
Speaker 2 career. Well,
Speaker 3 I also have three months of my bills paid ahead of time
Speaker 3 before I quit. I went ahead and paid three months of rent, three months of insurance.
Speaker 2 Sean, what do you do? What's the job that you're doing now?
Speaker 4 Yeah, what are you doing now?
Speaker 3 So I'm a diesel technician by trade. I work on heavy-duty trucks and fleet services.
Speaker 2 Do you have clients signed up that have already said, Eddie? I mean, excuse me. Sean, we're staying with you.
Speaker 3 I have regular customers who have dealt with me
Speaker 3 for years on the weekends and side work like that.
Speaker 2 Are they your current clients?
Speaker 3 I have to,
Speaker 3 I just started my LLC Monday, so technically no one signed up for it yet. I have just created a
Speaker 2 vote on this time. I understand the technical side, but do these people know that you've left company XYZ that was employing you and now you're going out on your own? Do they know this?
Speaker 3 Yes, yes. I've done a few side jobs for these employees.
Speaker 2 Have you gotten any kind of verbal commitments to say, hey, we want to stay with you, Sean? Yeah.
Speaker 2
Yeah. Okay, then.
So, best gut here, let's be modest, and I think you're the perfect guy. By the way, I want to congratulate you.
Speaker 2 If someone called me up and said, What should I do to transition from day job to working for myself? I kid you not, Sean. I would say exactly what you said.
Speaker 2
You went above and beyond what I would have said. You've prepaid your bills.
I mean, this is really, really responsible.
Speaker 2 So, I I want to applaud you because I am trying to get your pulse to drop. Now the focus is
Speaker 2
how quickly are we getting paid, start working on diesel engines? And I think you're in the right trade, by the way. I think you should do fine.
But modestly, what do you expect over the next 90 days?
Speaker 2 Let's take the next three months. What do you expect to be able to make doing the diesel mechanical?
Speaker 3 Immediately, I'm going to have to put up about 15 to 20 grand because I'm going to need a truck and some of of the larger shop equipment that I was using.
Speaker 3 I have all of my personal tools, but you will need larger tools that the shop was providing before.
Speaker 2
All right, so we're going to take that out of the 40 grand we set aside. So now we got 20 grand set aside.
You think that,
Speaker 2 okay. But you didn't answer my question.
Speaker 2 And I love that you told me that. But my question is, what do you anticipate making over the next three months?
Speaker 2 Revenue.
Speaker 3 Well, I was planning on
Speaker 3 hopefully being able to pull down at least three to four grand a month.
Speaker 1 Great.
Speaker 2 So, all that said, I don't think you've made a huge mistake.
Speaker 2 If you believe that you've got a pipeline that's out there as you begin to get out there and hit the page, and you're in the same industry, which is such a great
Speaker 4
thing to the other, but it's the same clientele. Like it's the same contacts and everything.
It's not like you're doing this. And if you've got
Speaker 4 computer sales or something, you know. Yeah.
Speaker 2 So let me go forward, Sean, and maybe give you a litmus test, okay, for yourself.
Speaker 2 If you go three to four months without any income and you're not getting any clients saying, hey, I want you, and you have to start eating into that 80,000, I think then you start to go,
Speaker 2 what's not working and why is it not working? As of right now,
Speaker 2 I'm not able to say that you've made a mistake. I don't think you have.
Speaker 2 You strike me as such a responsible guy.
Speaker 3 The great thing in my position is with all my certifications and qualifications, I could walk across the street right now and any other company would hire me.
Speaker 2 That's what Rachel was saying. That's right.
Speaker 2 And Rachel was pointing that out.
Speaker 2
I always have that as a fallback. Yes.
And you're in high demand.
Speaker 2 Are you not?
Speaker 3
I have two grandfathers who have opposing views on this situation. Both are company owners.
One says business loan, gamble with someone else's money.
Speaker 3 And the other person says to use my $40,000 in savings.
Speaker 2
We agree with him. I already told you what I said to do.
You go get the truck. And I was going to challenge you on that, by the way.
Speaker 2 If you can rent the equipment in the first 90 days, I'd rent it if it's cheaper.
Speaker 2 Now, if it's cheaper to buy, then buy it because you've got the 40,000 set aside and you only need what you're anticipating is 20,000 in expenditure.
Speaker 2 So, but if it was me, I would rent if it was a decent savings. You know, it's kind of like, all right, I'm out on my own now.
Speaker 2 Instead of buying all this equipment, maybe I rent it if, again, it's cheaper.
Speaker 4
It's cheaper. Yeah.
And I would caution you so much, Sean, of opening that debt door.
Speaker 4 Because once you do that, especially with small businesses, because what Ken said was right, it's like once you kind of have a litmus test of like a timeline and if you're three, four months in and it's like something's not working, when you open the door of debt, we've seen this so much that people just, well, I'll just make it one more month or two more months.
Speaker 4
And you end up in such a hole and then it doesn't work. Let's say it doesn't.
Now you have all this. business debt and no business.
Speaker 4 It's like going to college and getting a student loan and not even getting the degree, right? So like it's, it is not even worth entertaining that idea. Move at the speed of cash.
Speaker 4 And I'm telling you, the stress load when you don't have a bank asking for their payment, I mean, it changes your decision making too, Sean.
Speaker 4 You are in such a peaceful place right now and you're making such sound, smart decisions. Stay there.
Speaker 4
It's worked, right? It's working. So don't, don't change that.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 Absolutely. Sean, again, I applaud you.
Speaker 4 Well done. I know.
Speaker 2 If you want to be extra conservative and your wife is willing, I don't think she needs to.
Speaker 2 But if you want to be extra conservative and your wife is willing to work for three to six months just to offset some stuff, then that'd be an idea as well. But she doesn't have to.
Speaker 2 I'm not recommending that.
Speaker 4 Yeah, and maybe that's an option.
Speaker 4 Like if you're kind of getting there four months in and you think you both see the light, but it's like, hey, look, two or three months of something would feel better. Maybe she does do that, right?
Speaker 4 I mean, like, you know, there's some.
Speaker 2
Just to avoid touching the 80, I guess. And I'm only saying that as a super conservative.
I'm not recommending that she go back to work.
Speaker 2
I'm just trying to show you every option because what Rachel just said is gold. The idea of not having debt is all about peace.
And there's nothing worse than going after the dream.
Speaker 2 And Sean, is this a dream for you?
Speaker 2
Yes. There is nothing worse than going after a dream and it becomes a nightmare.
And I think you've set this up to where you're not going to have any nightmare.
Speaker 4
And it's in such demand. You're in such a great industry.
So I think you're going to do great, Sean. You really do.
Speaker 2
Zero risk right now. But if you take out debt, you bring risk in.
But right now, zero risk. And man, what a great way to achieve the American dream.
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Speaker 2 This is the Ramsey Show, where we help you win with your money, win in your profession, and win with your relationships. Alongside the fabulous, very springy today, Rachel Cruz.
Speaker 2 I'm Ken Coleman, just trying to keep up.
Speaker 2
888-825-5225 is the phone number. Charlotte, North Carolina.
I believe it's known as the Queen City, Rachel.
Speaker 2
I like to give her useless facts, and sometimes you at home appreciate them, or maybe you don't at all. David is there.
David, how can we help?
Speaker 3 Rachel and Ken, so excited to talk with you. Yeah, it is the Queen City.
Speaker 2
You're right, Ken. I'm doing my part.
You just made his day, David. You just made his day.
Thank you, David.
Speaker 3 Awesome. Well, yeah, I've been on the Ramsey plan now 20 years.
Speaker 3 I found you guys back in 05, got out of debt in less than 18 months as you teach, and have lived below my means on the personal and business side ever since. Good for you.
Speaker 3 Today's question is in regards to the tariffs. I own a business, and in December, I made our largest ever investment in equipment and I paid in full when I ordered back in December.
Speaker 3 Took four months to make and it's ready to ship now, but it's coming from China.
Speaker 3 And so two days ago I was told if I want to import it, it's going to cost 80% of what I paid just for the product. But now with today's news, what, 145%?
Speaker 3 So
Speaker 2
who knows what Trump's going to do? He He might just get excited and go 300%. I mean, we're in a full-scale trade war right now.
And this is real stuff right here.
Speaker 2
This is where this kind of stuff, you've heard me yammer about it in private. Oh, yeah.
Now it's real. Ken, are you?
Speaker 2
I'm pretty fired up, actually. I'm pretty pissed off.
Go, Ken. Because I'm going to say this real quick, and then we're going to get in the numbers.
Tariffs are taxes.
Speaker 2 And we have never in the history of this great country.
Speaker 2
taxed our way into prosperity and it's the Davids of the world that are going to get hit hard on this. So let's talk real situation.
What's your question based on where you stand right now?
Speaker 2 And I'll start working through this with you.
Speaker 3 So I know that since I already paid back in December, that's a sunk cost, as you always say.
Speaker 3 I mean, do I pay the 80% or even now 145% or 300%,
Speaker 3 whatever it is?
Speaker 3 Or do I wait to see if it comes down? But as you say, you know, shoot, it could go up, right?
Speaker 2 Yeah. So the question I have for you is, if let's just assume, let's play this out as though you got
Speaker 2 scammed and you paid for this and you're never going to get the equipment. Where does that put you in your actual business?
Speaker 2 How does that affect your business, your ability to provide to your customer what you need to provide?
Speaker 3 I mean, because I followed your plan and paid in cash, then, you know, it's a hard lesson, but we're going to make it, right?
Speaker 2 so not getting that equipment but you need the equipment
Speaker 2 that's what I'm trying to get at I mean will it interrupt
Speaker 3 no I mean I can I can rent and I mean I got a couple jobs up in May that next month that I need it for but I've already just planned to rent now anyway because they delayed the shipment had had we received it when we were supposed to
Speaker 2 this wouldn't even be an issue but all right and just for real numbers what is the actual since you've already paid cash what is the actual dollar amount that you're going to owe as of today?
Speaker 2 If you were to call them and go ship it, what's the actual cost, not the percentage of the tariff, but the actual cost to you?
Speaker 3 Yeah, as of two days ago, it was $53,000.
Speaker 2 And just so the American people that are listening in here can hear this, what would it have been under the previous tariff?
Speaker 3 I'm not sure.
Speaker 3 I'm not sure. Maybe $25,000?
Speaker 2 No,
Speaker 2
not if it's $125,000. So it's a sizable chunk to you.
So
Speaker 2 if it were me, I'd wait to see what happens.
Speaker 2 Because of what you said,
Speaker 2 I would delay shipment.
Speaker 2 Absolutely, I would delay.
Speaker 4 Yeah, is there any harm, David, if you said, hey, I'm going to just wait six months and any job I have between now and then, I'm just going to rent
Speaker 2
for the, they'll just hold it. It's not going to get any worse.
I'm not going to sit here and tell you that I know what Trump's going to do or Xi Jinping is going to do. I don't know.
Speaker 2
But I don't think it's going to get demonstrably worse. I mean, we're talking cartoonish levels right now.
125% tariff. Let's just be honest.
Trump is negotiating, and who knows if it's going to work?
Speaker 2
But this is absurd. So I would sit on the sideline because you can't.
I think that's absolutely the play. Yeah.
Speaker 2 And I wish I could say more.
Speaker 4 How much does it cost David to rent what you're going to do? How much will that be out of pocket?
Speaker 3 Yeah, so that's not too much.
Speaker 3 It depends on the size.
Speaker 4 Like a couple of grand or like 10?
Speaker 3 Yeah, so
Speaker 3 for the first event, it's going to cost maybe about $4,000.
Speaker 3 The second event, it's going to cost maybe about eight or nine grand. Okay.
Speaker 4 Because there is a point of diminishing return that, right, you end up renting so much that you could have just had it.
Speaker 2 And
Speaker 2 at which point you go, all right, I'm going to eat the 53.
Speaker 2 So there's almost like a timeline, David, of, you know, well, but if your renting is based on the job, do you price in the renting to the job?
Speaker 3 Oh, yeah. I mean, yeah, yeah, I'm working up.
Speaker 2 So then my point is, is then as long as you can do that,
Speaker 2
to Rachel's point, I would never, I would not pay this tax. But you got to understand something, David.
You got to take what I'm saying with a, about a bag of salt because I hate taxes.
Speaker 1 Like, right.
Speaker 2
The only thing I hate more than taxes is Satan. I mean, that's the honest to God truth.
So
Speaker 2 taxes come from hell, and so they're related.
Speaker 2 That's my take on it. And so I would sit tight, and I'm really sorry this is happening.
Speaker 2 I'm really sorry, but I'm glad you called.
Speaker 2 And I'm also glad, by the way.
Speaker 3 I'm glad I found y'all years ago because
Speaker 3 I can wait.
Speaker 2 Yes, this is why cash is king
Speaker 2 for small businesses, because you cannot control what a president does or what a premier of another country does.
Speaker 2 And you're stuck in the crossfire here. But
Speaker 4 Ken, you were just on.
Speaker 2 I was just on Fox Business about this.
Speaker 4 As I was going to say, you were just on.
Speaker 2
And I said this was what I was worried about. And this is, and for our audience, I want to be very clear.
This is not a political statement. This is not a Republican statement.
Speaker 4 Because even within the Republican Party, this issue is divided. Very
Speaker 4 vague and people. It's very divided.
Speaker 4 Even within it, people have different opinions.
Speaker 2 But what I'm going to say is, is that I personally, I'm speaking personally, not on behalf of the Ramsey Show, but I'm speaking from an economic standpoint.
Speaker 2
As a conservative, I am not for taxes ever. It's the last resort.
Do I think taxes are necessary to fund a government? Yes, of course.
Speaker 2 But what I said in New York on that show, and I'll say it right now, this is why I'm not in favor of a trade war.
Speaker 2 When you go to war with commerce, Rachel, the very act of war means one side has to lose. And I know we got very opinionated people saying China's done this for a long time.
Speaker 2
I'm not disagreeing with any of that. What I'm saying is forget the reason why Trump's doing it.
I'm not debating it. I'm saying the outcome is pain and hope it gets better.
Speaker 2
You hope that this goes away and that Trump gets to zero-zero. Everybody wants that, by the way.
Yeah. I don't care what side of the aisle you're on.
Sure, sure.
Speaker 2 But I am concerned about the impact on small business. And so, what I would say is: I said all that to say this: if you're a small business owner, like a David,
Speaker 2 now is a great reminder that you cannot control geopolitics.
Speaker 2 What you can control is socking money away and don't get in debt because David is actually able to weather what could be a really ugly storm because of that. That's my whole point.
Speaker 2 So I hope all of you didn't get your feathers ruffled. The point I'm making is you got to be able to withstand economic ups and downs that sometimes are policy driven.
Speaker 2
So hopefully this all gets settled pretty soon. But make no mistake, folks, the deal with China, it affects more small businesses than any other country.
So hopefully it works out.
Speaker 2 Crossing my fingers.
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Speaker 1
Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired? You can take control of your money and your relationships. And it starts with just one night.
Join me and Dr.
Speaker 1
John Deloney live in a city near you on the Money and Relationships Tour. We're covering the real life stuff that matters so you can break the cycles that have left you stuck.
It's coming up fast.
Speaker 1 So get your tickets for Louisville, Durham, Atlanta, Phoenix, Fort Worth, or Kansas City at ramseysolutions.com slash tour today.
Speaker 2 Well, you know, some days we have a fabulous audience. Most days for the show, we have a fabulous audience.
Speaker 2 It comes to the lobby here at Ramsey Solutions and we can see these fine people looking through the glass we go out and say hi and all that kind of stuff and today happens to be a birthday day we've had a lot of two birthdays and so we had young Millie
Speaker 2 who was 28 and now we just met the fabulous Carol
Speaker 2 who just turned 80 a couple days ago and she's got the team out there and notice the glasses she's got a sash what do you call that
Speaker 2 she's got a tiara
Speaker 2
and she's got these fabulous glasses James and she's hating this right now and she is isn't. By the way, Carol looked as though she was in shock, James.
She's very embarrassed by all the attention.
Speaker 2 And so one of the party that she's with loaned me their glasses. So I wanted to say a special happy birthday to you, Carol.
Speaker 2 You look fabulous. You don't look a day over 50.
Speaker 2 And we're very blessed that you're here.
Speaker 2 And they're about to hit the town.
Speaker 4 They're going to go to, you should meet them on Broadway.
Speaker 2
Actually, I'm going to ask James if I can take the rest of the show off. And I'm just going to head you ready to play Benny and the Jets or something right now.
Yeah,
Speaker 2
Benny and the Jets. So there you go.
There you go. How about that? Very fun stuff, sir.
Speaker 2 Happy birthday again.
Speaker 4 So fun.
Speaker 2 So fun when people spend their special day with us. I know.
Speaker 4
We get anniversaries. We get honeymoon sometimes.
Yeah, we do. That's always the craziest one.
Speaker 2 I'm like, I can't believe you're here on your honeymoon. What are you doing here? The Ramsey Show Question of the Day is brought to you by YReFi.
Speaker 2 YReFi offers a different approach to paying off your defaulted private student loans with a low fixed rate for less stress. Go to yrefi.com slash Ramsey.
Speaker 2 That's the letter Y, R E F Y dot com slash Ramsey. It may not be available in all states.
Speaker 4
All right, today's question comes from Aiden in New Mexico. My wife is a contract business consultant and is also self-employed as an artist.
When it comes to paperwork, she's very disorganized.
Speaker 4 It has gotten to the point where I have taken my tax documents to a tax preparer twice because I didn't want the IRS auditing me.
Speaker 4 I beg her every year to get her stuff together and to file on time, but it never happens, which leads to arguments. How do I get her to understand the seriousness of this situation?
Speaker 2 Oof.
Speaker 4
That's tough. Well, it's taxes.
I'm like, it's back to taxes. Yeah.
But you've got to do it. Yeah.
Speaker 2 And that's what I was going to say. Like, so this is a relationship issue, but in this situation, it's not you coming to the
Speaker 2
table with a, hey, let me tell you about these baby steps. Let me tell you about this Ramsey plan.
I'd like to get us on a budget. Like, this is the federal government.
This is the law.
Speaker 2
Yeah. There's a wiggle room here.
So
Speaker 2
it seems like it needs to be a reality check. This isn't trying to get her on board.
Right. This is like, we will go to jail.
Speaker 4 This is the law.
Speaker 2 And I don't think I look good in orange, sweetheart, you know, or whatever you got to say here. This comes back to a relationship thing, but I hate to make it so simplistic.
Speaker 2 I want you to weigh in, but I think it is, hey, this is super serious.
Speaker 2
This isn't my opinion. We have to do this.
Let's make this a lot less difficult by let's get all our stuff together and be on the same page.
Speaker 4 Yeah. And I think self-awareness is huge because she's an artist and
Speaker 4 I'm not pointing fingers, but I do think there is a, I think that's a fair point. When you are an artist, there is a little bit more of a free spirit within you, right?
Speaker 4
Numbers is usually not your strength and vice versa. People that are great with numbers are terrible usually at being creative.
So it's a, it's a, again, it is how you were wired. and gifted.
Speaker 4 And then I think it is a self-aware adult to say, hey, I have things and weaknesses in my life and in my personality, I'm going to be an adult and I have to obey the law, but also what systems can I put in place to help me in those weaknesses?
Speaker 4 Because I'm not naturally good at all of this, right? She's very disorganized is what he said. So
Speaker 4 that would be more of the conversation of, hey,
Speaker 4
what can we do to help you? It's not a point the finger at you constantly. It is, hey, yeah, this is the law.
So it has to be done. So what systems can we put in place together?
Speaker 4 And as the husband, I'm here to help you.
Speaker 4
And I mean, and he's like on his own. We're like, I'm just taking my tax documents and over here, which I get because he doesn't want to go to jail either.
Right.
Speaker 2 So he's kind of hedging his bet. Yeah, seriously.
Speaker 4 But I think it's, it is, hey, how can I help us help you put some systems into place?
Speaker 4 But there is a point that she has to be an adult, right? Like you can, you can be on that. You can, you can carve a situation and a conversation a certain way to a point.
Speaker 4
But there's also a point, Ken, with all of this, especially the law. But then other things of like, my wife just continues to spend more.
There's just a point that, like,
Speaker 4 you're not able to change that person, and they have to be the adult. And it's sad when they're not.
Speaker 4 But we see that a lot around here.
Speaker 2
It's a really tough situation. Thanks for sharing the question with us.
Knoxville, Tennessee, the home of
Speaker 2 Rachel's alma mater.
Speaker 2 Sam is there. Sam, how can we help?
Speaker 3 Yes, I have a question for you regarded to my truck.
Speaker 3 I have a
Speaker 3 2001 truck, and it just rolled out of warranty. I intend to keep the truck for a longer period of time, or at least I hope so,
Speaker 3 and was offered an extended warranty by the dealership. And so what I did is added up all of the cost of repairs that wouldn't have been covered or were covered by warranty, that no longer would.
Speaker 3 And it came out to about 8,800 bucks in the four years that I've owned the truck. So it hasn't been necessarily super reliable, very expensive to repair.
Speaker 3 And as I intend on keeping the truck or want to keep the truck, I kind of want to explore my options. Should I buy this warranty for $5,600?
Speaker 3 Should I risk it, continue driving the truck for another 100,000 miles without warranty? Or should I go out and get a new truck with a fresh warranty?
Speaker 3 What's your opinion? And kind of just want to gauge a direction to go in.
Speaker 4 What's been the repairs? I mean, about 2,000 a year is what it ends up being. What has it been?
Speaker 3
Yeah, it's really little stuff, to be honest with you. It's the motor in the tailgate.
It's got one of these automatic tailgates.
Speaker 3 It was the air conditioning control module in the dash. It was a sensor in the, I guess, the parking sensor system.
Speaker 2 Yeah.
Speaker 2 Yeah, so what I'm concerned about.
Speaker 2 Go ahead. Go ahead.
Speaker 4 Well, I was going to say, I mean, you know, as you kind of look through this from a math perspective, it's less than like 200 bucks a month is what it ends up being, which just feels expensive.
Speaker 4 Like if the stuff isn't being fixed, like that's one issue.
Speaker 4 But I'm not a big fan of extended warranties because I'm like, it's the thing should work.
Speaker 4 And if not, I would rather it be in my court again, unless there's some crazy recall right now, Sam, and they're like, you know.
Speaker 4 giving you some discounts on the extended warranty or whatever it may be. But I, we usually factor in cars.
Speaker 4 We have a sinking fund that we've set up that if anything goes wrong with the cars, we use that sinking fund. So again, for yours, it's coming out to be around $200 a month.
Speaker 4 So I would probably just set some money aside and then hopefully most of this gets fixed because, I mean, the fact that you keep going in and in for repairs is, that's frustrating.
Speaker 3 Yeah, no, you're right. And for me, it's not really a money issue.
Speaker 3 You know, the truck's paid off.
Speaker 3
Right. The 200 bucks a month is really negligible based on our income.
It's more kind of a,
Speaker 3 I guess, a psychological feel. Do I keep throwing money at a truck?
Speaker 2 No, that's a different question.
Speaker 2
That's where I came down. Yeah, that's a different question.
So that's where I came down. I agree with everything Rachel said.
Speaker 2 I'm going to come down on this one and go, I'm the kind of guy, this is the way I'm wired, where
Speaker 2 I'm not going to keep dealing with this truck. I'm going to go, this thing's a lemon, or it's an issue with the manufacturer, and they just don't do a good job making the parts.
Speaker 2
And I'm just tired of this mess. For me, because in your situation, I would be in the same boat.
Any mechanical work I got to do, I'm not stressed out about it.
Speaker 2
I got the money set aside, whatever, whatever, whatever. But it's like, it's time.
Time is money. You remember that old phrase? It's kind of true.
Is it 2001, Sam? Is that what you said?
Speaker 3 Yeah, it's a 2001 with 80,000 miles on it, and it's a hybrid. And I don't know if you kind of look into some of these hybrid issues, but if the hybrid motors or the
Speaker 4 2021 or
Speaker 2 2001.
Speaker 4 I didn't know they were making hybrids in 01.
Speaker 2 No, it's a 21.
Speaker 3 2021.
Speaker 5 21.
Speaker 4 Yeah, you kept saying 01. I was like, man, they were ahead of their game with
Speaker 2
hybrids in 2001. I couldn't spell hybrid in 2012.
I know.
Speaker 4
Okay. So 2021.
That makes way more sense.
Speaker 2 I was like, I'd get rid of it. I'd sell it.
Speaker 2
I'd sell it. Okay.
And that's somebody else's problem. And I'd go get myself a truck that had a much higher rating.
that I'm not in the shop all the time.
Speaker 2
And again, it's just the nick. These are like little paper cuts, it feels like.
What a nuisance, man.
Speaker 2 i'd be like why would i buy your warranty how about you make a better truck that's what i'd have said to the dealer but i can be sassy that way but i feel like that's true absolutely
Speaker 2 i got an idea why don't you make a better truck that i don't need all this warranty because all the stuff seems that's hard little piddly stuff so you got the cash i'd get rid of the nuisance let it be somebody else's problem
Speaker 4 All right, Dave, you have some strong opinions.
Speaker 2 Possibly, yeah.
Speaker 4
I think so. Okay, because you really prefer credit unions over big banks.
So why is that?
Speaker 6 Well, credit unions, for one thing, are non-profit, which means that the members, the customers, own the credit union. So any profits that the credit union makes goes back into customer pricing.
Speaker 6 So you get better interest rate on savings, cheaper checking, and so on, that kind of thing.
Speaker 6 And what's more important than that, though, is the fact that the customer is the owner changes the spirit on the credit union. So I find very few credit unions that aren't very customer-centric.
Speaker 4
Yes. Well, and I think we have found one that is incredible, and that's Fairwinds.
They are an incredible credit union that is really out with the heart to help the customer.
Speaker 2 You know, that's why we're partnering with them, because
Speaker 6 they've got a scope to be able to handle the Ramsey audience, and they're the right kind of people with the right kind of values. And they've done a really, really good job with customer service.
Speaker 6 the deals that they're offering, the Ramsey tribe is incredible.
Speaker 2 Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 4
And you're right. Their customer service is unbelievable.
Winston and I just signed up and we got an account. And I'm not kidding.
Speaker 4
It took less than five minutes. It was so user-friendly.
Like the step-by-step approach was unbelievable. And then the next day, my phone rings and it says fair wins on my phone.
Speaker 4
So I answered it and talked to someone there. And they said, yeah, they give calls to every new customer.
And so, again, they just really care about your experience. And I, I so, so appreciate that.
Speaker 4 So again, you guys, I know it can be a pain to switch banks or to open up new accounts, but Fairwinds, again, they make it so easy.
Speaker 4 Plus, anything that you can do at a traditional branch, you can do with them at fairwinds.org or on their app. And you'll have free access to over 33,000 ATMs.
Speaker 6 Hey, you guys know how much I hate banks in general. And so for me to do this is a big deal.
Speaker 6 Talk to our friends at Fairwinds and check out the combined checking and savings bundle that they created just for the Ramsey tribe. You guys, it's incredible.
Speaker 4
Yeah, you guys, it's so easy to join Fairwinds no matter where you live. So go to fairwinds.org slash Ramsey to learn more.
That's F-A-I-R-W-I-N-D-S dot org slash Ramsey.
Speaker 1 All right, business owners, last call. The pre-sale for the brand new book, Build a Business You Love, ends April 15th.
Speaker 1 Pre-order now and get over $350 worth of free bonus items to help you hire smarter, lead stronger, and grow faster. This is not theory.
Speaker 1 It's a system I use to grow my company from nothing and the same framework we've coached thousands of business owners through. You can only get the bonuses at ramseysolutions.com slash store.
Speaker 1 So don't wait. Pre-order now.
Speaker 2 All right, folks, when we talk about money and relationships,
Speaker 2 it just brings up all kinds of emotions for people because that's where so many relationships can go bad.
Speaker 2 I mean, we take calls all the time on the show where it poses as a money question, but it's really now become a relationship issue. Money fights are the leading cause of divorce.
Speaker 2 Kids go into debt for a job. We're isolated, don't feel like we can live the life we want to live because we're so strapped.
Speaker 2
But it's possible to break that cycle in your money and in your relationships. That's why Dave Ramsey and Dr.
John Deloney are headed out on the Money in Relationships tour.
Speaker 2 They're going to be handling all of those issues and taking some really fun questions, things from the audience that they vote on.
Speaker 2 It's going to be a very different format, and they're coming to a city near you.
Speaker 2 Louisville, April 21, Durham, April 23, Atlanta, April 25, Phoenix, May 5, Fort Worth, May 7, and Kansas City on May 9th. You can get your tickets to join them live at ramseysolutions.com slash tour.
Speaker 2 That's ramseysolutions.com slash tour.
Speaker 2 If you're listening via podcast or watching on YouTube, click the link in the show notes to get your money and relationship tour event ticket with Dave Ramsey and Dr. John Deloney.
Speaker 2
Back to the phones we go. Bozeman, Montana is where Bear waits for us.
I got to tell you, Bear, I wish my name was Bear. Bear Coleman, I think I'd be a much bigger deal.
I'm doing well. How are you?
Speaker 3 Oh, still upright and breathing, so I'm quite happy.
Speaker 2 Say that again?
Speaker 3 I'm still upright and breathing, so I'm quite happy.
Speaker 2
I love you, Bear. I hope that doesn't make you uncomfortable.
Is that your given name or a nickname?
Speaker 3 I used your guys' anonymous feature.
Speaker 2 Oh, so you named yourself.
Speaker 3 I just thought of something and then it's like,
Speaker 3 who do I know who doesn't know my nicknames?
Speaker 2 And I love it most of my life from family. So I love that you're like, you know, we appreciate that.
Speaker 4 Sometimes we'll give an anonymous name if it's a personal question. We love that so that you can see
Speaker 2 this. Man, bear from me.
Speaker 4 Ken and I will come back at the end of the segment and tell you what our anonymous name would be.
Speaker 2
I'm going to pick a name. Let's my anonymous name.
That's going to be great. We'll reveal that at the end here.
This is going to be great. But Bear, first and foremost, how can we help you?
Speaker 3 Well, I have some questions about job offers, and I don't want to sink myself
Speaker 3 because
Speaker 3 I've, how'd you say?
Speaker 3 I'm trying to get ahead, and I've been wise with my money, I believe.
Speaker 3 And
Speaker 3 I would like to get farther ahead given that I am currently single
Speaker 3 and
Speaker 3 own property and looking at buying more property.
Speaker 3 But there's a brand new job offer that came up and I don't want to jump and then make purchase and then all of a sudden I'm finding that I'm in trouble.
Speaker 2 Why would you be in trouble? What could go wrong
Speaker 2 by taking this new job goes wrong?
Speaker 3 Okay. If the job goes wrong.
Speaker 2 Is there in your mind, is there a high percentage chance, medium percentage chance, or low percentage chance that the job could go wrong?
Speaker 3 Probably low.
Speaker 2 What's the job?
Speaker 2 Hello?
Speaker 2
I think the bear has stepped in a trap. That's unfortunate.
We're going to put him on a hold. Oh, shoot.
If we can get bear back,
Speaker 2
I think he stepped in a phone trap. He's gone.
He was there, and now he's not.
Speaker 2
That's really unfortunate. Let's go to Tyler in Des Moines, Iowa.
Tyler, how can we help?
Speaker 3
Hey, Ken. Hey, Rachel.
Thanks for taking my call. You bet.
Speaker 2 What's up?
Speaker 3 So I'm 26 and my fiancé and I are getting married in a month or so. And
Speaker 3 we have a lot that we purchased with cash and we're waiting to build.
Speaker 3 And we're just kind of wondering, is it better to build build or wait or like build this summer or buy a house in cash since that we're so young
Speaker 4 because you have a lot and then you have cash extra cash and you're saying should we take this cash and build on the lot or go buy a home yep okay is is the cash that you guys have saved enough to buy a home that's reasonable for you guys
Speaker 3 so like
Speaker 3 i can give you some numbers just to yeah that's great so like um so we have like 30 000 in single stocks i know you guys don't like single stocks but that's okay 30 000.
Speaker 3 the lots were at 75 so we could sell that maybe
Speaker 3 um
Speaker 3 money market is 120 000
Speaker 3 uh checking
Speaker 3 we have about 12 000 in and
Speaker 3 our cars are worth
Speaker 4 okay well tell me this so that's about i mean but not including the lot, you got $150, but that I would want you to have an emergency fund out of that. So we're down to maybe $100.
Speaker 4 Do you, and if, and if you sold the lot, could you buy a home for $175 in your area that you guys would be happy with?
Speaker 3 It
Speaker 3 probably no less than $250.
Speaker 2 Okay. So, like,
Speaker 3 so we're currently living in a trailer, and I could sell it out for another $30.
Speaker 2 Okay.
Speaker 2 Yep. Okay.
Speaker 4 So what I would probably do, honestly, Tyler, is rent. I'm not a big fan of motorhomes because it is something that goes down in value so quickly.
Speaker 4 So there's a part of me that would just sell that and then you guys go rent somewhere for a year or two, stock up some cash, kind of see where you're at.
Speaker 4 And I wouldn't, I don't think I would, I wouldn't
Speaker 4 make big moves on selling the lot and all of this because you guys could get a few years down the road and want to build
Speaker 4 depending on the situation. Is the lot somewhere you would want to live?
Speaker 3 Yeah, it's about five minutes from where I live now.
Speaker 4 Yeah, but you guys like the area and all of that then, where the lot is.
Speaker 2 Okay.
Speaker 4 Do you guys, would you guys want to build on it eventually? Is that like a dream you have?
Speaker 3 Yeah.
Speaker 3 Like we were planning in July, but with tariffs and everything, we're not sure because we were trying to keep our mortgage payment at $2,500 because we're seeing like $9,000 to thousand like come into our checking every month.
Speaker 2 Okay, good.
Speaker 4 So that kind of keeps you in the good
Speaker 2 for sure, for sure. So okay, yeah.
Speaker 4 Well, I would either just stay put where you guys are for a year or sell the trailer and go rent somewhere
Speaker 4 for a year or two. I don't think there's any big rush.
Speaker 4 And I think to your point, with everything that's kind of going nuts right now, just kind of letting all that settle, and then look up and say, okay, either we're going to just, you know, buy a home and live in it for five, six years, you know, get our family established and then build our dream home on this lot years down the road.
Speaker 4 Or if you guys have the cash available and you want to do the home buying or the home build process, then you could do that. But I don't think I would sell this lot right now.
Speaker 2 No, I wouldn't do that.
Speaker 4 I would, I would be renting until I knew what my next probably five-year plan would be housing-wise. Okay.
Speaker 2 Yeah. Okay.
Speaker 4 So that'll, and, and I think, too, renting, especially your first year of marriage and stuff, it's just, it's just easy having people kind of take care of what needs to be taken care of and you're not having to deal with home ownership and all of that.
Speaker 4 So that's probably what I would do, Tyler.
Speaker 3
Okay. Thank you.
I appreciate it.
Speaker 2 Yep, absolutely.
Speaker 4 Thanks for the call.
Speaker 2 Yeah, thank you so much.
Speaker 2 Do we have time?
Speaker 2
Do we think we have Bear? We're going to go back to Bear. We'll see if we can do this really quick.
Let's see.
Speaker 2
Where is Bear? There he is. Line four.
Bear, we got you back. We only got about a minute.
Speaker 2 Here's where we left off.
Speaker 2 What would have to happen for your new job offer to truly go bad? What would you have to do or what would have to be a circumstance that would cause that job to just kind of go away?
Speaker 3 Well,
Speaker 3 how do you say?
Speaker 3 I do very skilled and specialized utility work
Speaker 3 and
Speaker 3 I'm sitting pretty all right right now
Speaker 3 with about $70,000 a year.
Speaker 2 Could you pop back into that work if it didn't work out, this new job?
Speaker 2 I could. And how much more will a new job pay i've got just a little bit of time so i'm asking quick questions how much more would this new job pay you than you're making now
Speaker 3 uh about seven dollars more an hour probably
Speaker 2 fifteen thousand more a year so it's low risk do you want to do it or do you not want to do it what's your heart want to do
Speaker 3 um
Speaker 2 got to give me an answer for the higher go for the higher the higher pay but i would i'm for it i think it's low risk I'd like to see you try it, Bear.
Speaker 2
We know we can fall back on a very well-paying job with a highly sought-after skill. I like it.
No risk there, little risk. So go for it.
Speaker 4 If you're single, if you eat your home for a little bit, that's okay. And then if you hate it.
Speaker 2 That's exactly right. All right, real quick, what's your anonymous name? I got mine.
Speaker 4 Oh, I'm going Lillian. I went with the nature theme.
Speaker 2
I thought about animals, Kamado, koala. kangaroo.
None of that worked.
Speaker 1
Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired? You can take control of your money and your relationships. And it starts with just one night.
Join me and Dr.
Speaker 1 John Deloney live in a city near you on the Money and Relationships Tour. We're covering the real life stuff that matters so you can break the cycles that have left you stuck.
Speaker 1 It's coming up fast, so get your tickets for Louisville, Durham, Atlanta, Phoenix, Fort Worth, or Kansas City at ramseysolutions.com slash tour today.
Speaker 2 Lillian, huh? That's the anonymous name.
Speaker 4 Going flower.
Speaker 2 Where does that come from?
Speaker 4
Well, it's my grandmother's name. Oh.
And I went nature. Okay.
I thought bear. You think Lillian?
Speaker 2 What is nature?
Speaker 4 Lillian, a lily.
Speaker 2 Oh, I see.
Speaker 4 But it's an extra little
Speaker 2 just a little extra. A little something.
Speaker 4 Okay.
Speaker 2 Let's go to Deborah in Santa Barbara. Deborah, how can we help today?
Speaker 3
Hi, guys. I need some advice.
I'm in trouble.
Speaker 2
Oh, no. You sound like you're in the corner.
You remember, like, when we were kids, your parents sent you to the corner? Sound like you might be in the corner, Deborah. Let's go.
Speaker 2 No shame in your game. What's going on?
Speaker 3 Yeah, definitely on the cusp.
Speaker 2 Okay.
Speaker 3
I have two houses. Okay.
One I was renting out. The renter went away, totally
Speaker 3 trashed the place, left the place broken, haven't fixed it, had a lousy, lousy, horrible, horrible 2024 year.
Speaker 3 And it's left me with $70,000 worth of credit card debt.
Speaker 2 Because of the house or because of other things?
Speaker 3
The house, trying to get people to help, get it repaired, that kind of thing. It's still sitting not repaired.
It's been eight months. So I've lost that income.
Speaker 3
And then my income went down from five days a week to three days a week. So that also hit me.
Plus I had like knee surgery. I have kids living with me.
I have grandchildren living with me.
Speaker 3 And honestly, the money I have now,
Speaker 3
I can't make the bills every month. And so I've been putting my utilities on the credit card and that kind of thing.
And this is over a year, and it's all added up. And
Speaker 2 here I am. All right.
Speaker 4 Let's talk about this house, Deborah.
Speaker 2 The rental.
Speaker 4 How much do you owe on it?
Speaker 3 On the rental, I owe zero.
Speaker 4 Oh, it's paid for.
Speaker 3 It's paid for. I inherited from my father.
Speaker 4 Oh, wow.
Speaker 3
I figured when I'm 65, I'd move there and retire. And there you go.
Have no mortgage. Meanwhile, my other little home, which is condo, I owe about $114,000 on.
Speaker 4 Okay.
Speaker 3 And that's the one I'm currently living in.
Speaker 4 Okay. How much is the is the house that your dad left you? How much is that worth?
Speaker 3 Oh, uh, probably about six hundred and fifty thousand.
Speaker 2 Okay.
Speaker 4 How much is the condo worth?
Speaker 3 Probably about four hundred thousand.
Speaker 4 Okay. And where do you want to be long term, the condo or the home?
Speaker 3 Well, in the home, because condo's upstairs kind of thing.
Speaker 2 Okay. You know? Yep, for sure.
Speaker 3 I like where I live, but like I said, I've got grown children living with me. We're talking 30s, 30s.
Speaker 2 Why are they fired?
Speaker 4 Why are they living with you?
Speaker 3 Because they've got no place else to live.
Speaker 3
One injured his back. He's got like a 10 vertebrae fusion.
He's looking to get on SSI. He hasn't worked in a couple of years.
Speaker 3 And then the other one, he's got three kids, 12-year-old, a 10-year-old, and a 7-year-old. And believe me, we don't have room.
Speaker 3 You know, I've got people sleeping on the couch, you know.
Speaker 3
But I've been paying all the bills, and I've asked for help. They don't help.
One of them can't. He just doesn't even have a job anymore.
The one that does work construction.
Speaker 3 He does have income, but he doesn't contribute. And he doesn't want to help do the repairs.
Speaker 3 that that was part of the thing is he was supposed to repair the the one house the rental house and he's been
Speaker 3 i i guess he's been baloney giving me a bunch of baloney for months on end here yeah these are sons
Speaker 3 these are my sons my blood sons yeah
Speaker 4 yeah it's heartbreaking i mean it's it's a it's a mess the boundaries here are completely um yeah intertwined and it's not working for you deborah and so you're not able to help people when you're drowning and you're drowning you're putting your utilities on credit cards.
Speaker 4 You can't afford this life anymore. So
Speaker 4 they need to leave. I mean, like, like
Speaker 4
there has to be a conversation of, I can't support you, nor should I. They are grown adults and, and you need to give them a runway, Deborah, 30, 60 days.
And because you can't afford it.
Speaker 4 Like, you guys, you can't afford this situation. And so,
Speaker 4 um,
Speaker 4 so what I would do, do you want to be in the, would you want to be in the house? I mean, I would sell the condo, go move in the debt-free house. You know, you have 200,000.
Speaker 4 And then you have $275,000, pay off the credit cards, you have $200,000, and now you get to live your life.
Speaker 2 Like, this is an immediate turnaround, Deborah, and it makes the most sense.
Speaker 3 Yeah, and that would be the rest of my income for the rest of my life. I am 62 right now.
Speaker 2 What do you have in retirement?
Speaker 3 Yeah, about 6,000.
Speaker 4 Okay.
Speaker 4 So, yeah, so you're going to have to up your income. You are going to have to work longer um but you'll have that 200 grand
Speaker 2 and that's not gonna be enough probably for retirement long term so you are gonna have to be working some more but this will this will fix a lot of this mess right now yeah that's that's what i'm i'm trying to figure out yeah so that's i'm literally having to borrow money even to pay the minimums right now yeah and that's from other people yep yep um well there's nothing to figure out i mean i want you to understand that you have one clear option here and it's the option we just gave you.
Speaker 2 And this is going to get you out of this desperate situation, this wacky situation, quite frankly. It's not desperate, it's just wacky, and set you up for the future.
Speaker 2 Now, you're right, but you at least got a $200,000 head start, and you're going to have to work and you're going to sock away as much money as possible.
Speaker 2 We'd love to see you get a Smart Investor Pro if you do not have one.
Speaker 2 And let's map out what we need to do over the next five to seven to eight to maybe 10 years to make sure that you have more margin as you age.
Speaker 2 but at least you got a paid-for home that is also a tremendous asset for you as well
Speaker 3 yeah no it's a blessing and I know it is but you know and what about my grandkids though what about make my grandkids homeless it's not your problem
Speaker 2 I know that sounds heartless it shouldn't but I feel like it does but that's not your problem you've got those are grown men they need to step up and take care of business
Speaker 3 no I agree on that and I don't feel like I'm doing them any favors because I take care of too much. And I've tried to back off of that, too, because I don't care.
Speaker 2
Well, but that's the answer to your question. They don't care.
But you just answered your own question, by the way, more effectively than I did.
Speaker 2 Your little speech you just gave is the speech you need to remind yourself when you say, What about my grandkids? I don't want to be this big, mean grandmother that kicks them out on the street.
Speaker 2
That's not what you're doing, number one. But number two, you need to remind yourself of that speech you just gave.
It was a great speech.
Speaker 3 I'm trying.
Speaker 4 And
Speaker 4 And the dad of the three kids has a job, correct?
Speaker 3 Well, he does construction. So he works here and there.
Speaker 4 So, so, Deborah, you've said
Speaker 2 whenever he wants.
Speaker 4 So, okay, yeah, he can work whenever he wants. And this isn't, I'm being a little harsh on you, Deborah, because you've allowed it, right? He's he's he's living the best life.
Speaker 4
Yeah, everything's paid for. He works when he can.
He doesn't pay bills. He pays, he does nothing.
Speaker 2
This guy's literally the character in Wedding Crashers. Ma, me, Loaf.
I mean, he yells and you come running, you know? Might as well give him a little silver bell
Speaker 3 on
Speaker 3
the big things. And the thing is, he actually made more than I did last year.
And he still can't help me with the utilities or nothing like that. And I'm begging him.
Speaker 2 I'm begging him.
Speaker 2 He's a yeah. Well, that that's where
Speaker 4
that's a boundary, Deborah. You have to set for yourself.
You've asked. You can't control what he's doing.
And so now you have to control what Deborah can control.
Speaker 4 And you have to set yourself up in the next, what Ken just said, the next eight years to allow you to win. Because at the end of the day, they're not helping you, right?
Speaker 4 It's not like you're falling back on them.
Speaker 2
He can't help you with utilities. You can't help him anymore, period.
It's a grown man.
Speaker 2 I'm telling you, I wish I could have a chat with this guy.
Speaker 1 I really do.
Speaker 2
This is embarrassing. He ought to be embarrassed how he's treating his mother.
Now, I understand I'm talking about your baby. I get that.
Speaker 2 But you called and you're looking for advice and your heart is literally getting you in trouble.
Speaker 3
I know it. I know it.
And like I said, I depended on him to help me like, you know, with the repairs on the rental house.
Speaker 2 So Deborah's.
Speaker 2 We're shooting ourselves in the foot.
Speaker 2 I know. We've discussed that.
Speaker 4 So tonight, Deborah,
Speaker 4 you need to sit them down and you need to let them know, hey, in the next 60 days, I'm putting the condo up for sale. I can't afford this anymore.
Speaker 4 And I'm going to have to make some hard calls because I have nothing in retirement and I'm going to have to do what's best for me in this situation.
Speaker 4 And so that is selling the condo, moving to the home, doing some repairs in between.
Speaker 4 It's not going to probably be perfect when you move in, but at least you'll have a mortgage payment or a rent payment. So,
Speaker 4
gosh, Deborah, I'm sorry, but that's what I would do. Cut up the credit cards.
Don't keep going down that mess. That's getting you more and more.
Speaker 4 And when you don't have the temptation of the credit card, then your feet are to the fire and that's really going to to force you to make some hard decisions, which is good. You need some of that.
Speaker 2 You ought not to treat your mama that way.