Cut Debt out of Your Life! (Literally)

Hey guys, Dave Ramsey here.

Me and Dr.

John Deloney are coming to a city near you on the Money and Relationships Tour.

It's happening soon, so don't wait.

Get your tickets at ramseysolutions.com slash tour.

From Ramsey Network, this is the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create amazing relationships.

I'm George Campbell, joined by my friend Dr.

John Deloney, number one best-selling author, and we're here to help you take the right next step for your life and your money.

Give us a call at 888-825-5225.

Sarah's up first in Dallas, Texas.

How can we help, Sarah?

Hi, how are you?

We're doing great.

What's going on?

Great.

Well,

so I am

married, possibly separated from my spouse.

I stay at home, and he is a breadwinner.

I've raised our children.

And I am not allowed to see any of our financial information, bank accounts, credit cards, passwords, nothing like that.

Yikes.

What do you mean you're not allowed?

I know.

He just says that's how I was raised.

I make the money.

And he does have a lot of, he does very well.

I don't care if he makes a dollar or a million.

It has no bearing on your involvement in knowing what's going on financially in the family.

I know.

And he just says, I won't, he owns commercial real estate.

And so he tells me it's too much for you to handle.

Day in your life.

So we call that financial infidelity.

That's what I've told him.

And he just shakes his head at me.

My therapist has said the same thing.

And he he just says, that's how I am.

That's how my parents were, and I'm not changing.

All right, then here's the thing.

Most people don't get that clear of a response.

Now you have a choice to make.

And I wish it wasn't this complicated.

I mean, I wish it wasn't this simple, but it truly is.

He told you he's not changing.

Yeah.

And by the way,

if you file for divorce and they do a forensic

investigation into his, all of his slash y'alls, because you're from Texas, y'all's money,

it's all going to be put on the table.

So he can be a grown-up adult and be an actual married man who loves and honors his wife and his kids and

share the family finances together.

Or he can put it all on the table with the help of an attorney and a forensic accountant that he's going to pay for.

So this is what has happened is we, this is very different from what I've been told, is we did come up with a post-nuptial agreement about two years ago.

And in his mind, it was: if we separate, you will get this amount of money.

Now stop talking about it.

Stop questioning me.

And so he says that if I go and investigate with this

forensic accountant, that he will take that money away and he will try to take my children more.

Yeah, hon.

You need to go talk to somebody today.

I've spoken to an attorney, and what they've said to me is, this is quite a good

postnumptial agreement.

I would be very comfortable, honestly, for the rest of my life.

He has a lot of money in cryptocurrency that I know he's hiding.

And I know that's really tough to investigate.

I don't understand what you're asking.

If you have an exit strategy that's going to take care of you for the rest of your life and take care of you and your kids,

I don't know what you're asking.

So, should I just take the post-nuptial agreement and let I can't give you that?

That's between you and your lawyer.

I can't, I mean, I'm not looking at it.

I don't have it.

I don't know what you're dealing with at home.

I just know you're in a very abusive situation and it's hard to see the forest from the trees.

And I'm telling you that you're worth more than the life you're living right now.

And everybody thinks he's the sweetest guy.

It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter.

Doesn't matter.

Doesn't matter.

I also have a disability that I'm unable to work.

So I'm just real fearful that

I don't know.

Listen, what you're doing is you have a lot of what-ifs and a lot of, oh, this is and that's.

And then in 10 years and in 15 years, I want you to go sit down with an attorney.

Not him haw and don't send the post up to a friend of yours who happens to have a law degree.

Hire a lawyer and go sit down and talk and say, I need to know

what rights I have.

Here's my disability.

Here's my situation with my kids.

I know my husband's hiding money.

Here's the postnop.

And the attorney's job, because you're hiring them, is to advocate for you.

And sometimes their advocate, like them being an advocate, is, hey, this is the best deal I've ever seen on paper.

Take it and run.

Sometimes they say, we're going to dig in and we're going to burn everything to the ground.

Because this is a terrible deal.

But that's their job is to fight for you.

You think they can find cryptocurrency?

Because I know that's so shady.

It's such a weird thing.

Dude, you're like, you're, you're, you're stepping over $100 bills to pick up nickels right now.

Like you're worried about the, the, how, the, the, the thread count on the beach towel you're going to wrap yourself up with if you swim to shore.

Like, let's get to shore first.

What about him hiding?

I know he hides money with his business partners.

They like swap hundreds of thousands of dollars and put it in each other's accounts.

And

like I say,

I mean, what do you want me to tell you?

I don't.

I think this is you starting to realize how angry and resentful you are living this life this whole time while he hid everything.

But the truth is, like John's saying, it has no bearing.

You have your agreement on what it says will happen, and that's what will happen if you take the agreement.

And so he may have hidden money offshore.

I have no idea.

But it doesn't matter.

Right now, this is about you and your kids and your health and your safety.

And if he's got a bunch of, a couple of business partners, and they're all laundering money and being shady and shifty, and they get a knock on the door from a federal investigator or from forensics accountants, and they get served for all of their

last seven years of financial transactions and every electronic transaction they have made, every electronic communication they've made, every email, every text, every signal, every WhatsApp, everything.

And by the the way, it's all discoverable.

Then maybe they pucker up real quick and tell him to change his tune.

But here's the thing.

You won't know any of that just sitting in your house and spinning and spinning and looping and looping and looping.

And that's what you've been doing for a long time, right?

Yeah, about five years now.

Yeah, let's stop.

Let's take action.

Either make peace with this is my life and this is what we get.

And he treats me fine.

I just don't know how the money works.

And maybe he does, I'm confident he doesn't treat you fine because this isn't the behavior of somebody that treats their wife fine.

He thinks he's amazing to me and he does everything else nicely, but that.

And then when I ask him, he gets real defensive.

Okay.

So

here's the deal.

The ball is in your court.

And you wondering about, well, what about this?

And what about this?

What about this?

That's just a way to numb yourself from the reality that you are holding the next move you make.

And if that next move is nothing, then set the ball down.

And just decide.

I'm not going to ask questions about that.

It is what it is, what it is.

Well, we're getting divorced.

I mean, it's happening because he doesn't want to hear me complain about it anymore.

Have you already filed?

Or has he filed on?

No, but he's moved out.

And

that's the next step.

Okay.

If you're going to file, then go hire an attorney.

Do not get a friend who has a buddy who's got a sister who went to law school.

Hire an attorney, a good one in your community, and

someone who will fight and advocate for you.

And they sit down and lay it all out on the table.

Right?

But here's the thing.

For you and for everybody listening, it's the, and I get it, it's fear, it's scary.

And like freeze is one of the ways our bodies like try to keep us safe.

I totally get it.

But there comes a moment when I'm going to stop living like this.

And the only way I can do it, I can't think my way out of this mess.

I got to act.

I got to go do.

Michael Easter wrote a great article recently.

Just go do something.

Right.

And in your case, call an attorney who's ready to go to war for you.

And sometimes in war, they say, hey, we need to retreat.

Let's just take what we got and let's move.

That might be the right case, but you won't know until you make that call.

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Welcome back to the Ramsey Show.

I'm George Campbell here with Dr.

John Deloney, and we're going out to George in New York City.

What's going on, George?

How can we help?

Are you with us?

How's it going?

Good.

How are you?

So I'm calling to ask and get your opinion on how much you should be spending on engagement ring.

I've saved up about $20,000 to $25,000.

God almighty, that's too much.

Think so?

You must really love her.

Are you loaded?

I make around $200,000 a year.

I'm 29 years old.

I have no doubt.

Wow, way to go.

All right.

Well, I'll tell you the general parameter, and it's, you know, my hot take is spend as little as possible that will still make her feel loved.

I don't, there's no data that shows that a nicer ring bodes for a better marriage.

In fact, there's the data shows the opposite.

But generally, at Ramsey, we would say, hey, one month's salary is plenty,

which is a a little bit, you've saved even more than that.

So are you making, what, $15,000 a month?

Yeah, roughly.

Okay.

So I'd set a budget.

If that's $15,000, hey, you do you.

You're debt-free.

You can pay cash, right?

We're not going to debt for this.

And go, here's what I'm going to do.

I'm going to find the nicest ring I can for $15,000.

Is she involved in the wedding in the ring shopping?

Yeah, I mean, she's been loosely involved.

I mean, the big question is also, do I get real

or lab run?

And

the reason I'm calling this or doing this call is I'm not supposed to think what others think, but I'd definitely be going against the grain with people in my circle not getting

a real diamond.

That being said,

I think she means that she said she's okay with the lab-grown, and it doesn't take a fool to put $25,000 in a future value calculation and see that it would be $1 million in 40 years when we're, you know.

Sure, looking at the opportunity cost of this ring.

And the other piece is, you know, you got to pay for an expensive wedding now.

You buy a $25,000 ring.

You got to have a $250,000 wedding to match.

And now we need a million-dollar home

because now we got to keep up a certain lifestyle for the people in our circle.

And you said it.

I don't know why you need a pony.

That sounds like what you need.

But do you see where we're going with this?

There's a piece of this where you have to detach from what your friends think.

And if your friends care that deeply about what kind of ring you got for for the woman in your life, you need better friends.

God, dude, I know.

Yeah, totally.

Where did you get this?

Like,

maybe I'm crazy.

My wife would leave me if I had bought her a $25,000 engagement ring because she would have said, you are not somebody that I can trust to be a good steward of our finances moving forward.

Like, tell me about $25,000 for an engagement ring.

Where did that number come from for you guys?

I mean, it's something that I've came up with.

I have about

$500,000 worth of assets.

Like it's something that I could do and still very comfortably have an emergency fund.

What are your assets?

About

$50,000 in cash or cash equivalents.

And then about $200,000 in like 401k

IRAS funds, and then the rest is like brokerage accounts and mostly ETFs like Voo.

Okay.

You can do what you want, brother.

Are you guys planning on buying a home together one day?

Yeah, absolutely.

And that's obviously something that factors into this decision as well.

It just seems like, why have this?

That's a down payment for some people.

Yeah, 100%.

What has the conversation been like with her?

Because I feel like she may have expectations at this point based on what has been said.

I mean, I I've said like we should seriously consider the lack of an option, and she said

she's, you know, basically hinted that that would be okay.

I just I think it's me internally.

I obviously don't want to disappoint anyone.

Yeah.

What is it a I mean, I'm sorry if I keep pressing.

This is just new territory for me.

Okay.

Why do you feel like you're going to be a disappointment?

No, no, no.

Not a disappointment.

Like,

I love her very much.

I want to give her everything that she deserves, and

I want her to be happy with it.

I also worry about diamond prices are going down significantly.

If I buy this thing, it's not going to, like, not that I'm ever going to sell it, but I would hate to buy it.

And 10 years from now, it's like everyone's buying the lab-grown ones anyway.

Who's going to know if it's lab-grown or moissonite or made of, you know, ring-pop?

Who's going to know other than you two?

Exactly.

I'd go, hey, let's shop.

What kind of rings do you like?

And then we go, okay, hey, that one's out of the budget.

Because I can also imagine,

again, this is just me.

I would not feel comfortable carrying around a $25,000

appendage, a piece of jewelry that I can lose, that I can trip and fall, that I can break, that I can scratch.

Like, I would feel so paranoid all the time.

I would never be comfortable in my own skin.

I'm assuming she doesn't have that challenge?

I mean,

I don't think she would, but obviously I would.

I'd be freaking out.

Yeah, man.

Obviously,

the insurance is another

piece of the puzzle.

Oh, geez.

That's a lot.

It's between you two at this point.

I don't think she's a vain person who wants a $25,000 ring.

Nothing indicates that.

But I do think your friend circle has too much influence in your life and your impending marriage.

And so does your Instagram feed.

I just think you need to get some other perspectives and voices in your life.

But bigger than that, dude, knock your lights out.

You want to buy some expensive jewelry?

You got the cash.

I want to see your cash position improve because this takes half of your cash.

And it's what, 5% of your entire net worth you're going to spend on a ring.

On a ring.

So I want you to have some more cash, which means pull something.

something, but dude, you do you, boo.

Yeah, thanks for the call, George.

There's no easy answer there.

It's largely dependent on the couple.

And again, we're not here to tell you what you can and can't do with your cash, but just two knuckleheads opinions who have been married a good while now.

John's going on.

How many years for you, John?

23, 24, something like that.

A long time.

Long, long time.

I'm at seven, and I can tell you the ring has never come up in conversation.

I can tell you, can I tell you this?

I actually brought it up recently.

I told my wife, hey,

the ring I bought her was when I was a school teacher, and I would like to upgrade it.

That's the word the kids use.

And she said,

I'm going to ask you, please don't do that.

Like, I don't want to deal with it.

I don't want to carry around something fancy.

I love this thing.

It means what it means to me.

And

I'd rather spend our money elsewhere.

And obviously, I married somebody who's practical and pragmatic, but also, yeah,

it became kind of what this last call was about.

I wanted to buy a new ring for me, right?

I want her to look nice, whatever, but I mostly want to buy it so that I can be like, look, I got my wife an upgraded ring and this, you know what I mean?

And that's a different, different ballgame.

Yeah.

I mean, personally, I would just rather spend $5,000 on the ring and go on a really nice honeymoon and cash flow the wedding and have some down payment money.

That feels like a better, you're setting yourself up for a better marriage versus having something flashy to go, he loves me this much.

That's crazy.

That's a tough one.

It's a tough one.

This may be antiquated.

I know we have some recently engaged ladies in the booth right now who may have a differing opinion, but I just think.

Kelly, can you just thumbs up or thumbs down?

Are we crazy?

Are we crazy?

Well, she's the thing.

I know.

She's got that real diamond.

She said she wanted the real thing.

We're talking to the wrong lady.

$20,000, though?

Too much?

No.

There's a limit.

There's a limit emotionally, financially.

And he makes $200,000.

But in New York City, that might be a down payment if you're lucky.

And so just, there's a piece of me where you got to look at the opportunity cost.

And I know life is more than opportunity cost, but we have very clear data that the marriage isn't better because you spent more on the ring.

And so therefore, I go, what's the point of the ring?

What was the original?

Why did we come up with this idea?

Oh, that's right.

It was like De Beers and Kay Jewelers decided you owe you three months' salary on a ring.

That's what you should be spending.

Well, then Jared was out in the back, like smoking a cigarette.

And he's like, wait, wait, wait.

Hold on.

Hold my beer.

One year of your salary.

I don't know what Jared doing, but like, I just gotten out of control.

And then there's a lambda.

I want the real blood diamond, John.

It's a real thing.

It's a symbol that says

now and forever.

I'll be right here till death goes apart.

That's it.

Man.

It's nothing more than that.

That's what it means.

It's not like there's more forever if you get a bigger diamond.

Right.

It's just forever.

Or you love me more or er

$25,000.

Yikes.

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Welcome back to the Ramsey Show.

Hey, check this out.

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Well said.

I'm pumped for this.

I'm lucky I get to just hang out next to Dave as he does this.

So I would pay good money for imagine that, five hours with Dave over two nights.

Would you pay him $199 to sit with Dave and ask him all of your investing questions?

And that's the cool part.

You can actually submit your questions if you're part of the event, email them in.

We'll take them as they come in live.

And it's going to be a really good time.

Dave's going to unpack it with formulas and how he analyzes every investment with real examples from his portfolio.

Well, and he doesn't like it when I say it like this, but he's the reverse of almost anyone I've ever met.

And that is

the only other people I've ever met like him are kind of like professional fighters who are super gentle and kind because they can beat up everybody.

And so they're so kind.

They have nothing to prove.

And so when you meet them and you're like, oh, you're a fighter, like, ah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.

Like it's, they're very dismissive like that.

Dave is like that in on the radio.

He's like, oh, shucks, right?

He's Goodwill hunting.

He's a math savant who pulls these things together and has formulas and equations.

It's when he started doing quadratic algebra and he's like, all right, we're going to go into the board.

And I was like, you lost me, brother.

But he, there's a method to this madness.

And it's not just an angry guy popping off.

It's a guy who's done the math.

And more importantly he's lost it all and even more importantly he's actually done the work to own

hundreds of millions of dollars of real estate he owns it outright

he's not leveraged up to his eyeballs like most people in his situation are and he's able to teach here's why I'm doing what I'm doing and most people are like oh yeah but what all right here you go bluff called here's all the math here's my portfolio here's how and why I do this here's my ratios and it's 199 bucks it's a it's it's a it's a ticket to the the the mind behind the madness.

Well said.

Ramseysolutions.com slash events.

Don't miss Investing Essentials.

It's happening next week.

All right, Maria's in Orlando up next.

You're welcome.

That singing is free.

What's up, Maria?

Hi, guys.

So I just have a quick question.

I am on Baby Step 2, and as of yesterday, I've paid off seven out of my nine credit cards.

Way to go.

Yes, thank you.

I'm so excited.

It's about $25,000, $26,000 that I've already paid off.

Congratulations.

And thank you.

And my question is, when I first started, and this was probably about five months ago, I put them in a drawer in the very, very back in a box to not see them because I was scared of cutting them up.

But now I'm like, okay, they're paid off.

Do I just cut them off and let the banks close them?

Because two of them that I paid off within like the first month, I had not used them.

I just had a balance.

They showed up as closed

about three days ago and I didn't even notice that they were closed.

Do I just,

my plan was to cut them up and call the banks and be like, hey, close my account or do I just cut them up and then just cut them up right now.

Do you have them on you?

I don't.

I'm on my way home.

I'm going to be there like 15 minutes.

Can you promise America that you're going to cut them up and that you're going to DM me a photo of the cut up cards as soon as you do it?

I will.

Okay.

Yes, I promise.

We have proof now that you said you would, and you're a woman of your word.

So yes, cut up the cards.

It has no bearing on the account.

It's just you burning the ships physically saying, I'm done.

I'm done letting my life be run by lenders and the sick games they play to get me into the points and rotating cash back with 25% APR.

You're done with that.

You're too smart and successful to deal with credit cards.

Yes, I definitely agree.

So do I still call the bank and tell them to close the accounts or do I just let them

close all of the accounts

okay

everybody's gonna tell you about this

your credit score is gonna

crash it's gonna go to zero my gosh do you know what we're saying it's all coming down yes they're all gonna tell you that you want to have a fun game it's called guest george's credit score ready to go oh this is fun is it zero yes as close to zero as you can get it's just indeterminable yeah so it's not that i have a bad score it just doesn't exist i disappeared in the eyes of the credit bureaus because i paid off everything closed all the accounts, including the mortgage.

And so when you do that, you'll have no score.

And what you'll find is everyone made up some crazy story about how hard life would be without a credit card and how dangerous you are for using your own money through a debit card and how you'll never be able to rent a car again and buy an airline ticket in a hotel.

And then I just did it and I went, oh, they didn't even bet.

I was hoping to put up more of a fight at the counter.

And they just went, oh, yeah, yeah, debit card's fine.

That's that works.

We'll take your money.

Okay.

All right.

Well, I will be getting home in 15 minutes and taking care of business.

Woo!

And I will DM y'all the pictures.

Perfect.

Can't wait to see you.

Taking care of business.

That was a free.

I feel like we got one win in today, John.

That's good.

I feel great.

I needed that.

All right.

Let's go out to Brian, see if we can help him in Syracuse, New York.

What's going on, Brian?

Hey, guys.

Thanks for your time today.

So my question is about selecting a smart vestor pro.

So I went on your website recently and had quite the candidate pool reach out to me.

So I know they should have the heart of a teacher, that their values should align with my values and goals.

I know the four buckets I should be investing in.

But outside of that, what qualifying questions should I be asking?

And what does that conversation look like?

Great questions here.

So you're in babyset four?

Yeah, four, five, and six.

Yep.

And for some more background, I've been contributing to a 401k for well over a decade, but now it's time for a 529.

And when I went to set it up, it wasn't as clear as those four buckets, you know, the growth, growth and income, aggressive growth international.

So that's where I was like, you know what, maybe I'm a little over my head, or maybe it's time to pay someone to help me manage these because I'm a bit of a tight lad, but if they can help me and it makes life a little easier, that's kind of where I want to go next.

Absolutely.

Well, you're asking great questions.

I'm proud of you for where you're at and reaching out to a pro knowing, hey, I want to know that I'm doing the right thing instead of just hoping and guessing.

And a good financial advisor will actually teach you and help you understand and leave the ball in your court to make the decisions.

And they are truly there as the guide.

You're the hero when it comes to your investing journey.

And so ask them, hey, how do you operate?

What's your investing philosophy?

What kind of services do you offer?

You know, beyond just helping me choose a few funds,

what is this relationship going to be like?

How are we going to communicate?

How often?

How do you get paid?

That's an important one to know.

Can I ask you another

weird question?

Like,

do I want to hang out with you?

Do I want to call you?

Do we vibe?

Do we have some chemistry here?

That's an important part of it.

Yeah.

If you don't like him, don't worry.

Like my SmartBuster Pro,

he was a close friend of mine before.

In fact, I didn't even know he was in the program.

I didn't know he was a part of it.

But he knows me well enough.

We make jokes.

He'll send me an email or a text message and say, hey, you're about to get an email.

Just don't open it because he knows that I overreact and I panic and I get all like, oh.

So like, but that's a level of, like, I want that guy to be, I don't know if I'd be my friend.

I want to keep it a professional relationship, but is it somebody that I like and somebody that I innately trust, right?

I think that's just really important.

They're taking care of an important part of your family's future.

That's it.

Totally.

It's part art, part science.

Do we vibe and do I understand everything laid out here in the relationship?

There you go.

I love it.

Is there anything that I should avoid?

I mean, you want to avoid anyone who's selling you crappy products.

And so if you jump on to ramseysolutions.com and click on trusted pros, I guarantee you they're not going to be pitching you on whole life and annuities for a young guy.

And so that's one thing to look out for.

Are they really just an insurance salesman, you know, wolf in sheep's clothing?

Or are they actually a financial advisor who's licensed to sell me investments, who has

my best interest at heart?

That's the key, man.

Great questions.

Ramseysolutions.com.

Click on Trusted Pros.

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Welcome back to the Ramsey Show.

Our question of the day is brought to you by YReFi.

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Our question comes from Lucia in New Jersey.

What is the question, John?

It's okay.

I was distracted there for a second.

It was a soft toss.

Yeah, it felt like you threw it pretty hard.

The Ramsey show question of the day, Here we go.

Brought to you from Lucia in New Jersey.

My sister is going through a divorce and has to refinance her home to remove her ex-husband from the mortgage.

She asked if I would add her as an authorized user on my credit card, but not to give her a card so she won't be able to use it.

She says it would just help her credit score so that she can get a better rate when she refinances.

I've never done this, so I'm not sure if it will affect my credit score, which is in the 800s.

Do you see any red flags with this plan?

Too many to count.

All I see is all red flags.

No, I would not add her.

This is not going to be a blessing to either of you.

I hate that she's going through this.

It's going to be tough.

But here's the good news.

As her credit score improves, as she makes mortgage payments and stays out of debt and stays on time with all of her payments, her credit score will naturally improve and she can refinance to a better rate down the road.

But I would not add her as an authorized user.

Her credit history will become part of your credit history and affect both of you.

And if you make any poor decisions, God forbid, then that will also affect her negatively.

And so I would say, listen, I love you a lot.

I cannot bring you into my financial world and tether you to it.

There's risk for both of us, and I'm not comfortable doing that.

And let me just put this out there.

I know this is, it's one of those things where

you say something like this, and those who don't need to hear it take it to heart, and those who do need to hear it won't hear you anyway.

If you need help financially from a friend, say, I I need some money.

Like that's the, that's the cleanest, clearest way to say I need some help.

But asking them to co-sign to ask to hear it.

We be an authorized user on a credit card, but you, you keep the card.

You don't like, now you're asking me to be your babysitter, to be your mom, to also be your financial advisor.

And when you need a card and I won't give it to you, then I get to be your punching bag.

Like you are choosing to disrupt the friendship and kind of blow it up.

I'd rather a friend come to me and say, hey, I'm in a pickle.

I need X amount of dollars than to come up with some scheme as to, like, this is how it could work.

It won't affect you, but it'll help me.

It just causes problems down the road.

Yeah.

And the other part of this is you might actually be hurting her by artificially propping her up and keeping her in this house that she really can't afford.

That's right.

The answer might be she needs to sell the house because it's too much for her to take on on her own.

And that's not a fun thing to do, but it might be the truth she needs to hear.

And so you can be a support for her without attaching her to your financial world and dragging each other down.

Great question, though.

Cherokee's up next in Vegas.

What's going on, Cherokee?

Hi.

Hello.

How are you doing?

We're doing well.

How can we help?

So I have a quick

question.

Before I get dig myself into a deep hole,

my boyfriend was diagnosed with brain cancer.

He's been diagnosed.

So he's going, thank you so he's going through radiation

and chemotherapy right now

so I'm the one that's really bringing in money right now and

he was surviving off of unemployment for a while

whenever he went into surgery that stopped around December January into December early January but now I'm getting a little behind on bills I'm behind on my car payment and I'm kind of struggling to get another job because I work

8.30 to 5.30.

And

most people want me to work about two to three days, but at least a day during the week.

And I'm really struggling to find hours that are

overnight.

So I was wondering if you guys had any insight on something I could do.

This is going to be me being really callous, okay?

Okay.

You've got to take care of yourself.

Yeah.

And you have to make sure your four walls, your bills, your heat, your water, your transportation, clothes on your back.

You've got to make sure those things are steady before you have any business jumping in and helping somebody else.

And I know that's hard to hear.

I'm concerned on multiple levels.

So when he got sick, did he not have a job?

Did he have health insurance or anything like that?

And that's not a judgment question.

I know there's millions of Americans stuck there.

He did have a job.

He was going to work.

Everything was fine.

And then right whenever he got the news, he tried to go about it in a holistic way.

But it just, it didn't work out.

So he had to go through the surgery.

And then they kind of just dropped the chemo and radiation on him because he's been through this before, but he didn't have to go through that.

that but since he's older that's the route that they've decided to take so who's paying for this is he insured

yes he is insured under his mom's insurance under his mom's insurance how old is he yeah

he's 26.

so he's only he's insured for until he turns 27 right

well that was um they did drop him from the insurance but um his mom works with um like a private business owner so they were able to get him back on there.

So her boss has him on there because they know the situation that's going on.

Who else is in his community right now other than you?

Does he have family around?

Yeah, he has his.

His mom and dad are still together.

Because you can't be his full-time caretaker through this.

And his full-time

funder.

Here's the thing.

You have no...

This is going to sound awful.

Okay.

I'm just being as direct as I can because I love you.

You have no,

you're dumping money into this situation with, like, you don't know the medical history.

All you know is what he tells you.

You don't know where this thing heads.

I'd much rather see his family circle up and support him and love him through this, and you be the person that you can't, the girlfriend, the one who loves him, the one who's emotional support, exactly.

Financial.

But you are playing all the parts of his life.

And

that's a tough, tough thing for you.

And you can't even pay your own bills.

Yeah,

it is getting me pretty tough.

So

that was my next

kind of what I was thinking along the lines of, because his disability does come in in April, so that will help a lot.

But our release is up in July, and I'm trying to figure out what my next step should be because our apartment is too much,

and I feel like I make an okay amount.

And I'm trying to figure out, I don't know what my next step is.

I think he needs to move back home and get a move

from the family, and you go out on your own.

Yeah.

yeah.

It's just too big for one person who's got to work one to two jobs just to pay the rent on their apartment.

And he can't split bills with you right now.

He's not in a place to do that.

Yeah.

So you've got two people who are leading from a place of weakness, and you can't carry the weight for him.

Yeah, he doesn't need to feel bad.

He's got brain cancer.

He needs to go get well.

And I get that's easy for me to say.

Of course, he's got to feel bad.

Any self-respecting romantic partner would feel bad, but like he needs to heal.

Yeah.

And that's, that's what I told him.

And I think that's why we're kind of like,

you know, well, we don't really know what we could do.

And his parents have like been hoping, but it's kind of being a strain on everybody.

So,

you know, we're in a separate house from his parents.

So I think that's.

You're going to be no help when you get evicted and your car gets repossessed and you can't even go to work.

You're going to create even more problems if you continue this.

Yeah.

So you need to make sure that you're well and he needs to focus on him and get his family involved and you can be a a supportive girlfriend on the sidelines.

But I would not intermingle our finances at all.

What's his medical prognosis?

He has an astroglycoma, I believe.

Okay.

There's another senior name that he had four years.

He had another one four years ago.

But I think the one that he has now is an astroglycoma.

So it's not.

What's the prognosis?

Yeah, that's that's a whole different kind of.

How's it looking?

Cancer.

Have the doctor said anything?

Oh,

they said that he's doing really good,

you know, with the radiation.

It's starting to get to him, but he's almost gone, but he will be on chemo.

But everything is looking up so far.

Okay, that's good news.

Yeah, listen, I honor you for loving him and trying to take care of him.

I love that, love that.

But man, if you go underwater, everybody drowns.

So he needs to go back home with his family.

He's not your husband.

He needs to go back home with his family and get back on his feet there.

And y'all can decide what the long-term relationship is going to be between you two moving forward.

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From Ramsey Network, this is the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create amazing relationships.

I'm George Camill here with Dr.

John Deloney, host of the Dr.

John Deloney Show.

And we're taking your calls at 888-825-5225.

Peyton will kick us off this hour in Atlanta, Georgia.

How can we help, Peyton?

Hey, good to talk to you guys.

How's it going?

Great.

How are you?

Good, good.

So a little bit of background here.

So I'm 27 and over the last few years have begun to come into an inheritance at the same time that my birth family has resurfaced.

It's become

a little bit tricky as a result there just because, you know,

I always knew I was dealt an amazing hand, but

kind of seeing what could have been has been pretty emotionally jarring.

So I'm wondering, you know, number one, you know, what's the responsible way to handle this?

Because I don't think doing nothing is an option.

But at the same time,

I want to make sure that I kind of do justice to my grandfather and my parents who have kind of changed my life and my family's life, putting me in this situation.

So tell me a little bit more.

When you say your birth family,

are you adopted?

Yeah.

Okay.

And so

your adoptive grandfather, he's the one who's leaving you the inheritance?

So I was adopted at birth to a family.

So therefore I consider, you know, my family because I grew up with them.

So that side of the family is where the inheritance is coming from.

Birth family is, you know, found out I was the oldest of a sister who's 19 and pregnant and then two other male siblings and then my birth mom, of course.

Gotcha.

And

how much money are we talking here?

So my grandpa was smart, so he stepped it in around like, you know, metrics like graduation date and, you know, age and a couple of things.

So it's up to $750,000 now.

It'll likely cross over a million in the next few years.

So it's pretty significant.

Tell me why you feel or where the feelings are coming from that you have some sort of allegiance or you owe or you need to put some money on the table for your

your birth siblings.

I think it's you know that that old adage, right?

You know, to to whom much is given, much is expected.

Yeah, that's not that adage doesn't apply here at all.

Not even

that's that's what a guilty person s tells themselves.

Yeah.

Why do you feel guilty?

I mean, I think especially, you know, being the oldest sibling, you know, and kind of seeing, I think my sister, you know, probably has the, you know, the drive to kind of get her life on track.

So it's, it's, you know, wanting to support.

You know, I saw my parents and my grandfather do, you know, good, good things with kind of the situation that they created and put themselves in.

So, you know, I'm kind of navigating.

You know, I know I could make a difference, you know, and, you know, it wouldn't necessarily change my day-to-day.

So it just hasn't seemed reasonable at this point to do nothing.

But then there's also been some stuff initially that

I

tried to give that didn't necessarily go where I wanted it to, in terms of my mom kind of repurposed birth mom, kind of repurposing some of that in a way that was less than ideal and it didn't actually get to my sister.

So, well, that's the thing: you have no control of this money once it's given.

Zero.

And, bro,

you are setting yourself up for

a

catastrophic world of hurt.

I 1,000% agree with you.

I'm just trying to put myself in your shoes.

If I found out I had a whole other family and I got adopted by a family who

was so great and they took me in and they, like you said, I had an amazing life and I won the lottery.

And my other brothers and sisters were adopted out and they did not get the shake that I got.

I would feel a sense of I owe or obligation.

And I need you to hear me say, you don't owe anybody anything.

You can choose to give.

And those are two very different

motivations.

If you think you owe, you are constantly going to be,

it's a bottomless pit.

It's a hole that can never be filled.

If you say, hey,

I won the lottery with my adoptive family.

I got such amazing life and I want to do that for other people.

Then that's when when you can sit down with your sister and very similar to how your grandpa did it, who's very wise.

Hey, sister, when you're ready, I'm going to pay for college tuition, but I'm going to pay directly to the school.

When you're ready, I will cover three years of daycare for your kids so you can get ahead financially, but I'm going to pay directly.

I'm not going to give that money to anybody.

You can love them deeply and support them.

and also recognize that they're terrible money managers.

All three of those those things can be true at the same time.

Yeah.

Here's what I don't want you to do.

I don't want you to give your mom $25,000

when she doesn't have the skills to handle $25,000 because then you're going to end up resenting her and that's not fair to her.

You get what I'm saying?

Yeah.

I haven't thought of it that way, but that does make a lot of sense.

You'll hand her like a live snake.

She'll get bit and then,

you know what I mean?

Like you gave her the snake.

Like,

I wouldn't do that.

And you're going to have to weather people coming out of the woodwork for your money.

You're about to be bank of Peyton once they find out that you're just giving away money like a game show.

And they're going to be coming back.

And Peyton will bail us out.

And how dare you?

And oh, you got this.

You did it last time.

Why not now?

Why are you so stingy now?

I can't believe you don't even remember you're raising.

You don't even remember where you come from, right?

They're not your real family.

You're going to hear all that stuff, dude.

Yeah.

Have they asked for money, or is this just your own survivor's guilt talking?

So that's the thing.

My mom, when she was,

before I found out she was doing things I didn't want with it, she would make up excuses, but my sister has always pushed it away.

You know, she's on her own.

She's got, you know, a newborn, obviously very young.

And that's kind of where, you know, that almost makes you want to give more, right?

Because

she has a similar thing of like, you know, you don't owe me anything.

I just want to have, you know, know, the relationship.

But she's a single mom?

Yeah.

And what needs does she have right now that you feel like you could help with?

The kid has special needs.

So I know that that's like they're below poverty line.

So

it's such a stark contract.

So

is that child care?

What would you exactly help with versus just writing a check?

That's what I was thinking.

A grocery gift card.

What would you want to do?

I think childcare would be the most impactful thing because it would free her up to kind of take the steps necessary to stabilize her life, whether that be education or can she do that living in your birth mom's home?

So they live in a different state than I do currently.

No, no, no.

But can your sister thrive under your mom's roof?

Oh, no.

They have a very toxic relationship.

So maybe offering an apartment like down the street from I don't know how much money you want to put on the table here.

And I don't know what you do for a living.

I'd want you to make sure you invest this thing so you're taking care of yourself and your future family long term.

But I'm with George.

I think you,

if you throw a checkbook at a problem, often everybody loses, right?

It just becomes full of waste and it becomes full of, well, what about this?

And I feel like this.

When you spend money to solve a particular problem,

you get different kind of results.

Yeah.

I will pay for you to move and I will pay for one year of an apartment right down the street from me.

And that's going to cost $25,000.

I'll put that on the table if you want to get out of mom's house.

Now we're talking.

Right?

Yeah.

And that's a finite cost.

And she doesn't have to feel guilty for just being on the take forever.

But it's an actual problem being solved right now.

Yeah.

The more specific you get, the better.

And you can remain in control if you do what John said and go, I'm going to give directly to the need versus just throwing a check at it.

But you're a noble guy.

And

I got nothing but respect for you, man.

Good luck.

You made your decision.

Oh, anybody anything you get to give and that's a totally different spirit

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Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired?

You can take control of your money and your relationships.

And it starts with just one night.

Join me and Dr.

John Deloney live in a city near you on the Money and Relationships Tour.

We're covering the real life stuff that matters so you can break the cycles that have left you stuck.

It's coming up fast, so get your tickets for Louisville, Durham, Atlanta, Phoenix, Fort Worth, or Kansas City at ramseysolutions.com/slash tour today.

Welcome back to the Ramsey Show.

Do not miss the upcoming Money and Relationships tour.

It's Dave Ramsey and Dr.

John Deloney like you have never seen them before.

We're on the road, baby.

Hey, we're bringing the Ramsey Show and the Dr.

John Deloney Show.

We're crashing them together and we're bringing them live.

Unfiltered, unscripted, and packed with wisdom and laughter.

All the stuff you think.

I wonder if that gets, if they edit that out.

The answer is yes.

And that's going to be live.

And that also makes me nervous because there's lots of phones out there.

And the audience, they choose the content of the night before the event.

Yeah, we're talking

about it.

We might do live.

We might do Q and A's.

We might do all kinds of stuff.

But yeah, there's going to be audience participation into how this thing goes.

And so it's going to be a blast.

It's just as off the rails as our shows can get sometimes.

That's going to be the live event with us bringing these the Ramsey show and my show live.

They're headed to a town near you.

Louisville on April 21st, Durham, April 23rd.

Atlanta, April 25th.

Phoenix on May 5th.

Fort Worth, May 7th, and Kansas City on May 9th.

Get your tickets, ramseysolutions.com/slash tour.

And if you're tuning in on YouTube or podcasts, just click the link in the show notes.

Be sure to say hi.

I wish I could go.

They don't invite me.

You know, I'd love to drive out to it.

Maybe me and Rachel will crash in Atlanta.

That would be a blessing.

Show up.

That would be actually fun.

All right.

Skylar is in Fort Worth up next.

What's going on, Skylar?

Hi, how are you guys?

Doing great.

How can we help?

So

back in college, I had made some four choices.

I ended up moving in with my parents and starting over as a single mom.

Well, recently we moved to Texas from California and my parents now that I'm in a better financial situation, my parents want me to put a mother-in-law suite in the back of their property.

And I thought it was a good idea at first until I found you guys.

I'm only in baby step two

and I am having a hard time trying to communicate to my parents that I don't want to go into more debt for so they want you to pay for the building of this in-law suite so that you can live in it?

Yes.

What's it going to cost?

So we've looked at different things.

We were going to go with the container home style, which would be at the end of it, like $170.

We live out in the countryside, so we would have to get septic.

I'd have to get the power line pull.

Why don't you just leave?

Can't you just go live on your own and rent an apartment somewhere?

So

I ended up getting an apartment.

I can't move in until March 19th.

I don't know.

I'm scared to tell my parents

because they think I'm going to put the house on the back because and they want to make a plan to get me to get $20,000 because my dad's initial plan was to have me take out a personal loan for $20,000, not touch it for a year, then use that to put down for the house and then have the house overestimated $20,000 to pay off the financial.

So are they using you as part of their financial schemes?

Sounds like it, yeah.

Okay, you just need to go.

I don't understand.

I mean, you need to say, hey, mom, dad, it's been great.

Thank you so much for letting me crash.

Me and baby are gonna go get our own place.

You said you're in a better place financially.

Can you afford to rent your own place?

Yeah, so the apartment I did find I can't afford it.

Um,

and they just I can't afford the apartment.

I just can't afford child care.

They helped me with child care, and this was a way to get away from the business.

That's what I was wondering.

Are they watching baby all day?

Yeah.

Yeah, so he's five now, so he goes to school, but they watch him in the morning because I leave at 5.30 in the morning.

Sometimes, depending on how the volume is, because I work for,

I deliver mail, I sometimes don't get home till like 8 o'clock.

Are they going to cut you off because of this, Skylar?

I have no idea.

Okay.

Here's what you eat.

I'm terrified because I've made some really bad choices and I'm so scared.

Yeah.

And I don't want to kick you while you're down, but it wasn't smart to sign a lease.

Have you already signed a lease?

No, I did not sign a lease.

Oh, you didn't?

Okay.

Thank God.

All right.

The earlier you learn this, the better off your life is going to be.

That doesn't mean your life's going to be easy and conflict-free, but that means you're going to have this elusive thing that everybody wants and nobody has.

It's called peace, okay?

The only way through these challenging conversations, these hard moments, is right through the middle of it.

Okay.

Most of the time, how old are you?

I'm 28.

28?

Okay.

Most of the time, if this is your first time to actually, I don't say stand up, but actually say, hey, I don't want to do that.

And by the way, you get a pass.

You can say, I can't afford to do this, and I'm not going to do this.

I'm not taking on any more debt.

It's not a matter of you're a millionaire and you have to say, hey, I don't want to do this.

But

I would recommend writing down what you want to say.

And then

having an in-person meeting with your mom and your dad and read it to them.

Okay.

And I want you to stop leading conversations.

The first introduction to me and George was, I made some mistakes when I was a kid.

You've got to stop leading with that.

You're more than that, okay?

Do you believe me?

Yeah.

Okay.

You're more than some college mistakes.

We all made them, right?

And tell me about this little one you have.

Well, he's five.

Is he amazing?

He's like the best.

He is like a carbon copy of me, I swear.

Well, God help everybody.

Just kidding.

Okay, so can we stop calling him a mistake?

Yeah.

Wouldn't have drawn it up that way, and you've been through hell and back, 18 to 19 to 20 to however old you are right now.

But dude, you got a rad little five-year-old.

Okay.

Let's stop leading with there's something wrong with me.

And let's lead with, hey, mom and dad,

I don't want to go into debt and put on an apartment on the back of your house.

I'm so grateful for your hospitality.

If that's the only option, then I'm out.

Yeah.

Have they always been there you?

Yeah.

Okay.

Then I think that's what you lead with.

You guys have always been there for me, and I have to.

I have to stand up on my own, but I still can't do it fully without you.

I still need help.

And if y'all choose to not have child care, I'll figure something out.

But just know I have to stand out on my own.

Okay.

Okay.

And you've got to go through the middle of it.

There's no hack to that, okay?

There's not like a secret.

What are you making delivering mail?

My salary is $65,739.

$65,000 a year

yeah good and you said your hours they they range from five thirty in the morning to eight at night depending yeah so I have to leave the house at five thirty because we leave about twenty minutes away my start time is at six fifteen

um so do you even see your son

for like a few hours on at the end of the day if I get done in time because most of the time I'm usually done about um about four o'clock

but um when the days are really heavy, I don't get done until like close to

eight.

What does child care cost around you if you were to put him in daycare?

I would have to get in Andy because there is no daycare.

Okay.

But soon, this is the temporary problem.

Soon he'll be old enough.

He'll be in school.

This will all be behind us, right?

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, just know this is not forever.

This is a season, and it's going to be hard, and it's going to to be uncomfortable, but you're going to be on the other side, more mature, more independent, standing on your own two feet.

Do you still want to stay living with your parents if they didn't have this backyard idea?

Yeah, I would have.

Okay.

It's just, it's something that I can remember, especially my dad talking about wanting since I was little.

So this is kind of his way to get that.

Because here's the thing.

Sometimes,

and again, I'm overly sentimental.

Sometimes our parents are doing the best they can to love us, and they'll come up with all kind of crazy schemes to try to keep us safe.

And sometimes when we struggle and stumble and fall, when we're 18 or 21 or 23, they look in the mirror and they blame themselves.

And so, you know your dad more than I do, and it's easy for me to sit over here and say, maybe he thinks this is the best way out.

And the greatest gift you could give him is to say, no, no, no, no, no, I'm going to get my own place.

I'm going to start branching out.

And I still love you.

I still need your help.

I still want your influence on my kids' life, but I'm not gonna do this.

I'm not gonna borrow any more money.

I'm tired of being in a hole.

And if he honors that, cool.

If he says, then how dare you?

Then you've got your very clear message that it's time to go.

And maybe rural, you know, wherever you happen to be, rural central Texas isn't the place to be.

And it's easy to talk yourself into a trap that I'll never make more money than this.

It's all I've got.

It's all I'm worth.

And that's not true.

None of those things are true.

Okay.

Hey,

you're not the silliest dumbest mistakes you've ever made you're way way more than that okay

okay thank you appreciate your call can we send her something john yeah let's send her one of your books everything but it building an unanxious life fpu um every dollar what else

i think that'll that's a good start and she'll let us know if she needs anything else we're here for you scars got you scholar hang on the line we'll pick up and get you those resources this is the ramsey show

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Yes, I have George sketchy and never trust them.

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James is up next in Dallas, Texas.

James, welcome to the Ramsey Show.

Hey, guys, thanks.

Really appreciate y'all having me on.

Absolutely.

How can we help you?

So my question is, I'm going to give you a little background.

We, me and my wife, just paid off about $550K in debt.

Yeah, dude.

Whoa.

Congratulations.

Yeah,

thank you.

It actually all worked out really great.

I think God had his hands in there mixing some things up and opening some doors for us.

So we're relocating.

The reason I went to sales, we're relocating to Austin, opened up a Chick-fil-A out there.

We have about 80K left in debt other than our house that we live in currently, and it's about two and a half hours away from Austin where we're relocating to.

My question is, do we sell the house to pay off the remaining mortgage and then the 80K in debt because we have a little bit of equity, or do we continue to rent it out?

Because I feel like we don't have too much longer to go on that mortgage if we kind of just throw money at it once we get there.

What are your thoughts on that?

Well, I'll tell you, regardless of if you have consumer debt, regardless of if you have the mortgage still left on it, I would tell you to sell it.

Okay.

I would not keep it as a rental and live two and a half hours away and be a long-distance landlord.

And the, the easy way to look at this is this way.

If you lived in Austin, would you buy an investment property in Dallas, Texas?

No, no, you wouldn't.

And so I would sell it and be done with it.

And guess what?

It's also going to leapfrog you through the baby steps, get rid of this debt, put you in a stronger place financially, and give you less headache headache and more peace.

Yeah,

that's what we were leaning towards.

We just didn't know, you know, with it being so close, do we be long-distance tenants or is that too much risk to hold?

I don't know if it's too much risk.

You're about to run a Chick-fil-A.

I mean, you manage a thousand employees and all kinds of, I don't think it's the risk thing.

I think it's just

like...

It's the hassle factor.

Yeah, it's just an absurd way to live your life, right?

It's just chaos.

And I would ask for what, right?

Like for what?

Kind of how it's been.

And if you want to buy real estate down the road in the future, you want to pay cash for an investment property near you, go for it.

You'll be able to do that.

What kind of money will you guys be making?

So about 200K.

And that's with my wife and I included.

Awesome.

Are you going to be owner-operator?

No, not currently.

That is the goal.

So two or three years from now, we're going to try to pursue relocating back closer to family where we are now and buying a chick-fled nearby.

Awesome.

I'm thinking that it's looking like we should be able to do that.

Of course, it's not guaranteed.

Yeah, I just didn't know a Chick-fil-A is like, I mean, it is, it's Fort Knox to try to get a Chick-fil-A.

You can't just go buy one up.

Yeah, no, but he's part of the Navy SEALs.

You're part of the gang that gets moved every six months or two years or five years, right?

That opens them up.

They say it's harder to get into a Chick-fil-A than it is to get into Harvard is what they say in the Chick-fil-A world.

I believe it.

Yeah.

I just thought of four jokes that I didn't make, by the way.

I want everyone in America to know I'm reasoning up here.

That's called maturity.

I'm maturing right before your eyes.

But yeah, dude.

And here's the other thing.

Is there a possibility that you rent for a year in Austin before you settle out everything?

Yes, that's our idea.

We're going to go scope up the area, rent,

save up some cash so that we do have enough down payment when we decide if we're going to either stay there or relocate back.

That's kind of up in the air, but renting is our main priority going down there.

Wait, hold on.

So you might go down to Austin for a year, open this place up six months.

And I know you never know how long these deployments are going to be.

It'll definitely be two years minimum.

We have another store opening up about that'll turn us into a multi-restaurant.

The operator will be a multi-restaurant operator, and so I'll be over both of those.

Okay, great.

And we're trying to, it will for sure be there two years.

Three to five is when I will most likely try to apply, depending on how ready we feel.

Yeah, I'd sell the house.

Yeah.

Okay.

Because who, dude,

think about it this way.

That's another presidential election from now.

Who knows, man?

Yes.

Who knows?

Right.

So

I would cross that bridge when we get there.

Absolutely.

It's amazing.

And once you guys are in a better financial spot, be sure to send John and I some sandwiches.

We'd appreciate that.

Yeah, there's this elusive, we've got to get

just, you know, the card I need, James.

You know the card I need.

There's a special card.

I know what it is.

There's a special card.

Hook a brother up.

All right.

Francois is in Los Angeles up next.

How can we help, Francois?

Hey, how's it going?

Great.

What's going on?

Well,

I live here.

Dave will be very happy.

I have zero car payments in the family.

I've never paid for a car except cash.

So everything we own is owned.

If I can't put the cash down, I don't drive it home.

Wonderful.

It's a great way to live.

Yeah, yeah.

So I have a small, very small business compared to some of the guys that call in.

I have a marine repair shop here in San Pedro, California.

I've been open for seven years.

Pretty much started it from scratch.

I'm 50 years old, so I have about 25 years experience.

And the business grew very quickly for the first three, four years.

You know, we're born-again Christians, so we don't rip people off and mess around with their money.

And

I've been renting for the last few years.

Two years ago, we moved into a big property because my landlady sold, and it's literally the only property we could find.

And it has been very hard on us because the rent tripled.

The gross at the time was around $150, and that was just me on my own.

And we have a serious amount of demand.

I went through eight people last year at my shop.

who came in and tried to fit in.

And from drinking problems to just incredibly bad at trying to do the job or just late or not on time,

it's impossible to find skilled, responsible labor.

And I am in a position where we've been verging on bankruptcy the last two years because I've been trying to build the business up and train people who have just turned out to be pretty awful.

So, what is the business making today as it stands with the work that you can take on?

I'm stagnant.

I think I am floating between around $130,000 to $150,000 a year, which is about as much as I can cope with mentally and physically doing this alone.

So you're maxed out on your own at that level.

Turns out, maxed out.

If I had one extra pair of hands, I could probably almost double that.

Okay.

And what's your rent now?

My rent currently is about $5,600.

Yeah, it's high.

I mean, I have literally...

So initially when we moved in, the property was about three, four times the size of my previous.

And I thought, okay, there's always a demand for storage, so we'll try storage.

And that literally did not happen.

I don't know why.

Then I tried boat rentals.

We invested in some boats to get into the boat rental thing, and it's just been very slow.

I'm currently sitting here with about $100,000, $120,000 worth of inventory that we've been trying to sell, but the economy has just been so, so poor.

So we're asset poor.

The rent's been killing me.

It's been very hard to find qualified, not even, I don't care about certification.

I just need someone that can A, pitch up on time and do the job to get away.

Just a warm body at this point would do.

Hey, Francois,

what was your take-home pay last year?

Oh, I don't even want to know.

I did my tax return for 2023, which was the worst.

And I'm not going to lie, it was $11,000.

Okay.

Don't lie, dude.

There's no shame here.

We're just

three dudes just sitting around having nachos.

So, after all expenses, you are making like $5 an hour.

Somewhere around there, yeah.

It was brutal.

Brutal.

Can you sell this thing and go get a job?

Job?

You're killing yourself, dude.

You're dying.

I know, I know, I know.

And I know this is a dream, and I know

you have to grieve it, and you have to be sad about it, but dude, you are dying.

I've thought about it.

I've

contacted some brokers because we only have five-star reviews.

Let me just put it this way.

I'm one of two shops in this town.

The other shop, the guy is a total crook.

But listen, Francois, this is not an indictment of you or your character or your business.

You're a good guy.

I get it.

You're a good man.

It didn't work.

It's not working.

And your soul, like you having a stroke for $11,000.

If it's $11 million, I might trade my brain for $11 million.

Well, that was, the thing is, like, the last year, I probably did better than that.

Well, but even $10,000 or $25,000, that's still half of what you can go make at Starbucks.

You know what I mean?

Between the California tax and the soul tax, you need to get out of this thing.

Yeah, just get out and exhale, get a fresh start, and then go do something that's going to bring your family some income, but also some peace, man.

And you got 25 years' experience.

I think anyone would be lucky to have you.

And so I'd be looking around your industry to see who's hiring and what value you could bring to them.

This is the Ramsey Show.

Let's play a game.

Raise your hand if you've already filed your tax return.

Ready?

Go.

Okay, I can't actually see any of you, but I can feel it in my bones that not enough of you are raising your hands.

Y'all need to get on over to Ramsey Smart Tax and file your dang taxes.

Ramsey Smart Tax is a 100% accurate tax software that won't pilfer your wallet or surprise you with garbage-hidden fees.

Plus, it's powered by Taxlayer who's been trusted in this industry for more than 50 years.

Go to ramseysolutions.com slash Smart Tax and file with tax software you can trust.

That's Ramseysolutions.com/slash smart tax.

Welcome back to the Ramsey Show.

Reminder that this is the last segment for this hour, unless you jump over to the Ramsey Network app.

It's the only place to get full episodes of the Ramsey Show.

You can download it for free using the link in the show notes or just search Ramsey Network in your app store.

And if you're on radio, stay tuned.

The show will continue as promised.

Well, John, sometimes on the show, we don't know if the callers actually follow through with what we told them to do or what they said they were going to do.

And so we had a caller earlier named Maria who was asking, hey, should I cut up my credit cards?

I'm working on paying off these debts.

I got most of them paid off.

Is it going to affect me if I cut them up?

We said, no, go ahead and cut them up.

Do it now.

She said, well, I'm on my way home.

I don't have the cards with me, but I will.

And I said, promise, send me a DM with a video of you cutting them up.

And she delivered it.

She slid into George's DMs headfirst.

That's the kind of DM I want to see.

Just cut up credit cards.

So here we go.

We have the clip that she sent in.

Let's play it if you're watching.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, beautiful.

The capital.

One Amex.

This is what I want to see.

American.

There was like seven cards.

Can we play that again?

I think there's like seven or eight cards in this pile.

There's a huge pile.

Remember, she said she had nine or something like that?

Oh, my goodness.

That's so beautiful.

There's no site more beautiful than just a pile of credit cards.

There you go.

That represents freedom.

You're breaking free from broke.

You're bucking the system.

We love to see it.

So thank you for that, Maria.

All right, switching gears, John.

One of the top things that you talk about is

wills and insurance.

I do talk about wills a lot.

And that's just off air, just behind the scenes.

I'm paranoid about insurance, and I just can't wrap my head around people who don't have a will, which is 70-something percent of Americans, which is staggering to me.

And so I want to cover some top myths about wills and insurance real quick, just to clear the air, help people understand the importance of this, and it is crucial for effective estate planning.

And know you will not die sooner by talking about this stuff.

I'm going to be your hype man.

And

I always wanted one of those.

On the background, some of these are.

If I was a rapper, you'd be on stage with me, hyping me up.

You'd be like, who's that guy?

That'll be me.

Myth number one, young or single individuals don't need a will.

Here's the reality.

Regardless of age or marital status, if you're an adult with any assets at all, a bank account, property, a pet, a will ensures that your wishes are honored after your passing.

That's all it does.

Without a will, it's a mess.

The distribution of your belongings is determined by the state, aka the government, which

may not align with your preferences.

They're not great at divvying this stuff out, dealing with it in a timely manner.

So if you want it done the way you want it done, get a will in place.

It's super easy to do.

Myth number two, creating a will is super expensive.

Reality, attorney fees for drafting a will can range from 300 bucks to 1,000 bucks.

And there's way more affordable options now with online services like Mama Bear Legal Forms.

They've been a great partner with us at Who High I Have My Will through.

And they offer legit wills that are done by lawyers at a fraction of the cost.

Another myth, John, identity theft isn't a significant concern.

Identity theft is a crime, according to Dwight Schruz.

According to Dwight Shruze.

Yeah, it's a growing issue.

Get this.

In 2023 alone, 15 million Americans experienced identity theft, and that resulted in a total loss of $23 billion.

That's a 13% increase from the previous year.

And I think that number is going to keep going up over time as we deal with more digital life, the digital world with crypto and AI.

And you have your info and 19 more accounts.

And so you got to get identity theft protection.

And that's the next myth.

People think that's unaffordable.

Individual plans typically cost between 10 bucks and 40 bucks a month.

Family plans range from 13 to 60 bucks monthly.

Listen, your subscriptions add up to more than what it would cost to get this protection.

So get that in place.

And finally, the last myth, if you can rebuild your home with cash, homeowners insurance isn't necessary.

Yikes.

Even if you have sufficient savings to rebuild after a disaster, which by the way, 99.9% of people don't, purchasing homeowners insurance is very wise.

It's going to protect your savings.

It mitigates financial risk, allows you to preserve wealth for other purposes.

Dave Ramsey has homeowners insurance on his property and every single investment property he owns because

for the price you pay for that premium, it is totally worth the insurance company taking that risk instead of you.

So there you go.

If you're unsure you have the right protection in place, we have a free coverage checkup that makes this super easy.

Go to ramseysolutions.com slash checkup or click the the link in the show notes if you're listening on podcast or to YouTube.

Well worth your while to get that coverage checkup, ramseysolutions.com slash checkup.

And dude, I always feel like, especially when you and I are on together, George,

the Instagram, YouTube-y, influencer-y world is so full of

people who are just not telling the truth.

Sheisters,

just liars, just complete liars.

So here's the deal.

Just for people at home, George and I both have a will.

We both have identity theft protection and we both have homeowners insurance

because we're not insane let me say it that way I don't like I just I can't this is stuff that we do in our own homes so we're not trying to sell you something we're just telling you dude this gives us peace for our wives and for our kids and God bless you get a will people and get identity theft protection and please please cover your biggest asset with homeowners insurance beautifully said ramseysolutions.com slash checkup is the place to go.

Get it done.

Do not delay.

Jenna is up next in Rockford, Illinois.

What's going on, Jenna?

Hi, thanks for taking my call.

Sure.

So my husband and I, we paid off our mortgage at the end of the year.

Yeah.

And then a week later, he found out he was getting laid off.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Good timing, I guess.

Yeah, can we?

Can we cheer for a second?

Yeah, we can cheer.

Yes, absolutely.

I I mean, it's heartbreaking, and so we'll weep with you, but we'll also cheer.

You don't have a house payment.

Yeah.

So he will be working until June.

That was so disingenuous.

Okay, I'm sorry.

I'm talking over you.

Go ahead.

No, that's okay.

So he'll be working until June, and then he'll be done.

So we have been job hunting, and that's a fun area to get into again.

But we have a 401 and an HS in HSA that we're maxing out.

And I'm wondering, should we pull back on that and start kind of saving up some more money on the side?

We do have a six-month emergency fund fully funded.

We also have like a family vacation we were hoping to go on in the fall.

But should these things be like, should we just stop doing that?

Should we pull back?

I would say you don't need to pause investing right now.

You have a six-month emergency fund.

And then if you have vacation funds, other sinking funds that are for more fun stuff, I would just hold on that until we know that he has stable income beyond June.

Okay.

And then once he has that job lined up and he gets that paycheck, let's push play.

Let's restart the sinking funds.

Let's take the vacation.

But for right now, I don't think it's not an emergency situation where you need to just pause everything you're doing, don't invest a dime, and just stack up cash.

Because you have a six-month runway beyond June where your expenses are going to be covered, plus the vacation funds.

Okay.

So do we just kind of keep living normally as if he's going to get a job and that we love

it?

I would not be, you know, living

luxuriously during this time.

I would look at the budget and say, we're going to live on a bare bones budget.

We're going to keep investing, but we're going to cut things where we can.

We're not going to eat out as much.

We're going to just live like we know this job is going to end because it will.

And I hope that by June he's got something lined up.

That's some pretty incredible runway you guys have.

Like this is there's a lot of blessings here that you guys are in the financial spot you're in.

That the job wasn't an immediate loss, that he's getting paid through June, right?

Yeah, yeah.

And on top of it, we're hoping for a severance.

And

so we're hopeful and we're so, so thankful for this opportunity.

Yeah, we just

kind of in this.

He's in IT.

So

surely he'll be able to find something.

It's a little bit dry out there right now.

We've been looking.

We have a few headhunters that have been helping us, but it's been

almost two months of looking, and it's been a little bit scary to see that there's not as much out there as we thought there was.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Can I ask a question of George, Jenna, on your behalf?

Yeah.

All right, George, for those of us who run a little bit hotter when it comes to being anxious,

what are your thoughts about taking the money I was putting in my 401 and my HSA and maybe just socking it away in a high yield savings account until this thing clears?

And then once I can make a lump contribution, if we find another job in five months, but again, I don't know how much money that's actually going to be practically, but if it ends up being the $25,000 or $30,000 that I would have invested out and I've got it and I have to have it.

Is that bad form?

No, it's not bad form.

The HSA you could do that with the 401k, you're not going to be able to just lump some back in because it has to come from those paychecks each time.

So you could ratchet up your 401k investing to make up for it.

So if you wanted to take down the HSA for now, you could do that.

And again, there's going to be severance.

They have the vacation money on top of the six months.

That probably is looking like closer to 12 months.

That's fair.

I feel pretty good about it, especially the fact they have no mortgage payment.

So that's where I'm like, they have more wiggle room than they think now.

There you go.

That puts this hour of the Ramsey show in the books.

Yeah, you weren't talking.