Be Your Own Hero, Don’t Depend the Government

This is the Ramsey Show. Welcome aboard.
It's where we help you win in your life, specifically winning with your money, winning with your relationships, winning in your work. I'm Kent Coleman.
Rachel Cruz joins me. We're here for you.
888-825-5225 is the phone number. 888-825-5225.
Coming up this hour, of course, your calls. You don't want to miss the end of the hour.
We're going to talk about some very interesting policy proposals that affect your pocketbook. So we won't get political, but we are going to get economical.
We're going to talk about the very, very controversial price control plan that's being bandied about by the Harris campaign. So more on that.
We'll talk about how that affects you, plus your calls. You ready to go? You excited? I've done my homework.
You're going to be very excited about the last part of the hour when I talk price controls. So excited.
I know you're – I do enjoy politics, but we're not going there. We're just going to talk about the facts.
No, no, we're going to talk about the economics of it. Of what's going on, yeah.
We're not going to be ugly. And you'll be great, too.
Well, we'll see. But I just want to know if you'll be paying attention.
We'll see. Heather's going to start us off at Atlanta, Georgia.
Heather, how can we help you today? Hi. I have a question related to mostly, I guess, where to start because I know that I'm not ready for the baby steps yet.
I have kind of overextended myself with the firm loans, and then I have a ton of, well, I wouldn't say a ton, but a good bit of credit card debt. And so what I'm finding now is that I'm like not even paycheck to paycheck.
I'm doing a little bit of gig work on the side outside of my regular job, but it's really just to try to cover the bills where I would be in the negative. Okay.
So yeah, so you're below water, if you will. So getting you above that in a stable place in order then to start the baby steps is kind of what you're saying, which, yeah, it makes total sense.
Okay, so what kind of caused you to get in this situation, Heather? What caused you to get behind and get underwater financially? Well, I recently got a divorce, and so the home and everything I'm in, initially, when I entered that home, it was a double income going into the home. And so now, initially, I was able to kind of keep up with things.
But then I kind of started working closer to home and my pay is not exactly as much but even with that I'm just really seeing

the effects fully now of the aftermath of the divorce and having to pay everything certain things that we got together now I'm paying it all by myself okay so when you guys got divorced what was the and you said the house how did that how did you guys divvy that up what was the what's What's the outcome of that?

So for the House, his name was not put on the deed, even though I initially purchased the house, and I was going to add his name to the deed, but we had an agreement for him to, like, pay the amount for adding his name, but he never did, so his name was never on the deed. So he just kind of walked away not really owing anything.
We didn't have, the only things we had together is furniture, this water system that we got together, and also there's a car that's in my name that he's currently paying for. That he's currently paying for because he's using? Yes.
Okay, so the car's in your name, though. Okay, so for the house, how much is the mortgage a month? It has gone up, and that's another thing.
It's gone up to like $1,550. Okay, and how much do you have left to pay on it and how much is it worth? I have about $202,000, maybe $202,000 left.
Our property value has fluctuated a little bit, but the last time I checked, it was worth about $350,000. Okay.
Are you on an ARM, an adjustable rate mortgage? I don't think so. And I do have also a PMI in there that I've been trying to get rid of because it's been about four years since we've been in the house.
Yeah, I mean, you're well over 20%. Or no, you owe that much.
Yeah, you'll have to get to that 20% value before PMI goes away, which is just the the insurance for the mortgage company How much is your income a month, Heather? How much are you bringing in? So I'm bringing in about $42.50 a month Okay Yeah, I mean I hate to say it, but the house is causing you It is a lot of pain It's not You're not in a terrible spot with The mortgage specifically It is a little bit over that 25% of what we like to see. But are other bills, the upkeep of it, is that drowning you down too? The upkeep of the house? Yes.
Yes. To some extent, we've had, it's me and my son too now, we've had some issues with the air conditioning unit that I've had to get repaired in the past.
And usually like if I get a little extra like income tax, I'll use that on like repairs and things like that. Okay.
Okay. Yeah, I just want to make sure because you are a little bit over on where we like to see your mortgage payment.
And the problem is, just like you said, it was based on a two income household. And when you went down to one, you're feeling those effects.
So Heather, I may, if I were in your position, probably entertain the idea of what would it look like to sell? What would it look like to rent for a season? Until you can again, and you'll take some of that equity. And I would just put it, if you go further with this idea, put it in a high yield savings and hold on to it for a down payment on your next home.
But you may need to downsize, which I know is like a really big decision when I talk about moving. But again, to get your head above water, I don't know, I want you to be able to have a lot of margin and not feel suffocated by this mortgage.
And then the other thing, Heather, is, and I would stop digging into the hole of debt. So wherever you are, I mean, I would cut up the credit cards, not even make it a temptation.
I would stop using the buy now, pay later, affirms and Klarna and all of that. That is eating people's salary.
It is turning into a billion dollar business because companies are making so much off of this because it is a form of debt. It feels harmless, but you end up piling that on.
And just like what you're experiencing, it is payments and that's what's happening. So I would get to the point where your bills are covered, food, shelter, utilities, transportation, and you guys feel like you're in a good spot there and then anything extra you can do to bring in money bringing some of that in and catching up on bills are you late on any of the credit cards I am right now um with one I'm almost two months behind and with another one just a month because okay all this kind of started recently because I started using the affirms to try to cover like toiletries and stuff when I was coming up short versus using the credit cards.
And so it just kind of got out of control. For sure.
Yeah. And it's a slippery slope.
I mean, that is the story of people's lives. I mean, that's exactly what happened.
So, yeah, I mean, if Heather, yeah, I would get in the habit of stop using any of those

and stop digging yourself deeper in, which may mean you're going to be on a really tight budget. And if you hold on the line, Christian's going to pick up and I want to give you Financial Peace University and Every Dollar Premium because to get the basics and really get yourself in a position where you're not behind, you're caught up.
And again, you're taking care of those four walls, the food, shelter, utilities, and transportation. Don't get behind on any of those for the credit cards.
I'd rather you be behind on credit cards than be behind on the mortgage payment. So staying current on your bills that you need to survive and then finding some of that extra margin to catch up on those credit cards and then start the process of saving.
So it's a lot, Heather, I know, and you're doing a great job as a single mom. So again, Christian's going to pick up and we're going to give you some of those resources and tools because it's going to just be this new process, starting this whole new way of looking and even Ken, maybe some of your stuff too for possibly upping income and career.
Yeah, need some income. I actually want to give her a free session.
Christian, let's get her a session with one of our financial coaches as well because she needs to get out of this mess and needs more help. This is The Ramsey Show.
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It's free at netsuite.com slash ramsey. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show.
I'm Ken Coleman. Rachel Cruz joins me.
The phone number for you to jump in. It is your show.
We're here to help you. It's 888-825-5225.
888-825-5225. All right.
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To jump in, let's go to Jack, who joins us in Fort Myers, Florida. Jack, how can we help today? Hey, how are you guys? Good.
Good afternoon. Would you like to just need to jump into it jump right in tell us how we can help this is your moment all right yeah so i'll keep the details straight into the point so i'm 35 years old um and overall uh within the last four years i have built up about $40,000 in credit and loans debt.
Throughout the last couple of years, it looks like the interest rates jumped up to about 28% across the board for me. And my car insurance jumped up to about $1,000 just because of previous history.

And so my bills that I don't really have too much control over, I just need to knock out of the park and get out of here.

I'm struggling with payment strategy, and that is my goal, is to figure out a payment strategy to overcome the obstacles that I have.

Okay, tell me about your income situation.

What do you do for a living and what do you make?

So I have been in the medical field for maybe the last six or seven years

and I recently opened up my own medical billing company

where I do personal contracts with mom-pop shop, chiropractic clinics, and MRI facilities and medical centers. So what are you paying yourself? Right now, it's very unstable.
I'm only collecting about $1,500 to $2,000 a month off of that, and I have another income of $3,000 coming to me, but it's more of a personal friend providing it to me, but it's not going to be sustainable forever. Okay, hold on.
All right, hold on. Just want to make sure I understand this.
You're collecting about $1,500 a month from your business or you're paying yourself $1,500 a month? No, that's how much the business is taking. How much are you, what we're trying to, what we got to figure out to help you out here is what your actual income is.
What are you paying yourself? I, my, what falls into my bank account is $4,000 guaranteed. And this is the, that includes the $3,000 from a friend who's just paying you because he's a great person.
Yes. And how long do you think that's going to last? It can't last.
In fact, every day that it goes on, it actually hurts my soul. You know, it's not something that I'm comfortable with.
I know it's going to come to an end. It has to come to an end.
Okay. What about income? What about better opportunities for income? What's holding you back from doing something to make more money? Ultimately, it was just finding the right opportunity, but I kind of threw a bone in my path.
And, um, I would say about a year ago through the heightened emotion of feeling this collapse and feeling all this pressure. Um, I had a scenario where, um, I became a felon.
Um, my felony is based upon a battery on an officer. So that is my scenario.
I was lucky enough to not do any mandatory jail time. They were lenient with that, but they are not able to remove or get rid of the felony at all.
So I'm just kind of, you know, manning up about it. Yeah, well, that's good information.
Yeah. Well, this is a hurdle that I have.
It's a massive hurdle. And it's a new hurdle.
It was not a hurdle that I had to stress about in my 20s and teens. It is a 35-year-old hurdle.
With the current job, Jack, that you're doing, the billing, the medical billing, how long had you been doing that for? I've been doing it for about six to seven years. And what's the best income you've made off of that? Like in a really good year, what would you make? About $45,000 to $50,000 for a contract.
So what's changed? The clinics that I work with have to do well themselves. Awesome.
You need to find some more clinics, right? Yes, yes. And I have a time-sensitive scenario.
So ultimately, I have to pay off my probation in three years. How much is that? You know, it has to happen.
That probation is $10,000. And then you have $40,000 in debt? Yes.
And my car, my expense, my car is, let's say, $300,000, let's say, $350,000. And then my car insurance is at $800,000.
So I've been eating ramen for the last five years. All right, so Jack, we only have a couple minutes with you, and I want Rachel to be able to help as well.
So we've got to get to the point fast, okay? So this is not a silly – it's going to sound silly, but I simply don't know. But I'm guessing you know.
What kind of work can you do where you can make somewhere in the $15 to $20 to $25 an hour? It may be labor. Can you do that with the felony? Or is it pretty much every time these jobs are doing background checks on you, what's available to you? Because you've got to make more money and quickly.
Correct. So answer that question for me.
For my own research, I found locksmithing to be the best opportunity. Great.
What's a locksmithing? It looks like they can

average about $50,000 a year. Okay, my man.
That's stable income. Great.
And then I'll guarantee you

there's some labor jobs where you could show up on a construction site and do stuff. Because I

used to work, I'm just telling you, this issue right now, I'm going to give it to Rachel real quick to walk you through the basic how we get out of debt. But I just want you to understand there's some urgency right now for you to increase your income and you've got to treat it like it's life or death because it is.
Yeah. And that's why I came across you guys.
Yeah, for sure. And Jack and I would be, you know, encouraged with your own company that you're doing that there's chiropractic.
I mean, there's like the chiropractic world, I think is a whole other, you know, it's a whole world. Start knocking on every door there is.
Yeah, I see that as a complete open door that you could just run in, do the locksmith two on the side, do both of those in tandem, do them both really well. And I mean, you could be bringing in 70 to 80 a year by just doing that.
So what I would do is, yeah, so your probation, the 10,000, that would be my number one goal. And so it's going to have to be everything, Jack, from, from a, from a strict budget.
And the income is the problem in this scenario. I don't think your expenses, you're not out of control in your expenses from what I'm hearing.
So once you get that income up and you start making extra money, you have to be diligent of putting that money aside and you need a goal mapping out to say, okay, I need an extra thousand a month. And in 10 months, you could have that 10 grand.
I would set that completely aside that you have that for the probation and then start paying off these, this $40,000 in debts, keep minimum payments going. So you don't get behind on those.
But then I would attack that. But I would prioritize the probation first and foremost

before anything else. All right.
We got to take a quick break. We'll be right back.
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That's betterhelp.com slash Deloney. Welcome back to the Ramsey Show, where we help you win with your money, win in your work, and win in your relationships.
I'm Ken Coleman. Rachel Cruz joins me.
And the phone number to jump in is 888-825-5225. 888-825-5225.
Austin, Texas is where we're going to go next. And Alex is joining us there.
Alex, how can we help? Hi, guys. How are you today? We're having a blast.
What's going on? Good. Good.
Thanks for having me. I've got a quick question for you.
I'm 30 years old, and I've been to work with my folks for about 10, 12 years now. I build custom homes about an hour north of Austin.
And me and my wife have been – we've got a little side program we've been doing on the side, and on the side and that's, that's starting to make, um, quite a bit more money than I'm making, uh, at my day job. And, um, I'm just, I'm working around the clock and nights and weekends on our side hustle.
Um, and I'm wondering if it's, uh, you know, I'm not getting to spend a lot of time with my son and just a rat race.

You enjoying the side hustle, Alex?

Do you like it?

Yes.

More than home building with your family?

Well, it's the same thing.

We're buying and selling homes and remodeling homes.

Oh, okay.

Wow.

A little bit of the flip business.

Okay, okay.

Yeah, it sounds like you're in a great place. Let's just look at the numbers because my answer is always based on the numbers.
Right. Because that's where we start.
And then Rachel really got, I think, to the next point that I'm always looking for is, is this the joy? Is this kind of giving you the autonomy, the freedom that you long for? And it sounds like it is. Right.
So on the money side, how much more are you making per month in the side hustle than you are your day job? And then for how long has that been happening? Well, we built our first house three or four years ago, and we sold it in December. We had 500 into it, and we sold it for 1.8.
Whoa. Well done, sir.
Yeah, thank you. That's just one house.
That kind of jump-started everything. Did that take two years, Alex? Did you say you bought it two years ago? We bought the property and built the house.
Oh, okay. I hear it from the ground up.
It wasn't a flip. Okay.
That was the first deal. We sold it in December.
Yeah. And then since then, we've bought another house for $375,000, and we're getting ready to put it on the market.
And we should be able to profit somewhere around $100,000. Okay.
So here's the deal. Since yours is a little bit different situation there as to when that money's coming in, my rule of thumb is this.
I want to see people have at least six to 12 months of their current income. So working for your family, you have an income.
And when people are saying, Ken or Rachel, when do we move over? My rule of thumb is I want to see you have six to 12 months of your day job income in the bank of the side hustle, right? And that to me is a minimum, six to 12 months. Personally, I would do 12 months, but some people, if you've got a really good pipeline built up and it feels like you do and you know what you're doing here, I think six months is fine.
But that is in addition to the fact that you're also making right at about the same amount or more, in other words, what you're paying yourself. And so it feels like you're pretty much there.
I mean, the way you started the call, you said you're already making more working for yourself than working for your family. I'm making about $100,000 a year while I work with my folks.
All right. Now, what are you paying yourself out of this side hustle? Well, we took that lump sum that we walked away with a million dollars and we invested.
We put all of it in Merrill Lynch and they're taking care of it for us. So that's what I'm asking you.
What are you paying yourself after you save and invest? What are you paying yourself? Can you pay yourself $100,000? Yes. It's a no-brainer.
Then how much you got saved? Well, we've saved all of it. We basically have no debt, and we've got all in the bank, and we just take what we need out of it to do these projects.
That's what I was going to say, Alex. I mean, that's the beautiful thing that you guys have that most people don't, in a sense, is when you're getting into this kind of world with real estate, we say to go at the speed of cash, which a lot of people hate because like, are you kidding me? I don't have a hundred grand laying around to buy something and flip it.
So the fact that you guys have the cash in order to do this is fantastic. And I think that, yeah, I mean, I would, and you can run some models, Alex.lex i mean you know this world better than i do my husband's been in it for about a year now and it's fascinating when you look at oh my gosh you could buy you know in those two to three hundred ranges you know what i mean of how many you need a year to flip on average what you think you can sell them for and then to ken's point yeah we need knowing what you need to live off of and what you guys want making that kind of back into that and say okay then how much extra Would we make off these flips? And then to Ken's point, yeah, we need knowing what you need to live off of and what you guys want, making that kind of back into that and say, okay, then how much extra would we make off these flips? And then we can roll that back into new properties.
And it is, it's kind of like a big snowball, which is fantastic. So I'd earmark $100,000 in your side hustle, your company, let's just call it your company.
I'd have $100,000 aside just to pay you and and and so whenever you're ready to walk from your parents and you're pretty much ready because you've got your parents know any of this going on alex is this going to be a shock to them or is it have you been kind of talking to them throughout the process too no they they don't know and you know it's always tough when you're in a business yes I do know yeah boy does you so do they have they has there been a conversation are you the only child are there multiple like what's the conversation I'd love Rachel to weigh in on this so what has the conversation been about who takes over for mom and pop well I have one other brother um and I'm um I'm pretty certain that my dad's in his mind that I'm going to take over. Good boy.
Does your brother want it? I don't think so. Yeah, and it may just be a thing that your dad's probably going to have to realize, oh, gosh, I'm going to probably have the company you know at some point for retirement and you know you know another home builder can buy the you know buy what you have i mean buy some of the assets decision kind of a hard decision to make for sure yeah and i would just and i would walk into that you know really um with a lot of gratitude alex you know what i mean of what they've given you over you know they're not given you, you've worked, you've been working, but the opportunity and everything.
I've learned a lot. Yeah.
For, yeah, the last 10 years. And, and I, and, you know, and I, and I pray that, you know, the way you present it and the way your dad specifically takes it, like there is a level of dignity when your son goes out and it is sad.
My husband, he left Ramsey literally to do what you're doing, Alex, and flip him and dad both cried and all of it of it it's great I mean there it's totally it is fine it did not sever a relationship by any means but there was sadness of like man you know you're working together for so long and something's different it's changing but yet I pray that he you know applauds you and and even helps you you know along the way that his son but it's gonna it to be a shock. So I would talk to him ASAP, Alex,

and with not a final decision necessarily,

but I would start having some of these conversations

so it's not just this big bombshell.

I would kind of bring them in and just say,

hey, here's what we've been doing.

Here's what I'm enjoying and I'm loving

and bringing them into some of it early is what I would do.

I agree with Rachel because there's this weird thing here, and I'm not in any way criticizing you. I'm trying to put myself in your dad's shoes.
There's this weird thing going on where you've been doing this for a while and he didn't even know about it. And that feels weird.
And in the same industry. Same industry.
And again, not in any way, Alex, criticizing you. I'm just trying to go, man, that feels weird.
I'd probably rip the Band-Aid off. He knows what I've been doing, and maybe in his mind he has an idea that it's coming.
I thought you told us that. I thought you said they didn't know.
No, he knows what I've been doing on the side. He just doesn't have any idea that I might be interested in moving on.
Okay, I misunderstood. Strike everything I just said from the record.
so that was that was unnecessary sorry about that i misunderstood completely but i i would say with rachel sooner rather than later that hey this transition is especially now that he knows you've been doing it i would say hey i'm we're doing well and and i'm ready to go work for myself and make really great money and i would hope he'd have some pride in that to say you know what um love for you to take the company but but I also know that you want to make a lot of money. Yeah.
And Alex, and I would be, you know, really sensitive about the transition to that. If you're on a project with them or something and they need you for another, you know, five, six months, like what? Like I would complete the job there really well and like tie all the loose ends.
Don't leave them in a bad spot because there's no urgency necessarily for you to run to this other thing, except the fact that you're making more money and you're excited about it. So again, I think that's the goal, but walking into that, leaving a company that your family owns.
Yeah. I think I would have a lot of leeway on when you do that for their sake too, just to kind of help the conversation.
Thanks for the call, Alex. Coming up, we'll break down price controls.
What would it mean to you and your pocketbook? This is The Ramsey Show. You know, one of the first things I discovered working in the financial world is how absolutely devastating it is when the breadwinner of a family dies and there's too little life insurance or none at all.
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Visit Xander.com for instant online quotes, or for a more personal touch, give them a call at 800-356-4282. Welcome back to The Ramsey Show.
I'm Ken Coleman. Rachel Cruz joins me at the phone number for you to jump in.
It's 888-825-5225. We're here to answer your questions.
We want to coach you to win with your money, to win in your work, to win in your relationships. All three of those areas are all connected, and when you're suffering in one, it affects the others.
So we're going to take on some economic issues. We've been talking about some economic issues because they affect your actual pocketbook, and this is a show that is about your money and how it affects your life.
And so we preach a lot of personal responsibility. We preach control what you can control.
However, we want to not just inform you on how to get out of debt, how to do a budget. We want you to understand how economics work and economic policies because you have a say in it.
And so don't get squeamish. Don't get nervous.
We're not going left. We're not going right today.
We're going to talk about, as I talked about a couple weeks ago, Rachel, you missed it. I talked about the one issue that I think American people ought to be uniting on in this election is the national debt.
In other words, we need a constitutional amendment that would require a balanced budget, like many states, the state of Tennessee, the state of Virginia, where I'm from. Many states have a constitutional requirement for a balanced budget.
So big in the news. In fact, Dave was on Fox News talking about Laurel Ingram, had he on the Ingram Angle, to talk about Vice President Kamala Harris's economic plan.
And specifically, it's been floated that she would be in favor of price controls to control inflation. So I want to break this down very, very briefly.
I went and did some research. This is not my opinion here.
I'm going to walk briefly through about 11 things that would happen. This is from a well-known economist that understands food and food pricing.
But let me first explain, Rachel, and to our audience, price control, the ideas, it sounds really great on the surface, right? Wait a second. You mean the government can pass legislation that would say, we have to keep prices at this much? And it sounds really great because, oh, the price of a combo meal or the price of groceries.
Yeah, we don't want it to go up because it's affecting us. Sounds great.
But what actually happens? So I'm going to roll through this really fast. I love it.
This is economist kin. Yeah.
So this is 101, economics 101. Here's how this would go.
So the government would announce that grocery retailers cannot raise prices. In other words, this is price control, fixed prices.
Grocery stores, which operate on about a 1% to 2% margin, they're not going to be able to survive if their suppliers raise prices. So then the government says, oh, well, you know what? Cattle farmers, you can't raise prices on beef, right? Now, stores in lower-income areas, understand this, grocery stores, we're talking about food here.
Grocery stores in lower-income areas, they make less money than higher-income grocers because they sell a lot more of the prepackaged or processed food. Think center of the store versus outside of the store where you're talking about fresh meat and fresh fruit and things of that nature.
That's higher priced items. So they now can't cover their overhead because while their prices have to stay the same, they still have to pay people to actual work, to actually work.
And those prices aren't fixed. So all of a sudden, watch this, you start to have food deserts in lower income areas.
Which is current. That is happening to a degree we're talking massive yeah this is on a bigger scale so think urban and think rural low-income areas all of a sudden can't get food next margins for food producers as i mentioned earlier are eroding so now uh they're having to deal with overhead so now they're they're real issues of, we've got to reinvest with production capacity.

Food producers are making lower margins, so they stop making the products.

And then the grocery chains start competing with each other.

Because now it's like there's only so much inventory, so they start competing.

So what do they do?

They start negotiating, well, we'll get you payment faster.

And so then who gets cut out?

That leads to the smaller food producers and the smaller grocers. They get cut out.
They're out. Out.
Go out of business. These are real jobs, real lives.
Now watch. The supply chain breaks down because the food, it's not available.
Supply chain breaks down. And so now all of a sudden cities are assigning police officers outside of grocery stores to manage the crowds, the mobs that are standing in line waiting to get food.

This is all real.

This happened in the Great Depression.

This is not a fantasy.

It happens in Venezuela, to give an example, when socialism and it turns into a communist

type rule.

So here's what happens.

Now it gets really bad.

So the federal government goes, we got to fix it.

So they announced a program to come in and say the federal government's in charge of all food distribution. You want the government in charge of your food distribution? So now everything's fixed.
And now there's just people trying to make it. And it's profiteering.
It actually can drive prices up. The very thing it was designed to not do.
Because now it's like piracy. It's like, who's got the most cash? Hey, I got $500 cash.
My kids need food. Boom.
It starts to get very civil war-y, very kind of weird. I know this is a bleak picture, but it's important to understand this.
And so you don't want your government managing your food supply chain. It's one of the most complex supply chains we have.
If you think about it. From farm to table, you think about how complex it is.
You want the government running that? That's essentially what Kamala Harris is proposing. She's not the only person to propose it in the history of the world and economics.
But I just want to point out, that's what happens. That's the domino effect.
That's the domino. So the first domino falls, and it may be a year, two years, four years.
No, it's way quicker than that. And then it goes, you know what I mean? But I'm not saying, but I'm saying like, that's not going to one to 11 is not going to happen overnight.
It's not overnight. And I think that's the, I think that's always the warning with, with policies.
And that's why, you know, for, for anyone going to vote, which I, I love election season. I love all of this.
And I'm a proponent. Go vote, vote, vote, vote.
But know what you're voting for, right? Do the research and understand the policies from the beginning to the end. That's a great point.
Go do your own research on what I just threw out. Yeah, for sure.
Go read about countries that have had price controlling and what that looks like. This is not fear-mongering here.
And what's interesting is the food specifically. I feel like people are already more and more information, even in the last, you know, five, six years is coming out about just food in general, right? I mean, that the health and what's actually in our food, the processed stuff that, you know, so much of that is even a conversation.
So naturally people were all kind of, or I don't want to say all of us, we are a little bit suspecting like, okay, what really is in this? And then it goes all the way down there. We're like, no, no, no.
Take me off the grid, Ken. That's where my prepping comes in.
Where I'm like, you won't see me again. I'll have my corn and my cows.
And you would have to. And my butter.
You would have to in this scenario because the reality is. You couldn't sustain.
If the food is not there, then it is an all-out scramble and it is rich against poor family against family it can get that crazy and and by the way i know for an american listening to this and they're maybe new to the show and they're like what is ken gotten dark no no no listen this is happening in countries all around the world as a result of this type of socialistic policy. It's a policy.
I'm not calling anybody names. Yeah.
This is the policy that has been floated. It's the perspective, the viewpoint that you look through in this, right? So do your homework is all we're saying.
If you go do your homework on this and you go, Ken, I don't think that's the scenario, that's fine. But I do think it's important to understand that sometimes, well, not sometimes, many times what government means for good ends up screwing up the system.
And capitalism isn't this stacked system that only helps the rich. It actually is an exchange of goods and services.
It's actually a great economic system, right? And I hope that I explain that well. By the way, that's an hour-long presentation that I did in two minutes, but that's how that happens.
You've got to have the exchange of goods and services. Yes.
There are moments in an economy where inflation goes up due to the supply and demand. And right now, and I'll give credit where credit is due.
I've given Jerome Powell a hard time.

I thought that the Fed got us in this mess that we're in.

However, the raising of interest rates and holding that,

we've seen the inflation come down.

And so that's good.

But there are just seasons where a pandemic and then this and this and this.

And so if you want to control inflation, control your income, control how you spend. Yeah.
Yeah. Control what you can control.
That's right. That's right.
Absolutely. There are ways to save money, even when groceries are expensive.
Right. Right.
Totally. And, and I think Dave said it on, on Laura's show, but it's almost like, let everyone just live.
Like if the, you know what I mean?

If the government

would just take their hands off of

everything,

just go.

It will solve itself.

But even I was looking at the tax

differences even in Trump

because a lot of the Trump

tax policies are expiring next year.

That's right.

So even looking into that,

you guys,

and knowing,

hey,

what's up?

The death tax to the,

you know,

the child tax credit,

I think could go up under Harris's. So anyways, do your research, everyone.
How's it going to affect your pocketbook? Pay attention. This is The Ramsey Show.
This is The Ramsey Show, where we help you win in your life. We want you to win with your money.
We want you to win in your work. We want you to win with your relationships.
888-825-5225 is the phone number to jump in. 888-825-5225.
I'm Ken Coleman. The fabulous Rachel Cruz joins me this hour.
We're here together to take your questions. And let's get right to it.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania is where we're going to go next. Aaliyah, if I'm saying that right, is there for us.
Did I say your name right?

Yes, you did.

How are you doing?

Doing well.

How are you?

I'm good.

Thank you.

How can we help today?

So I'm calling because I'm 30 years old.

I live in Philadelphia, and I've been unemployed since last August.

Oh, no.

What happened? I know. The job market right now really sucks.
Yeah, it's just exhausting to even speak about it. So right now, currently, I am in debt of $77,957.
And this includes student loans, personal loans, credit cards, and car loans. And I really don't know what direction to go into because I don't have any money to pay back the debt because I am unemployed.
So I wanted to see, do you guys think I should file for a bankruptcy or should I strategize like a payment plan once I get employed again to start paying off my debt? Yeah, I mean, I would say the latter. I mean, $77,000 is not being, I mean, I think you can get out of this.
It's going to take for sure some time and life is going to probably look different for a bit while you climb out of this, but I would not. If you had $700,000 or something we were talking, then that probably would be a different story.
But $77,000, you can do this. Like you can, we see it every day.
This is a number that is manageable. I know it feels probably so overwhelming to you.
And especially since you haven't been earning an income, it feels like I'm completely underwater. But just hear us on this side say, we talk to people every day that have more, that have six figures and they're doing it.
Okay, so I do want to give you hope, Aaliyah, that you can do this. I think my biggest concern is the income side.
And so what's been, yeah, has there not been anything that you've found since, you said last August, so it's been almost a year. I mean, even, you know, like Target, Walmart, I mean, any retail, anything possible? So I'm in the legal support field.
So my roles have been like a paralegal or legal assistant. So I was more so trying to get back into that field because it will bring in like a great income where i can get back on my feet yeah what were you making so as of um my previous position i was making 55 okay and how many how many paralegal gigs have you tried to to to get in the last year ballpark oh goodness um i've been on several interviews and i've been ghosted by a lot of recruiters I want to say maybe since January till now I've been on maybe like seven or eight interviews that's defeating I'm so sorry what were you making did I okay what were you making 55 okay so here's a question for you um in the last three seconds while were talking, I went on my computer and I typed in virtual paralegal and I saw all kinds of sites.
Have you looked into doing virtual paralegal work? Not necessarily. I don't really, I don't know if I don't really trust those type of ads, so I haven't really looked into them.
A, this isn't an ad. This isn't an ad I pulled up.
This is an actual company that supplies virtual paralegals for people who need them. It came to me immediately that when you've got a virtual opportunity like that, the barrier for entry might be a little bit less.
I don't know. I don't know what's going on in your interviews.
I will tell you that I hear stories every day of people that have been ghosted

and I'm sorry about that. But Leah, I'm telling you there are no more, well, I'm holding out for

that paralegal job. I'm going to give you some tough love here, hopefully in a non-tough way.

You need to be working at Walmart or Target or driving or doing something. Your target is

Thank you. hopefully in a non-tough way, you need to be working at Walmart or Target or driving or doing something.
Your target is $20 an hour, $25 an hour. If you've got to do some manufacturing, you are doing whatever it takes.
Is that below the professional level you've been on the past? Yes. Is it beneath you? No.
That is dignified work. You know men and women all over Philadelphia that do that work.
It is not beneath you. But right now, to Rachel's point, you can actually dig out of this.
But I believe you can make the equivalent of $55,000 an hour with a good job, like I just described, even if it's an hourly rate, and then a second job, you're going to have to work your way out of this. And I believe you actually can.
And Rachel can walk you through what you would do on the snowball side of things if you're not familiar with it. But I'm telling you right now, there is no reason someone as sharp as you are is not working for one year other than the fact that you've been defeated and you've been rejected and that's really, really hard.
And it stinks. And let me also say this.
The research from psychology studies show that losing a job, being laid off or fired, is the same emotional impact of losing a loved one. so I want to acknowledge to you that it's okay for you to be down because that's normal.
But you're 12 months into this and you're calling us saying, should I bankrupt myself? And the answer is no. So I want to bring in Rachel here, but I wouldn't tell you, Leah, you've got to get serious about doing any job right now and then look at maybe that virtual paralegal and some things like that to get to get maybe a little bit more momentum.
OK. Yeah.
So, yeah. And I think, Leah, I think that I think the the hard reality that you're going to face like anybody in a situation like this is that in order to get a different result, you have to change 180 everything that you've been doing.
So the leaning on debt, leaning on credit cards, leaning on just this idea that, you know, I hope I get a job and I'm going to try. But if I don't, I'm just going to keep trying while not doing something else.
Like it's going to be a 180 to the point, Aaliyah, that, you know, I want you to call us a year from now and be like, people are accusing me that I'm a workaholic, right? I've been, I have three jobs and I'm working 7am to 7pm. I'm exhausted and all of it because to get out of this debt, Aaliyah, there's going to, it's going to be tough.
Like it's going to be long hours, a lot of different things. You may piecemeal, you know, a retail job here, Uber Eats there.
You know, maybe you're you're maybe you tutor someone that's that's trying to be a paralegal too on the side for four hours a week here i mean like anything you can do to piecemeal while you hopefully land a 55 000 job somewhere and then while you're doing that you're still probably going to work part-time somewhere else again just to climb out of this debt so the way the way we, the way we help people get out of debt is like, it is, it is vengeance. Like you are, you are, everything is going towards this, every amount of energy time.
And if you do that for a short amount of time, if you put that much work and that much focus and that much intensity, this 77,000 is going to be cleaned up. I mean, it will, it'll be cleaned up in 24 months.
If you just say, you know what? I'm doing this. I'm living on nothing.
I'm working hard and I'm going to be focused. So what I want you to do, Ali, is I want you to write out all of your debts separately.
So if you have five credit cards, write them up in five separate debts. Personal loans, write those out.
Your car loan. And I want you to list them out smallest amount to largest amount, regardless of the interest rates.
I want you to pay minimum payments on everything. Okay.
With this job that you're going to be getting you, I want you to stay current on all of your bills from the debt and your, your food, shelter, utilities, transportation, making sure all that's covered. And I want you to pay off that smallest debt first.
So if it's a $2,000 credit card, that's your number one goal. We're going after that.
Get a thousand dollar emergency funds before you do all this. But hold on the line.
Christian's going to pick up and I'm going to give you Financial Peace University. This is our our seven lesson course that really is going to be nine lesson course.
It's going to be able to walk you through how to really start this process and to get you on the right page. I believe you can do this.
I really do. I think your life's going to different, but I think that's such a good thing.
It's going to bring dignity back to you, Aaliyah. You're doing great, girl.
Got to run. We'll be right back.
This is the Ramsey Show. People ask me all the time, George, what's your number one money-saving hack? I'm glad you asked.
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Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I'm Ken Coleman.
Rachel Cruz joins me. The phone number for you to join us is 888-825-5225, 888-825-5225.
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All right. Today's question, this is probably going to be for you, Ken.
Get ready. Rebecca in Delaware.
I changed my career path two months ago due to a job layoff. My income went down by $30,000 a year with a new salary of $100,000.
I can work remotely most of the time with a flexible schedule and unlimited PTO. A recruiter at a different company contacted me just this week about an opening that would give me a promotion and an annual pay of $115,000 plus bonuses and a $10,000 sign-on fee.
This role requires me to be in the office Tuesday through Thursday and does not have unlimited PTO. I also don't feel experienced enough to go confidently into this role.
However, we're trying to pay off debt and this additional income would allow allow us to pay off our debt six months faster. If I switch, will I look like a job hopper? And does it seem like it's worth all the trade-offs? The flexible, unlimited PTO with two small children is hard to give up.
Yeah. Okay.
So this is pretty straightforward for me. To answer the first question, does it make you look like a job hopper? No.
If you were to do this one or two more times

in about that frame of time, yes, you would look like a job hopper. But in this situation, I would treat this as kind of like a free agent in sports.
Another team wants you, they come, they offer you a better package, and you say, you know what, I'm going to go. I'm going to go to this team over here.
But just as a free agent in sports has to decide, is it just about the money or is it also about the chance to win? So if I'm a free agent, let's say I'm an NFL team, and I've got a team that's one of the worst teams in the league that's offered me not too much more money, because this is a not too much more money. When you break that down, I know the $10,000 bonus sounds great, but for the trade-off, I'm going to ask myself, do I want to win or do I want to make more money? And for me, I would like to win knowing that more money is going to take care of itself.
So in this situation, this question here, I'm going to say I wouldn't take this new job for a couple of reasons. One, you don't feel like you're experienced enough for it.
And that doesn't mean you shouldn't take it, but there's a little bit of a curve there where you're going, I'm not sure I'm ready for that. And so that's somewhat of a negative.
The second thing is, is the PTO, the children, the flexibility that she's giving up. I think I'd say no to this without having a chance to go back and forth with her.
Yep. Yep.
But I'd say no. I was going to say no, too.
And then I think that fires you up to pay it off earlier by coming up with a way to make 10 grand. That's right.
That's right. Yeah.
I'd stay where you are based on what I'm hearing. Yeah, because the debt payoff, that's a short-term goal, right? Your career is long-term.
That's right. And you're setting yourself up in a job, hopefully, that you'll continue to make more money as you continue to stay in it.
Like you were saying, uh, and long-term, this is a better gig for you from just a, a time standpoint, right? The, the ability to, the flexibility and all of that. Um, and as a mom with two small kids, I totally get that versus a short-term thinking mindset of, Oh yeah, I can make, I agree, you know, some extra six months on the debt payoff.
Yep. I don it's a good trade.
Yeah, not a good trade for the long term. Thanks for the question, though.
Really good stuff. Thank you.
888-825-5225 is the number. We're going to go north of the border.
Calgary, Alberta is where Jimmy is joining us. Jimmy, how can we help? Hey, guys.
How are you doing this morning? Good. How are you? Sorry, good afternoon, sorry.
Very good, thank you very much. I'm 23 years old.
I started trucking over the road last year, and it's given me a big shovel to pay off all my debt. Awesome.
I'm currently debt-free, saving up for three to six months' worth of expenses. And I guess next up for me would either be buying a house or buying a semi-truck to basically just drive for myself.
Just wondering what your take would be on that. Okay, quick question on that.
Help me understand. If you were, let's say you had the cash today, because we don't want you to use debt, you know that.
So let's say we bought the semi truck today. How much more money would that allow you to make driving for yourself? Basically double, which would be $75,000 extra a year.
How much would a semi cost you? Right now in Canada, it's between $30,000 and $70,000, depending on what kind of luxury I want. But I am planning on buying it with cash.
And what's the range there that you represented? Is that in quality or just age? Basically both. So either like a Canva T660, which older uh kind of like an old truck with uh yeah with a bit of a worse so you'll make 75 000 more yeah how much are you making currently like how like what would your total be if you owned your own truck per year uh my total would be about 130 okay that's great so i make make, yeah.
You said something that interests me. You said if I buy it in Canada, and I'm wondering, can you come to the States and get one, and would it be significantly cheaper? Absolutely.
I go to the States all the time. Could you get a cheaper semi here? I don't think so.
I think're a lot cheaper in canada right now oh good okay it sounded cheap to me when you said 30 grand for a semi yeah i just didn't know i was just curious so i'm helping you think through all these things but uh but yeah i think i would do that if i were you you're single i am single yep how long how long is it going to take you to get to baby step three is your three to six months? When are you going to be completed with that? Within the next month. Nice.
So then how long would it take you to save up the semi money? Just about one year. At your age? I would do that.
I'd absolutely save for that. If you change your mind, Rachel, here's what I'm thinking here.
If for some reason in that year of saving, he goes, I think I want to go into whatever XYZ. He still got that cash for a down payment on a home, but I like him being self employed and doubling his income.
So great. Yeah.
Cause to plant where you are, you know, long-term, you know, you're 23 single, like you never know what a year or two can bring, you know, to, to will bring you because usually with a house, we say five years is kind of the sweet spot to outride the market and to kind of get everything, get your money back and make money on it. So I would want to be somewhere long-term before I bought.
Are you, you said you're living with your parents? You bet. Yes.
Okay. So cost is very, very low for me.
Okay. Yeah, that's great um how long are you on the road for or how how yeah versus how long are you just at your parents house um so basically like two weekends out of the month i'm uh at home the rest of the time i'm either okay yeah perfect or that's great because i because yeah for those of you listening like our stance with parents, it is, if you have a goal and a timeline, like absolutely take advantage of that.
He's not even living with them. Well, no, he's not.
That's what I was going to say. But yeah, you know, but in a situation like this, there's not really a push to get you out because you're not, you don't need to be paying full rent because you're not home.
I love that. So well done, Jimmy.
Yeah, I would invest in the semi. I would.
And man, you'll make so much money over the next couple of years. And that will give you, I think saving up for a down payment on a home eventually, I think is going to be definitely a goal for you.
I don't want to put an age to it necessarily. I think it's more season of life knowing you're going to be planted somewhere for a long time, but having it, getting a house sooner than later, I, is a smart move because the housing prices continue to go up.
So, Rachel, would you say that he's about ready to finish Baby Step 3? Can we do a 3A is the semi and then 3B is the house? Yeah, that's right. Yeah, totally.
Is that what you think the order is? I think that's it. I think Jimmy goes for semi first, then down payment second.
And you'll be able to get a down payment pretty quick. And Jimmy, that's the thing is you can get, you know, again, the buying real estate for you for the next step, even if you're still doing this job and you're not home, it's just getting into the market.
So it may just be a condo, a two bedroom, one bedroom, townhouse or something. You know, it doesn't have to be a big house, but it's the idea that you're getting into the market and for that to be a great investment because the equity is going to rise on that property throughout the years.
So getting into it next would be great. Well done, Jimmy.
Yeah, way to go. Jimmy, random question.
Any chance you're in the semi right now? I am actually. Can you pull the horn? Everybody be quiet.
Pull the horn. I can do that.
Yes. That's my favorite moment all time on the Ramsey Show right there.
I just gave him the signal. One more time, Jimmy, to take us to break.
Give us two. Yes! This is the Ramsey Show.
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Welcome back to The Ramsey Show. I'm Ken Coleman and Rachel Cruz joins me.
And we are here for you. The phone number to jump in is 888-825-5225.
We want to help you win in your relationships, in your work, and in your money. And speaking of winning with your money, you know, a lot of people right now, Rachel, are watching what is the Fed going to do? We've seen the interest rates on mortgages come down a little bit off of a several-year high.
And everybody's going, do I buy? Do I sell right now? What do I do? And we've got some great advice for them. Yeah.
And even in the, this showed Ken, I feel like we've had a lot of home questions even about like, Hey, what's my next step? Well, the, the goal is to make your home and home ownership a blessing, not a burden. And so if you are in a place where you're like, okay, I'm thinking about selling, I'm thinking about buying, maybe I'm a first time home buyer, you know, having that 5% down payment is crucial.
A 15-year fixed-rate mortgage is what we recommend. And for your payment to be no more than 25% of your take-home pay.
It's kind of always been our formula for decades, regardless of what the housing market is doing. That just keeps your household budget in a good spot.
But finding a house, and specifically finding an agent that you trust who's really incredible and of high caliber in this area is really important. So the Ramsey Trusted Program really is the only way to find an agent that you can trust to keep you on track with what we teach here at Ramsey.
And they're going to get the best offer on your house or is going to help you find the right house. We send you to some of the top agents in your area who we trust and you get to review their stats.
You get to interview them and decide which one you want to work for because we have multiple and different markets across the country. Ramsey Trusted agents have years of experience and will help you make wise decisions when it comes to pricing, the marketing, or in choosing the right offer as well if you're getting multiple offers.
So to find a Ramsey Trusted real estate agent for free, go to ramseysolutions.com slash agent. And again, use this resource, you guys, because this is home buying.
For majority of people, it's the largest investment you make in your personal finances. So do it well and do it right with an agent that we trust so that you can trust as well.
So RamseySolutions.com slash agents. Yeah, good stuff.
All right, let's get back to the phones. Kansas City is where we're going to go, and Jerry's there.
Jerry, how can we help? Yes, my question relates to the national public data breach, and what sort of steps should I be taking to kind of make sure my Social Security isn't used to open a line of credit with that, or what kind of things I expect to do? Yeah, I mean, there's a couple things, Jerry. Number one, you can just freeze your credit.
If you're not currently in debt or using debt, you can do that. That's a line of protection.
But having identity theft insurance is really, really key. It's really inexpensive.
And so I would recommend going to Zandra.com. Zandra's who we use.
That's one of the benefits here at Ramsey Solutions is every team member gets identity theft as part of working here. That's how much we believe in it because stuff like this is going to happen more and more.
So yeah, honestly, I would go to Zander.com and check out their identity theft protection. And I would get a policy on you.
I'd get a policy of every person in your household, honestly, too, because even kids were seeing identity theft, you know, happening within kids as well and people running up stuff on their credit. And I mean, it's just it is wild.
So

I would do that. There's a number here on our screen that you can call as well.

Jerry, it's 800-356-4282. And yeah, that's what I would do personally, Jerry.
And then, I mean, that's as much offense as I know to do, Ken, on this. Unless something does happen, then you do have to take action.
But if you have identity theft protection, they go in and do a lot for you. So just to kind of catch people up who may not know the story here, and Jerry, I'm glad you bring this up, just kind of let people know, because you need to know, it is widely reported that hackers may have stolen the social security numbers of every American.
That's me, Rachel, that's all of you. And so there is a notorious hacking group that has claimed to have stolen a ton of information and so this

is being reported across a lot of news networks and you can find this story so it happened what two weeks ago yeah just last week or last week okay yeah so uh so that's what you can do this is how you kind of check so do that freeze just exactly what rachel said until you can check everything and then go get protected with Xander.

Xander Insurance, Xander.com, 800-356-4282. That's 800-356-4282, Xander.com.
And they do a great job. We get an email every month, tells us we're good or what might be something we need to check into.
And that protection is the most. And there's other services like Delete Me and other places too that are incredible for online scammers as well.
So identity theft protection, again, you guys, it protects your identity, social security, all of that. But then you think about how much our information, not necessarily social security number, but just your address, your phone number.
I mean, all this. I'm getting blown up.
All the political stuff. And I'm like, where did my number get sold to? Like, what list is this too? So there's full-on companies that help people get their information off.
But it's going to be, I mean, that's part of the curse of 2024 and technology. Because I mean, I don't know about you, Kim, but I do.
I plug in my information on stuff. So whether it's, you know, you're shipping something or buying something, whatever it is, it's just your, I mean, it feels like I'm putting in my information a lot on websites.
And by the way, just in the overabundance of giving you all information, the three credit bureaus that Rachel's talking about, again, Experian, Equifax, and TransUnion, you can just get a free deal, call them or do it online. You can pull, yeah.
And put a freeze on your credit and that will- And pull your report once a year, you guys, regardless of whether it's a data breach or not. Make sure you pull your, and you can do that for free once a year.
So use those, each of those companies and yeah, get three reports three times a year. All right.
Let's go to John now in Los Angeles. John, how can we help? Hey there.
How's it going, guys? Good, how are you? Pretty good. How can we help?

So yeah, so I've been in college pretty much all my life. I'm about 33, be graduating with a PhD next year.
My wife just graduated, so she started working, so it's the first time we really have a real income and a shovel. we have a hundred thousand dollars in debt no retirement uh savings and we kind of want to look into buying a house next year when i graduate no but we're not really sure yeah no john no first no john we're interrupting because you're not catching no no no no um no, no.
Okay, John, what are y'all going to be making? Household income together combined. So right now, today combined, we make $170,000.
Okay. When I start working, it should be $230,000.
Great. When I finish my postdoc, because I still need a little bit more, it should be about $280,000 in about three years.
Three years. Okay, But in the next four months, six months, what will it be?

Still 170 while I'm finishing up my PhD.

And when will it bump up to 230?

How long?

When I find a job probably next summer.

So probably...

A year.

12 months.

July and September.

Next year, yeah.

Perfect.

Is the debt all student loans?

It's $60,000 in student loans,, 40,000 in car loans. Oh.
Okay. What's the car breakdown? What do you own each car? It is 17 and 23,000.
Okay. Both pay off in about four years.
Yeah. Okay.
How are you guys, you guys currently are making 170 though right is what you said yeah so take home is 10,000 a month okay and yeah so it is between three and four thousand okay so there's a lot of room there to tackle it yeah for sure yeah yeah no you guys have a great income which i'm so thankful for and it will continue to go up. Yeah, I think my goal, John, for you guys, if I was you, between now and next summer, is I would be working on these car loans, and you may run some numbers and see, what could you sell the $17 for, the $17,000 one? They would both break even.
So I was just looking at it because i just think we owe pretty much exactly what we

can trade in okay okay you know i mean to jump start this um i mean you're not overly heavy

in cars by any means from our you know um math when it comes to to when we look at car debt versus

income um but i would i would make it a goal yeah john to to be cash flowing the rest of your school

i would make it a goal to start paying off that smallest debt so even if it's a small student

I don't know. But I would make it a goal, yeah, John, to be cash flowing the rest of your school.
I would make it a goal to start paying off that smallest debt. So even if it's a small student loan, more before the car, you know, just start working that debt snowball, working the smallest debt to the largest debt, and then be saving in emergency funds.
And then I would save for a down payment on a home. But I'm really encouraged, though, because your numbers, you guys can make some significant progress really fast if you stay focused and you guys have a plan.
So tonight,

lay out a timeline between now and the next three years and have some data points to say,

yep, we want the car paid off here. We want this student loan paid off here.
And you kind of map it out to know that you guys will get to saving to a down payment ASAP, which is where I want you

guys. Thanks for the call.
Thanks for the call, John. We'll be back.
This is the Ramsey Show. I talk to people every day who want to know how to do better in two areas, money and relationships.
That's why I'm pumped to bring the Money and Relationships Tour to a city near you. Join me and Dr.
John Deloney for a night that will challenge the way you think about this stuff and possibly change how you live forever. Starting April 21st, we'll be in Louisville, then on to Durham, Atlanta, Phoenix, Fort Worth, and Kansas City.
Grab your tickets at ramsaysolutions.com slash tour before they're gone. This is the Ramsey Show.
We're thrilled that you are joining us. I'm Ken Coleman.
Rachel Cruz joins me this hour. By the way, I meant to tell you, I love the denim jacket.
Oh, thanks, Ken. Appreciate that.
Very nice. Ken's always my fashion buddy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is fun.
It's time, Rachel. Ask me what time it is.
What time is it, Ken? It's time for one of my favorite new segments. It's called Sorry I Missed Your Call.
call oh but we'll get back to you as soon as we can that's right now we're coming to get a lot of calls that we can't get to live on the show we have our voicemail and uh so we want to try to get to some of those because man it's a bummer i mean you know when i'm trying to call somebody i want to get a hold of i hate voicemail oh it's the worst but we are here for you people so here we go this is from samantha i'm calling because i don't we have do we have the voicemail oh i apologize it'd be nice if i briefed myself on the actual segment so we actually hear the a voicemail can is where you leave your voice i know but i thought i was i thought i was reading it today because it's right here in front of me. I apologize.
Let's go. Let's hear it.

Samantha.

I'm calling because I've been married for 20 years, and I have a lot of frustration and resentment towards my husband because he has no passions or drive or ambition,

and his salary has not increased more than 3% in the last 20 years. And anything that I want in this life for myself or my children, I'm responsible for getting for us.
And I'm tired, and I feel I'm loved and taken care of,

and I'm not sure if I should

be stepping away from this

relationship. Wow.

Wow, wow, wow. Man, that was a doozy.

It's heavy. So a couple

things right out of the gate

for Samantha.

I think the resentment is because I think she

thinks he's lazy. And I don't think this guy's lazy.
I think he's lost. Now, lazy could very well be a symptom of being lost.
But he has no vision for his future. And as a result, no direction.

And when you have no direction, you feel frozen.

100%.

And so I'm just kind of backing into that.

There's a lot going on here.

And that's the first thing I see as a male.

I want to bring you in on this one.

But the second thing that I see is that he needs help that she she cannot give and that's what makes this even more frustrating for Samantha because a guy who's in this situation yeah yeah his wife can't be the one who goes snap out of it you know right no no and that's really has to come within him it does and he needs some help yes and uh Samantha if you're listening would love for you to reach out to us, and I would love to get him connected with one of our coaches because we've got some financial coaches that can also help him on the kind of career stuff and some of my stuff. I was going to say, if we have her contact, y'all, let's send her Ken's assessment.
Let's get the assessment for him and find the work you're wired to do. But my point is that he needs someone outside, a therapist.
Maybe even get him in touch with our friends at BetterHelp. Yeah, totally.
And just talk to somebody. I was going to say, not to sound like John Deloney here, but the rate of male depression is very real.
Oh, it's crazy. And it's not tapped into because guys won't get the help or seek the help or even realize it.

And I'm not being selfish here on the content that I care about.

I'm telling you, but one of the major reasons is when a guy doesn't feel like he's making a difference in the world,

he begins to think that he doesn't matter.

And he starts to not even notice the role of husband and father.

Because there's men, unfortunately, more so than ladies, we tend to put too much worth in our professional success right totally well and i was going to say too i don't think it would bother me if his income raised only three percent over 20 years if he was doing something yeah that he was incredible at and that he loved and was passionate about do you know what i mean like i think that that would overcompensate i think both are hitting her on both ends of it financially she doesn't feel taken care of uh and alone yes and then on the other end she doesn't see any emotional drive from him and which means he's probably a crappy husband too right i think he is yeah so like he's not i think he's a zombie yeah to every part every role that's right uh of his life and and that's what needs to be addressed not just the money side of it. And so, yeah, I mean, Smith, that is a really difficult thing.
And I would encourage you always when we talk about money in marriage and there's one spouse that's kind of like, oh my gosh, raising a lot of concerns. The number one question always is, have you told him? Yeah.
Because the amount of times that people haven't and the resentment builds because it's in the head and it's golly this and you, and you sit there internally for so long that starts to wear on you, Samantha. So I think it needs to be communicated.
And I think it's fair as a, as a, as a wife that you are in a relationship with someone that you don't feel loved by on many different levels to say out loud, I need to see some things change. And I'm going to create boundaries for myself in order to protect myself in that way, even within a marriage.
Like, I think that there is a level of that that needs to be said and is okay. And it's not to threaten him or to give him this ultimatum.
I don't like that either. But it's to say, like, I care about our kids and my own health.
Well, let me tell you why you're spot on. And emotional health is so key.
You've actually nailed it. Thank you, Ken.
Well, let me tell you why. Love when people say that.
On behalf of all men, in all seriousness. Yes, go.
The reason that she needs to say that is because he might very well be unaware. I'm not even trying to be funny right now.
I'm saying that men, I was telling a single gal this morning in our office who was telling a couple of us about her dating life, and I was like, you might want to have some of your friends tell this guy that you're kind of into him because there's a good chance he doesn't know. And I was joking.
I was having fun with that, but dead serious. And I think that men many times, he might be shocked to your point that you got to tell him you don't feel safe.
Because what she's saying is I don't feel safe. Totally.
Financially. Yep.
Probably debt involved. They're probably paycheck to paycheck.
We're probably inferring some things that are probably correct. Right.
However, what you said that was so spot on is she's got to tell him how she feels because he may not be aware. He's so soul sucked.
Like the soul has been sucked out of his body probably. Yep.
Yep. And he's just trying to make it through.
And I'm not in any way giving this guy a break. No, no, no.
But it's the why. But it might be the wake up call that this guy needs is to hear from his wife and go and he's like what and because so many guys just i'm just speaking on behalf of all men we're pretty clueless a lot of times you kind of have to spell it out for us yep yep is that fair to say yes you know what i mean i can't even find the mustard kelly in my own refrigerator well and another quote that i've heard deloney has said it.
It's not his quote. It's another psychologist, but it's so good.
And it says, always choose guilt over resentment. Yeah.
And I think that is brilliant because she may feel like, golly, I just feel, maybe she doesn't, but she could think, oh my God, I feel guilty. I don't want to make him feel worse.
I feel, you know, whatever, whatever, whatever. And because of that, she's been stuffing all of these emotions emotions could be that's turned into resentment with with what we heard on the call so choose guilt over resentment um all day all day and so for her to yeah step up and that's the hardest thing about marriage we we do a lot of money and marriage content here at Ramsey um and actually John Deloney and I Dr.
John Deloney and I have a um money in conference that we're doing. The October one in a few months is sold out.
But you're able to go to the Valentine's one in February. So if you go to RamseySolutions.com slash events, you can check that out.
But I'm saying all that to say, this is a topic we're very passionate about. But the hard thing about marriage, Ken, is that a lot of people think, oh gosh, we got to fix the marriage.9 percent of the time you got to fix you i agree you know what i mean like i agree you're the one coming to the table within the marriage and so that individual health is so key that's why for him um i would i would yeah i'd love to coach him up i might tell you i've taken this call for years on the ken coleman show from women who are just being like my husband's in a funk yeah he's in a rut he's and they're not lazy they're lost yes that's good i think that's the laziness and the way it comes across like he doesn't have any initiative that's a function of having no direct and then the other thing i'll say real quick and then i know we'll end the second i gotta make a quick yeah is that the sometimes people are such hard drivers and it's like oh my god and if you don't live up here with them, you're lazy.
So not saying she's saying that, but also everyone's different. Yeah, maybe she runs faster.
All right, hey, for all of you listening on your favorite podcast app or via YouTube, the show is about to end, but more calls are already lined up, and you can get those only on the Ramsey Network mobile app. It's the only place to get the

full episodes of the Ramsey show. So if you're listening on radio, you don't have anything to

worry about. Stay right where you are.
Two ways to get the app, click the link in the show notes or

search Ramsey Network in the App Store or Google Play. Great hour, Rachel Cruz.
We'll be back with