The One Where They Talk About Laugh Tracks

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Hello and welcome to this episode of the Resters Entertainment Questions and Answers Edition.

I'm Marina Hyde.

And And I'm Richard Osman.

Happy Thursday.

Happy Thursday, Richard.

Or Tuesday, I suppose, if you're a member, because they get it early, don't they?

That's correct.

Whatever day you're listening to this, I've got some sensational any other business to begin with.

Oh, wow, okay.

You remember last week we were talking about Madame Two Swords and what happens when, you know, you fall out of favour or you get cancelled or whatever, what happens to the waxworks?

Okay, we have had a letter.

A letter?

That's as common as any.

So someone sent a letter.

Sorry, you picked up the post.

And there it was.

A pigeon brought it.

Dear Richard and Marina, I greatly enjoyed your recent discussion about what happens to Madame Two Swords waxworks once their subjects have fallen from fame or favour.

For a time, I worked as a serial killer in the Scream Scare Maze inside the old Chamber of Horrors at London Two Swords.

An actual serial killer.

Yeah, a generic one, I think.

Okay.

Doesn't say, it doesn't name the killer.

We would often repurpose retired figures to quietly haunt the scenes.

If you ever visited and spotted Hannibal Elector behind glass, surprise, that wasn't Anthony Hopkins at all, but a shaved Nick Faldo.

Of course, there's more to this letter, but I can't.

I have to honor that.

Sorry.

A shaved Nick Faldo was Hannibal.

Wow.

A shaved Nick Faldo asleep.

I just, I really want to go back and see if there's any pictures of that particular attraction just so I can look at it.

Because I've told you before, one of my favorite happy places is the personal life section of Nick Faldo on his Wikipedia entry.

And because I knew I was going to read this out to you, I've just had a look at it, by the way.

It's been cleaned up.

It's missing everything.

All the things that I've seen.

By the way, Nick Faldo was an 80s, 90s golfer for anyone listening with answers.

Yeah, I mean, you know, Britain's greatest golfer.

Challenge me.

Don't actually, because I want to tell you about the bit where his ex-wife says

socially, he was a 24 handicapper.

It's a ma, oh my god, it's a ma, like how the bursts had to be induced in time for his tournament.

Oh my god, it's so good.

And it's been completely clear.

Big Faldo, I'm talking about like the corporate extreme responsible for promoting the interests of Nick Faldo, didn't do great with the Chamber of Horrors, has cleaned up that entry.

And we now,

now it is lost to the middle.

I'm gonna find it all back out he's recent recently by the way he was in Happy Gilmore 2 yeah and he I have to say I have I make no comment on people's appearance he looks he looked a tiny bit waxworky well sorry we're halfway through this letter still okay the man the man strapped into the electric chair in the chamber of horrors was the former king of greece is that ex-King Constantine of Greece no think it's John Travolta

and the man by the switch of that electric chair was a beardless Charles Manson who could follow you around the room with his eyes in a way that was frankly unsettling, even for the staff.

Charles Manson would already be in the uh the chamber of horror.

He's earned his place.

I'm sorry.

Why does he have to have a walk-on part?

Why can't he be Charles Manson?

I suppose, overtaken by so who was it?

Who was being electrocuted?

It doesn't say just a random

electrocute.

The king of Greece was being electrocuted.

Yeah, Electrocute Manson.

This is how I would do it.

Yeah.

Lector Faldo, Electrocute Manson, Switch King of Greece.

And on it, next week, if you want to send in a question and ask us three various celebrities and ask us Lecter Electric Switch and

we will start playing that game.

Anyone can provide me with a picture of the Hannibal Lecter shaved Nick Faldo actual waxware.

I will be so grateful.

As you know, I'm an ironist and I collect these moments.

God, that's amazing.

And who sent us a question?

Sorry, thank you so much.

That's from Errol, that particular game.

Thank you, Errol.

I was talking to Jimmy Mulville, who runs Hatrick Productions,

probably our greatest comedy producer.

And he was listening to our special episode about Euro Disney and said that that was in 1992 and he still would do things like the holiday program in 1992, Jimmy.

And so the holiday program sent him to Euro Disney for the launch.

So the coldest he'd ever been.

But this is the whole thing.

He said I was constantly surrounded by American executives who I'm almost certain were CIA operatives.

He said I had to conduct an interview with Mickey and Minnie Mouse and all they could do was like use their hands and I had to interpret what that meant.

And then when I said at one point, aren't the people inside Mickey and Minnie cold?

It's absolutely freezing.

They said, We stop the interview, stop the interview now.

Uh, and just the fruit.

And he said, And then I said, They kept saying, This is our fourth Disneyland.

And he said, But you just said there's only one Minnie and one Mickey.

So, how do they sort of,

how do they work that?

He says, I'm not going to answer that question.

He said,

He then went back about five years later with his daughter, and he was so reassured that the waiter in the restaurant was incredibly rude.

He thought, Yes, the French have won.

I don't know if I've told you this, and I'm really sorry if I'm telling this story twice, but it was quite formative.

On my honeymoon, as I told you, I went to Disney.

We drove across America and for two days we were in Disney World, Florida, and we stayed at somewhere called the Wilderness Lodge.

And a character breakfast was available, although obviously I was 25 and we didn't require it.

I would always choose a character breakfast.

Well, I was sexually harassed by Eeyore at that character breakfast.

And yeah, they can't talk, but you know what?

They can just make signs and stuff.

And I didn't like it.

And I I kept saying, Eeyore, I'll tell you what, why don't you go and talk to all those kids who want you to talk to them?

Even though, you know, you're such a miserable character.

Wow.

Or just sod off back to the 100-acre wood.

I don't need this.

And I would say, and he would, he would, was making sort of gestures.

And I was saying, really, Eeyore, I'm kind of, thank you.

It's been lovely to talk to you, although, of course, they can't.

And then he was, I was like, oh my God, just take a no, Eeyore.

Take a no.

I'm like a donkey, of course.

That's so horrible.

That's bad.

Well, so now we're cancelling Eeyore.

Can we start the questions and answer?

Oh, yes, we haven't done any questions yet.

I didn't think that memory could be more traumatizing than if you assumed it and made it so much more.

I assume it's it.

But you made it so much worse.

Oh, man.

I'm so sorry.

Shall we move swiftly along?

Oh, please.

I have.

I'm so sorry, everybody.

Sorry, Marina is what you are.

Yeah.

You're not including an everybody.

It's like a special case.

I feel that my trauma was worse than that.

Yeah, if you're on Real Housewives, you'd go like, there's everybody, and then there's Marina.

Spider-Man Cars, Fiona Dora has a question for you.

I live in Glasgow, where we have been very excited with the new Spider-Man being filmed.

Oh, I was in Glasgow when they were filming

Indiana Jones.

The whole place was kind of made up.

It was really cool.

It does so well, Glasgow.

It's old New York.

It's all these different.

Anyway, carry on.

Anyway, Fiona says, I have a question about the cars they use.

They have lots of American cars.

Do they ship them or is there a warehouse somewhere?

Also, so many were wrecked and smashed up.

What happens to them?

All those stunk cars are very interesting and there are specialist hire companies they used to have a place which i've had gone to the london motor museum which used to have so many things and it had one of the original batmobiles from the adam west thing they had one of the deloreans they had herbie do they really yeah they had mr beans mini owing to a financial dispute whether they were operating as a business or just as a as a not as a going concern they were shut and but they so those cars went to various different places but um i think most of them are in Beauli, by the way.

The Bewley Motor Museum is one of my favourite places.

It's amazing.

The whole world, in the New Forest, if you're ever down in that neck of the woods, I absolutely love it.

I used to go there when I was a kid.

We used to go camping in the New Forest, and we used to go to the Bewley Motor Museum.

And I've been recently as well.

And Bewley itself is beautiful, but the Bewley Motor Museum here, they've got all of those cars.

It's like the whole history.

They've got so many things.

In terms of renting them out,

studios like Poinewood have some in stock, quite a good pool of those American police cars, which, by the way, are constantly by specialist people being re-sprayed in different ways.

So you'll often see the same car and people have done these deep dives into which car has been repeated.

Used the most, yeah.

New decales.

Yeah.

In terms of the smashing up of them, there's lots of different ways they do that.

Lots of them are made of fiberglass and foam and things like that so that they can be spun around very easily.

There's obviously a lot of CGI on that, but if you've seen actual smashed up cars, then they often start with smashed up ones.

They'll have one car, which is called the hero car which is for the close-up work and then have a sort of medium smashed up one for the chase scenes and then they'll have a complete sort of wreck for the at the end they can make car not very good cars look amazing just in order to scrunch them up and then they there are lots of rules of how you dispose of them um and but they often buy junkyard cars and refurbish them there's a whole sort of industry of this but that there is a pool that gets kind of put around all the different productions because so much stuff is filmed here and for something like i talked to someone actually who worked on fast and furious And for those,

you don't have all the, and because remember, we've had a couple shots over here, you don't have all those muscle cars.

They get shipped out for Fast and Furious, and they have huge numbers of them.

And it's a whole, that's a whole operation.

But obviously, they're kind of the star of the movie.

No offense, Vin Diesel.

Yeah, but it's a massive industry, and there's lots of people.

So some companies have hundreds of cars that they can rent you out anything.

And by the way, it's not always, oh, we've got a muscle car or a police car.

Sometimes it's got, we've got like a 1973 Austin Maxi.

Sometimes that's the car you need.

But there's also lots of sort of amateur people who collect cars anyway.

And as a sideline, they will rent them out.

And var agencies, I've got a, you know, American station wagon, even though I just live in Essex.

So, yeah.

And I remember we did when we did Celebrity Antiques Road Trip and they give you kind of old cars to go in.

And the people who own the cars come out with them just so they're absolutely looked after.

And they're also, because some of them are slightly harder to drive than certainly for me because I don't drive.

And so they would come out and show you how to use them and what have you.

But by and large, they're sort of hobbyists, some of those people.

But funnily enough, in the Thursday Murder Club, there are a couple of scenes, and that's a big budget.

They weren't skimping anywhere, but there's a couple of scenes where there's police cars parked outside a window, which are cardboard cutouts.

And you would not in a million years ever know because scene painters are so extraordinary.

But it's a lovely sideline for anyone who does collect old cars or doing up old cars.

There's always a drama, a film, a something which can use whatever car it is that you have.

And they're constantly doing up the ones they have and slightly altering them.

There are a lot because we we have so many american productions filmed over here but my recommendation is the beauty motor museum yeah there's in type into as well which is brilliant yeah in we solve murders there's a fictional village called axley and people keep saying where is it because it sounds so beautiful and it isn't anywhere but it's sort of it's slightly based on beauty the village of beauty which is very very beautiful yeah yeah oh i like that this is a good one from kelly salter as a fan of history documentaries i wonder if the historians or authors who provide talking head perspectives and narrative do it specifically for a program or whether it's recorded as stock content and any production can use it.

Does Does it mean there's a risk of an esteemed historian, such as the wonderful James Holland, my personal fave, being used in a less than accurate documentary?

Thank you very much, Kelly.

I thought that as James Holland is Kelly's personal fave, I thought maybe rather than answer it myself, we'd get James Holland to answer it.

Very good.

He obviously records the We Have Ways and Making You Talk podcast with Al Murray, who I bumped into on the street the other day, had a lovely chat, but he had nothing to say on this particular question.

But I'll tell you a man who does, and that is James Holland.

So here's James Kelly answering your question.

Well, they are absolutely recorded specifically, Kelly, and I've got to say, they're absolutely awful.

They're torturous, and I can't bear them.

And I've made a solemn vow never to do it ever, ever again.

Because basically, what happens is you go into a darkened room somewhere in a hotel or a warehouse in London, for example, and you're asked to contribute to, let's say, three to six different programs.

You've got to know absolutely everything.

You're asked maybe 200 questions in one day.

You're underpaid.

And the whole thing, you have absolutely no control over it whatsoever.

which is one of the reasons why my great pal Al Murray and I do our podcast, because it means that we can go into the enormous detail on the subjects that we want to from our period, which is the Second World War,

and

cover it on our own terms in our own way and have complete control over the material.

I enjoyed the seagulls over his head while he was saying that, the noise of it, and also the observation that you're made to sit in a warehouse.

Why are they always always sitting almost always in a some sort of you know abandoned warehouse to discuss the third reich genuinely yeah because it gives you real depth of field so you're in a you're in a somewhere that would cost almost nothing to hire out because it's a warehouse somewhere you can have one light in the front of them and you've got this massive depth of field in the background which means you can sort of blur out and it looks like you're sort of somewhere kind of utilitarian but it just it just it's just a really lovely shot for almost no money at all it always looks bombed out sorry i've just popped in from the wars to talk about the war Sorry, it's going on outside, but ask me anything.

Ask me 200 questions in a day.

That's a lot.

That is a lot.

You know, there's all those talking head shows on TV.

Funnily enough, the historian thing, people always used to say with the Philomena Cunk shows, you know, cunk on Britain, cunk on the world.

And she would always talk to academics.

People would go, oh my God, these academics don't know that they're having the mick taken out of them.

And

they all did.

Every single person who's ever interviewed by cunk absolutely is in on the joke.

They're just told, just give the answers that you would normally answer anyway.

If you think a question is stupid, absolutely feel free to say it.

But talk as if you were talking to a child and be patient and try and explain a possible answer to the question that she is giving.

So those are the only notes they're given.

But occasionally you see reviews just saying, how stupid are these academics?

And you think, I mean, how stupid are you that you really, you're a TV reviewer and you're not working out that these people are in on that gag?

We've already done one show about the nature of reality this week.

Let's go about there for the Q ⁇ A.

Okay, I love that answer.

Thank you very much.

Thanks so much, James.

Shall we go to some adverts now?

We did spend about 15 minutes at the beginning talking about Nick Fowldo, which I had not predicted, I must say.

Never wasted.

Never wasted.

Never wasted.

See you in a moment.

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Welcome back, everybody.

Marina Tom Frost asks: when filming shows like Friends, did the live audience watch the scenes in the order they are shown once the show is released?

I've noticed they laugh at lines which reference jokes or bits from earlier on in episodes, which makes me think it must be filmed in order.

Well, Tom, you are right.

Friends was filmed with a live audience and it now sounds like, although everyone loves it, like a period piece with those laughter tracks.

But it was always on a Friday afternoon and they did shoot it in chronological order because otherwise it doesn't work.

Having said that, it takes an incredibly long time to film a half an hour episode of television and it took six hours, which is actually quite good going.

Six hours.

Well, that's quite good going.

Think how long it takes to film half an hour of something that hasn't got a studio audience.

It takes about eight days.

House of Games, we do in, I'd say, 48 minutes.

You are a pro, though.

You are an absolute program.

I know.

It may not last as long as friends, but it's quicker.

I'll say that.

Well, each...

scene was filmed five or six times and I would have thought that's the minimum because you've got to do everyone's coverage and you think it's so important the reaction shots in comedy and so everyone's coverage is particularly important more important than it might be in other things.

Um, because so much of that might just even come from someone from a look, from a glance, or from a non-reaction.

The writers would be on set and they would change lines within the takes, and they might even improvise a tiny little bit at the end, um, do a loose take as it's called.

So, they're trying to get the most laughs out of it.

Although, if the scene may get funnier, and that often happens when you're filming comedy, is that by the time you know you've done it six times, then it's become funny because you realize everyone's worked out what they're doing, and then something spontaneous might just happen.

Unfortunately, the audience laughter for friends would actually wane

because you've literally watched

it.

Even that's getting funnier and funnier.

You've heard a joke already.

Your first response to a joke is always going to be your best response.

Yeah, you're not the director.

You're just there to laugh, and you've heard it, you've enjoyed it, that's it.

So, although the performances were improving, the laughs weren't.

And so, what the editors did was that they took the first laugh track and laid it over so that those wonderful, fresh laughs, Richard, would be reheated.

Which again feels like fakery, but in a way sort of isn't because you know you are trying to make it as funny as possible but you do have an audience there and the audience are laughing less and less and you know why and you cannot put out the version you can you your funniest version is going to be unwatchable because of the audience reaction so you have to take a genuine real it's the same audience and they are laughing at the same jokes it's just they were laughing at it 45 minutes ago and so you combine the freshness of the laughs with the quality of the improved scene and that's what you see on television yeah i mean it's a lot easier now.

You don't have to do that anymore.

Yes, having no audience.

Having no audience, but anyway, so Central Perk and their apartments were at the front of the stage, so that was directly in front of the audience.

And if anything else was taking place on secondary sets towards the back,

you would like say Ross's apartment.

They watched that on monitors.

Most season finales would be filmed without an audience at all because they had to protect the plot lines and all the so those shocked gasps when Ross says Rachel's name at the altar when he's marrying Emily

yeah that's all fake but Lisa Kudrow actually hated filming in front of a live studio audience because she thought that they were laughing too much at her jokes even when they weren't funny or they hadn't landed and she

no she's obviously a purist

and so she it used to take a lot of her energy not to snap snap at the fans for laughing too much at her wow in America you get paid to be in an audience as well

over here you don't it's it's you know in return for getting in free, you have to sit there for three hours or whatever it is.

But in America, because they're very aware, certainly in that era, of how important an audience was, you get paid.

So you would sit there for six hours and you would applaud wildly when you were told to applaud because you were getting paid to do it, which, by the way, doesn't mean the laughter is.

faked because you're watching friends and that's an amazing thing to do.

But certainly for the last two and a half hours, you know, the fact that you're watching friends may have paled a tiny bit.

And that's the point at which the money kicks in.

Six hours in.

The Danny Dyer strictly

observation slot.

Okay, I'm done.

Right.

A question from Stephen Roddy Duffy.

That's a good name.

I found myself in a bit of a YouTube rabbit hole and I started wondering about cameos in music videos.

Which music video has the most?

Is it Taylor's gang in Bad Blood?

Well, the most is an interesting question.

I think she might have had the best her girl group, uh, including her.

Oh, it's long and strong in quality.

Exactly that.

Yeah, you've got well, Taylor Swift herself is in it.

Uh, Selena Gomez is in it.

Kendrick Lamar is the um token male in there.

Lena Dunham is in there.

Zendaya is in there.

Ellie Goulding, Cara Delavine, Haley Williams is in it.

Jessica Alber is in it.

Ellen Papayo, Cindy Crawford is in it.

So it's long in quality, I'll say that.

But in terms of numbers, Michael Jackson, Liberian Girl, he had 35 celebrities in that.

And actually, that was pretty good in terms of some of the quality.

Richard Dreyfus is in there.

Spielberg's in there.

My mate, Whoopi Goldberg, is in there.

John Travolta, Weird Al Yankovic is in there.

Luffy Rigno, the Incredible Hulk, as well.

And Corey Feldman.

I mean, that ages at a tiny bit, doesn't it?

I want to talk about him next week, actually.

Corey Feldman.

Michael Jackson.

This has reminded me.

Carry on.

Okay, good.

That's 35 in that.

The Beastie Boys Fight for Your Right Revisited.

So that was Adam Youch when he was going through chemotherapy before he sadly passed away.

He wanted to celebrate the 25th anniversary of Fight for Your Right to Party.

And there's like a 30-minute epic version of that with all sorts of people in it.

You've got Elijah Wood, Danny McBride, and Seth Rogan.

They're playing the Beastie Boys.

You've got Standy Tucci, Jack Black, Amy Polo, Will Ferrell, all sorts of brilliant people in that.

It's a sort of very scrappy kind of SNL type skit, but it's, you know, it's 30 minutes long.

It's just before Adam Yauch died, so it's very, very much worth looking at.

But in terms of numbers, in terms of numbers, it's a recent one, which is the Charlie XCX video for boys.

She's got 75 cameos in that.

I'm going to say some of the cameos aren't as strong as in some of the other videos, but if you if you purely want an answer in terms of numbers, it has to be this.

There's Joe Jonas is in it, Stormzy is in it, Tiny Temper, Will I Am, Carl Barrett from The Libertines.

As I say, it's not, it's not all there, it's not all Richard Dreyfus.

Does it fall away off?

Riz Ahmed, no, it's all good.

Tom Daly is in it, Mark Ronson is in it, Ezra Koenig from Vampire Weekend.

I think they filmed lots of cameos at Coachella as well.

So anyone that plays, basically who played Coachella is in that video.

So Charlie XEX Boys with 75 is the

most cameo-laden video of all time, unless one of our listeners knows otherwise.

But Beating 75 will be going at 75 is a lot.

That's a lot.

That's a lot.

It's a lot.

That's like Santa Swat three and a half minutes.

That's like Happy Gilmore 2.

Yeah.

No Nick Faldo in any of those.

I wonder if Nick Faldo has ever appeared.

He might have been shaved.

You don't know this.

There could be a shaved Faldo.

A shaved Faldo can appear actually in many, many places.

That's not Tom Daly.

That's not Tom Daly in those tiny trunks.

Faldo is on by name now, shaved Faldo's.

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

When we do our music video, which is just going to be hundreds of shaved Faldos.

If anyone knows of any pop video that he might have done like a charity single in the 90s or something, if anyone knows of any video that has Nick Faldo in it, shaved or otherwise.

By the way, he wasn't famously mustachioed or bearded, Faldo, so I don't know what he's, I guess he always had that slightly kind of

thinking of Lecter's hair.

Lecter's hasn't got much hair.

It's got it's that

so maybe, yeah, he always had a lot of hair.

Yeah, but

they give him the prison buzz cut.

Do you know what?

Which actually was, by the way, I just want to say that's not in the personal life section of the website now or ever.

Nit Falder has never had a prison issue buzz cut.

No.

Well, this is probably the first he's heard of the Madame Two Swords thing.

Yeah.

Wow.

And I mean, you know, he doesn't hate legal action, so he

imagine what the disclaimer is.

I can be used in anything.

Yes, you're going to melt me slightly and shave me and turn me into Anthony Hopkins.

Yeah, but turning Anthony Hopkins

will turn you into a Hannibal Ector.

You know that Hannibal Ector was Anthony Hopkins.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

He was doing acting.

Oh, how ridiculous.

Thank you, Marina.

Now, we have a special QA next week.

This is exciting.

Yes, which is I'm going to be talking to Chris Columbus, who's over for the Thursday Murder Club premiere.

We've had so many questions from our listeners.

What a career Chris Columbus has had and what a lovely guy he is as well.

So I'm going to be talking to him and putting all of your questions to him.

I think maybe you're going to be away.

I'm going to be away, but I'm submitting questions.

Can you choose a couple of them?

Well, Chris.

I feel like I've gotten in with you.

Chris is going to be absolutely gutted because the only reason he said yes to it is so he got the chance to meet you.

But there it is.

That is Shopians.

You know what?

I hope just to punish you for being away, I hope you bring Spielberg with him as well.

I hope just him.

Oh, you'd love that.

Yeah.

You'd love that.

Yeah, he goes, Richie, did you mind?

I bought Pierce Brosnan with me.

I don't mind.

I tell you who will mind.

He goes, listen,

I bought three people with me.

I bought Steven Spielberg.

I bought Piers Bosnan, and I brought my new friend Nick Faldo.

I don't know if you know him.

If that happens,

I'll be inconsolable.

Yeah, no,

I'm gutted you're not going to be here because you would love him.

That will be next week's QA.

So, all your questions to Chris Columbus.

But other than that, for members, we have a special on Studio 54 coming out on Friday.

Oh, it burns so brightly.

Yeah, it's going to be really fun.

That.

And if not, we will, as always, see you next Tuesday.

See you next Tuesday.

This episode was brought to you by our good friends at Sky, who've made something rather special.

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Olivia loves a challenge.

It's why she lifts heavy weights

and likes complicated recipes.

But for booking her trip to Paris, Olivia chose the easy way with Expedia.

She bundled her flight with a hotel to save more.

Of course, she still climbed all 674 steps to the top of the Eiffel Tower.

You were made to take the easy route.

We were made to easily package your trip.

Expedia, made to travel.

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