Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities

Speaker 1 Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, this is the Ramsey Show. It's where we help you win in your life, very specifically in your money, in your work, and in your relationships.

Speaker 1 Triple 8-825-5225 is the number. Triple 8-825-5225.
Hey, we'd love to hear from you. Always fun to be sitting alongside my good pal, my friend.
I don't know if you can call a lady a pal, but I just

Speaker 1 my old pal, Rachel Cruz. Pal.
Known each other forever.

Speaker 1 And we love, love taking your questions. So let's have some fun.
Let's get some hope established for you so you can move forward. Let's start off in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, the city of Rachel.

Speaker 1 Brotherly love. There it is.
She used to make fun of me. Now I think you've been paying attention to my little quotes.
That's it.

Speaker 1 You're so happy about it. Melanie, how can we help?

Speaker 2 Hey, guys, thank you so much for taking my call. I'm excited to talk to you both.

Speaker 1 Well, we're excited to talk to you. What's happening?

Speaker 2 Awesome. So I'm in a little bit of a professional conundrum.

Speaker 1 So I love a conundrum.

Speaker 1 Great word. Great word.

Speaker 2 I'm currently working two full-time remote jobs.

Speaker 2 That has been great for my family,

Speaker 2 kids in school and all that. I've been fortunate to find two remote jobs.

Speaker 1 Hold on a second.

Speaker 1 Hold on. Yes.
This is fascinating. I got to know.
Do both. companies know about the other

Speaker 1 of course not so you are a professional polygamist

Speaker 1 Are you aware of this? Can we say

Speaker 1 they're in two different ways?

Speaker 4 Melanie, I am so sorry that you have to deal with him.

Speaker 1 No, she's not offended. She's not offended at all.

Speaker 2 I expect Ken to give me a hard time.

Speaker 1 Alyssa, not even doing that. I just wanted to say professional polygamist because

Speaker 1 you've got sister wives. You've got two companies that you're working full-time for and they don't know about the other.
And I'm not even trying.

Speaker 4 Sister wives know about each other.

Speaker 1 That is fair. You get my point.
It's a fun little metaphor. How are you pulling this off? How long have you pulled this off?

Speaker 2 I've been doing it now for a year.

Speaker 4 Are you exhausted? And

Speaker 1 huh? Are you tired?

Speaker 2 I'm a little tired.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I'm not going to lie.

Speaker 1 And two full-time jobs.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And keeping them away from each other.

Speaker 1 It's like having a mistress. It's exhausting.

Speaker 2 It's a lot of great time management.

Speaker 3 That's all I can say.

Speaker 1 You must be incredible. So, what kind of money are you knocking down?

Speaker 2 So, I'm netting $96 a year, $96 a year. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. So, what's your question?

Speaker 2 So, I've just been offered a different job that would cause me to be hybrid, three days in the office and two days working from home with a base pay of 100K

Speaker 2 and with up to a potentially of getting a 20%

Speaker 2 bonus of my base pay.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. And what has kept you from saying yes to that offer?

Speaker 2 Well, because I technically would be netting less.

Speaker 2 I guess, you know, right now my husband and I bring home about 12 a month. And then if I take this, we'd be bringing home about 97.

Speaker 1 Why would the net be less?

Speaker 2 I guess that's not including the bonus, though.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly. And you're not cheating on another company and thus risking getting fired from one or both.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And also, I think professionally, the job that just offered me this position would be a step up for me professionally.

Speaker 1 Great.

Speaker 2 But I just, I just, I don't know. I just, I'm a little nervous about

Speaker 2 giving up to remote jobs and you know, flexibility with the kids because I do have like school-age children at home.

Speaker 5 Let me, let me ask you.

Speaker 1 Melanie, let me ask you a real question. And you've been a great sport because Rachel thinks I'm being mean.
I'm not. I'm not judging you.
I'm just trying to coach you.

Speaker 1 How long do you you think you're going to be able to keep this up and them not find out about it? How long do you think you're going to be? Not very long.

Speaker 2 I mean, honestly, I think this is more just to do the debt snowball for

Speaker 1 my husband and I were at Baby Step 2. I don't think you understand the concept.
Hold on a second, Melanie. I don't think Rachel understands the concept.
She's working two full-time jobs. I hear that.

Speaker 1 It'd be like you being a personality for another company and then not know about it. It's it's it's she knows she can't keep this up because she's going to get found out and then she's fired.

Speaker 4 Yeah, but wouldn't it be like having a part-time job, but you're just doing more hours?

Speaker 2 It's pretty much what it's like because they are in two different fields.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, no, okay. Hold on.
Just for a point of emphasis here, okay, we're not going to get stuck on this, but I got to help my friend Rachel. And Melanie, I'm going to help you.

Speaker 1 Rachel has to help me here.

Speaker 2 No,

Speaker 1 no, she doesn't understand it. Once she understands it, Rachel, listen to me.
Here's what's happening. One company, let's call it ABC, is paying Melanie to work a full-time job.
Yes.

Speaker 1 That's what, 40 hours a week minimum, Melanie? Roughly? Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Company XYZ is also paying Melanie to work 40 hours a week. And Melanie, just tell us, how many hours you work in a week for both companies?

Speaker 2 Eight.

Speaker 1 That's good. No, I didn't see that coming.
She's trying to get me out of technicality. I still think it's, I think

Speaker 1 it's unethical that they don't know about each other.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I can get the secret. Yes.

Speaker 1 And again, not to judge you, Melanie, because there's no judgment. It's more protection.
So we've already covered. How do you get my,

Speaker 4 but in my head, if she's, if she's working both, I get the secrecy, right? But if you're working both full-time.

Speaker 1 Okay, I said, I acknowledge that she kind of had me on a technicality, but it's still dishonest. And we still have an ethical issue that she could get penalized for.

Speaker 4 But with one company. Which all I care about is.
But if ABC company doesn't care that she's also working for XYZ, how do you know?

Speaker 1 Because they don't know.

Speaker 4 No, but what if they're not? Then it's not, then in your book, is it okay?

Speaker 4 If they're okay with it, if they're okay with each other. 100%.
So it's the secrecy that's bothering you, that they don't know about each other.

Speaker 1 It's not bothering me

Speaker 1 in a sense that I think she's a bad. It's just it's risky for Melanie.
Yeah. I'm literally playing defense lawyer for her going, I'm not going to tell you what you did was wrong.

Speaker 1 My job is to help you keep. getting paid and not get fired.
Yes. So now the question is, do I take this other job, which has a bonus above and beyond the 100 base,

Speaker 1 plus a path for growth, Melanie? You said this is a job that's a better play for you long term. Yeah.
Melanie, it's a no-brainer. Yeah, now you're not working 80 hours a week.

Speaker 4 Yeah, now you're not working 80 hours a week.

Speaker 1 And you're not cheating on another company.

Speaker 4 And again, it may be a lifestyle shift because it's a hybrid idea.

Speaker 4 But maybe you get into that and it works and it's great. And you figure out the logistics with the kids and your kids are in school, which is helpful.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Or you pan back a year from now and say, wow, this is hard. So maybe I I go back to LMNO company and you find another job.

Speaker 1 Right. But Melanie, Melanie, you do know I'm on Team Melanie, right? We love you, Melanie.

Speaker 5 I do. But listen.
I love you.

Speaker 2 And I just wanted to make sure that I'm not

Speaker 1 kind of shooting myself in the foot with

Speaker 1 $3,000 less that I'd be making in a month. Yeah, but you're not, but you told us you're not including the bonus in that exercise.

Speaker 1 So you got to put the bonus in, amortize that over 12 months, and then you start looking at the monthly exercise. It's not quite 3,000 because you said 97.

Speaker 4 So it's, yeah.

Speaker 1 So my point is, I think it's all in all, it's not going to be that much of a difference at all in the short term. And we need to

Speaker 1 short term is better if you take this new job.

Speaker 4 And just for your own benefit, so you're not working 80 hours a week, you're working 40.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's true.
Very true. Freeze up a lot.
Thank you so much. I appreciate your voice.
Yeah, Melanie, take the job. Man, you've got to get out of jail free here on this one.
I mean, whoa.

Speaker 1 By the way, this is a new trend. She is not alone.
There are millions of Americans that are professional polygamists. They have two full-time jobs and they don't know about each other.

Speaker 1 And it is cheating. I don't care how you slice it.
I'm all for you getting them paid. But man, you could get fired and I makes me nervous, you know? Oh, man.

Speaker 1 This is the Ramsey Show.

Speaker 4 Welcome back to The Ramsey Show, where we are taking your calls about your money, your career, your relationships, anything and everything. 888-825-5225.

Speaker 4 Up next is Karina in Boise.

Speaker 4 Hey, Karina, welcome to the show.

Speaker 4 Hi, thank you. Yeah, absolutely.
How can we help?

Speaker 2 So last week, me and my fiancé broke up because we couldn't decide on finances.

Speaker 2 And also, more importantly, we couldn't decide on how to inherit our kids. He has two boys and I have one son.
And I have a paid-for house and I make a bit more money than him.

Speaker 2 And he has a house with some equity in it, but he has a roommate on the title and mortgage because I guess they invested together. And then,

Speaker 2 so

Speaker 2 I am Christian, and I know God wants us to put our spouse before our children, but I think in our arguments, I was just having such a hard time. And, you know,

Speaker 2 I haven't been with my fiancé

Speaker 6 for a week.

Speaker 2 But just moving forward with him or without him, I need to figure it out for the next time that this comes about and

Speaker 2 figure out how to deal with it.

Speaker 1 Do you guys share children?

Speaker 1 Are your children from different folks? You share them. What's the situation?

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, he has teen boys with his first wife. Okay.
And I have a son, and I pretty much raised him alone.

Speaker 2 His father was not involved.

Speaker 1 Gotcha. Okay.

Speaker 4 And what was the disagreement about, Karina?

Speaker 2 So I think

Speaker 2 it all started when I mentioned to him that when I moved into my house, which is paid off,

Speaker 2 I wanted to leave this as an inheritance to my son because I think

Speaker 2 I sacrificed a lot of quality time when my son was little

Speaker 2 because I was going to school for engineering and I was single and I was working. So I didn't get to spend that quality time with him.

Speaker 2 And when I finally got that stability, I wanted to give it to him, kind of to make up for what I couldn't do before.

Speaker 2 So it's really emotional for me to talk about finances.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 my ex-fiancé, she wasn't understanding that. And

Speaker 3 to his point, I get it.

Speaker 6 Like,

Speaker 2 your spouse should come first. But in terms of finances, I'm just having a hard time dealing with that.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Did you initiate the breakup or did he?

Speaker 2 It was just kind of

Speaker 2 mutual.

Speaker 2 We just kind of got tired of talking about different scenarios and how we can make it work. And we both argued our points.
Like, I know he wants to protect his children.

Speaker 2 And and I want to protect my son in terms of you know what we have established already

Speaker 2 so

Speaker 1 so what's your question what's your question for us specifically

Speaker 2 like how

Speaker 2 how can

Speaker 2 how do you

Speaker 2 go about finances in a like a second relationship when you already bring in children

Speaker 3 do you

Speaker 2 like

Speaker 4 how old are the kids?

Speaker 2 Disinherit them, or do you just not get married? Yeah. My son is 21.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 And then his kids, he has a 13-year-old and a 15-year-old.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 So, no,

Speaker 1 I'll let Rachel take the bigger crux of the relationship and money.

Speaker 4 She's 21 and he has a 15-year-old?

Speaker 2 No, my son is 21. My fiancé is 14.

Speaker 1 Oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry.

Speaker 4 I thought you meant he has more. He as in your fiancé.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 I apologize. Yeah, I just

Speaker 1 want to point out something that's come up twice in the conversation with us, and I just want to get that out of the way and let Rachel kind of help you on this.

Speaker 1 And I can weigh in on the marriage stuff too. But

Speaker 1 this idea that the Bible says that you value your spouse over your kids, this idea that that means you disinherit your son. No, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 This is all going to fall under the same umbrella that Rachel's going to advise you on on y'all being on the same page.

Speaker 1 And it doesn't matter if the kids are coming in from previous relationships or not. But no, under no scenario are you going to disavow or as you're saying, disinherit your son.

Speaker 1 That's not part of the equation. And if that's part of the conversation, it's not healthy and you did the right thing by walking.

Speaker 4 Yeah. And Karina, for you as a mom,

Speaker 4 Because I can only imagine the sacrifices that you made when he was little, and that's where a lot of this emotion is coming from. And so I feel like

Speaker 4 I I would kind of challenge you to say, you know, this is a symbol. This house is a symbol of your hard work, you feeling guilty, probably a level of mom guilt of leaving your son when he was younger.

Speaker 4 And it's excruciating.

Speaker 1 You know, when I was deleting my kids, I had a four-year-old crying in the garage when I pulled out to come do this show.

Speaker 4 Like it's, it's not, it's not fun. Like it is, it is hard as a mom.

Speaker 4 for those working and that you're like, oh, and so you as a single mom, especially, went through so much, Karina, so much in order to have this. But

Speaker 4 I would just challenge you, not that this would change your decision, but I want you to, if you can, separate this house and what you did for your son and the relationship you have with your son.

Speaker 4 This house has become a symbol.

Speaker 4 And I don't want it to be the make or break. breaking point for you in the future with relationships.
And I understand that it's to protect this for your son.

Speaker 4 But just as a mom, I don't want you to carry carry that burden of still feeling like

Speaker 4 I have to make up for what I did. Because Karina, you did what you had to do.
You were a single mom. And that was the situation you were in.
And so you were not a bad mom for doing this.

Speaker 4 So giving your house a son or not, giving your son a house or not doesn't make you a good or bad mom.

Speaker 4 So I want you to kind of separate that. that language in your head because I feel like that's twisted into this decision.
Does that make sense?

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 4 Because

Speaker 4 I applaud you for

Speaker 4 being so protective of it. Because, again,

Speaker 4 I hear what you walk through with it, so it makes sense. But I also don't want this house to be the symbol of what I did, and I feel bad.
And now I have to make it up to my son.

Speaker 4 Because you know what your son wants, Karina? He wants you.

Speaker 4 And if he wants his mom to be happy, if this man that you love,

Speaker 4 your ex-fiancé, you know, know, if they're, if, if that is a relationship that is good for you and it is healthy, um, and you guys can find the way to reconcile these two things or this thing of the inheritance, which is a big deal, but, but also at the end of the day, like there's a point too of companionship and love in a marriage.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's the question I have, Karina. And pardon me for, I was trying to listen.
Are you guys on the same page with debt and everything else?

Speaker 1 Or is there also some

Speaker 1 separation in the way he sees money and debt and all that stuff? Because you've done everything the right way. Where are you guys on the rest of the stuff? The rest of the money stuff? I mean,

Speaker 2 he's good with money. And

Speaker 2 yeah, he's very smart with money. And I don't think there's an issue there.
I think it's just more about

Speaker 2 combining households.

Speaker 1 Is he on the same page with you?

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 But let me ask you this. Is he on the same page in relation to debt? That's yes or no?

Speaker 1 Yes. Okay.

Speaker 1 Is he also on the same page that when we come together as a married couple, we combine our finances?

Speaker 2 Yes. He is more for that than me.

Speaker 2 He said that we should combine everything.

Speaker 2 And at the end of the day, we just split it up. Like when we both pass away, we just split it up evenly between all our kids.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.
All right.

Speaker 2 So I'm the one that's kind of like selfish because I'm like, I'm bringing in more and he has two kids and I have one kid.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but Rachel's right. I hope you heard Rachel.
I'm telling you, she's right. So I got to tell you, I'm taking a little bit different tack here.
I think you guys need to have a nice dinner.

Speaker 1 And I think you guys need to sit down and get this hashed out and say what really matters. And let's look at the big picture.
And you're going to have to let go of some stuff.

Speaker 1 I love Rachel's advice there.

Speaker 1 I want to see her give this a chance.

Speaker 4 I know.

Speaker 1 Because I feel like this is just about the investment through the investment.

Speaker 4 You You know, and it becomes this thing, and we don't want our stuff to own us. And at that point, it's owning a part of you for good reason.
I understand it, but I want you to have freedom from that.

Speaker 4 And I think it's attached to that mom and Gail Karina that I really want you to think through. So thank you for calling.
I hope that helps. And,

Speaker 4 you know, I hope you guys

Speaker 4 can go the way that you need to go, whether it's together or separate. Thanks for calling.

Speaker 1 Welcome back to the Ramsey Show. Excited to have you with us.
I'm Ken Coleman.

Speaker 1 And the graceful Rachel Cruz is alongside today. Yeah, I know.
I'm trying to look for another adjective.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 how about that? I'll take graceful. I'll take it.
All right, very nice. Hey, today's question of the day is brought to you by YReFi.

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Speaker 4 All right, today's question comes from Elizabeth in Missouri. We have two elementary school age kids, five and seven.
We budget for the kids to buy school. to buy school lunch once a week.

Speaker 4 The school is cashless, so we add money to an account to be used for the kids to scan their ID card in the lunch line. In addition to the regular lunch, the school sells snacks at checkout.

Speaker 4 We have told the kids that they can get lunch, but would have to pay us back from their piggy bank money for any extra treats that they buy.

Speaker 4 Initially, we thought this would be a good intro in teaching them about money management, but then realized that it's more like buying on a credit card and then paying mom and dad back later.

Speaker 4 Are we teaching them that credit is okay with this plan in the cashless system where there's no tangible money to be exchanged?

Speaker 4 How else can we teach young kids about money management? Oh, that's funny.

Speaker 4 No, I don't think that's teaching them about debt. I'm like, they're...

Speaker 1 As long as the pain comes from the piggy bank, they're learning.

Speaker 4 Yes, yes. And the reality is, too, you know, you're teaching them about money management in 2024.

Speaker 1 I mean, there's a lot of

Speaker 4 cashless

Speaker 4 vendors and retailers that it is what it is. So what are you going to do with that with your debit card and all?

Speaker 4 So,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 that doesn't doesn't bother me. That's great.
I think this is great, actually, because treats at school is ground zero for kids learning to kind of be content.

Speaker 1 You're the queen of contentment over there, you know what I mean? Like, you think about it, that's where their greatest temptation.

Speaker 4 Well, this just felt close to home because our school is the exact same way.

Speaker 4 And there's an app, of course, that you go and you can load and use Apple Pay to load the money back in the school lunches, all of it.

Speaker 4 And I didn't know this. This is back when my oldest was, this was a few years ago, when I didn't know how everything worked.

Speaker 4 And one of my friends was like, you know, you can go back and look and see what all they've bought. And I was like, what?

Speaker 1 No. And sure enough.
Tracking little Amelia's spending. And sure enough, there were treats upon treats upon treats.
And I was like, sweet girl. I know.
I just said Amelia.

Speaker 4 And she was like, well, some of my friends wanted some.

Speaker 1 She was buying some for other kids.

Speaker 4 And I was like, no, no.

Speaker 4 So the teachers are great because when they're little like that, like first, second grade, you can email them and even tell the teacher, hey, they're only allowed a treat on Fridays.

Speaker 4 And they kind of help, you know, manage it. But some of these kids, it wasn't always just Amelia, but some of these kids are bartering.
And hey, you pay me that and I'll get you.

Speaker 4 I mean, they figure out how to work the system, those little kids.

Speaker 1 It's like an open air market overseas.

Speaker 1 It's amazing. Yeah.
I don't like it.

Speaker 1 I like it. She wasn't buying treats for little Johnny, was she? Do it.
Who's little Johnny? I don't know. I'm making it up.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 4 I don't think so. All right, very good.

Speaker 1 That'd be Caroline, probably. Let's be honest.

Speaker 4 I love it.

Speaker 1 I love it. All right, let's go to Davenport, Iowa, where Daniel is.
Daniel, how can we help today?

Speaker 2 Hey, Ken. Hey, Rachel, how are you doing today?

Speaker 1 Good. What's going on?

Speaker 2 So I'm wondering if I should stay with my current employer or if I should start looking for a different job.

Speaker 1 Tell me more. I got to know more.
Should we stay or should we go? Is the question.

Speaker 2 So I am a husband and a father. I got three little girls, and I got another one due in about four and a half weeks.

Speaker 1 Wow. Congratulations.

Speaker 2 Thank you. All girls.

Speaker 1 Woof. I'll pray for you.
God bless you. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Lots of prayers right now.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 my current employer, I told them that my family is growing and what I'm making there just currently isn't cutting it. And just being professional, I informed them I'm a trucker.

Speaker 2 So I informed them I'm getting my hazardous materials endorsement to get a job that pays me more money, a job where I can be home daily so I can be with my girls every night.

Speaker 2 They had no problem with that. They understood.

Speaker 2 But then they asked me to wait about a couple days to a week later, saying that there could be a significant raise coming down the pipe because they did some third-party research in our area and find out that their salary is pretty bottom of the barrel.

Speaker 2 So that was about four

Speaker 2 months ago, and I've been kind of politely pestering them

Speaker 2 and they

Speaker 1 there has been no raise thus far and every time I ask about it they just say because it has to get shot up to corporate and they say that corporate has not given them an answer thus far yeah so you're being stonewalled the so this was four months ago that they told you hang out for about four days or a week so I love the fact that you have taken this into your own hands and getting that extra licensing so when are you eligible to step into that role or driving those hazardous materials which gets you you the big raise and a better schedule?

Speaker 2 Well, I've done, you have to get like fingerprinting all this stuff through like the federal government and everything. And I've done all that.

Speaker 2 I literally just have to go to the DMV and take the test. I've taken the test twice, but it's a very hard test, and I missed it by four questions last time.

Speaker 2 So I just pass the test, get the endorsement, and I can walk onto these jobs.

Speaker 1 Let's go.

Speaker 1 But do not quit yet. We've got a baby on the way, three girls at home, a lot of responsibilities.
Do not leave this current employer until we have the other gig lined up.

Speaker 1 That's my clear-cut advice on that. So let's go.

Speaker 1 Stop waiting for this current company, my friend Daniel, the current company, they're not going to call you back.

Speaker 1 I remember in high school, you know, like I'd have some buddies that I always got the quick clue, Rachel, but I had some buddies who would ask a girl out about three or four times.

Speaker 1 After the second no,

Speaker 1 it's time to move on, you know, and they're not answering your question. They're kicking it up to corporate, and I'm not even sure they're talking to anybody in corporate.

Speaker 1 So the sign is on the wall is what I'm getting at. It's time for you to take the next test.
Let's get this thing done and let's move on.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Now I'm only allowed one question, correct?

Speaker 1 No, I'm go ahead.

Speaker 1 When I say we'll allow, I mean a smart question.

Speaker 2 This just takes care of my immediate, but I actually took your get clear assessment.

Speaker 1 Okay, great.

Speaker 2 And so I just kind of wanted some guidance on that.

Speaker 2 And I'll just tell you my purpose statement and got it memorized.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 2 But I was created to use my talents of

Speaker 2 instruct, excuse, I thought I had it memorized.

Speaker 2 My talents of communication,

Speaker 2 instruction,

Speaker 2 and imagination

Speaker 2 to perform my passions of leadership. advising and performing to fulfill my mission of service by providing assistance and security.

Speaker 1 Gotcha. So what's coming off there for me is that's a lot of people work, people and ideas, right?

Speaker 1 So when it's when it's, there's some creativity in that, but mostly all of those answers we're driving at, you're good at people stuff and you enjoy people work, correct?

Speaker 1 Correct, yeah. All right.
So at that point now, I mean, you, you, you, if you don't have the book, find the work you're wired to do. I'm going to give it to you.
Do you have the book?

Speaker 1 Because you need, you need some more coaching.

Speaker 2 I actually currently have it checked out from the library.

Speaker 1 Oh, well, fantastic. I'm going to give it to you for free today.

Speaker 2 And from Paycheck to Purpose.

Speaker 1 Great. I'll give you both for free today.
Christian, let's get this guy hooked up here in just a minute. We'll give you both of free.
But here's what you've got to do.

Speaker 1 What you've got to do is take that purpose statement and you now look at that as a job description, okay? Because it's all laid out for you.

Speaker 1 So now you go, okay, if this is a job description for me, then where in my area, where in the world of work where I live, are jobs open?

Speaker 1 that allow me to do this. It's that simple.
So you're not sitting around scratching your head, what am I supposed to do?

Speaker 1 so it's it's you're going to be doing people work uh you talked about the imagination piece the instruction piece so that is a communicative you have the communication instruction and imagination that is you are going to be working with people training them the leadership thing popped up there the advising thing popped up so you know guide instructor coach That's the type of thing you're looking for.

Speaker 1 But it may take some time to get into that. So I really like the path that we're on.
Let's move into the hazardous materials right now, as soon as we can. Bump up that salary.

Speaker 1 New baby. Let's get everything stable there.
And then let's take the steps next to go into that work that you were absolutely wired to do. Hang on the line, Daniel.
You're a good man.

Speaker 1 You've already got your sign. Your current company, they're not going to bring the race.
Let's move on. Hang on the line.
We'll get you those two books and I'll coach you through via the book.

Speaker 1 All right, quick break. She's Rachel Cruz.
I'm Ken Coleman. This is the Ramsey Show.
We'll be right back.

Speaker 1 Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I'm Ken Coleman.
I'm joined by Rachel Cruz. The phone number is 888-825-5225-888-825-5225.
We're here to answer your questions.

Speaker 1 Let's go to Jason, who joins us now in Los Angeles, California. Jason, how can we help?

Speaker 2 Hey, thanks for taking my call.

Speaker 1 Sure. What's going on today, Jason?

Speaker 2 So I have a, excuse me, me,

Speaker 2 I have a

Speaker 2 sorry, I have a quintañera that my daughter wants to plan. And I don't know if you guys are familiar, but quinceanera is pretty much like a Sweet 16.
Yeah, yep.

Speaker 2 We

Speaker 2 and I'm in a

Speaker 2 bit of a pickle as to whether I could or I should

Speaker 2 or if I could afford it or should I do it.

Speaker 1 How much is it going to cost?

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 estimated is

Speaker 2 I'm estimating between $10,000 and $15,000.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 1 You got an itemized list on that?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 Another detail on this is that I'm currently going through a divorce with her mother, and this is kind of being planned by her and either their prices kind of or her prices as far as as what they found.

Speaker 2 I'm just trying to see the problem is that I have just recently actually fully funded my six-month emergency fund,

Speaker 2 but that takes into account any support that I pay her,

Speaker 2 my ex-spouse.

Speaker 2 I don't know if I'm technically I can dip into that,

Speaker 2 but it's an emergency fund and this is not an emergency.

Speaker 1 Not only that, you can't afford it. You're calling us to ask.
The way that you're talking, we know you can't afford it. Am I right? You can't afford $10,000 to $5,000, and they're expecting you.

Speaker 4 So they're planning, like, she's planning it, and then they're going to expect you to foot the whole bill?

Speaker 2 Not foot the whole bill. Foot half she was asking for

Speaker 2 at the beginning of all these talks was

Speaker 2 half of 10, which was five, but I don't think that's realistic of what it would cost. I can, if I save up until the point of when this is supposed to happen, I could probably save about $4,000.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 1 I'm just

Speaker 2 whether I should do this at this time in my life.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 4 Jason,

Speaker 4 do you have any other debt, Jason?

Speaker 1 No. Or any debt.

Speaker 4 No debt. Okay.
But you're fully funded emergency fund. How much do you make a year?

Speaker 2 Overtime's been good this year, so it's about at 120.

Speaker 1 120. Okay.

Speaker 4 So here's my two things that I keep thinking as you're talking.

Speaker 4 Number one, how we define an emergency to actually dip into an emergency fund is when something is unexpected. So this doesn't really qualify because we know that she's going to be, yeah,

Speaker 4 is it 16 years old or is it 15?

Speaker 1 It's 15. 15, yeah, okay.

Speaker 4 So we knew she was going to be turned 15. So it's not unexpected.

Speaker 4 Is it urgent? Do I have to do it like right now, right now, right now? Yeah, I guess. I guess urgent would somewhat qualify because there's a date there.
And is it necessary, right?

Speaker 4 So these are the two things. So honestly, this whole thing, it does not check off all those boxes for me.
So no, it's technically not an emergency.

Speaker 4 So that's one part of the discussion. The second part is that you could bring together some money, right? And let's just say and pretend that it is 10,000.
They want you to do five.

Speaker 4 You could say four. Could you take a thousand out of the emergency fund to get to the five? Sure.
Like you could, right? I mean, it's not the end of the world.

Speaker 4 But my biggest problem with all of that, though, Jason, is that just like weddings, just like another party, just like vacations, anything, if you don't keep a strict budget and have a limit to what you're going to spend, it gets expensive, more expensive.

Speaker 4 I mean, a house, even when you build a house, same thing. Like the line continues to move.
So, Jason, if you decide to do this and to save the $4,000 for her, which I think would be great, right?

Speaker 4 Like, I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. Okay, Ken's not that happy about it.

Speaker 4 If you do it, though, there has to be very clear communication and boundaries with your future ex-wife ex-wife to say and and your daughter i would bring her in on it and say guys this is the this is what's going on here's what i will have for you this is it this is all i can do in good conscience and in good faith at where i am in life this is what i have

Speaker 4 work with that right and you set the tone you set the amount on what you can do jason because if you tell them Sure, I'll do half, it's going to go from 10 to 15 to 20, and there's going to be no boundaries.

Speaker 4 So you have to set that boundary. Okay, Ken's dying over here.

Speaker 1 I'm dying. I'm dying.
I agree with everything Rachel said. I just want to say this.

Speaker 1 I'm going to answer this as if I was in your shoes. And I don't know if there's any special features to this party, so I'm completely ignorant.

Speaker 1 But if my daughter Josie, who, by the way, turns 15 tomorrow,

Speaker 1 if she came to me and said, I want a big party and I've got a budget, I think it's going to be 10, I would ask for an itemized list.

Speaker 1 There's no way I'm even going to give four, five, six without seeing

Speaker 1 what are are the specific, where is the, where in the world is 10 grand going for a party for a bunch of 15-year-olds? So I'm starting there.

Speaker 1 And so I would say that everything Rachel said is absolutely right. You give your number after they give you numbers.
You don't just get, well, it's going to be 10, maybe 12, maybe 15, you give half.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 you have to ask for specifics and have a real conversation with your daughter. And you're in a a very tough situation now with the divorce.
And now she's got two

Speaker 4 and don't let the guilt and don't let the guilt ride over that judge.

Speaker 1 Just say, baby, here's the deal, okay? Give me your budget. What do you want for your party? Let's just walk through it.
Let's teach her.

Speaker 1 This is a teaching moment to go, yeah, I'd like to drive a Lamborghini, but I can't. And so I know you want a $10,000 party, but guess what?

Speaker 1 Me and mom can't do a $10,000 party, but we can make it an amazing party. And this is how much money I can give towards an amazing party.
I think that's the conversation. Well, it's not, I think.

Speaker 1 That's exactly how I would talk it over with my daughter, Josie. I'd get her wish list, get real numbers, and then how can I meet her expectations in a much more budget conscious way?

Speaker 1 I think that's where you start. It takes the pressure off because now you're dealing in reality.
And then you go, look, babe, this is what I can do.

Speaker 4 Yeah. And this stuff, Jason, and I know it's such a cultural part, right? I can see here.
Like I know that

Speaker 4 it is. And I know, like, you know,

Speaker 4 and we, I remember, we had a guy call, um, I think it was from India, and the wedding that he wanted to spend was like half a million dollars, right?

Speaker 4 So, like, I totally am aware that there are certain things culturally that the expectation is really big.

Speaker 1 But culture should never outrule common sense.

Speaker 4 But that's it, too. So, I'm like, it's, and you could say that about the American culture, right? Weddings or whatever, like, you could plug in other things.

Speaker 4 So, so you do have to, there's going to be multiple areas, Jason, within you that you're going to have to be like, this, oh, this is not, doesn't feel right. It's not what I wanted.

Speaker 4 But part of being a grown-up too, Jason, is looking at the numbers, what Ken's saying, and it's like, here's just, here's the reality.

Speaker 4 Here's the reality of what we have and what we can, or what I have and what I can do.

Speaker 1 And so coming back to you, Jason, you have a real number in your head that you feel like I can't afford. You feel like a guy who's in control of his money situation, you sound really stable.

Speaker 1 What's the number that you go, if I set it on fire for my daughter, it wouldn't bother me, wouldn't give me a mailox moment. What is that number?

Speaker 2 Well, right now, the big thing that

Speaker 2 is heavy on me is that I haven't even gotten into my investing portion of my life for the future.

Speaker 1 I get that, but you didn't answer my question. What's the number that

Speaker 1 you know I can give this money to my daughter, and I'm not going to lose sleep over it?

Speaker 2 As of now, I would say maybe for something like this, 3,000. Okay.

Speaker 1 Then now we've got a starting number. I'm trying to coach you through this practically.
You got a number where you go,

Speaker 1 I know you don't want to spend any money because you think you're behind. You're not.

Speaker 1 You're going to be fine on your investing. You got to weather this divorce.
You got to figure out what the payments are going to be and all that. You're going to restart.
Okay.

Speaker 1 But you're okay. But if the number's 3,000 where you go, that's my baby girl.
She wants this. I can give her $3,000.
Then let's start with that. Then go get the itemized list.

Speaker 1 And let's see if we can get closer to it. That's what I'm trying to do, is get you to a point where you don't let guilt run the day and make a bad financial decision.

Speaker 1 And I think the 3,000 is a common sense number. Would you agree?

Speaker 2 I would say so, yeah.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 4 And your ex-wife's not going to like it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So prep for that.

Speaker 4 And your daughter may not like it.

Speaker 1 She don't like you right now anyway. So we're not losing that deal.

Speaker 1 I mean, I'm not trying to be insensitive. I'm just keeping it real.
What are you going to do?

Speaker 1 Make her not want to be married to you more? I mean, we've already crossed that bridge.

Speaker 1 So you got to stick to your guns, man, and get the itemized.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Jason, you're good, man. You're going to be fine.
It's going to be a great party. Yes.
Rachel, by the way, will come do a dance or something.

Speaker 1 Send that request. Something.

Speaker 1 That'll be great. You'll tell a story.
This is the reanitation.

Speaker 1 Welcome back to the Ramsey Show. Thrilled to have you with us.
Triple 8-825-5225 is the number to jump in. Triple-8-825-5225.
I'm Ken Coleman. Rachel Cruz joins me this hour.

Speaker 1 Let's go to Preston, who joins us now in Dallas, Texas. Preston, how can we help?

Speaker 2 Hey, how's it going, Ken? Thank you. Thank you all for having me this morning.

Speaker 1 Sure.

Speaker 2 You know, I'm a married guy with three kids. We got a good income of about $185,000, $190,000 a year.

Speaker 2 But it seems like we are hemorrhaging money through our miscellaneous budget item and our

Speaker 2 food item.

Speaker 2 You know, we've got one car loan. We've got about $12,000 left on that.
I've got some medical debt. We had a child this year, so we've got about $6,000 there.

Speaker 2 And then we've got just some student loans left over that amount to about $4,500. And then a mortgage that's about $200,000 left.
So total debt is about $222,000.

Speaker 2 We make $185,000, $190,000. And it feels like at the end of the month, we just have nothing left.

Speaker 2 I really just kind of wanted to get some insight on what should a family spend, you know, monthly in a miscellaneous item, maybe in the food budget, but we are just spending pretty much what we earn.

Speaker 2 And we've gone up in salaries over the last five years tremendously. We've doubled what we make, but we're still spending everything we make.
And so I cannot figure out how to get over that hump.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's the classic lifestyle creep, right? It's just a little bit here and there. And over time, that starts to become your norm.

Speaker 4 And then you just add a little bit more, add a little bit more, and then you look up and you're exactly what you're saying.

Speaker 4 President, are you guys doing a very detailed budget?

Speaker 2 Very detailed. I am in accounting, which is kind of ironic, but I'm not good at accounting for my own expenses.

Speaker 2 But, you know, we set a food budget of, let's say, $1,500 to $2,000 a month. And then you sit there and go, hey, we just spent $3,000 on food.

Speaker 2 And you sit there and go, how are we doing that? Well,

Speaker 2 as George would like to not not hear, we eat out all the dang time.

Speaker 1 That's it. That's it.
I mean, we've got to be paid. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Let's just go out to you to pee here.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 2 And we all know that we're going to spend way more there than we do eating at home. But it's really just frustrating to be.

Speaker 4 Well, there's no, that's what's hard about this, Preston, is with personal finance, we always say it's, it's 80% behavior, it's 20% head knowledge.

Speaker 4 So you have the head knowledge of the numbers down with the budget of here's what we're going to do, but then you guys are not living on the plan that you've created you're going over a thousand dollars in food you're throwing you know a few hundred bucks here or there throughout the month on all this other stuff um and so when you when you realize that it's more of a discipline problem with you guys and the choices that you're making in everyday expenses it is it's it's sucking the the life out of out of y'all what i would do preston i would challenge you guys to say um

Speaker 4 and you know what if you hold on the line i'm gonna give you the premium version of Every Dollar because I think Every Dollar is one of the most helpful budgeting tools because it's going to be able to connect to your bank and you're going to be able to really be able to see in the way they do the paycheck planning and everything.

Speaker 4 It's just, it's a really well easy thing to see. And your wife can have the same login, so you guys both have the app on your phone.
And I would practice, Preston, acting like you guys make 80.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 4 Act like you're making 80 grand and do a budget off of that and just what see what happens say okay we then that means we have to way cut back here that means these you know 18 subscriptions we're paying for we can't do that uh that means maybe the kids that are doing the fun little gym classes every two days a week they're not going to do that anymore like you will have to cut back because i want you to take that 80 grand or more quote unquote i'm kind of just using a random number but I want you paying off the student loan, the car loan, I mean, all these loans that you guys have besides your mortgage, you guys could get this knocked out so quickly.

Speaker 4 And what I love about this, we always just call it gazelle intense because it is deep sacrifice. You are running like your hair is on fire and it's like it is scorched earth.

Speaker 4 It's like we're doing nothing. We're doing nothing and we're cutting back.
And so that means maybe even cutting back more than 80.

Speaker 4 I was just saying as a fun mathematical game on the budget, just look to see what you would cut, start there.

Speaker 4 And then I would trim back as much as you guys can, Preston, because I want you guys to feel progress with with your money. And it feels like you're spinning your wheels.

Speaker 4 You got all this debt hanging around. You're living still paycheck to paycheck.
And there's been no progress.

Speaker 4 And so in order to get these wins, like there's some stuff in lifestyle that you will cut and it'll hurt. It will not be fun.
And I know with a new baby, it's like you guys are all exhausted.

Speaker 4 I get it. But this is the time to do it, to buckle down and say it's now or never.
It's for a short period of time.

Speaker 4 Because then when all that's gone, Preston, I mean, how much is going out in payments for this debt per month, besides your mortgage? Do you have that? How much is going out just to debt?

Speaker 2 I do. So, for our medical debt, we actually got a high-deductible insurance plan.
So, we've got an HSA that I've got that set up to wipe that out in a year to where that doesn't hang around.

Speaker 2 So, that's automatically off the top. And then we've got my wife's car loan that we pay about $2,500 a month on it.

Speaker 1 Holy crap, what kind of car is it?

Speaker 2 You're taking some chunks at this.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're paying extra. You're paying extra.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. Payment's only $500.
Okay, okay.

Speaker 1 $2,500.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 2 But you sit there and go, I think we've got more in the budget,

Speaker 2 but

Speaker 2 once we get to the end of the month to make an extra payment,

Speaker 2 it's not there. And it's just super frustrating.

Speaker 4 Yeah. I mean, it's because you're living like you're making $190 and spending everything.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so let's just look at this. What's the smallest debt that you have?

Speaker 2 That'd be the... the student loans.

Speaker 2 You know, we've got three of them for the Sally Mae loans, but they total about $4,500.

Speaker 4 Okay, so instead of focusing on the $12,000 car loan, focus on the student loan and go ahead and just get that knocked out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what's the payment? What's the minimum payment on the student loan right now? The three of them together.

Speaker 7 If they're all out.

Speaker 7 And that's the bad deal.

Speaker 2 Y'all know they're in four variants, so we haven't even been paying on them. We've been just chunking at her car loan.
And I know that's not what Baby Step 2 is for that gazelle intimidating.

Speaker 1 Here's a point I'm trying to make.

Speaker 1 If you stay with this, if you stay with this and you work this plan, you guys cut. First of all, you need to stop eating out.
Like no more.

Speaker 1 You guys got to stop. You got to get out of here.

Speaker 4 Eat turkey sandwiches at night. Do eggs and bacon for dinner.
I mean, like, you can do cheap meals right for a season. It's out forever.

Speaker 1 You're an accountant. Your issue is not the numbers.
The issue is the behavior. And if you guys try it for one month and go, you know what, we're all in.

Speaker 1 We're not going to eat out one time at all just to see how much money you can save extra.

Speaker 1 And the point is, we knock out the student loans, then we knock out the car pay, and all of a sudden you've got more margin than you realize.

Speaker 1 Here's the thing, I know you're discouraged, but you've got more margin in that budget than you realize. But you've got to change your spending habits.

Speaker 1 And if you do that, and if we can get some extra income, we sell some stuff in this debt snowball, whatever we got, we can find margin pretty quickly.

Speaker 1 As detailed as you are,

Speaker 4 grasping the numbers, you and your wife have got to sit down and go, if we do this and then we do this and we do this like crazy for the next six, 12 months, here's how much progress we'll make and then all of a sudden you go oh this is doable i think you're just discouraged right now and preston with with i'll add on that for ken because this is always helpful for me whenever we're doing a big goal so whether for you it's getting out of debt or you know saving up for something look at the time frame run the numbers like what we're saying and just know and say okay we are confident you know it's july right now so we are confident you know by dang christmas we're gonna be we're gonna do it from now till christmas

Speaker 4 it's just it's go time i mean or whatever the the date is but have that date because that gives you the The light at the end of the tunnel that you're not gonna like live in this world forever and ever amen You can actually enjoy what you're working, but you're not enjoying your money now because again I think so much of it is this debt and so much of it is that lifestyle because once you guys pay this off do you have any savings at all Preston?

Speaker 4 Do you guys have cash in the bank?

Speaker 2 Yeah, we have some but not enough to to cover any of it.

Speaker 4 How much?

Speaker 2 We've got our emergency fund just to start emergency fund.

Speaker 1 okay so you got a thousand dollars that's where you're at yeah can you sell your wife's car we get we're running out of time but i mean you got to look at everything man selling cars everything

Speaker 1 you know you're going to reduce your monthly payments and increase your income so for you my friend i know you're an accountant but there's a lot of gig work right now for accountants I'd be working 60, 80 hours a week doing accounting work because you can get paid very well for freelance work.

Speaker 1 Income goes up, expenses go down. You guys can ask the talk quick.
Like get after it. And then you'll see some breathing room and then you realize, okay, we can stay the course.
Thanks for the call.

Speaker 1 You'll get there, Preston. This is the Ramsey Show.

Speaker 1 Welcome back to the Ramsey Show. Thrilled to have you with us.
I'm Ken Coleman. Rachel Cruz joins me as we are here taking your calls, triple eight eight two five two two five.

Speaker 1 We're talking about your life, whether that's your money situation, your work situation.

Speaker 1 We are here to help today. Let's go to Ogden, Utah.
Connor is there. Connor, how can we help?

Speaker 2 Yeah, thank you for taking my call.

Speaker 2 So my wife and I are about ready to move out of our home. We have a little daughter and we're outgrowing it.

Speaker 2 So we've been looking at our options and because my parents are so generous and we've been so blessed, they told us about a week ago that they're going to be giving all their kids an inheritance early so they could watch them spend it.

Speaker 2 And the inheritance is about $300,000.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 4 That's awesome.

Speaker 2 And so that opens up a lot of options for us.

Speaker 2 We have been kind of weighing it in our heads. And one of the things is our current home is in a college town and we've been thinking about maybe just paying that off with $100,000.

Speaker 2 or $115,000 is what we owe on it still,

Speaker 2 and then renting it out and then using the other $200,000 as a down payment to our next house which would get us a comfortable house payment.

Speaker 2 But the other option is we thought maybe we would just sell this house now and take the 200,000 in equity and put it towards our next down payment along with 300,000 or whatever to basically buy our next house in cash and not have a house payment.

Speaker 2 So we're just trying to figure out between those two options what would be maybe there's another option that I'm not thinking about either that you can fill me in on.

Speaker 4 No,

Speaker 4 not off the top of my head of what you guys want to do.

Speaker 4 I mean, I think this is a really smart move, and I think a beautiful way to honor your parents and the legacy and the inheritance that they're giving you.

Speaker 4 I'm sure they would appreciate seeing this versus

Speaker 4 taking

Speaker 4 18 trips around the world or something. I mean, I don't know.
There's something about it that it's like, oh, there's like a stability. It's an investment.

Speaker 1 Which way is the family and all that? I'm curious to know, are you two leaning the same way? One of you leaning one way, one leaning the other?

Speaker 2 My wife is leaning a little bit towards the renting.

Speaker 2 And I'm kind of honestly in the middle. I could see it either way.
I like the idea of having the extra stream of income coming in every single month.

Speaker 2 But there's also that feeling of just not having any debt at all with our next home.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And just being free and clear.

Speaker 4 Connor, do y'all want to be landlords? Like the idea of an investment property sounds like, oh, that sounds great. And yes, there's passive income.
And I come from a real estate family.

Speaker 4 My husband loves real estate. So I get it.
But because of that, I also know all of the work that goes in.

Speaker 4 And then you said college town, that I'm sure you can find the great group of college students to rent it out, but you're also renting it out to college students.

Speaker 4 So,

Speaker 4 or possibly, you could obviously not do that. But I mean, the landlord thing, that's not just a, oh, yeah, that's cool and fun.
I mean, it ends up kind of being a part-time job.

Speaker 4 And if you're working full-time, I'll be honest, it may land into your wife's lap of her having to go and fix the sink brakes. And they, you know, know like it's it's a

Speaker 4 it's a thing too so I just want you guys to keep in mind so it is a great a great way to have

Speaker 4 passive income but I if I were you I would just be free and clear and then if you guys want to save up because you won't have a mortgage if you just sold it and

Speaker 4 and then paid cash for your primary residence Yeah, I mean, that's phenomenal. Then you could save up a lot.

Speaker 4 And if you guys chose to go into real estate investing, then you could and start small, maybe even a different location.

Speaker 1 Right. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So fun little exercise. How much do you think you could get per month for that house in the college town if you paid it off with some of this inheritance?

Speaker 1 How much?

Speaker 2 $1,350 is about what the rent would be.

Speaker 1 Okay, so again, you know, what's that going to end up being?

Speaker 1 $18,000, $19,000, $20,000? I'm not really great at math, but somewhere in that range, right?

Speaker 1 $15,000, $16,000, something like that.

Speaker 1 So you have to sit there with your wife and go, okay, here's the income that this would spit off, but that doesn't include the expenses, which Rachel was touching.

Speaker 1 It's not going to be free and clear, $15,000 to $18,000.

Speaker 4 You're going to have to replace carpet in three years. You're going to probably repaint the wall.
I mean, it's just, you know,

Speaker 1 I learned that one from George. I was with George, George Campbell threw that at a caller the other day.
I was like, that's a really good exercise because it's like, is it worth

Speaker 4 all the work?

Speaker 1 Let's just call it net, just for easy numbers, $14,000 a year. You're going to have expenses.
You're You're just going to. And

Speaker 1 you got all of this for $14,000. And to Rachel's point, like, what's the trade-off on a huge down payment or buying a house cash

Speaker 1 in this point in your marriage? So I'd get rid of the house too.

Speaker 1 I really would.

Speaker 1 It's just, but you got to sit down with your wife and cash value.

Speaker 4 And there's not, I don't think there's a wrong answer here. Because something, because one of them is going to be paid off.

Speaker 4 If you were going to still have debt on it and debt on a primary residence, I would tell you to get rid of it hands down. But

Speaker 4 for it being paid off, there's not, yeah, it's not right or wrong. It's just truly where you guys want to put your time and your effort.
You know,

Speaker 4 if it's my dad or my husband, they're probably going to keep it because they love real estate and they're like, oh, it is worth it because of, you know, they just, it's part of what they love.

Speaker 4 But to me, I'm like,

Speaker 4 and the college, oh, man, I just remember that, I remember renting a house in college.

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 4 Winston lived with like six guys in a rental house in a street.

Speaker 1 Disgusting. I'm already disgusting.
It was terrible. Oh, yeah.
Block parties, terrible. Games and all that kind of stuff.

Speaker 4 We were good renters, though.

Speaker 4 My group of friends. We were very clean.
We took care of that house.

Speaker 4 I was an old soul.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Wow. In the college days.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think you're still an old soul.

Speaker 1 Not as old as me, though. Apparently.
With my little phrase.

Speaker 4 North of the border.

Speaker 1 Melissa's up in Chattanooga, Tennessee. Don't get me started on Chattanooga.
Melissa, how can we help?

Speaker 6 Hi, Rachel. Hi, Ken.

Speaker 2 It is a pleasure to speak with you today.

Speaker 6 I'm so grateful.

Speaker 6 I'm in a situation now.

Speaker 6 I have a possible fork in my career path, and I'm hoping you can kind of help me unpack it a little bit. Sure.

Speaker 6 So what's going on? I had my quarterly check-in with my supervisor today. Now,

Speaker 6 it's kind of a backstory. We work for a big company who has two retail locations.
I work for the smaller of the two, and it's quite a bit smaller.

Speaker 6 I manage, I oversee it, and I have three teammates who work for me.

Speaker 6 And so we've been working really, really hard for a few years now, even through COVID and all of that, on expanding, growing, providing more service for people.

Speaker 6 And we're at the point where the

Speaker 6 company or the building that we rent, we're possibly having our lease being bought out by somebody else who shares the building. Now, we're not in a position where we can rent a new location.

Speaker 6 We've got a really sweet deal with this building.

Speaker 6 So what it sounds like, I've got probably a 60 or 75 percent chance that we are going to close my location and we're going to be absorbed into the bigger location. My teammates will blend just fine.

Speaker 6 The thing that we run into is my position.

Speaker 6 My director is super awesome, super supportive, and really thinks that there is a path of progression for me to take her position as she plans to exit the company in the next two to three years.

Speaker 6 I'm not so confident, but I'm also kind of interested. I think maybe it would be a huge link from assistant manager to director,

Speaker 6 but I'm just not sure what I want to think right now.

Speaker 1 I get it. So what would the interim look like? So if they shut this down, the smaller location where you're in a manager position,

Speaker 1 and then you go to the bigger location, you're underneath that director, what role are you in? Are you making the same amount of money?

Speaker 6 We just started discussing that. It would be a new role created for me, sort of a GM in training,

Speaker 6 along with whatever else. So I actually get a legit paycheck with a legit job at the other location while I'm training and

Speaker 6 helping that business grow, but also learning the role of paper working to be a director over there.

Speaker 1 Okay, if you knew that the path was two to three years, it was guaranteed you were going to replace her, would you be on the phone with us?

Speaker 6 I'm pretty sure it could happen. I'm just not sure if it's the right choice for me.

Speaker 1 That's what I'm asking. Okay, so

Speaker 1 yeah, okay, so you're not sure if that's the long-term play for you. And I love that.
So how soon is a decision going to be made where you're going to have to choose? I got about 30 seconds.

Speaker 1 So give me the quick answer.

Speaker 6 We're looking at probably end of year, we'll know what's going to happen with the lease.

Speaker 1 All right, so here's what I would decide if I'm staying or going. All right, so here's what I would do.

Speaker 1 I would spend time right now thinking about your long-term future, knowing that you have a safe option to at least take this for the interim while you still figure this out.

Speaker 1 Okay, so I just want you to breathe, stay with the company until you figure it out long term. Hang on the line.
Let's get you an assessment, the get clear career assessment.

Speaker 1 I'll give that to you, a link and a code. I want you to take that as you consider long term what your options are.
But I'm glad you're stable right now. Thank you for the call.

Speaker 1 This is The Ramsey Show.

Speaker 1 Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I'm Ken Coleman, joined by Rachel Cruz.
Thrilled you are with us. The phone number to jump in is 888-825-5225.
That's 888-825-5225. Levi joins us next in Reno, Nevada.

Speaker 1 Levi, how can we help?

Speaker 3 How are you all doing today?

Speaker 1 Well, we're having a blast, Levi. What's up?

Speaker 2 I wanted to say thank you first off.

Speaker 3 Started listening to you guys about six months ago, and it's really made an impact.

Speaker 1 Awesome.

Speaker 3 Ken actually just started binging yours.

Speaker 3 Looking to change career soon, but it's nothing to do with my questions.

Speaker 1 Great.

Speaker 2 So I've never been married, and I've got a girl who I want to propose to.

Speaker 3 Where does that fall in the baby steps as far as buying a ring and how much did someone spend?

Speaker 2 I just finished paying off all my debt last week.

Speaker 1 Wow, congratulations. Congratulations.
How much did you pay off?

Speaker 3 It was about, I'd say about $20,000 in six months.

Speaker 4 Nice. Nice, Levi.
Congratulations.

Speaker 1 What's your emergency fund going to be? Three or six months, four months, five months? And how much will that be?

Speaker 6 Right now, it could be very little.

Speaker 3 I'm in a unique situation where I don't have rent,

Speaker 3 which is how I paid everything off so quick. Awesome.
But with rent in this area, $20,000 would be a good one. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. How much are you thinking on the ring? We have Rachel here, which I feel like is an expert on this.
When it comes to jewelry, she's the expert in the room.

Speaker 4 No, I think our rule of thumb is one month's salary

Speaker 4 is what you can use, is what we would recommend.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 3 And where does that fall as far as should I be focusing on getting that emergency fund before spending

Speaker 3 $3,000?

Speaker 4 It'd be nice to have some, but also, I'm like,

Speaker 4 we don't tell people to stop the baby steps to get married and to do all this. So if you couldn't do both at the same time,

Speaker 4 save some money for the emergency fund and then be saving on the side too for the ring. How long have you been been dating would be ideal

Speaker 3 i've been with her for two and a half years and we actually lived together and her elderly parents uh who did not know anything about ramsey live with us

Speaker 1 oh boy that was a loaded chuckle

Speaker 1 that was a loaded

Speaker 1 chuckle what does that mean

Speaker 1 uh

Speaker 3 they they had no money saved up uh one of them actually needs to be in a nursing home and all right now we can't afford it.

Speaker 1 So, in all seriousness, now I'm assuming that she's going to say yes, right? You feel pretty confident we're going to get a yes out of this.

Speaker 1 Is there expectations for the parents of y'all to continue to live together and for you all to have to take care of them? That's a pretty heavy burden.

Speaker 3 Yes, they

Speaker 3 it's a package deal.

Speaker 7 Uh, she's from Guam, it's just kind of their culture.

Speaker 1 Got it,

Speaker 1 and you're and you're all in on this,

Speaker 1 yes, Okay. All right.

Speaker 4 That's great.

Speaker 4 Yeah. So, Levi, to answer your question, I would just, I would do both.

Speaker 1 Well, now that I know what I know, Rachel, I'm going to tell him to wait. Get the emergency fund fully funded.
They're living together.

Speaker 1 I mean, what are we going to wait a couple more months? I'd wait and get the emergency fund funded.

Speaker 4 Well, Mike, you're basically married. You're playing married.
So I want you married as soon as possible.

Speaker 1 Oh, I see what you're doing there.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I'd go quicker. I would say,

Speaker 4 save it up. Go.

Speaker 3 I mean, you gotta pick a slush loan in the budget.

Speaker 4 Yep, yep. And just put some money aside.
Yes. Will you guys want a wedding or are you guys kind of low-key with it and no big deal?

Speaker 3 I'm definitely low-key.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 She will want some kind of ceremony.

Speaker 1 Okay. I've never been married.
She has been. Okay.

Speaker 3 So the ceremony is important, but it's very inexpensive.

Speaker 4 Yep. That's great.
So be cash flowing that as well.

Speaker 4 And then once you guys get married, combine your incomes and all of this. And if you have anything left to build up the emergency funds, do that but i would i would

Speaker 4 um

Speaker 1 yeah i'd get married as soon as i would i would get married yeah you guys know do you know where you're gonna get registered

Speaker 1 he has no idea what i just said do you even know what that means i don't oh that's so great i knew it well uh she can explain it to you That's where married, that's where engaged couples, they go and they put their money.

Speaker 1 I know you, old man.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, I just think that's where you get registered. Levi can tell.

Speaker 1 I think it's funny because Levi is so naive. And I think that that's really great.

Speaker 1 He doesn't understand about all the stuff he's about ready to get into.

Speaker 1 They're older.

Speaker 4 We got married young, so registering was really exciting. The younger you are, I feel like the more exciting that stuff is.

Speaker 1 I just thought it was funny.

Speaker 1 It brought no redeeming value at all. I agree.
Let's go to David in Fredericksburg, Virginia. David, how can we help?

Speaker 7 Yeah, I wanted your take on a reverse mortgage.

Speaker 7 I'll be turning 65 next year and getting tired of construction work, wondering if I could go part-time and use a reverse mortgage so that I can stay at the house that we had built for a few years longer.

Speaker 4 No, David.

Speaker 4 No, we do not recommend reverse mortgages because it does exactly what it says. It puts you back in reverse.
You guys are progressing.

Speaker 4 paying off your house and building this equity and you're going to start right back over. And so

Speaker 4 it is a product that is marketed to 60 plus. You know, whenever you look at any, even, I mean, seriously, that's true.
Seriously, David.

Speaker 1 Yes, it really is.

Speaker 4 Because

Speaker 4 it's doing exactly what you are thinking. It's like, oh, that's kind of nice.
I can pull back from work, all of that.

Speaker 4 And that it's not, it's not the way to go because you're going to be losing equity in it. And

Speaker 4 it's not smart, not smart at all. So, what, David, you said you're 64?

Speaker 7 I'll be 65 in January.

Speaker 1 January. Okay, okay.

Speaker 4 And how much do you guys have left on the mortgage?

Speaker 7 We've got left on it about $180,000, and it's valued at almost $500,000.

Speaker 4 Oh, nice. Do you guys have any other debt?

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 7 Yeah, we've had the land forever. We've got about $20,000 in debt that we keep paying off and going on vacation and running back up and then paying it off.

Speaker 1 Okay, David.

Speaker 7 Listening to you guys has been a good sin.

Speaker 4 Good. How much do you guys make a year?

Speaker 7 We make about $65,000 a year.

Speaker 4 $65,000. Okay.

Speaker 1 Is it all credit card debt?

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 6 Well,

Speaker 2 yes, it is credit card debt.

Speaker 4 Because here's the thing, too, David.

Speaker 7 And it might be high on the credit card debt. It's probably more like about $10,000.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 So what's the other debt of the 20? What else do you owe?

Speaker 7 Maybe some medical and the wife. We've been budgeting quite well.
And

Speaker 7 so it's something that we've learned over the years to try and keep a control on that spending beast.

Speaker 4 Okay. And David, do you guys have anything in retirement?

Speaker 7 About $30,000, $40,000.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 7 I've got some property that I'll be selling.

Speaker 1 Okay. I've had it for years.

Speaker 4 And by all means, I'll start selling some of my heavy equipment that I've got that haven't been using okay so if you lay so if you sell the land liquidate property or liquidate the the machines everything how much do you think you'll you'll come out

Speaker 1 uh probably close to 300,000 oh okay nice

Speaker 4 um because I'm just thinking of your retirement and you guys long term because I know you probably want to pull back from working for sure um but these this the habits that you guys have been in, David, like you said, you're like, well, we go on vacation, we pay some stuff off, we go back, all this, this reverse mortgage, it's going to just magnify the bad habits that you guys have created.

Speaker 4 So it's not going to be good for you in any sense. It's not a great, it's a terrible

Speaker 4 situation in general. But also

Speaker 4 when you guys are not, you're not being disciplined in it. And so I would, if I were you and your wife, I would sit down and really map out a plan and say, okay, we are 65 years old.

Speaker 4 We owe $180 still in the mortgage. You got $30,000 in retirement, $20,000 in debt.

Speaker 4 And it's time to really start cleaning this up, David. I mean, honestly, be paying off this debt as quickly as possible.
You guys need some savings in the bank for an emergency fund.

Speaker 4 And then we're going to start piling on retirement and whether that means selling the land early to get some money in.

Speaker 4 But I want to be able to map out, I want you to be able to map out a plan to get you to retirement. And reversing the mortgage doesn't do that.
It gets you back into a horrible situation.

Speaker 4 You're not progressing forward when you do that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, great advice there. And hey, you still got time and you've got some assets that you're going to be able to get a windfall of cash.
So really dive into the baby steps and really walk it out.

Speaker 4 Hey, David, hold on the line. Austin's going to pick up and give you guys a free trial to Financial Beast University.
I want you and your wife to go through it.

Speaker 1 That'll do it for this hour of the Ramsey Show. Thank you so much for being with us.

Speaker 1 What up, what up? It's Dr.

Speaker 8 John Deloney from the Dr. John Deloney Show with some amazing news.
The latest episode of United States of Anxiety is available right now exclusively on the Ramsey Network app.

Speaker 8 This docu series follows real people from my show as they embark on a 90-day journey to transform their lives, and I personally walk alongside them every step of the way.

Speaker 8 Okay, now, here's a sneak peek of what the new episode is all about. And don't forget to click the link in the show notes to download the app.

Speaker 1 What's up, Kelsey?

Speaker 4 So I've lived with crippling anxiety for as long as I can remember. How do I stop it from constantly coming up in different areas of my life?

Speaker 1 What does crippling anxiety mean?

Speaker 9 Paint me a picture of that.

Speaker 8 All right, so you ready to jump in?

Speaker 6 I'm ready to jump in.

Speaker 10 So we're going to check in with Kelsey 30 days, 60 days, 90 days.

Speaker 4 I cannot even function because I'm just crying.

Speaker 4 My mom left us when I was four. I truly felt like for a while I had no family.

Speaker 1 She's experiencing things that really hurt a long time ago. Tell Tell me about this boy.

Speaker 4 He triggers me a lot. Scared of losing Paul, scared of doing the wrong thing, scared of not being enough.

Speaker 10 It just feels like it would be exhausting to be Kelsey. It is.
Whenever somebody's playing whack-a-mole with their anxiety, when it just keeps moving, that tells me the underlying system's not okay.

Speaker 4 How do I get my inner child out of this relationship? Because I feel like she's running the show.

Speaker 1 One of two people that's supposed to never leave took off.

Speaker 4 I was this.

Speaker 1 I was this burden. New burden.
That's right.

Speaker 10 To the one person

Speaker 9 who should carry it, all of it.

Speaker 10 Did you ever tell that little girl that it wasn't her fault?

Speaker 4 I don't know what to do.

Speaker 9 You either have to choose to let this guy love you, or you got to choose to let this guy go.