Broke Is Normal—Do You Really Want to Be Like Everyone Else?

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Jade Walsh, our Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author, and is my co-host today. Open phones here at 888-825-5225.
Merry Christmas, America. Allie is with us.

Allie is in Phoenix.

Hi, Allie.

Welcome to the Ramsey Show.

Hey, thanks so much for having me.

Sure.

What's up?

Yeah, so I have a question around a large lump sum of money I just inherited.

Okay.

So I have two older sisters, they're twins, and they are quite a bit older than me. They're technically my half sisters.
And my dad came into their life when they were two. And 16 years later, I was born.
So they're about 18 years older than me.

And great dad, he unfortunately passed away when I was four, and they were in their early 20s.

And I just found out this past Thanksgiving that through his company's old life insurance,

there's $100,000 in an account that I am set to inherit solely. How old are you? When my mom, I'm 26.
Okay, so this company, your dad left you as the beneficiary for a $100,000 life insurance policy, and why was it not dispersed to you then? My, it was in a custodial account. Well, at 21, it becomes yours.
Yes. She did not want to tell me about it because she was afraid I would misuse it.
Wow. Okay.
She doesn't really have that option legally, by the way. Okay.
So you're now how old? I'm 26. Okay.
All right. So you have $100,000 and you're going to go pick up the check now, right? Yes.
Good. However, however, um, her closing comment to me after informing me of this account was, you he was your sister's dad too even not by blood okay and she would be right about that yes um my question to you is you know when he passed my sister stepped in they financially helped take care of me and my mom They were there every second.
They moved back in with us. They are my best friends, my everything.
So what do you want to do? There's obviously something that you want to do. What do you want to do? Well, my holdup is I am in the market to buy a house.
And this would be awesome to have to put towards the down payment but I do think they deserve something why why do they deserve something um they did not move back in and take care of you all because they thought they had money coming to them that's true they moved back in took care of you because your your family they loved you you're a little little girl and your mom needed help. And they came in and helped their mother and their little half sister.
They didn't do it for money. You're under no obligation to repay that act with money.
Yeah. That's like saying, oh, I used to change your diapers.
So you need to need to share this with me no it's your freaking job when you're the mom you change the diapers that's what you do you don't get to you don't get to play that card later as a as a way to get paid back now if you just in your own heart you thought man i want to give i want to share this and it has nothing to do with you. No, this is guilt.
Your mother is a travel agent for guilt trips, and she's a bit of a control freak because she illegally withheld this information from you for the last five years. I mean, she could get her butt sued if you were a jerk.
I mean, what she did is straight up illegal, okay? Not criminal. But, I mean, she just cannot.
You can't do that. It's not.
It's just. Well, I thought that, you know, she might misuse.
It's not her option. The law says at 21, it's yours.
The custodial rights dissipate. They disappear at 21.
So, you know, there's a lot of guilt and passive-aggressive floating around your whole family. Yeah.
Yeah. So I think you know.
I personally, your dad left your name on it. If he wanted their name on it, he would have put their name on it.
Yeah. If your mother could have talked him into it, he would have put their name on it.
And so she's now trying to fix this the way she wants it afterwards. Sorry.
I don't need to be mean about this, and I don't want you to be unkind to anybody. And I appreciate that you love your half-sisters, and that's wonderful that you have a great relationship.
I'm glad you do. But it should not be based on money.
It ought to be based on love and family. And so you are not lesser of a person if you only follow through on your father's intent.
Your father left you this money. He did not leave it to them.
So you do whatever you want to do. I don't want you to share it out of guilt.
I don't either, but I will say, I mean, I will say if I was left, I have, there's four of us. If I was left on my dad's insurance policy, $100,000.
And if I just was privy to the fact that my siblings got nothing, I think that I would be inclined to divvy it up. And I'm not saying that that's right or wrong.
I just can understand. I can understand it can understand it and I agree with you Dave I don't think it should be done out of guilt at all you should never do any generosity without a cheerful heart period but I can understand it and I think I can understand it I can understand it if you want to do it yeah but I'm not okay with this coming from your mother who illegally kept this information from you for five years definitely well you know he loved them too you know he loved puppies too so maybe we ought to give some to the humane society you know oh brother i mean yeah that's not good killing.
Yeah, because then she might decide that she should have some too. Yeah, he loved me too.
He loved all God's little creatures. You know, geez, you're killing me.
So, and I think the situation, if you go to like with your brothers and sisters, you're talking about that, I think that's uh dependent why did your dad not leave them on the policy well because they're misbehaving sure okay then then you wouldn't you'd be violating his memory and his intent to and his blessing to do that or um he just screwed up the paperwork he wasn't watching what he was doing that's also possible And that was a mistake if that was the case then i might want to share it yeah and i think that's the thing she knows she knows what's really at play here and i think that you were i'm 100 sure she is his blood daughter the other girls aren't yeah and 100 sure he left it to his daughter yeah there's no question in my mind i'm reading his I'm reading his mind, and it's just that the wife

didn't like that. Yeah, she didn't.
Sorry. The way it works.
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John is with us. Merry Christmas, John.
Hey guys, how are you guys doing? Better than we deserve, bro. What's up? Good.
So me and my fiance, we're wanting to get married, but we're kind of running into a tricky situation. So basically, she has a lot of health issues.
She takes a lot of medications, and some of those medications are just ridiculously priced. I mean, like one of them is just $5,000 a month.
What is her health problems? So she has diabetes type 1, epilepsy, seizures, and she has a bunch of other stuff. But here recently, because we have a seven-month-old she recently got

diagnosed with postpartum depression so she's having a pretty tough time now but basically we want to get married but she's on Medicaid right now which covers which fully covers the cost of her medication and if we get married they would use my income and deny her Medicaid And then what would the prescription cost on your insurance?

So... get married, they would use my income and deny her Medicaid.
And then what would the prescription cost on your insurance? So, and that's kind of why I'm calling you guys, because I'm a little confused about this insurance. Like I have, I don't know a lot about it.
I mean, I see our deductible would be eight grand, which seems like a lot. Yeah, but then you could look and see how your prescriptions are covered.
Have you called and just asked them and said, hey, I'm getting married. I'm moving my wife to my insurance.
Here's the medications that she's on. What would it cost me? I have not.
I think that's your first step. Okay.
Okay, because I thought, so the deductibles on insurance,

may or may not apply to prescription drugs.

We don't know in your policy.

Okay.

Even if it does, even if it does, it's an $8,000 out of pocket,

not $8,000 a month.

Which is something you could plan for for the year.

What do you make?

I take home about $32,000. Okay.
All right. And what do you do for a living? I'm an HVAC.
Okay. I'm just starting out.
Okay. So you're just getting your apprenticeship behind you, and you're starting to make some tech money, which means your income is going to double in the next three years.
Agreed? Correct. Yeah.
Okay. That's good.
That's a good trade to be in, man. Good for you.
And so, but here's the thing. One of the ways you want to look at major situations like this is, okay, I've got this barrier.
Number one, what can I do about it? Which Jade gave you a great suggestion. Go ahead and get more information gathered up because you may be worrying about something or you may have made an assumption here i mean i have no idea it may be that some of those particular drugs have a generic form that can be bought for five hundred dollars a month i don't know i don't i mean it it wouldn't be that unusual to hear a story like that once

you decide, hey, we've got to figure this out because we're getting married. Okay.
And now, then you pan back and say, all right, even if it's $7,000, we've got to figure out something else because we don't want to be on Medicaid for the next 40 years and not married. Right.
So you have to have a long-term perspective on this that says, okay, I've got to fix this because this doesn't play well long-term. this month if it is seven thousand dollars a month and that's the only option which is probably not

but if that's the only option this month sucks that's right okay but you cannot let that be the only thing that says i'm going to determine this because we know we don't want to be on welfare for the next 40 years that's not a good life plan So we've got to find a way to get off of welfare and and which is what medicaid is boys and girls and um so let's get off of that and get let's find a way around that so private insurance generics uh other solutions to the medical issues start talking to the docs and say okay medicaid's off the table table. So how are we going to, how are we going to make sure she's okay? That's right.
And even if, even if you do call and find out that the prescriptions are covered with her health conditions, you're always going to want your deductible laying around because you never know what's going to pop up. That's going to send somebody to the ER or they'll have to have a procedure done.
So that's something that you really should weigh heavily. And we say it all the time when people have three to six months of emergency funds, one of the things you weigh in is the health of you or your spouse.
So something to think about. Yeah.
It sounds like you got a high deductible HSA probably. Yeah.
And so that sets you up to have a good emergency fund. And you're probably budgeting to recoup that deductible once a year.
That's right. And, you know, because you're probably going to burn through it with, you know, an ongoing struggle with epilepsy and ongoing struggle with some of these other issues.
So cool. Hey, John, that's a good question.
You're a good man. I'm glad you're looking at this through the right eyes and figuring out how to solve it.
Appreciate you joining us. Alex is in Denver.
Alex, welcome to the Ramsey Show. Merry Christmas.
Hey, Merry Christmas. Thanks for taking my call.
Sure. What's up? I had a question today, not about gift-giving, but gift-receiving.
So I'm pretty sure we've been using you guys' daily steps since about late 2022, so a little over a year. We're just finishing step two.
We're on to our last $8,000. We should be done by about May of this year being all paid off.
So we're excited. But the issue is, so I found out that my wife has been saving some of her discretionary income on the side, some of the pocket change spending money that she's had over the years.
And she bought me what i would consider a pretty expensive christmas gift what

about $850 what uh it's something that i've wanted for years i'm a nerd what is it i like it's the uh it's the lego uh millennium falcon the giant one how long did she save up her fun money to do this?

Probably six or seven months.

Okay.

And so the thing is, I'm still in the trenches. My mind is paying off some more debt.
How come hers is not in the trenches? I don't know. I thought it was.
Yeah. Was the fun money, I just have a question, was the fun money that something that you guys decided was going to be on the budget? Yep, it is.
And you have a line item too? Yep. Okay, and you've been spending yours on what you consider fun? For the most part, usually mine goes towards day trips and vacations for us.
Okay, and then she's... So a little, little, like, you know, out in the local area, go eat at a nice restaurant

every once in a while.

Okay.

And then she's, instead of spending hers on what she would consider fun, whether it

be for her or both of you, she's stacked it up for this gift.

Yes.

And what you're thinking is, don't stack it up for the gift.

If you're going to do anything, put it on the debt.

And, well, I mean, yeah, I mean, it's a tenth of our remaining debt.

Why wouldn't we just, you know, pay off that much more of more of it well because you guys said you had fun money no i disagree well i'm not saying that that's right but i am saying that you guys created a budget you both shook and agree on it you spent your money on one way and now you're now that you see her she's been she stacked up hers you're like oh wait a minute i want the is, Dave is right. You guys shouldn't have been doing fun money to begin with if you're paying off debt.
Not at this level. We're not going out to eat.
We're not going on vacation. We're totally intense and totally focused.
And I don't know how in the crud you come up with $850 in a super gazelle intense budget. You should have been squeezing every dollar out.
And anytime you have money left at the end of the end of the month you throw it at the debt that's right you don't stack it up in the corner this is not a squirrel fund so i mean you do whatever you want to do but that is not following the baby steps neither of you when you're in baby step two neither one of you are when you're baby step two you're throwing everything you don't see the inside of a restaurant unless you're working there we're not going on vacation we're getting out of debt and so you guys are

you've been you've been focused but you've not been intense and so you do whatever y'all want

to do in your plan our plan is all this money should have been going towards the debt all of

it all along you would have been done by now. Yeah.
Yeah, probably. Probably.
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Might not be in all states. All right.
Today's question comes from Rick in Michigan. My wife and I have no debt, a fully funded emergency fund, a paid off house, and we have about $150,000 saved for a down payment on our next home.
We follow the Ramsey plan and we are Baby Steps millionaires. Congrats.
We are so close to having enough to pay for the next house in cash between savings and the proceeds from our current house. However, my wife wants to move know these aren't great financial decisions.

I don't want to buy a house in a manner that's not financially responsible and then resent her for pressuring me into it Am I being a jerk here? No, I think you're being a really smart guy and I think you're holding up your end of what you guys said the deal is because when you walk through the baby steps You know that there's seven of them and part of that is you kind of draw this line in the sand and you go, OK, like we're not people that borrow money anymore. Right.
And in this case, it would be really frivolous and stupid for you guys to go into debt for a mortgage when you don't need to. That's just I mean, truly, that's stupid.
You don't need to do it. So I think that you're right.
You have some conversations to have with your wife. something is pulling her in another direction I don't know if it's comparison I don't know if it's something she saw some ladies at church doing I don't know something something is pulling her in a direction houses quit looking at houses until you have the money when you go look at a nicer house you come home and your brain you have to get house fever true true and you have to take like cold showers and stuff to get rid of it.
It'll destroy your brain. It'll rot your brain.
And so that's what happens. I mean, Instagram or physically visiting the house or looking at the Monzillo or whatever else, quit doing that.
Don't go test drive a car when you've got the money to buy it. All it does is stir you up and cause you to act like a four-year-old.
That's such a good point. You're right.
They're looking at houses too soon. You need to wait until you have the money.
Yeah, yeah. Just save up, and then when we're ready to make the move, then we'll start talking about, you know, looking, and this is the budget we have, and we don't need to look at houses more expensive than the money we have.

It's a simple thing because it causes us. No, honey, the process that got us here to a millionaire at our age was to get out of debt, house and everything.
I cannot go back into debt. I can't do do it and and it's not an act of love towards you for me to cave and do something that's not good for our future and our family so no yeah she's i'm reading this again she's desperate she's like oh she saw something i'm guarantee you she got the fever oh yeah laura's in tampa florida hey laura merry christmas hey merry christmas dave and jade i am so excited to be talking to you guys happy to talk to you what's up well my husband and i are baby steps millionaires and i have you guys to thank for that so i really appreciate everything you're doing my question yeah my question is uh given my disability, I'm wondering if you think I can successfully start and run a franchise as long as I start debt-free.
And if not, is there anything else that I can do to earn six figures ever again? What is your disability? I acquired a brain injury about six years ago, and I haven't worked since. I was a marketing director, and I coached independent contractors, taught producing independent contractors in real estate, and I've got these great skill sets that are just kind of sitting here with me, and it's driving me crazy.
Well, what are the limitations that you face because of the brain injury? Sure. So I can work about two hours a day, about four to five days a month.
I have really bad days where I can't get out of bed. And then I have some mild cognitive impairments.
I make more mistakes than I used to before. Yeah, those, I mean, there's a lot of chronic conditions, but that's what really applies to the work situation.
And what type of franchise are you trying to open up? Well, we have a cleaner at our house and she's fantastic. I was thinking, I know that she's interested in talking with me, but if I could bring her on as a GM in residential cleaning services and her portfolio comes with us, that maybe that's an option.
Okay and so you're saying I can have her hire a bunch of cleaners and I'll just run the thing and she's my partner? That's where my mind is right now. Interesting.
I'm not gonna lie I'm hung up on the two hours a day four to five days a month. I'm not saying that your your screen says is it possible to make six figures again I think so um okay but this is definitely a limitation uh Dave what do you think you can work two hours a day correct my brain starts to cognitively I start to decline after about two hours of problem solving and when I make more mistakes, and, you know, things get a lot harder for me.
Okay. So whatever it is you're going to run, obviously we have to be able to do it with that number of hours.
Yeah, yeah. And then everything else has to be delegated to the rest of the team, And can you make six figures? Absolutely, you can make six figures.
But I don't know if it's in house cleaning or not. I don't know about that.
But I think you've figured out what we've got to work with here now. And so what we have to do is we have to have something that makes that we can leverage those two hours into to lead others to run things on the other six hours a day out of eight that that the place is running and I'm not running it.
What made you choose house cleaning? Is that something you're passionate about and know about, or is it just because you have someone who is a possible partner? Exactly. I know that daily operations is where I need someone to take over so that I can do more of the high-level stuff of scaling a business.
So she's the only person I have in mind as a potential GM, and that's her expertise. But that's not my passion at all.
Yeah. I would not build something that you didn't have passion about because it's going to be too hard.
Whether you're facing brain injury or just doing a small business is hard. Number one.
Number two, I would not build something that is dependent upon a single individual. I want a concept that works, and then I'll look for the individual to plug into it.
And if that individual doesn't work, I'll plug a different individual into it. But we don't do org charts in our organization charts in Ramsey based on the person that's here.
We do the organization chart based on the proper way to run the business, and then

the people that are here populate that chart. So every time I built something for, built a job for someone, that's really messed me up, because then that person leaves and you're screwed.
Right. I think I'm in a place of just pulling straws, because I just want something.
I appreciate the ambition, and you do have capacity to do something. But don't, you know, there's no rush.
You're millionaires. You're okay.
You're not, you know, it's not like you need the money to pay the bills. You just need something to do because, you know, you're a doer.
And so that's a good thing. But let's take the steps and say, all right, what am I passionate about? What can I plug into? How can I build this out in such a way that we're backfilling for these deficits, but we're utilizing the gift that I do have, which is very powerful two hours a day.
And some people don't work but two hours a day anyway. They just sit around the rest of the time.
Do you think franchise is still then a path? I don't think franchise answers your question. What answers your question is building a system of some kind.
It could be a franchise. But what you're looking for is you just need a duplicatable system of some kind that you can delegate out and run.
And hang on, I'm going to send you the assessment for Ken Coleman's Finding the Work You're Wired to Do and send you the book as well. I think you'll enjoy that, and it may spur some ideas.
This is The Ramsey Show. All right, Dave, you have some strong opinions.
Possibly, yeah. Yeah, I think so.
Okay, because you really prefer credit unions over big banks. So why is that? Well, credit unions, for one thing, are non-profit, which means that the members, the customers, own

the credit union.

So any profits that the credit union makes goes back into customer pricing.

So you get better interest rate on savings, cheaper checking, and so on, that kind of

thing.

But what's more important than that, though, is the fact that the customer is the owner

changes the spirit on the credit union. So I find very few credit unions that aren't very customer centric.
Yes. Well, and I think we have found one that is incredible and that's Fairwinds.
They are an incredible credit union that is really out with the heart to help the customer. You know, that's why we're partnering with them because they've got a scope to be able to handle the Ramsey audience and they're the right kind of people with the right kind of values.
And they've done a really, really good job with customer service. And the deals that they're offering, the Ramsey tribe is incredible.
Yeah, absolutely. And you're right.
Their customer service is unbelievable. Winston and I just signed up and we got an account.
And I'm not kidding. It took less than five minutes.
It was so user-friendly. The step-by-step approach was unbelievable.
And then the next day, my phone rings and it says Fairwinds on my phone. So I answered it and talked to someone there and they said, yeah, they give calls to every new customer.
And so again, they just really care about your experience. And I so, so appreciate that.
So again, you guys, I know it can be a pain to switch banks or to open up new accounts, but Fairwinds, again, they make it so easy. Plus anything that you can do at a traditional branch, you can do with them at fairwinds.org or on their app.
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Open phones at 888-825-5225. Brian is in Atlanta.
Hey, Brian, how are you? I'm all right. Thanks for having me.
Sure. What's up? I recently found some of your videos scrolling Facebook and started listening to some of your stuff.
I haven't done any of the things that you talk about, but I'm trying to get started. I recently bought a truck.
It was a horrible decision that I didn't know better at the time. And I'm a prime example of just because you make more money doesn't mean you fix the problem if you don't know how to spend it.
Because I doubled my income three years ago. And celebrated it with a truck payment.
I did. And I've just steadily gone downhill.

And I've been trying to sell it,

but I owe a little bit more than it's worth because I took the hit of depreciation on a brand new truck.

Man.

How much did you pay for that truck?

Over 60 grand financed.

No money down.

Man, oh, man.

I was raised that credit was everything,

and I've worked my butt off to have really good credit,

and it's done nothing but hurt me.

Well, I have an opportunity because the truck's a lemon and Toyota Corporation is going to have to buy it back. However, the state I'm in has a 20 cents per mile deduction for depreciation and that's going to mean I have to pay a little bit over eight grand just for them to buy out my loan.
I don't have a grant sitting in the bank. That would be a loan that I'd have to get just to get out of this law.
But you would be, um, trading an eight grand loan for a $60,000 loan?

Yeah, I got like $46,000 left on it, yes.

Okay.

But I have the credit.

I can go to the bank and sign the payment and get a signature loan for eight grand.

It's just, is it the right move?

And then they pay off the loan or they take the truck?

They pay off the loan and take the truck.

So did you sell your truck for $46,000 then? Could I? No, I've had it for sale for $46,000 for a while. Oh, okay.
All right. So it's not, what's it worth? It's, last time I looked, it's about $40,000.
Trading in, I think, mid-30s. The value plummeted on these things because of all the recalls got it uh and it just it killed the value of these trucks so they're you're getting a better deal selling it back to them i think so yeah it's just you know i'm trying trying to yes i would rather be eight thousand dollars in debt than forty six thousand dollars in debt i mean it's similar to what we would tell anybody if they were upside down in a car.
We tell them to go to the bank, get a loan, clear the difference, and get something in cash. And this is very similar to that.
The only difference is your buyer happens to be Toyota, but yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.
And how quick is all this coming through? I have a bunch of documents I have to get together and send to them to get an offer to find out what they're actually willing to pay for the truck. But it'll probably be the first week or so of January.
Oh, so they'll cut you a check pretty quick then. Yeah, they're going to cut it to the bank.
That's what I mean. I got to pay the difference.
That's what I mean. Do.
Do you have, do you have, yes, I would do that deal. Yeah.
And,

and,

and you might have something,

I don't know,

just talking to you,

you might have something laying around that you could sell to get the money to clear the difference without taking out a loan.

Just a thought.

And you got to have to get a little truck of some kind,

a little $5,000 or something to get around in.

Oh no,

that sounds,

that guy sounds like he's got a lot of little things with engines laying around that he could sell.

Just kind of got that feeling.

Adams in Spokane. Hey Adam, welcome to the Ramsey Show.
Thank you very much. How can I help? So I have a question about interest-bearing loans.
My understanding is that interest-bearing loans between brothers is prohibited. If I put my money in a savings account and I'm getting 4% interest back, am I just removing that responsibility from my loan because now the bank has been charging another believer interest using my money? You're not in charge of the bank and the bank is not a brother.
Well, what if the bank is being run by believers? It's a bank is an institution it's not the employees if an individual we can have a discussion about an individual loaning an individual money but institutions don't have souls and i promise you banks don't have souls right but then on the back end of that if somebody goes goes to a bank, like if I were to go to a bank and borrow money for a mortgage, I'm using the money of other believers. Am I enabling them to charge interest? How do you know that? They didn't loan you the money, though.
Right. The bank pooled a whole bunch of people's money, and so I don't know who the money belongs to.
Exactly. So you can't make that judgment.
Again, you can't make that judgment. Right.
It just seems like that's a way to sort of obfuscate what's happening so that removes responsibility from anybody. No, that's not the intent.
The intent is, that's not the intent of the Scripture to start with. And banks didn't all get together and go, you know, there is this line in Deuteronomy, and to get around that, we're going to create this whole system.
No, they didn't do that, I promise. They didn didn't think a thing about deuteronomy not once and um so no that's not you're not doing anything wrong it's like saying um if i do business if i buy a pizza at pizza hut but they take credit cards for other people to buy a pizza and put them in debt am i supporting visa putting people in debt through Pizza Hut? No, you're not.
You're just buying a pizza. Yeah, yeah.
You know, you're really working hard here to be guilty of something. That's a good way to put it, Dave.
Well, it's something that I don't really hear anybody talk about, so I'm sort of... I'll help you.
I'll tell you why, okay? Because the scripture that you're referring to does not say interest in the Hebrew. It only says it in the King James.
The rabbis in Judaism do not teach what you're talking about. Thus, Jewish people have been in the banking business from day one, okay, from the time there's been Jewish people.
So that most scholars, even evangelical scholars, will tell you that the actual Hebrew word there is better translated usury than it is interest. And so it's not really a situation of Christians can't charge interest at all.
Usury is the overcharge of interest. Christians should not overcharge interest.
And so there were states decades ago that had usury laws that prevented interest rates from being above a certain level because of that. And it came from that scripture.
But the word usury there is a, when you do the word studies on it and you get down into the scholarship on it,

is more akin to overcharging of interest than it is the charging of interest. So you could make the case that credit cards are usurious because they're 18 to 28 percent.
That's a usurious, an overcharging of interest rates. Probably can't make that case with a mortgage rate.
and I can make the case that you shouldn't be borrowing money at all

because rates. Probably can't make that case with a mortgage rate.
And I can make the case that you shouldn't be borrowing money at all because there's not a single positive reference in the Bible to debt. But I can't tell you that borrowing money is a sin.
As a matter of fact, I'm positive that the Bible never once refers to debt as a sin. It refers to it as lacking in sense.
You're a slave. It's a curse upon you if you go into debt.
All these negative connotations, but never once is it a sin issue, and never once is it mentioned as a salvation issue. It's not.
It's just instructional from Scripture to avoid debt. It's instructional in Scripture to have a budget.

It's instructional from Scripture to live on less than you make, to not cosign. There are instructions all through Scripture regarding money.
This is one of them, to not overcharge particularly your brother a usurious amount of interest. But, dude, when you fall down the Pharisee rabbit hole

where you're trying to unpack every, uncross every T and every jot and tittle, you really can't pull the thread long enough to keep the sweater intact. It doesn't work.
And so walk in grace, brother, walk in grace and be good and be kind, be compassionate, be wise. And don't try to figure out how the banking system is somehow built on dodging one Bible scripture that doesn't even mean that in the Hebrew.
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That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Deloney. Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships.
I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Jade Walshaw. Number one best-selling author, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today.
Open phones at 888-825-5225. Zachary's in Houston.
Hey, Zachary, how are you? Hello, I'm doing all right. How are you, Dave? Better than I deserve.
Merry Christmas. How can we help? So I'm in a bit of a situation that I'm looking for some guidance on.
My wife and I just started your program about six months ago. We're $43,000 worth of consumer debt down so far.
Good. And I just lost my job a few days ago.
Oh, no, right before Christmas. That sucks.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was pretty exciting to get a layoff right before Christmas.
What do you do? What kind of work were you doing? Construction, superintendent. was making about 160 000 a year uh i've got a job lined up to start again in january that's good for 170 oh um well this worked out to kind of manipulate your system a little bit for my own peace of mind and my wife and I are debating I want to

stop baby step two right now because we have two vehicles in our house that's all that's left and I want to do a six-month emergency fund and then go back to attacking everything um that's just because you're feeling some type of way because you lost your job correct

did you get severance

no

I got a way off

okay so how many how many checks are how many checks are you gonna miss theoretically just to okay which so where's the panic but it definitely has you nervous yeah yeah makes you nervous but worse there's no panic. Well, for a long time before I took this job, I tried to out-earn my stupidity, and that didn't work.
Yeah. So I took the job, and like I said, we got pretty serious about it six months ago.
I don't know. It's just PCI.
What does your wife make? Nothing. We're a single-family income.
We're a single-income family. No, I would not reorganize the baby steps because you got scared once.
So you just keep going and tackling the cars and then move on to it? I mean, if you push pause on everything for a couple weeks while you get your paycheck started again? That's fine. That's fine.
But are we going to, because of the layoff, are we going to, in January, not pay down on the cars and instead build up an emergency fund because we got laid off back in December? No, uh-uh. No.
That's just being, that's fear-based. Yeah.

It is.

It's also not wise.

Well, that's the reason for the calls.

Yeah. To get the other food.

Yeah.

How much do you owe on the cars?

Well, $13,000 on my truck and $24,000 on her car.

Okay.

All right.

So we're not bad. Sometimes when i flip this around a little bit it wakes my spirit up and uh i shock myself a little bit so i'm going to do that to you okay instead of building your emergency fund because you're scared sell both cars because you're scared that's good you ain't that scared well all of a sudden it got silent all of a sudden here's the kicker here's the kicker that we've been waiting for that hasn't happened yet i own a little bit over a million dollars worth of real estate that's been on the market between uh eight different houses and when interest rates spiked sales stopped um so we've kind of been waiting for one of those to sell, to just go ahead and pay everything off and be done.
See, all of a sudden you start thinking different when I sold your cars. That's what I did.
I do that kind of stuff to myself because what that does is it says, okay, you're not really that scared. You're just trying to intellectually manipulate a system that's not really broken.
So work the system, dude. In fairness, I do have photos out to a dealership to buy my truck because I have a ton of equity in that.
That's good. Hey, didn't you say – I really wasn't suggesting you sell them.
I'm just saying if you're that scared, that the move you would make yeah but you're not that

scared is what that points out so that because then all of a sudden I found out we got a million dollars where the real estate floating around in this conversation that didn't come up when we first got laid off a few minutes ago so you know no you're gonna leapfrog through all these baby steps when that other stuff sells so fast anyway and no you don't need to sell your truck and no you don't need to stop if you want to take a heartbeat take one month off of don't pay down on debt pile up cash for one month out of your budget whatever you can live on living on nothing and then reapply that cash to the debt at the when you get comfortable again the other side of that and start push a pause button on the baby steps then push play again later on that's fine but no we're not going to do them out of order because you got laid off yeah and you really have to think through this because the the point of part of the point of the order of these steps is you want to actually finish paying off the debt if you were to do these out of order number one it'd take you forever to save up the three to six months because you're still paying payments every month so it would elongate that part of the process and then people would be like oh i got three to six months i can just let that debt simmer the car doesn't really kind of count yeah it's not real day and then before you know it you haven't done anything and so do it the right way it works for a reason and you know you're not the exception of what i would do is i would take this layoff and the fear that goes with that is my motivator to kick this thing into gear and get finished boom that's i'm just going i'm not i'm going to use that as my push button jaden's with us and uh i'll bring jaden up in a minute here so here's another thing the um you guys listening out there you if you've listened to the show for a long time, you've heard this happen before. And Jade, you alluded to it a minute ago.
The Bible says, out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. So what's going on inside of you comes out of your mouth before you realize it, in other words.
And so it often happens on the show when you and I, or any of the other personalities ask someone, okay, how much debt have you got? And they give us like their credit card debt and something else. I'm like, and how much do you own your car? And they, oh yeah.
Yeah. Cause they didn't have that in the debt column in their head.
Yeah, that's right. And so out of that, what that tells us is in their heart, that's not debt.
That's right. Because it's so freaking normalized that you've normalized the backache to where you've always had a backache.
And you go, oh, yeah, I forgot about that ache. Doc says, what hurts? Oh, nothing.
What about your back? Oh, yeah, yeah, because I've gotten used to that backache, you know,

and it doesn't no longer feel that way.

And so they do that with student loans too.

That's right.

They put it in a different column in their brain, store it back in the corner,

and how much debt you got, and how much on the student loans?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

And so don't recategorize this stuff because society has.

Because society is stupid.

Normal is broke in America.

Looking good, driving good, a student loan that's been around so long you think it's a pet.

And you recategorize these things in your brain.

Don't do that.

Don't do that.

Put it all right where it needs to be, in the crosshairs and pull the trigger.

Knock it out.

Knock it out, baby.

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Jade Walshaw, Ramsey Personality, is my co-host today. Open phones at 888-825-5225.
Jaden is in Casper, Wyoming. Hi, Jaden.
Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Thank you for taking my call, fellas.
Sure. Merry Christmas.
What's up? My wife's been pestering me for quite some time now to take her on a vacation.

I'm not sure right now is the time to do it.

We're both pretty young. I'm 25.
She's 21.

We got a little one on the way here before too long,

and we're getting ready to purchase a property we intend to build on. Okay.
Do you guys have debt? No debt, no debt. We've been very fortunate in that way.
Community college educated. Okay.
What's your household income? I bring about $50,000 home after taxes, and she brings about $20,000. And that's part of the issue is that next year her income will be going away she's a preschool teacher now but with the little one she's going to stay home do you have an emergency fund saved we do the thing that concerns me is that after the down payment on the property that's that's what we'll be left with is with our emergency fund and sort of take that vacation we'd be kind of having to dig into that a little bit well a vacation's not an emergency so i would not dig into the emergency fund to take an emergency to take a vacation ever um what does she want to spend she wants to go somewhere warm you know wyoming this of year, you want to kind of leave it a little bit.

About 2,000.

2,000?

Okay.

So have you run out the numbers on what?

Here's the thing.

I'm not saying no, and I'm not saying when, but you can decide when.

You can look at this and go, okay, my wife wants to take a vacation.

We've never taken a vacation.

We're debt-free.

We have an emergency fund.

We're also trying to move in this house. What can that look like and when is the time to take it because if you just tell her no and you kind of just swat it away like a gnat she's gonna get irritated um well no that's not your position anyway it's your position for two she's not a child okay the two of you ought to sit down as two adults and go, okay, yeah, vacation is a good thing.
Emergency fund's a good thing. Having a baby's a good thing.
Buying this piece of ground's a good thing. None of these are bad things.
Now, where do they fit in our lives with our goals as grownups? You know, you can't just be a kid on the cereal aisle throwing a fit. You have to be like an adult, both of you.
And so I don't want you being her daddy and have to talk her off the ledge. I want her to grow up and look at it and say, as a grown woman who has a child, what is responsible for me? Yeah, I want to take a vacation.

I'd love to take a vacation.

But as a grown woman looking at this, I can't afford to do it right this second

because I'm not going to be working next year after the baby comes.

Or as a grown woman looking at this, I've got a child on the way.

I really want to do this.

We do have $86,000 in the emergency fund.

We probably can go ahead and take a vacation because you've overfunded the emergency fund bubba i don't know what's in this emergency fund but i mean she needs to participate in this decision as a grown-up not as someone who um has a parent that they're married to that's right but and if she's laid out how you guys can do this then and it's wise and it's wise then you've also got to be open you gotta be a grown-up though it can't be i want it i deserve it you know i don't bull crap that's what 14 year olds do that's not what grown women do grown men do no um so no you have to be emotionally mature and say what is good for our family and if in the midst of that we can do this reasonably and we don't leave our family vulnerable with no emergency fund because we went on vacation that would be stupid yeah that's not or leave our family vulnerable since you're going to be quitting work and staying home with the child and you can't make your bills because you went on vacation last winter because it's cold in Wyoming, which is not a shock to anyone in Wyoming for sure. And so, you know, that kind of – so, I mean, what I want to do is just pull her into the conversation as a grown woman, not as someone who's, I can't get my husband to let me do stupid stuff.
I mean, this is just, that's ridiculous. That's not a conversation you want to have in a marriage.
It needs to be the two of you are, we have this child, we have this future, what makes sense. And yes, vacations are part of the equation.
I got no issue with that at all. But where they fit is your point, Jade.
Absolutely. Where and when.
Yeah, they don't strike me as people who are not smart with their money. They've paid off their debt.
They've got an emergency fund. Looks like they're trying to do this house the right way.
I have a feeling that he's laser focused and sometimes has to remember, like, hey, we can do some things sometimes. That's just my spidey sense.

Could be.

Could be.

Yeah.

Could be loosening the nerd up a little here.

Loosening up the nerd.

Yeah, but she needs to do that with reason.

That's right.

Not with emotion.

That's right.

Yeah.

And that's a fair request for a grown-up.

Steven is in Little Rock, Arkansas.

Hi, Steven.

Welcome to the Ramsey Show.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas. How are y'all? Better than we deserve, sir.
How can we help? Okay, so here's my situation. I'm 20 years old.
I'm engaged and I'm planning on getting married in June. And that being said, we're looking to get an apartment together in June because that's what you do.
You move in together once you get married. I'm completely debt free.
She has a little bit of student loan debt, but that's kind of, uh, beside the point. The question for me is my grandma opened up a credit card for me to use strictly as a gas card.
And that's my only credit card. And she always pays it on time.
But that being said, I being said i have she pays it oh you're 20 years old why's your grandmother pay your card that that was her way of saying that she wants to support me through college that was her gift to me and so i can totally afford my own gas but that's just good if she wanted to give to me. But I know that I want to get this apartment, and I really like the sound of what y'all talk about, of letting your credit score roll over to nothing.
But I'm afraid that if I say, hey, Grandma, thank you, but let's close this card. I appreciate the gesture.
I can pay for this, that my credit score will plummet, but it won't flip and disappear before that in june when i'm trying to get an apartment honey you don't have to have a credit score to get an apartment okay that's that's that's mythology we've done this about six times in ramsey in the last six or eight years one of the personalities will jump on the phone and call 15 apartment complexes and say hey i'm moving'm moving to Nashville. Do you guys, I don't have a credit score because I'm just out of school and I got a zero credit score.
Do you guys rent to people without a credit score? Nine out of ten say they do. Some of them, a couple of them want an extra deposit.
But most of them are just, no, it's no big deal. Come on over.
That's just complete mythology that people have spread out there among your age group. It's just not true.
Exactly. Nine out of 10 don't care if you have a credit score.
Awesome. I did not know that.
I was under the impression that my credit score would plummet, and that might jeopardize whether or not we'd be able to move back your your credits when you stop borrowing money your credit score will go away um it's not going to plummet it's just going to disappear um but to dave's point you're he's right there are plenty of places that you don't need a credit score to go and so you'll just do your due diligence and find one yeah yeah just you know can't rent to those can't rent from because they require one. I can rent from these people over here, though.
And by the way, that's a great litmus test because when you move into an apartment, you want to have a super or whoever's in charge that uses their brain because things are going to happen. You're going to need to talk to them about things and you want something fixed, right? You want somebody who uses their brain.
So that's a great way to start. Yeah.
And if the only way they approve you is by a number, that's not using your brain by definition. Yeah.
Very good. Good stuff.
Yeah. You can look those calls up.
We've had different personalities do this over the years and they're on the YouTube channel and you can see them making phone calls to the apartments and it's recorded and you can hear the conversation. Yeah.
George did one on the fine print. Remember? Yeah.
That's the one I remember. And he did.
He went out and he was able to call him and there were plenty that did. You just have to call around a little bit.
It's not going to be the first. It may not be the first doorstep that you go to.
That's all. Yeah.
And yes, you need to. It'll be good for your marriage to get off the grandmother doll.
I know, that's right. Wow, good for you.
Good for you, Stephen. Well done, sir.
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RamseySolutions.com slash store. Chris is in Seattle.
Hi, Chris. Welcome to the Ramsey Show.
Thank you much. Sure.
What's up? Well, I'm calling in to understand kind of what my focus should be. I've got a three-year-old kid at home.
I've got a wife who's been battling cancer for the last 10 years roughly, but it's taken a tough right-hand turn in the last few months and gotten different prognoses ranging, a couple years to maybe five at most.

So trying to figure out what should my focus financially be on whether making the here and now as enjoyable as we can versus trying to make sure we're still saving for the future of my son and I.

Wow, I'm sorry.

It's tough.

How old are you guys?

Thirty-eight, thirty-seven. I've got a three-year-old son at home.
We've been together for almost 20 years now. Wow.
Okay. Well, the turn of events, the prognosis change, would change my strategy, I think.

Okay.

Because you're saying they've put her on a clock and it's a shorter one. Yeah.
Yeah. We had some new re-diagnosis is kind of progression of disease.
Okay. All right.
well what we teach folks to do

and it's

you're not Okay. All right.

Well, what we teach folks to do is you're not working the baby steps.

You're fighting cancer.

So what I would do if I were in your shoes, what do you make?

Together we're just over $250, so I'm making about $130 or so myself.

I would just pile cash as high as I can pile it. Okay.
And do nothing else. I mean, I would do that with the same intensity that I would have getting out of debt or something if you were in a more normal situation.
And so, and when we're piling the cash as high as we can pile it, I've got two things I want to, three things I want to accomplish with that pile of cash. One is obviously any kind of care or trials or anything that you need to write checks for, you write them, right? And so we'll take care of her.
In other that's that's the first goal of the pile of cash the second goal would be to do um some things uh to make memories um and you know the the trip you want to do or the uh thing you need to purchase to make things more comfortable around there right now um The thing you've got to be careful with on that one is that you don't go out of control with that. Because in the name of that, people do some really stupid things.
You know, like, I don't want to hear later that you spent $200,000 on some trip. That's not what I'm talking about, okay? But I am talking about, okay, there's some things that if we were just, if everybody was healthy and we were leaning in and getting out of debt, we wouldn't be doing this thing, but we're going to do it in this case instead, whatever this thing is.
But reasonable dollar amounts and not getting sucked into, in the name of we have a short clock, we're going to do, we can get away with anything because you can't because you've got to live with it later, right?

So anyway, do some things like that that are good and strategic, wise things. Do anything for her to take care of her.
Fight cancer. Do some things for the family.
And then the third thing is you're piling up cash for some day.

What day?

I don't know that this is behind you. You just take that money and push play on the baby steps and you throw it at the debt and you go after the debt then and you go, you know, you go work your baby steps when you're the other side of this.
She's healed and she's here or she's healed and she's in heaven. I don't know which one it is, but either way, one of those two, and this is in your rear view mirror, so to speak, and then you start executing a good financial plan at that point.
But right now, we're just going to stack cash to fight cancer, have a good life, and any cash that's left over in that stack is not wasted because we'll be able to use it to start the new version of our journey later.

Does that all sound fair?

That does, yeah.

I mean, up to this point, we've made a pretty good progress, I'd say,

financially with everything and have been living fairly frugally.

It's just a matter of.

I don't care if you save $200,000 is what I'm saying. Just pile it up.
There's no downside to that. And then if you want to fly to Paris and do a clinical of some kind, fine.
Book a first-class ticket and let's go do a clinical trial in Paris. I don't care.
I'm making that up. I have no idea.
But I mean, you know, but the I've certainly got friends that have fought cancer situations and found it very handy to have a pile of cash while they were doing it. That's what I'm saying.
That's right. So, man, I'm so sorry, Chris.
I hate that for you guys. So sorry.
How old is your baby? Three years old.

Okay.

Wow.

So it's hard for him to grasp other than just mommy's sick.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Wow.

So she's down right now then.

Well, we just started new treatment on last Saturday,

so it's in it kind of wait and see how things react.

But she's going to be stepping away from work after the new year

and kind of play up a year from there.

And the new treatment, just a beefed-up chemo or what?

It's kind of the next new thing on the line.

It's kind of attack things from a different angle

and see if we can halt progress again and hold it as long as we can.

There's new side effects that are unknown how she'll react at this point. Tough stuff.
You know, the cure is brutal sometimes, huh? Yeah. Well, Chris, I'm sorry.
But yeah, I really wouldn't focus on any financial goals other than just being wise with the cash flow so that we're able to stack cash to those three goals I talked about. Okay.
Okay. Just, just give you, give yourself a lot of grace, a lot of room and live this out and, and, you know, lean into it, fight cancer with everything, every fiber of your being.
And that includes the fibers of the dollar bills coming out of your wallet. Same thing.
Wow. That's tough stuff.
There are times though. I i mean it's good to reiterate there are things that pop up in life that uh supersede what you're trying to do financially yeah you know you need to you're in the middle of a storm you push pause that's right you don't work the baby steps in the storm whatever the storm is i mean you lose your job and um oh well you can't you don't have the income to fight it you know you don't you somebody's ill like this Somebody's ill like this.
You've got to stop and focus on that. There's a tragedy of some kind or another.
You have to stop for a minute. You do.
And get your bearings, get your feet back on the ground, and then decide from there what the next steps are and where you go. That's not a baby step.

It's just push, pause, and walk away.

And use the resources that you have coming in,

your income, to navigate the storm,

to be ready and to push your way all the way through it.

So, yeah, that's a big deal.

Chris, I'm so sorry.

That's tough, very tough.

We'll be praying for you, brother, and for her, obviously. Very, very cool.
Open phones here at 888-825-5225. I co-signed with a girlfriend of six years on a car.
Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
Now we've been broken up for two years. Uh-oh.
And she late on multiple payments uh-oh she is not eligible for refinancing because of her credit uh-oh we're going to coffee baby doll you're selling your car you don't i'm gonna sue you because you're destroying my credit basically yeah see you a mistake. You signed with your ex-boyfriend on

your car and now you can't pay the car. So now you're selling it.
People do not buy crap with people you are not married to. Hello.
I know that's right. Wow.
This is the Ramsey show. hey guys good news pre-sale is on now for my new book, build a business you love.
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If you want to hear the next segment of the Ramsey show after this one's over, you'll do that on the Ramsey Network app. That's the only place you can hear it except for a few talk radio stations here or there.
So in the Ramsey Network app, you can download for free, and it not only gives you lots of access to portions of this show and other shows that don't necessarily make the air, so you get a, you know, kind of a behind-the-scenes look. You can search the show for certain topics and find callers calling in about certain topics that's pretty cool and you can also send us a uh an email question all right today's ramsey network app question is from davy he says i'm wondering why baby step one isn't start your first budget and giving every dollar a name.
Then baby step two would be save your thousand dollar emergency fund and so on. Since you always emphasize budgeting first, why isn't that number one? I don't know why this is making me laugh.
I mean, yeah, budgeting is a budget. You're right.
Budgeting is the foundation of everything we teach. Matter of fact, some folks in here that I work with, we call like baby step zero or just kind of like there is that thought to it.
It is the foundation. But I mean, listen, the reason it's not like that is because it's not like that.
No, the reason it's not like that is it's not a financial milestone. It's a tool and a practice that hits a financial milestone.
All the baby steps are financial milestones. So it's not a financial measure.
It's the same reason insurance, you know, by health insurance is not a baby step. It's not a financial milestone.
It's something you need to do. By life insurance is not a baby step.
It's something you need to do. Do a will.
You do it the minute you find out about it. Doing a will is not a baby step.
It's a tool. It's an item.
It's a practice. It's a habit.
It's a thing you need to do that causes you to hit the financial milestones. That's good.
That's why it's not a baby step. And so all of those other things fall in the same category as the budget does.
There are things you need to be doing. Living on less than you make is something you need to do, but it's not a baby step because it's not a financial milestone.
$1,000 is a financial milestone. Getting all your debts paid off except your home, baby step two, paying them off smallest to largest in that order using the debt snowball is a financial milestone.
Finishing your emergency funds, a financial milestone. 15% of your household income, measurable amount of money going into retirement is a financial milestone.
Addressing kids' college needs in baby step five is a financial milestone. Six, paying off your house is a financial milestone.
All of these are money things that we're measuring as we make progress on money. They're not the thing, get a job, take extra jobs are not a financial milestone, but they're things you need to do to create, you know, create an income would be necessary.
That's right. You know, in order to do these things.
So increase your income. You know, these are all tactical things you do to hit the milestones.
That's why it's not. And I think the question was semi-serious.
So you're not going to rewrite? The baby steps? You're not going to re-release them? Not today. On Davey's plan? We're going to stay with Dave, not Davey.
There you go. That's what we're going to do.
All right. Emanuel is with us in Dallas, Texas.

Hi, Emanuel.

What's up?

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

So the numbers, just to get through it quickly or efficiently,

the numbers are $94,000 in debt, $56,000 from a car.

The car max value would be 40 to 43K.

And I'm paying $1,200 per month for that.

Ooh, why?

Yeah, so yeah, right.

Exactly, exactly.

So my story is kind of like a five-year timeline.

Straight out of college, I moved to California

so I can continue my college relationship after working at home. The job I had was miserable, and there just wasn't any growth in it.
So I decided to just take the jump. I followed love, and things were working out.
I ended up becoming a mortgage loan officer, and so I made great money at a young age, making over $10K a month. But that didn't last for a long time.
The industry died because the brakes crashed. After that, I got into recruiting.
Same thing. I made amazing money.
I was making $50 an hour, and I was sugar daddy. Everything was fine.
But then the economy, you know, it crashed, that mass layoff again. And so now, you know, now I'm pretty much pretty much just i've been doing everything it's not a work ethic problem it's uh things just haven't really been swinging my way but i've still been working and it's just kind of like a paycheck to paycheck situation and yet you still you bought a 56 000 car what's your question uh that so so that that no no that that is a result of like me having to deal with like family dynamics and family issues um so through all of through all of that wait a minute i'm sorry there are no family dynamics that require a 56 000 car that's absolute bullcrap uh okay okay so you you couldn't you had to impress somebody in the family i mean what kind of ridiculous family dynamic causes you to buy a $60,000 car you can't afford?

Right, exactly.

So if I could explain, I'm dealing with like a super difficult mother-in-law.

Are you married?

Are you married?

No, we're engaged. Okay.
Got it. And she told you to buy the 56 000 car no no that was as a result of that was just like i so i keep having to put my foot down with the mother-in-law because things just it's kind of a situation like she does like things that are just like not acceptable'm so sorry.
What the crap does this have to do with you owning a car? What's the car? I'm calling for clarity. I know.
But what does a mother-in-law have to do with you buying a car? I don't understand. It was crazy.
All of this is happening while we are two under two, I have a daughter that's two years old and my son is two months old. Okay.
So I got laid off. You got laid off.
You got two young kids. And it wasn't your wife that wanted you to get the car and you felt pressure from married or your fiance.
I got the car because I told her I don't ever want to have to like rely on my mother-in-law because i've been living with them because my family lives but not relying on your mother-in-law does not require a 56 000 car honey yeah we got it we got to we got to reframe it we got to reframe what's in your mind because i think in your mind you thought somehow that was going going to give you some sort of freedom. I don't know how, but maybe you were borrowing her vehicle.
I don't know. But the truth is.
You could get a $5,600 car. Yes.
You got to sell that car immediately. And have the freedom.
Don't sell it to CarMax because they're not going to give you the best value. You need to do it private sale.
So look it up. My guess is that you'll get pretty close to the $56 that you owe on it.
You have to get out of this immediately. And it sounds like there's not the right boundaries between your fiance's mother and you.
And so you and your fiance are going to have to deal with that. You've got two under two.
So I heard you say that I think you were laid off for between jobs. So you've got to get a job very quickly.
So your homework list is I sell the car the car private sale I get a job I draw boundaries with the people who are not my parents and even boundaries with this she's not even your in-law yet because you're not married so you need to get married so that's on your list number three no number four is get married this weekend yeah you got a bunch of this crap out of order so um and then you can just look at mother-in-law and go, I, you don't have a vote on my car. You don't get a vote for my car.
Immediately. Yes.
Yeah. Yeah.
And no one has a vote on your car, your wife. And, and she's not even your wife yet.
So let's make it, make her your wife. And then the two of you decide on cars, but a $5,600 car will allow you to, uh, not borrow other people's car.
And you need to, and this is for anybody listening who feels discombobulated, like my guy who was just on the phone, you got to sit down and have a moment with yourself. Maybe you have a journal, maybe you just, you got, if you don't sit and say, what was my part in all of this? You won't change.
If you're saying, well, it happened because we got two under two and it happened because I got laid off and it happened because grandma and it happened because my mother-in-law. You're never then you're never at fault.
And that means you never have to change. And that's not how life works.
You're going to have to sit down and go, OK, what did I do? I'm the one that said, yeah, I'll sign my name right here. That's the truth.

You're the one who signed for the car, so you're responsible for it.

I felt pressured and I made a stupid decision.

Boom.

There we go.

Easy does it.

Done that.

I've done that myself.

We've all done that. That also helps you to not react to pressure ever again.

That's right.

You won't do it again if you take responsibility for it.

My tolerance for people telling me what to do with my money is pretty low.

Like zero now.

This is The Ramsey Show. What up, what up? It's Dr.
John Deloney from the Dr. John Deloney Show with some amazing news.
The latest episode of United States of Anxiety is available right now exclusively on the Ramsey Network app. This docuseries follows real people from my show as they embark on a 90-day journey to transform their lives, and I personally walk alongside them every step of the way.
Okay, now, here's a sneak peek of what the new episode is all about. And don't forget to click the link in the show notes to download the app.
What's up, Kelsey? So I've lived with crippling anxiety for as long as I can remember. How do I stop it from constantly coming up in different areas of my life? What does crippling anxiety mean? Paint me a picture of that.
All right, so you ready to jump in? I'm ready to jump in. We're going to check in with Kelsey.
30 days, 60 days, 90 days. I cannot even function because I'm just crying.
My mom left us when I was four. I truly felt like for a while I had no family.
She's experiencing things that really hurt a long time ago. Tell me about this boy.
He triggers me a lot. Scared of losing Paul, scared of doing the wrong thing, scared of not being enough.
It just feels like it would be exhausting to be Kelsey. It is.
Whenever somebody's playing whack-a-mole with their anxiety, when it just keeps moving, that tells me the underlying system's not okay. How do I get my inner child out of this relationship? Because I feel like she's running the show.
One of two people that's supposed to never leave took off. I was this burden.
You're a burden, that's right.

To the one person who should carry it, all of it.

Did you ever tell that little girl that it wasn't her fault?

I don't know what to do.

You either

have to choose to let this guy

love you, or you gotta choose to let this guy go.